Johnny Bravo (1997) s03e02 Episode Script

1
1, 2, 3!
Baby.
Sassy!
Man, i'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me!
Come on!
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group and
u.S. Department of education
It's no good,
chimp lord!
Biff proton would
never fall for
The old ray gun
in the banana trick.
Oh, no! How's biff going
to get out of this one?
[tv shuts off]
What the--
Aah!
Hi, johnny!
Guess what.
Guess what.
Give it to me.
Guess what.
Guess what.
Come on! Mute!
Mute!
The new line of
mrs. Kensington
Doll accessories
comes out today.
Will you take me
to the toy store?
Please, please,
please, please.
How about we go to
the post office
And i airmail
you to borneo?
You're right,
johnny.
Toy stores are stupid.
Who'd want to go there?
Nice try,
little girl.
But i'm too smart
to fall for
The old reverse
psychology routine.
That's right,
you'd never fall
For the old reverse
psychology routine.
Oh, wouldn't i?
Well, we'll just
see about that.
Come on, missy, we're
going to the toy store.
No, we're not.
Quiet!
How did i get here?
Look! It's mid-life crisis
mrs. Kensington
With hot flashing action.
Oh
I'm out of here.
There's nothing worse than
a store full of whining babies
And their stupid toys.
Biff proton
virtual reality game!
Oh, give me, give me,
give me, give me!
"caution. This game is so real,
players may confuse fantasy
with reality."
I think we all know
that's not going to happen.
Whoa! I'm in space.
How did i get here? Oh!
It's lord morlock's
hidden fortress of snippiness.
Just like on tv.
Maybe there'll be pizza.
Let's see, biff always uses
His plasma-powered karate chops
in these situations.
Freaky!
Hi-yaa!
Hi-yee!
Sir, what are
you doing?
Aha! Targon tracks!
They always march
in single file to
hide their numbers.
Sir, i'm going to have
to ask you to leave.
Huh?
Lord morlock!
I thought i smelled
your foul stench.
I've been waiting
for you, biff.
When we last met,
i had a learner's permit.
Now i do the driving.
Aah!
Oh, yeah? Come at me, then,
mouth-breathing evil guy.
I'll warn you,
morlock.
My skills with
a light saber are
keen and deadly.
Cool special
effects, huh?
Give up, you
bucket-headed weenie.
I give up.
I give up!
Liar! Targon commanders
never give up.
Now give me back
the game.
I did not destroy
your second cousin, biff.
I am your
second cousin.
No-o-o-o-o!
Ha ha ha!
Aah!
The stupidity is strong
in that one.
Whoa!
Ow. Power cells low.
Must escape.
Ah, my fusion-powered surfboard.
With alien valet parking.
Wanks,
here's a nickel.
Biff proton, away!
Hey!
That goofy guy stole
my wagon.
What's this world
coming to?
Huh? Targellian
stink bits.
Your odor is lemon.
Get away, you stink bomb.
Hey, watch it!
You're going to take
someone's eye out.
A black hole.
Maybe i can lose them.
To space and then some!
Aah!
Aah!
It might be time to visit
The planet of vitally needed
medical services.
Help me,
biff proton.
You're my only hope.
It's biff's girlfriend,
princess sandy.
Help me, biff.
Help me, biff.
Help me, biff.
Help me, biff.
You're my only hope.
Don't worry, sandy.
I'll save you.
I don't know, pops.
Aren't otters an
endangered species?
Relax, it's delicious!
Tastes just like
bald eagle.
Eh, i mean, chicken.
Emperor ping!
I might have suspected.
Unhand the princess!
What the heck's
wrong with johnny?
He's got a biff proton
virtual reality visor.
He sees you as
the evil emperor ping
And me as
the beautiful imprisoned
princess sandy!
Get that stupid thing
off him
Before he makes
a fool of himself.
I want to play,
i want to play!
Save me, biff,
save me.
All right, ping,
you asked for it.
Prepare for my plasma-powered
karate chop of justice.
Hi-yaa!
Oh, biff,
you're injured.
I know, sandy,
but it was worth it
To try and save you.
Rest easy,
my handsome warrior.
We'll be together
now forever.
Forever, forever
Johnny, johnnyJohnny!
Are you ok, johnny?
Aah!
Man, carl, i may
never stop bathing.
Huh! I guess his battery pack
must have run out.
Here, let me
recharge him.
This is getting
pretty entertaining.
Freeze, wagon thief!
You'd better come
with us, son.
Aah! Destroyer cyborgs!
Stand back!
I'll tackle them.
I have seen the future,
and it hurts.
Dang! Dadgumit!
Aw, stupid one-armed
son of a skunk.
Hey, jukebox.
Huh? I didn't do it!
She did it!
Ask anyone!
Mama, can i have
some more money
for the jukebox?
Quiet, johnny.
I'm about to buy us
A one-way ticket
to easy street.
Your play, fat man.
That's fatman.
Colonel beauregard fatman.
I see your 50
and raise you 500 more.
Oh, dear,
i'm afraid
I've run out of
things to bet.
Mama, walk away!
Remember what
happened at
the dog track.
I call!
Mama, you can't
bet me.
I'm your own son.
Don't worry,
johnny.
With this hand,
i can't lose!
Read 'em and weep,
fat man!
A pair of 3's.
ImpressiveBut i'm afraid
i have 5 kings.
What! Oh,
this is poker.
Sorry, darling,
mama will miss you.
Akhbar! Grab the boy
and start fueling the plane.
Young man, you are now
the property
Of colonel beauregard fatman.
Whoa! Mama,
do something!
Don't worry,
sweetie.
Mama won't rest
until you're back
safe at home.
Oh, free buffet.
Welcome to my little
island paradise, johnny.
You're probably
wondering
Why i brought
you here, yes?
Not really.
Are you frightened?
Got any snacks?
Tell me, johnny,
do you enjoy games?
Uh, maybe.
I find there's nothing
like a good challenge
To get the blood up.
Intellect versus intellect.
Cunning versus cunning.
Is this going
somewhere?
Yes, johnny, we're going
to play a little game
Of hide-and-seek.
You're kind of weird,
aren't you?
Yes, but i'm also fair.
You will be supplied
with enough provisions
to last 24 hours.
Although, i doubt you can
evade me for that long.
Hmm, can i have
a biscuit to sop
this up?
Converting your
food shares into fat
So you can travel
light--ingenious.
Yeah, whatever.
Hey, by the way,
What's that empty plaque
on your wall for?
That! That is the one prize
that has eluded me all my life.
But that will change
soon enough.
Ha ha ha!
Suddenly,
it all makes sense.
But you'll never
catch me, you fiend!
The stench of life
is too sweet.
I will survive!
Freedom!
And so, johnny bravo,
Our little game of
hide-and-seek begins.
Click, click.
No fair, you peeked!
I get a do over.
Johnny, may i make
a suggestion?
Perhaps the dense
jungle forest
Might afford you
better concealment.
You know, you have
a lovely speaking voice.
I don't get it.
Why would someone want
to hunt me for sport
And put my head
on the wall?
Whoa! Oh, that's right.
I'm pretty.
I've made
a horrible miscalculation.
I've worn the green sock
with my argyle.
And i've been leaving
a trail of footprints.
Wait, i have an idea.
Huh! Hah!
Am i smart or what?
Hey, you're pretty quick
for a tubby guy.
I was hoping you would
be a more challenging
prey, johnny.
Fleeing through
the jungle clearly
isn't your strong suit.
Perhaps if you tried
camouflage--
No, thanks.
I don't use cologne.
No, i mean
disguising yourself
To blend in with your
natural surroundings.
I don't think so.
Karate!
Ok, we'll do it
your way.
Johnny: Hey,
i'm camouflaged!
Excellent! Now the game
begins in earnest.
Careful, johnny.
Remain perfectly still.
I went that-a-way!
Oh! Look, let me
make this easier.
Here is a map of ingenious
hiding places on the island.
Just pick one.
I won't look!
Hmm, this waterfall
might be a good place.
No, no, don't tell me!
Look, just go to
the other end of the island.
I'd never think
of looking for you there.
Or would you?
Just go.
I shall count down
from 100.
100, 99, 98
3, 2, 1.
Aah! That's it!
I've had just about
enough!
No! Don't do it!
I want to live!
What are you
talking about?
I'm just giving you
a plane ticket off
the island.
Really? You mean you're
not going to knock my head
On the empty space
on your wall?
Aah! Heaven's no.
That space is
reserved
For the best-in-show
prize for my cat,
mr. Pippins.
Johnny!
Mama!
Well, i did some research,
And it turns out
there are only 4 kings
in a poker deck.
Oh, very astute
of you.
My apologies, madam.
I find that cheating
lends zest to most games
of chance.
Nice try, lard butt.
[fighting]
Fatman: Oh, dear!
Help me! Aah!
Sweetheart, can you ever
forgive me for wagering you?
Sure, mama.
Besides, i think we've
all learned a valuable
lesson here today.
Johnny! I need you
to take out the garbage!
Shh! She'll
never find me.
Narrator: What happens
when an idiot meets his echo?
I'm pretty.
Echo: I'm pretty.
I'm prettier!
Echo: I'm prettier!
No, i'm prettier.
Echo: No,
i'm prettier.
I am!
Echo: I am!
You're dumb.
Echo: You're dumb!
I know you are,
but what am i?
Echo: I know you are,
but what am i?
Oh, he's good.
Johnny: "ha ha! Man bean!
This misobroth will stop you!
"you forget, crimson legume
"frothy marinades
only make me stronger!
Curse you, man bean!"
La la la!
Hi, johnny!
Aah!
Oh, oh! You got
the latest issue of man bean,
The bean that
walks like a man.
He's my favorite
vegetable-based superhero.
Can i read it
after you?
I--i--i wasn't
reading it.
I was just looking
at the pictures
And following along
with the words
a little bit.
Besides, comic books
are for geeky,
Thin-wristed little
dweebs like you.
Oh, yeah,
mr. Smarty pants?
Then how come
a mint condition
first issue of man bean,
The bean that
walks like a man,
Sells for thousands
and thousands
And thousands
of dollars?
Maybe that's because
squeaky voice
Little sea monkeys
like you are--
Did you say
thousands?
Excuse me.
Man bean away!
Mama always told me
to stay out of the attic
Because of the menacing presence
that lurks here.
She never lets me do
anything.
[wind blows]
Ghostly voice:
Get out!
Hmm, must be squirrels.
Aha!
If i can just find that comic,
i'll be rich.
I know it's in here
someplace.
Yes, man bean number one
"the scent of bean curd."
With the money i'll make
from this comic,
I can buy a worm colony
and some more comics.
Hey, my comic.
[organ plays]
That's eerie.
Scary.
Terrifying!
But it's got a nice beat.
Oh! Ooh! Whoa!
Ghostly voice: Get out!
Get out! Get out!
It's almost as if someone's
trying to tell me something.
Whoa!
Johnny, i saw
the whole thing.
You have a ghost
in your attic!
Don't be
a stupid baby.
There's no such
thing as ghosts.
Carl, i got a ghost
in my attic!
Help me!
Help me, please.
Don't worry, johnny.
I've been preparing
for this day for a long time.
I don't remember
the costumes in the movie
Being quite so,
um, colorful.
Everything in this
uniform is designed
To precise
ghost capturing
specifications.
Besides, this is
the only one of
my mom's dresses
She let me cut up
to make costumes.
Now, here's
the plan.
You flush the ghost out
while i wait down here
To blast him with
my particle beam.
Blah, blah, blah.
I'm going up there
and show that ghost
who's boss.
Be careful!
All right, ghost, huh!
I don't like you,
and you don't like me.
So let's settle this
once and for all.
Ghost: Aah!
Of course, i could learn
to like you.
Johnny: Ooh! Aah! Hey!
Sounds like everything's
going according to plan.
Good work, johnny!
Keep him busy while
i charge my particle beam.
Ooh! Aah! Oh! Carl!
About 20 more seconds.
Shouldn't be long now.
Forget this! I'm gonna
blast him myself.
Ok, johnny,
stand aside.
Ok, crossing the beams
is a bad idea.
Well, did we
at least get him?
Ghostly voice:
Ha ha ha!
Johnny! Oh, johnny, what did you
do to my living room?
I didn't do it!
I didn't do it!
Ghostly voice: Ha ha ha!
A poltergeist!
Oh, i knew this day would come.
Boys, you have to be nice
to the denizens of
the spirit world.
Don't worry. Mom will take care
of everything.
Hear me, o spirit,
show yourself.
That's right,
you yellow-bellied
little ectoplasmic dweeb.
Quiet, johnny.
Ooh! Hello, bonnie.
Lou! Oh, i thought
it might be you.
Johnny, say hello to
your uncle lou.
He rented the attic apartment
from me back in
the seventies.
Well, make him give me
back my comic book.
It's worth thousands.
Sure, johnny,
you can have it back.
Not quick enough!
Give it back,
you old coot!
No way! It's mine now.
What, just because
i'm a ghost i can't
have nice things?
I've had enough
of this.
Aah!
Give me that comic!
Johnny! Louis!
Break it up!
You're acting like
a couple of hooligans.
Lou, it's time for you
to give up worldly things.
Walk toward the light,
sweetie.
I guess you're right,
bonnie.
It's time i moved on
to a higher plane.
But i'm taking
the comic!
Hey!
No!
Johnny!
Mrs. Bravo,
johnny's disappeared
Into that
ectoplasmic portal.
If we don't get him
back soon,
He might be stuck
in there forever.
Hold on tight, carl.
I'm going
in after him.
Bonnie: Johnny, sweetie!
Johnny: Mama? Mama? Mama?
Where are you?
I'm here.
Here! Here!
Oh, there you are.
I want to go home,
home, home.
Stop talking like that.
It's creepy.
Oh, sorry.
Take my hand, darling.
Mama!
I've got you, darling.
Carl, pull!
[straining]
You did it, mrs. Bravo.
You brought johnny back
from the afterworld.
Huh?
Who are you?
I'm marie antoinette.
You wouldn't happen
to have an aspirin?
[gasp]
Then where's johnny?
[laughter]
Hey, can i read
one of them comics
when you're done?
No!
Sheesh! Who knew ghosts
were so touchy?
Look out.
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
And u.S. Department of education
Captioned by the national
Whoa, mama!
A babe! Mercy.
Whatever.