Jack Irish (2016) s02e03 Episode Script
Series 2, Episode 3
1 I want you to tell me why Eddie Chin and Lakshmi Agarwal are dead.
- They killed them.
- (TASER FIZZES) We've had an anonymous tipoff regarding the marital status of Ms Blossom.
STAN: Let my wife go! I did warn you about going on the Stewart's panel, Cyn.
They shot at my me and my kids, Harry.
I need to find the migration agent at Meritus College.
SIMONE: Denis Bontempelli, Sydney Road, Brunswick.
You could start by telling me when Javed Nazeem was supposed to be deported.
Day after Lakshmi Agarwal died.
- They all were.
- And how many are we talking? 20, including the dead girl.
AJEET: (READS) "I have been made to feel so welcome here.
"This almost feels like home.
" The death certificate is dated before the letter.
How can that be? I have to bring Lakshmi home to put her ashes in the river.
Happiness is on its way.
I saw it written on a wall just outside your office.
I checked with the coroner's office.
There was no autopsy.
It's against the family's religion.
Really? WOMAN: No more warnings.
Enjoy the walk.
MAN: OK, Lakshmi, please rate the following on a scale of one to five, with one being 'strongly disagree' and five 'strongly agree'.
I wake up and get out of bed eager to start a new day.
Mm, four.
Maybe two on Mondays.
I refuse to give up, no matter how tough things get.
Five.
I feel irrationally upset at a close friend's success.
Er one.
Almost everyone lies on their tax returns.
Five, although in India, we just have very good accountants.
On a scale of one to ten, are you very happy, somewhat happy, not happy? With one being 11.
You may run on for a long time Run on for a long time You may run on for a long time Tell them God Almighty's gonna cut you down Tell them God Almighty's gonna cut you down Go tell that long-tongued liar Go and tell that midnight rider Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back-biter Tell them God Almighty's gonna cut 'em down Tell them God Almighty's gonna cut 'em down.
(PHONE RINGS) Irish.
Bernadette, how are you? No, I haven't quite had the chance to file with the Supreme Court yet.
I was thinking more your, sort of, garden variety, local council boundary surveyor.
Well, what are you planning on growing in your 6cm of extra land? No, I realise it's a much bigger issue.
Border protection.
Julian Burnside? You could see if he's available.
Possibly a little over-qualified for Geoffrey Robertson? Well, that's also a thought.
Possibly also a little bit over-qualified for a residential fence dispute.
No, no, I I take this very seriously.
You're accusing a government department of abduction.
Well, given the fact that I was abducted ten minutes after I left their building, then I'd say there's a connection.
Long bow.
Can you at least just run the plates? The car's in a paddock in Mansfield.
You know, it's a nice place, Mansfield.
I took the missus there once for a caravan holiday.
But, I've got to tell you, I don't get why people like caravan holidays.
You get everything and everyone that drives you nuts in your own house and you cram it all in one tiny little space.
I take it you're not going to follow up on this, then? Oh, no, I'm putting a 30-man unit on it as we speak, Jack.
I mean, this kind of case is exactly how we should spend our resources.
You ready for the team alignment meeting? Yeah, yeah, of course.
Yeah.
Good opportunity to leverage your core competency, Barry.
Yeah, great opportunity, Simon.
Can I at least have a glass of water? You know there's a filter under the sign that says 'Homicide Squad'.
Give us a call when they murder you, Jack.
Maybe then I can help you out.
Ah, lovely.
Thank you.
- I spoke to the Australian Embassy.
- Oh, yeah? The adoption's going to take forever.
It's a minefield of bureaucracy.
Maybe this loose arrangement's OK.
I can see Fatma whenever I want.
But, darling, the adoption is all you could talk about for a year.
I know, but it means going back to Melbourne, weathering millions of forms and countless interviews and even then there's no guarantee, so Who would have believed this? Someone in Manila has found my old glasses and incorporated them into this vegetable noodle dish.
And you thought those hideous things were lost.
Yes.
Yes, I did.
And then I said, "They might have fallen behind the bookcase," and you explained you'd already looked there.
Thoroughly.
And now they found their way into this dish.
Glass noodles.
(CHUCKLES) MAN: Your celebrant had uncompleted units in stagecraft and pastoral care.
Well, she had a, uh, a maypole and a ring box.
She was the real deal.
Except she wasn't registered.
But but Cherry is my wife, in name and in heart.
But not in law.
So what's? That's it, is it? You put a man's life to an end and you just say it's the law.
Well, who are you to judge me Ian Knight? Who are you to cast doubt on my marriage, on my love? Like I said, not a marriage if the celebrant has an incomplete Cert IV.
Ian.
Ian, do you walk through your door and feel a warmth rising from your ankles? Rising up until your entire body is glowing? Do you have someone to hold you at night, when the world around you is just spinning out of control? Who yells at you, Ian, when you mix the whites with the colours? Because that's what I had.
Everything alright there? You have to give my wife back her visa.
She's done nothing wrong.
Ms Blossom's place of residence was a pub with multiple bedrooms, where she was working seven days a week without a work permit.
- Yeah - Someone reported her, Mr Collins.
And unfortunately their suspicions are confirmed.
Someone who? I'm afraid that's classified.
(PHONE RINGS) - WOMAN 2: Hello? - Hi, my name's Jack Irish Who? Who the hell are you and what are you doing with my daughter's phone? I'm a friend of your father's.
I actually spoke at his funeral.
And I think I might have inherited something that belongs to you.
Inherited? What the hell are you talking about? What happened to you? Well, I got assaulted and thrown in the boot of a car.
And you tell me not to bullshit.
So you thought you'd just Airbnb at my place, did you? No, you pay for Airbnb.
I'm couchsurfing.
Right, so those dishes are just going to surf their way to the sink, are they? Eventually when they're ready.
Gulls migrate.
Salmon swim upstream.
Runaways return to their parents.
I just spoke to your mum on the phone.
Yeah, awesome.
Apparently you were supposed to be spending two weeks with your dad.
Listen, if there's some kind of issue there, or you want to talk about something Jesus! Seriously, please don't.
Whoa! Mate, have you got a, um, a shovel I could borrow? For all that manual labour that you do? No, I realised yesterday that I do not own one single piece of equipment that real men own.
Real men have tools, Jack, and I all have is a smash and blend juicer, a coffee machine and a battery-operated nasal hair trimmer.
You do realise it's a federal offence to open somebody else's mail, don't you? Yeah, it's a force of habit.
It's not like I read them.
Hey, mate, I had absolutely no idea that you were seeing a shrink.
Where are you going? For a swim upstream.
Alright, so back to your dad's? What's the shovel for? Men's Retreat.
You dig your own grave and lie in it.
And you're paying for this, are you? They say it's only when you look death in the eye that you can move forward with your life.
You should come along.
It's not cheap but it's a bargain compared to that.
Oh, you're kidding me.
(SCOFFS) I had a conference call at six.
The timetable isn't an exact science, Phillip.
What are they doing on there? My time, my rules.
(PHONE RINGS) If you boys are not off there in three seconds, the controllers go in the bin.
One, two Rory Finch.
- Rory, it's Jack.
- Oh, hi.
- Ah, I need to see you.
- Of course.
How about that place near your office at seven? Uh, yeah, I should be able to do that.
- Great.
- I'll see you soon.
Who was that? I've got to get down to the school.
I forgot it's Spencer's parent-teacher night.
Oh, no! Dad, Phillip's going to be making you dinner tonight, OK? No, I won't.
Changeover was at six.
You're on, I'm off.
Fine.
Then neither of us will go to parent-teacher.
I hope he hasn't put any onion in this.
No.
No, he hasn't.
Fine.
I'll go to parent-teacher.
Fine.
You go.
What's his teacher's name? I can't have onion! I'm making casseruola manzo.
It has onion in it.
Can you just pick it out for him? No, I can't take it out, it's finely chopped.
Oh, for God's sake, Phillip.
The man is dying.
Can you just humour him? Like I haven't been doing that my entire fucking life - See you soon, kids! - BOTH: Bye! I take it you don't have internet banking or private health insurance.
(CLEARS THROAT) So I'm assuming we're not here to discuss your mental health.
Look, 19 students who attended Meritus College with Eddie and Lakshmi were all deported the day after Lakshmi died.
One of them got away, and then he turns up at some random Doncaster office block waving a knife around.
Javed Nazeem.
Did you know him? He was all over the news.
Wasn't a patient of yours, was he? Is that a no? You really struggle with this whole confidentiality thing, don't you? Javed had something he wanted to tell me and our meeting got cut short, so I need to talk to him.
- So how do you plan on doing that? - Well, he's an illegal.
They'll be holding him in some detection centre before he's deported, I imagine.
No-one gets access to those places.
Oh, come on.
There's got to be a way, doesn't there? Why don't you just go to the police, Jack? - Tried that.
- Well, go to the media.
Tell them a private school and Immigration are doing dodgy deals.
Expose the bastards.
'Dodgy deal' doesn't really explain why Eddie Chin got murdered halfway through his delivery round, though, does it? How well did you know Eddie Chin? He was my courier.
So you're close with your garbage collector and your gas meter reader too, are you? Yes, they've promised to name their firstborn children after me.
- So I wanted to - So you're not doing Just so you know my husband and I, we're bird-nesting.
- Bird-nesting? - Mm-hm.
Keeping the family home intact while the parents are not together.
We fly in and out, and we ensure the kids have continuity and stability.
Like an oil rig for relationships.
Something like that.
With the occasional explosion.
OK.
I just wanted to be clear about my relationship status, so you didn't think that I was - Flirting with me? - No.
That would be unethical.
Oh, well, I think we can safely assume that at 300 bucks an hour, I am no longer your patient.
Dougie here's got something to say.
Haven't you, Dougie? Sorry about shooting up your place, Cyn.
There, he said it.
It was a moment of passion.
Fire in the belly, blood boiling and a man driven to the edge by injustice.
There's over $1,000 worth of damage.
On the positive side, Dougie used to be a plasterer.
I don't want him near my kids.
The man's a mouse, Cyn.
Look at him.
Does that look like a man who would have drugged horses? If he was, he wouldn't have shot at the ceiling.
He would have massacred the lot of you in your beds.
Oh, yeah, no, you're right, Harry.
Such admirable restraint.
Come on, Cyn.
Let the man repair your cornice.
Now he's apologised, it's your turn.
(PHONE RINGS) Jack.
How are you? I'm good.
How are you? Yeah, great.
Long time.
Yeah.
And given the word count of this conversation, maybe next time we should just text.
- Listen, I've got a story for you.
- Have you? - Yeah.
I think it's really big.
- Really? It's about a private college that's promising to educate international students.
- It's just taking their money.
- Jack, one, I'm in Manila.
There's been two deaths and a cover up so Two, all editors want is clickability, so you'll lose them on international students, dead or alive, unless one of them's a Kardashian.
Three, even if you expose corruption, someone will call it 'fake news'.
Do you know how I and 90% of all other journalists make money now? It's puff pieces.
Real investigative news died with the internet.
Are you not up-to-date with that invention yet? So that's a no, is it? - Yes.
- But that was a yes.
- Yes, that was a no, Jack.
- Linda - What's he got? - Oh, I don't know.
I don't care.
Really? - You didn't get the details? - (SCOFFS) Whatever happened to this beautiful woman who wandered on to my rooftop three years ago, insisting she was a serious, award-winning journalist? She met a lazy, ill-dressed man and it kind of ruined her life.
Oh, well, that's a shame.
She would have walked over hot coals for a real story.
If you could get off my case literally.
I've got a flight to catch and a much more important story to tell about Devi Gupta's new musical.
Wait.
Wait, I've got something.
Here.
I found it in a cereal box.
Nearly choked on it.
Thought you might find a use for it.
I spoke to the embassy.
Why didn't you tell me they wanted us to be married? You'd do that for her? I'd do it for you.
Well, come on.
Don't make me wait.
My knees might not survive.
And I can get money back on the ring if I return it in 24 hours.
WOMAN: (ON TV) And in some other news, the Minister for Homeland Security has announced that Doncaster terrorist and illegal immigrant, Javed Nazeem, will be deported to India within the next 48 hours.
MINISTER: Well, this is another example of why this government has increased vital safeguards.
Thorough screening is of utmost importance to national security.
Without such security measures in place, we open our doors to the threat of terrorism.
This government is committed to ensuring events of this nature Psst! Drew, is that you? MAN: He's in number three.
Oh, OK.
Thanks, mate.
Drew! Fuck! It's Jack.
Jack? Well, you You can't go calling out a bloke's name when he's lying in a grave.
I thought you were God.
You nearly gave me a heart attack.
- At least you're prepared.
- You're too late, mate.
We spent all afternoon digging these things.
- It's not like there's a spare.
- It's OK.
Listen, how do I get into a detention centre? You drove all the way out here to ask me that? - You're a lawyer.
- Yeah, I do conveyancing.
You've had more experience with these kind of cases.
Listen, there's a guy on terrorism charges, so the usual drill is they question him for days, they get a list of his contacts, he goes to trial and then they ship him back, right? Yes.
- Well, they're not doing any of that.
- Shh! Ohh.
I'm trying to die here! (WHISPERS) How do I get to talk to him? Well, you can't.
The detainee has to ask for your services directly, on an official form, in writing, in triplicate.
And how does he do that from detention? Oh, precisely.
They make it impossible for the poor bastards to get representation.
Right.
How long are you planning on being dead? Got another 12 hours.
Then apparently you reach breaking point and discover what's really of value in your life.
Right.
A comfortable bed, I'd imagine.
(CLEARS THROAT) You don't happen to have a throat lozenge on you by any chance, do you? Shh! We're supposed to be dead.
That guy's been a pain in the arse since we got here.
(SHOUTS) Relax, mate, you're going to ruin the experience! Alright.
- Rest in peace.
- Yeah.
- You sure one's enough, Jack? - I can get more.
There's a whole hand where this came from.
Hi, Denis.
I thought we were quid pro quo last time? Yeah, just a couple more questions.
I'm calling the police.
Sure.
Dialling finger.
I told you everything I know last time.
I reckon you probably know more than you think.
You might surprise yourself, Denis.
It's amazing the amount of knowledge people pick up over a lifetime.
I often know the answers on quiz shows.
Now, when the students arrive in the country, you hold their passports here, is that right? The height of Mount Kosciuszko.
They asked that once.
I knew it.
2,228 metres.
Bloke didn't know.
But when they leave the country, they obviously take their passports with them, yeah? If they don't leave the country and they go on the run perhaps, like Javed Nazeem, for example, his passport still remains here with you, I imagine.
How do you feel about writing a little letter for me, to the Admissions Officer? Use them or fucking lose them, Denis.
To the Admissions Officer I, Javed Nazeem "I, Javed Nazeem" appoint the services of Jack Irish LLB to represent me in a matter ".
.
pertaining to my current status of detention.
"I declare that I, as a resident of India, visited Australia" UNC3462's already got a court-appointed attorney.
- UNC? - Unlawful non-citizen.
Next.
Hang on, Javed Nazeem contacted me.
He's not happy with that appointment so he's exercising his right to a private option.
I mean, why would I have his passport if I wasn't representing him? You're going to have to wait a lifetime to get that approved.
I'm not in a hurry, mate.
(TELEPHONE RINGS) You sure? Really? OK.
Jack Irish.
Sign in.
Place your phone and keys in the tub.
Uh, can I use your pen? (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) Javed, I'm not sure if you remember me.
I'm I'm Jack Irish.
We were supposed to meet.
Shakti said you had something to tell me.
Do you remember what that was? (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) Javed.
Javed, can you speak English, mate? You might be the last person around who can help me.
(SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) I don't know what you're saying, mate.
- Hey! - It's OK.
What is that? (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) Javed? (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) Aah! (WHIMPERS) Jack.
We need to talk.
I'm required by law to sign a privacy document.
The government needs an independent mental health assessment of detainees before deportation.
I've been called in on numerous occasions I specifically asked you I specifically told you that I couldn't tell you.
So you were brought in to assess the students being deported.
Who exactly is on trial here? I don't know.
You tell me.
I protect the privacy of vulnerable people because I care about them, Jack.
That's my job.
Now, forgive me for putting them ahead of you and your completely unofficial investigation.
Well, then you should be concerned to know that Javed Nazeem is seemingly in some permanent psychosis.
- They let you see him? - Yeah.
How did you get into a detention centre? - What did you prescribe him? - Nothing.
He was like that when I found him.
I asked to see his medical chart.
He'd been prescribed an extremely high dose of Clozapine on admission.
It's it's an anti-psychotic.
And who gave him that? I don't know.
The chart wasn't signed.
The chart wasn't signed? Don't you think that's weird? Whoever it was clearly didn't want Javed telling anybody what he knows.
Jack I know it's hard, when you see injustice, to walk away, especially given your past Oh, don't psychoanalyse me, please.
I don't want another bill.
All I'm saying is the challenge for you moving forward is to know when to let things go.
Well, that's the best advice you've given me, so thank you.
(HORSES WHINNYING AND INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENTS) I'm going to back Dandelion Dreamer.
8/1.
She's got good form coming in.
Jack, if I ever want racing tips from you, check me into a home.
Put your money on Crimson Tide for a place.
- It's long bloody odds.
- Jack, trust the experts.
Yeah, alright.
COMMENTATOR: Dandelion Dreamer's hanging on from Serendipity and Dandelion Dreamer's just going to win from Serendipity.
Midnight Boss has got third with Crimson Tide wide out finishing fourth.
Looks like you owe me 300 bucks, Harry.
I really could have used that money.
We have a call for jockey B.
Cavelli, the rider of Dandelion Dreamer, to attend the steward's room as soon as possible.
Cavelli weighed in light.
Dandelion's disqualified, which bumps Crimson Tide up to third.
Give the man 1,500.
Well played, Jack.
Spend it wisely.
Two trainers banned One, plus Dougie.
Now B.
Cavelli out for 20 meets.
It's got to be building up to something big.
This stinks, even for racing.
Yeah, but he's a, you know, thorough operator.
I mean, doping and fiddling with weights.
What's going to be his next scam? Did you see anyone else put money on Crimson Tide? There was a woman and her daughter put on a couple of thousand.
Someone must have paid you well to weigh in light, Bruce.
It's got nothing to do with me, Cam.
Someone must have fiddled with me saddlecloth.
Got somewhere to be, do you? Just going home to the missus.
Ibiza? Spain.
Nice this time of year.
Yeah, my weather app reckons 28 every day.
So you choose the middle of the racing season to piss off overseas and have a holiday? Someone must have paid you well.
I'm telling you the truth.
She didn't pay me anything.
Harry.
Three o'clock.
I'd recognise those pins anywhere.
It's not a good idea to start bullshitting me, you little ferret.
Mr Agarwal, please accept my sincerest apologies.
The coroner told us the delay was due to a bureaucratic bungle with customs.
And they She has been sitting on a shelf without an address.
I see.
Lakshmi was a beautiful girl, Mr Agarwal.
She can now find the peace she deserves.
Who gave you that? The college.
Why the hell would they have them? Mrs Khurana.
She told me there were issues with customs.
I know I'm just a poor man, but I'm not a fool.
Lakshmi's letter, a lie.
College, accommodation, all, everything, lies.
How can I believe anything they tell me now? Jack you're the only one who I can trust.
Please, take this.
And you find out the truth for me, hm? How long are you here for, Ajeet? My flight is tomorrow.
Three.
Oh, right.
Um Listen, why don't I pick you up at 12, eh? But I will not leave without Lakshmi.
Irish.
What now? Well, apparently she spent the night in a clothing bin.
You said you were going to your dad's.
You said you were locked in a car boot.
Thanks.
Who's that? It may or may not be an Indian girl who's walked in front of a bus.
I don't know why I bother asking.
This your dad's place? Gus.
You don't have to come in.
Oh, actually I think I might.
Nice house.
You really think it's OK to keep breaking into people's homes that aren't yours? - I didn't.
- So who are they then? That's not your family, is it? Gus, give me your dad's number.
I'm going to call him.
Gus.
Gus! Is this your dad? - Where is he? - Bali.
With his wife and their kids.
Why didn't you go with them? Didn't want to go.
Why don't you stay here all the time? Big house to yourself.
Every teenager's dream, isn't it? Like you said it's not my home.
(PHONE RINGS) RECEPTIONIST: Kensington Street Medical Centre.
One moment, please.
Well, I pride myself on restoring my patients back to full health, Jack, but this might be beyond me.
I need someone to find out if they're human for me.
I take it this is not a property dispute case.
No.
Listen, my neck's still giving me a bit of grief.
I'm sure it is.
Well, give me something, will you? There are a thousand doctors who would.
You have to ask yourself why you keep coming back to me.
Yeah, I do ask myself that.
Hourly.
I spoke to your psychiatrist, Jack.
A lovely woman and a highly-regarded doctor who is very interested in your wellbeing.
We both decided that prescription medicine was not the solution to your woes.
Let's just hope she can sort you out before you turn into these.
(PHONE RINGS) Yeah? Yes, OK.
What about some of this? Whatever this is.
Just because I take their merchandise doesn't mean I prescribe their drugs.
Take it.
Might prevent skin cancer.
- Great.
- (ALARM BEEPS) What are you doing? Hello, Daddy.
Hello, is Cherry Blossom there? No, but I could be Cherry Blossom if you want me to be.
Oh.
Oh, don't be shy.
What's your name, big boy? Hey, you got to feel for the poor bugger.
He'll get over it.
Yeah, but it's not easy having your wife scuttle off like that.
Yeah.
But at the same time - Yeah? - .
.
pies are back.
Yeah.
Uh, everyone, this is Gus.
- Gus is Charlie's grand-daughter.
- Ah! Gus, meet Eric, Wilbur and Stan.
Hi, Gus.
At least if you set fire to this place, Stan will get the insurance for it.
What? Can I have my usual and a lemonade? Thanks.
Uh, yeah.
So, you want to tell me why you tried to burn down a perfectly good doctor's surgery? "Gus is depressed.
"Gus has an eating disorder.
Gus isn't coping.
" They never think they're the ones with the problem and I'm the one who has to deal with it.
Well, maybe you should tell them that.
Have you talked to Mum? What about your dad? Nah, he's a dick.
Well, maybe I could talk to him.
He's not interested, OK? He's got a new family.
Mum thinks he looks after me but I never stay with him.
Whenever I came over for the school holidays, I always stayed with Opa.
At least he didn't talk.
Unless you count personal criticism, and half of it being in German.
Yeah.
He only did that to people he liked.
Well, I'm sure he did it to you, then, too.
He was pretty harsh about my dovetail joints.
He was harsh about every one of my joints.
(GERMAN ACCENT) "You call zis a finger joint? Is it wearing mittens?" - WEB STRIPPER: Oh, hello, Daddy.
- No! No! Go away.
It's good to see you again.
Wrong number.
How about you try an underscore between 'Cherry' and 'Blossom'? Underscore, you reckon, eh? OK.
- Oh, there? - Mm-hm.
OK.
OK.
Oh, thank you, Gus.
Oh, uh.
Yes, mate, is there a Cherry Blossom there? What's he saying? Sounds like he's going on about what a great son-in-law you are.
There is a canker in our midst.
An infection in the vein.
An ulcer in the muscle.
Someone rang the authorities about Cherry.
And if there is one thing I will not tolerate at the Prince, it's treason! Mark my words, I will find out who it was.
Because once you've had what I've had, you fight for it.
Cherry and me have got the kind of love, well, they write songs about it.
You're not gonna sing one for us, though, are you, Stan? - No! - (THEY LAUGH) Oh, yes.
No, yeah, yeah.
That's right, laugh at my expense.
Do you even know what love is, Jack? The answer is no, and I'll tell you why.
Because you have the emotional life of an amoeba.
Ohh! Well, I'm on your side with this one, Stan.
No bloody idea.
Although that's not really fair to the amoeba.
- Come on, Gus, let's go.
- I'm fine here.
Yeah, yeah, look, the lass can stay with us, Jack.
Yeah.
Well, it's been a long time since I've had the pleasure of the company of a young lady.
- (PHONE VIBRATES) - Hey, boss.
RAZOR RAY: How'd you go with the limo company? Got a hold of the client's address.
I'm just outside her window at the moment.
- Hey! - Oi! Oof! I got to go.
Harry, red jacket.
Our mystery woman loves golf and is extremely close to her daughter.
- HARRY: Ricky bloody Kirsch! - Yep.
(MOBILE RINGS) Irish.
DR GREAVES: Just confirming the tree is dead.
What? Your property dispute case.
I got the results back.
Oh, right.
And? Nothing human in those ashes.
Right.
Thought so.
Oh, and Jack, the forensic testing cost $300.
Yeah, course it did.
What's the pick-up address? Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Yep.
I'm sorry about the fire in the bin, too.
See you.
So not a fun day today? It's Wednesday.
Wouldn't it be more efficient if everybody hated their work? Because then they'd rush through it to get home quicker.
Hey, have you ever read the Harvard Study on Happiness? Negative energy is contagious, so if you haven't got anything positive to say, maybe you could leave.
Even if you do, could you still leave? Listen, I found this list inside a pen.
It's got all the deported student names on it Hey, Meredith? Hey, I don't really think you put in much effort last week.
I mean, it's not a criticism.
It is just an observation.
What do you reckon all the A's and P's are? I don't know, Jack.
Academic grades, probably.
Now, no matter what your opinion of the theme, Miles, the key word here is participation.
What is Outlander, anyway? It is a ground-breaking feminist time travel series that subverts the male gaze.
Look, I know you and your boyfriend are having issues, Jason, but maybe instead of bringing those into work, you could bring in a kilt and a smile.
Anyway, about the list.
Will you take a look? I'll give you a call.
RICKY KIRSCH: When you can't go to Ibiza, let Ibiza come to you, I say.
Dig in, Bruce.
You decided to share our little secret, did you, Brucey? - I didn't say nothing.
- No? Then why was the man you were talking to at the races in my front garden? Dunno.
(SCREAMS) (HOWLS IN PAIN) That's what you get when you cross Ricky Kirsch! Jennifer.
Mr Agarwal? Now you think you can just fob me off? Please don't lie to me.
OK, I am not lying to you, Mr What are you doing? What? (SCREAMS) (PHONE RINGS) Yep? - Jack? - Yeah.
The names on the list.
I can send you their student files and the courses they studied but I can't trace them to India.
You'll need someone on the ground.
There are 500 Neerja Mangeshkars in Uttar Pradesh alone.
- Well, thanks for trying.
- Wait, Jack.
There's something else.
Hi.
This is a bit of a long shot.
I'm trying to track someone down.
Name? If I had his name, I wouldn't need to track him down.
He's written this list.
Uh, what did he look like? Uh, male, Caucasian, middle-aged, sort of brown hair.
Hardly any of them around here.
Yeah.
I don't suppose he was wearing a white lab coat? 'Cause that'd really narrow it down.
Thanks.
(BABY SCREAMS, TV BLARES) You ready? Don't want to miss your flight.
I told you, Jack.
I will not leave without Lakshmi.
Come on, Ajeet.
Pack your bags.
There's nothing more you can do, mate.
(GROANS) Run! Run! What the fuck? Sorry.
Let's go to the airport, eh? I promised my wife, and now I go home with nothing.
If I cannot bring her home to the family, that's it, she will be lost forever.
WOMAN: (OVER PA) Passengers flying Air India Flight 205 to Mumbai, proceed to gate number one for boarding.
I promise you.
We'll get to the bottom of this.
As they say, Ms Hillier, what happens on set stays on set.
So you won't confirm your on-set romance with co-star Sunni Kamal? How do you keep in shape for such strenuous dance routines? Thank you so much for asking.
I practice hatha yoga every morning for two hours.
Oh! But can I tell you the real secret behind my glowing appearance? I'm sure you're going to.
It is my new range of skin care products, Aloe Sundar.
This moisturiser keeps my skin nourished, even under the harshest of studio lights.
You can get it directly from my website Could you excuse me for one moment? Sorry.
Thanks.
Bye.
(PHONE RINGS) Yeah? Yeah, I'll do it.
Give me the details.
Oh, great.
Well, there's 18 people I need to locate in India.
India? Yeah, I need to know if they're alive and if they're not, how they've died.
You want me to travel 5,000km to locate 18 people in a country of 1.
3 billion? - Uh, yeah.
- OK, fine.
You'll cover my travel and expenses, right? Um, yeah, fair enough.
When can you leave? You're lucky.
I'm already here on a stupid junket anyway.
Take a screenshot of the names and MMS me all the details, yeah? Oh Just ask Simone.
Yeah.
Thanks.
I'm not going to ask.
I'll just get this then, will I? Hm.
Couch surfing? Mm.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Can we? I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the unsolicited psychoanalysis.
It's a defence mechanism.
You were right.
I was flirting with you and I really shouldn't have been.
I have kids.
I have a full-time job.
Anything happening between you and me is completely out of the question.
I mean, I dissect these things for a living.
An affair is basically just about the first kiss.
That forbidden illicit moment.
After that it's all downhill.
I don't want to waste my time thinking about you when I'm with my patients or doing my kids' homework.
What's the point, when in a few months it's just going to be over in some sordid hotel with? Yeah.
Yeah, that's all we needed to do, really.
Maybe just one more to be sure? There's trouble brewing and it's my duty to put it right.
The integrity of racing is in jeopardy.
Oh, not the integrity.
Moving to China to be with my Cherry.
I thought you were just going over there to surprise her.
Putting this pub on the market.
LINDA: The others on this list.
Do you know anything about them? Hospital confirmed that four more of the kids are dead.
Find what you're looking for? Hands where we can see them.
Who are you? Get out.
I'm calling security.
Miss Hillier, I was paid by a third party to kill you.
- They killed them.
- (TASER FIZZES) We've had an anonymous tipoff regarding the marital status of Ms Blossom.
STAN: Let my wife go! I did warn you about going on the Stewart's panel, Cyn.
They shot at my me and my kids, Harry.
I need to find the migration agent at Meritus College.
SIMONE: Denis Bontempelli, Sydney Road, Brunswick.
You could start by telling me when Javed Nazeem was supposed to be deported.
Day after Lakshmi Agarwal died.
- They all were.
- And how many are we talking? 20, including the dead girl.
AJEET: (READS) "I have been made to feel so welcome here.
"This almost feels like home.
" The death certificate is dated before the letter.
How can that be? I have to bring Lakshmi home to put her ashes in the river.
Happiness is on its way.
I saw it written on a wall just outside your office.
I checked with the coroner's office.
There was no autopsy.
It's against the family's religion.
Really? WOMAN: No more warnings.
Enjoy the walk.
MAN: OK, Lakshmi, please rate the following on a scale of one to five, with one being 'strongly disagree' and five 'strongly agree'.
I wake up and get out of bed eager to start a new day.
Mm, four.
Maybe two on Mondays.
I refuse to give up, no matter how tough things get.
Five.
I feel irrationally upset at a close friend's success.
Er one.
Almost everyone lies on their tax returns.
Five, although in India, we just have very good accountants.
On a scale of one to ten, are you very happy, somewhat happy, not happy? With one being 11.
You may run on for a long time Run on for a long time You may run on for a long time Tell them God Almighty's gonna cut you down Tell them God Almighty's gonna cut you down Go tell that long-tongued liar Go and tell that midnight rider Tell the rambler, the gambler, the back-biter Tell them God Almighty's gonna cut 'em down Tell them God Almighty's gonna cut 'em down.
(PHONE RINGS) Irish.
Bernadette, how are you? No, I haven't quite had the chance to file with the Supreme Court yet.
I was thinking more your, sort of, garden variety, local council boundary surveyor.
Well, what are you planning on growing in your 6cm of extra land? No, I realise it's a much bigger issue.
Border protection.
Julian Burnside? You could see if he's available.
Possibly a little over-qualified for Geoffrey Robertson? Well, that's also a thought.
Possibly also a little bit over-qualified for a residential fence dispute.
No, no, I I take this very seriously.
You're accusing a government department of abduction.
Well, given the fact that I was abducted ten minutes after I left their building, then I'd say there's a connection.
Long bow.
Can you at least just run the plates? The car's in a paddock in Mansfield.
You know, it's a nice place, Mansfield.
I took the missus there once for a caravan holiday.
But, I've got to tell you, I don't get why people like caravan holidays.
You get everything and everyone that drives you nuts in your own house and you cram it all in one tiny little space.
I take it you're not going to follow up on this, then? Oh, no, I'm putting a 30-man unit on it as we speak, Jack.
I mean, this kind of case is exactly how we should spend our resources.
You ready for the team alignment meeting? Yeah, yeah, of course.
Yeah.
Good opportunity to leverage your core competency, Barry.
Yeah, great opportunity, Simon.
Can I at least have a glass of water? You know there's a filter under the sign that says 'Homicide Squad'.
Give us a call when they murder you, Jack.
Maybe then I can help you out.
Ah, lovely.
Thank you.
- I spoke to the Australian Embassy.
- Oh, yeah? The adoption's going to take forever.
It's a minefield of bureaucracy.
Maybe this loose arrangement's OK.
I can see Fatma whenever I want.
But, darling, the adoption is all you could talk about for a year.
I know, but it means going back to Melbourne, weathering millions of forms and countless interviews and even then there's no guarantee, so Who would have believed this? Someone in Manila has found my old glasses and incorporated them into this vegetable noodle dish.
And you thought those hideous things were lost.
Yes.
Yes, I did.
And then I said, "They might have fallen behind the bookcase," and you explained you'd already looked there.
Thoroughly.
And now they found their way into this dish.
Glass noodles.
(CHUCKLES) MAN: Your celebrant had uncompleted units in stagecraft and pastoral care.
Well, she had a, uh, a maypole and a ring box.
She was the real deal.
Except she wasn't registered.
But but Cherry is my wife, in name and in heart.
But not in law.
So what's? That's it, is it? You put a man's life to an end and you just say it's the law.
Well, who are you to judge me Ian Knight? Who are you to cast doubt on my marriage, on my love? Like I said, not a marriage if the celebrant has an incomplete Cert IV.
Ian.
Ian, do you walk through your door and feel a warmth rising from your ankles? Rising up until your entire body is glowing? Do you have someone to hold you at night, when the world around you is just spinning out of control? Who yells at you, Ian, when you mix the whites with the colours? Because that's what I had.
Everything alright there? You have to give my wife back her visa.
She's done nothing wrong.
Ms Blossom's place of residence was a pub with multiple bedrooms, where she was working seven days a week without a work permit.
- Yeah - Someone reported her, Mr Collins.
And unfortunately their suspicions are confirmed.
Someone who? I'm afraid that's classified.
(PHONE RINGS) - WOMAN 2: Hello? - Hi, my name's Jack Irish Who? Who the hell are you and what are you doing with my daughter's phone? I'm a friend of your father's.
I actually spoke at his funeral.
And I think I might have inherited something that belongs to you.
Inherited? What the hell are you talking about? What happened to you? Well, I got assaulted and thrown in the boot of a car.
And you tell me not to bullshit.
So you thought you'd just Airbnb at my place, did you? No, you pay for Airbnb.
I'm couchsurfing.
Right, so those dishes are just going to surf their way to the sink, are they? Eventually when they're ready.
Gulls migrate.
Salmon swim upstream.
Runaways return to their parents.
I just spoke to your mum on the phone.
Yeah, awesome.
Apparently you were supposed to be spending two weeks with your dad.
Listen, if there's some kind of issue there, or you want to talk about something Jesus! Seriously, please don't.
Whoa! Mate, have you got a, um, a shovel I could borrow? For all that manual labour that you do? No, I realised yesterday that I do not own one single piece of equipment that real men own.
Real men have tools, Jack, and I all have is a smash and blend juicer, a coffee machine and a battery-operated nasal hair trimmer.
You do realise it's a federal offence to open somebody else's mail, don't you? Yeah, it's a force of habit.
It's not like I read them.
Hey, mate, I had absolutely no idea that you were seeing a shrink.
Where are you going? For a swim upstream.
Alright, so back to your dad's? What's the shovel for? Men's Retreat.
You dig your own grave and lie in it.
And you're paying for this, are you? They say it's only when you look death in the eye that you can move forward with your life.
You should come along.
It's not cheap but it's a bargain compared to that.
Oh, you're kidding me.
(SCOFFS) I had a conference call at six.
The timetable isn't an exact science, Phillip.
What are they doing on there? My time, my rules.
(PHONE RINGS) If you boys are not off there in three seconds, the controllers go in the bin.
One, two Rory Finch.
- Rory, it's Jack.
- Oh, hi.
- Ah, I need to see you.
- Of course.
How about that place near your office at seven? Uh, yeah, I should be able to do that.
- Great.
- I'll see you soon.
Who was that? I've got to get down to the school.
I forgot it's Spencer's parent-teacher night.
Oh, no! Dad, Phillip's going to be making you dinner tonight, OK? No, I won't.
Changeover was at six.
You're on, I'm off.
Fine.
Then neither of us will go to parent-teacher.
I hope he hasn't put any onion in this.
No.
No, he hasn't.
Fine.
I'll go to parent-teacher.
Fine.
You go.
What's his teacher's name? I can't have onion! I'm making casseruola manzo.
It has onion in it.
Can you just pick it out for him? No, I can't take it out, it's finely chopped.
Oh, for God's sake, Phillip.
The man is dying.
Can you just humour him? Like I haven't been doing that my entire fucking life - See you soon, kids! - BOTH: Bye! I take it you don't have internet banking or private health insurance.
(CLEARS THROAT) So I'm assuming we're not here to discuss your mental health.
Look, 19 students who attended Meritus College with Eddie and Lakshmi were all deported the day after Lakshmi died.
One of them got away, and then he turns up at some random Doncaster office block waving a knife around.
Javed Nazeem.
Did you know him? He was all over the news.
Wasn't a patient of yours, was he? Is that a no? You really struggle with this whole confidentiality thing, don't you? Javed had something he wanted to tell me and our meeting got cut short, so I need to talk to him.
- So how do you plan on doing that? - Well, he's an illegal.
They'll be holding him in some detection centre before he's deported, I imagine.
No-one gets access to those places.
Oh, come on.
There's got to be a way, doesn't there? Why don't you just go to the police, Jack? - Tried that.
- Well, go to the media.
Tell them a private school and Immigration are doing dodgy deals.
Expose the bastards.
'Dodgy deal' doesn't really explain why Eddie Chin got murdered halfway through his delivery round, though, does it? How well did you know Eddie Chin? He was my courier.
So you're close with your garbage collector and your gas meter reader too, are you? Yes, they've promised to name their firstborn children after me.
- So I wanted to - So you're not doing Just so you know my husband and I, we're bird-nesting.
- Bird-nesting? - Mm-hm.
Keeping the family home intact while the parents are not together.
We fly in and out, and we ensure the kids have continuity and stability.
Like an oil rig for relationships.
Something like that.
With the occasional explosion.
OK.
I just wanted to be clear about my relationship status, so you didn't think that I was - Flirting with me? - No.
That would be unethical.
Oh, well, I think we can safely assume that at 300 bucks an hour, I am no longer your patient.
Dougie here's got something to say.
Haven't you, Dougie? Sorry about shooting up your place, Cyn.
There, he said it.
It was a moment of passion.
Fire in the belly, blood boiling and a man driven to the edge by injustice.
There's over $1,000 worth of damage.
On the positive side, Dougie used to be a plasterer.
I don't want him near my kids.
The man's a mouse, Cyn.
Look at him.
Does that look like a man who would have drugged horses? If he was, he wouldn't have shot at the ceiling.
He would have massacred the lot of you in your beds.
Oh, yeah, no, you're right, Harry.
Such admirable restraint.
Come on, Cyn.
Let the man repair your cornice.
Now he's apologised, it's your turn.
(PHONE RINGS) Jack.
How are you? I'm good.
How are you? Yeah, great.
Long time.
Yeah.
And given the word count of this conversation, maybe next time we should just text.
- Listen, I've got a story for you.
- Have you? - Yeah.
I think it's really big.
- Really? It's about a private college that's promising to educate international students.
- It's just taking their money.
- Jack, one, I'm in Manila.
There's been two deaths and a cover up so Two, all editors want is clickability, so you'll lose them on international students, dead or alive, unless one of them's a Kardashian.
Three, even if you expose corruption, someone will call it 'fake news'.
Do you know how I and 90% of all other journalists make money now? It's puff pieces.
Real investigative news died with the internet.
Are you not up-to-date with that invention yet? So that's a no, is it? - Yes.
- But that was a yes.
- Yes, that was a no, Jack.
- Linda - What's he got? - Oh, I don't know.
I don't care.
Really? - You didn't get the details? - (SCOFFS) Whatever happened to this beautiful woman who wandered on to my rooftop three years ago, insisting she was a serious, award-winning journalist? She met a lazy, ill-dressed man and it kind of ruined her life.
Oh, well, that's a shame.
She would have walked over hot coals for a real story.
If you could get off my case literally.
I've got a flight to catch and a much more important story to tell about Devi Gupta's new musical.
Wait.
Wait, I've got something.
Here.
I found it in a cereal box.
Nearly choked on it.
Thought you might find a use for it.
I spoke to the embassy.
Why didn't you tell me they wanted us to be married? You'd do that for her? I'd do it for you.
Well, come on.
Don't make me wait.
My knees might not survive.
And I can get money back on the ring if I return it in 24 hours.
WOMAN: (ON TV) And in some other news, the Minister for Homeland Security has announced that Doncaster terrorist and illegal immigrant, Javed Nazeem, will be deported to India within the next 48 hours.
MINISTER: Well, this is another example of why this government has increased vital safeguards.
Thorough screening is of utmost importance to national security.
Without such security measures in place, we open our doors to the threat of terrorism.
This government is committed to ensuring events of this nature Psst! Drew, is that you? MAN: He's in number three.
Oh, OK.
Thanks, mate.
Drew! Fuck! It's Jack.
Jack? Well, you You can't go calling out a bloke's name when he's lying in a grave.
I thought you were God.
You nearly gave me a heart attack.
- At least you're prepared.
- You're too late, mate.
We spent all afternoon digging these things.
- It's not like there's a spare.
- It's OK.
Listen, how do I get into a detention centre? You drove all the way out here to ask me that? - You're a lawyer.
- Yeah, I do conveyancing.
You've had more experience with these kind of cases.
Listen, there's a guy on terrorism charges, so the usual drill is they question him for days, they get a list of his contacts, he goes to trial and then they ship him back, right? Yes.
- Well, they're not doing any of that.
- Shh! Ohh.
I'm trying to die here! (WHISPERS) How do I get to talk to him? Well, you can't.
The detainee has to ask for your services directly, on an official form, in writing, in triplicate.
And how does he do that from detention? Oh, precisely.
They make it impossible for the poor bastards to get representation.
Right.
How long are you planning on being dead? Got another 12 hours.
Then apparently you reach breaking point and discover what's really of value in your life.
Right.
A comfortable bed, I'd imagine.
(CLEARS THROAT) You don't happen to have a throat lozenge on you by any chance, do you? Shh! We're supposed to be dead.
That guy's been a pain in the arse since we got here.
(SHOUTS) Relax, mate, you're going to ruin the experience! Alright.
- Rest in peace.
- Yeah.
- You sure one's enough, Jack? - I can get more.
There's a whole hand where this came from.
Hi, Denis.
I thought we were quid pro quo last time? Yeah, just a couple more questions.
I'm calling the police.
Sure.
Dialling finger.
I told you everything I know last time.
I reckon you probably know more than you think.
You might surprise yourself, Denis.
It's amazing the amount of knowledge people pick up over a lifetime.
I often know the answers on quiz shows.
Now, when the students arrive in the country, you hold their passports here, is that right? The height of Mount Kosciuszko.
They asked that once.
I knew it.
2,228 metres.
Bloke didn't know.
But when they leave the country, they obviously take their passports with them, yeah? If they don't leave the country and they go on the run perhaps, like Javed Nazeem, for example, his passport still remains here with you, I imagine.
How do you feel about writing a little letter for me, to the Admissions Officer? Use them or fucking lose them, Denis.
To the Admissions Officer I, Javed Nazeem "I, Javed Nazeem" appoint the services of Jack Irish LLB to represent me in a matter ".
.
pertaining to my current status of detention.
"I declare that I, as a resident of India, visited Australia" UNC3462's already got a court-appointed attorney.
- UNC? - Unlawful non-citizen.
Next.
Hang on, Javed Nazeem contacted me.
He's not happy with that appointment so he's exercising his right to a private option.
I mean, why would I have his passport if I wasn't representing him? You're going to have to wait a lifetime to get that approved.
I'm not in a hurry, mate.
(TELEPHONE RINGS) You sure? Really? OK.
Jack Irish.
Sign in.
Place your phone and keys in the tub.
Uh, can I use your pen? (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) Javed, I'm not sure if you remember me.
I'm I'm Jack Irish.
We were supposed to meet.
Shakti said you had something to tell me.
Do you remember what that was? (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) Javed.
Javed, can you speak English, mate? You might be the last person around who can help me.
(SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) I don't know what you're saying, mate.
- Hey! - It's OK.
What is that? (LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY) Javed? (SPEAKS OWN LANGUAGE) Aah! (WHIMPERS) Jack.
We need to talk.
I'm required by law to sign a privacy document.
The government needs an independent mental health assessment of detainees before deportation.
I've been called in on numerous occasions I specifically asked you I specifically told you that I couldn't tell you.
So you were brought in to assess the students being deported.
Who exactly is on trial here? I don't know.
You tell me.
I protect the privacy of vulnerable people because I care about them, Jack.
That's my job.
Now, forgive me for putting them ahead of you and your completely unofficial investigation.
Well, then you should be concerned to know that Javed Nazeem is seemingly in some permanent psychosis.
- They let you see him? - Yeah.
How did you get into a detention centre? - What did you prescribe him? - Nothing.
He was like that when I found him.
I asked to see his medical chart.
He'd been prescribed an extremely high dose of Clozapine on admission.
It's it's an anti-psychotic.
And who gave him that? I don't know.
The chart wasn't signed.
The chart wasn't signed? Don't you think that's weird? Whoever it was clearly didn't want Javed telling anybody what he knows.
Jack I know it's hard, when you see injustice, to walk away, especially given your past Oh, don't psychoanalyse me, please.
I don't want another bill.
All I'm saying is the challenge for you moving forward is to know when to let things go.
Well, that's the best advice you've given me, so thank you.
(HORSES WHINNYING AND INDISTINCT PA ANNOUNCEMENTS) I'm going to back Dandelion Dreamer.
8/1.
She's got good form coming in.
Jack, if I ever want racing tips from you, check me into a home.
Put your money on Crimson Tide for a place.
- It's long bloody odds.
- Jack, trust the experts.
Yeah, alright.
COMMENTATOR: Dandelion Dreamer's hanging on from Serendipity and Dandelion Dreamer's just going to win from Serendipity.
Midnight Boss has got third with Crimson Tide wide out finishing fourth.
Looks like you owe me 300 bucks, Harry.
I really could have used that money.
We have a call for jockey B.
Cavelli, the rider of Dandelion Dreamer, to attend the steward's room as soon as possible.
Cavelli weighed in light.
Dandelion's disqualified, which bumps Crimson Tide up to third.
Give the man 1,500.
Well played, Jack.
Spend it wisely.
Two trainers banned One, plus Dougie.
Now B.
Cavelli out for 20 meets.
It's got to be building up to something big.
This stinks, even for racing.
Yeah, but he's a, you know, thorough operator.
I mean, doping and fiddling with weights.
What's going to be his next scam? Did you see anyone else put money on Crimson Tide? There was a woman and her daughter put on a couple of thousand.
Someone must have paid you well to weigh in light, Bruce.
It's got nothing to do with me, Cam.
Someone must have fiddled with me saddlecloth.
Got somewhere to be, do you? Just going home to the missus.
Ibiza? Spain.
Nice this time of year.
Yeah, my weather app reckons 28 every day.
So you choose the middle of the racing season to piss off overseas and have a holiday? Someone must have paid you well.
I'm telling you the truth.
She didn't pay me anything.
Harry.
Three o'clock.
I'd recognise those pins anywhere.
It's not a good idea to start bullshitting me, you little ferret.
Mr Agarwal, please accept my sincerest apologies.
The coroner told us the delay was due to a bureaucratic bungle with customs.
And they She has been sitting on a shelf without an address.
I see.
Lakshmi was a beautiful girl, Mr Agarwal.
She can now find the peace she deserves.
Who gave you that? The college.
Why the hell would they have them? Mrs Khurana.
She told me there were issues with customs.
I know I'm just a poor man, but I'm not a fool.
Lakshmi's letter, a lie.
College, accommodation, all, everything, lies.
How can I believe anything they tell me now? Jack you're the only one who I can trust.
Please, take this.
And you find out the truth for me, hm? How long are you here for, Ajeet? My flight is tomorrow.
Three.
Oh, right.
Um Listen, why don't I pick you up at 12, eh? But I will not leave without Lakshmi.
Irish.
What now? Well, apparently she spent the night in a clothing bin.
You said you were going to your dad's.
You said you were locked in a car boot.
Thanks.
Who's that? It may or may not be an Indian girl who's walked in front of a bus.
I don't know why I bother asking.
This your dad's place? Gus.
You don't have to come in.
Oh, actually I think I might.
Nice house.
You really think it's OK to keep breaking into people's homes that aren't yours? - I didn't.
- So who are they then? That's not your family, is it? Gus, give me your dad's number.
I'm going to call him.
Gus.
Gus! Is this your dad? - Where is he? - Bali.
With his wife and their kids.
Why didn't you go with them? Didn't want to go.
Why don't you stay here all the time? Big house to yourself.
Every teenager's dream, isn't it? Like you said it's not my home.
(PHONE RINGS) RECEPTIONIST: Kensington Street Medical Centre.
One moment, please.
Well, I pride myself on restoring my patients back to full health, Jack, but this might be beyond me.
I need someone to find out if they're human for me.
I take it this is not a property dispute case.
No.
Listen, my neck's still giving me a bit of grief.
I'm sure it is.
Well, give me something, will you? There are a thousand doctors who would.
You have to ask yourself why you keep coming back to me.
Yeah, I do ask myself that.
Hourly.
I spoke to your psychiatrist, Jack.
A lovely woman and a highly-regarded doctor who is very interested in your wellbeing.
We both decided that prescription medicine was not the solution to your woes.
Let's just hope she can sort you out before you turn into these.
(PHONE RINGS) Yeah? Yes, OK.
What about some of this? Whatever this is.
Just because I take their merchandise doesn't mean I prescribe their drugs.
Take it.
Might prevent skin cancer.
- Great.
- (ALARM BEEPS) What are you doing? Hello, Daddy.
Hello, is Cherry Blossom there? No, but I could be Cherry Blossom if you want me to be.
Oh.
Oh, don't be shy.
What's your name, big boy? Hey, you got to feel for the poor bugger.
He'll get over it.
Yeah, but it's not easy having your wife scuttle off like that.
Yeah.
But at the same time - Yeah? - .
.
pies are back.
Yeah.
Uh, everyone, this is Gus.
- Gus is Charlie's grand-daughter.
- Ah! Gus, meet Eric, Wilbur and Stan.
Hi, Gus.
At least if you set fire to this place, Stan will get the insurance for it.
What? Can I have my usual and a lemonade? Thanks.
Uh, yeah.
So, you want to tell me why you tried to burn down a perfectly good doctor's surgery? "Gus is depressed.
"Gus has an eating disorder.
Gus isn't coping.
" They never think they're the ones with the problem and I'm the one who has to deal with it.
Well, maybe you should tell them that.
Have you talked to Mum? What about your dad? Nah, he's a dick.
Well, maybe I could talk to him.
He's not interested, OK? He's got a new family.
Mum thinks he looks after me but I never stay with him.
Whenever I came over for the school holidays, I always stayed with Opa.
At least he didn't talk.
Unless you count personal criticism, and half of it being in German.
Yeah.
He only did that to people he liked.
Well, I'm sure he did it to you, then, too.
He was pretty harsh about my dovetail joints.
He was harsh about every one of my joints.
(GERMAN ACCENT) "You call zis a finger joint? Is it wearing mittens?" - WEB STRIPPER: Oh, hello, Daddy.
- No! No! Go away.
It's good to see you again.
Wrong number.
How about you try an underscore between 'Cherry' and 'Blossom'? Underscore, you reckon, eh? OK.
- Oh, there? - Mm-hm.
OK.
OK.
Oh, thank you, Gus.
Oh, uh.
Yes, mate, is there a Cherry Blossom there? What's he saying? Sounds like he's going on about what a great son-in-law you are.
There is a canker in our midst.
An infection in the vein.
An ulcer in the muscle.
Someone rang the authorities about Cherry.
And if there is one thing I will not tolerate at the Prince, it's treason! Mark my words, I will find out who it was.
Because once you've had what I've had, you fight for it.
Cherry and me have got the kind of love, well, they write songs about it.
You're not gonna sing one for us, though, are you, Stan? - No! - (THEY LAUGH) Oh, yes.
No, yeah, yeah.
That's right, laugh at my expense.
Do you even know what love is, Jack? The answer is no, and I'll tell you why.
Because you have the emotional life of an amoeba.
Ohh! Well, I'm on your side with this one, Stan.
No bloody idea.
Although that's not really fair to the amoeba.
- Come on, Gus, let's go.
- I'm fine here.
Yeah, yeah, look, the lass can stay with us, Jack.
Yeah.
Well, it's been a long time since I've had the pleasure of the company of a young lady.
- (PHONE VIBRATES) - Hey, boss.
RAZOR RAY: How'd you go with the limo company? Got a hold of the client's address.
I'm just outside her window at the moment.
- Hey! - Oi! Oof! I got to go.
Harry, red jacket.
Our mystery woman loves golf and is extremely close to her daughter.
- HARRY: Ricky bloody Kirsch! - Yep.
(MOBILE RINGS) Irish.
DR GREAVES: Just confirming the tree is dead.
What? Your property dispute case.
I got the results back.
Oh, right.
And? Nothing human in those ashes.
Right.
Thought so.
Oh, and Jack, the forensic testing cost $300.
Yeah, course it did.
What's the pick-up address? Hang on, hang on, hang on.
Yep.
I'm sorry about the fire in the bin, too.
See you.
So not a fun day today? It's Wednesday.
Wouldn't it be more efficient if everybody hated their work? Because then they'd rush through it to get home quicker.
Hey, have you ever read the Harvard Study on Happiness? Negative energy is contagious, so if you haven't got anything positive to say, maybe you could leave.
Even if you do, could you still leave? Listen, I found this list inside a pen.
It's got all the deported student names on it Hey, Meredith? Hey, I don't really think you put in much effort last week.
I mean, it's not a criticism.
It is just an observation.
What do you reckon all the A's and P's are? I don't know, Jack.
Academic grades, probably.
Now, no matter what your opinion of the theme, Miles, the key word here is participation.
What is Outlander, anyway? It is a ground-breaking feminist time travel series that subverts the male gaze.
Look, I know you and your boyfriend are having issues, Jason, but maybe instead of bringing those into work, you could bring in a kilt and a smile.
Anyway, about the list.
Will you take a look? I'll give you a call.
RICKY KIRSCH: When you can't go to Ibiza, let Ibiza come to you, I say.
Dig in, Bruce.
You decided to share our little secret, did you, Brucey? - I didn't say nothing.
- No? Then why was the man you were talking to at the races in my front garden? Dunno.
(SCREAMS) (HOWLS IN PAIN) That's what you get when you cross Ricky Kirsch! Jennifer.
Mr Agarwal? Now you think you can just fob me off? Please don't lie to me.
OK, I am not lying to you, Mr What are you doing? What? (SCREAMS) (PHONE RINGS) Yep? - Jack? - Yeah.
The names on the list.
I can send you their student files and the courses they studied but I can't trace them to India.
You'll need someone on the ground.
There are 500 Neerja Mangeshkars in Uttar Pradesh alone.
- Well, thanks for trying.
- Wait, Jack.
There's something else.
Hi.
This is a bit of a long shot.
I'm trying to track someone down.
Name? If I had his name, I wouldn't need to track him down.
He's written this list.
Uh, what did he look like? Uh, male, Caucasian, middle-aged, sort of brown hair.
Hardly any of them around here.
Yeah.
I don't suppose he was wearing a white lab coat? 'Cause that'd really narrow it down.
Thanks.
(BABY SCREAMS, TV BLARES) You ready? Don't want to miss your flight.
I told you, Jack.
I will not leave without Lakshmi.
Come on, Ajeet.
Pack your bags.
There's nothing more you can do, mate.
(GROANS) Run! Run! What the fuck? Sorry.
Let's go to the airport, eh? I promised my wife, and now I go home with nothing.
If I cannot bring her home to the family, that's it, she will be lost forever.
WOMAN: (OVER PA) Passengers flying Air India Flight 205 to Mumbai, proceed to gate number one for boarding.
I promise you.
We'll get to the bottom of this.
As they say, Ms Hillier, what happens on set stays on set.
So you won't confirm your on-set romance with co-star Sunni Kamal? How do you keep in shape for such strenuous dance routines? Thank you so much for asking.
I practice hatha yoga every morning for two hours.
Oh! But can I tell you the real secret behind my glowing appearance? I'm sure you're going to.
It is my new range of skin care products, Aloe Sundar.
This moisturiser keeps my skin nourished, even under the harshest of studio lights.
You can get it directly from my website Could you excuse me for one moment? Sorry.
Thanks.
Bye.
(PHONE RINGS) Yeah? Yeah, I'll do it.
Give me the details.
Oh, great.
Well, there's 18 people I need to locate in India.
India? Yeah, I need to know if they're alive and if they're not, how they've died.
You want me to travel 5,000km to locate 18 people in a country of 1.
3 billion? - Uh, yeah.
- OK, fine.
You'll cover my travel and expenses, right? Um, yeah, fair enough.
When can you leave? You're lucky.
I'm already here on a stupid junket anyway.
Take a screenshot of the names and MMS me all the details, yeah? Oh Just ask Simone.
Yeah.
Thanks.
I'm not going to ask.
I'll just get this then, will I? Hm.
Couch surfing? Mm.
- Hi.
- Hi.
Can we? I just wanted to say I'm sorry about the unsolicited psychoanalysis.
It's a defence mechanism.
You were right.
I was flirting with you and I really shouldn't have been.
I have kids.
I have a full-time job.
Anything happening between you and me is completely out of the question.
I mean, I dissect these things for a living.
An affair is basically just about the first kiss.
That forbidden illicit moment.
After that it's all downhill.
I don't want to waste my time thinking about you when I'm with my patients or doing my kids' homework.
What's the point, when in a few months it's just going to be over in some sordid hotel with? Yeah.
Yeah, that's all we needed to do, really.
Maybe just one more to be sure? There's trouble brewing and it's my duty to put it right.
The integrity of racing is in jeopardy.
Oh, not the integrity.
Moving to China to be with my Cherry.
I thought you were just going over there to surprise her.
Putting this pub on the market.
LINDA: The others on this list.
Do you know anything about them? Hospital confirmed that four more of the kids are dead.
Find what you're looking for? Hands where we can see them.
Who are you? Get out.
I'm calling security.
Miss Hillier, I was paid by a third party to kill you.