Johnny Bravo (1997) s02e02 Episode Script

Johnny, Get Your Tutu/Johnny's Inferno/Forest Chump

1, 2, 3, hyah!
Man, i'm pretty.
Hyuh! Ha! Hyuh!
Do the monkey with me.
Come on.
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
and u.S. Department of education
Bills, bills, jury duty,
Junk mail!
Oh, baby!
Hi, johnny.
Can't talk now, little girl.
I'm a busy dude.
Look what i made
for you, johnny.
It's a picture
of pebbles
in snow.
That's pretty. Now get away.
I got work to do.
Don't worry,
johnny. I won't
bother you.
I'll just sit here
and draw some pictures.
Hi, johnny. Mwah!
Oh, mama!
Move along, buster.
"let our computers
pick the career for you."
Hot dang.
A career test.
Give me that.
Thank you
very much.
"can you obey orders
from your superiors?"
i never met one.
"how often do you
wear a necktie:
A--always, b--sometimes,
c--never, d--i like pickles."
I like them pickles.
"d." this is
going to be easy.
I'm done!
Me, too. Look,
it's a swarm
of locusts.
Great, kid. Now,
if you'll excuse me,
I've got
a letter to send.
Mail this letter,
Right away.
And remember, kids,
Never step in front
of speeding traffic.
A ballerina? Hmm
Well, i am kind of graceful
and flexible.
And i look good
in tights.
This must be the place.
Hey, swanny mamas,
want to go back
to my place
And get downy?
Oh! Aah! Ooh!
They dig me.
Man: Just look at you,
Eating again!
You're such
a disgusting blob,
You can barely squeeze
into your tights!
Hey, nobody
talks to the great
spazcowski like that!
I quit!
Go ahead and quit!
I could teach a gorilla
to dance better than you!
Now, where the heck
am i going to find a gorilla?
Who are you?
I am johnny bravo,
and i was born
to dance.
Were you? Well, then,
put on these tights
And be on stage
in 2 minutes.
Ok, johnny, as the girls
dance in stage right,
You enter stage left,
dancing on your toes.
Director: No, no, no!
You be clumsy.
I said on your toes,
you buffoon, not theirs.
On your toes,
like this.
Now you do it.
Uh! Look at me!
I'm dancing!
In this scene, as the girls
enter from either side,
You must catch them
and set them down gently.
Catch, lift,
and set down
These are my latest
drawings, teddy:
A swarm of locusts,
ants on white bread,
Freckles on
that neighbor kid.
Hey, what's this?
Oh, no!
It's johnny's test!
I'd better mail it
for him quick.
Now, johnny,
i want you
To leap gracefully
around the stage
Like a stag
in the forest.
Stag in the forest.
I'm there.
Good. Send in
the hounds!
He's got it.
By george,
he's got it!
It's johnny's
career test results.
I've got to get
to the theater. Taxi!
Thanks, mister.
I've got to see
my friend.
Sorry, kid.
Not without
a ticket.
Tonight, you will
be performing
my masterpiece.
After tonight,
when people see me
on the street,
They will say,
"hey, there goes
One heck of
a choreographer, boy."
And you, bravo,
you will have
Pretty girls,
expensive cars--
And fancy cheeses.
Don't screw it up!
All right. Now get
in your places.
It's showtime!
I am a genius.
Johnny, i have
something for you.
Fan mail. Man,
that was quick.
No, johnny. It's
from the career center.
They made a mistake
on your test results.
Give me that.
"dear johnny, please ignore
the last set of test results.
"the only job
you are suited for
Is busting rocks
with your head."
Whoa. Suddenly,
i don't feel so good.
It's showtime,
Now get out there!
Why aren't you
in a tutu?
Can't move.
Feet feel
like stone blocks.
is he doing?
These aren't
my steps.
He's changing
my beautiful ballet!
You might as well
just rip my heart out!
You might as well
just steal my soul!
[women screaming]
I can't look!
Whoa, mama!
Whoa. Mosh pit.
Bye-bye, johnny.
Well, good-bye.
Why me?
There's only one way
to move this rock.
I'll get
the dynamite.
Kid, you got
yourself a job.
Hot dang!
"join the muscle head
book club--
A new workout every month
for only 25 cents."
Look, mommy!
He's looking
At pictures of
almost-naked men!
This is a men's
fitness magazine.
I want to look
like this,
not at this.
I got nothing
to be ashamed of.
Tv guide.
10 books for a quarter.
Can't beat that.
Man, the post office
is fast these days.
"evil secrets
of the nether regions."
Funny name
for a workout book.
Must be for them
hard-to-reach places.
Hyah! Let's get started
buffing up.
It says here, "draw a circle
with powdered head of toad."
HmmAll i got is
pretzel crumbs from the couch.
"you put your left foot in,
you put your left food out.
"you raise your arms
to the power of the underworld
And you shake it
all about." hyah!
Ha ha ha ha!
It is i, derek,
spirit of
the underworld,
Siren of darkness,
Perpetrator of
all things evil!
Is that like
a personal trainer?
UhYes, that's it.
I'm your personal
Kind of scrawny,
aren't you?
Maybe, but i
possess powers
Beyond your
wildest imaginings!
With this rube as
my unwitting pawn,
I will perpetrate
unspeakable acts
And thereby
win my horns.
Say what?
Chicken butt.
Chicken butt!
Say what?
I hate that game.
That's because
It's evil!
I got my weights.
Let's get started.
Oh, no,
my burly friend.
I have something
far more devious
In store for us--
A rampage
of horrible,
insidious mayhem!
I mean, a brisk
Let's begin here,
with some aerobics
On this pristine
bit of lawn.
But the sign says
"keep off the grass."
Oh, pooh
on your rules.
Dance, i say!
All right.
That's right, johnny.
Really tear it up.
Whoa, mama!
Look, mommy!
A horrible mutant rabbit!
It appears
that the beast
was spawned
By this
illegally buried
toxic waste.
Thank you,
young man.
Your pathetic
little dance
Has saved
countless lives.
Oh, poopy.
Johnny: I don't get it.
What are we doing here?
We're going through
the 10-item express line
With 11 items.
And we're taking
cutsies to do it.
How is this going to
help me bulk up?
those items are full
Of nourishing
What about
this margarine?
That's to, uh
Oil up your new muscles.
11 items?
Yes! 11 items.
One more than 10.
No problem here.
Oh, how about if we
pay in pennies?
Canadian pennies!
Ha ha ha ha!
I've been looking
for a 1929
Groucho glasses
queen victoria penny
All my life!
Double poopy.
I'm seething.
That's it,
Paint, johnny.
Paint like the dickens!
Why am i doing this?
twists, johnny,
To increase your
range of motion.
You're some kind
of weirdo, aren't you?
Sorry, kids.
You got to be
This tall
to ride.
[kids complaining]
Look at us, children!
We're having fun,
and you're not!
How can we
ever thank you?
You saved our children
from that defective ride.
All right,
that's it.
You're the
worst trainer
i've ever met.
I'm out of here.
Oh, no, you're not.
Hey, what just happened?
I feel kind of funny.
Demon's voice:
I possessed you.
Johnny's voice:
But i don't like it.
Demon's voice:
Tough noogies.
I'm tired of you
mucking things up.
I'm going to use
your body
To wreak havoc
on the entire world!
Johnny's voice:
How about lunch first?
Pops: Hey, johnny.
What'll it be?
Side of fries.
Demon's voice:
One side of
entrails, please.
Johnny's voice:
That's disgusting.
Demon's voice:
They're my favorite,
so be quiet!
We'll have
the hamburger special
with entrails, please.
Johnny's voice:
And extra onions.
Demon's voice:
Oh, all right.
Extra onions.
And charge it
to this card.
Sure thing.
Hey, pops.
Hey, johnny.
Johnny's acting
weird, carl.
I suspect
he's been possessed
by an evil entity.
How do you know?
He tried to pay
for his meal
With this "master
of the abyss"
credit card.
Is it true,
Have you been
possessed by
an evil entity?!
Demon's voice: Well
That was delicious. Must run.
I've got to go perpetrate
my deliciously evil plan!
UhI mean, pick up
some curvaceous chicks.
Johnny's voice:
We're going to pick up chicks?
Demon's voice: Quiet!
Johnny's voice: Sorry.
We've got to try
to stop him, carl.
What do we do?!
You follow johnny.
I have a plan.
Go! I've got
some cooking to do.
I thought you said there were
going to be babes here.
Demon's voice: Silence,
my coolest dupe!
I'm about to complete
My insidious
masterpiece of evil
And finally earn
my horns.
Stop! What
are you doing?
Oh, good. An audience
to watch me
Short-circuit the reservoir's
filter system.
Big deal. That
won't hurt anyone.
No, but it will
give the water
A nasty metally taste.
Ha ha ha ha!
Hold it, demon!
You're too late,
old man.
Oh, am i?
Johnny's voice:
Whoa, a babe
With nachos.
Demon's voice: No!
Must pull switch!
Johnny's voice:
Must eat nachos.
Demon's voice:
No! Evil!
Johnny's voice:
I've failed!
I'm a big, fat loser!
I don't get it.
Can't you just
throw the switch
Of course i can do it.
That's not the point.
I'm supposed to
make him do it.
That's what
makes it evil!
Oh, i hate you people.
Johnny, your
soul is safe.
Thank goodness
we arrived
in time.
Give me a nacho.
Don't touch.
Oh, triple poopy.
And these are
the prehistoric tar pits
Where dinosaurs became trapped
while looking for food
And sank
to an oozy death.
I suppose when your brain's
the size of a cashew,
You're too stupid
to avoid walking
Into a lake
of sticky,
disgusting tar.
This way,
You call this bug spray?
It doesn't do a thing.
That's not
bug spray, johnny.
That's meat tenderizer.
Aw, this trip stinks.
I thought you said
we were going to see
some major babes.
I didn't say
"major babes," johnny.
I said
majoris babium.
It's a rare species
of plankton.
What?! Give me
that oar!
We're going home.
Oh, no, we're not.
Give me, i said.
No, johnny!
Give me that oar.
No, you row.
You row.
I said you row!
[both inhale]
Oh, johnny,
i was so scared!
Oh, look out.
Good thing i landed
in the water.
Ha! Hyah! Huh!
Guess carl didn't make it.
I'll miss
the little feller.
Well, can't mourn
Wonder if there's
a burger joint around here.
[woman singing]
Come on, rudolph.
Fetch the stick, boy.
Here you go, boy.
Now go get it.
Hey there, little
forest betty.
Hyah! Huh!
For you, my luscious
little wood nymph.
How's about letting me
be your studly oak?
Is that a yes?
[bicycle bell dings]
foreign language]
Wake him.
Sarsaparilla and fresh horses
for all my men.
Man: So,
yellow giant,
Daughter say
you give her
This mean
you propose
What say you,
with long head?
It's just that i
Well, i
Thinking: HmmMarriage.
[tarzan yell]
Rootsy, i'm home!
[audience cheering]
Hi, honey.
I missed you.
How was everything
at the plant?
[audience laughs]
It's growing on me.
[giggles softly]
Say, how's
little sticky?
Oh, he's been sleeping
like a log all day.
Dinner's ready.
I made
your favorite.
Oh, boya!
[starts engine]
Aw, what the hey?
Let's get hitched.
[playing bridal march]
If anyone
To the union
of this couple,
Let him
speak now.
Carl: I object!
[tarzan yell]
I've got you,
Let go, carl.
Nice going, monkey boy.
Don't move, johnny.
It's quicksand.
The more you struggle,
the faster you sink.
Or it might be
a very shallow mud puddle.
You have angered
our gods
And must be
Is that
going to hurt?
Take them to
the man-eating plant!
foreign language]
Well, how was i
supposed to know
you liked her?
Hot babe
with a treehouse.
What's not to like?
Look, johnny!
It's a rare
muselim horrendi.
A truly magnificent
specimen, too.
You ain't gonna
keep talking
After we're dead,
are you?
Hey, come on.
You can eat me,
But don't mess up
my hair, man.
Cut it out
with the hair.
We're saved!
I guess i was
too pretty to eat.
Or it may have been
the dairy creamers
in my fanny pack.
Muselim horrendi
are extremely
lactose intolerant.
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
and u.S. Department of education
Captioned by the national
Previous EpisodeNext Episode