Johnny Bravo (1997) s04e05 Episode Script

1
- 1, 2, 3, huh!
Baby!
Sassy.
Studly.
Ooh. Check the pecs. Huh ha huh!
Man, i'm pretty.
Do the monkey with me.
Come on.
Hey there, baby.
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
Yeah, whatever.
- Oh, honey,
don't you just love
Volunteering at the nursery
And babysitting?
It's like checking out books
at the the library.
If you don't like it,
there's no commitment.
What could be better?
- Feelin' my hands.
- Now, johnny,
can't you just
Sit back and enjoy the sunshine?
- Hangin' with my mama
and a kid in the park
Ain't the same
as kickin' it at the beach
With a bunch of hot
bathing suit babes.
- Well, just use
your imagination.
- Ohhh, yeah.
If you want to view paradise,
simply look around and view it.
Come and get it,
beach bunnies!
- Dude! Nobody told me
there was a beach here.
Surf's up!
Maybe the ladies
want to see bravo in action.
Huh! Ha!
Maybe a little fun time, johnny?
- Oh, no!
Johnny, i forgot
the baby's teddy bumpkins.
- And your point is?
- I'll be back.
Just stay here
and watch the baby.
- Huh?
Watch it do what?
- [cooing]
- Ha ha ha! Baby.
So, i heard
you do tricks or somethin'.
Come on.
How 'bout roll over?
- [arf]
- Heel.
- [arf]
- Sit up.
- [arf]
- No, not spit up.
You know, you're not
very good at this.
- [crying]
- No, no, no, wait a second.
I didn't say cry.
What the--
get out of here, dog.
Can't you see i got
a cryin' baby here?
- [growling]
- D'oh!
Aw, man, come on, kid,
stop cryin', will ya?
Please stop cryin'.
- [cooing]
- There you go.
Now, let's try this again.
See, if you're hangin'
with johnny,
There's a few rules.
No spit-ups, no cryin',
and, uh, definitely no stinkies.
Got it?
And most important,
You gotta start
workin' it johnny style.
Now, look who's talkin'.
- Oh, my gosh,
what an adorable baby.
Is he yours?
- Well, of course he is.
He's got his daddy's eyes.
- And his smile!
- Well,
if you ever need any help
Or just someone
to meet in the park,
Call me.
- Uh, i saw them first.
- Not even.
- Totally.
- Nuh-uh.
- Bye-bye, baby.
- Bye, little munchkin-cakes.
- Hope to see you soon.
- How does 2:00 sound?
- Well, that was forward.
- A little brazen,
but i liked it.
- Ok.
- Ok.
- 2:00 it is.
- Give me 5, kid.
- Bleh.
- Uh, thanks.
I think.
Did you see that?
Those chicks were totally
Diggin' on our
baby-daddy action.
And if the ladies like
a little bravo baby,
They'll love
a lot of bravo baby.
Come on.
Nice.
That's one fresh-lookin' apple
from a fine, strappin' tree.
Huh!
Hold up, now, kid.
That action
ain't workin' for you.
We gotta smooth out your moves.
You see, kid,
you gotta strut your stuff.
Show those baby girls
what bravo men are made of.
go baby, go baby,
go, go, go, go baby
Now, shake it!
Follow my lead, kid.
shake, shake,
a-shake shake, shake it
a-don't break it
it took your mama
9 months to make it
- Oh, will you look at that?
- What a super-involved daddy.
- We'll set up a play date.
- Call me.
- Play date's at 2:00,
pretty mamas.
- Sweet, see you then.
- Now, kid, not to be mean,
But i've noticed
you're a little flabby,
A little squishy and wrinkly.
And i know
all the other kids are doin' it,
But my kid can do better.
Enough with the baby fat, baby.
If you're gonna be a bravo,
you've gotta have muscle.
So, here, lift this weight.
This?
Uh, how 'bout this?
That's it, kid,
feel the burn.
[toy squeaking]
Come on, baby, work it.
- That is so awesome.
- Baby and daddy workout.
I love it.
- Call me, and we'll do
a baby workout together.
- I'm great with babies.
- Then i'll see you buff babes
at, oh, let's say 2:00.
- You got it, daddy-o.
- Get ready
to work up a sweat.
- Kid, you know
how to work the magic.
Aw, this is great, kid.
We've got our play date
all lined up for 2:00
Complete with the sweet chicks,
buff babes, and hot mamas.
Huh, who knew a mini me
was all the babes
were pinin' for?
Hi, mama.
Hello, mama.
- Oh, johnny, there you are.
The baby's mom
is here to take him home.
- What?!
No, you can't take him now!
- Whoa, mama.
- Oh, johnny, who knew
you had such a thing for kids?
We gotta go.
Can you bring
all my baby stuff
home with you?
- Uh, yeah, mama,
i'll bring it allLater.
Hmm, needs a little somethin'.
I was savin' this lock of hair
for my biggest fan,
But what the hey.
Anything for the ladies.
[whistling]
Just in time.
- Yoo-hoo, johnny.
Is it time to play
with you and your sweetie?
- Why, yes,
but my baby is a-sleeping.
- Well, then,
do you need us all here?
- Like a doe needs a deer.
- And us?
- And us?
- What's the fuss?
- How about two mamas?
- Better than a pack of llamas.
[all]
- well, then, let's go.
- On with the show.
- Are you sure we can't
see your little pumpkin?
- Well, uh
- Are you crazy?
He's taking
his little nappy-nap.
You know you never
disturb nappy-nap.
- Yeah,
you never disturb nappy-nap.
- That's too bad,
'cause he's so cute.
- Just like his daddy.
- Those blonde locks.
- Those sweet moves.
- The sunglasses.
- The outfit.
- Come on, johnny,
can't we just take a peek?
- Yeah,
just a little peek-a-boo.
- Uh, um, baby bumpkins
will get cranky-wanky
If his nappy-wappy
isDisturby-wurbied.
- Just one look.
Johnny!
- What?
- The baby!
- Aw, forget about it.
That's no baby, it's--
- [gasp]
- The baby!
- [gasp]
- I can't find anything
on runaway babies
Or merry-go-round mishaps.
Who writes these things?!
- Make way!
Heroic deed in progress!
Well, hello, sweet and lovely.
- Uh, isn't that your baby?
[horns honking,
tires squealing]
- Oh, yeah.
[crash]
- Oh, great, a third eye.
- It's ok, bob.
I think
there's a cream for that.
- [gasp]
Yay!
- Oh, johnny.
- That was so awesome!
- You can look after
my child any time.
- You're just
the best daddy ever.
- How could you be so brave?
- We love you, johnny.
- Ladies, ladies,
Enough focus on johnny
And his truly amazing
amazingness.
'cause the real hero here is
This little fella.
- Oh, yeah, let's give it up
for the baby!
- What's that?
- Where's the baby?
- That's just
an empty bag of rice.
- What did you do to the baby?
- What kind
of lousy father are you?
- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
See, you got it all wrong.
I'm not the father.
- What?!
- Yeah, i'm just
a really cool guy
Who was baby-sittin' some kid
Until the real mom
took him back.
Then i used this sack of rice
To make you think
that i still had a baby.
Ha ha ha ha!
- Well, i
- Never.
- So, that makes it
all better, right?
- Grrrr
- Right?
- [screaming]
- Oh, please, oooh!
That one, right there.
Augh! Oh!
Mommy, johnny has a boo-boo.
- [whistles]
Hey, pretty lady.
How 'bout we make
like a pop song
And i fly you to the moon?
Heh!
- Buzz off, jerk,
Or i'll knock you
into next week.
- For you, baby,
i'm open all next week.
Ooommph!
How 'bout tuesday?
- Ha ha! Check it out.
I got an ultra-rare
grauvinian sand speeder
With realistic fire damage.
Only $175.
- Still in its original package?
- Well, no.
- Then you were had,
my druid friend.
Ha ha ha ha!
[high-pitched whistling]
Holy cracked control consoles!
- Whoa, dude.
Nice alliteration.
- An unidentified flying object,
and it's coming this--
- Whaaaaaaaaa!
- Ooomph!
- No way.
It's human.
- WhaWhat happened?
- What is
the last thing you remember,
O man from the sky?
- She said,
"i'll knock you into next week."
Toot-toot!
I think i can, i think i can.
- Well, that was random.
- I can only hypothesize
that this strange man
Has traveled here
from the past.
And from the guise of his garb
and the coif on his head,
I deduce that he is
from circa 1963.
- Oooh, the distant past.
- And you know what that means.
- Your eye is melting.
- No.
We have a grave responsibility.
We must keep him
from interacting with any human.
- Dude, seriously,
your eye is melting.
- Blazes!
- For once,
the melty-eyed one is right.
Any interaction with humans
from this ape man's future
Could change history.
- Not to mention
the space-time continuum.
- Yes. Yes.
We could be faced with the end
of the world as we know it.
- But i never found true love!
- Quiet, fool.
There's still time.
No one has noticed us yet.
We've got to
get him out of here
Before he fully regains
consciousness.
- And this little piggy
went whee, whee, whee
- I abhor violence, but
- Mmmm, popovers.
- [muttering indistinctly]
- Excellent.
The shuttle has arrived.
We'll take him
to command central.
- You mean--
- Yes, the rec room
at his mom's house.
- Hi, sandy, marvin, kenny.
- Mother unit, please don't
utter our human names.
- Ok, whatever.
My goodness, what on earth
did you buy this time?
- It's a full scaleModel.
- Hey, how'd i get
inside this bag?
- What in the world was that?
- Oh, it's a very sophisticated
fully animatronic model.
- Man, it's dark in here.
- Yeah, and it talks.
- Maybe i should stop
wearing my sunglasses at night.
- Yes, i seem to have
set the talking controls
on dazed and confused.
We'll be very busy,
uh, mother unit.
Make sure
that no one disturbs us.
- Okey-dokey.
I'll fix you boys
some sandwiches.
- Did someone say sandwiches?
Ugh! Pork chops and applesauce.
Buttermilk tolsom biscuits.
- He's bound to come out of
his stupor at any moment now.
The primitive one must not see
anything from after 1963.
- Quick,
were pool tables invented yet?
- I don't know.
I don't know.
- Hey, what is this?
A surprise party?
Aw, man, i didn't know
it was my birthday.
- Run a computer check on 1963.
I need historical data,
and i need it now.
- But we just shoved
all our computers in the closet.
- By thor's thundersticks,
i'm surrounded by nincompoops.
All right, then,
i'll improvise.
Observe.
Using a jedi mind trick,
I'll convince him
that it's 1963.
- Ok, if it's my birthday party,
who are you guys?
- We'reYour friends.
- Right.
So, where am i?
- Why,
you're in 1963, of course.
- Right.
- Right. Ha ha!
- It's certainly 1963.
- How come
you're wearin' a diaper?
- It's a turban, you fool.
Well, let's get
your birthday party started.
We're just about to play
pin the tail on the donkey.
- Pin the tail on the donkey?
- Excellent.
He's taken the bait.
Execute plan b.
- Ok, ok, ok, ok,
enough spinnin'.
- And while you're attempting
To pin the tail
on the domestic mammal,
I'll just put this vinyl record
of rock n' roll
On this cool
and crazy record player.
- Out of sight, man.
- 63 skidoo.
Ow!
interjection
- Are you sure this is 1963?
- Of course it is 1963.
Why wouldn't it be?
Everything
is so totally awesome.
- Totally awesome?
- I mean
Groovy. Groovy.
Everything is totally groovy.
- Totally weird is more like it.
[record skipping]
- You fool.
You put on
a recording from 1964.
You've ruined everything.
He knows.
Oh, the jig is up.
We must reveal all to you.
We apologize for the subterfuge.
It is not 1963,
o time traveler.
- What do you mean,
time traveler?
- You've traveled
through time to the far future.
As incredible as it may seem,
It's now the 21st century.
- The 21st century?
Wow! You mean
like "the jetsons"?
Are there flyin' cars and stuff?
- Actually, antigravity flight
is still quite impos--
- Silence, fool.
We mustn't tell the ape man
anything about his future.
We're all in grave danger.
You must not interact
with this world.
- You mean, like i'm doin' now?
- Yes--i mean, no.
Uh, i mean--
- Dude, stop it.
You could cause a rip in
the space-time continuum.
- A rift. A rift!
You need to watch more tv.
You play outside too much.
[tapping]
- Ahem.
There is one slim chance.
If we were to construct
a huge catapult,
We could shoot our ape man
back into the past.
- What you talkin' about,
freaky kid?
- Are you mad?
It's far too dangerous.
If were to shoot him
into the past,
We could miss 1963
and send him somewhere else.
Who knows
what havoc that would wreak?
- Yeah, what he said.
- No, it's better to keep him
locked up right here.
- What? You ain't
lockin' me up in here.
I can find my own way
back to the past,
Thank you very much.
- Not another step,
ape man, or--
- Or what?
- Aaaaahhhh!
- Wolverines!
- Ugh! Ahh!
- Ugh!
- Seriously, you guys
should get some help.
Ok, gotta stop to think.
I'm stuck in the future,
and i've gotta get back
to the past.
So, this is aron city
in the 21st century, huh?
Hasn't changed much,
except cars are a lot smaller.
- Now's our chance.
He's distracted
by that remote control vehicle.
Let's grab him.
- No, you fool.
It's far too public a place.
We mustn't draw
any attention to him.
- Wait. Maybe if i run
super fast around the world
A couple of times,
I can make it spin backwards
and go back in time.
[gasping, panting]
Maybe if i run backwards.
Aw, man, i need more power.
- Hi. Need a ride?
- Hey, can this baby
go 88 miles an hour?
I need you to drive me
back to the past
Like in that movie.
Punch it, lady, punch it!
- What did you say
your name was?
- Johnny. Johnny bravo. Huh!
- Well, johnny,
the speed limit here
is 25 miles an hour.
- But we've got to go faster!
Maybe if i lighten
the load a little.
- Prepare for evasive action.
- Sir,
shields are at 50% capacity.
Can't take much more.
- Ready cloaking device.
- Hey,
what are you slowing down for?
- The stop sign.
- Forget it.
I can go faster on foot.
- Ok, if you want to walk,
I guess it's healthier.
Sandy?
- Back, back,
you darn dirty apes!
- I'm sorry, primitive one.
We must return you
to your own time!
- I say we build a catapult!
- No, it's far too dangerous.
- Yeah, that's messed up.
- Sandy, kenny, marvin,
This game
has gone on long enough.
Can't you see your friend
doesn't want to play?
- Mom, you don't understand.
- Thanks, lady.
You saved me again.
- My pleasure, johnny.
- Funny, i never noticed
how very foxy you are.
- Oh, gosh, thank you.
- Jeez, zandahan,
he's hitting on your mom.
- Yeah, talk about
messin' with your future.
He could end up your dad.
- Gentlemen,
i think it's time
we send our friend
Back to the past.
Umm, mother unit.
- Yes, sandy?
- Can we just play
one more game with our friend?
- Didn't you say
this thing is dangerous?
- Uh, no,
i said it was mangerous.
- Oh, mangerous.
Huh?
- He's onto us!
Fire in the hole!
- Ohhhh!
- Colonel, is the enemy
allowed to use real missiles?
- Huh?
- Aaahhhh!
- Incoming!
Oomph!
- What year
is this supposed to be?
- 1863.
- Oh, man.
Wake me in 100 years, will you?
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