Johnny Bravo (1997) s01e11 Episode Script

Going Batty/Berry the Butler/Red Faced in the White House

1, 2, 3, hyah!
Check the pecs. Hee! Ha! Huh!
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me! Come on!
Hey there, baby.
Oh! Uh!
Yeah, whatever.
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
narrator: Submitted
for your perusal--
a routine
passenger flight.
Also for your
the portrait of a man,
one Johnny bravo--
a man afraid
of very little,
save the possible exception
of clowns.
And if he were to look
out the window
And if he were to look
out the window--
huh? Huh?
He would discover
that he and his mother
Honk honk!
Have just booked one-way passage
to the zone
where normal things don't happen
very often.
Mama. Hey, mama,
wake up.
There's a clown
on the wing.
I don't see
I know
I saw a clown.
Aah! Oh!
Mama. Mama,
there's a clown
on the wing
of the plane.
This had better be
good, Johnny.
I was just dreaming
about me and tom Jones
in a jacuzzi.
Mama, just look
out the window,
will you, please?
I honestly don't know
what's gotten
into you, boy.
Now, let mama rest.
[Mama snoring]
Honk honk!
Hey, mister,
there's a clown
on the wing.
Oh, no, you don't.
No, you don't.
I'm not falling
for that one again.
No, sir.
Fool me once, shame on me.
Fool me twice
Aah! Whoopee!
To the left,
To the left.
Mr. captain,
there's a clown--
not now, son.
He almost had it.
To the right!
To the right!
Help, miss.
a clown
Say there,
pretty air mama,
didn't you see me
in your dreams
last night?
No, I don't
believe so.
Would you like to
right now?
Just close your eyes
and follow
the landing lights
right on in.
Honk honk!
Johnny: Whoa!
I think
you're special
and all, missy,
but this is
a little bit weirder
than I'm willing to go.
Give me that.
Now, please stay
in your seat.
I guess I was
just dreaming.
No. No. No.
That little fella
is not real.
Honk honk!
Go away, fragment
of my imagination.
Hey, wait a minute!
Don't do that.
Oh, man, are you
going to get it.
Johnny, I thought
I told you--
no playing
with the window!
But, mama--
what happened
to your face,
Johnny boy?
You look crazy.
All right,
that does it.
Hyah! I'm going to
make them stop
this plane.
You've got to do
Not now, son.
Left foot on yellow,
That's Harvey, sir.
Jimmy, Harvey--who cares?
Left foot on yellow.
Excuse me, but--
what are you--
some kind of weirdo?
Get out of here.
Ooh! Aah!
Oh, mama.
Honk honk!
I am going to
kick your--
Now, stop playing
with the lights.
I'm trying to dream.
Can't you see
I'm trying to dream?
Yes, mama.
I'm going to get
that stinking clown.
Johnny: Hold it
right there,
painty-face boy.
That's it,
you big, dumb,
This time you've
gone too far.
"Pull string."
Sounds good to me.
Honk honk.
Oh, yeah. Now
I got the bait.
Hyah! Time to kick
some clowny butt.
Yo, clown boy!
I've got a little
friend for you.
Honk honk honk
honk honk honk honk!
and honking]
[Toilet flushing]
Now I can finally
rest easy.
Pilot: All right,
who got rid
of the clown
on the wing?
It was I--
Johnny bravo.
You fool,
he was a vital part
of our duo-clowny wing
balance outta-lotta.
The other clown is
doing his best,
but how in the world
do you expect us
to land this plane
with only one clown?
I can explain.
[All shouting]
Oh, tom
Ha ha ha!
Narrator: The flight
of Mr. bravo is concluded now--
a flight not only
from point "a" to point "b,"
but to points
"c," "d," "e,"
"f," "g," "h," "I,"
"j," and "k"--
for Mr. bravo has just flown
directly through the zone
where normal things
don't happen very often.
Honk honk.
Mr. Johnny bravo,
existing for the moment
on a speck
of chronological sediment
in the grand river of time,
but of course
every eddy, every current
meets a stone here and there
that displaces the flow.
Part of it rushes to one side,
part of it to the other.
Mr. bravo is
about to travel
straight through the middle
into the zone
where normal things
don't happen very often.
Announcer: The all-new
1999 firestorm.
You got to get one.
Oh, mama!
I got to get one.
Mama, I need
some money
to buy a car.
If you want a car
so badly,
why don't you
get a job?
Oh, hush up,
Now here's
the help wanted page.
"I want," "I want,"
"I need," "I need"--
wait a second.
What's this?
"Baby-sitter wanted
for 6-year-old boy.
"Child all-powerful.
Please think happy thoughts.
Call 555-0198."
Wow! I get paid
for sitting around watching TV
while some brat
takes a nap.
No problemo.
Oh, hi. You must
be Johnny.
We're glad to see you,
Johnny--real glad.
Uh, yeah. I'm here
to baby-sit for little Timmy.
Oh, he's such
a good boy.
He's the best
little boy ever.
Yeah, well,
can I come in?
It's nice that
you want to come in.
Timmy's in the den.
It's good
that he's in there.
I like that he's
in the den.
Ok, I get
the point.
This is Timmy.
Hey, look at that.
He spilled grape juice
on your carpet.
You want me to send him
to bed without supper?
Oh, no. Timmy did
a good thing
to the carpet.
We like
that he spilled.
The new color
is much better
than the old color--
much better indeed.
Much better.
Ok, you guys
are starting
to freak me out.
Look, why don't you just
take off and let me
deal with Billy?
Now, Johnny, please
remember to think
only happy thoughts.
Think of good things,
Yeah, sure.
Hey, what's
with the shoes?
Ha ha! Timmy likes it
when I wear the shoes
you can hear.
Everyone likes
That's right.
That's right.
Everyone does.
Ok, that's about
enough of that.
[Shoes squeaking]
Timmy likes
Beat it!
All right, kid, now,
I'm doing this
for the money,
so I don't want any trouble
from you, you hear?
You shouldn't
yell at me.
Oh? And why not?
I like
happy thoughts.
If you think
bad thoughts,
I'll make you go
in the corn field.
[Imitating timmy]
"Make you go
in the corn field."
Yeah, what a brat.
What the--
hey, what's going on
here? Hyah!
How did you do that?
I can do anything.
Well, then knock it off.
Can you do that?
You keep thinking
bad things about me.
Aah! Aah!
Ooh! Oh!
Hot mama!
Hot! Hot! Hot!
Ha ha! Johnny
on fire. Ha ha!
Aah! Aah!
Wait a second.
Stop, drop,
and roll.
All right, kid,
that's it.
You're going to bed.
Man, now, I am really
getting ticked.
What kind of
mutant squirt
are you, anyway?
That's a bad thing
to say.
Now, look here,
will Robinson,
this is getting
really old really fast,
so you either quit
messing around now, or I--
wait a second.
Something ain't right.
Oh, man.
Oh, kid, you are
asking for it.
You better be
a nice man.
You better think
nice things about me.
Or what?
Whoa, mama.
You think big, bad things,
so I made you little.
So much for
the punishment
fitting the crime.
Ok, Timmy,
I don't care
if I am
two inches high.
Oh, mama.
Well, Johnny,
thanks for baby-sitting.
Isn't Timmy
the best ever?
Wow. I was
just thinking
the same thing
About Timmy--
that he's
real good.
Real good.
All right,
Mr. and Mrs. psycho,
I'm going to want
some extra cash for this,
and if you'll take my advice,
put that kid to bed
and keep him there
for the rest of his life.
Oh, Timmy goes to bed
whenever he wants to,
and not before.
not before.
He's such
a good boy.
Timmy likes
the circus.
I'm out of here.
Oh, Johnny, Johnny boy,
I'm so proud of you.
Enough odd jobs,
and you'll have the money
for a car in no time.
Ah, forget it,
The 1999 firestorm
ain't looking
so fiery anymore.
A good night's sleep,
and I can put
this work nonsense behind me.
And tomorrow I'll get back
to what's really important.
Ah, man!
Mr. Johnny bravo--
the victim of a simplistic,
childish mind
which by some twist
of fate
was crowned grand ladle
to the percolating stew kettle
called humanity.
Mr. bravo--on the outskirts
of the zone
where normal things
don't happen very often.
Hi. I'm Johnny bravo,
What the--
now, hold on a--ugh!
Arggh! Whoa!
Sorry about that, folks.
Hey, look,
I'm counting.
Narrator: Submitted
for your perusal--
a man named Johnny bravo
enjoying a seemingly normal day
by the pool,
little knowing he is
about to dive headfirst
into the deep end
of the zone
where normal things
don't happen very often.
Man, I love when
my heinie gets
all sunshiny.
Don't you,
[Johnny growls]
I like
my women thin.
Hi, Johnny.
Neat doll.
What are you
doing here, kid?
I came to show you
my new doll.
Isn't she cool?
Her name is
talky Tabitha.
Know what she does?
Gets her little butt
out of my yard and--
nope. She talks.
Just pull the string,
My name is
talky Tabitha,
and I love
Wow. That's great,
kid. Now--
except you,
Johnny bravo.
I think you're
a real jerk.
Hey, your doll just
called me a jerk.
Ha ha. Very funny,
Hey, want to have
a tea party with us?
No, thanks, kid.
I've got better things
to think about, like me.
Suzy! Lunchtime!
Ok, mom! See you
later, Johnny.
Hey, kid, you forgot
your doll!
Oh, well.
Time to take a big dip
into lake Johnny. Hyah!
I don't think
you listen
very well.
Beg your pardon?
Oh! Whoa!
Hey, you can't do that.
You're just a doll.
I'm a doll, all right--
a very special doll.
I can do anything
I want, Johnny dorko.
I think I heard
Suzy invite you
to a tea party,
and I think you're
going to go
Or else little Suzy
will be serving tea
with a side order
of shish ke-bravo.
What should I bring?
Hi, kid. I'm here
for the tea party.
You are?
But I can't stay
long--er! Ooh!
Than 10--ow! Ers--
hours--10 hours.
And you brought
Oh, I missed you.
And I missed you, too.
But you, Johnny,
I won't miss.
I'm a really good
Man, I hate dolls.
Today we're featuring
a very mild blend
of darjeeling
and chamomile
with a modest hint
of saffron.
It's quite satisfying--
tarty yet not too chichi.
Got any root beer?
Let me go check.
Tabitha, you stay
here with Johnny.
Now's my chance.
[Animal snarling]
Oh! Ow! Ooh!
Bad kitty. Ooh!
I see
you've met diablo.
Now, listen,
raggedy evil.
I've had
just about enough--
whoa! Ooh!
Thanks for
entertaining Tabitha
while I was gone,
Hey, kid,
your doll's
Sure, Johnny,
and I'm Tina Turner.
Oh, yeah, an all-girl jury.
Looks like
Johnny had
a little too much
tea, Tabitha.
You stay here
and watch him
while I go get
the soybean
Huh? Help! Help! Fire!
Get me some water!
Ugh! Oh!
It's not nice to sleep
at Suzy's party.
What about bleeding?
Oh, that's ok.
I encourage it.
for volunteering
to model for me,
Ah, don't mention it.
Ok, hold still
while I go and get
the fishnet stockings.
Hey! Look over there!
It's Pinocchio!
Hyah! All right,
Dolly wolly doodle,
time you and me
had a serious talk.
Ooh, I hate it
when people use
to distract me.
Thanks, lady.
Ha ha! So ends
the Dolly follies.
Whoa, mama!
Ok, Johnny, I give.
You give?
Like, give up?
Nope. I give
You a hand grenade.
Ha ha ha!
Well, that's one way
to exercise the glutes.
Have a nice time
on the moon,
devil Dolly.
I guess you learned
your lesson, huh?
I sure did, Johnny.
Hey, can you grant me
one last request?
Ok, but I got to
warn you--
I don't give away
locks of my hair.
Ha ha! No, Johnny,
nothing like that.
Could you open this jug
of turbo glue for me?
Now, could you dump it
around your feet?
All right,
but that's it.
I'm not taking
orders from a doll.
Thank you.
No problem.
P.A.: 3, 2, 1,
Blastoff? No!
[Johnny groaning]
Bye, Johnny!
It's been fun!
I sure showed her.
Oh, man,
it's good to be home.
Ooh! Hi, Johnny.
Look at my new
doll collection.
They had a big sale
on the shopping
and I just had to
have them.
This one came
from the moon!
All: We'd like a word with you,
Johnny bravo.
A sweet little doll--
harmless toy
or instrument of destruction?
You be the judge,
or better yet,
ask Johnny bravo,
a man whose case
has just been tried
in the court
of the zone
where normal things
don't happen very often.
Hyah! Anybody want
to buy a doll?
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
Public performance of captions
prohibited without permission of
ha ha ha!
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