Johnny Bravo (1997) s01e08 Episode Script

1
1, 2, 3, hyah!
Baby!
Sassy!
Studly!
Check the pecs. Hee! Ha! Huh!
Man, I'm pretty.
Captioning made possible by
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and U.S. department of education
do the monkey with me! Come on!
Hey there, baby.
Oh! Uh!
Yeah, whatever.
Now class, take
a moment to prepare
for your big test today.
Close your eyes.
Take a deep breath.
I'll be in the back,
mentally preparing
to lead you through
the difficult tasks ahead.
[Thinking]
Aw, man.
Today is the day I'm going
to get my triple dragon belt.
Hyah! Huh! Ha!
I feel lucky to have a great
teacher like Mr. Goodman.
[Music playing]
Man on television:
the love ship
soon will be sailing
to awesome sun
[siren]
The love ship
oh, no.
A karate studio?
That's just great.
Don't hurt me.
Don't hurt me!
[Whimpers]
Oh!
Uh, Mr. Goodman.
[Muffled]
Help! Help!
Help me!
Who are you?
And what's
Mr. Goodman doing
tied up like that?
Uh
I'm
Well--
is this all
part of the test
for the next belt?
Yeah, yeah.
That's it.
He's taking a test
in--well, let's see--
in escape techniques.
Yeah, that's it.
He's taking a test.
But who's going to
give me my test for
the next belt level?
WellI am.
That's right.
[Crash]
I am. I'm the substitute.
Oh, yeah, that's good.
I'm the substitute teacher,
and I'm going to give you
a very special test.
MeA special test?
Aw, man! I knew this
was going to be
my lucky day.
The first part of the test
is to--let's see--
take this bag and put in
the cashbox, wallets,
and all of Mr. Goodman's
valuables.
[Muffled speech]
You can do it,
Mr. Goodman.
Did I pass?
Yeah, sure, kid,
but the road
to enlightenment
is long
and difficult,
and, well,
we're going
to need a car.
We can borrow
Mr. Goodman's car.
I'm sure he won't mind.
Will you,
Mr. g.?
[Jingling]
Never give up,
Mr. g.
That's what
you taught us.
Come on, kid.
[Crying]
Mmhh!
Mmhh! Mmhh!
Johnny: What do I
do now, Mr. teacher?
What are you--
impeded?
Start the car!
Uh, I mean, the path
of advancement can be found
in the turn of a key.
Johnny: Oh.
This is great.
Is driving
without my hands
part of the test?
Because
I can do that.
[Horns honking]
No!
Hey, watch
the hair!
What about driving
with my feet?
I can do that,
too. See?
What about driving
with my teeth?
See? It's easy.
Would you
stop that?!
Don't do anything
I don't tell you
to do. Get it?
Got it.
Good. There.
Pull over there!
Now, pay attention!
The true key to martial
arts begins by leaving
the motor running.
Uh-huh. Why?
BecauseIt just is!
Don't ask questions
of your teacher.
Now, stay focused
till I get back.
Right. Focus. Focus.
Focus. Focus.
[Alarm bell ringing]
True mastery comes
from driving
Real fast.
Now, go, go,
go, go, go!
[Alarm beeping]
Hey, look.
We better hurry.
Get up!
Step on it, Harry.
We got to hurry!
[Siren]
Criminy!
It's the coppers!
All right, kid--
I mean, student,
your next test
will be
Lose the police!
Yes, sensei.
Huh! Ha! Huh! Ha!
[Horns honking]
[Tires squeal]
What is that
lunatic guy doing?
Hang on. I'll
take care of it.
Ho ho! Great
driving, kid.
Johnny: Thank you
very much. Do I pass now?
Do I get the next belt?
No, because you
didn't obeyYah!
Right on time.
These are fresh from
the deep-fat fryer.
Oh! You can still
feel the lard! Ooh.
[Sniffs]
Yeah, and that
crazy driver almost
made us late.
Oh, good driving,
Harry.
Crook: All right.
Good work, kid.
What now, sensei?
Now? Now we go
to Mexico.
Mexico?
Yeah. The key to
inner strength and truth
and all that stuff
can only be found
South of the border.
Now, the master
is tired
and wishes to recharge
his vital essences,
so wake me
when we get there.
[Snoring]
Mexico.
Mexico.
Let me see.
Where the heck
is Mexico?
Better not wake
the master.
Maybe they can
give me directions.
Hey, can either of you tell me
how to get to Mexico?
Look!
It's Jimmy
the hands!
That's right.
He's got hands
of fury.
Let's go!
You'll never
take me, coppers!
Wait, sensei!
Ugh!
Oh, mama!
Uh! Oh!
Ohh! Ohh!
Ooh!
Ohh.
Did I pass
yet, mama?
Mama? Ohh.
Mmhh! Mmhh!
This stinks.
I'm taking up ballet.
[Siren]
So do I get my triple
dragon belt now?
Oh, you'll get
your belt.
Johnny: Ohh!
There's just got to be
an easier way to get
these belts.
Ohh!
Ahh!
Johnny: Why, yes, I am
a middle-aged bald man.
Ok, see you
Saturday. Huh!
I love
the personal adds.
Oh, yeah. This one
looks interesting.
"Single, stunning,
sexy seductress"--
oh, mama! She's talking
my language--
"seeking blond,
macho, egotistical,
swaggering, self-loving,
superstar wannabe."
Huh. It's a stretch, but I think
I could pull it off.
What do you think,
rubber ducky?
"Quack. Quack."
My thoughts exactly.
Get ready there, Fluffy.
You're about to meet
your dream man--
huh! Ha!--Johnny bravo.
[Crickets chirping
and owl hooting]
Oh, man. She should be
here any minute.
I better bring out
the reinforcements.
These here doggy treats should
show her that I love animals.
Chicks dig that.
Excuse me.
Are you the blond,
macho, egotistical,
swaggering, self-loving
superstar wannabe?
Uh
Hi there.
I'm Fluffy.
You must be Johnny.
UhWhy,
yes, ma'am.
Huh!
I'm Johnny brav--
hey, are those
dog biscuits?
Yeah. Those were
for you.
[Burp]
Excuse you, honey.
Johnny, before
we go any farther,
there's something
I need to tell you.
I'm not like
other girls.
What? Are you
a werewolf
or something?
Well
[Howl]
Hey, Fluffy, look--
a full moon.
Pretty dang
romantic, huh?
Hello!
Yes, Johnny, it's true.
I am a werewolf.
Oh, please, don't run away
in a cowardly panic.
That's weird.
That's just what
I was about to do.
Waah!
Now, look, missy,
don't cry.
There's nothing wrong
with having to, um
Comb your face.
Waah--really?
Yeah. I'll bet
there's a beautiful
little sweetie pants
underneath
all that hair.
[Sultry voice]
And you know, I do
change back at sunrise.
Sunrise.
Hmm.
Johnny.
Johnny.
Oh, mama!
Then how's
about we go out
for the evening?
And then later on,
we can watch
the sunrise--
huh!--Together.
Oh, Johnny, that
sounds wonderful!
[Sniff sniff]
You might want
to try some of
these here mints.
Look, Fluffy,
I don't want you
to take this
the wrong way
or anything,
but your face is--
what's the word
I'm looking for?
Horrifying.
Yeah, that's it.
Can you do something
about your, you know,
condition?
Oh, sure. No problem.
There. No one
will ever know.
YeahNo one
will ever know.
Mmm! Wow!
This stuff is great!
And how is
everything?
Fine and dandy.
Can we get
the check?
Yes, you certainly may,
and would you care
for a doggy bag?
What's that supposed
to mean, Buster?!
Uhh! Gracious!
Good heavens!
A werewolf!
[People screaming]
Are you going
to eat that?
Give me two
tickets, please.
No pets allowed.
She ain't no pet.
She's a werewolf.
A werewolf?!
Aah!
Aah!
I guess that means
we don't have to pay.
It's the werewolf
from the restaurant!
[People screaming]
I'll bet the movie
was bad anyway.
No. It's me.
I'm hideous,
hideous!
Now, calm down there,
sugarplumkin.
When the sun comes up,
everything will be
back to normal.
It's almost
time, Johnny.
Ohh. Liking that.
Huh! Come on.
Let's go get
some frozen tofu.
Tofu? I love tofu!
[Panting]
Now, don't do
anything unusual, ok?
You got it.
Mister, me
and my girl here
want some
frozen tofu.
Okey-dokey. You want
any toppings on that?
Ooh, I want some
kibbles and bits.
Ha ha! No, but seriously,
do you want any toppings
on your tofu?
I'm sorry.
Did I stutter?
Aah!
It's the werewolf
from the theater!
[People screaming]
Hey, free ice cream!
At least she's
a cheap date.
Thank you for
a wonderful evening.
I had the time
of my life.
Yeah. Don't mention it.
Come on, sunrise!
I can't wait
to give you a very
special thank-you.
I can't either.
Give me an "s"!
Give me an "unrise"!
Huh! Hello, sunrise!
[Rooster crows]
Here comes the sun!
All right!
Is this what
you want?
[Purrs]
Rrrow!
That's the stuff.
Oh! Wait.
What's today?
I don't care.
Uh, it's Wednesday. Why?
I forgot
to mention,
besides being
a werewolf,
I have
another problem.
Another problem?
On wednesdays,
I change into--into--
[Fluffy groaning
and voice changing]
On wednesdays, I change
into an annoying
little bald man
named Melvin,
who collects stamps.
Want to see some?
Stamps?
See here? This is
the fat Elvis from
a couple of years ago.
And here's
the skinny version.
[Breathing heavily]
Maybe I'll take up something
safer, like shark wrestling.
Hey!
Wait up!
[Whistling cheery tune]
Ahh
It's a beautiful day,
the kind of a day
where nothing can go wrong.
Johnny?
Oh! Oh!
Johnny!
You forgot your pants!
Aw, man. I thought it was
kind of drafty.
[Horn honking
and man laughing]
Man: Look at that!
Narrator: Aron city
general hospital
A paragon of health care,
a place where
bright and happy smiles
are guaranteed for all.
Suzy: I just had
my tonsils taken out.
In the medical world,
they call the procedure
a tonsillectomy.
Aren't they cool?!
Oh, Suzy!
Hello,
Mrs. bravo.
Look who's come
to cheer you up--
John John the clown!
Suzy: Yay!
Aw, mama,
I can't do this.
What if some
Body sees me?
Hubba, hubba!
Oh ho ho!
And how is
my number-one
patient, hmm?
Suzy: Peachy
as pie!
Is there
anything else
I can do?
How about
you and me
playing doctor?
And you are?
Johnny bravo, m.D.
Want to take my pulse?
[Sarcastically]
Please!
Don't wait up
for me, mama.
Was I supposed to?
Help,
nurse beautiful!
Pain! Aw!
And your problem is?
The problem is,
I think I love you,
but I don't have
your phone number.
Alphonse, can you help
Mr. bravo?
How's about I put
you under "h" for
one "hot tamale"?
[Voice like Peter lorre]
Help him? Sure.
It's only my sworn duty.
Or how about "g"
for "good golly
miss Molly"?
You run along downstairs
to the cafeteria and get
yourself some peach cobbler.
Oh, yeah.
"R" for "rrrow!"
"S" for--hey!
Where's
nurse Amber babe?
She went to "g"
for "get away from you"
because you're "j,"
a big, dumb "jerk."
And you are?
Aah!
Oh!
And stay out, you womanizing
sick-guy impersonator!
Roll, roll, roll
your chair
don't you
want to play?
oh, alphonse!
You called?
Oh, hello.
How can I be
of assistance,
nurse amberly?
Him.
Merrily, merrily,
merrily, merrily
let's roll
in the hay
well, well, well.
A wheelchair.
You must really be
feeling poorly.
No, not really.
Now, where'd
that nurse go?
You see, Mr. bravo,
this is a hospital.
We only help the sick
and injured here.
That suits me
because I was
just going--
oh!
there. Now
we can help you.
Let's get you back
into that wheelchair.
Johnny:
Ah, that's ok.
Oh, that's
a nasty head wound.
We'd better get you
down to X-ray.
These stairs
look dangerous.
Maybe we should--
oh, look! A quarter!
[Johnny groans in pain]
[Crash]
Alphonse: Whoops!
Did I do that?
Gosh, looks like
I'd better drag you
back up here
by your ears
so we can take
the elevator.
How about
a little
fresh air?
Here, nurse nymphet.
Let me show you
how it's done.
[Straining groans]
Come on, Suzy.
Let's go get
a smoothie.
Suzy: Whoopee!
If I can just
[Window creaking]
Mr. bravo,
looking for a little
fresh air, are we?
Here. Just press
this button.
Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Whoa! Whoa!
Oh!
Oh, my, Mr. bravo.
You don't look
so good.
I'd better put you
on a gurney and wheel
you down to surgery.
Oops! I'm
so clumsy today.
Johnny: Whoa!
[Groans in pain]
[Crash]
Aw, mama.
Johnny,
guess what.
Because of my tonsillectomy,
I get to have all
the ice cream I want.
Isn't that cool?!
Yeah, whatever.
Suzy: Hi, alphonse.
Well, I've got
to be going now.
Wait. Don'tGo.
What was that,
Mr. bravo?
What did you say?
Nothing.
You feel like
a sandwich?
Gee, that's funny.
You don't look
like a sandwich.
[Beep]
Oh!
[Muffled]
Oh, man.
There. Now you look
like a sandwich.
I'll be back in a couple
of hours to check on you.
Really, I'll be ok.
Must reach button
Call beautiful nurse.
[Beeping]
Hey, nurse lovely,
it's the handsome guy
in room 12.
You rang?
Uh
I've always wanted
to say that.
I'm sorry. I was trying
to reach nurse Amber babe.
Well, in case
you want to get
ahold of me
all you have to do
is whistle.
Whistle?
You do know how
to whistle,
don't you?
[No note]
I think
that one's broken.
[Barking]
Help! Help! Ohh!
Looks fine to me.
[Johnny mumbles]
What was that,
Mr. bravo?
What did you say?
Nothing.
You'd like to donate
your liver?
Oh, that's great.
Wait a minute.
Don't I need my liver?
Oh, heck, no.
You've got
3 of them.
No, wait a minute.
I'll double-check
on that after
the surgery.
Aw, man. It just
couldn't get any worse.
Johnny,
as soon as little
Suzy told me,
I rushed right
on over here, boy.
Hey, Johnny, guess what.
Now I got
the chicken measles.
Pretty cool, huh?!
Wait a minute.
Isn't that contagious?
Oh, dear. I forgot. You
never had the chicken
measles before.
Aw, man!
Wow!
The constellations!
Here's cassiopeia.
Ow!
And look!
The big dipper!
Come on, Suzy.
Let's tell the nurse
you'll be staying.
Uh-oh. Oh, no.
I've got an itch!
Itch? Did someone
say itch?
Fortunately, I just
happen to have
a little sandpaper
and rubbing alcohol
handy.
Hee hee! Hee hee!
Hee hee hee!
Hee hee hee!
Hee hee hee!
This just isn't my day.
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.