Johnny Bravo (1997) s01e03 Episode Script

The Sensitive Male/Bravo Dooby Doo

1, 2, 3, hyah!
Check the pecs.
Huh! Ha! Huh!
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Come on.
Hey there, baby.
Ooh! Ah!
Yeah, whatever.
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Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
oh, mama.
Millions of chicks
at the push of a button.
Hello! I should have tried
this Internet thing long ago.
Hey, all you hot mamas,
want to talk to a steamin' hunk
of cyber-fella?
Female voice: Wow.
Are you really a steamin' hunk?
Johnny: Let's just say
I take up a lot of cyberspace.
Oh, wow.
We should totally
get together.
How's right now?
Right now's perfect.
Huh! Right on.
I am going to hit
a homer today.
Who's that handsome guy?
Hello, 911 emergency.
There's a handsome guy
in my house.
Oh, wait a second.
Cancel that.
It's only me.
Oh, you drive me wild!
[Doorbell rings]
Hi. You must be Johnny.
I'm Carol.
You know, it
really feels weird
hooking up
with someone
over the Internet.
Doesn't it
feel weird?
Hey, can I
use your phone
before we go?
Oh, great. Thanks.
You can have some
of that if you want.
My salt lick.
You can have
What about germs?
Oh, you look
clean enough.
Now, let's see here.
Oh, well,
let's just go.
Can you hand me
my purse?
How about if I pay
for dinner?
Oh, wow. Thanks.
You're the best.
It is so nice
to have a day off.
I work at a real-estate
firm, and I
What are you
staring at, Johnny?
You know,
don't you?
They always know!
Oh, now,
look here, ma'am.
I don't care
if you're an antelope.
You don't?
No. Come on. Let's go
get us some chow.
You are such
a gentleman.
Yeah, I know.
[Horns honking]
Johnny: Ooh! That was--
ooh! Hey!
I think
that might--ooh!
I'm sure they have
insurance and everything.
Now, don't you think
you ought to--oh!
Well, I guess red doesn't always
have to mean stop.
These cars are
so badly designed.
Look, you want me
to drive?
I've got thumbs.
Oh, no, no, no.
You're so sweet.
That's ok.
I'm fine.
Crazy women
antelope drivers!
Dang! There goes
my premium again.
You won't believe
what I have to pay
for insurance.
Oh, mama.
[Calliope playing]
2 for the carnival,
Isn't this
romantic, Johnny?
This is romantic, Carol.
I agree.
Ride 'em, cowboy!
Yes, sir!
Oh, man, this ain't
gonna be pretty.
Look, men.
It's Pegasus.
No. Wait a second.
No, it's not.
May I
help you, sir?
Table for 2, please.
I'm sorry, sir.
We only serve
Wait a minute.
Aren't you Mike Stevens?
Why, yes.
You went to college
with my father.
oh, my gosh!
Carol? Oh, wow!
I didn't even
oh, my goodness!
You've gotten
so big.
Oh, you say that
to all the antelope.
You look
great, Mike.
Thanks. You
Well, you look
Come on. I'll
get you guys
a table.
Just keeps getting
weirder and weirder.
Thanks, Mike.
Well, you know,
that's ok.
I'll stand.
So, what can I
get you two?
Yeah. I'll
have the crab.
I'll have
some grass.
Just a little,
I usually just chew
the same bite
for hours.
Coming right up.
Let me ask you
something, honey.
Why do you want to
date a human?
Oh, shoot, Johnny.
You're so sweet.
I can't lie to you.
I'm trying to teach
my boyfriend a lesson.
He's so possessive.
I'm really sorry,
but I'm basically
using you
to get back
at him.
I hope
you don't mind.
Um, no.
No, that's cool.
I can deal
with that.
Say, he ain't a moose
or anything, is he?
Should I be nervous?
You better be nervous!
If I catch you
messing around with my Carol,
I'll pinch
your trachea shut!
Oh, nat, you're just
Just impossible!
See what you think
of this.
That was new.
Oh! You playboy!
Ow! Ow! Hey!
Come on now!
Hang on
a second,
I'd never
lay a hand
on your lady.
Why? What's
wrong with her?
I just--
How about a little
static electricity, you jerk?!
I never did like
Get him, Johnny.
Go on, Johnny.
Get him. Get him.
Get him, Johnny.
Oh, baby.
Where's Mrs. Paul
when you need her?
Well, well,
what have we here?
A couple of
Well, we know
a place
where you can make
all the trouble
you want.
Oh, Johnny, I just
feel awful about this.
I really do.
You know, there's
a lesson here.
4-legged chicks
are nothing but trouble.
The bottom one's mine!
Go near it and die!
Don't you make me
step on you, man.
In northern Spain
lies the quaint little town
of Pamplona,
where, once a year,
thousands of people flock
to witness the annual
running of the bulls.
Of course, Pamplona
has other attractions.
You got that
right, mister.
Hey there,
Spanish señorita.
Sprechen sie love?
It's her, isn't it?
It's not me.
It's her, right?
[Woman screams]
Oh, yeah.
When a woman screams,
I just feel the need
to be there.
Excuse me, but--
[men shouting]
Wait a minute.
Can you--
the bull!
The bull!
What are they
talking about?
Thank you. Hyah!
Thank you very much.
Thank you for caring.
Excuse me, mister,
but your zipper's down.
I hate men who cry.
Hey, how'd you like
to watch the show
in 3-d, sweet thing?
Hyah! Hyah! Hyah!
Excuse me, señor,
but you'll be
needing this.
Thanks, kid.
What beauty through
yonder mirror breaks?
It's me,
and I want to
give me to you.
[Woman yawns]
Hey, don't
bother me
now, kid.
I'm waxing
all right?
I said,
don't bother
Uh, excuse me,
but you and me,
we got to fight.
I'm sorry, friend,
but violence
is not the answer.
I know, but see, like,
you got the cape.
So you and me,
we got to fight.
I've got nothing
against you.
And I got nothing
against you,
but you got
the cape.
So you and me,
we got to fight.
Unless, of course,
Come on, mister.
I'll show you
who's chicken.
Would a chicken do this?
I think not.
Oh, man.
Somebody wants
their big bull butt kicked.
Uh, watch the cuticles,
huh, babe?
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
NowIt's personal.
Hyah! Thank you.
Thank you very much. Hyah!
Hyah! Hyah!
Hee! Ha! Huh! Hey!
Hey! Hee! Ooh! Huh!
Ha! Sizma!
All right,
hold it. Hold it.
I got to tell you
this, as a friend.
Your shoelace
is untied.
Oh. Thanks.
So, then
he says to me,
"is that horn
Well, I look
at him and--
Excuse me
a minute.
Yo. Talk to me.
Johnny: Mr. bull.
Look behind you.
[Cheering and applause]
Well, I hope
you're happy.
WellYeah. Why?
Now this bull's
going to be eaten
and his hooves
turned into ashtrays.
Oh, yodel-a-hee-hoo!
Who's going to
turn that nice bull
into ashtrays?
They are.
Oh, won't you come
home, bill Bailey?
won't you come home?
hold on a minute.
Hyah! I got an idea.
I cried the whole
night long
I'll do
the cooking, honey
I'll pay
the rent
I know
I done you wrong
hey, everybody,
look up there.
Hop in.
The bull,
he has escaped.
Ok, who wants to
order Chinese?
Bull: alive, alive-o,
alive, alive-o
crying cockles
and mussels
alive, alive-o
I'm a powerful
Hollywood producer,
and I want to make
you a movie star.
You I don't need.
Where can I
drop you off?
Uh-uh. No way.
The kid and I
are a team.
Where he goes,
I go.
Well, ok, but
you're going to
be big, baby.
Really big!
Narrator: And so
Johnny and the bull
lived happily ever after,
and as the legend goes,
if you believe in such things,
they traveled to Hollywood
and went on to star
in such major
motion pictures as
And, of course
Hey, a guy's got to
make a living, huh? Hyah!
Man: Hello, Johnny.
It's activity time.
There's a rhino hiding
somewhere in this room.
Can you find him
before the kids at home do?
Hey, no problem.
Excuse me.
Man: Time's up!
Ha ha ha! I'm right here,
you big, dumb jerk!
Hey, buddy, you seen
any rhinos around here?
I am a tan man.
I am a buttercup.
I'm as sweet
as can be.
Please won't you buy
some cookies from me?
Listen up, kid.
I ain't got the time.
Go on. Bother
somebody else
with your rhyme.
I'm selling cookies.
Almost free.
Please won't you buy
some cookies from me?
Hyah! I'm on a diet.
Can't you see? Hyah!
And cookies are
very bad for me.
Now go on, kid.
Just let me be.
I will not buy
any cookies from
You wish that you
could rhyme like me.
Hyah! Ha! Huh!
Hyah! Huh!
They're not
that expensive.
So, why won't
you buy?
You must think that I'm
a real gullible guy. Hyah!
I don't want no cookies.
They'll turn me to goo.
I'm not going to buy
any cookies from you.
Beat it, kid.
I'm making lunch.
How about
some chocolate
crispy crunch?
Would you eat them
with a fox?
If the fox
was courteney Cox.
But since that
is not the case,
get that stuff
on out my face.
Man, this rhyming stuff
really hurts my tongue.
it came today--
the thing for which
I sent away.
Yeah, it's here.
Now all is well.
My jumbo jug
of stud's hair gel.
Johnny, I'm
surprised at you.
For this
you spent $12.92?
That gel won't
do you any good,
but I bet some lemon
sprinkles would.
Would you buy
a peanut swirl,
even from
a little girl?
I will not buy them,
not one box.
I will not eat them
with a fox,
not with bagels
or with lox,
and do not tempt me
with courteney Cox.
I will not buy
a peanut swirl.
I will not buy it,
little girl.
I want no cookies,
can't you see?
Now get that stuff
away from me!
That was close.
A clean escape.
Good thing I am
in such great shape.
Hey there, miss.
I'm Johnny b.
Want to spend
the day with me?
Sure, I will,
on one condition.
You help me with
my cookie mission.
I will not eat them,
not one box.
I will not eat them
with a fox,
not a crunch
and not a swirl.
I will not buy them,
little girl.
I want no cookies,
can't you see?
Now go away
and let me be.
Would you eat them
on a dare?
No way, kid.
They'll muss
my hair.
This place is huge.
I'll go inside.
There's lots of places
I can hide.
I'm a poet,
and I don't know it.
I make a rhyme
every time.
This one's big
and yummy, too.
I'm really getting
sick of you.
I have to say,
it's quite a day.
Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!
Feels as though
I hit my head.
Am I alive,
or am I dead?
You're alive.
Don't be afraid.
These go great
with lemonade.
Would you eat them
on a boat?
How about in an overcoat?
Ok, Johnny,
what do you say?
Will you buy
some cookies today?
That's it, kid.
I've had enough.
I'm really sick
of all this stuff.
I don't want cookies.
Can't you see?
Now get your stuff
away from me.
I will not buy them,
not one box.
I will not eat them
with a fox.
I will not buy
a peanut swirl.
I will not buy it,
little girl.
I will not eat them on a boat,
with a goat, or in a coat.
You drive me nuts.
It's really true.
I've really had
enough of you.
You've got until
the count of 3
to go away
and let me be!
3--ah, hey, kid.
Come on, kid.
Oh, man.
Come on, kid,
please don't cry.
If it means that much,
I'll buy. I'll buy.
You will?
I didn't mean
to make you cry.
I'm really not
that bad a guy.
If cookies mean
that much to you,
I'll buy a box.
No, make that 2.
Oh, thank you, Johnny.
You're true-blue.
All folks should have
a friend like you.
No big deal,
my little scout.
I'm glad that I
could help you out.
A buck a box, kid.
Here you go.
Give them here,
and then you blow.
[Train whistle blows]
What's with the train,
you buttercup, you?
I just wanted
2 boxes, 2 boxes, 2!
You've got
your 2 boxes,
but let me explain.
There's a reason
we're using this
great big old train.
See, we pass
the savings along
right to you.
For your lousy
2 bucks, you get
a million plus 2.
Bye-bye, Johnny.
a million and 2 cookies.
Got milk?
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
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