Heathcliff & the Catillac Cats (1984) s01e25 Episode Script

- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THERE'S A RACE TO BE ON TOP
THE COMPETITION
DOESN'T STOP ♪
MIXING WITH
THE LADIES FAIR ♪
BEING CHARMING, DEBONAIR
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
FIND IN EACH CALAMITY
THE CATS' SUPERIORITY
OH OH OH
OH OH OH OH OH ♪
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU
- MEOW? MEOW.
- [WHISTLING "CAMPTOWN RACES"]
- OW!
- HMM.
I THOUGHT I WAS BEING TAILED.
WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH ME, KID?
- MAMA.
- MAMA? HEY, I'M ROUGH AND TOUGH
AND HARD AS NAILS.
DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR MAMA?
- YOU'LL DO.
- I'LL DO?
AH, NO WAY, KITTEN.
I GOT A REPUTATION TO UPHOLD.
- [PURRING]
- AWW, COME ON, LITTLE GUY.
KNOCK IT OFF.
THERE. NOW YOU GO FIND YOUR MAMA
ON YOUR OWN.
- [WHIMPERING]
- AWW, DON'T BE A FRAIDY CAT.
SCRAM. GO.
BESIDES, WHAT'S TO BE AFRAID OF?
- MEOW!
- HEY, EASY, PAL.
WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF?
- RUFF RUFF.
- A BIG WOOF WOOF?
TOUGH? MEAN? UGLY?
THAT CAN ONLY BE SPIKE.
- [GROWLING]
- RELAX, KID.
I'LL SHOW AND TELL YOU
HOW TO HANDLE THAT BIG FLEABAG.
FIRST YOU JUST THINK TOUGH
AND SAY,
"OUTTA MY WAY, FLEABAG."
THEN, YOU SAY THE MAGIC WORD--
"HEATHCLIFF." GOT IT?
- HEATHCLIFF.
- THAT'S THE TICKET, KID.
[LAUGHS]
GO FOR IT.
- OUTTA MY WAY, FLEABAG.
- ME? CLEAR OUTTA THE WAY?
FOR YOU? WHY?
- HEATHCLIFF.
- HEATHCLIFF? [LAUGHS]
HEATHCLIFF?! YIII!
- FOLLOW ME.
- HEATHCLIFF.
- YIKES! WHOA!
- HEY, THIS IS FUN.
LET'S DO IT AGAIN.
- HEATHCLIFF.
- YAAAH!
- [LAUGHS] ONCE MORE
FOR GOOD LUCK.
- HEATHCLIFF!
- YAAAH!
- NO. DON'T SAY IT.
- HEATH
- NOOO!
- [LAUGHTER]
- YOU SEE?
THERE'S NOTHING TO IT.
- NOW, DON'T FORGET, ALL I
TAKES IS THE MAGIC WORD.
[LAUGHS]
- OH, WHAT A CUTIE.
IS THAT YOURS, HEATHIE?
OR ARE YOU BABY-SITTING
THESE DAYS?
[LAUGHS]
- EH, HEATHCLIFF BABY-SITTING?
HA HA HA HA.
- HEY, NO WAY.
BABY-SITTING'S SISSY STUFF
FOR GIRLS AND CREAMPUFFS.
NAW, HEATHCLIFF AIN'
NO CREAMPUFF.
ARE YA, HEATHPUFF--UH, CLIFF?
HA HA HA HA HA HA.
- LET ME TAKE 'EM.
- SUCH FRIVOLITY AT MY EXPENSE
OBVIOUSLY MEANS YOUR ACCIDEN
INSURANCE IS PAID UP, FELLAS.
GOOD IDEA, KID--
YOU STRAIGHTEN UP
THESE HERE MISGUIDED CITIZENS
FOR ME.
[LAUGHS]
JUST CLOSE YOUR EYES
AND SAY THE MAGIC WORD.
[LAUGHS]
- HEATHCLIFF.
- HEATHCLIFF? YIKES!
MOVE OUT, GUYS!
[CATS SCREAMING]
- TAKE THAT.
AND THAT.
- HEY, KID, YOU CAN
OPEN UP YOUR EYES NOW.
[LAUGHS] YOU DID IT AGAIN, KID,
THANKS TO THE MAGIC WORD.
[LAUGHTER]
- YEAH, KID, WE DID
MAKE A GOOD TEAM,
BUT I GOTTA BE MOVING ON NOW.
- MEOW MEOW.
- YEAH. MEOW MEOW
TO YOU, TOO, KID.
AND I HOPE YOU FIND
YOUR MAMA, KID.
I HOPE WE BOTH FIND YOUR MAMA.
HEY, HEY, KID, HEY, WAIT UP.
COME ON, LITTLE GUY.
CHEER UP.
YOUR OLD BUDDY HEATHCLIFF
WON'T LET YOU DOWN.
UM, NOW HOW ABOU
SOME BREAKFAST?
- MEOW! MEOW! MEOW!
- OK. YOU GOT IT.
[WHISTLES]
- HEATHCLIFF?
OOH. YAAA!
PLEASE, HEATHCLIFF,
I GOTTA DELIVER THIS MILK!
- MEOW!
- I GIVE UP.
HERE. HUH?
- MEOW?
- HA HA.
I JUST CAN'T WIN!
- COME TO THINK OF IT,
[SLURPING] I'M FAMISHED, TOO.
GO AHEAD, KID.
HELP YOURSELF.
- [SLURPING]
[GULPING]
AHH.
[BURP]
- [GULP] SO MUCH FOR BREAKFAST.
FEEL BETTER, KID?
- MEOW.
[BURP]
- COME ON, SON, UH, KID.
WE GOTTA GO FIND YOUR MAMA.
WE'VE BEEN SEARCHING
FOR HOURS, KID.
WHAT SAY WE TAKE A BREAK?
- MEOW!
- YOU WANNA LOOK UP? WHERE?
HEY, COME BACK HERE.
I'LL STILL FIND YOUR MAMA.
OH, NO, THE TRAFFIC.
I GOTTA STOP HIM.
HEY, COME BACK, KID!
- OH, GOODNESS, IT'S MY BABY.
I'VE GOT TO CATCH HIM.
[HORNS HONKING]
- MEOW!
[HORN HONKING]
- KID! STAY PUT!
I'LL SAVE YOU!
LOOK OUT!
- HUH? I THINK I SAW WHAT I SAW,
BUT I DON'T BELIEVE IT.
- WHEW. IT'S TIMES LIKE THIS
WHEN 9 LIVES CAN COME IN HANDY.
OH, NO.
HE'S OFF AGAIN.
YIKES! COME ON, PAWS.
DON'T FAIL ME NOW.
- OH, MY BABY, AND THA
CATNAPPER'S STILL AFTER HIM.
- HEY, KID, STAY AWAY
FROM THE EDGE.
- MEOOOW!
- STAY PUT, KIDDO!
- MEOW.
- I'LL BE RIGHT DOWN TO GET YOU.
OH, NO.
MAKE IT BACK UP TO GET YOU.
BOY, I HOPE IT'S TRUE THAT CATS
ALWAYS LAND ON THEIR FEET.
HANG ON, KIDDO.
WE'LL MAKE IT.
THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY.
AND THERE IT IS NOW.
I--HANG ON, SON.
WE'RE GOING FOR A SPIN.
[LAUGHS]
PERFECT. JUST WHAT WE NEED.
THIS SURE BEATS WALKING.
UH-OH. YIII!
- WHEEE!
- THERE'S GOTTA BE
AN EASIER WAY.
OOOH!
OWWW!
COMING IN FOR A LANDING.
OOPS!
- WHOA!
- WE'RE GOING TO MAKE IT.
HERE WE GO.
- MEOW.
MEOW.
- TOMORROW, WE'LL FIND
YOUR MAMA, KID,
BUT, UH, UNTIL THEN,
I'LL TAKE CARE
OF YOU LIKE MY OWN.
SURE, UH, SON.
I'LL EVEN BE YOUR PAPA
UNTIL THEN.
[LAUGHS]
THIS BETTER BE IMPORTANT.
- IS THIS
THE HEATHCLIFF RESIDENCE?
- WHO WANTS TO KNOW?
- I DO, YOU CATNAPPER.
WHERE'S MY BABY?
- LET ME EXPLAIN.
- THERE, THERE, BABYKINS.
MAMA WILL PROTECT YOU FROM THA
NASTY OLD KITTEN-NAPPER.
- I'M NOT A KITTEN-NAPPER, LADY.
IT'S THIS WAY--
- HUSH! DON'T SAY ANOTHER WORD,
OR I'LL REALLY GET MAD.
- YE-YE-YES, MA'AM.
PHEW! I NEARLY LOS
10 OF MY 9 LIVES FOR THAT KID,
BUT I'D DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.
[LAUGHING]
- MEOW.
I LOVE YOU, HEATHCLIFF!
- THE FEELING'S MUTUAL, KID.
- IF YOU'RE IN THERE,
YOU'RE REALLY GOING TO
GET IT NOW, YOU--
YOU KITTEN-NAPPER!
- UH, THERE'S NOBODY
HERE BUT US CATS.
- MEOW.
[LAUGHTER]
- AND ACCORDING
TO THE FISHING BUREAU,
THE SHORTAGE OF FISH
IN THE IMMEDIATE VICINITY
WILL HOPEFULLY CHANGE
IN THE NEAR FUTURE.
SO HANG IN THERE, FISH LOVERS.
- [GROWLING]
I WANT SOME FISH NOW!
- IF MY TUMMY COULD MAKE A WISH,
IT WOULD BE FOR HECTOR
TO BRING US LOTS OF TASTY FISH.
- YEAH. WHAT'S TAKING HIM
SO LONG?
I'M SO HUNGRY,
I COULD EAT A WHALE.
- HERE I COME,
AND I GOT US A FISHY
JUST LIKE I PROMISED.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
- WHERE'S THEM FISH?
[GROWLS]
THAT DOES IT!
IT'S TIME WE TURNED TO SOMEBODY
WITH BRAINS FOR HELP.
LET'S GO SEE PROFESSOR FLICKS.
IF ANYBODY CAN HELP US,
IT'S HIM.
- I HEAR YOU CATS BEEN GOING
HUNGRY ON ACCOUNT OF THERE
BEING NO FISHIES AROUND.
WELL, OUT OF THE GOODNESS
OF MY HEART,
I'M GIVING YOU SOME
OF MY DELICIOUS VITTLES.
- [SNIFFING]
BLECCH!
BURY IT!
- BLAH!
- HEY! THIS IS GOOD FOOD!
- THANKS, LEROY, BUT WE CATS
DO HAVE A STANDARD TO MAINTAIN.
- [GROWLING]
- HEY! PROFESSOR!
- YIKES!
[GERMAN ACCENT]
ACH! IT'S YOU, RIFF RAFF.
HOW NICE OF YOU TO VISIT ME.
UND THIS MUST BE YOUR FRIENDS
FROM THE JUNKYARD.
I BET YOU'RE ALL VERY HUNGRY
AND WOULD LIKE SOME FISH, NO?
- YES.
- YES, YES.
- YES.
- YES, YES.
- FOLLOW ME.
- OH, BOY!
WE'RE GOING TO EAT!
- WITH THIS NEW INVENTION, NO
CAT WILL EVER GO HUNGRY AGAIN.
THIS MOMENT WILL
GO DOWN IN HISTORY!
I GIVE YOU
THE VICKS FISH TRUMPET.
- HUH?
- LOOK OUT, FISHIES.
HERE WE COME.
- FIRST, I OBTAIN
ZE RIGHT FREQUENCY.
THE VIBRATIONS MADE
BY THE FREQUENCY WILL MAKE
THE FISH SWIM THIS WAY.
[PLAYING TRUMPET]
TA-DA!
- OK, LITTLE FISHIES,
COME TO HECTOR.
HERE, FISHY, FISHY.
- HA HA!
HERE, FISHY, FISHY.
- OH!
- [LAUGHS]
OH!
- IT WORKS!
IT WORKS!
I'M A GENIUS!
MY FRIENDS, LET'S EAT.
- [SNORING]
- [SNORING]
- UND WHOEVER HAS
THE FISHIES HAS THE POWER.
- LONG LIVE KING HECTOR!
- YEAH--GIVER OF FISHIES.
- HUH?
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
AW, YOU TWO JUST RUINED
THE MOST BEAUTIFUL DREAM
I EVER HAD.
- IT'S TIME TO JAM, MY MAN.
- NOW, WHAT IF I MADE
MY DREAM A REALITY?
IMAGINE THE POSSIBILITIES!
UH, BY THE WAY,
WHERE'S RIFF RAFF?
- UH, HE'S STILL ASLEEP.
- PERFECT! BECAUSE
I GOT THIS IDEA.
NOW ALL I NEED IS THAT TRUMPET.
YAH!
- I HOPE THIS NEW INVENTION
DID NOT SCARE THA
FELLOW TOO MUCH.
- [SNORING]
[RING RING]
[YAWNING]
[PLAYING TRUMPET]
HELLO THERE,
MY LITTLE FISHIES.
I LIKE BEING THE BOSS.
HEY, YOU GUYS, HELP ME!
- THE SITUATION IS OUT OF HAND.
WE MUST STOP HECTOR
BEFORE ALL THE FISH ARE GONE.
- NO PROBLEM.
WHAT'S THIS DO?
- NEIN!
WHOA!
- HECTOR, WE'RE BORED OUT HERE.
- YEAH. WE WANT TO GO
BACK TO OUR SHACK.
- YEAH. WHY DON'T YOU
COME WITH US?
- NAW. I'LL HANG AROUND HERE.
AFTER ALL, HERE I'M KING.
- COME ON.
LET'S GET GOING.
- UH-UH.
BOY, IT'S LONELY AT THE TOP.
- FINALLY BACK
ON COURSE, OF COURSE.
- THERE HE IS WITH MY TRUMPET.
WE MUST GET IT BACK.
- HIYA, HECTOR,
YOU OLD BANANA.
- THEY'RE NOT GOING
TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM ME.
THE TRUMPET'S MINE.
GO AWAY, RIFF RAFF!
- ONE THING ABOUT HECTOR--
HE'S ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE ME.
- NOT AGAIN!
I MUST INVENT A WAY
TO GET BACK THAT TRUMPET!
WITH THIS DISGUISE,
I WILL SNEAK THE TRUMPE
AWAY FROM HECTOR
UND CHANGE THE FREQUENCY.
FAREWELL, MY FRIENDS.
SEE YOU SOON.
I JUST REMEMBERED.
I CANNOT SWIM!
- OH, BROTHER!
- ONCE MORE, THEN BACK TO
THE JUNKYARD, MY FAVORITE PLACE.
[PLAYING TRUMPET]
- PLEASE GIVE ME THAT TRUMPET!
- WELL, IT WAS FUN
WHILE IT LASTED.
- HIYA, HECTOR.
- HIYA, HECTOR.
- BOY, AM I GLAD
TO SEE YOU GUYS.
- THERE! I'VE CHANGED
THE FREQUENCY.
THE TRUMPET IS
NOW JUST A TRUMPET.
- YIKES! LOOK!
AW, IT'S ALL MY FAULT.
I'M SORRY I WAS A BAD KITTY.
I'LL BE GOOD.
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED
TO BE A VEGETARIAN.
HONEST.
- ANY LAST MINUTE
SUGGESTIONS, PROFESSOR?
- THERE IS ONE CHANCE.
THE SHARKS, THEY HATE BAD MUSIC.
DRIVES THEM CUCKOO-NUTS.
- THEY HATE BAD MUSIC!
OK, YOU BANANAS, LET'S COOK.
AND A-ONE, TWO,
YOU KNOW WHAT TO DO.
- [MEOWING OFF-KEY]
- [YOWLING]
- THEY ARE RUNNING AWAY!
SHEESH! THAT'S
SOME AWFUL MUSIC THERE!
- [SINGING OFF-KEY]
- I THINK THE TRUMPE
MAKES A BETTER HORN, DON'T YOU?
[HONK]
- TAKE CARE, PROFESSOR.
- BYE-BYE.
- GOOD-BYE, MEIN FRIENDS.
COME UND VISIT ME ANYTIME.
- HMM. WONDER IF THAT HORN
WILL ATTRACT ANYTHING ELSE.
[RUMBLING]
- YEOW!
- [BARKING]
- NEVER GIVE YOUR DOG
AN OLD SHOE TO CHEW ON
UNLESS YOU WANT HIM TO EA
YOUR NEW SHOES AS WELL,
BECAUSE HE WON'
KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.
AND AFTER A WHILE,
NEITHER WILL YOU.
- HEATHCLIFF, HEATHCLIFF,
NO ONE SHOULD ♪
TERRIFY THEIR NEIGHBORHOOD
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
PLAYING PRANKS ON EVERYONE
THE GANG WILL REIGN SUPREME
AND NO ONE CAN DENY-Y-Y-Y
THEY'LL MAKE SOME HISTORY
AND ALWAYS HAVE AN ALIBI
SO JOIN IN THE JUBILEE
THE CATS ARE GREAT,
THEY'LL ALL AGREE ♪
OH OH OH OH OH OH OH OH
BUT HEATHCLIFF
JUST WON'T BE UNDONE ♪
YOU SHOULD REALIZE
HE CAN WIN IT WITH YOU