Jailbirds (2019) s01e03 Episode Script

We’re All Criminals

1 So literally, we came down the street and right when I got to about here is when I seen the police lights and they were all lit up in the gas station.
My cousin's car was pulled up to this pump here, and his body was laying out, just slightly to the left onto the ground.
So when I got out the car, I basically dropped to my knees and I believe I screamed, because it was one of those where you're like, "Somebody I grew up with! Somebody I I love and watched grow up, they're gone.
They're just sitting there.
They're gone.
" And it just kind of spoke out to me because I had a decision whether I was gonna be angry and go a different route or if I was going to do something positive with it, and I decided to do something positive with it.
I always thought to myself, "If I was ever to get arrested, I would want somebody like me to arrest me.
" Putting on that uniform and knowing I'm about to tackle another day I get excited.
I actually am very proud of where I came from, 'cause I've been in certain situations to where it molded me into the person I am today.
And I think having those type of experiences plays well into the career that I chose.
Being a cop is what I'm supposed to be doing.
Good morning! Hey.
How you doing? Turner's here! Turner! I see! I love her.
They caught me Me and my wife was getting ready to have sex.
Oh, oh, Jesus.
The parole was banging on the front door, "State Parole! State Parole!" And I was telling my wife, "Ay, let's just finish.
They they don't have the key.
They're not able to get in.
" So they were like, "We have the key! We're coming in!" And I was like, "Oh, shit.
" So I peeked around the corner, and I was like, - "I'm naked! Lemme get dressed.
" - They don't give a damn.
And they're coming, they're like, "Step out! Step out!" I'm like, "I got my dick on!" They came around the corner with the tasers, my titties is bouncing around, I'm trying to put a shirt on, they let me put the shirt on, but my pants is halfway down, the dick's flapping around.
All I kept saying was, "Please don't rip my dick! Don't rip it!" You are disgusting.
You're killing me with this weenie thing.
It's a true story.
Hi.
I'm just doing a floor check really fast.
Law enforcement is all I know.
My whole family is in law enforcement.
I do want to help people.
I do want to make a difference.
Even if it's just for one person.
Here at the Branch there's probably, on the average, about 2,000 inmates.
Most of the people usually get booked at the Main Jail.
Once they get sentenced, they'll come out to us.
Inmates are in here with people that they don't necessarily like.
There's different ways of living.
They're in here, so whether they're best friends or they're fighting, everything is very intense.
But I didn't say shit like that.
You think I'm gonna lie? I've always been raw with that bitch.
They said you were talking shit about me.
I don't look at you like that.
You think you can trust people sometimes, then you live with them, you get to know somebody real quick.
It's like a giant slumber party, I told you.
It is.
It's hard to stay positive when you're in jail, especially in this shithole.
Friends make it a little bit easier.
It's an obnoxious slumber party for sure, but it's still like I feel like we're all sisters.
We're like a big fucked up family.
Here, I'm like How long you been in here? Since June 29th.
That don't drive you crazy? Yeah, it does.
Like, from three-meter cells to this is like Hella different.
It's too much.
I'm like, "I wanna go back to my my box.
" I've been out in the Branch for a little over a week.
I just can't get into the program here.
Going outside, I was freaking out.
The moon looked weird, the stars, everything.
'Cause I haven't seen nothing.
I've been stuck in my box.
I don't wanna see it all.
I'll see when I get out.
- I can't sleep during the day.
- It's too loud.
It's too loud at night.
Turn the lights out at least.
Do you want them to get you the Tempur-Pedic - and maybe a hot cocoa before bed? - I do! - Rub my back.
- Right? I get out in three days and I can just taste my baby girl.
I'm gonna smack you.
I just miss her to death.
My fucking my fat ass can't even get over the wall anymore.
Aw! - Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.
I'm not trying to fucking have no problems or bullshit in here 'cause I got a kid who's way more important than any of this.
Quiet! Name? Face-to-name locator? They have little cards with our name on 'em, horrible pictures, and then they try to match the people to their cards, to their band as they call your name.
I look angry.
I look like I would eat somebody's brains.
It's really depressing, 'cause I used to be beautiful, and look at what I did to my face.
My charges are drug charges, but I currently have a domestic violence um, case with my ex Aaron.
At first, it was fun.
He was sweet and he was younger than me, so I'm like, "Ooh, okay!" You know? And he made me feel loved.
But then I found out that he was, like, sleeping and talking with four other girls.
Tayler, I don't know her.
I know it's his bitch that he met on the bowl.
Tayler called my cell phone from the jail looking for Aaron.
Pretty sure I told her, "You can have him.
" I might have called her a bitch.
He's done enough damage to me.
I don't want it no more.
If you look at my nose it's like looks like a curve ball's been thrown down it.
And it's not the first time he's beat the living shit out of me, but it's the first time that I told the cops, because I think he's going to kill me.
He had just gotten out of jail.
We start fighting.
He tackles me to the ground, and he punched me.
He stabbed me in the back, like right where my heart is.
How do you love somebody and do that? So I went to the hospital, and they called the cops.
Is that the scar? I've never seen it before.
It's where A1 stabbed me.
I don't wish jail or imprisonment on anybody, 'cause it's not fun in here.
But he's an animal.
And certain animals need to be caged.
Hi ho nobody home Love nor hope nor honor have I none Yet I will be merry Hi ho Lost in ambitions It was 10,000.
This year, it's nothing.
The worst part about the whole resisting arrest thing is, like, every time, they're automatically with, like, guns in your face.
Like, on the ground.
No, I just say, "I'm black, but don't shoot me!" I swear to God, I have a homie on the streets, when he puts his arms up like this, it says "don't shoot" on his arms.
Oh, my God! When I went to court on the 1st of June, they told me they wanted to give me 30 days with half, and I didn't take it.
What? - Oh, my God! - That's what my wife was saying.
My wife thinks, she thinks that if we go to trial, that we can win, or they're just going to drop the case 'cause they don't have a case.
Okay, I don't know what happened, but know this: When you push it to the box, they give you the max if you lose.
I know, but what she's thinking it's not gonna make it that far.
I think I'm gonna go with what my wife says and take it to trial, which is only going to drag it out probably another year-and-a-half.
I'm tired of parole.
I'm tired of coming to jail and I'ma do what I have to do.
Hey, bubble butt.
Hi.
Um I just wanted to tell you I love you.
I love you, too.
I was talking to some girls in here, and they didn't think I could beat it in trial, but Yeah but he rough-handled you, you weren't even resisting arrest.
I've never had to deal with this.
These people are different in here, these is like wild baboons.
That's why I'm gonna go to trial and we're gonna win.
I can't handle any more jail time.
None.
Okay, you going to put some more money on the phone? No, I haven't got Yeah, I'm gonna I'll figure it out.
I'll figure it out like I always do.
O-okay, and I'll make it, uh, I'll make that last.
I'm bringing home my honey buns to you, 'cause I-only, only honey buns I want are yours.
Oh, God.
A couple days and then I get out.
I can't wait to see my wife and being able to hold her.
We have a lot of sexual chemistry.
Oh yeah, we're humping.
I dunno if we're gonna hump in the car.
Or, um, it depends on if she's driving, if somebody else is driving.
We still might hump in the car.
Okay, well, I love you forever.
And I'll see you in a couple days.
I'll let you know what happens, okay? - Okay.
- All right, love you.
I love you, too.
Bye.
I had to hit her with that, you know, "Babe, I just wanna call you and tell you I love you.
" Slick.
That's my honey bun.
If she's your honey bun, can I be your honey bunch? Set it off, set it off - Knock 'em down.
Clothes-line on the break.
- Break! Down, hut! I still have the kite that you wrote me when I first came to Yeah, because we was not friends, 'cause I just beat up Booda.
What did you call her? "What did that man-looking-ass-bitch say?" I was dead.
That's 'cause we wasn't friends at first.
What're you gonna do when you get out tomorrow? Probably pick up my kids first.
I get out in less than, like, seven hours.
I'm counting down for real.
Here we go! But, like, I'm kind of worried about getting out, actually, and I don't want it to make me fall back on my sobriety - and my recovery at all.
- Right.
I'm nervous to get out, too.
Only because everything got taken from me like that.
I'm not here for no drug charges or no weirdo shit.
I'm here because I actually did something to somebody.
I got four assaults with a deadly weapon.
A crowbar and a bat.
Even though the bat was hers, but the crowbar was mine.
I real I have anger issues.
I lived in the mountains in Humboldt County, up north.
I did not grow up in a fun, loving home.
It was very dysfunctional.
We shot deer, skinned it, and ate it, and I used to run in the dirt and play in the river and be like a little tomboy.
My mom and my stepdad had a drug and alcohol problem.
So, just me and my older sister taking care of my two little sisters.
One day, we were 13, driving the minivan.
We crashed it in the cemetery.
I got arrested and I went to juvenile hall.
And it just made me very angry.
I just felt like I was not wanted.
I didn't have no friends, no family.
I was just very angry with the world.
Growing up alone is a lot harder than growing up with love.
- You better email me.
- I will email you.
I love you.
I don't care about none of these females.
At the end of the day, none of them are coming home with me, except for you.
Hopefully Drea got her probation hold lifted and got bail.
- I don't too much give a fuck about Drea.
- I know.
That's why I got a full set of pearly whites.
Bitch, your teeth are about to fall out, bro.
You look like a duck, bitch.
That's why I snatched your bitch then, right? Get a life, bitch! Get a life.
You gotta learn something from what you do.
Feel me? That's why this jail shit, I'm used to it.
I'm going to get the lottery bunkie, and probably gonna get some fucking crackhead.
Lottery bunkie.
That game is so fun.
- I don't want no crackhead in my room.
- It's so fun.
My last bunkie at the county, she was coming down bad, bro.
I know.
I remember her.
She would bare her teeth at me and tell me I'ma get mine.
I'd rather be at the Main Jail.
I left behind Dolla.
So sad.
That's sad.
I wanna talk to him really bad.
I can do jiggy with the chickens, dial Big Riches Lei Lei Chicken, so what's up? Speaking about my chicken, where the fuck my food? Here you go, sis.
Fuck it up, sis.
'Cause I'm still hungry.
Fuck it up, bitch.
It's just like she in here trying to knock snow, I'm in here trying to knock snow - White bitches.
- Snow means a white bitch.
- Let's hit on snow! - Come on! - Snow! - You guys are so bad.
We need white bitches.
We like white bitches.
White bitches get to the money.
That's why you guys are locked away.
'Cause you're bad as fuck.
White bitch! - Come on.
- Snow! Shit, we could have a whole rainbow in this motherfucker.
We don't discriminate.
Oh, not at all.
- Oh, mama, we can't.
- We don't discriminate.
We can't.
We love 'em all.
I started gang-banging at a young age.
I got into a lot of fights.
Bitch, don't say my motherfucking name, bitch! Yes, a lot of fights.
Like I said, bitch, the door's popped.
Don't say shit to me, bud.
Period.
When I do the things I do, I don't necessarily think that I'm committing a crime.
It was like a rush to do the things that I was doing and I'm actually getting away with it, and you know, like something fun.
I'm here now because I have some out-of-county warrants.
I have grand theft charges, embezzlement charges.
I just been on some boosting shit.
It's kind of like a get-rich-real-quick scheme.
Bro, I'm not gonna incriminate myself.
I'm just going to call myself a pitbull in a skirt.
You know what I'm saying? Once, um, I get my felonies and everything cleared, and I'm off of parole, I do plan to change.
My dreams was to own my own business someday.
My mom, like, she kind of inspired me because she owned her own nail shop in Oakland.
I definitely have no plans of being in jail.
Y'all want to see my This My man be writing me y'all, front and backs.
He call me his little mama in this kite.
He told me that he going to eat my treasure in this kite.
- Oh! - So I'm excited about that.
Mm-hmm.
This is all from my man.
Dolla.
Bruh, that's daddy.
He make my body tingle.
He got me scared.
He in here for attempted murder.
That's my sexy dad.
In here, conversation is everything.
Katrina moved to the Branch.
You know, I didn't have no number to call to check up on her.
She hadn't contacted me.
So, you know, I got to move on.
Ebony helped me in my time when I was mad and stuff like that.
Helped me talk about my situation, my problems, and it just, I dunno, we just clicked like that.
We was comfortable with each other.
We just clicked.
That's my sexy dad.
Tayler Coatney and Shayna Wimberly were caught doing third-party communication.
Both of them are workers and they were communicating with a male inmate off of Eight East.
She would be calling maybe, like, her sister or mother, mother or sister would then email an inmate that's in here and sending 'em a message back and forth.
It's important for security purposes that we stopped that type of communication.
So both of them were fired and then moved over to Seven West.
It's fucked up, like I was in the 100 pod, I had wrote his mom a letter saying "I'm not fucking with her son no more.
Let him know I'm cool.
I don't want to lose my job.
" - The guy up on Eight? - Yeah.
So the cops stripped my room, found the pictures of Louis.
Mm-hmm.
Tried to tell me that I had pills in the room All kinds of shit, right? Made it up.
And I had, like, five charges on my write-up.
And I got five days of discipline.
I did my discipline.
And it's like, fuck.
I'm like, I just want my job back.
- I can look into it for you.
- Okay.
- I appreciate it.
Thank you.
- No problem.
Alright, take care.
Thank you.
You, too.
Nay, I don't wanna be out here.
Can I come out with her? - No.
- I wanna come out! I miss her.
They separated us.
They made her a medium and me a high.
So we couldn't be uh, cellies.
In jail, some people are phony, some people ain't like me.
That's why in here I truly don't make friends.
However, Tayler is one of them, but she doesn't come out with me no more.
So I've been feeling alone lately.
You know what I mean? And I've been stressed out for my husband.
My husband, he's looking at 25 to life.
He has, like, three different charges.
Tampering with a witness, I was thinking, like, "I'm going to go be a wife and go save my husband," supposedly, you know? But I didn't do nothing but harm him more and get him charged with another charge.
While I was on the phone with my husband as him being in custody, I'm just recorded at the whole time at the witness's house.
- So - What did you say on the phone? My husband got charged with car theft on a female.
So then, I went to the girl's house.
Last house on the left.
Okay.
- You'll see a broken-up car in the front.
- Yeah.
Hold on, baby.
You gonna come holla at me real quick.
You need to come holla at me real quick.
You feel me? I just came over here to talk to you woman to woman.
He's in there for GTA.
You feel me? For your car.
Can you do me one favor, blood and please call and at least drop them charges? You would do that for me? I'm gonna have my baby in two months.
I need my nigga home.
You would do that? So I'ma leave.
And check your charges, and if the shit's still on there, then I'm just gonna come back and it's gonna be a problem.
He wanted me to be on the phone with him, but now we're both co-dees on tampering with a witness.
I have family and my older sister.
We're very close, but in here, I never really get to see anybody.
I haven't been in my kids' life for five years.
I used to be upset at the people that had my kids 'cause they kept them from me.
But now I tell them thank you, because they didn't want them to have the same life like I did.
I know I'm still young, and I know that I want to actually make it out of here and make the right decisions this time, but everything's been mostly, like, about my husband because he's looking at three strikes, so, um Right now, I don't know what I'm looking at.
Go ahead and step in the bathroom.
I hope this fits.
You have to show up at court on this date.
So, go ahead and sign on the yellow line.
I'll give you a copy.
Hi, babe.
I'm getting released.
- Oh, my God.
- You'll get me from downtown? You promise? - Okay.
- Okay, I'll call you when I get downtown.
- Stay outta trouble.
- Okay.
When the females do get to leave, my hopes are so high that they are gonna make a change, and, you know, things are gonna be better for them, and they're gonna make better choices.
Is one step at a time Too much for your mind Being in here gave me a lot of time to think about my marriage and what I want to do and how I want a happy life.
First thing I'm going to do is probably kiss my wife.
I can't wait.
I'm gonna go start my life and put this behind me.
Wake up A storm is rising That your eyes are hiding That your eyes are hiding What happened with Do you have - a dope case or something, right? - Well, I was approached by an inmate and she had expressed that she had some information regarding some drugs inside of our One of our facilities here.
But in return, she would like to speak with her boyfriend - who is currently in custody here as well.
- Okay.
Hopefully she's not just playing us and we'll get good information.
- Find some contraband.
- Yeah.
- Absolutely.
- If she doesn't give us anything, - then she's not gonna see her boyfriend.
- Okay.
We're gonna make the rest of them go to yard and then I'm gonna use one of the holding tanks for the PCs.
- We're moving GP first.
- GP first, okay.
Let's go.
All right, ladies, back it up! - Back it up! - Back it up! Back it up! Get up, get fully dressed.
Just county-issued clothing.
Don't be digging in anything else.
Is there any drugs? Just say it now.
I'm looking for heroin.
Oh, no.
I don't have any You guys aren't lying, are you? Drugs come in our facility in all different ways.
Body cavities, or they'll just put 'em in property and think deputies won't search.
Or, it even comes through the mail.
Lights on! This gonna be cleaned up.
We have found inmate-made weapons, shanks They have ways to make alcohol.
They'll make pruno with fruit and bread and sugar.
Eat it at chow time, otherwise it comes back.
- So they're trying to game the system.
- Pretty much.
O M G.
This is nasty.
Oh, my God.
I'm gonna gag.
I can't be in here.
All right, we're done.
We found a lot of fruit, a lot of clothing, a lot of extra blankets, but we didn't find any other serious contraband.
There weren't any illegal drugs.
You know, I'm feeling like this is kind of bullshit.
Why are we getting shook down when I was in the middle of a good letter? You were in a good nap.
There was a drug problem - There was - There is.
- I don't know nothing about that.
- I don't either.
- I do.
- Of course you do! I do know it wasn't in our dorm, that's all that matters.
Teddy B! Team Teddy! Yeah, I'm ready for you, baby.
Hurry up and come and get this.
Some contraband.
It tastes like alcohol.
- Is it coming? - Yeah.
It's kinda thick.
Got it.
We call it the Hell of the Hillary.
Yeah, I'm starting feel it.
Lemme put that down.
It's a mixture of Seroquel, Benadryl, Trazodone, and Remeron.
You have to crush 'em with a little bit of toothpaste, a little bit of water, and then some leftover orange juice.
It takes the minty out of it and make it taste more like alcohol.
What you do is you just sip on it throughout the day and it makes your time go by faster or slower.
Whichever, you know? You can taste the sleep.
When you have a real concoction, you'll start hallucinating, seeing, your toilet paper is crawling away from you.
.
Now sip it and tell me if it don't taste like alcohol.
Ooh! I dig that! - That shit's strong.
- I told you! See? Did I do the Dougie? I'm buzzing! Give it about ten minutes.
Boom, boom! Boom, boom! How are you getting those meds? What I do is y'all gonna I'll get in trouble, but it's okay.
I'll act like I'm cold, and they'll say, "Pill call! Pill call! Pill call!" I got a cup in my right hand like this, when I go to the door, I'll go like this, and I'm like, "Can I get a cup?" They'll give me a cup.
They drop the two pills, they'll drop them in there and I'll go like this.
Switch the cup and put it down like that so they can see that the cup is empty.
I took my pills.
And I say, "Thank you, guys, good night.
" And I'll walk over here, put it behind a whole bunch of books.
They don't look past the books.
Lord forgive me, but What would Jesus do? I'm like, "He would share.
" No, just kidding.
Roll out! I'm a grown man dealing with foolish behavior I'm tryin' to save all the fruits of my labor My first conviction was me driving by myself, I had five kilos of methamphetamine and I had two firearms in the car.
That fucked me over way bad.
It was like television.
Good cop, bad cop, like, "Oh, your friends already rolled on you" type of thing.
I was in the middle of a psychotic episode.
Didn't look at him as a police officer, I told him to take his badge off, and I beat his fucking ass.
I didn't want to go back to jail, and I ended up back in jail.
I had to turn myself in.
Going to jail in front of my kids is not something I wanna do.
I'm losing my patience with you! I've stolen seven cars.
I was just high and I just didn't care.
Y'all motherfuckers commit crimes too.
You just ain't got caught, and I just happened to get caught.
Hey, Temme.
Yes, ma'am.
Hey, Temme, congratulations.
You're being promoted to GP, so grab all your stuff.
Temme, the minute you mess up, I'm gonna send you back to AD-SEG.
Okay.
Thank you.
This is so heavy.
Where you going? I am now officially GP.
No! Who did that? What room you going to? None-ya.
I'll find you.
Baby Girl! I love you! I'm so excited! Okay! Sister! Where you at, Baby? Where you at, bitch? Right here! Where's my Baby? So happy! We love you! Hi, I made it to you.
Love you, sister.
I miss you, fool.
I missed you, too.
I love you.
You made it back! Shayna technically is my half-sister, but that's my sister.
It doesn't matter if she's my dad's kid or my mom's kid.
That's my baby sister and that's all that matters.
- I love you.
- I love you, too.
Ladies, time's up.
We gotta go.
Alright, I love you.
I love you.
- Well, at least you're next door to me.
- Yeah.
Sister! It's me and you! It's always me and you, bitch! So come on, let's do it.
Throw me the goddamn línea.
Yeah! I'm not the world's best big sister, but we do try to keep each other in line.
Did you get it? - Yeah.
- Throw my line back.
I'm going to bed.
Hey! You're not going to bed, sister! I'm going to bed.
Buenas noches.
We Give us "E" for effort.
Get up and stay up and politic.
I don't politic.
I'm a bitch.
We're all we got in here.
Know what I mean? Like, I'm all she has and she's all I have.
- Sister! - Good night! - No! - Yeah! I can't hear you.
Come here.
No.
I love you.
¡Buenas noches! Is there anything I can do to help? - Is there anything I can do to help you? - Yeah, I want a grievance.
Just telling you there's nothing grievable.
- Doesn't make no sense.
- All right.
My cellie left last night, which was Princess.
And in the midst of her doing that, she stole all of my rosaries.
They're from Dolla, the dude I'm talking to in here.
And now he's at the Main Jail, I'm over here.
That was something that I had that he gave to me that I can't get back.
I hid both my rosaries, my bracelet, and the ring underneath the fucking closet thing.
She's the only one who knew it was under there.
She stole it.
- She stole it, bitch.
- She's hella fake.
- Hella fake.
- That's why we gotta be careful who we give our information to and who we really hook up with here, 'cause a lot of these people got here robbing and stealing.
- Gotta be careful.
- You can't really make friends, you know? We're all criminals, so we don't know what we're going to do.
You know what I'm saying? And all the time that was put into those rosaries Right.
They're not just simple rosaries.
These are hardworking rosaries.
- That shit's like an art.
- Yes, it is.
It's like God.
- Right! You just stole from God, right.
- Basically.
Fake-ass bitch.
Walking around with period on her motherfucking pants.
I'm fucking heated right now.
It's okay.
What happened? Just fucking going through this bullshit.
They gave me court on the 18th.
Look at this, though.
- Come outside.
It's hella loud in here.
- I saw somewhere else.
- All right.
- Come on.
This is what gets me.
My son is, uh, going to be four next month, and I gave my parents both temporary guardianship while I'd be incarcerated so that he wouldn't go in the system.
My mom died and my dad just died on Monday.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
Fucking, I called him all week from County and I figured he was just mad at me.
Hello? Pissed off and just not answering my calls.
But it really came down to the fact that he died.
It's like everyone's worst nightmare.
Losing a family member, a parent, a child when you're incarcerated and you can't do shit.
Right.
Oh, God.
My dad and I were really close, like, my whole life.
Because even though you know, he was upset with me, when I came in, I was like, "At least I called my dad.
" You know, I told him I loved him and my dad wasn't one big on "I love you," but he was just like, "I know, kid.
" I don't know, it just sucks.
But I guess I thought I'd get out of here and get to see him.
My son is my only family left, really.
And now my son's dad, who's incarcerated, his mom, who would have nothing to do with my kid before, she took my kid.
Oh, my God.
She took my kid from my godmother, and - Trying to get custody? - To get guardianship.
I didn't know my dad was dead yet and she was filing this paperwork.
That's sick.
It doesn't matter if you're in on some bullshit or something hella serious.
Life doesn't fucking stop for anybody.
And all you do is run through your thoughts and your bullshit.
You're running a marathon in your head in here.
So, we'll fill out the paper.
I'll help you if you want.
- All right.
- We'll fill it out tonight and get it out, because as quick as she's doing this, you need to be quick with your stuff, too.
What the fuck I'm like, losing my shit right now.
- I know, but take a deep breath.
- He's only four.
Well, at least talk to me before you do this kinda shit.
Do you have a number you can call? Yeah, but I don't know if I wanna talk to her, to be honest.
She's trying to keep him.
- That ain't gonna fucking go down.
- Right.
Fucking hate this place.