Johnny Bravo (1997) s04e04 Episode Script

Home Alone

- 1, 2, 3, huh!
Ooh. Check the pecs. Huh ha huh!
Man, i'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Come on.
Hey there, baby.
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
Yeah, whatever.
- A papoose?
- A papoose, moose, and goose!
- A papoose, moose, and goose?
- Johnny, i'm about to leave
for my exotic, tropical cruise
To the jersey shore.
- OneShoot!
- Now, there's plenty of food
in the refrigerator
And a fresh pair
of jammies on your bed.
- OneShoot!
- I left a list of emergency
numbers by the phone
And a new teddy by the dresser
In case your
night terrors act up.
- One
- Are you even paying
attention, johnny?
- Yeah. Sure.
You going somewhere?
- Oh, i wish i'd have
gotten you a babysitter.
- Mama, watch what you
wish for, will you?
- Johnny, i worked really hard
To be randomly selected
to win this vacation,
And i don't want
to spend the whole time
Worrying about you.
- Worrying?
- Well, this is your first
big time home all alone,
And you know, i mean,
sometimes you're a bit helpless
AndAccident-prone, huh?
- Oh, that's crazy talk, mama.
I haven't had an accident in
3 days.
I'll be fine.
- And if you forget
how to breathe,
It's inhale, then exhale.
- Got it.
- I'll be back in a week.
That's 7 days.
So, until then, you take care
of my favorite little boy.
That's you, johnny.
You're my favorite little boy.
- Right.
- Now, don't let me down,
Or i won't let you out of
my sight till you're 105.
- Don't fret, mama.
I'm gonna prove to you
What a good
stay-at-home-by-myselfer i am.
I promise!
Hello? Is anybody home?
That wasn't so bad. Ugh!
- Looking a little fluish?
- How did you get in here?
- A key. Mama gave me one.
She wanted me
to check up on you.
- Well, thanks, kid,
but i'm staying home alone.
That means there's just
the right amount of me
And one too many of you.
- Ok, but i'll be right
next door if you need anything.
Ugh oh!
If i just sit right here
until mama gets home,
Nothing will go wrong,
and she'll see how great i am
At being all grown up.
- Do you like food?
- Sure. Who doesn't like food?
- How about extreme food?
- Yeah!
- They're right. Food is good.
One johnny bravo
smooth operator smoothie
Coming right up.
[blender whirring]
Ok, blend.
[whirring slowly]
So, you want to play tough, huh?
All right. Take ha!
Whip! Liquefy! Pulverize!
Crush! Rhumba!
Shimmy shimmy shake!
[whirring stops]
Hmm. Need more power.
Tornado! That's it!
Get ready to twist, pal.
Johnny bravo, one;
mr. Blender man, zero.
[whirring in spurts]
Whoa! Whoa! Ooh!
- Hi, johnny!
Need a hand?
- I'm doing fine, thanks.
- Great, then. See you later.
- Whoa!
[telephone ringing]
You've reached the bravos;
Home of the one
and only johnny bravo.
Ha! No need to leave a message.
You can talk to me right now.
- Hi, johnny.
- Oh, hey, mama. What's up?
- Oh, just checking in
on my big guy.
How's everything going?
- Oh, mama, this staying at home
alone stuff is a breeze.
- Bingo!
- Bingo?
- B-a-n-g-o,
and bango is my name-o.
- Bingo. She said bingo.
- But does it make
the joke less funny?
I think not.
Ha cha cha cha cha.
- Right.
If i just sit right here
until mama gets home,
Nothing will go wrong--
Hey, home-wrecker.
What's the big idea?
- Hey, this isn't
1720 cambridge street.
I am so sorry.
I swear. This, like,
never happens.
- Please sign here.
- Uh, sure. Thanks.
What's this for, anyways?
- Mud delivery.
[faint beeping]
- Mud delivery?
But i didn't order any--ooh!
Oh, man.
- [gasps]
What are the chances?
- So, what do you say we spruce
the place up a little bit?
- Don't you have some corny,
dolly, tea party,
Frilly time thingy to go to?
- Oh, yeah! But i'm sure
they'll understand
If i'm a few minutes late.
- Beat it!
[phone ringing]
- You've reached the bravos;
Home of the one and only
johnny bravo. Heh!
No need to leave a message.
You can talk to me right now.
- Hey, johnny!
- Hey. Do i know you?
- This is johnny, right?
- Yeah. This is johnny.
- Johnny bravado?
- Johnny bravo.
- Johnny bravo?
- That's right. Johnny bravo.
- But i'm trying to reach
johnny bravado.
- I'm johnny brav-o!
- I guess i have
the wrong number.
- I guess you do.
Oh, mama.
Something smells fishy.
- You got that right.
- Ahoy, johnny.
Can i throw you a line?
- I've got it
- What are the chances?
- Wipeout.
- [quacking]
- This just in.
A criminal mastermind
is on the loose tonight,
And he has one thing
on his mind:
Your wardrobe.
- My wardrobe?
- That's right: Your wardrobe.
This apparel abductor--
- The garment gangster--
- This clotheshorse crook
will not stop
Until he is wearing you pants.
- My pants?
- Your pants, johnny,
So please, lock down your
dresser drawers, hampers,
And closets.
- No one's taking the bravo
family duds tonight.
Ah. Uh, ah.
I knew it was you.
- It's time for
sleepies, johnny.
How 'bout i read you
a bedtime story?
- How 'bout i read
you a bedtime story?
- Really?
- No.
- All righty, then.
Don't let the clotheshorse
crook bite.
- The clotheshorse crook?
- Technically, i'm a pony,
But let's keep that
between you and me.
Ha ha ha.
- Look here, mr. Trotty pants,
I can't let you take
my mama's clothes.
- Perhaps we could make
another arrangement.
[siren wailing]
Ooh. Gotta gallop.
The clotheshorse crook
strikes again
- Now, that's one
swanky-looking stallion.
- If i just sit right here
until mama gets home,
Nothing will go wrong.
[wind blowing]
[thunder rumbling]
[growling, hissing]
[bell dings]
So, mama, you have any idea
How to get
a grape juice stain out?
- Well, what happened?
Did you have a spill?
A big spill?
Should i come home?
- No! No, no, no.
It's--it's for aA friend.
Yeah, yeah. A friend.
- Well, tell your friend
To try scrubbing it
withFruit punch!
- Fruit punch?
- This place is great!
We should have our
convention here every year.
- I don't know.
- Oh, quit your whining.
- Who's "raisin" the roof?
He he.
- I'm really in a jam now.
- This isn't so bad.
I'll have it fixed up
in no time.
Just like new.
[doorbell ringing]
- Good morning.
Am i speaking to
the man of the house?
- You need a new set of eyes,
Or should i just
fix 'em for you?
- Mind if i ask you a question?
- Yes.
- Do you know what
homeowners reported
As the number one cause
of property damage
This past fiscal year?
- Yeah.
- You do?
- Fairy tale damage.
In the last decade,
Dragons, trolls,
irritable forest creatures,
And pining princes
and princesses
Have unleashed more
destruction on homeowners
Than all random acts
of mother nature combined.
- Great.
- No one can afford
to be unprotected.
That's why i'm happy
to offer you
A one-day only
super-special deal
On fairy tale insurance.
- Hey, pitch man,
i've been through a tornado,
A mudslide, a flood,
a horse thief,
And a bunch of other stuff.
I think i can handle
a few nursery rhymes.
- But, sir--
- Look, mister,
i got a fairy tale for you.
Once upon a time
Get lost!
And i live happily ever after.
Ha ha.
[doorbell ringing]
I thought i told you
- So sorry to bother you,
But would you mind if i use
your phone for a minute?
I'm a little late getting to
my sweet old grandma's house,
And i would just hate
for her to worry.
- Sure! No problemo!
- Thank you.
All right, guys!
- This chair's too small!
[farm animal sounds]
- HuffAnd a puff
Ha, ha
Lungs ain't what
they used to be.
- Aah!
- Aah!
- Beans. Beans.
Get your magic beans.
- Hey, horner, get your thumb
out of that pie.
Quit jumping over
that candlestick, jack.
- Is this where the party's at?
- Hey, ya, johnny.
Somebody drop this golden egg?
- Thank you.
- Quite a party.
- Yeah. Your invitation
must've got lost in the mail.
Why don't you go complain
to the post office or something?
[phone ringing]
You've reached the bravos;
Home of the one
and only johnny bravo.
Ha! No need--
- Johnny, it's me!
- There aren't any
fairy tale characters here
If that's what you're wondering.
- Ok.
Well, i have good news.
There's a funnel cake shortage
on the boardwalk,
So i'm cutting
my vacation short.
- How short?
- I'll be home in an hour!
Can't wait to see ya!
- Oh, man.
What am i gonna do now?
When mama sees this mess,
She's never gonna let me
stay home alone again.
If only i could find someone
to help me fix up the place.
Hey, little neighbor chick.
- Yes, johnny?
- UhI was wondering if, uh
Um, you know.
Hmm. How do i put this?
I need some
- What?
- HH.Uh.
- Come again?
- [wheezing]
- Are you trying to say "help"?
- A little bit.
- That's all i needed to hear.
Now, you do have fairy tale
insurance, right?
- WellUh
- Ok. Ok.
I'll just have to
call in a favor.
- It's a pretty big job,
But i think we can handle it.
- The 3 pigs! "the" 3 pigs?
Ooh. I am such a big fan.
- Enough chitchat.
Let's go to work.
- Hello? Anyone?
- Oh, no!
Rapunzel, let down your hair!
[horn honks]
- Johnny!
I'm so happy to be home.
- I missed you so much, mama!
[horse whinnies]
I never want to let you go!
- Oh, i missed you, too, johnny.
The house looks great!
And the walls are even more
delicious than i remember!
I am so, so proud of you.
You've really showed me
That you're finally
grown up enough
To be left on your own.
- Ha ha ha!
Oh, thanks, mama.
- Now, if you don't mind,
i'm gonna go freshen up.
- Hello? Somebody?
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
Captioned by the national
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