Johnny Bravo (1997) s01e12 Episode Script

The Man Who Cried 'Clown!'/Johnny, Real Good/Little Talky Tabitha!

1, 2, 3, hyah!
Check the pecs. Hee! Ha! Huh!
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me! Come on!
Hey there, baby.
Oh! Uh!
Yeah, whatever.
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let's see what's on the tube.
[Upbeat music plays]
Hi. I'm Adam west.
Here on the Adam west show,
I help people just like you
to fight those everyday villains
you meet in your hometown.
Today, my guest is
little Cory Brooks.
Hi, Mr. west.
Do you really fight
all those bad guys on TV?
How old are you,
I sure do, Billy.
So what's
your trouble?
There's this
mean kid that
beats me up and
takes my lunch money.
Ah, the bully
The most vile
of all knaves.
Well, I went to Donny's hometown
of Kent, Connecticut,
to take on this miscreant
face to face.
Cory: There he is,
Mr. west.
Hi. Are you
the bully?
Well, come here.
I want to introduce you
to my friends, the dogs.
Their favorite food is faces.
Well, needless to say,
everything turned out great.
Right, Bobby?
Aw, that's a nice story.
[Clock beeping]
Oh, my gosh!
It's 6:01!
But mama was supposed to be
home from shopping by 6:00.
Something must've happened.
Maybe she's been kidnapped.
I'm running out of time!
I got to save mama.
But I'm gonna need some help.
I'm Adam west,
and remember,
I want to help you.
Ha. Adam west's house.
Nice place.
[Squeak, honk]
Don't you hate
when that happens?
Who are you,
Johnny bravo.
Oh. Well, hand me
that towel.
What can I do
for you, Mr. bravo?
Well, my mama's
been kidnapped.
By whom?
Well, that's just it.
I--I don't know.
She was supposed
to be home by 6:00.
Come 6:01,
she still wasn't back.
Hmm, that is strange.
I--I saw your program,
and I figured you could
help me get her back.
I see.
SoCan you help?
Now, as I'm sure
you know, Jenny--
As I'm sure you know,
that's just a TV show.
Oh, shoot.
You wouldn't believe
what I spend on tailoring.
Anyway, as I said,
it's just a TV show.
Hand me that shirt,
would you?
However, Betty,
wherever there's
a life at stake,
I have no qualms
about getting tough.
I knew you were the right guy
to come to.
All right, then
Let's go get your mama.
To the Adam west mobile!
Shoot! That's a dumb
name, isn't it?
No, it's fine.
Oh, come on.
Knock it off.
Wait a minute.
[Tires screech]
What's that?
What's what?
Our first clue--
a 3rd Avenue
candy bar wrapper,
conveniently discarded
on top of this trash heap--
a little too
conveniently, I think.
Almost as if someone
wanted us to find it.
Someone's toying
with us, Mr. bravo.
And no one makes
a sit and spin
out of Adam west.
We got to get
to 3rd Avenue!
[Tires screech]
All right, Johnny.
Our next clue
is bound to show up
around here.
Adam: Beijing mama's
Chinese food. Ha ha!
The clever couching
of the word "mama"
in the name of that
restaurant doesn't
fool us for a second.
Not us.
Not us, indeed.
I've got a hunch
our next clue is
somewhere inside.
Here's some tea
to start you off, gentlemen.
Don't drink that.
It might be poisoned.
Dump it in that plant
and see if it dies.
[Heart beating]
Oh, that was close.
We're safe, for now.
Johnny, look next to
the soy sauce.
Fortune cookies!
Could be
our next clue.
No, wait.
There could be
a bomb inside.
Give itTo me.
what does it say?
"Your heart's afire."
HmmThat rhymes with
"tarts on a wire,"
which in turn sounds
like "carts for hire."
Kelly, your mother's being
held at the golf course!
Holy guacamole!
We got to save her!
No time to waste,
To the golf course!
Nothing yet--wait!
[Tires screech]
That hole with the red flag
sticking out of it.
I see it.
Obviously indicative
of an evil,
underground race
of savage mole people!
Oh, no! You think
they've got mama?
I believe these mole people are
planning to induct your mother
into their twisted society
of subterranean degeneracy
as a source of genetic harvest
with which they plan
to create a hybrid race
of rodent homo sapiens
for the sole purpose of
conquering the galaxy!
What are we gonna do?
We've got to dig
to the central Metropolis
of moleville
and rescue her by force!
I'll get some
Good man.
And I've got a friend
with some heavy machinery.
[Mechanical noises]
Keep digging, Johnny!
We're bound to hit
one of their skyscrapers!
Well, well.
What have we here?
Adam: Officer, quick.
Bring more men
and equipment.
And inflatable rafts--
bring inflatable rafts!
We'll need them when
we reach the underground
river of the mole men.
Officer: Well, actually,
we had something else in mind.
This is obviously
a cage of some sort.
Well, no matter.
I've gotten out
of tighter spots.
All right, bravo.
Your bail's here.
Mama! You're ok!
Well, of course
I am, Johnny boy.
I got home a little late
from shopping, honey.
And when I heard what happened,
I rushed right down here.
It's good to see
you're safe, ma'am.
Mr. west, I can't say
you've been a good
influence on my son.
Well, Mrs. bravo, I know it
may seem like that to you now,
but there are things a man
must do in the name of good,
tough decisions that
have to be made to get to
the bottom of a situation.
Things that..
Hello? Hello?
[Carnival music plays]
Oh, Johnny, isn't
the circus just dreamy?
Oh, yeah
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
my newest mind-control slave,
I mean, my newest act,
jungle boy!
Crowd: Yay.
Take it away, jungle boy!
Crowd: Ooh
Crowd: Aah
Crowd: Ohh
Take a bow, jungle brat.
Crowd: Yay!
And I'm your ringmaster,
Vivian ViXen.
Good night, wonderful people
of Aron city,
and remember,
the circus is your friend.
Vivian ViXenRrowr!
It's like
destiny calling.
Hyah! Ooh!
Johnny, does
jungle boy seem
a little odd
to you today?
What? Do you mean
the little 2-year-old
wearing a loincloth,
performing random feats
of superhuman strength?
No. Why?
Well, it seemed
like he was,
I don't know,
or something.
[Dramatic music plays]
Did you hear
I think Vivian ViXen
is up to something evil.
We'd better
check her out.
I couldn't agree
with you more.
Well, jungle boy, thanks to
my mind-control device and
your super strength,
I'll be a millionaire
by the end of the fiscal year.
Ha ha ha ha!
Oh, my gosh! Did you
hear that, Johnny?
Oh, yeah! Ha ha.
I dig the way
she laughs.
No, she's holding
jungle boy prisoner
with a mind-
controlling device.
To make him
do tricks.
What for?
To make lots
of money!
Who's doing what?
Vivian ViXen
is controlling
jungle boy's mind!
[Dramatic music plays]
So is that a bad thing?
Come on!
Ok, Johnny.
You distract miss ViXen,
and I'll grab the mind-
controlling device.
I like the way that sounds.
Miss ViXen is fixin'
to start mixin' it up with me.
Hyah! Oh, yeah!
ViXen Bo-bixen,
Will you go
Today is your rendezvous
with destiny, miss ViXen.
I like saying that.
ViXen! ViXen! ViXen!
ViXen. ViXen.
Excuse me, but
this area is private.
And so am I--
private first class
lover boy,
at your service.
I could be your newest
attraction--the perfect man!
Jungle boy, please remove
thisThis testosterone
anachronism from my sight.
Oh, yeah! She called me
an anac--an--Ana--an--
is that a good thing?
Now, where were we?
Oh, yeah--
hyah! Check it out!
Barnum and Bailey!
Oh, jungle boy!
Ha ha ha ha!
What the--?!
I've got it! I've got it!
I've got the mind-
controlling device!
Come back here,
you little brat!
Gimme that!
Didn't your mama
teach you not to steal
from beautiful women?
Unless, of course,
you steal their hearts.
Oh, my gosh,
She's gotten
to you, too!
You're a victim
of mind control!
[Dramatic music plays]
Mind control? Ha!
It would take more
than a little old
mind-controlling device
to control me.
Here! Bravo boy!
Yes, ma'am!
Jungle boy, get rid of
this buffoon once and for all.
Hey, look, guys.
It's jungle boy.
[Animals shouting at once]
Oh, my goodness! Look!
Jungle boy's mind is
being controlled by some
sort of mind-controlling device!
[Dramatic music plays]
Who keeps playing
that music?
Do it, jungle boy.
Drop him in!
No! Don't!
Vivian: Yes!
Suzy: No!
Man, I love
slow motion.
Oh, my gosh!
What am I doing?!
Hey! What are you guys
doing up there?
Vivian ViXen was
controlling your mind
with her evil machine.
Well, that's
not right.
I don't mean
to be rude,
but you're
a cold-hearted snake!
Hey! What's that
supposed to mean?
Suzy: Well, what are you going
to do now, jungle boy?
I don't know.
I was thinking
of finding
a nice, quiet corner
of Montana,
settling down,
and trying to stay
out of history's way.
Couldn't you just
return to the jungle
and live happily
ever after?
Oh, yeah!
There's that, too.
Come on,
animal friends!
Let's go home.
OhI was beginning
to like the oil.
So, miss ViXen
Since your circus is ruined,
with your prime attraction
being gone and all,
how's about you
concentrating on me? Hyah!
Your primal
You knowHa ha.
I think I know exactly
what I want to do with you.
Suzie, crowd: Yay!
Ladies and gentlemen,
I give you the one,
the onlyJohnny bravo!
[Plays harmonica as
chain saws buzz]
Never had one lesson. Ha ha!
AahIt's a beautiful day
The kind of a day
where nothing can go wrong.
Oh! Oh!
You forgot your pants!
Oh, manI thought
it was kind of drafty.
[Honking, laughing]
Come on, Johnny!
Give soiled Sally
a kiss!
Forget it, kid!
Ain't gonna happen.
I got a responsibility
to my masculinity.
I kiss your doll,
next thing you know,
I'm ironing my own shirts.
Please, Johnny?
Oh! Oh! My favorite
oak cabinet!
I won that on sale
of the century!
Oops. Y-you still
got your consolation
prizes, right?
The vegetable oil?
No. I used it up.
Dear me, Johnny!
I would've expected
better of you!
But apparently you're
not responsible enough
to be left alone
without supervision.
you need a nanny.
A nanny?!
Would she look like
Fran drescher?
Now, do you feel
you are qualified
to supervise a boy
Johnny's age?
Oh, yes, I simply
adore children.
And I feel
I really have the--
ability to connect with
them on their own--
So, do I get the job?
We'll call you.
Great. Hope
to hear from you.
Put that one on
the psycho list.
Do you deal well
with young people?
Oh, yes. I know
how to handle them.
Course, I have
a little help from
Mr. leather strap
and his roommate,
Mr. hickory stick.
They speak
the kids' language.
We'll call you.
Call her what?
'Cause I can think
of a few things.
So, tell me again
why you want the job,
MrDonny osmond?
Well, shoot.
I just love kids.
I'm a grown man!
Thumbs up!
Johnny: Huh?
Oh, how delightful!
And so handsome!
You're hired.
He's not even
a chick, mama.
NoBut I'm
a fast learner.
Donny: Buck up, Johnny.
I've got all sorts of
fun stuff for us to do.
Like what?
I'm taking you to
Peter the horse's
burger fun house!
You've got
to be kidding me.
[Electronic voice]
Hi, kids!
Welcome to Peter's!
Donny: Looks like
a good time,
doesn't it, Johnny?
Why don't you
jump in the balls?
Why don't you
jump in the river?
Ha ha! There's
no river here.
Only good, clean fun.
Come on!
It's exercise.
Oh, man.
Which way is up?
I could get lost forever
in here.
Excuse me, kid.
How do I get out of
these balls?
Good question.
I've been in here
since I was 5.
Hey there!
Did you have fun?
I want to go now.
Sure thing, Johnny.
We've still got
lots more to do.
[Choir singing,
birds chirping]
Johnny: All right,
what's the guitar for?
I'm going to teach you
how to sing, Johnny.
And I'm gonna teach you
how to shut up.
Oh, neat!
It'll be like a trade!
Ok. Here's a fun way
to remember the musical notes.
A, like Nick
from family ties
b, the bug you try to dodge
c, the thing
your eyes do best
d, and rerun,
Dwayne, and raj
ok, hold up there,
perky boy.
Can I see that
for a second?
My guitar?
Yeah, the guitar.
I--I want to sing
a different tune.
Hey, neat idea!
We'll have a sing-along!
Everybody wins
with a sing-along!
Right, yeah,
A sing-along.
[Johnny grunts]
Hey, that wasn't
very nice.
Yeah, that's a dang
shame when that happens.
But it's ok.
I also brought
my bagpipes.
[Piping loudly]
What do you want
to do now, Johnny?
Hey, how about
we play hide-and-seek?
Hey, fun!
Ok, I'll count.
You hide.
Uno, dos,
tres, cuatro
[Laughter on TV]
[Doorbell rings]
Hey, why'd
you do that?
Do what?
Run off and leave me
looking for nothing.
I didn't run off.
I justCame back
for some hot cocoa.
Now I'll hide.
Ok. Bye.
Oh, hello, Johnny.
Where's your nanny?
He's hiding.
Well, I'm so
glad this is
all working out!
Me, too, mama.
Me, too.
Ha ha ha.
He'll never find me here.
[Rooster crows]
Ah! A brand-new day with
brand-new possibilities.
HeyJohnny never
came looking for me.
Ha ha ha ha.
I'm a better hider
than I thought.
[Doorbell rings]
Oh, get that,
would you, Johnny?
Sure, mama.
I win!
Win what?
I win!
Oh, yeah, right.
Ooh, man, you stink
like a landfill.
It's the smell
of victory, Johnny.
Donny, where
have you been?
Weren't you supposed
to be watching Johnny?
Johnny, did you
get into any trouble
while I was gone?
No, Donny.
I was sleeping.
You see, Mrs. bravo?
Johnny no longer
needs a nanny.
My work here
is done.
Oh, DonnyWill we
ever see you again?
Who can say?
There are so many children
just like Johnny
who desperately
need my services.
Mama, there goes
a real weirdo.
Donny: Remember, Johnny,
keep a dream in your heart,
and always reach for the--
Ok, that was a bad idea.
Can I borrow your car?
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
Public performance of captions
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