I Am Frankie (2017) s01e03 Episode Script

I am...a Rom-Com Fan

1 - What are you? - I am Frankie.
- I know that.
Is, uh--is Frankie a human? - COMPUTER VOICE: Do not lie.
- Come on, Frankie, tell me the truth.
- COMPUTER VOICE: Do not reveal android status.
- No, Dayton Reyes, Frankie is not a human.
Frankie is an android.
- Likea robot? - Yes, an android is a robot that resembles a human.
- Wow.
That explains so much.
You're quirkiness, the way you always use my last name.
- Goodbye, Dayton Reyes.
- See, there it is.
Wait, where are you going? You just told me you were an android.
That's like the biggest mike drop of all time.
- Mom instructed me to never reveal my android status.
It is too dangerous.
Violating the command requires us to move away.
This is goodbye forever, Dayton Reyes.
It was nice being your friend.
- No, no, Frankie.
Wait, okay.
You can't leave.
We're just getting to know each other.
Plus, I like you.
- I like you, too.
- So what do you say we keep this our little secret? - I'm sorry.
I'm programmed to tell the truth.
- You wouldn't be not telling the truth.
You would just be keeping a secret between friends.
It's not the same as a lie.
- That's correct.
So now that we have a solution, what do we do? - Great question.
What do you do when you find out your friend is an android? - I can do a search for what friends do.
- According to my search results, best friends blow up each other's phones 24/7.
- [laughing] - Now please step away from your phone.
- Oh, no! That's just a saying.
That's like, "Hey, hit up my phone.
" - Okay.
- Oooh.
Can you play music? - [electronic beeping] - - Absolutely amazing.
- - Come on, follow my lead.
- - Five, three, five, eight, seven, eight? - [buzzer sounds] - What was that noise? - The incorrect buzzer on my phone.
- Ugh, this is no use.
I've been trying to memorize pi to 100 digits all day, and I can't.
- Frankie did it.
- I know Frankie did it, but how? - Photographic memory? - Unlikely.
A true photographic memory is extremely uncommon in teens.
It's even rarer than nomophobia.
- You mean FOMO.
- No.
FOMO is fear of missing out.
Nomophobia is fear of not having service on your phone.
- - BOTH: [sighs] - I think someone was feeding her answers through an earpiece.
- Possible.
But unlikely.
- All we have to do is catch her using the earpiece.
- This sounds like one of your annoying schemes.
- It's not annoying.
It's clever.
- Okay, first, we spread a rumor about an outbreak of brain-eating earwigs.
Then we form a service group to perform ear examinations.
We look in Frankie's ears, and, bam, we find the earpiece.
- Sounds disgusting.
- But it would look great on our college applications.
- We could even call ourselves VISE: voluntary inspectors of Sepulvata's Ears.
- One problem.
Brain-eating earwigs aren't a real thing.
- No one else knows that.
We have the three highest IQs at Sepulvata High.
People will believe anything we say.
- I must say, your dedication is inspiring.
I mean, you're willing to do something so gross as to look inside everyone's ears? - ALL: [laughing] - Actually - No way.
Your disgusting plan, your participation is required.
- Okay, I would, but I have to tutor Cole.
- So? - Fine.
Makayla's out of VISE.
It's just you and me, Lucia.
- Hold on.
I didn't say I was out.
I think I have nomophobia.
- You mean FOMO.
- Exactly.
- - Ow.
How are you not tired? - I come equipped with a 90-kilowatt hour lithium ion battery.
- - How 'bout we do something a little less tiring? Like watch a movie? No way.
Do you have wireless connection? - Of course.
I have Wi-Fi, Bluetooth, NFC capabilities, and an application that allows me to talk backwards.
[speaking backwards] - Sorry, I meant the movie "Wireless Connection.
" It's a romantic comedy about two people who accidently swap phones on a city bus, and then fall in love with each other.
- Romantic comedy? - Yeah, or rom-com.
Oh, I'll get the lights.
- No need.
- [electronic beeping] - - [phone ringing] - Well, it looks like you haven't been scared off the premises yet.
A vast improvement from the last time you were there.
- Apologies for not searching during my previous visit, sir.
I was alone, and it would have been difficult, being I was designed with no hands.
- Whose fault is that? - Well, I was designed by-- - Don't--don't answer that.
- Uh-oh, someone is here.
- Yes, I know.
I sent over a little something I think will help.
- Sir, is this entirely necessary? - The Warfa people are losing their patience.
I need to give them an android now.
Time is of the essence.
Delicate searching is no longer an option.
I want you to tear apart everything in that house.
And I mean everything.
- Feels like things are getting real, real Never felt so alive, never felt so alive Feels like things are getting real, real Feels like things are getting real - - [laughing] You can laugh, too, Frankie.
- I can laugh, Dayton.
However, I cannot cry.
Saline corrodes metal.
- I meant at the movie.
See, the heart of a rom-com is love.
But it's done in a funny way.
- Love is funny? - Love can be funny.
And when something's funny, we laugh.
- [electronic beep] - Take Meg, the main character in the movie.
She is about to bump into Dean, her crush, and spill her drink all over him.
- Ay yes, slapstick humor.
- [laughs] - [electronic beep] - You don't have to watch me.
You can watch the movie.
- BOTH: [laughing] - You'll get iteventually.
- - [videogame sound effects] - What's up? What you playing? I'm just gonna go borrow your car, is that cool? - [sound effects continue] - Stop! - Finally! - Make sure to fill it up with gas on the way home.
- Dad! - I'm sorry, this game is just so intense.
- That's your high score? Week sauce, Dad.
- You think you can do better? - You wouldn't stand a virtual chance against the likes of me.
- Oh, you are on.
Here, let me just switch it to multiplayer mode.
And, boom.
- [game beeping] - What's happening? Why is it frozen? - It's buffering.
It can't handle the multiplayer graphics.
- Well, it can't be the wireless.
Your mother insisted on having the top-of-the-line connection.
- It must be your laptop.
That thing is like a zillion years old.
- Hey! This laptop and I have been through a lot together.
It's my most reliable friend.
- - If only we had a faster laptop.
- - Alright, let's get gaming before mom gets home and gives us the "This laptop is strictly for Frankie-related use only" speech.
- Jenny, Frankie is part of our family.
- I guess.
Are we going to do this or what? - Alright.
We'll play for 15 minutes, and that's it.
- One game, fifteen minutes, deal.
- - [computer beeps] - [gasps] The sweet sound of access to Sigourney's laptop.
Let's see what the brilliant mind of Dr.
Gaines is up to.
- - Videogames? - So Dean has the love emotion for Meg, and Meg also has the love emotion for Dean? - Yes, but people don't say the love emotion.
They just say love or like.
- So Meg loves Dean because he's a super hottie? - Yes.
But also because he's nice, and they have things in common, and they make each other feel special.
- Hi, Cole Ess, Bryon Patrick.
- Bryon, I can't see too well.
Is that--is that Frankie Gaines? - Perhaps you have a stigmatism.
It's a fairly common imperfection on the curvature of your cornea.
- [laughs] Right.
- [giggles] - Hey, Dayton, what's good? - Frankie and I just watched "Wireless Connection.
" - I've never see it.
- Really? We should watch it sometime.
I meannot-- all of us should, not just me and you.
That--that would be weird.
[laughs] - Yeah, weird.
But I'd love to watch it sometime with you.
- There you are.
Did you forget about our tutoring session? Why do you look so tense? - He's flexing.
- I am not flexing.
Tammy's tutoring me in algebra.
I guess you could say me plus Tammy equals a better math grade.
- [laughs] - Okay, come on, Cole, let's get out of here.
- - Cole so likes you.
I can tell because he was flexing.
- Flexing? - He only flexes when he gets nervous.
And he only gets nervous when he's around a crush.
Or when he has a big match.
He's on the varsity tennis team.
- I like Cole.
- Wait, you do? - Well, I don't feel emotions the way a human does.
But I'm programmed to simulate them via multilayer endocrine-like neuro network.
I like Cole, I like you, I like Jenny.
I'm not sure about Tammy.
- [laughs] I like you, too.
But Cole like likes you.
- Does saying the same word twice change the meaning? - Oh, how do I explain this? Um, do you remember the movie how Dean would get butterflies and stutter around Meg? That's like like.
- I don't remember any butterflies.
- It's an expression.
It's a reaction to someone.
A warm, fuzzy feeling.
- It is powerful electrical misfiring in my chest cavity butterflies? - Sure, why not.
- It could be a bug in my code.
But it only happens when I see Cole.
- I feel the same way around Byron, because I like like him.
I just wish I could find out if he felt the same.
- You can.
By populating his various online accounts, I can find out lots of information.
Shall I begin? - Yes! I mean, no.
I mean, you shouldn't.
Should you? - I've already done so.
Would you like to hear the results? - - So if X is 2 and Y is 6, and we're solving for Z, then 2 times X plus Y would make Z 10? Tammy? - Hey, if you had to post one of these, which one would it be? Because, see, I like my hair in this one.
But the look of frustration on your face in this one is very artsy.
- Should we really be studying here? There's so many distractions.
- Cole, this is all part of your training.
You need to learn to tune out distractions and focus on me, and me alone.
- You mean math.
- Right, math.
That was also part of your training.
Good job, you passed.
- Uh, thanks.
- - Frankie Gaines, I present to you the one, the only The Garage.
So I've been thinking about it and, um, what did you find out about Bryon? - I found many patterns.
One of note is the amount of times you looked up Bryon on social media.
- What? You can see that? Can he see that? - Of course.
- Oh no, no, no, this is a social disaster.
If he knows that I'm up on his page, he's gonna think I like him.
- But you do like him.
You said you like like him.
- But I don't want him to know I like like him.
- The algorithm is very complicated, so it's unlikely he knows.
- Okay.
Soif you can see how many times I've looked at his profile, can you see how many times he's looked at my profile? - Yes.
But without a comparable metric, it does not prove much.
- Well, I know Bryon loves bass guitar and brownies.
Check how many times he's looked at music sites and pastry blogs.
- [computer beeping] - He's viewed your profile more than all of those websites combined.
However, he has viewed your profile fewer times than a moving picture of a fainting goat.
- Ah yes, the fainting goat gif.
Real popular and real funny.
- GIRL: Over here, people.
- What's going on over there? - [clears throat] Everyone, please line up in an orderly fashion for ear checks.
The rumors are true, there is in fact an outbreak of brain-eating earwigs at Sepulvata High.
- Oh, no pushing.
We're happy to check everyone's ears.
Ever hear of a washcloth? Next! - - Hold on, what is this? - Is thatan earring? - Oh, wow, I've been looking for this.
Thank you.
- - Oh, Dayton, Frankie, we need to check your ears.
- No thanks, we're good.
- Hey, I was next.
- You're fine, get lost.
- What if you're not good, Dayton? What if an earwig is dying in your cerebral cortex as we speak? - Although it is a popular myth, there have not been any documented cases of earwigs inhabiting human ears and eating brains.
- It's not just earwigs.
We can detect any kind of bugs hiding in there, including but not limited to cockroaches, moths.
- And waxy buildup.
- Thanks, but no thanks.
We are bug and wax free.
- Actually, that's not true.
I've had bugs before.
- You have? - My mom just got rid of one she found this morning.
- Oh, no, Frankie-- - Now we have to check your ears.
Not just for your own safety, but for the safety of everyone.
- Hey.
Where are you going? We only got through two problems.
- If you were better at algebra, you'd get through them faster.
- You're supposed to help me get through all of this homework.
- There.
All done.
- ALL: [gasping] - - - You find something? - Yes.
- I knew it.
This proves that she's nothing-- - She's got the cleanest ears I've ever seen.
- BOTH: What? - She's squeaky clean.
What do you use to keep your ears so fresh? Is it mineral oil? I tried that once, but it gave me swimmer's ear.
- My mom uses a precision nano-vac MV60 on them.
- A vacuum cleaner? That's your secret? - Oh that's not a secret.
Dayton and I have a secret.
- What kind of secret? - Alrighty, we should really be going.
Have fun with your earwigs and stuff.
Peace! - Tammy is right.
That girl is definitely hiding something.
- - VISE is closed.
- Go home.
- BOTH: Next.
- You can't hang, Dad, just quit.
- I can't hang, huh? What do you call that? - I call that kicking your butt.
- What did you do? - Nothing.
I just beat you.
- No, no, no, no, what's happening? - It's the dreaded blue screen of death.
- Is it bad? - No, they call it the blue screen of death 'cause it's a good thing.
- MOM: I'm home.
- I think it's the Saskatoon Virus.
- Virus? How did we get a virus in 15 minutes? - We've been playing for two hours! - Oh guys, what are you doing in here? - Nothing.
Absolutely nothing.
- [laughs] Okay.
Well, I'm gonna go start dinner.
- Alright, here's the plan.
I'm gonna distract her by helping her with dinner.
You fix this thing.
- I don't know how to fix this thing.
- Well, figure it out.
Otherwise, it'll mean the blue screen of death for both of us.
- - This is unbelievable.
It's a virtual treasure trove of information to steal.
[laughs] With Sigourney's technology on top of mine, my android will blow that Frankie out of the water.
I'll be a shoe-in for the greatest prize in robotics.
[laughs] The Robel! Nothing can stop me now! [laughs] Except that.
Oh no, this can't be.
- [computer keys clicking] - I've lost everything.
- Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.
Guess what happened today? I watched a rom-com.
That's short for romantic comedy.
Comedy is funny, I should laugh at it.
Did you know love could be funny? Cole is funny.
He also flexes a lot.
Did you-- - Whoa.
Slow down.
- [in slow-motion] Hi, Mom.
Hi, Dad.
- Frankie, I'd love to hear all about it, but I need to update your files.
Let's get you plugged into my laptop, you can tell me all about it.
- No! I mean, I'd like to hear all about it, too, Frankie.
Andthe slower the better.
- Are you feeling okay? - Yeah.
I'm just nervous about the cooking.
[laughs] - You're monitoring a pot of water and waiting for it to boil.
- Yeah, but how will you know when it's done? - When it starts to boil.
- - I'll be right back.
- - Abort.
Abort! - [phone vibrating] - Were you just on my laptop? 'Cause I think you know it's off-limits.
- [laughs] I wasn't.
I was just, uhcleaning it.
You know what they say? A clean lab is a happy lab.
- Who says that again? - Scientists.
Lots of scientists.
- Yeah, thanks, sweetie.
Let me just grab this, and I'll get out of your way.
- Mommy, don't-- - Yeah, no, it's--clean--it's clean, sweetie.
- - - Did you get rid of it? - - BOTH: No! - What has gotten into you two? - You can't connect Frankie to that laptop.
- And why not? - Becauseit has a virus.
- [gasps] - [gasps] I learned that today also.
- [computer beeps] - How did this happen? - That's what I would like to know.
- Dad! - Fine.
We were gaming on my laptop, and it was so slow, and Jenny said she could kick my butt.
So I had to prove her wrong, and-- - We used yours instead.
- Do you two have any idea the damage that you could have done? And not only does this support Frankie's whole operating system, but if I'd plugged her in and she got that virus and-- - Honey, we never would have let that happen.
- Yeah, Mom.
Frankie is family.
- - Oh, look out! - Ohhh! - [crash] - If you're asking me to hold onto that, no hands, remember? - Just scan the document, PEGS1.
- Oh right, I can do that.
- [electronic beeping] - Good news, sir.
- Yes.
Yes, I knew we'd find something.
- I was able to eliminate 300,000 possible explanations for these numbers.
Only 4,757,631,000 possibilities to go.
- Well, just keep processing.
I--I have a hunch that is going to lead us right to that android.
- Shall we call off the dogs? - No! No, no, no, keep searching double time.
Leave nothing untouched.
Oh, and get the document back to the lab for further analysis.
PEGS1, move! I need that android.
- PEGS1: Ah! - [crash] - Where the heck have you two been all morning? I've been looking all over school.
- - Allergy Alliance? - We got busted by the school nurse for returning those ear scopes we borrowed.
Let's just say she wasn't too happy about us taking them without asking.
I blame you.
- Me? How was this my fault? I didn't tell you to get busted.
Anyways, I have a new plan.
- Oh no, I don't wanna be part of any more Tammy Plans.
- Oh, you gave them a name? - Come on, Makayla, what about Frankie's secret? - Secret? What secret? - When we were fake checking for earwigs, Frankie said she and Dayton had a secret.
- - Fine.
What's the plan? - - We're gonna bust herwith this.
A scanning device that will detect electromagnetic radiation.
You know, the kind put out by-- - A hidden computer.
- Or a radio-transmitting earpiece.
- Exactly.
If Frankie Gaines is hiding anything anywhere, I will find it.