I Woke Up A Vampire (2023) s01e03 Episode Script

Mirror Mirror


Nope. Come on. No.
The most lethal hunter of all?
"The Hunters."
"A hunter
is everywhere and nowhere.
They could be an employer,
a new kid in town,
even a parent."

Yes! On time.

[people chatter]
Coming through!
Watch out, Carmie.
[kids] Hey!
[kids clap rhythmically]
Hey! Hey!
Hold the work! Hold the work!
- [Leanna] Quiet!
- Um
My director is speaking.
Right. Uh, so, uh,
after your auditions,
- uh, Mrs. Brahms quit.
- She wasn't competent.
Right. Can't imagine
why she did that. So I will be
the director of the musical,
uh, which is great,
because I have a background in,
um Uh, yeah.
So, it is
cast and crew photo day!
Please be ready in 10!
This is so cool!
Our pictures are going to be
in the musical's program!
I've never had my picture
in anything before.
Well, except the class photo,
but that's, like,
one 20th of a picture, really.
And that one time I went
- to Medieval Eats.
- You didn't know about this?
No. Did you?
Yeah. Leanna texted everybody.
[Leanna] I can't run everything
by the understudy.
Can you imagine
if we did?
We would never get anything done
around here.
Oof. That had to hurt.

I'm fine,
but whoever put that wall there
has some explaining to do.
Is she always like this?
Yep. I think her middle name
has to be Extra.
Guess you'll have to re-paint.
Or not. [chuckles]
[bell rings]
Perfection. Next.
Flawless. Next.
Exceptional. Next.
[camera snaps]
- Okay.
- [photographer] Next.
What about hair up?
I think maybe you should, like
No, no, no. Okay. Hair down.
As I was trying to say,
I feel like maybe
Oh. No, no, no. No problem. Uh
Thanks. What about bangs?
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Uh, let's not go crazy.
Maybe I'll just pull it back.
That's you.
I can't believe I made the play.
Being the understudy is good.
Right? This is so surreal.
I've wanted to be
in a play forever,
ever since I can remember,
maybe since I was six
and I saw that production
of Wicked at a high school.
That was probably the one. Wait.
We should document
this moment.
[phone chimes]
Kev needs to relax.
Leads to the front.
We have actual work to do.
Rules are rules. [giggles]

Hunter identity fact sheet.
Binos. Check.
Utility belt. Check.
We have done the work.
We are prepared.
It's go time.
Hey, where are you going?
I'm taking my break.
Okay. Well, don't be too long.
I'm closing early today.
Yeah. Great. Got to go.
What a peculiar child.
[girl] Cheese!
- [boy] Hold on.
- [sighs]
- Oh.
- Sorry.
Great. Next.
No. No next.
We are not done here.
That light is too harsh,
and you, picture person,
I think
we would both like you to raise
the lens a little higher.
And then after we get a few
dozen shots,
switch to a wide angle and shoot
from below.
- I have what I need.
- But I don't.
Start clicking.
Like duh ♪
You know when I pull up ♪
Real is on the way ♪
But when I leave the club ♪
They always begging me
to stay ♪
Wow, wow who is she? ♪
Ooh she moves so flawlessly ♪
Heads turn side to side ♪
One look you're mesmerized ♪
- Did we get the shot?
- Perfection.
- Next.
- What should I do with my hands?
I'm gonna put them on my lap.
Is that okay?
Yeah. Perfect. And smile.

Could be a parent.
Suspicious. Drapes are closed
during daytime.

[man] Rainey! Rainey!
Rainey! Rainey, come on!
Where's my baby?
Are you outside?
Oh, where did that dog go?
Not a chance.
You knew that I was the vampire?
You knew that I was the vampire?
You knew that I was the vampire?
Definitely the last one.
I said definitely the last one.
I heard you. Do you always
sneak up on unsuspecting people
while they are trying
to rehearse lines
- for the school musical?
- No.
I just tend to move quietly.
Habit. [chuckles]
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to come harsh.
I have to learn all of this.
[chuckles] How's it going?
Okay, I guess.
I'm just the understudy,
but I want to be
the best understudy
this school has ever seen.
[chuckles] Seems like a lot.
It helps that I have no clue
who the past understudies
have been. [chuckles]
Glad you're working on the play.
Yeah. I thought it would help me
meet some people.
Not easy making friends
when you're the new kid in town.
Not that I had many friends
at my last school.
Why? Something wrong with you
that I should know about?
What have you heard?
Joking. I'm joking. I know
it's not easy to make friends.
Sometimes, I think that I'm
invisible to most of these kids,
and I grew up with them.
[both chuckle]
Want to help me rehearse lines?
- Uh
- I have to memorize
this whole book, every part,
in case I have to fill in
for someone.
I've never read lines before.
Just read the Hunter's part.
You can read, can't you?
Three languages, in fact.
Four if you count hieroglyphics.
Weird flex, but okay.
Just take it
from the top of scene three.
[clears throat] Was it not you
I saw atop the clock tower
at midnight?
It was. I like the night.
It cloaks me in its warmth.
What a strange perception
you have.
No stranger than yours.
What were you doing
out in the dark?
Well, that is my destiny.
Town to town, endless nights,
hunting the monsters
that haunt us.
Some might say
you are the monster,
hunting those who cannot sleep,
the undead.
[someone claps]
where did that come from?
I don't know.
It just came natural,
- like part of me. [chuckles]
- Well, keep it up and we'll
have to find a place for you
as part of the main cast.
And you!
Huh. Not bad.
I like your ring. Very Hamlet.
[both chuckle]
This is amazing!
This is awesome!
Dylan, thank you.
You helped me so much.
- [chuckles]
- Thanks.
- You're welcome.
- [squeals softly]

Wake up, little buddy.
- Someone is leaving town today.
- What?
[groans] Let me out!
Oh, what was that?
[groans] Let me out!
[laughing] Oh, no.
I'm afraid there's no chance
of me letting you go.
You are very valuable
to a client of mine.
[Hugar groans]
So many empty jars.
Everything will be just fine.
It's totally fine.
No! Collector, let me go!
Maybe they won't notice?
What is going on here?
I did not have the energy
to argue.
[sighs] You are not alone.
- Oh.
- Oh. Yeah.
Must have been overexposed.
Happens sometimes.
Well, this isn't going to work.
Are they ready?
My agent is waiting.
For the last time,
your mother
is a real estate agent,
not a talent agent.
I need to check
the dynamic range and make sure
the ISO settings
aren't ruining my features.
Something is wrong
with Carmie's photo.
The camera can't love everybody.
Some people just weren't born
for the theater.
[Jordan] There are no cameras
in the theater, Leanna.
Whatever. Just send me
my photos, and I'll let you know
- which one to use.
- I'm not releasing
anyone's photos
until all are uploaded
to our school's website.
Oh, Jordan, uh, I got to go.
I have another photo shoot
in, like, an hour.
- Well
- I can come back next month.
No, that's too late. I need
to get the program out now.
It's the only way to get parents
to buy tickets.
This is a literal nightmare.
My followers are waiting!
Other people's pets
don't count as followers.
A new kid in town.
Why are you sneaking up on me?
Oh. Uh, well, it just
It looked like you needed
some help.
Well, meditating
is kind of a solo activity.
[chuckles] Totally.
Do you always meditate
at school?
Seems like an odd place.
Oh, I always meditate
when the crew goes on breaks.
Why are you here on a Saturday?
[stammers] That not important.
Uh, what are your thoughts
on hunting?
Depends. Hunting for knowledge,
friendship, the truth,
your clique cool,
while hunting for self-gain,
sport, or to harm not cool.
Weird question.
Are you hunting something?
Uh, I I'm sworn to secrecy,
but I can tell you
that I'm trying to help out
a friend.
Except I may not be
the right person for the job.
Why? I hear you know things.
Mostly comic book things.
Hey, they hold a lot more truth
than people want to realize,
um, like the graphic novel
Vampire Queen. It nails
the struggles of the American
civil rights movement
- in the 1960s.
- One of my favorites,
but the follow-up
werewolf series?
- Missed it.
- It's, uh it's okay.
A little on the nose.
I mean, werewolf tropes
are always so hyper-masculine.
They either brood in silence
or howl at the moon.
Like, how many sad boys
do I have to read about
viciously attacking people
instead of, you know,
going to therapy?
What kind of werewolf
would you be, Kev?
Do you brood in silence
or howl at the moon?
Hmm. I've never considered it.
I'm just Kev. You?
I'd howl at the moon.
And run wild all night.
Back to work.
Oh. Hey, Kev,
you know, the things
most of us are searching for
are usually hiding
in front of us in plain sight.
Hunters don't howl.
Uh, Kev,
what are you doing down here?
I thought you already took
your break.
Oh, I I was just pulling
some comics from storage.
[Collector] Oh. Okay.
Well, hurry up. Customers.
Upstairs. You know
I don't like talking to them.
Yeah. I'll be up in a second.
I think I'm really getting
the hang of this,
but what if I can't do it?
I mean I think I can, but, like,
you know, what if I can't?
[chuckles] Sit.
The brain
always works better with food.
It's a fact.
I mean, what if I mess up
my lines or I'm too awkward?
You should see Leanna.
She's so confident.
She can sing, dance, act.
It's important to remember
that you can't try
to be like Leanna
or anyone else.
Just be yourself.
I'm in over my head, Mom.
Things are changing fast.
I'm losing control.
Everything about me feels off.
Mm. At your age, Carmie,
you are going to experience
a lot of changes.
Oof. I remember when I was 13.
- [phone rings]
- Uh, Mom, Mom,
I don't need that talk again.
[phone continues to ring]
Oh. Hi, Jordan.
Are they cutting me
from the musical?
Okay. I'll let her know.
Or did Leanna move out of town
and they need me for the lead?
No problem at all.
I'll let her know. Bye.
- What?
- You have to go back to school
to retake your picture.
Apparently, there was a glitch
with the camera.
Hmm? Hmm.
You let them take your picture?
- Yes, I did!
- If you only read more comics,
you wouldn't be
in this situation.
You would have true knowledge.
- Not helping, Kev.
- Don't you remember
all the selfies you sent me the
other day? You were so excited.
You said it looked like
you had your own personal
TikTok filter.
I know, but I didn't know it
would look like this forever!
[Ken] You're a Vampling now.
You glow from the inside out.
It's one of the perks.
I don't wanna be nightlight
every time I get
my picture taken.
You can't go back to school.
The same thing will happen and
this time, they'll know
it's not the camera.
You've never been
less helpful.
And I have never been
more happy.
You're happy?
This is not a time to be happy.
There is nothing happy
going on now.
You need to be careful.
Look. I I got to run.
It's a dangerous world for you.
Or it could be an employer.
Ah. Ah.

- What is that?
- Uh, homework.
Well, do it on your own time.
- I got to leave early.
- I'm closing early.
- [Kev] Uh
- Great.
- See you tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow.
- Yeah.
- Uh
- Bye.
- Bye.
See you.
I knew
you weren't paying attention.
These are awful.
Are you sure
you're a professional?
Some days, no.
Ah, finally. Okay.
Let's get this over with.
Great. You're here.
Uh, let's do this quickly.
I got to go.
No need to take another photo.
You can use this.
Cool, huh?
- Whoa. Cool sword.
- [Jordan] Huh.
Absolutely not. You will not
upstage me in the program.
[Jordan] Yeah. Leanna's right.
We need all the photos
to be uniform for the program.
I thought it had
a vampire vibe. No?
[Jordan] Well, it's not so much
but I guess it is of the opera.
Someone make a decision.
I'm leaving in seven minutes.
[Leanna] You have to use
the same terrible photographer
that we all used. Go. Sit.
Alright, Carmie. Let's go.
Uh, could I have
one second, please?
- [Jordan] Sure.
- Yeah.
- [knocking on door]
- [Jordan] Carmie, are you okay?
- [Carmie gasps]
- Uh, maybe the musical
is too much for you.
Miss Jordan,
I don't think that I can
[Jordan] Carmie,
we only have a few minutes.


- I'll be ready in two minutes!
- [Jordan] Okay.
Yeah. This is going to work.

It's a look!
Perfect. Let's shoot.
So different, yet so you.
That's all I ever want to be.
To add to your mystery.
I have a mystery? Cool!
[gasps] Fangs?
What a great prop!
Carmie, I love your commitment.
Got it. Done.
I'm out!
Good one.
Great job, Carmie.
We're closed!
[louder knocking]
We're closed,
so come back tomorrow.
I just said we were closed.
How did you even get in
Oh. It's you.
Why didn't you just say so?
Interesting entrance.
I'm glad you approve.
Where are they?
- The Blendeds.
- Right. Uh, of
This way. Follow me.
Now, this one
was very difficult to get,
but fantastic condition.
- A perfect specimen.
- Whoa! No! Not her!
[Hugar groans]
Only one?
Uh, yes, but a very rare one.
You know, quality over quantity.
Oh, my dear Collector,
I must believe
you haven't forgotten our deal.
No, no, no, no, no. Not at all.
If you want
your precious jewel returned,
I will need many more Blendeds.
I am trying.
I I even brought in a hunter,
the best at what he does.
I was told you are a man
with many skills,
one of which is that you know
how to find things,
rare and unusual things.
Yes, of course,
but, uh, what you ask
Is what you will deliver.
You have two days
after the hunter's moon.
If I don't have
any more Blendeds,
what is most precious to you
will be gone forever.
You will have everything
that you need. I promise.
If I may just have
one more week
You killed it.
What are you talking about?
Well, the look,
the makeup, everything.
You were so confident.
Leanna's head almost blew up
when she saw you.
You know, you would make
a great lead.
Really? I get so nervous
when I'm on stage,
but at the same time, it's,
like, all I ever think about.
What do you have
to be nervous about?
Literally everything.
I mean, what if I miss my cue,
trip, fall?
The possibilities are endless.
Well, sometimes, mistakes are
what make things great.
Still, I could never do
what you're doing.
Yeah. I'm more
of a "in the shadows" guy.
Well, maybe it's time for you
to step into the light.
- See you at school.
- Yep.
Interesting how your photo
was the only one
that didn't work out today.
Totally! That was weird.
Technology. Never know
when it's gonna work or not.
See you.
[Kev] I don't know
how many different ways
I can tell you
to keep a low profile.
I'm in my bedroom.
What more do you want from me?
Great idea to wear sunglasses.
It covered the light
coming from your eyes.
It wasn't my idea.
It was Madison's.
How's the hunting going?
Uh, process of elimination.
But you have to be careful.
I'll be fine.
Have you seen how fast I am?
Who's gonna catch me?
You're my best friend.
I'm not losing you.
[Carmie] You're spiraling.
It's not like I have to take a
school photo every day.
Today was a one time thing.
[Kev] Okay,
but remember,
there are eyes everywhere.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
You worry too much.
I thought we would have
one more year
before everything changed,
you know?
One last year to be kids?
Drams much? I'm a still a kid.
A Vampling kid.
[laughs] I got to run.
Talk to you tomorrow.
- What?
- What?

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