Hellfjord (2012) s01e03 Episode Script

Episode 3

Something's fishy.
Yes, the deceased is from Iceland.
80% of his phone calls
were to the county prison.
Kobba, I'll go undercover
at the county prison.
This is crucial: don't tell anyone.
I'm the only one here who knows
that you are a policeman.
Message to all inmates:
We have a new warden.
Stålnacke takes over
as new warden at 12 o'clock.
That is: Now.
Guard! I have to see the .warden.
Guard! Must see the warden now!
B 23 B. Sit down.
-Yes, please.
No sugar or cream.
As I'm new here, I had to
acquaint myself with your case.
I see in your file
that you're a neo Nazi.
You're serving time for 22 murders,
1 aircraft hijacking and 16 bank robberies.
Not bad, eh?
I expected you'd understand it.
You're a policeman police director lady
police director warden
I'll start at the beginning.
I am a policeman.
My name is Nesbit Salmander, and I work
as undercover policeman here at Solvik.
-I'm here to find the Icelander.
I expect you have someone who can
confirm the veracity of all this?
Yes. Kobba.
-Just call Kobba, he'll confirm everything.
Kobba in Hellfjord.
Acting district sheriff.
He's probably right by the phone,
awaiting your call.
Yes, hi, can you put me through
to Hellfjord police station?
-How do you do, this is Gerd Stålnacke
from Solvik county prison.
We have an inmate by the name
of Nesbit Salmander,
and he claims
to be a police sergeant at
your police station in Hellfjord.
Could you be so kind as to confirm this?
No, I know nothing.
Great to get that settled.
Fellow colleague,
I like your hair
That's surely
I don't know where you're from.
Sit when I speak, little friend.
But I do know what I don't like.
Oprah, children's TV,
belly dance and brownies.
You're going straight back to your cell.
I will make your stay very interesting.
My useless man will eat
your cell door key and never shit it out.
-Get this Persian rug out of here.
-Just talk to Kobba. Kobba!
It's a misunderstanding,
Kobba is the acting sheriff in Hellfjord.
You have two minutes.
Hi, this s Kobba. Sorry, I cant answer
the phone right now, so just
So just
Shut up!Silence!Be quiet!
Riina! Get that mongrel out
before I shoot her in the head.
Fucking dog bastard! Go!
Anyway, so
Yes, sojust leave a message
after the beep, and
I'll possibly take it from there,
perhaps one calls you back.
-Hi, Kobba, it's
-Fuck it, what
Riina, where's the phone booklet?
Okay, it's right in front of me,
let's see now
Change the dust bag
Well, kiss my fucking pecker,
this is for the vacuum cleaner!
Kobba, it's Salmander
Time's up.
-Just an answering machine.
-We go by the book. Leave.
Can I get more gravy?
Use your ball.
Learn Norwegian.
Nobody understands that crazy
Icelandic gibberish.
B 23 B
Serial killer und nazischwein.
Fuck off!
And you're?
Sieg heil, boys.
Sieg heil!
OK, forget it.
Meet up at the john
tomorrow at noon.
Goddamn, Kobba!
Yes Life In The Wild.
So it's a magazine.
I see.
And you want me to subscribe to it?
Is it tax deductible?
Yes. No.
So you haven't got
Life In The Wild Crotch?
Not insane at all.
You're the least insane person I know.
Let's enjoy ourselves, Rolf.
We could watch that movie we made
when mum as away.
Shall we?
Make popcorn and enjoy ourselves.
Have a real good time.
Just you and
you and daddy. Yes.
Be cozy.
We could take a bath.
Think you need a wash.
I think so.
Think you need it.
Look forward to it? Rolf?
Still got time.
What kind of bird is it?
No idea.
-How are you?
The new guys are eating bird.
If they only knew they're gnawing
on dead crows from the garbage dump.
-All set?
-Yes, things are falling into place.
Not been easy, but it can be done.
-Be good to get out, eh?
-I know.
First I'll cancel that fucking
HBO subscription.
What is that?
The old plumbing, for sure.
Be great to sleep in my o.n bed again.
These here cant be called beds.
OK, we'll do it this weekend.
We need the toilet duty
to be able to do it.
The new roster is set today.
Let's go find ourselves one.
Catch a toilet duty.
Don't eat bird!
-Do you make the toilet roster?
-I sure do.
I'll do the john this weekend.
-And your number is?
-B. B 23 B.
B 23 B?
No, your toilet duty
is three weeks away.
I know.
I'd like to do it this weekend.
-Why do it before you have to?
I love
I like the toilet duty.
-Not the library?
-I don't like that smell, I prefer the can.
Go buy some shortcakes.
Hold up a mini mart.
Do something criminal.
A burglary or
Rob someone.
I don't care.
-B 23 B?
-That's me.
You're on toilet duty
this weekend, right?
Don't believe everything you hear.
-You're not on toilet duty?
-Yes, I am.
I am this weekend.
-You're lying?
-No, I said I'm on duty.
But don't believe everything you hear.
It's a saying.
-Lets have a coffee.
-Yes, please.
How long are you in for?
40 years.
Isn't 21 years the maximum
penalty in Norway?
40 dog years.
How about being set free as early
as this weekend?
Go on.
Me and my pal here plan to
escape this weekend,
and never return.
Isn't this a top security prison?
Not right now.
You see
Crime in Norway has really
shot up recently.
Prisons from north to south
have now become overcrowded.
Including Solvik county prison.
But since Solvik is one of
the country's oldest prisons,
it has generated problems.
Old sewer pipes are strained
by the huge number of convicts.
Quite simply an overflow of shit.
Lately, they've begun to mend them,
and prisons have taken measures
to ease the pressure.
They learned, as in Greece
during the tourist season,
that not flushing the paper
lowers the pressure considerably.
So management is placing large, black
garbage bags in the common restrooms,
and the guy on duty remotes the bags
from the restrooms,
carries them to storage, and the
collectors put them in the garbage truck.
Which drives out
of the prison.
And the point is?
We hide in the bags, and disappear out
with the garbage truck.
That's actually a great idea.
I'm in.
We'll get in touch.
Look at this.
We may have to get you t.o
a queen size bed.
Let me introduce my assistant,
Do not fall out with him.
They say he shoots the wings off a mosquito
with a shotgun at 1000 yards.
I hear you traded to be on toilet duty.
In my 20 years in prison admin,
no one has ever volunteered
for toilet duty.
I don't know what you're trying for.
But I've asked Brobaker
to watch you carefully.
And he's just itching to fire off
a charge at your ass.
See you, mister toilet duty.
Is Salmander here?
No, he's undercover
in Solvik county prison.
He's definitely not
undercover in the prison.
Not under any circumstances.
Think he's gone swimming.
Yes. Thanks for visiting.
We've nothing to offer you,
so thanks for visiting.
About time!
Quick, come on!
Nearly finished. 2 minutes.
-Coming in?
-No way. You've got 5 minutes.
And now you.
That's great.
Where now, boys?
We're going nowhere.
-Time to separate.
-You off?
I'm not
but you, on the other hand,
are going off.
Where will you go?
To Hellfjord.
We're off.
To Hellfjord.
Find my brother.
Is he hiding?
He's in trouble.
Phoned me several times last month.
He's been threatened by a
goddamn fucking Swedish cocksucker.
Poor Helgi.
Poor Helgi.
Invasion on one's privacy.
Do you know more about that Swede?
Got any info?
I know everything!
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