Johnny Bravo (1997) s04e09 Episode Script

It's a Magical Life/The Hunk at the End of This Cartoon

- 1, 2, 3, huh!
Ooh! Check the pecs!
Hoo! Hah! Hoo!
Man, i'm pretty!
Do the monkey with me! Come on!
Hey there, baby!
Yeah, whatever.
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
- Thanks for being my chaperone
to the magic show, johnny.
- I'm still getting a suzy-free
weekend for this, right?
- Yup. I promise not to bother
you for a whole weekend.
But it was for sometime
in the next 40 years,
And if either of us forgets
about the agreement,
Then the deal is moot.
- That sounds about right.
- And ice cream.
I promise to buy you ice cream.
- Oh, yeah! And it better be
all 31 flavors this time.
[orchestra tuning up]
- Hey, could you move
or something?
Your hair is blocking my view.
- Trust me, pops, my hair
is much more exciting
Than what's onstage.
and trumpet fanfare]
- Ooh!
- Ahh!
- Thank you,
ladies and gentlemen,
Boys and girls.
I am mango the magnificent!
- Uhh-ahh.
Wow. Happy? Can we go now?
- Shh!
- Don't you have something
better to do with that finger?
- Shh!
- Thank you.
Now let's get things started.
First i need a volunteer
from the audience.
- Aah!
Oh! Oh! Oh! Uh!
- You, sir!
- Hmm.
It's not every day
you get your own spotlight,
Unless, of course, you're me.
- Ahem. You, sir?
- I think he's talking
To you, johnny.
- What do you say, audience?
I think our volunteer
needs a little encouragement.
[music playing]
- Wow.
- Yeah!
- Hello, ladies!
Do you believe in magic?
- Yes. We believe in magic.
- Well, then, how about you
watch me turn into
A hunk of burnin' love?
[metal clanging]
- Huh?
- Yes. And now
for my first trick--
- Sweet! A magic wand.
- Do you mind?
It's me they came to see.
- Yeah, i wouldn't bank
on that one.
Hey, audience, check it out.
Nothing here.
Nothing here
And definitely nothing here.
Ha ha ha!
[crickets chirping]
- Yay! Work that stage, johnny!
Work it!
- Thank you,
my cro-magnon friend.
Perhaps you'd like to check
my hat one more time
And see if there is indeed
nothing there.
- Oh!
- Ah!
[cheering and applause]
- Oh, yeah.
Don't mess with the magic.
- Yeah, right.
That was so lame.
How about a game?
52-card pickup.
- My cards!
- What else you got in here?
- [bellows]
- [roar]
- [speaking japanese]
- A big hand for our volunteer.
Please take a seat.
- Nuh-uh. Not until you do
some real magic,
Like, uh, make me
invisible or something.
- Well, i usually save it
for the finale,
But i'll do anything to make
you disappear,
So, ladies and gentlemen,
i will now
Make our volunteer
[crowd cheering]
- Hey, is this thing
Because the last thing my hair
needs is a heat treatment.
- Please,
my torpedo-chested friend.
It will only be for a moment.
- Yeah, well, it better, monkey.
- Now i'm going to make you
completely vanish
So that nobody will know
if you're here or you're there.
- Am i invisible yet?
Because i can't see a thing.
- Abra kadabra. Ala kazaam.
- i'm gonna be invisible
- A magic box. A volunteer.
Some magic words. Now disappear!
- Oh!
- Ahh!
That's incredible!
- Johnny? If you're invisible,
don't say anything.
Cool beans.
- Whoa! Oop!
Oh, i thought i was
supposed to turn invisible.
I knew it! Just like i thought.
I can see myself,
but nobody else can.
invisible guy
- You're right. This mural
looks absolutely lifelike.
Thumbs up.
- Well, now that i'm invisible,
I might as well
do fun invisible stuff,
Like sneak into a movie.
- Dadgum these shoelaces.
They're always coming undone.
I'd better tie them into
super-quadruple knots
To keep them in place.
- Aw, man.
There's no ticket taker.
This takes all the fun
out of being invisible.
Oh, well. Maybe i can have
some fun at the candy counter.
- There! Take that,
- I'll take one of these,
one of these,
And a bunch of these, please.
How much will that be?
You mean it's free?
Thank you, visible guy.
- Neato burrito. I finally
trained myself to sleep
With my eyes open.
- invisible backstroke
invisible backstroke
It's like nobody even
knows i'm here.
- Ok, that's the last statue.
It's all done.
- Yeah, but is it art?
"large uninterested crowd."
i don't get it.
- Who cares? We're getting paid.
- Brrr. Now what other
invisible stuff can i do,
But with clothes on?
Man, this must look crazy
to the people in the store,
Like the doors are opening
by themselves.
- Uh, you deal with it, man.
You're the supervising bag boy.
- Oooh! Haunted doors.
Oooh! Haunted chess piece.
"i'm floating in midair.
Isn't that spooky?"
- Give me that.
I'm onto your tricks,
You crazy whippersnapper.
- Don't even try
to pretend you know i'm here,
Because i know you don't
have special powers
Like some people i know.
Besides, you can't catch
what you can't see.
Man, being invisible sure can
make you hungry.
Crazy menu is all
in french or something.
Hey, waiter--uh, garcon!
I'll take some of that--
What am i doing?
Maybe i'll get mama to make me
a chicken pot pie.
- Good. He is leaving.
- I didn't want to wait
on him anyways.
- He didn't even leave a tip.
- Some people are so bourgeois.
- This is perfect.
My new robot is completely
lifelike in every way.
Robot girl, stop!
I said stop walking, robot girl.
She doesn't obey my commands.
Typical woman.
How delightful.
Hey, baby. Hup! Tired of looking
for love in all the wrong pla--
Oh, no! How am i
supposed to hit on chicks
If they can't see me?
- Liebchen, come back!
- I've got to get home,
find mama.
She'll know i'm here
and she'll feed me,
Even if i'm invisible.
- Surprise
- Mama? Hey, mama!
- look into your eyes
- Stop! It's me--johnny!
- lunch lady surprise
- Mama, help! I'm invisible!
It's me, mama--johnny,
Your special little
invisible boy!
doh dee doh dee doh doh,..
- Mom! Mom!
I always thought that being
invisible would be cool,
But i was wrong.
I don't want to
be invisible anymore.
I want to pick up chicks.
I want people to see me.
I want my mama to see me.
- Johnny, i was wondering
where you went.
- Not now, kid.
Can't you see i'm busy?
Now, where was i? Oh, yeah.
Wait a second.
Did you just say
something to me?
- Uh, yeah.
- You mean you can see me?
- Again, uh, yeah.
- You can see me!
My friendly yet annoying
little neighbor kid,
You can see me!
Hello, crowd of people
in the background.
You can see me, too?
This is cool! Whoo!
Hello, bus stop!
Hello, lamppost.
Hello, uptight guy
wearing a suit.
Hello, fat guy
eating a sandwich.
Hello, foxy lady. Hello--
Oh, hello, foxy lady.
Want to see a magic trick? Huah!
Now you see me, now you see me.
Oh, yeah. I still got it.
- And a-1 and a-2 and a-huh!
And a-1 and a-2 and a-huh!
And a-1 and a-2 and a-huh?
I don't remember
this being here.
"the hunk at the end of"
- "this cartoon!"
- Oh! Can't you see i'm reading?
- Haven't you heard the news?
There's a hunk at the end
of this cartoon.
- That's not news.
There's always a hunk
at the end of this cartoon,
And the beginning
and the middle,
And that hunk is me--
Johnny bravo.
- Nope. Not you.
There's a new hunk.
- A new hunk?
- A new hunk!
- At the end of this cartoon?
- At the end
of this cartoon.
And the word on the street is
he's pretty dreamy.
- Hate to burst your bubble,
little neighbor girl
- uh!
- But there's only room
for one hunk.
- Hunk?
[all shouting at once]
- Uh!
As i was saying,
There's only room for one hunk
In this cartoon,
And that would be yours truly.
- I'm just calling it
like it is.
- Now if you'll excuse me,
there's a bevy of beauties
Beggin' for some bravo.
That sentence was brought to you
by the letter "b."
- Oh, brother.
- Don't fret, ladies.
There's plenty
of johnny to go around.
A tasty tricep.
Juicy pecs.
How about a bicep?
Or are you more of a leg lady?
- What makes you say that?
- Oof!
Something ain't right.
Those chicks were
resisting my charms.
And my charms are irresistible.
It's like they thought
There was something more
important than me.
What could that be?
- The hunk.
- The hunk?
- The hunk at the end
of this cartoon.
- The hunk
at the end of this cartoon?
- Is there an echo in here?
- Seriously, who is this guy?
How many push-ups can he do?
Does he wear his hair natural
or styled?
And why is he muscling in
on my cartoon?
- The fame, the fortune,
the babes.
- The babes?
I've got to stop this no-good
hunk before it's too late.
- 8:59, 58, 57.
Better get a move on, johnny.
Clock's a-tickin', which means
we're getting closer
To the end of this cartoon.
- Well, then there's
no time to waste.
Mister, you are some sort
of good-looking. Hey!
You can say that again.
Mister, you are some sort of--
- Ahem.
- Oh, right. We'll talk later.
Time to give this hunk a warm
johnny bravo welcome.
- Time!
[playing "stars and stripes
- Oh, mama.
Now, if i were a hunk,
where would i be?
Wait a minute. I am a hunk,
and i am standing right here.
There you are.
You can't hide forever, pal!
He's got to be here somewhere.
Ladies' man.
Smooth operator.
Cool cat.
Babe magnet.
Oh, man. I'm never
gonna find this guy.
I mean, how do you tell a hunk
From a regular old beefcake
or stud muffin?
- You look for the crumbs!
- You get it?
You look for the crumbs.
[rim shot]
Oh, forget it.
Here. Two for one sale
at muffin move-a-lottas.
I tell you, there's no love
left for the zinger.
- Psst! Psst!
Down here.
You the one looking
for the hunk?
- Sure am.
You seen him, whiskers?
- Haven't seen him,
but i hear he's got real
- Ha ha! Ma-cheese-mo.
Get it?
See, he's a mouse, and, uh,
mice like cheese, right?
I give up.
- [yowling]
- Mm-hmm. Ha ha ha!
I love me some tom and jerry.
Oop. Time's flying.
We got to hunker down.
- [whistling]
- Nice try, pal.
Thought you could pull a fast
one on old johnny bravo.
- Excuse me?
- Trying to play dumb, huh?
- Uh, no, but i am looking to
play doofus number one
In the aron city production
of "look who's stupid now."
- [animal bleating]
- Are you the hunk or not?
- The hunk? You mean the hunk?
That guy's in a whole
different league.
I mean, i've got a nice smile,
decent cheekbones,
Lustrous hair--
- You're coming with me.
- Chiseled dimples,
hypnotic eyes
One of you guys is the hunk,
And i've got to get
the hunk out of my cartoon.
- A little help?
[music playing]
You are one hunky hunk
of danger.
- This show is just
getting too weird.
[tires screech]
- Huah!
- [horse neighs]
- Hunk.
- Hi, johnny.
- You can't be too careful.
Uh! Uh! Uh! Uh!
I declare this cartoon
And with time to spare.
Wise guy, huh?
Man, that hunk
is one tough word.
- How's it going, johnny?
- Hunky-dory, thanks.
I just got rid of every last
bit of hunk in this cartoon.
- Really? What about those guys?
[elephant trumpeting]
- The hunks are coming!
The hunks are coming!
And i'm running out of time.
What am i gonna do?
- Relax, johnny.
- Yeah. Relax, johnny.
- These things are just
a part of show biz.
- Right. Show biz.
- The turning of the tides.
- Turn of whuh?
- The changing of the guard.
- I put a fresh pair on this
morning, thank you very much.
- Uh-huh. Look, johnny.
We've been friends a long time
and i'm a big fan,
But i got to go get ready.
There's a hunk at the end
of this cartoon,
And i need to look my best.
- Yeah? Well, you're
in for a big letdown,
Because nobody out-hunks
the incredible hunk.
I was talking about me,
in case you didn't catch that.
- Bye, johnny.
[marching footsteps]
[elephant trumpeting]
- No hunky hunkerson is going
to push johnny bravo
Out of a johnny bravo cartoon.
[elephant trumpeting]
What are you looking at?
Beat it.
No hunk's getting in here.
This is it.
10, 9, 8, 11,
Sick, flive, 4, 3, 2, 1.
The end of the cartoon!
I did it!
I'm the only hunk here--me!
Johnny bravo!
I'm the hunk at the end
of this cartoon!
- It's the hunk!
- It's him!
- It's him!
- It's the hunk!
The hunk is here!
Ha ha ha!
A hunk of cheese. Get it?
- Ok. Well, it makes sense
to him, apparently.
- Is that supposed to be
a joke?
- See, you thought the hunk
at the end of this cartoon
Was a person, but it wasn't.
It was a hunk of cheese.
- Oh, i wanted to see a hunk.
[people muttering]
A hunk of cheese?
Oh, what is it
with you people?!
I tell you,
i do and i do and i do.
I write the material,
and i know this stuff is funny,
Yet i look at them,
and it's like an oil painting.
- Hey, i get it.
A hunk of cheese.
Ha ha ha!
Ha ha ha ha!
Wait a minute. That's not funny.
Captioning made possible by
turner entertainment group
Captioned by the national
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