Heels (2021) s02e03 Episode Script


[ACE] Previously on Heels
Violence sometimes
suggests a deeper issue
going on with a child.
It's a miracle we got
out of that meeting
with them agreeing to
let Thomas back in school.
They wanted us to
acknowledge punching as wrong.
Punching isn't always wrong.
Mr. Jack Spade!
[STACI] I'm sorry to
burden you with this.
You're my friend, not a burden.
You can stay here as long as you want.
My name is Crystal Tyler.
And I am the baddest
- bitch
the DWL has ever seen.
- [CROWD] Crystal!
- Yeah!
[BOBBY] Congrats again, superstar.
- So why are you here?
- Ace?
Suits from up north
sent me to scout him.
He's not gonna leave
what we're building.
I've been calling Ace since last night.
[CAROL] He's gone.
[ACE] I'd like the restroom key, please.
[CLERK] Got to buy something.
I got Coke, Cherry Coke.
Stick them all up your ass, sir.
[DINER] Let me buy you a meal, partner.
Go find some other runaway
to make s'mores with.
[CLERK] If you're hiking
and camping Dover Springs,
- I hope you're all geared up.
- I was just gonna wear these.
[CLERK] You're gonna hike in soccer
shoes? It's pretty rough terrain.

[SINGER] I'm not waiting for ♪
The answer ♪

I will ♪
Walk in the shore ♪
To find you ♪
To find ♪
The peace that's your own ♪
Where you come from ♪
All that you want ♪

One that's your own ♪
Place to call home ♪
Won't be ♪
Granted ♪
What is fair in love ♪
Is fair in war ♪

What is fair in love ♪
Is fair in war ♪
One ♪
To one ♪
What's love ♪
In war? ♪

[YOUNG CAROL] Keep stirring, Jack.
Eddie Earl's coming to
dinner to maybe invest
in Daddy's wrestling league.
This cake is our way of saying "please."
"Please" sounds better with cake.
I got a good feeling about this.
[YOUNG TOM] Great.
Hope your good feelings turn into money.
You stole a piece of cake.
- [YOUNG JACK] No, I didn't.
- Don't be sinning
twice at once stealing and lying.
- Move it.
- You said I could have a piece.
After Eddie had his! Pants down!
- [YOUNG JACK] I'm sorry, Mommy.
- Too late for sorry. Pants down!

- [CRYING] Aah!
- The hell's going on?
- He stole a piece of cake, then lied!
I won't be mother to a liar.
Eddie's due any second, Carol!
You're unreal.
[EDDIE] You got the sponsorship, Tom!
This is gonna be great for
the whole town of Duffy.
[TOM] It's the start of
something great, Eddie.
- [CAROL] Bye. Thank you!
Eddie Earl's giving us some money!
Daddy is so happy.
Now, Jack, a mommy's job is
to show her son how to behave.
"Chasten thy son while there is hope,
and let not thy soul
spare for his crying."
Proverbs 19:18.
You became a better person today.
I'll get some cream for your boo-boos.

[TV ANNOUNCER] Thirty-six
hours of steady rainfall
have left many homeless
in the Metro area,
knee-deep in flood waters.
[CAROL] Put my phone down.
You gonna use the
landline till I find Ace.
Ace don't wanna be found.
This is Dad's belt.
And I wear it sometimes
to remind me to not be you.
I been thinking a lot
about you, how you behaved.
[CAROL] Well, boo-hoo.
Now, give me my phone.
Ace needs to be left alone.
You don't know what Ace
needs any more than I do.
Know this though if me and
Ace end up killing each other,
you will have played a big part in why.

[GROANS] Ohh Oh ah!
[GROANING] Ah ah! Shit.
ohh fuck!
- [BOBBY] One more.
[CRYSTAL] I can't.
[BOBBY] I disagree. Come on.
[BOBBY] Here we go.
Push. Come on.
- [GROANS] Uhh
- Yes!
- Nice.
- Okay.
- Look great.
- Yeah. Thanks for
pushing me to dig deep.
In that case, one more set.
You're a good son,
Deandre, buying me this bed.
Too generous.
Oh, look, Pops, now that
I'm the champ at Dystopia,
I make this in a day.
Yeah. I worry about you
in that car crash wrestling
they do at Dystopia.
You'd never catch Rocky Johnson
using barbed wire to beat a man.
- Do it with his bare hands.
- Ha ha. Look, Pops.
I got this. Look, I'm gonna go work out.
Now, you text me if you
invite a lady over here
to break in your new bed.
I'ma need the heads up.
- Okay.
- Okay? [LAUGHING]
- All right, son.
- All right, now listen.
- I know how loud you can get.

Let's rip this fart together.
Hell yeah. [CHUCKLES]
The time has finally come.
He's one of the greatest to
ever step between the ropes,
three-time World Champion,
six-time Tag Team Champion,
the only man to wrestle
three different species
and defeat two of them.
It's the "Wild Bill Hancock" podcast!
Diego Cottonmouth here,
your masked menace luchador, producing.
Bill, you said you wanted to cover
not just wrestling, but life.
You want each episode to be
wide-ranging and estranging.
Diego, my goal is to use the truth
to offend as many people as I can.
[LAUGHS] So, look, lots to discuss,
but your fans got tons of questions,
and they're gonna fast forward
until they get the answers.
So let's talk DWL first.
Folks have had difficulty
following all the swerves
at the DWL lately
Uh, Crystal defeating
both you and Jack Spade.
Defeat's a dubious conclusion.
Well, she has the belt. You do not.
Is that not a defeat?
A setback is not a defeat.
Now, Crystal, in her rise to DWL champ,
had stints as Ace Spade
and Bobby Pin's valet.
[WILD BILL] Correct.
But she re-enlisted as
your valet, Bunny Bombshell.
I saved that lassie from the swamp.
But the moment I was in
need of the very services
a valet renders,
she forgot everything I'd done for her.
The only reason she can
hang with the big boys
is 'cause I taught Crystal Tyler
everything she knows!
Now she's proving herself
worthy to learn the rest of it
in the opposing corner of the ring.
I don't care if you're a
man, woman, or alien species.
You step through those
ropes and cross The Bill,
you're gonna get the
horns. Life is long.
[LAUGHING] Yessir.
Tell us what occurred at the
State Fair with Charlie Gully then.
My sense of honor occurred!
Gully crashed our event. I took umbrage.
[DIEGO] Yeah. Y-you claimed
you had a bout of, uh,
involuntary digestive distress.
[WILD BILL] I've stated facts.
God created the sphincter so that
shitting, by design, would be voluntary.
The sphincter's a goddamn
damper for the rectum.
Asses don't leak
unless they're poisoned!
Yet, despite that, you swallowed
your shame in pursuit of the belt.
I'm a competitor
first, gentleman second.
Charlie Gully attempted to
disrupt an athletic contest.
Once I discovered I had some
accidental excrement pooled
in the seat of my pants,
I made use of it.
[LAUGHING] You threw a clothesline.
And then I shit-stamped his face.
It was as if fate herself proclaimed,
"Here is a man you'd like to eat shit
presenting his mouth as
a fortuitous receptacle."
- Boom!
Lemons into lemonade, kids.
Hey, I'm gonna grab some
Egg McMuffins. You want one?
- No.
- How about for Jack?
- Jack's outta town.
- Till when?
We gotta promote the next
show. Did he give you a script?
No. Just said I was "in charge."
Holy shit! Was he stoned?
Wait, you're in charge?
Yay! Girl power!
I gotta focus.
- A McGriddle 'n' sausage?
- [WILLIE] Go.
[CLIMBER] Watch that one there.
- [CLIMBER] Next leg!
- Hey!
Shit! You okay?!
Sprained my ankle.
You got another line you can toss down?
- Janice!
- What?!
[CLIMBER] There's a guy down here!
Says he might have broke his ankle.
I'll call in a rescue chopper.
No, no, I said I sprained
it! I-it's just a sprain.
A sprain can be worse than a break.
Can you just let me
try to climb up, please?
[CLIMBER] All right,
Janice, no chopper this time.
Just drop down another harness.
Let's help this guy out.
So I was thinking we do
a backstage interview,
a medical update on Wild Bill
after Crystal kicked him into oblivion.
Bill cuts a promo.
- Shifts the blame to the crowd.
- I love it.
We should make Bobby our
backstage roving reporter.
His leg's still healing but he's so
Stiff and robotic.
Done. So Bobby gets Bill's reaction
to all that went down last week.
Crystal won is what went down.
- [WILLIE] Yes, she did.
- So, Bill tells the crowd how tough you are,
but then he calls you a piece of shit
so that he can bring it
all back around later,
saying, "All that nice
stuff I said about you before
is just gonna make beating
your ass all the more sweet!"
And you don't need to give me my due.
I took it!
It's going in.
Willie, is Ace doing all right?
Right now, Ace is just a blinking dot
on his mother's phone
somewhere not here.
Could be two towns over,
could be Tallahassee.
The only thing that Jack suggested
was that we start off with
your championship celebration.
So I'm thinking you come out on the mic,
you know, "Pound for pound,
I'm the best wrestler there is
in the DWL, and I'm on top
because you all believed in me!"
Really make the crowd feel part of it.
Y'all have taken me this far,
and it's gon' be one hell of a ride
seeing where we go from here
- Together.
- Exactly!
You're the antithesis of
Bill, but we don't wanna see
the two of you mixing it up again
until we string the story out further.
So instead, we have The
Dad interrupting on the mic,
you know, as a sort
of surrogate for Bill,
complaining about a woman
holding a man's title, blah, blah.
Wait, The Dad?
He's he's so nice.
- Dad's a douche.
- Oh, really?
- I didn't know that.
- In the story. Keep up, kid.
I'm sorry. You said it so emphatically.
I've got no idea what
he's like in real life.
I should probably find out
if he's even a real dad.
Ha. Okay. Maybe The Dad
says some shit like,
"You're welcome to become 'The
Stepmom' and do my laundry."
Shit, now I hate The Dad.
Now I wanna see you beat his ass.
Well, why not just whoop
his ass right then and there?
- Why wait?
- [DEBBIE] Roses for Crystal,
the new champ, left outside.
"Secret Admirer."
These are the first flowers for me ever.
Just know that Secret Admirer
might also be a secret serial killer.
Oh, uh, Jack left Willie in charge.
I know. So great, right?
Girl power!
- Girl power!
- Please stop saying that.
Girl power!
[WILD BILL] Hear there's
a new El Jefe in the house!
[BOBBY] Hey! La Jefa! Wilheminia!
Great. Jack's just taking some days off.
Bill, did you just call Willie a heifer?
La Jefa is The Boss in Spanish, Debbie.
Crystal, you gotta check the 'Gram.
You're getting marriage proposals.
Roses too. Secret admirers.
- [WILLIE] Okay. Here's what I'm thinking
- Will, two secs. Gotta send a text.
I don't care, Paula,
whether it's cash,
comma, Bitcoin, comma,
or doubloons, comma get me paid.
And send.
Thank you. Carry on.
Okay. So we're gonna kick
it off with a celebration
- of Crystal's championship
- [BOBBY] Willie, sorry.
- What is a doubloon?
- Ancient Spanish currency.
How ancient, like back when
they bankrolled Columbus?
- [WILLIE] Guys.
- Columbus was a genocidal assassin
hired by racist Spaniards.
[WILD BILL] They're
called Conquistadors,
and they learned that from the Romans.
So, Bill's backstage.
- Bobby, now you're a reporter.
- Cool. Yeah, use me
- how you need me.
- Ooh, Bobby's
- a "free use" guy, folks!
[EDDIE] Hey, hey! Got a surprise.
Follow me!
[WILD BILL] If it's his
dick in a hotdog bun,
I'm grabbing and not letting go.
- [THOMAS] Dad!
- Hey, there's my buddy!
How you doing?
Where'd you go, Dad?
I-I just been at home.
[THOMAS] I miss you.
Can you come get me?
Y-yessir. Yessir.
I just gotta do a
little something first.
Won't be long though.
Could you put your mother
on the phone for a second?
[THOMAS] She's on a run.
Dad, when can I come back to school?
We-we met with the school.
You're no longer suspended.
Mommy said they hadn't decided yet.
I will call your Mom to
clarify we'll-we'll fix it.
[THOMAS] Okay, Dad. Thanks. I love you.
- Love you too, buddy. You stay positive.
- [BEEP]

- Whoa!
- Whoo!
Yeah, look at that,
dude. That looks awesome.
- Surprise!
I kept the secret.
- You did!
- Man, imagine "Call of Duty" on this.
No, no, no. "Mario Kart."
- I call Toad.
- Oh, I call Diddy Kong, so
Diddy Kong hasn't been in
"Mario Kart" since the Wii.
[BOBBY] Yeah, did not know that.
Too generous, Eddie.
Hell yeah. You can watch vignettes,
backstage stuff, interviews.
Totally. Okay, okay.
Back to work, folks!
[BOBBY] We can also have movie nights.
Oh, show 'em the features, honey.
No. Why don't we set that
tutorial up for later?
Oh, no, no. You're gonna love this.
You're gonna wanna see what this can do.
We gotta over what the plan
is. Everyone please shut up!
[WILLIE] Sorry, Annie, it's just
We should have called first.
I am so sorry.
- Jack left Willie in charge.
Oh, well, isn't that just wonderful?
Everything is great.
Just, you know, as usual,
there's a lot to do.
So thank you for this.
We'll put it to good use.
We're so grateful.
Everyone, start warming up.
Bill, may I speak to you
privately for a minute?
Jack is gone. Ace is gone.
I need you to be ring general out there,
not number one Jackass on
the Jackass Most Wanted List.
Help me keep the group focused.
Coach 'em up. Keep 'em disciplined.
- Got it?
- Aye, aye, Kommandant.
Give a jangle if you
need a sounding board.
Good and generous, Earl family.
You must excuse us.
We gotta whip this unit into a shape
worthy enough to be
on your big screen TV.
- Uh, it-it's actually a video wall.
Jim, it appears your life philosophy
is to wait till someone says something,
then make them feel
stupid for saying it.
I'm just trying to tell the truth,
even if it offends someone, Bill!
Ooh, my bro listened to our podcast.
All right, well, we'll let
y'all get to work, kids.
Okay. How about a round of applause
- Yes.
- for Eddie and Annie.
- Whoo!
Okay, Crystal, and Jim the Giant Jesuit,
you're up first. Into the ring.
How much did that cost?
I won't tell anybody.
Bro, 46 people including Big Jim
have already streamed the podcast!
That's so cool, man. You deserve it.
Thanks, man. Yeah, I'm telling you, man,
they gotta start listening
to my ideas around here.
I'm gonna get some graphics templates
for this video wall up our game.
I can help bring this place
to whole new level, bro.
I - I hope they listen to you, man.
- Your genius is untapped.
- Ha ha ha. Yes, it is.
- Oh!
[WILD BILL] Don't worry.
You got two of 'em.
D, hey, uh
when Crystal kissed me at the fair
- Mm-hmm.
- what do you think
- that meant?
- Didn't see it.
- She tongue you?
- No.
Did she suck on your lip?
Like, you know, kinda
clamping down for a second,
then pulling back and making
a very faint popping sound?
- No.
- Did she lean onto your thigh
and kinda, you know, linger there,
perching her entire bodyweight onto you,
centering it with her crotch?
No, it did not happen in the
way that you just described.
Based on all that, no clue.
Ask her what the kiss meant.
How in the heck am I supposed
to ask a question like that?
Well, you just asked
me a question like that.
Ask her the same question.
Bro, she's getting marriage
proposals and flowers
and she's hot as shit
and also very, very cool.
- Mm-hmm.
- It's a miracle she's single.
Make your move.
Her lips have at least touched yours.
It was a kiss on the lips, right?
Don't be fucking telling me it was
- on the forehead or on your cheek.
- Oh, no, no, no. Lips were involved.
- Hers and mine.
- Ha ha ha. Make your intentions known.
If you whiff, on to the next.
- [WILD BILL] Good.
- Uhh!
- [WILD BILL] Good. Knee.
[CRYSTAL] Great. Here we go.
- Whoo!
- Oh!
- [WILD BILL] Yeah!
That is how we do it.
Your Volvo needs an alignment.
I still can't believe you survived.
[HUFFS] I know how to fall.
I was a wrestler.
Professional wrestler.
Ice every 15 minutes.
And next hike, leave
the soccer shoes behind.
Just get yourself some Merrells.
They got 52 million styles.
But don't get cute and buy their clogs.
Clogs are only good
for getting the mail.
Stay a little longer.
We can get high. Fool around.
All of us.
- He must be concussed.
I thought y'all were being nice
'cause you wanted to hook up.
Come on, buddy! Read the room!
Pal, if you interpret being
nice as an invitation to fuck,
you don't know what
being nice looks like.
I misinterpreted the situation.
Yes, you did.
Damn. Be better.

[WILD BILL] Charlie
Gully attempted to disrupt
an athletic contest.
Once I discovered I had
some accidental excrement
pooled in the seat of my
pants, I made use of it.
[DIEGO LAUGHS] You threw a clothesline.
[WILD BILL] And then I
shit-stamped his face.
It was as if fate her
One second, Pop.
Hey, it's Charlie. Leave a message.
Gully, it's Rooster.
We need to meet up.
Someone is talking shit about you.
Gah ohh! Ow!
Anytime you want to switch
beds, Love, just let me know.
I like the air kind.
Dad called while you were running.
He said I can go back to school.
Maybe the school
finished their paperwork.
He said he was home all this time.
You said he was on a trip.
Well, he must have come back early.
Are you and Dad getting divorced?
I want to be home.
It's okay, love.
[THOMAS] It's not.
You said he was on a trip. You lied.
You're not a good mommy
to keep me away from him.
Mister, sit yourself up right now.
You will not say that to Mommy!
You have no idea what
it is to be a mommy!
You can't just say those words
and not have them hurt me.
And you can't say them
thinking they will hurt me
and expect me to just sit here
and take it. You understand?
I'm sorry, Mommy.
I don't wanna be mean. I'm just sad.
I miss Daddy.
I miss him so much.
Hey, y'all.
Everything okay?

[WILD BILL] You did a
good job with this script.
It's all over the place.
[WILD BILL] It's real good.
Can't be great in the first draft.
Jack left you in charge
'cause he trusts you won't
completely fuck it up like I might.
[WILLIE] Don't shit on it
or I'll have to tackle you.
[WILD BILL] That'd be a bad thing?
Uh no, I gotta focus.
So The Dad ragdolls
Crystal through the table.
She'll sell it well. Like it.
We just can't book some bullshit
where she gets to
glow-up without getting
her ass kicked sometimes.
Jack and I thought the same thing.
Keep her down on the farm
so she's got adversity to overcome.
That's what they're paying to see.
Narrative wise, when women
conquer a man's world,
men don't exactly roll over.
No, they go back hard.
But that's what she wanted,
right, to win the belt?
Man had the belt, so to win
the belt she had to fight men.
Whether she deserves it or not, she's
gotta get her face
pushed in a few times.
What do you mean "whether
she deserves it or not"?
Can't say she deserves
to get her face pushed in.
If you get in a boxing ring,
do you deserve or not
deserve to get punched?
Are we saying Crystal was unaware
of the pitfalls of her pursuits?
Okay. So The Dad ragdolls
Crystal through the table.
She's out cold. It's brutal.
But then she stirs.
She needs to sell the pain to the crowd.
Hit all the "-izes."
Let them empathize and realize
and Crystalize her pain.
- Okay.
Hey. I'm working on the next card.
Wow, you're working late, huh?
How long you think you'll be?
I don't know. Jack left me in charge.
I gotta figure it all out
the card, the stories, all of it.
Jack's letting you book matches now?
[WILLIE] Believe me, I know.
Well, Robin needs help writing an essay.
I guess you're the helper.
Ted, if it makes you feel better,
Willie's cooking up probably
one of the best shows
we've ever done.
Hello, Bill.
She's working us all
into overtime, Tedly.
But when the material's
good, you don't mind.
Well, I'll let you two go.
- [BEEP]
"But then she stirs"
Come home, please.
How the fuck you find me?
"Find my Phone" app on Mom's phone.
Mom's tracking me?
You share locations.
You're still in the family plan.
When I die and go to hell,
first thing I'm gonna do
is find Steve Jobs and
beat the fuck outta him.
I hope that's not true.
For you or Steve Jobs.
Unless he was unless he was
mean to his cats or something.
You look kinda banged up.
You're looking kinda "fuck you."
Never again.
Just opted out of Family Sharing.
Now fuck off.
I was hoping that I was
gonna have you at "come home."
Fuck off's just the tip
of the icicle-dick, Jack.
Fuck you with a massive icicle-dick.
- You should call housekeeping.
- You should fuck off.
With an icicle-dick. I heard you.
Was the room this trashed
when you checked in?
Nope. Had a bash.
Been meeting some great
people across the U.S. of A.!
I got some cash on hand
from our last gate receipts.
Figured that if you're gonna
be gone for good, you'd need it.
Stealing from the DWL bank now, huh?
It's hard to steal from what's ours.
Don't say ours. You made
me think it was ours.
It's yours. Dad
bequeathed the DWL to you.
- Because he wanted me cursed.
- Well, cursed my ass.
I seen the buzz building with Crystal.
Without me.
DWL's taking off like you always dreamt.
Yet my brother's in a
Mississippi motel room
- and my wife's near left me.
- Maybe you should ask yourself why.
What the fuck do you think led me here!
Mom's phone.
I'm here, hat in hand,
because I have been thinking about it.
About how to get sympathy.
About my brother.
About how my actions
have affected you
and Staci and Thomas.
"Dear old brother Ace," blah.
"Wife and son," blah.
Heard it all before, Jack!
This is not going how I expected.
'Cause you're not scripting it.
I'm not just gonna say
- what you want me to.
- I kno I know all that.
I need to say something,
and then I will leave.
May I sit?
[CLEARS THROAT] When Bill came to you
with that big-time contract offer,
I was stunned.
I wasn't.
Not because I don't
realize how great you are,
but because I'd come to rely
on your talent, your persona.
It was dynamic.
DWL was working.
And I could see our
shared future together.
And then Bill showed up
with a golden ticket just for you.
I was not prepared for that.
You were gonna take
your talents elsewhere.
Just like LeBron, motherfucker.
When that happened,
that that threw me.
I guess it kinda
I-I I don't guess.
It knocked me down, and I was gutted.
Then I was embarrassed that, uh
that I wasn't offering
up congratulations to you.
And whether that was
desperation or envy
- [ACE] Both.
- What I am sure of is that I
Humiliated me.
I used what I knew as your brother,
things only a brother would know
to push your buttons.
That, you did.
Then instead of owning up to
that, like a decent person
I told myself it was for your own good.
Dad killing himself fucked me up.
More than I care to admit.
More than I thought.
I loved him so much.
I hated him so much.
And I glossed over all that
'cause I couldn't change it.
The love, the hate.
The way he was, the way he wasn't.
The way he went out.
You and me are trying to
survive after finding out
that Spade men aren't
supposed to survive.
We're supposed to come home
and blow our heads off on the back porch
and let our sons clean us up.
My God.
That's terrible.
Jack, that's
I am truly sorry
for the way that I've treated you.
Please come home.
Give me a chance to be
a great brother to you.
You were never a bad big brother.
Only lately.
I'm not a good guy who
deserves a great brother anyway.
I'm a shit heap all on my own.
[JACK] No, you're not.
Then you don't know me very well.
I know the heart of you.
Good uncle, teammate, friend.
Jack, I'm not a good guy.
Farthest thing from it.
These people loved you
before I turned you Heel.
Let me help make it right.
Jack, you know what I
realized on this trip?
After several disturbing
I'm not good at making new friends.
I haven't made a new friend in years.
Making friends was never hard
because I was always part of a team.
I had, like, instafriends,
guys I met through sports.
Everyone kind of had to be my friend.
- That's not true.
- Don't tell me that.
I do bad shit.
I say dumb things. I do dumb things.
I broke Bobby's leg.
I left the DWL because
no one really likes me.
I'm gone because any other promotion
would have run me outta town.
We're not any other promotion.
[ACE] But the worst thing I've done
the worst thing I've done
is I told you you were
gonna stay in Duffy
and kill yourself like Dad.
It's forgotten.
I'm reminding you.
I'm that guy.
I'm the guy who said that.
What kind of guy says
that to his brother?
It's in the past. Don't matter.
Everything that came to
me after that statement,
I set in motion.
That's not true.
Yes, it is.
And yeah, yeah,
you were kinda dick-ish about the belt,
but I didn't have to say that.
And yet I did.
And I did it because I'm a selfish fuck
who was praised his
whole life for sports.
And now that sports are over,
I don't know what the fuck
to do when I don't get it.
I'm gonna go out and get us some food.
I'm not coming home, Jack.

Lord, please help me.
Please help me.
I need help, Lord.
You know where you're going next?
Some wonderful, unknown
place called "Not Duffy."
I dunno. Due West?
That's what they say, right?
"Go West, young man.
You're not getting younger."
Sometimes I think about Dad
And if he's happier dead.
You ever wonder if it's like
worse? What comes after this life?
I'm just focused on this life.
I think the thing that made
Dad a sad man is that
he wanted something he never got.
And it made him sad and mean.
I don't want something
so much like being famous
that I become sad and mean.
The only thing that keeps
me going is not that I think
that this life's gonna be better, but
that what comes after
we die might be worse.
I made life hard on you.
I shouldn't have.
I'm really sorry.
Thanks for coming all the
way out here, Jack, really.
If you ever feel bad
about how things went down,
just [SIGHS]
let it go.
It's forgiven. For reals.
I care about you so very much.
I see that.
For gas money and the room damage.

- [CRYSTAL] Put me down you big oaf.
- Come on. Come on. Over!
- [CRYSTAL] Help!
- [DIEGO] Fuck you, Cottonmouth.
- [CRYSTAL] Aah!
Hey, Willie, I've been
working on my reporter voice.
[WILLIE] Which sucks. Diego.
Tell me why you're doing the
move I scripted for The Dad.
[BIG JIM] I told y'all.
I just thought me ragdolling Crystal
might be more unexpected.
For who, me?
'Cause I was up till
2:00 working on that shit.
I just thought you'd
maybe like this better.
- It's totally my fault.
- It's not totally your fault.
The fault is all of yours
for not doing what I wrote.
Would you do this to Jack?
Huh? I don't think so.
[DEBBIE] Hey, y'all gotta watch this.
- [WILLIE] No, Debbie. Not now.
- Willie, I mean it.
[REPORTER] If you're just
joining us, shocking video
has surfaced of NFL
linebacker Chris DeLeo
assaulting his wife.
[REPORTER] The football
star ragdolling his wife
follows a disturbing trend of athletes
and domestic violence,
including all-star
shortstop Joe Kwitkowski
caught punching his girlfriend
at a Las Vegas casino.
White House Press
Secretary Millicent Burgin
had this comment moments ago.
[MILLICENT] The President
condemns the current wave
of violence as highlighted by the rash
of pro athletes caught
on camera pummeling women.
This Saturday, he and the First Lady
will lead a call-to-action
march on the National Mall
in an effort to wipe out
this national scourge.
protests have begun to
form outside the headquarters
of the NFL and MLB.
When we come back, red wine,
superfood or super poison?
Y'all take the rest of the day.
Turn that shit off.
[WILD BILL] And then I
shit-stamped his face.
Oh, they fuckin' with you, Charlie,
and they fuckin' with your business.
- Wild Bill has a lotta fans.
- [WILD BILL] Boom!
Yeah, they're having a nice laugh.
They think they're funny, guys.
- Yeah, I can be funny.
- Very.
I can be funny, too.

[CRYSTAL] "Winning this title is by far
the greatest moment in my life.
A life that hasn't been too full of 'em.
When I won that strap,
I was on top of the world
and y'all helped put me there.
- Hey, you.
We're supposed to take
the rest of the day off.
I was just thinking about how things
might go when Willie and Jack talk.
Just wanted to walk through
some stuff I was thinking.
[BOBBY] Makes sense. You think
they're gonna, you know, maybe
- Change things up?
- Yeah.
Yeah. I
I get why.
Yeah, it's like, you know,
when a big tornado devastates a town.
No one wants to watch a tornado movie.
Hmm. Yeah.
I just I just want to wrestle.
I can't tell people what
things can mean or should mean
or how whatever they're
watching means what it means.
You wanna get something to eat?
Yeah. Sure.
Crystal, I gotta ask you something.
Yes, I was afraid
Diego was gonna drop me.
- [BOBBY] No.
Uh, did it mean anything when
you kissed me at the fair?
Saying good night?
I thought I felt certain, uh,
a certain something extra.
Tch. Uh
Not really.
Okay then. Yeah, it's, uh,
Sorry to have asked.
I guess you can't really help it if
you're naturally really good at it.
When it means something
this is how I kiss.
- Any other questions?
- Nope.
Now if you don't mind, after dinner,
we should probably just
go to our neutral corners.
Cool down.
Sure. Yeah.
I'm just gonna kiss you
one more time first, though.
Sounds good to me.

Found him.
He's not coming back.
Sorry, Jack.
He's going West.
Where, not sure.
How's things here?
You haven't seen the news?
I've been calling you,
texting you, nothing.
- Uh-uh.
- Okay.
All right, well, we
need a women's division.
It's time.
- Okay.
- Okay. So here, here's what I think we do.
I think we bring in some
stringers for a while.
Women, you know, we can't have Crystal
getting beat on each week
by every man on our roster.
And vice versa, she can't
run through everyone.
It's a nice little story,
we've pulled it off this far.
But it's not sustainable for business.
You all right?
Look, there's a reason your
dad didn't want Ace doing this.
He didn't think he was built for it.
He did think it was for you.
Last couple days have
been good for me though.
You know, I think I really found
some story areas that we can write
toward, that we can keep exploring.
I'm excited about where we can go.
Just sorry we had to
pivot a bit with Crystal.
She's really something, Jack.
I don't want to talk about Crystal.
rethinking everything.
See you later.
How in the hell did you get in here?!
[ROOSTER] Still got my key.
You should really get a keypad, Jack.
[GULLY] We had trouble
working the spotlight at first.
But luckily my cousin
Paul spent a summer
touring with Billy Squire.
What was Squire's hit song again, Paul?
- "Stroking"?
- "Stroke Me!"
Get off my property. Now.
Turnabout's fair play, Jack.
You came on my property,
now I'm on yours.
I thought about sticking one of those
big red bows they put
on new cars on myself,
but that seemed like overkill.
Big boy, I'm here to give props.
I thought you'd painted yourself
into a corner at the State Fair.
But uh, you booked your
way right out of that.
I mean, Crystal. Wow, my hat is off.
- Literally.
- Very nice of you
to drive all this way
just to put me over.
I want both of us to get
over. I got a big heart.
It's time we did a cross-promotion.
Your guys against my guys,
one ring, red rover red rover.
People go nuts. We get rich.
No, thank you.
Leave your key on the way out.
[GULLY] A smart man, a man
with dreams and obligations,
stops walking for a
second and hears me out.
Would that get you on your way faster?
Think about it.
I got your expat Rooster
here on my payroll.
You decided to fuck with
me and punch me three times.
That crime is the most viewed
video on Dystopia's Instagram.
Bill and his big hairy fuck buddy Diego
started talking shit about
me on their brand new podcast.
Now I wanna beat their brains in.
All of this is "free story," Jack,
the most precious
commodity in our business.
Jack, you know I was the
best on the DWL roster,
and you can get all of this back.
At least for a couple of cards.
- Fuck you, Deandre.
- Ha ha ha.
Fuck you, Jack.
You fucking with my money when
you fucking with Dystopia.
Oh, listen, all of you
were fucking with me.
I went down to Florida
to get my brother.
Come clean, Charlie.
You were poaching Ace.
Poaching Ace just like
you poached Rooster.
Don't use the poach on me
like I'm some fucking animal.
Or an egg.
Look, Jack, I just offered
a couple guys a job. Okay?
Everyone is very tense
with being fucked with.
But here's the thing, we
live in an extraordinary time.
The meaning of "fuck with" has changed.
The meaning of "fuck with" has evolved.
How's it go again Rooster?
If I "fuck with" somebody,
it used to be bad.
Now it can be good.
So, if "I fucks with you," then we good.
So I wanna take the old definition,
"You fucked with me,"
bad, and turn it into,
"I fucks with you," good.
Am I getting it right, Rooster?
Oh, you're a quick learner, Gully.
Yeah, well, young people keep me young.
Jack, there's money lying on the floor.
And all we gotta do is
bend over and pick it up.
Not interested.
Jack, I'm here with an olive branch.
Shove it up your ass.
That's not a nice thing to say.
That's not a nice thing
to do with an olive branch.
When someone presents
you with a peace offering,
especially a potentially lucrative one,
you should treat it with some affection,
not tell a guy to jam it up his bum.
Would you take my olive
branch out of my bum, Jack?
That way we can have peace,
profit, and by the way,
we can have olives. You
like olives, Rooster?
Jack don't. Ha ha.
So maybe we should just
go on ahead and go home.
That's a great idea.
Get the fuck on your way.
Okay, Jack, I guess the time for smokin'
the peace pipe is over. [WHISTLES]
What in the hell is happening?
How many people you
got hiding around here?
Jack, this fireplug of a man
is my attorney Sam Burphy.
He practices in Florida and Georgia,
but he especially enjoys
Georgia because he says
it's like fish in a barrel up here.
Sick 'em, Counselor.
This is personal injury litigation
pursuant to you trespassing
onto petitioner's property
and punching petitioner in the face.
Yeah. You can't do that, Jack.
That's assault and battery.
And that's against the law.
My body is my body.
I have a right to its safety.
You violated it.
I lost a crown, I lost
the feeling in my jaw,
and I also lost about $3 million
worth of personal credibility.
[SAM] You've been served.
- I'm so good at that.
- Mm-hmm.
[ROOSTER] Ah-ah-ah,
Jack. Paul's recording.
Also, an officer of the
court is present, me.
So one punch under these circumstances
will secure petitioner's victory
and bring on a second lawsuit,
which petitioner will also win.
Let me stick my chin
out there for you, Jack.
Go ahead. No?
All right, slugger, very good.
You seem to fancy yourself
a master storyteller.
Well, tell me a story about a man
who thinks he can punch
people without consequence.
That story is not this story.
But in the spirit of
burying the hatchet,
you get to decide what
the consequence will be.
You help me restore my honor in the ring
with a cross-promotion
between the DWL and Dystopia
or I hit you back and
take everything you got.
It is not for me to ask you
why the consequences of punching me
never occurred to you.
Maybe they did, and you dismissed them.
Not smart.
So you decide if you
wanna take the olive branch
out of my bum and work together
or if you wanna watch me take
every goddamn dollar you make
for the rest of your goddamn life.
I look forward to hearing from you.
All right, everybody, back on the bus.

Can't believe you found me.
I care about you.
We shared a lot.
How's that? Tender?
[ACE] Yeah, a little.
Thought about you today.
You look different.
How so?
You didn't have any clothes on.
- Aah!
That's for Bobby, motherfucker!
Payback time! Get him!
What the fuck are you doing?!
Fucking you up!
Say again, Mr. Spade?
Oh, he said, "Hold it together, Ace!"
I named you Ace because
you're aces, Ace.
Number one! I warned you
don't give up the fight!
Compete! Compete!
[ECHOING] Compete!
Oh, shit.
It's so sexist that we
can't have male wrestlers
beating on female
wrestlers because people
get upset when they see
real men beat real women.
I mean, okay, fine.
But how come they
can't separate the two?
I, me, the Debs, know Crystal
getting punched in the face
is pretend, for my entertainment,
just like when it happens
to Jack or Diego or Bill.
I said this exact thing to Bobby.
Why can't people find it cool that a man
twice the size of Crystal is
launching her across the room?
She's a character. She's not dead, okay?
She has the belt. We're
gonna make sure she wins.
We just don't want it to
look implausible every second.
She needs something to fight against.
You show me a woman who doesn't
have to fight against men.
You can't. [WHISPERING] It's so sexist!
And the heck with the women
who can't handle watching it.
I'm so sick of estrogen
and fragile female egos.
Not sure it's fragility or estrogen.
It might just be people not wanting
to be thinking about bad stuff
while they're being entertained.
That might be it too.
- What do I know?
Is it too late to say sorry?
I'm sorry I put the DWL first.
And I'm sorry that I
haven't been the best me.
I'm sorry I kept your son from you.
I'm sorry.
I'm I'm sorry too.
I love you so much.
I love you.
He missed you.

- Want Mama's bacon?
- Yes, please.
Thank you very much.
Uh, Mom doesn't want me home.
Can I stay here?
[THOMAS] Uncle Ace!
Of course.
[THOMAS] I missed you.
Hey, dude.

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