Johnny Bravo (1997) s01e07 Episode Script

Hip Hop Flop/Talk to Me, Baby/Blanky Hanky Panky

1, 2, 3, hyah!
Check the pecs.
Hyeh! Hyah! Hyuh!
Oh, man, I'm pretty.
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do the monkey with me.
Come on!
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
Oh, yeahSpecial!
Hey, babearella.
That's a pretty
polka-dot thingy
you got going there.
Want to do
the monkey with me?
Come on. Hyuh!
The monkey?
Hey, everybody,
do the monkey!
Hi there.
Want to go swimming?
No way, daddy-o.
You're a shark.
You'll eat me.
Darn it!
They're on to me.
I better work
a different angle.
What? Everybody's
doing it.
Hi there.
Want to go swimming?
I'm not a shark.
There's a beach
full of bikini
teeny-weeny babes,
and you want me
to go swimming with you?
Come on.
It'll be fun.
I've only got two words
for you, mister: No.
Now, where was I?
Oh, yeah.
Come and get it, ladies.
I'm yours for the takin'.
Franny, a woman's place
is in the kitchen.
Oh! Andy, you're
such a goo-goo head!
You're not my boyfriend
Well, that suits me
just fine!
Oh, you'll be sorry,
Just wait until
I take some other guy
to the wienie roast.
Oh, yeah? What guy?
Dreamy hunk
right here.
Want to go to the wienie
roast with me tonight?
Oh, yeah.
I think
you're marvy.
Well, actually,
I'm Johnny. Hyah!
Johnny bravo.
Hey, pal,
are you cutting
in on my time?
Come again?
Raiding my chick
Coop, daddy-o.
Don't worry
about him, Johnny.
He's just a nobody.
Now, come on and buy me
a chocolate malted.
A chocolate what-ed?
I'm telling you, melon head,
if I don't win back franny,
I'm going to go
completely goo-goo.
Gee, Andy,
that's too bad.
I guess you won't
have the heart
to win the king of
the beach contest.
Melon head,
you're a genius!
I am?
Sure. If I win
the king of the beach
franny will come
running back to me.
But enough about me.
Let's talk about me.
What do you think
of me?
Oh, Johnny
You are so swell.
Tell me about it.
No. I mean, really.
Tell me more
about it.
Franny's mine,
you loosey-goosey!
I challenge you
to the king
of the beach
Did you say loosey-goosey?
Unless, of course,
you're chicken.
Bawk! Bawk! Bawk!
That does it, kid!
You have just
earned yourself
a serious butt-kickin'.
[All gasp]
Be careful, Mr. bravo.
Andy's wiry,
but he's small.
[Applause and cheering]
What am I supposed
to do with this?
You're supposed
to jazz the glass.
Uh-uh, man.
That sounds nasty.
No, no. What kind
of square are you?
Smooth the curl.
No way, kid.
I ain't smoothing no curl.
This hair is
my crowning glory. Hyah!
No, no. Trip
the wave fantastic.
Come again?
Surf, daddy-o, surf!
Good morning,
I'm going to be
the surfing judge.
Why? We don't need
no surfing judge.
Now, I'll just swim
out a little ways,
and the first surfer
that gets to me wins.
Say, you're not
a shark, are you?
Nah. Heck, no.
I'm, uhRichard Nixon.
Oh, ok. Cool.
Thanks for getting us
into China and everything.
Surf's up, man!
Oh, boy. Groovy!
Dig it!
Check me out!
It's a tie.
HeyThat shark
just ate those guys.
Hey, everybody,
do the shark attack.
I got to warn you.
I'm the big kahuna
around here.
The big ka-what-a?
Never mind.
Just catch that wave.
Oh, man, this is
not good for my hair!
Oh, yeah.
One little spray
will hold you all day.
I now crown you
king of the beach.
My hero!
You know, I may have
this thing on my head,
but at least
I got the girl.
Ow. My eye.
Listen, franny,
you're a swell kid.
You don't need any
of this phony jazz.
Maybe you'd understand it
a little better
if I sang it to you.
When a guy digs
a way-out chick
but she's been
putting him down
only one thing
will set him straight
and keep him
hanging around
that thing is
love, love, love
that thing is love
oh, Andy,
you're so hootie.
I just love it
when you sing.
Let's kiss
and make up.
When a chick
digs a way-out guy
and he digs
that way-out chick
if they want
to be together forever
only one thing
will do the trick
that thing
is love, love, love
that thing is love
Johnny: Ah, man.
This is the last time
I come to the beach.
Hi there.
My name's
Martha Washington.
Want to go
for a swim?
[People whispering]
Order! Order in the court!
Mr. bravo, your apparent lack
of good judgment yesterday
is by all accounts inexcusable!
What on earth possessed you
to do the things you did?
Well, your honor,
it all started
yesterday morning.
We had a power outage.
Don't know
exactly how it happened.
Well, mark, looks like
the new scissor-tipped
fighter jet
is going to be a-ok.
[Rooster crows]
Anyway, when I noticed the vcr
blinking 12:00 over and over,
I thought what any warm-blooded
American would have thought,
given the same situation.
Looks like time's frozen
for everybody but me.
Johnny, voice-over:
The faucets weren't running,
which made sense because
the water was probably stopped
in time inside the pipes.
[Dog barking]
Well, shoot, here's
your problem, Mrs. bravo--
German Shepherd
in the plumbing.
Well, that's a relief.
Last time it was a man.
HmmI bet if I held
perfectly still,
I could balance
this egg on my nose.
Johnny, voice-over: Yeah.
It was the people, too.
Everybody was
dead-frozen in time.
[Horns honking]
Boy, all this honking
isn't doing anybody
any good.
Yeah. It's definitely
not moving the traffic.
We should all
just shut up.
Maybe even get
some sleep.
Now you're talking.
[People snoring]
Oh, mama!
I felt like I was in
the twilight zone or something,
and I figured
I'd better check this out.
Oh, man, this stuff's
like quicksand.
The more you try to get out,
the deeper you sink in.
I'd best just hold still.
Johnny, voice-over:
It was actually kind of fun
to see what everybody was doing
at the moment time froze.
And then I started to think
about the possibilities
of my situation.
No time meant no rules.
Nobody was going to bust me
for doing anything
I wasn't supposed to do.
Oh, yeah!
This could be entirely groovy.
Steady, Billy,
Aw, Billy,
look what you did.
Oh, sorry, dad.
Look, run downstairs
and get the blow-dryer.
Otherwise I'm going
to have to stand here
all day with this.
Ah, mama! Free candy!
Ooh! Peanut butter,
bananas. Ooh!
Oh, mama!
[Loud stomping]
Ron, look!
It's a manatee.
Ron: You mean
the sea cow?
Yes! They're
so frightening.
Now, don't move a muscle.
Their eyesight isn't
as good as ours.
Oh, Ron,
I was so scared!
There, there.
He's gone, honey,
far away.
Johnny, voice-over:
All that candy
was giving me an appetite
for some real food,
so I figured this was
my one good chance to dine
at the ritziest in town.
Yeah. I'd be eating
fancy tonight.
Hey, guys, what say
we play charades
while we let
the duck meat thaw?
All right. Pick one.
HmmA rock?
Ok, here goes.
We're going to
need a moment
of silence
to figure
this one out.
Johnny, voice-over:
Well, there was plenty
to choose from.
Man, did they have
some fine-looking desserts!
I decided to load up.
[People gasp]
Power outage.
Think it'll
happen again?
Let's wait and see.
Check, please.
What? No charge?
Why, thank you very much.
Ha ha!
Guess it was a fluke.
Well, let's not let it
spoil our dinner.
Well, I was about ready
for some shuteye
after such a big
whopping meal,
and, hey, why knock off
my new high-class lifestyle now?
I was going to spend the night
at the Waldorf hysteria. Hyah!
Ok, everybody,
this is a holdup!
[All gasp]
Now, I'm going to go
empty the safe.
If anybody moves a muscle
before I get back,
y'all are
going to get it.
Johnny, voice-over:
Well, with time frozen still,
it wasn't hard for me
to get a room key.
Hey, what do you
think, mister?
This a nice room?
If you're a loser,
don't say nothing.
I thought so.
Aw, mama!
Now, this is the life!
Aw, figures.
TV's frozen, too.
AhMore peanut butter.
Man: Well, we're back.
Let's see how the Duke boys are
going to get out of this one.
[Rooster crows]
All right, fella,
you're coming with us!
Oh, mama!
Time is back
with a vengeance.
And that's the whole
story, your majesty.
Your honor.
Oh, you don't have
to call me that.
You see,
I thought time had
already stopped.
I guess
I screwed up, huh?
Ha ha ha!
What a delightful little tale.
Mr. bravo, I sympathize
And to think this was all
started by a blinking vcr.
My word, if I had a nickel
for all the trouble
I've had with those things--
why, one time, I thought I was
stuck in July 23 for 6 weeks!
Ha ha ha!
Case dismissed!
[People cheer]
Oh, Johnny,
I knew you
were innocent.
Me, too, Johnny.
How about we all go out
for a fudge sundae?
Why not?
We've got all the time
in the world. Hyah!
Hi. I'm Johnny bravo, and--
What the--
now hold on a--
Sorry about that, folks.
Hey, look, I'm counting!
TV: I don't want
to alarm the passengers,
but there's a bomb on this bus,
and if you go over
55 Miles an hour,
we're all dead.
that's all right.
55 is
the speed limit.
Oh, well, I guess
we're ok then.
screaming, and sirens]
Man, I dig
these action flicks.
[Doorbell rings]
Hyah! That
must be my pizza.
Hey, where's
the mushrooms?
Hello, sir.
Would you care
to donate a toy
to the kids
with empty rooms
Ha ha ha!
No, seriously,
where's the mushrooms?
Never mind.
[Doorbell rings]
I'm going to have to
go get the spray.
Look, I thought
I said--
You weren't very nice
to my sister.
That little girl
is your sister?
All we want
is a toy donation.
Ah, boy, I don't
know if I got
any toys.
Oh, well, sorry
to bother you then.
Let's go, Caroline.
No. Wait.
If you give me
20 minutes,
I'll run down to eternitoys
and get you something
really happenin'.
10 minutes.
We've got the rest
of the block
to cover.
Right. 10 minutes.
Don't go nowhere.
I'll be
right here.
Can I help you, sir?
Yeah. I need to find
some toys fast.
How much you
looking to spend?
What guy is that again?
George Washington.
George Washington
Yeah, I got one
George Washington.
Hmm. A dollar.
Well, there's our
discount section,
aisle 6
for defective
or otherwise
damaged toys.
You might be able
to find something
Thanks, chachi.
Aw, mama.
Decisions, decisions--
and I got
to make one fast.
Let's see now.
What's this thing?
Hi. I'm a Keith doll.
Holy guacamole.
You talked!
Sure did. Guess what.
I'm defective,
but that's ok.
I'm still happy
with who I am.
Well, what's wrong
with you?
I'm wearing white pants.
It's after labor day.
That's a fashion no-no.
Needless to say,
Barbie won't go out
with me.
What a snot, huh?
What a snot!
Ok, what else
we got here?
That's general
issue Jeremy.
He's got one arm
and one leg.
Left. Left. Left. Left.
I also got kung-fu grip.
Hey, watch it,
beetle Bailey.
You there,
pick me!
There's tons
of fun to be had
with the cubix bomb.
Cubix bomb?
What's that all about?
Quite simple,
you blunt-edged plebeian.
Get all the colors right
and I explode,
or perhaps I don't.
Perhaps I release
a corrosive venom,
but maybe not.
Maybe I issue forth
a flesh-eating virus.
Is that what's
wrong with you?
The yellow's
on the wrong side.
Oh. Well,
ok, now, I only
got a buck here,
so who is it
going to be?
Lucky day.
There just happens to be
a 3-for-a-dollar special
on all discount toys.
Ah, so much
the better.
Ok. Hop in,
You, too, gomer.
No can do, sir.
What's the problem?
I always said
I wouldn't leave this place
without getting my limbs back.
All right, well,
who took them?
Raggy angelo,
aisle 6
The toughest villain
this side of the board games.
Now, if I help you
against this
angelo guy,
can we all hurry up
and blow this
You got it.
All right, then.
Aisle 6--hyah!
Here we come.
[Evil laugh]
Aw, mama!
I swear that clown
was looking mean at me.
There, at 12 o'clock.
Keith: Raggy angelo!
Should I just
run him over?
Blast you!
Think like a serviceman.
We've got to take him
Really, I'm, like,
8 times his size.
I could just,
you know--
quiet, soldier!
You and I are going over there.
All right.
Cover me, Keith.
You got it!
I'm not really
going to cover him.
I just said I would.
And I'll inject you all
with pure nitro--oh!
Ah ha ha ha!
So we meet again,
That's right,
I see you're still
missing that arm and leg
that I tore off you.
I haven't forgotten,
and I'm ready
to return the favor.
Look, Mr. angelo,
I'm in a hurry here,
and if I lose me
a date because
of this,
I'll turn you
into a potholder.
And just who are you?
I'm Johnny bravo.
Well, when I get done
with you,
you'll be Johnny nothing!
Wow. That wasn't
even clever.
Enough of this!
Toys, attack!
Oh, mama!
[Toys shouting]
Ah ha ha ha!
Adios, fools.
Not so fast, angelo.
Go, team!
Heads up, angelo.
You're next!
What a spaz.
Curse you, Jeremy!
Now we're even,
If you want a new arm,
you're going to have to
get it from a share bear.
Ha ha!
You'll pay for this!
Ok, we all set here?
Everybody happy?
Can we go now?
Mount up and move out!
Ha! That's
cowboy talk, Johnny.
It means
yes, we can go now.
Man, remind me never to buy
a discount toy again.
Hmph! His 10 minutes
are up.
Let's go, Caroline.
I'm back,
and I got you
3 nice little toys
for the kids
with empty rooms
Uh! That's pathetic.
Where'd you
get these, anyway,
the discount aisle?
Come on, Caroline.
Maybe we can find
someone on the next block
who isn't such a jerk.
Shoot! Now what?
Well, you paid for us, Johnny,
so it looks like we're roomies.
Ah, great.
Johnny, this cereal
is fantastic,
possibly the best
cereal ever.
Oh, blast it.
You'd think
with all my training,
I could figure out--
You have 6 seconds
of consciousness left.
Use them wisely.
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