Goof Troop (1992) s02e03 Episode Script

1
♪♪
AH-HYUCK.
H-H-H-HIT IT ♪
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON ♪
YOU'RE ALWAYS NUMBER ONE ♪
YES!
BEST BUDDIES, BEST PALS ♪
YEAH ♪
YOU ALWAYS SEEM
TO WORK THINGS OUT ♪
CAN'T YOU SEE
YOU'RE TWO OF A KIND ♪
LOOKIN' FOR
A REAL GOOD TIME? ♪
WHAA-OOO-HO-HO!
A REAL GOOD TIME ♪
REPOR
TO THE GOOF TROOP ♪
AND WE'LL ALWAYS
STICK TOGETHER ♪
ALWAYS
STICK TOGETHER ♪
WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
THE BEST OF FRIENDS
FOREVER ♪
SIDE BY SIDE
WHEREVER WE GO ♪
WE'RE ALWAYS READY TO ROLL ♪
NOW GIMME A BEAT ♪
WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
AND WE ALWAYS
STICK TOGETHER ♪
GAWRSH.
WE'RE THE GOOF TROOP ♪
THE BEST OF FRIENDS
FOREVER ♪
NOW WE'RE CALLING
EVERYONE ♪
COME ALONG
AND JOIN THE FUN ♪
REPORT TO
THE GOOF TROOP ♪
LA DO BE DA BOP
LA BA DO BOP ♪
YEAH!
THE REAL ME,
A POEM BY WENDELL FRINKMAN.
AHEM.
"I LIKE COFFEE. I LIKE TEA.
I LIKE RECESS.
THAT IS ME."
THE END. THANK YOU.
BRAVO!
ALL RIGHT, WENDELL!
THANK YOU, WENDELL.
THAT WAS VERYBRIEF.
ALL RIGHT,
OUR NEXT POET WILL BE
ROSE. ROSE BECKENBLOOM.
THE REAL ME.
"I AM LIKE A FLOWER
"HIDDEN BENEATH
A SHADY PATH--
"WAITING FOR SOMEONE
"TO BRING MY WORLD
TO LIGHT.
"WAITING FOR SOMEONE
WHO WILL SEE
"THAT, BEHIND MY SHY
AND QUIET EYES--
I AM A ROSE,
WAITING TO BLOOM."
[LAUGHTER]
ALL RIGHT, SETTLE DOWN,
SETTLE DOWN!
THAT WAS LOVELY, ROSE.
RELAX, PJ
IT WASN'T THAT BAD.
NO. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL,
JUST LIKE HER.
HUH? WHAT ARE YOU
TALKIN' ABOUT?
PEEJ? PEEJ?
PEEJ, GET A GRIP.
I KNOW SPRINGTIME
MAKES FOLKS CRAZY,
BUT ROSE BECKENBLOOM?
MAX, HER WORDS
TOUCHED ME RIGHT HERE.
THE REAL ME.
I GOTTA FIND HER POEM.
O.K., BU
SHOW SOME DIGNITY.
ROMANCE
AND STALE MEAT LOAF
DON'T MIX.
SOMEBODY'S COMING!
WHOA!
[PJ]
MAX? MAX!
EW!
AH, GREAT
WELL, MAYBE SHE DIDN'
SEE THE REAL YOU,
BUT YOU DID
FIND HER POEM.
UH, AND AN EXOTIC
NEW SMELL, TOO.
[PEG] PETEY-PIE,
I'M WORRIED ABOUT PJ.
HE BARELY TOUCHED
HIS THIRD HELPING.
DO YOU THINK
IT'S THE MUMPS?
NAW, IT'S PROBABLY
JUST YOUR COOKING.
HAR-HAR! HAR-HAR!
JUST YOUR COOKING!
HA HA. HA.
GUY HUMOR. HOW AMUSING.
NOW LAUGH THESE DISHES
OFF THE TABLE.
UH, YES, PEACH-PITS.
HA-HA. HO-HO.
CURIOUSER AND CURIOUSER.
[PJ]
"I AM LIKE A FLOWER,
HIDDEN BENEATH
THE SHADY PATH--"
HELLO. LOVE TALK.
YOU'RE ON THE AIR.
I-- O.K. WELL, I KINDA
LIKE THIS GIRL, SEE? AND--
SAME OLD STORY, HUH?
OH, YEAH. RIGHT.
BUT SHE DOESN'T KNOW
I LIKE HER, O.K.?
SO WHAT DO I DO?
WHATEVER YOU DO, SON,
DON'T PLAY
YOUR HAND TOO SOON
IN THIS COSMIC DANCE
OF THE HEART SONG.
DON'T,
I REPEAT, DON'T--
WHO YA
TALKIN' TO, PJ?
SANTA CLAUS. NOW BEAT IT!
IS THAT CLEAR?
UH, YEAH. UH, THANKS.
HAPPY LOVE LIFE.
WOW. WAIT'LL MY FRIENDS
HEAR ABOUT THIS.
YOU BETTER NOT!
GIMME YOUR TAPE DECK,
OR I'LL BLAB.
MY TAPE DECK?
DREAM ON, KID.
PJ'S GOT A GIRLFRIEND!
SHH! O.K., O.K., O.K.!
YOU CAN HAVE IT. SHH!
PJ's GOT A GIRLFRIEND!
SHUT UP!
WHOA!
O.K. WHAT GIVES?
UH, JUST HELPING PISTOL,
UH, SWALLOW HER DESSERT.
UH-UH, DADDY.
PJ WAS STIFLING
MY FREEDOM OF SPEECH.
HE DOESN'T WANT YOU
TO KNOW HE'S IN LOVE.
OH, THE BIG "L," HUH?
THANKS, DARLIN'.
SCOOT ALONG.
WELL, THAT'S GRATITUDE.
SO CUPID'S DAR
HAS PUNCTURED
MY LITTLE GUY'S AORTA.
HA HA!
IS THE LUCKY LADY
UNDER YOUR SPELL?
WELL, NOT EXACTLY, DAD.
SHE SORT OF DOESN'
EVEN KNOW I'M ALIVE.
NOW, SON, IF YOU
WANT TO ROPE A FILLY,
YA GOTTA ACT LIKE A MAN.
NOW PUT THESE ON
AND STAND COOL, SEE?
NOT LIKE THAT, SON.
LEGS APART,
THUMBS HOOKED,
HEAD COCKED.
AND KEEP YOUR
SHIRTTAILS OUT.
SLOPPY IS SEXY.
HERE.
BOOTS REEK OF MANLINESS.
WHOA. YOU GOT THAT RIGHT.
LET ME SEE SOME MUSCLES.
YEAH, BUT, DAD--
SLEEVES ARE ONLY GOOD
FOR WIPIN' YER NOSE,
BOY! HA HA!
DYNAMITE! NOW BELCH.
WHAT?
BELCH.
LET HER KNOW YOU'RE THERE.
[BURP]
NO, SON.
FROM YOUR GUTS,
LIKE THIS.
SWALLOW SOME AIR, SEE?
[BURP]
RELEASES CALORIES, TOO.
AND THEN YOU SPIT, SEE?
DO I HAFTA?
DO YOU WAN
THIS GIRL OR NOT?
WELL, YEAH.
THEN DO
EXACTLY LIKE I SAY.
I GUARANTEE ANY GIRL
WILL FALL FOR IT.
HA HA! YOUR MOM DID.
SON, YOU BE COOL.
YOU BE TOUGH.
AND YOU'LL ALWAYS
BE THE MASTER.
[PEG] PETE,
YOU GET DOWN HERE
AND RINSE OU
THE CREAMER!
COMING, FLOWER POT!
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[SLURPS]
[BURP]
YO, MAMA.
UH!
WAIT! ROSE.
HEY, DUDE,
LOOK AT MY SHOES.
UM, I'M SORRY,
MARTY.
AIN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN,
YOU BAD BOY?
THE VET IS WAITING FOR YOU.
HE'S HAVING TROUBLE.
HE THINKS HE'S A DOG.
THINKS HE'S--
OH, YEAH!
RUFF! RUFF RUFF!
GRRRRRRR.
BAD DOG. NO KIBBLE
FOR YOU TONIGHT.
AW, SHE HATES ME, MAX.
I KNOW IT.
I MEAN, FIRST THE
DUMPSTER, AND NOW THIS.
PEEJ, DO YOU NEED
A FIRE HYDRANT?
SO WHERE'D
YOU GET THIS LOOK,
REDNECK MONTHLY?
DAD'S IDEA.
MAX, HE'S RUINING
MY LOVE LIFE!
RELAX, ROMEO!
I KNOW SOMEONE WHO CAN
HELP YOU WIN ROSE--
REALLY?
YEP.
AN EXPERT OF EMOTIONS.
A HEALER OF HEARTS.
WHO?
A DIRECTOR OF DATING.
WHO?
A GURU OF GIRLFRIENDS!
WHO?
ME!
AW, THIS IS
GONNA BERUFF.
I DON'T KNOW
ABOUT THIS, MAX.
LOOK, ROSE IS
THE SENSITIVE TYPE,
SO SHE'S GOTTA
LIKE BABIES.
AND IF YOU SAVE ONE,
SHE'S GOTTA LIKE YOU.
WELL
NOW GO GET READY.
BINGO!
WAAH WAAH!
OH, MY. THAT SOUNDS
LIKE A BABY IN DANGER.
WAAH! WAAH!
BUT DO NO
DIAL 911, MISS,
FOR I AM A TRAINED
PARAMEDIC.
AREN'T YOU A LITTLE SHORT?
I'M A PARA-PARAMEDIC.
WAAH WAAH!
YOU SEE, ALTHOUGH
WE ARE A RUGGED LOT,
WE ARE TERRIBLY
SENSITIVE AND CARING.
WHAT ABOUT THE BABY?
THE BABY!
HELP! WAAAAAHHHH!
GOTCHA, MAX. WHOA!
OW! OOO! EEE! OW!
YAAAH!
[COUGHING]
PEEJ? PEEJ!
UHH. DIAL 911.
AT THIS RATE, I'LL NEVER
GET TO DANCE WITH ROSE.
MAYBE YOU SHOULD
ASK OUT MARTY.
YOU SEE HIM ENOUGH.
NOT FUNNY, MAX.
HEY THERE, HEARTBREAKER.
MY ADVICE MUST REALLY
BE PAYING OFF, EH?
WHAT?
LOOKS LIKE THOSE BABES
CAN HARDLY KEEP
THEIR HANDS OFF YOU.
YEAH RIGHT, DAD.
MOB CITY.
HOW'S IT COMIN'
WITH THAT CHICKADEE?
YOU ASK HER OUT?
OH! ABSO-TOOTIN'-LUTELY, SIR!
SHE CAN'T WAI
TO GO WITH PEEJ HERE
TO THE SPRING FLING.
HA HA HA!
THAT'S MY BOY.
A CREDIT TO YOUR GENDER,
JUST LIKE
YOUR OLD MAN.
MAX,
YOU LIED TO MY DAD!
YOU WANT HIM TO GIVE YOU
SOME MORE POINTERS?
NO.
THEN SHOW A LITTLE
GRATITUDE, DUDE.
O.K., BUT FROM NOW ON,
NO MORE ADVICE--
NOT FROM YOU, NOT FROM DAD,
NOT FROM ANYONE!
THAT'S THE SPIRIT!
I GOT MY OWN PLAN NOW.
I BOUGHT ROSE A PRESENT.
WELL, ALL RIGHT.
FROM NOW ON,
I'M GONNA STAND
ON MY OWN TWO FEET!
MAX?
YEAH.
WILL YOU GIVE IT TO HER?
[PJ] O.K.,
UH, ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
WHEN SHE COMES TO HER LOCKER,
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT TO SAY.
GREAT.
WHERE WILL YOU BE?
UH, I'LL HIDE IN HERE.
COME ON.
GIMME A HAND, MAX.
YOU DON'T NEED A HAND.
YOU NEED A BULLDOZER.
EASY! OW!
LEMME JUST-- WATCH IT!
WELL?
YOU LOOK LIKE
A CANNED HAM.
[BELL RINGS]
SHE'S COMING!
HI, ROSE.
She's here.
UM, "I PRESENT THIS GIF
ON BEHALF OF
A YEARNING HEART."
I PRESENT THIS GIF
ON BEHALF OF
A BURNING TART.
[PJ]
HEART!
I MEAN HEART.
IT'S
THANK YOU.
HEY, WAIT!
WE'RE NOT DONE!
BE RIGHT BACK, PEEJ.
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
[PJ] "SO ACCEPT THIS GIF
FROM MY FRIEND PJ,
"WHO WORSHIPS
YOUR EVERY MOVE.
"PLEASE FIND I
IN YOUR HEAR
TO GO TO THE SPRING FLING
WITH ME, MY DARLING."
OH, HI, MARTY.
YOU WANNA PLAY FETCH?
FUR BALL!
AND PJ?
HAS ANYONE SEEN PJ
PRESENT.
VERY WELL.
TAKE YOUR SEATS.
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?
MARTY SHOWED ME
HIS KNUCKLE COLLECTION.
SORRY. ROSE RAN OFF,
SO I HAD TO FOLLOW HER.
AND YOU WANT THE GOOD NEWS
OR THE BAD NEWS?
THE BAD.
SHE LOVED THE GIFT,
AND SHE SAID YES TO THE DANCE.
WHAT'S BAD ABOUT THAT?
SHE WANTS TO GO WITH ME.
AH, SOME PAL.
WHILE MARTY'S REARRANGING
MY FACE, YOU STEAL MY DATE!
HEY, GENIUS,
REWIND THE TAPE.
YOU GOT ME INTO THIS,
YOU LOCKER LOAFER.
WHOA, TIME-OUT!
WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
MARTY THINKS
HE'S A DOG,
AND ROSE IS BARKING
UP THE WRONG TREE!
DON'T TELL ME.
HE'S BEEN COACHING YOU
ON "HOW TO ROPE A FILLY"
AND BELCHING, YEAH,
AND SPITTING.
OH! WHEN IT COMES TO WOMEN,
YOUR FATHER IS
FULL OF YAMS!
I KINDA FIGURED THAT OUT, MOM.
BOY, I'D LIKE TO TEACH
THAT HAMHOCK A LESSON.
YES! THAT'S IT!
THANKS, MRS. P!
YOU'RE WELCOME
I THINK.
SO, MAX, IF YOU'RE
TAKING ROSE TO THE DANCE,
WHY AM I GOING?
SO YOU CAN DANCE
WITH HER, DIPSTICK.
BUT SHE LIKES YOU.
NOT AFTER
WE SWITCH DATES.
I DON'T HAVE A DATE.
YOU DO NOW.
MEET MALLORY.
LIKE, I'M TOTALLY
PLEASED TO MEET YOU!
[GASP]
I'M TELLING MOM YOU'VE
GOT A GIRL IN YOUR ROOM!
SHE ALREADY KNOWS, HONEY.
MOM!
AND YOUR DAD
WILL NEVER HAVE TO KNOW.
[PETE] PJ, YOU UP THERE?
OH, YEAH?
HIDE.
SO WHADDYA THINK?
NICE, DAD. UH,
GOING TO A FUNERAL?
WAKE UP, PJ
THAT'S A CHAUFFEUR'S UNIFORM.
RIGHT. I'M DRIVIN'
YOU TWO ROMEOS
TO THE DANCE
IN A LIMOUSINE.
HE NEVER TAKES ME
OUT IN A LIMO.
UH, THANKS, SIR,
BUT WE'LL WALK.
YA GOTTA DAZZLE
DAMES WITH DOUGH!
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
HERE'S A PAIR OF
EARRINGS FOR YOUR GAL.
YOUR MOM'LL
NEVER MISS 'EM.
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
[PEG SQUEALS]
D'JU HEAR SOMETHIN'?
MY DAD PROBABLY
STEPPED ON WAFFLES.
WELL, LET'S GET THIS
CATTLE DRIVE GOIN'.
MOO! HA HA HA!
YEAH, GREAT.
MEETCHA DOWNSTAIRS.
Oooo! OOOOOOOO!
NOT NOW, MRS. P.
NOW RUN OVER TO
STEVIE LISH'S HOUSE
SO WE CAN PICK YOU UP.
ALL RIGHT, BUT BEFORE
THE NIGHT'S OVER,
I'M GONNA DANCE
ON HIS WINDPIPE!
YII!
[CRASH]
AND TELL HIM MAX SENT YA!
[HONKING]
[PJ AND MAX]
AWESOME!
SO WHERE DOES THIS HOT DATE
OF YOURS LIVE, JUNIOR?
UH, GO ONE BLOCK,
THEN TURN LEFT.
[PETE] HA HA HA!
NICE JALOPY, HUH?
GO RIGHT! RIGHT!
I THOUGHT YOU SAID LEFT.
[MAX] NO, RIGHT!
[MAX]
SHE MADE IT.
OOPS. YOU WERE RIGHT.
WE SHOULDA GONE LEFT.
[DING-DONG]
WOW. HI.
YEAH, YEAH. HI.
MAX SENT ME.
MAX WHO?
JUST LET ME IN, TWINK!
THANK YOU.
[HONK HONK]
LIKE, BYE, LITTLE BROTHER.
SEE YA LATER, FER SURE!
THAT'S YOUR DATE?
[PJ] UH, YEAH.
THAT'S MY BOY! HA HA HA!
[PETE]
GIVE HER THE BOX.
OH, RIGHT. UH, HERE, MOM--
MAM-- MAM-- MALLORY!
OH, THEY'RE, LIKE, WOW.
IN FACT, THEY'RE TOTALLY
LIKE A PAIR I ONCE HAD.
AREN'T YOU A LITTLE
OLD FOR PJ?
GIRLS MATURE FASTER
THAN BOYS.
GAAK!
FEISTY
LITTLE FILLY.
SORTA LIKE PEG
AT THAT AGE.
WHEN MAX AND I GET UP
TO DANCE TONIGHT,
YOU TALK TO ROSE.
HOW 'BOUT I
JUST MOVE TO SIBERIA?
RELAX. NOW
LET'S GET ROSE.
THANKS FOR ALL YOUR HELP,
DAD. YOU CAN GO NOW.
BYE. SO LONG. LEAVE!
HMM. THINK I'LL STICK AROUND
AND WATCH MY LITTLE
PUPIL AT WORK.
SAY, ROSE, DO YOU
LIKE TO FAST-DANCE?
OH, I'M--
I'M NOT TOO GOOD AT IT.
ME, NEITHER.
AW, TOO BAD,
'CUZ I LOVE HOT MUSIC!
OOO, LIKE, ME, TOO!
♪♪
IF WE DON'T GE
SOME REAL MUSIC,
OUR WHOLE PLAN IS SHOT.
LEAVE IT TO ME, MRS. P.
♪[JAZZ]
♪[PLAYING ALONG WITH RADIO]
THEY DANCE WELL.
YEAH.
OH! UH, DO YOU
WANT SOME PUNCH?
O.K.
YEP, LOOKS LIKE
OUR JOB'S DONE.
[PEG] FER SURE.
I'LL GET IT.
NOW WE'LL
JUST TIPPY-TOE
OUTTA HERE.
I'LL JUST TIPPY-TOE
UP YOUR SPINE!
HEY, PJ, I CAUGHT THIS LITTLE
WEASEL STEALIN' YOUR DATE!
OH, MAN!
SIR, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.
LOOK, KID, I HELPED PJ SNAG
THIS FOX FAIR AND SQUARE.
SO YOU JUST STICK WITH
YOUR OWN DATE, SEE?
[SOBBING]
WHEN ARE YOU EVER GONNA
LEARN TO BUTT OUT?
AW, CLAM UP, MISSY.
YOU'RE WORSE THAN MY WIFE.
OH, THAT'S IT!
MUFFIN TIN!
THANKS FOR
THE EARRINGS!
FOOD FIGHT!
GO AFTER HER, PJ.
AND THIS TIME,
JUST BE YOURSELF.
THANKS, MOM.
SIC 'EM, BOY!
GRRR
GOOD THING, TOO.
I HAVE RABIES!
YOU WANT A NAPKIN?
I ONLY USED IT ONCE.
OH, THANKS.
[HONNKKK]
NOW I'D
LIKE TO BE ALONE.
AHEM.
"I AM LIKE A FLOWER
HIDDEN BENEATH
THE SHADY PATH."
THAT'S--
THAT'S MY POEM!
I KINDA DUG I
OUT OF THE DUMPSTER.
THAT WAS YOU?
[PJ]
YEAH. AND THE REDNECK
AND THE PARA-PARAMEDIC.
[GIGGLING]
I THINK I LIKE
THE REAL YOU MORE.
ME, TOO.
♪[SLOW MUSIC]
I DON'T SUPPOSE
YOU'D WANT TO
SORT OF DANCE.
UM, O.K.