Invader ZIM (2001) s01e35 Episode Script

Hobo 13

Wa ha ha ha ha ha!
Plasma-armed Battle Tanks,
death-wave cannons
A sack of taquitos?
Just a few supplies I need
to complete my mission.
You get my taquitos yet?
Your exile ehh mission
is to observe the planet, Zim,
not annihilate it.
Yes, but I'm quite
good at annihilating.
Taquitos! And a
clown with no head!
Look, we'd love to
grant your request,
but we think you're
insane-- untrained!
Untrained? Invader Zim?
You're trained as
an Invader, Zim.
Battle-tanks are for
hardened soldiers.
Hey, how 'bout we
send Zim to Hobo-13?
It's the um
"Finest military
training planet ever!"
Zim, on Hobo-13 you'll
be torn limb from limb--
Evaluated as a soldier.
If you pass, we'll send you
a big bag of battle-tanks!
But not that clown thing.
Headless clown!
Headless clown!
Very well, my Tallest!
To attain my tanks,
I will allow the evaluation
of my incredible
brainmeats. Zim out!
How 'bout clown taquitos?
Hey, hey, GIR GIR,
check it out
With my mighty fists of
horror and unstoppable cruelty!
I am the tool of destruction,
vengeance and fury!
I only asked for
your name. Next!
I am Throbulator!
I am a creature
of pure headache!
Aargh! My head!
Your names! That's
all I want! Gah!
Invader Skoodge, sir!
I thought the almighty
Tallest killed you!
Yeah, but I'm ok now.
They say they'll promote
me if I pass the evaluation!
Ha! Foolish, gullible Skoodge.
Your first task, you scum-
puddling skwagdoogies,
is to choose a leader.
Anyone who disobeys the
leader will be eliminated.
Think carefully.
This is the most important--
I choose me!
Zim shall lead!
Object and taste my
revolting vengeance of power!
Just remember, with leadership
comes great responsibility.
You take care of your team
and you survive with honor!
Yes, yes, get on with it.
My battle tanks await.
Prepare yourselves,
slime licking schmork-krabs,
to face a series of trials!
The finish line is the
dreaded Fortress of Pain!
Any mistakes and you
will be beamed away
to a loser's holding pen.
The Holding Pen of Pain!
- The holding pen is painful?
- Yes.
Does it have to be?
Not really.
Now move it out!
Hey, no singing!
Get in step, shape up!
As you can see, brave
Invader Zim has begun
his journey to the
Fortress of Pain.
Anyone wanna bet
he gets blown up?
A thousand monies
something eats him!
OK. Anyone for chopped in half?
Ooooh! Me! I bet 2,000 monies.
You realize that if
nobody bets for Zim,
we could be out a lot of monies.
Any bets for Zim succeeding?
Come on!
You! Table-headed
service drone Bob!
You will bet 500,000
monies on Zim.
But I only make 5
monies every 2 years.
500,000 for Zim!
First, you must use your
wits to cross the Molten Pit
of Hideous Screaming Pain!
Your power-suits will
provide some protection
but nothing will defend
you from a stupid mistake.
Child's play!
We shall stand on
each other's shoulders
and fall forward,
forming a bridge to safety.
Why don't we just cut down
that tree and walk across?
It's safer and you know--
Are we going to
have trouble, soldier?
Can't hold on!
Arrrrgh! My head!
You're a horrible leader!
That should'na happened.
This is the Stinking Canyon
of the Ferocious
Meat-Thirsty Hogulus!
Of Pain?
It's simple.
Navigate from this
end to the far end.
Good luck.
I have a plan,
but I will need a volunteer
to distract the hog-beast.
Yes, sir! I am your loyal
Let's go.
Another job well done!
What about your soldier Skoodge?
It's what Skoodge
would've wanted.
I mean, oh, no!
Skoodge is in trouble!
What do you think you're doing?
I'm programming my
suit to steal energy
from the rest of
the team. Here I go.
and legs
With enough power,
I can lift the boulder
and throw it at the monster.
No one will say Zim never tried!
Uh takes a little
while, doesn't it?
OK, I tried.
The Fortress of Pain awaits!
If Zim finishes,
I get 6 million monies
Oh, Bobby, it
appears I need a refill.
Ah! Get it yourself!
Curse you, Zim!
I am invincible!
All I had to do was
reprogram the laser turrets
to lock in on, uh
What's her name?
That one person.
But she was a fine soldier
and better luck
to her in the future.
Behold, the Fortress of Pain!
What was your name again?
Yes. Soldier,
I have a very special
mission for you.
Feel nothing anymore.
Good work, team!
Oh, well.
Well, I made it to the Fortress.
Victory is mine!
Oh, no, Zim. No victory for you!
Because of your incompetence
your entire squad was eliminated.
You are a disgrace to Hobo-13.
But I survived every trial!
I'm the ultimate soldier!
I must get my equipment
or I won't get it!
Then defeat me, Zim!
Let this be your
final challenge!
I'm really looking
forward to twisting you
into a twisted, horrible knot
Made from you.
Hey, that's neat.
This circle is surrounded
by a transportation field.
First person to be
pushed through that field
gets transported to
The Holding Pen of Pain?
No, it's full.
Now the loser gets sent to
The Outhouse of Madness!
I have you now!
Uh now?
Uh now?
You are the worst
student I've ever had!
Perhaps you have
trained me too well.
No, really. You're the worst.
Your cheating arm trick
won't help you now, Zim.
No teammates left
to steal power from!
Hah! Wait!
Zim! I escaped from the canyon!
I made it! I'm alive-- Oooof!
Where am I? What am I seeing?
Oh, my oh, no!
Uhhh! Aaaah!
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!
Put me down! Aaaaah!
Um this completes
my evaluation.
The Tallest can deny
my requests no longer!
I am Zim! Bring me the tanks!
You can serve
yourselves from now on!
Ha ha ha ha ha!
It sure was nice of the Tallest
to give me my own ship.
And they tell me if I prove
myself as a fleet commander,
they'll give me my tanks
and my own battle cruiser.
Hey, why are these
controls locked anyway?
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