Johnny Bravo (1997) s01e13 Episode Script

Johnny Bravo Meets Adam West/Under the Big Flop/Johnny Bravo Meets Donny Osmond

1, 2, 3, hyah!
Check the pecs. Hee! Ha! Huh!
Man, I'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me! Come on!
Hey there, baby.
Oh! Uh!
Yeah, whatever.
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
the Aron city zoo
Not necessarily
the most happening spot in town.
It's a rather peaceful haven
for those who want to relax,
take a stroll,
or pick up chicks.
Excuse me, mister.
Excuse me, mister.
Not now, kid.
I'm busy.
Excuse me, mister.
Now, look here, missy.
I hope you don't take
this the wrong way
or anything,
but there's just too big
of a generation gap
between the two of us.
But all I want to know
is what time it is.
There, there,
I don't mean to
break your heart,
but then again,
I'm a heartbreaker.
How about a kiss
there, missy?
Well, now that we
know each other
a little better
Eat this!
Ooh! Oh! Ooh! Oh!
Oh, mama!
I have to get going
now, sir.
Hey! What are you
looking at?
I've eaten chiliburgers
bigger than you.
[Woman screams]
What the
[Woman panting]
Oh, man!
I dig it when chicks run.
[Woman panting]
Say, baby,
how's about you and I--
out of my way,
Get off of me,
you son of a handbag!
That ought to teach you
a lesson in manners.
Now, that's
my kind of woman!
Say, what's the matter,
little mama?
Our prize gorilla
has escaped
from its cage.
Enough about you.
Let's talk about me,
Johnny bravo.
What do you think?
Aren't I having
a good hair day?
Ha! Be brutal, mama.
Excuse me?
Why don't we grab
ourselves a couple of
thick, juicy steaks?
I know of a place
down the road.
I don't think
you understand.
What? Are you
a vegetarian?
No. There's a 900-pound
gorilla on the loose.
Now hold on, missy.
A gorilla. 900 pounds.
On the loose?
Ma'am, I'd be more
than happy to help you
find your gorilla.
You must be joking.
I mean, to capture
a gorilla,
I'd need, like, maybe
an army or a superhero.
That would be nice.
Ma'am, today's
your lucky day,
because I just happen
to be a superhero.
You certainly don't look
like a superhero.
Did I mention
my special powers?
Oh, no. You didn't
mention those.
Missy, you're looking
at the only man
to have ever earned
his black belt in every form
of martial art in the world.
What the
[Heavy footsteps]
Did I mention that
I'm still studying
sumo wrestling?
Hmm. You know,
come to think of it,
I guess I could use
the help of a superhero.
I knew it!
You know, I have
a sensitive side, too.
I can bring home
the bacon
I can even cook
I'll have
your gorilla back
faster than you can make
a peanut butter
and banana sandwich
and deep-fry that bad boy.
UhThank you.
Oh, won't you come home,
bill Bailey
won't you come home
I cried
the whole night long
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
You are the man. Ow!
Excuse me, mister.
Have you seen
a gorilla hiding
anywhere around here?
A gorilla? Hmm.
Refresh my memory, babe.
What exactly does
a gorilla look like?
Well, they're, uh
They're, uh
They're big.
Yeah. Big. This one's
about 900 pounds.
My goodness.
What else?
Yeah. Uh, they're
They're big.
And, uhBig,
and, uhUgly!
Yeah. Big and ugly.
Hmm. You know what?
I did see one of those gorilla
things about an hour ago,
but he was certainly not
what I would have called ugly.
Oh, no, babe.
He was more like
the Mel Gibson of monkeydom.
Yeah, whatever.
Do you know which way
the gorilla went?
Forsooth, nay.
Alas, I looked away
as he strayed.
But hey, how about
I help you find
this gorilla, babe?
Mister, I don't think
you understand who
you're talking to.
I am Johnny bravo,
the one-man army.
Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh! Huh!
So you just stay out
of the way and leave
the superheroing to me.
No problemo.
Did you see a gorilla
run by here?
Did you see a gorilla
run by here?
Did you see a gorilla
run by here?
Did you see a
So I was wondering,
you wouldn't happen to be
hiding any gorillas underneath
them clothes, would you?
Ha! Huh! Huh!
She wants me.
[Gorilla humming]
Stick 'em up!
What are you going
to do, arrest me?
Will you be quiet
and get in the alley?
Aren't we a bit
on the grouchy side?
Give me your wallet,
you fat cow!
What did you call me?
Put down that gun.
What theAh!
Fat cow, am I?
Didn't your mother
teach you any manners,
Mr. love handles?
You are a p-I-g, pig!
Swine is what you are.
Hey! Take it easy
there, kid.
Your mama's so big
that when she wore
high heels, she struck oil.
Your face is so ugly,
you could make an onion cry.
You are so fat--
now hold on, kid.
That there wouldn't
happen to be
the gorilla?
Hmm. Could be.
Sure is ugly enough
to be in a zoo.
Woman: Well!
So there you are.
Can I have my gorilla now?
Why, yes, ma'am.
I've got him
Don't I get any kind
of reward for this--
a kiss, a date,
a hearty handshake?
Reward? I would
go out with you,
but it looks
as though you've
already got a date.
This is
cute and all,
but I have a wife.
What are you looking at?
Deep in the darkest
jungles of Africa
No, deeper
Still deeper.
Now, darker
Well, maybe not that dark.
[Monkeys shouting at once]
It is here that one man reigns
over all he surveys.
One man
Uh, boy.
Well, that was fun.
Animal: Oh! Help!
Somebody help!
The dam is broken!
The dam is broken!
Oh! Jungleboy!
I'm so glad you're here.
Now, you just hold there
for a while.
I think I'm beginning
to wrinkle.
Well, it looks like the day
has been saved again,
thanks to jungleboy.
It seems as though jungleboy
has single-handedly captured
the hearts of millions
here in the jungle.
He is just too darn cute!
Yeah. He's what all
my kids talk about--
jungleboy this,
jungleboy that.
He dammed up the river
using my butt.
We'll have more jungleboy
after these messages.
Yeah. Yeah.
Salon perm?
No. Jungleboy!
Jungleboy home perm.
I was in an accident.
Jungleboy got me
$6.5 million.
TV announcer: See Brooke shields
and jungleboy
in escape to the blue lagoon.
Hey! That was
supposed to be my part!
Where's Rupert? Rupert!
Who is this jungleboy,
and why am I not starring
opposite Brooke shields
in a movie?
Because, your highness,
he's the man.
Everybody's supposed to
love me, not jungleboy.
Where are my royal subjects?
My subjects still love me.
My subjects!
Royal subjects.
So then he offered
to pick all the bugs
out of my fur,
and naturally
I was flattered.
Hello, girls.
Girls: Hello, king Raymond.
What kind of animals are you?
What's wrong?
Look, girls! Aah!
It's jungleboy!
Hello, girls.
[Girls screaming
and talking at once]
Thank you.
I have to get going now.
Thank you.
Ahh! Ooh!
Don't you girls know?
He's a human.
He's going to grow up
someday and kill us all.
As if!
Come on, girls.
Something needs to be done
about that jungleboy.
I need to expose him
for the evil creature he is,
and I know just how to do it.
[Raymond laughing]
Let's see now.
Peachy skin
No one will ever know!
Now it's time for
operation hate jungleboy.
All: Oh, look!
It's jungleboy!
Oh, blow it
out your ear.
Did you guys hear what
jungleboy just said?
Reports have been coming in
from all over the jungle
that jungleboy has turned
into a Stark-raving lunatic.
I looked outside,
and there he was,
just dancing around
in the underwear
I'd just put out
on the clothesline.
I'm just thankful
they were clean.
While some couldn't believe
what they saw,
most mammals
were just plain stunned.
I'm just plain stunned.
Jungleboy sawed
my horn off.
He dammed up the river
using my butt.
Mary antelope: We'll have more
reports as this story breaks.
Back to you, nawanda.
Raymond: Let's see who's got it
going on now, Mr. jungleboy.
[Animals talking at once]
Hello, animal folk.
Look, guys.
It's jungleboy again.
How dare he show
his face in public?
Now, just ignore him,
and he'll go away.
Whatcha doin'?
Oh! I can't look
at him.
We can't stay mad
at jungleboy.
He's just a kid.
He didn't know
what he was doing.
[Animals talking at once]
All: We're sorry,
Can we worship and idolize you
like we did before?
Raymond: Stop!
What's going on here?
Don't you know
jungleboy's evil?
He doesn't even recycle,
for crying out loud.
You said it yourselves.
Hey! There's
two of them!
Animal: But which one's
the real jungleboy?
Oh, I'm the real
jungleboy. Yeah.
He's an impostor.
He was out there
trying to taint my name.
You've got to
believe me.
Look how cute I am.
Hey! My name's
jungleboy, too.
Oh, yeah? Well,
let's have a contest.
I bet I can hold
a note longer
than you can.
there. I told you
I'm jungleboy.
Hey! Jungleboy
never wore a wig.
Yeah. And he never
sang no opera, either.
Hey, look!
Second animal:
That's not jungleboy.
That's Raymond.
All: Raymond?
Nobody move,
or the kid gets it.
Ooh! Ah!
Mr. monkey, I'm appalled
at your behavior.
Hey, everybody!
What do you say we
tar and feather Raymond?
Get him!
Get him!
Raymond: Aah!
So once again, jungleboy
is the man of the hour.
Jungleboy, you've had
quite an exciting day.
How do you feel?
Ha ha ha!
Can you change
my diaper?
Hello Johnny.
It's activity time!
There's a rhino hiding some
where in this room
can you find him before
the kids at home do?
Hey, no problem.
Excuse me.
Times up.
Ha ha, I'm right here
you big dumb jerk.
Hey buddy you see any rhinos
around here?
Crowd: Oh, oh, oh!
Man: Thar she blows!
Now, that was a beauty.
Narrator: Whale watching.
Studies indicate that
whale watching is one
of the best ways
for man to get in touch
with himself,
to get in touch with nature,
and to get in touch with chicks.
Hey there, little lady.
Do you mind?
You're in my way.
Yeah, I know.
You smell kind of pretty.
Want to smell me?
Hey, pepper spray.
Don't they use that for--
oh! Ah! Oh! Ha! Oh!
She's in denial.
[Horn blowing]
Aah! Aah!
Ah! Ooh! Hey! Ah! Whoa!
Ooh! Hey! Ah!
Ooh! Hey! Ah! Whoa! Uh!
Oh, mama!
[Woman singing]
Hmm. That voice.
Where is that voice
coming from?
oh, man.
You want to see
my chest hair?
It's blond
and curly.
Wow! She sure is
a whole lot of woman.
What's your hurry,
By the way,
I didn't catch
your name.
Get out of my way.
Is it trixie?
I said move!
Do you hear me?
You know what? I bet
your name's Mickey
'cause you're so fine.
You're so fine--
my name is of no importance
to you, midget boy.
I am an Amazon;
Thus, I am a warrior.
You have no right
being on this island,
so be off,
or feel my wrath.
Did you say
you're a warrior?
Yes, I did.
Want to mud wrestle?
Why am I wasting
my time with you?
[Tarzan yell]
Oh! Now, that's
a mating call!
Yes, Melissa?
See this?
Make sure this
doesn't follow me
back to the village
of beautiful women.
of beautiful women?
Yes, ma'am.
I don't even want him
anywhere near the village
of beautiful women.
of beautiful women?
Yes, ma'am.
Huh! Did she say village
of beautiful women?
As in more than one
beautiful woman?
I don't know.
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
Mister, this is getting
really old really fast. Huh!
I've already wasted enough
time, so if you don't mind,
I've got me some
mountains to climb.
Where do you think
you're going?
Am I going to
have to fight you?
Oh! Nice briefs.
[Christopher humming]
Wait a minute.
What are you doing?
Don't hate me
because I am beautiful.
Take those tightie-whities
off now, you hear me?
Oh, all right.
Here, crybaby.
[Christopher laughing]
You're going to pay
for all this.
Oh! Ooh! Ah!
Ooh! Ah! Oh!
Mr. man,
don't get me angry.
You wouldn't like me
when I am angry.
No. It's personal.
Oh. Scaredy you.
Mister, it seems
to me thatHuh?
Say, isn't that
don knotts right
there behind you?
Don knotts? Don knotts?
Don knotts?
Hey! I hate it when people
use don knotts to deceive me.
Welcome to the village
of beautiful women.
Hubba! Hubba!
Oh, man!
You chicks are pretty!
Come on! Do the monkey
with me! Come on!
[Tarzan yell]
[Tarzan yell]
So you're one of them
screamer types, too, huh?
Wait a second.
What's going on
out here?
Johnny: If you don't
get off of me
Did you let that
imbecile follow you
back to the village?
Well, kind of.
Hmm. We're going to
have to take care of him
now that he's found
the island.
I could be
the town masseuse.
Looks like we're
going to have to do
the virgin sacrifice.
I took one of them
massage courses in the mail.
Guards! Guards!
Now, ladies, there's
no point in fighting.
I've got enough
rubbing oil for everybody.
Don't I get
a last request?
You'll get nothing
and like it.
Tell it like it is,
Oh, great Athena,
we give you this virgin
as a sacrifice
to your beauty
and womanhood.
Did she say virgin?
And I ask that you bless
our plentiful land
with great fortune and mirth.
Excuse me, ma'am, but--oh!
We offer this heathen
in your name.
Yeah, whatever.
Christopher: I got
a bad feeling about this.
[Women screaming]
Well, that was fun.
Hi there.
Welcome to the island
of beautiful men.
I can already tell
you're going to feel
right at home here.
Son, you look like
you could use a refresher.
We were all
about to take a swim.
I've got an extra swimsuit
if you'd care to join us.
Captioning made possible by
Turner entertainment group
and U.S. department of education
captioning performed by
the national captioning
institute, inc.
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