Johnny Bravo (1997) s01e02 Episode Script

Super Duped/Bungled in the Jungle/Bearly Enough Time!

1, 2, 3, h'yah!
Studly. Vroom!
Check the pecs. Hee hi huh!
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Come on.
Hey, there, baby.
Oomph! Ah!
Yeah, whatever.
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
Johnny: Oh, mama!
Hey, there, cutie pants.
Huh! H'yah!
Ho! Ha! H'yah!
Am I as studly as
the statue of David
or what?
I'd say you're
as studly as
Do you honestly think
women are attracted
to that kind
of macho attitude?
I honestly do,
sugar beets.
Hmm. Astounding.
Ohh, pressure.
Oh, yeah,
she wants me.
Pardon me, miss.
Gosh, I'm really
not very good
at this sort of thing--
I'm rather bashful
by nature, actually--
but I find you
quite beautiful.
Would you
go out with me?
Oh, aren't you sweet?
Of course I will.
Here's my phone number.
Wait a sec.
That ain't possible!
How'd you
do that, mister?
Do what?
Get that little chick's
phone number.
She wouldn't
give it to me,
and look at me.
Well, sir, women
like a man with depth.
When I speak to a girl,
I always express
my true feelings
in a sensitive way.
Beg your pardon?
What was that word?
Now, listen, mister.
I ain't got no time for
you to be talking Greek.
How'd you bag that babe?
Aw, fella, somebody's
got to teach you
a thing or two about
show that girl
you really give a "d"
show her
your mind is occupied
with more than
the pictures in the TV guide
show her you've got
a bit of bona fide
makes for
a groovy conductivity
the base word "sensitive
now, that's
an adjective
"ity" is a suffix
they found
to tack on the end
and make it a noun
and that turns sensitive
to sensitivity!
hey, hold on there,
music boy.
What does grammar
have to do with
getting chicks?
Nothing if
you're sly Stallone,
but look here, Johnny--
whoa! How'd you
know my name?
That doesn't matter.
All that matters is that
Everybody's got a name
hey, what's
your name?
your special little
claim to fame
hey, what's
your name?
I got a pal
whose name is Jim
and when I want
to talk to him,
I say, "hey, Jim!"
that's how he knows
I'm talking to him
look, mister,
this is getting
really old
really fast.
Ok, Johnny. Come on.
We're going to teach you
about sensitivity.
You like her,
Oh, baby.
She is so fine.
Next lesson,
Look, she's
got a pooch.
That gives you
to talk about.
Keep your eyes
open, Johnny.
Observation is a noun
that means you know exactly
what is going down
observation is a way
for Johnny and the girl
to start a repartee
howdy, there,
my beauty
hello, sir,
how do you do?
oh, isn't he
a cutie?
but not
as cute as you
see? Observation, Johnny,
it just clears the fog
all I had to do
was notice she had a dog
it'll get you far
it'll get that girl
out of your dreams
and into your car
try it, Johnny
ok, but stand back.
Hey, there,
foxy lady.
Oh, hello.
That's a fine-looking
weenie dog
you got there.
Hmm. Thank you.
Say, how about
you and me sharing
a soda right now?
Oh! My Fluffy!
Oh, mama!
Runaway weenie dog!
Hubba, hubba, hubba.
I'm coming, fido.
Got you.
Hmm. She might still
go out with me.
Oh, thank you, sir.
Is there any way
I can repay you?
Well, you could
grant me the pleasure of
taking you out to dinner.
Oh! The pleasure's
all mine.
Can I come?
Or you could just
bring me back some pie.
Hey, get a look
at that chick
at the counter.
I bet if I went over there
and flexed my pecs--
she'd pour
that phosphate
down your pants.
Fella, you're too masculine.
You know that?
Why, ain't that like
being too ethical?
Johnny, a woman likes
a man who's in touch
with his feminine side.
You got to think
like one of them.
Matching your
shirts and pants
purely by
winds of chance
won't leave her
poetry by the lake
baking the girl a cake
does much more
than beating your chest
your feminine side, boy,
your feminine side
whenever you can,
favor Jekyll over Hyde
let's see
a shellful of female
cracked open and fried
so you can find
your feminine side
trust me, Johnny.
Johnny: H'yah.
Excuse me, miss.
How'd you like
to paint the town red
with a happening
Oh, where did I
go wrong?
Man: Say, you're
kind of pretty,
and we're
on shore leave.
Excuse me just a second.
H'yah! Ho! Hoo! Oh!
Take that, sailor boys.
Man, I can't wait
till next shore leave.
Oh, baby.
I'm going to make
her dreams come true.
And what's your angle?
I'm going to say,
"hey, hot mama,
want to go
back to my place for
a game of twister?"
No, no.
Next lesson, Johnny.
Calling a woman
"hot mama" isn't
the way to win her over.
You've got to show her
some respect.
How do I do that?
that's the way
to sure success
you don't need
that hairy chest
you need manners
she's a lock,
and that's the key
"thank you," "please,"
and "pardon me"
that's manners
she's your little
sugar dear
so treat her
with respect
call 800-att
instead of just collect
if you try
to flip her wig
simply just
by talking big
she'll say you're a sexist pig
with no manners
see, Johnny? Now, try it,
and remember, manners.
Use words like
"pardon me,"
"if you please,"
and "may I
have the pleasure?"
Pardon me,
hot sexy mama,
if you'd please
to take a look
at my studly bod,
then I may
have the pleasure
of you wanting to be
my number-one main squeeze.
Excuse me
while I make a wish.
Oh! Ooh!
Oh, Johnny,
you did it again.
Um, do you want
to hand me my teeth?
They're over there
by that shoe store.
It ain't for me,
Maybe you can stand to be
sweet and sensitive
all the time,
but that's not my style.
Well, you know, Johnny,
you've got to act
polite, thoughtful,
and considerate,
but no one ever said
you got to mean it.
Heck, I'd tell a girl
I could turn lead
into gold
if it would get her
to date me.
I'd just be sure
to say it in a sincere,
sensitive way.
Tell her what you know
she'll really
want to hear
just be sure
you tell her in a
way sincere
say it with the candor
of a mousketeer
keep your eyes
on her face
that's the proper
come again?
The easiest way
to a woman's heart
is sincerity.
If you can fake that,
you've got it made.
You've got it made
you've got it made
the women will flock
like an easter parade
so much for
flowers and serenades
learn how to fake it,
learn how to fake it, Johnny
and you've got it made
boy, you've got it made.
Hold up there, fella.
What's the matter,
Oh, hello, ladies.
I can explain.
Really, I
Hey, girls,
what say we go make a wish?
I think that's
a fine idea.
Woman: Oh, please.
I've never seen anything
quite like that.
Man: Temporary
insanity, ladies.
That's what it was.
What a jerk.
Ahh, it's a beautiful day,
the kind of a day
where nothing can go wrong.
Oh! Oh! Johnny!
You forgot your pants!
Oh, man. I thought
it was kind of drafty.
[Man in car laughing]
Oh, look at that!
Well, that's a fine
kettle of fish.
[Vehicle approaching]
Hi, there. My car
just broke down,
and I was wondering
if you guys could
give me a lift.
I'm on my way to visit
my aunt jebidisa,
and I'd sure hate
to be late.
She lives
in this spooky house
up on widow's peak.
All: Spooky house?!
Hey, gang,
what do you say
we give
this guy a lift?
Hop in,
Don't worry.
I don't bite.
Does she?
Hey, scoob,
dig this guy's
crazy hairdo.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha!
That's her house
right up there.
All: Ooh!
Yeah, whatever.
Aunt jebidisa!
Like, this place
looks deserted.
Spooky voice: Get out!
[Spooky voice growling]
Oh, man,
you're pretty.
Spooky voice:
You're not welcome here.
Well, it's been
nice knowing
you, Johnny.
Hang on
a minute, gang.
It looks like we're
up to our ascots
in a mystery.
A mystery?
Aunt jebidisa!
Aunt jebidisa!
Aunt jebidisa!
Aunt jebidisa!
Aunt jebidisa!
Aunt jebidisa!
Hey, scoob,
dig this crazy broom closet.
Like, maybe
there's food inside.
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
Get out!
A ghostly gardener!
Both: Yow!
Aunt jebidisa!
My glasses!
I can't see
without my glasses.
My glasses!
I can't be seen
without my glasses!
Everything's dark.
I've gone blind!
I'm only going
to say this once--
The glasses!
You know,
we got to keep
meeting like this.
Oh, don't be silly,
guys. It's just
a harmless old rake,
but I'll bet it's a clue
to your aunt jebidisa's
Hey, gang, look,
the ghost left
flour on the handle.
Why would a ghost
be covered in flour?
Easy, silly.
Because it's not a ghost.
You understand
what that dog says?
Sure. We all do.
Come on, gang.
Let's split up.
Now, hold on
a second there, mister.
We're going after
some creepy
ghost person,
and you want us
to split up?
Well, yeah.
Want to get
lost with me?
I'll give you
a Scooby snack.
Scooby, you and Fred
check upstairs.
Velma and I will look
in the basement.
I mean, Scooby,
you and velma
check upstairs,
and Fred and I
will look
in the basement.
Right. Ok, gang.
Let's go.
Well, Mr. bravo,
I guess
that leaves us
with the kitchen.
Come on.
Why do I have to get stuck
with jughead?
Hey, Johnny, check out
this crazy pantry.
Zoinks! Like, it's
the ghostly gardener.
What the
Apple core!
your friend?
Now, hold on,
H'yah hip hoo!
All righty.
Come on, baby,
let's take my car
to the place
where dreams come true
it's a mile
off the interstate
and if you want to dance,
well, that's there, too
at the happy haunted
sunshine house
we can groove
oh, yeah
well, there's cobwebs
everyone's dead
but once
the sun shines in
we'll paint
the place red
don't be
don't be scared, girl
when we monster mash
it's out of this world
come on, baby,
kick off your shoes
wave your hands
from side to side
come on, baby
we'll dunk our heads
in the apple bin
maybe if you're lucky,
you'll be mummified
Maybe if you're lucky,
you'll be mummified
At the happy haunted
sunshine house
jinkies. Jinkies--
isn't that a breakfast
cereal or something?
Zoinks! Like, looks like
we're going to get hedged.
What the--
like, look out below!
Oh, I knew I
shouldn't have worn
high heels today.
Don't worry, daph.
Help is on the way!
Good work,
We captured
the ghost!
Now let's see who
the ghostly gardener
really is.
All: Professor Hyde-white!
Where's my
aunt jebidisa,
you big freak?
Wait a second.
All: Harry the hypnotist?
Harry the hypnotist?
It can't be.
All: Bigfoot?
Don knotts?
Joe barbera?
Who is that?
All right, all right.
Enough with the silly masks.
Aunt jebidisa!
It was you
all along.
But--but why?
I was trying to
scare you away, Johnny,
because, quite frankly,
I just don't like you.
What do you mean, auntie?
You are an embarrassment
to the family name.
Does that mean I can't
come visit anymore?
Ooh, I was almost
rid of him,
and I would
have done it, too,
if it hadn't been
for you meddling kids.
Gosh, aunt jebidisa.
We're sorry.
Like, we didn't
mean any harm.
Is there anything
we can do to make it
up to you?
Oh, man. This rope
is really binding my pits.
Now, let's have some fun.
How about it, handsome?
and sputtering]
Hey, pal, hop in.
I'll give you a lift.
and sputtering]
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
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