Johnny Bravo (1997) s03e12 Episode Script

1
One, two, 3--huh!
Baby!
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
And u.S. Department of education
Sassy!
Man, i'm pretty.
Hoo! Hah! Huh!
Do the monkey with me!
Come on!
Hey there, baby.
Yeah, whatever.
Boy: My book report is on
the little engine that could,
Which is a really awesome book
about a little engine
That gets attacked by ninjas,
but morphs into a snowmobile,
And his robot friends
come to help him,
Then they blow up
the death star.
The end.
Teacher: Very good, raymond.
I'm impressed.
Miss winkleman,
that's not how
the story goes.
Raymond's compromising
the literary integrity
of the book.
Really? Well, suzy,
since you know so much
about literary[mumbles]
Why don't you help raymond
do a new book report.
[romantic sigh]
Um, i didn't mean
that i-i would
Oh, miss winkleman,
that would be like
some wonderful dream.
Well, it's settled then.
[bell ringing]
Suzy, when we get married,
do you want to have children?
Because i would rather
have monkeys.
We're not getting
married, raymond.
I'm just helping you
with your book report.
You smell like cream soda.
Uh, i know
a book you could
do your report on.
Mrs. Dewey,
do you have a copy of
harold and the fuzzy bunny?
Oh, no, dear.
I'm sorry.
"the man" came by
and banned that book.
Nooooo!
Did he say why?
Oh, something about
its being dangerous
for young minds.
Oh, this is terrible!
The freedom to read
what want is
The cornerstone
of our democracy.
I've got to do something!
That's right, suzy!
Fight the power!
Stick it to the man!
No shirt, no shoes,
no freedom!
Sourball?
[bell ringing]
What to join my campaign
To fight the senseless
repression in our library?
Get lost!
I baked brownies.
Awesome.
Suzy: Want to join
my campaign
To fight the senseless
repression in our library?
Books good!
Fire bad!
Books good!
Fire bad!
I like pie!
I like pie!
[horn honking]
Who's that man,
mrs. Dewey?
Oh, dear, that's
the horse's patooty
Who came and took
the books away.
Hello, children.
Why did you ban
harold and the fuzzy bunny?
Ban is such
a strong word.
I prefer to think
that i
Protected your fragile
little minds.
But bunnies are
soft and cuddly
And have lots to teach us
about sharing and togetherness
And the dangers
of overpopulation.
Harold and
the fuzzy bunny
depicts a world
Where humans and bunnies
frolic shamelessly
In meadows
and at picnics
And even on the moon!
It's that kind of fantasy
hoo-ha that leads to
Dancing, card-playing,
and the eating of tofu.
Well, i like
that fantasy hoo-ha,
And so do my friends.
Kids: Yeah!
Now, now,
calm down, children.
I've brought plenty
of wholesome books
For all of you
to enjoy.
Klaus!
Kids: Yay!
"not-so-curious eddy?"
"fun with carpet lint."
"formica: A short history?"
These books stink.
Don't you understand that
children must be challenged
So that they don't
grow up to be cartoon-like
cookie-cutter stereotypes?
Yeah!
Hey!
Suzy: So, what do you have
to say for yourself?
UhLook! Matt damon!
Where? Where?
[tires screeching]
I'm tired of playing games.
I'm taking this fight
to the highest authority
in the land.
Welcome to spit-take live.
I'm barry krelman,
and we're talking to suzy.
Tell us about
the rabbits, suzy.
Well, they're not
rabbits exactly.
It's a fuzzy bunny
and his friend harold
Fascinating.
Caller, are you there?
Johnny, on telephone:
Yeah, i'd like a large pizza
with pepperoni and extra crust.
Johnny?
Johnny: Little neighbor girl?
What are you doing
at spanky's pizza?
Caller, do you have
a question?
Johnny: Yeah, could
i get a free soda with that?
Johnny, please,
you're eating up
my time!
As i was saying
Sorry. We're out of time.
One final question.
Can i fix you up
with my nephew?
Noooo!
Sorry, barry,
freedom of speech
is my boyfriend.
We'll be right back
with the nun-chuck chicks.
Phew!
[sighs]
It's no use.
Mr. Blowhard doesn't care
what kids think,
And everybody listens to him
more than me.
Don't be sad, suzy.
Maybe mr. Blowhard
didn't have any friends
when he was a kid,
And people said
that he smelled,
And he was in love
with a beautiful girl
Who didn't know he existed.
AndAh, but you don't
want to hear my story.
Hear my story?
That's it!
[crash]
I think heaven is
missing an angel.
Tell rupert the merger's off!
Now tell him it's on!
Now fire jameson!
Then rehire him at
twice his salary!
HmmI could use
a stick of butter.
"once upon a time,
there was a fuzzy bunny"
Aaaah!
Drive, klaus!
"he lived
in mrs. Fiddlehead's
carrot patch
At the end of
dimbly doo lane"
Aaaah!
[panting]
Your table
is ready, sir.
"fuzzy bunny had
lots of friends
And loved to play
all day long"
Aaaah!
[phew]
[siren blaring]
"but sometimes
fuzzy bunny was sad,
For you see,
fuzzy bunny didn't
have a mommy."
Oh, curse you,
you meddling, obnoxious,
irritating little--
Fuzzy bunny didn't
have a mommy?
"And the fuzzy bunny
was never sad again."
[sobbing]
That's the most wonderful
story i've ever heard.
So, will you stop your
crusade of censorship
and repression?
And admit i'm wrong? Never!
Then i guess
i'll have to
Release these pictures
i found on the internet!
[stammering]
Thank you for saving
democracy, suzy.
No problem, mrs. Dewey.
I'm just glad that
my friends can read
great literature again.
Pop-upy.
Johnny: Hey, i didn't know
there were bell peppers in
the oriental chicken salad,
And i certainly didn't
know about
The underground volcano complex.
Now i must defeat you!
Karate! Hoo! Haa!
Whoa!
Oh! Softy linty death!
Evil poly-cotton blend!
Johnny!
Stop messing around!
Sorry, master hama.
I was practicing
my pinky jab of terror.
Why don't you practice
doing your stupid job
before i fire you!
Go towel off jimmy.
He's all sweaty.
Ok, do i get a new
belt color for that?
Ho! Ha! Huh! Hiyah!
Gently, you fool!
I'll get cotton burn!
You know that powerful
surprise blow that won
that last match?
I would have done
that differently.
You mean this one?
Yaah!
Yeah, i would have
done that differently.
Johnny, stop
bothering students!
Go eat lunch or something.
But, master hama,
i've got to uphold
the honor of
Ooh, lunch!
[sniffing loudly]
All right!
Peanut butter!
Huh! Hah!
Mmm
So, hama, we meet again.
Oh, hello, pantene claw.
We missed you at
karatecon this year.
We went to tampa.
We dropped many
water balloons.
Big fun! Big! Ha! Ha!
Oh, well, some of us
have a life, you know.
Huh? Oh, i will not
long endure your scorn,
you yin yang yutz!
Someday soon vengeance
will be mine.
You got some soy sauce
on your shirt.
Oh, thank you--aah!
Curse you, hama!
MmmI love
the creamy kind.
The chunky's good,
but the nuts get
stuck in my teeth
And make me slur
my consonants.
[chattering]
Hey! Back off, buddy!
This is johnny's sandwich.
Oh, you want a piece of me?
Well, you better cancel
christmas, chipmunk!
Oh! Aaah! Aah! Whoo!
What an idiot.
Oh! Running away, huh?
I want a rematch!
Very impressive,
young master.
What do you call
that karate style?
Uh, i don't know.
Chipmunk style, i guess.
You must teach me
this chipmunk style
So that my dojo
can make bean paste
out of hama's dojo.
Uh, look, my mama
told me not to speak
to strangers.
Join me, johnny,
and together we'll sweep
the tri-state regionals!
Sure. Why don't you call me
about that at the office?
Seize him!
[struggling]
You fiend!
You'll never get
away with this!
You have insulted
the honor of my dojo!
Master hama! Kids! To me!
Ooh!
Ok, who wants hot dogs?
Kids: Yay!
Welcome to
my secret lair.
Do you like what
i've done with the kitchen?
Aah! Don't walk
on the carpet!
I just had it
dry-cleaned!
What do you want, villain?
I want the secret to
your chipmunk technique.
I know you're loyal
to hama,
But i can offer
you wealth, power
Good references!
Do you have
a talking monkey?
UhYes.
I'm in.
Excellent.
Observe carefully.
Hoo! Hah! Hah! Huh!
Hoo! Hah! Huh!
Hah! Hoo! Huh!
Aww
[hitting and groaning]
Did i get him?
So, you mock me?
Lock him in my rec
room until he becomes
more cooperative!
I warn you
Master hama will rescue me,
And his vengeance will
be swift and terrible!
Trapped!
Imprisoned in
the pantene claw's rec room!
Possibly for the rest
of my life!
Hey! Pinball!
Woman: Hello, johnny.
I am the pantene claw's
daughter ting.
I hate what my father
has done to you.
I wish to free you.
First, why don't
i show you
How i got my eighth
degree love belt.
Hiyah!
Or you could just free me.
Ok, johnny,
but will you show me
your chipmunk technique
So that i may combat
my father's evil.
Ok, but better
make it quick.
Master hama will be
coming to rescue me,
And woe be unto my enemies
at that particular time.
Ok, i got the peanut
butter on me.
Now to find an oak tree
with a chipmunk in it.
Here chippy, chippy,
chippy, chippy.
Here, chippy,
chippy, chippy.
Note to self.
Don't do that again.
What a jerk.
Dad! This is totally
not working out at all.
I have lost patience
with you.
You will show me
your chipmunk style,
Or i will karate
you silly!
Gloat while
you can, villain.
Master hama is even now
flying like the wind
To come and save me.
Rats! Out of skim milk.
Better run to the store.
Talk! Talk!
Ooh! Ooh! Never!
[humming chinese tune]
It's master hama!
I'm saved!
Hello, johnny!
How are you doing,
pantene claw?
Talk! Talk, i said!
Chippy! I must be swift
like the wind!
Haaa!
Yes! Victory is mine!
Thanks, chippy.
[chattering]
So, i beat up your dad.
Want to go out?
Hiyah!
Great! So, i'll pick
you up around 8:00.
Hey, kid, can
i borrow your shovel?
Here's your i.D. Bracelet.
Here's a compass
in case you get lost.
Mama, i'm just going
next door to borrow
a cup of sugar.
Mrs. Krelman?
Open up!
It's me! Johnny!
[thunder]
Ah, i love kite-flying.
And this highly conductive
copper wire makes
the perfect string.
Curse you, ben franklin!
You knew this would happen!
Hey! My kite!
Mama paid almost
$4 for it!
[howling]
Oh, man, whoever
owns that dump is
a big, fat sky hog.
These people think
they can just move in,
build scary castles,
And take over
the neighborhood.
It lives!
It lives!
[ding]
I don't know, boss.
I'd give it another
two minutes.
[loud knock on door]
Hey, buddy.
I told you you're not
getting a tip!
You keep throwing
the paper in the moat,
And then i can't read
the funnies!
Oh, man, i came
to get my kite back.
Oh, your kite.
I see, yes.
If you'll just step
right over here,
I'll see
what i can
Stop, igor! That's no way
to treat a guest!
With such a huge finely
developed cranium.
You're some kind of
weirdo, aren't you?
Welcome to my home,
young man.
I'm dr. Frankenstei--
uhJones.
Oh, you're a doctor.
Well, it's like this,
dr. Frankenstei--jones.
After i eat,
i experience a sudden
loss of appetite
Sometimes for hours!
And then every night,
i lose consciousness
until the next morning!
And sometimes my mind wanders,
and i lose my train--
Hey! Burrito!
You going to eat that?
Don't touch that!
That's my lunch!
Hey look!
Sciency stuff!
Ha! Ha! Levery!
No! You fool!
Look at me!
I'm inventing the cotton gin!
Hoo! Hah! Huh!
Aah!
[gasps]
Aah! Man!
This thing's hot!
Whoa, mama!
Behold, my friends!
The perfect woman!
Kissed with the spark
of life and
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hey there, tall, gray,
and reanimated.
How'd you like me
to alternate your current?
[hissing]
Whoa! Graveyard breath!
Do you like her, johnny?
You know, i could
fix you up with her.
All i have to do is
remove your brain,
Stick two bolts
in your neck,
And run 3,000 volts
of electricity through you.
So, let me get
this straight.
I get to go out with her,
but you're going to
remove my brain?
That's right.
Hmm
You know i--hmm
I'll do it!
Did you hear that,
My little gauze-wrapped
gladiola.
One date with johnny,
And you know your body
temperature will go up to 4.
[hissing]
Ah, young love.
Oh, carrying me over
the threshold, huh?
Naa!
Whoa! She has the strength
of 10 women.
She is 10 women.
Hey, baby--ooh!
If we're going
to go out--oh!
Can i get a warranty
on the parts?
Oh, no!
She's getting away!
Rev up the brain-removing
machine.
I'll be right back.
Good luck, son.
Wait! Come back,
my embalmed little
peach blossom!
I shall not rest
until i find her,
Even if it takes me
to the end of time.
I shall not sleep
until my true love--
Hey! Pop's diner!
Who's there?
I can't see you,
stranger.
I've just had
laser eye surgery.
[muffled speaking]
Poor, inarticulate brute.
Come, and share
my simple meal with me.
[sizzling]
Aaah!
No! No! Fire good.
Come on, stranger.
Let's go to the freezer
to get you some ice.
Aaah!
Sweetie!
Come back!
I know i'm alive,
but i can change! Honest!
Friend! Friend!
AhPoopy.
Wait up, my little
flatlining fleur-de-lis!
Hey, everybody!
Johnny's formed
an angry mob!
Let's join in!
[crowd cheering]
[hissing]
[panting]
Back! Back, you animals!
I'll handle this.
Look, babe.
I know you want me.
[hissing]
And by "hiss"
i guess you mean,
"johnny i love you.
Be with me forever
and ever and ever."
[hissing]
[gasps]
Oh, no! Johnny's gone!
So, who wants cookies?
Honey, i'm home.
You're late again!
Why do i put up
with you?
I don't even know why
the doctor bothered to
sew you back together!
All right, all right,
keep your stitches on.
Bride: I slave all day
around this dump,
And you just saunter in
and plop yourself down
in front of the tv!
Well, what about me?
What about my needs?
Everything is
you, you, you!
They always start out nice
when you marry them,
But afterwards, they turn
into real monsters.
Oh, and where's your
paycheck this week? Huh?
Look out.
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
And u.S. Department of education
Oh!
Captioned by the national
--Www.Ncicap.Org--
Whoa mama!
A babe!
Mercy.
Whatever.