Kaulitz & Kaulitz (2024) s01e07 Episode Script

Episode 7

So, Mouse, is it finally time
for our road trip?
It is. We're finally heading out.
It's time to pick an RV for our road trip.
Oh yeah, nice.
A modern one, don't you think?
Well, I'm certainly not driving it.
Why is it called "quality time"?
-Because it's quality time.
-You're not actually doing anything.
-That's the true quality.
-So it's higher quality than
-than when you're working. It's awesome.
What does "Full Service" mean to you?
It's what I do for you all day long.
Everything. Everything included.
We went for full-service campsites,
so nothing can really go wrong.
My biggest concern was
having electricity and fresh water.
Because at Burning Man,
my wife once took a shower
and used up all the water.
I was the first to shower,
and I used up all the water.
For the next three days,
nobody could shower.
It never occurred to me
when I was washing my hair.
Tom, you can clean the toilet.
No way I'm doing it.
Me neither.
Maybe you can leave it in there
for a few days.
Or we could leave it open like a latrine,
and it will fall right out onto the road.
-We could open it while driving.
-That's what I mean.
Ask her if you can go number two. Ask her.
Full Service, in the camping world,
means there are people who make sure
you have your water connection,
that your electricity works,
and that your toilet is emptied.
Which is what Tom and I really wanted.
Because the worst thing
was the prospect of one of us
taking out this weird battery
or whatever it is, I don't know,
taking this thing out to empty the toilet.
It was really glamping.
It was more like, "We have a good RV
that is really well-equipped."
I have a bit of a problem
with listening, I must admit.
When things don't interest me,
I just feign interest and just say,
"Aha. Mm-hmm."
But I'm not listening at all.
I just go, "Got it."
And then I'm like,
"What did she just say?"
How does the generator charge?
With the diesel that's in here.
If you leave it on at night,
you get carbon monoxide poisoning.
Dude, how dangerous is that?
You can't have certain buttons on
at the same time,
or you get carbon monoxide poisoning.
If you're not careful, you're dead.
You don't want to fall asleep in an RV
and not wake up.
Imagine that.
That's not a rock star death.
When I die, I definitely want it to be
a spectacular death.
Be careful.
-Are you sure you can drive this thing?
-I can drive anything.
What was that?
Let's see where the camper takes us.
Into the unknown.
Do you like my camping outfit?
It's my first time wearing it.
-Cute, right?
-These are my hiking shoes.
Look, they have a really good sole.
Today Hans is going to visit me
-Lies is looking forward to it
But if he arrives via Oberammergau
Or if he arrives via Unterammergau
I don't think
there's anything better in the world
than spending real quality time together.
Without a schedule.
Brothers spending time together.
And once we do that,
throw ourselves into it,
we'll realize how much we've missed it.
-I brought all my jewelry with me.
-Me too.
Do you have a gun or a knife?
No. Shit, I forgot.
You idiot! I knew it.
No reception. Absolute wilderness.
It's getting bleak.
So, now we're going to play,
and I think it'll be ultra-difficult
We're going to play the game
where we say a truth and a lie,
and you have to work out which is which.
It's going to be difficult, because
you actually know everything about me.
Okay? Ready?
I'm ready, but I'm thinking.
Okay. I've badmouthed you
to our friends before.
-You definitely have.
Or one of our friends said to me
that he wasn't actually friends with you.
The second is the lie. That a friend
said he wasn't friends with me.
Yes. Shit, that was too easy.
-That was really easy.
-I know you badmouth me.
-But the other one could've been true too.
-Have you spoken really badly about me?
-Yes, sometimes.
What does "sometimes" mean? Recently?
Well, when we fight,
I complain to our friends,
because our friends always agree with me.
They complain about you too.
-Yes, I complain
-I don't complain about you.
-I'm sure you do sometimes.
-I don't believe you.
-I don't, I swear. I don't do that.
Is that true?
One hundred percent, I don't.
-I thought we only gossiped about others.
-No, I've gossiped about you before too.
-That's sad.
Yeah, the truth and lie game,
I put my foot right in it with that one.
I said something
I think I've sown a weird seed there.
But only when you've done
something really bad, Tom. Your turn now.
I don't want to play this game anymore.
I don't want to think about it.
I was really disappointed.
I think he was uncomfortable too.
Maybe he's thinking about it
a little now, in hindsight.
Especially now he knows I don't do it.
In all seriousness,
I wouldn't say a bad word about Bill
to other people.
-As if you've never spoken badly of me
Honestly, I'm thinking back.
I haven't. I don't.
You say bad things to my face.
-Yes, that's a bit better.
-Unrepeatable things.
Well, better to your face
than behind your back.
No, absolutely not.
Maybe not in the last fight,
but you do it too.
-Yes, you do.
"So, it was a nice trip."
I'm going to look at my phone now.
I don't think Tom and I will ever argue
in a way that we can't fix afterwards.
We've already said every bad thing
we could possibly say to each other.
I never have any doubt that
we'll always manage to sort things out.
We're just connected on a level
that's bigger than any argument.
We can't do without each other.
We wouldn't make sense without each other.
Let's get gas.
We only have a quarter tank left.
-Yes, that'd be good.
-This might be the last pump for a while.
I'm worried we'll end up stranded.
-This is just a gas station.
Full of truckers who spend the night.
If there are truckers here,
I'm getting out too.
What happens in the little huts?
-That's where you can
-Do you think?
-They're for hanky-panky?
-For having a little fun.
Hello, truckers, where are you?
-She didn't say diesel, did she?
-There are no truckers here.
-Bill, there's a cockroach there by you.
-What? Where?
La cucaracha, la cucaracha
-I sing in the morning
-I sing in the evening
Even at midnight
Even at midnight
Is it right in here? Ah, yes.
"Sunrise RV Park." Yes, that's it.
Oh, God.
I pictured something very different.
I thought people would be outside.
There's nothing going on here.
The Sunrise campsite
is just a parking lot.
You can't call that a campsite.
-Dude, this is so ugly.
-Really ugly.
I think it's the ugliest campsite
I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah, there was nothing.
Everyone's asleep already.
I wouldn't exactly call it full service.
I've had enough camping already. What now?
Who will connect us to the water?
-We have to do it ourselves.
-No, that's bullshit.
We have to, there's no one here.
Electricity first so we can see.
I'm not doing a thing.
I can't see anything.
Shine a light in there, please.
Be gentle.
I don't like doing anything practical.
Sadly, I live up to the cliché.
Bill gave himself the nickname
"Holly Hoover."
Holly Hoover is naturally
in charge of keeping things tidy indoors.
Okay, water. No, not there.
That's the electricity, you idiot.
It has to be nice and tight,
or it'll blow up in our faces.
Now it's in.
Yes, okay. Then you have to turn it on.
It's leaking quite a bit, isn't it?
-It's getting worse. Careful, Tom.
I'm already eyeing that hotel.
A hotel did sound good,
but at the same time,
it wasn't that great of a hotel.
We'll just make ourselves comfortable
in the RV, it'll be fine.
To our first lovely night of camping.
And to the eight-hour drive.
-Worth it.
-Worth it.
-It is tasty, yeah.
It's my favorite champagne.
What do we want to eat?
Are you hungry at all?
I love simple food.
Tom and I grew up with very simple food.
So yes, camping food
is something I actually enjoy.
I actually cooked.
I warmed up the lentil soup.
Do I have to do something else here?
Wow, it already smells of gas.
And I fried sausages
for the first time in my life.
What do you think, Tom? On low?
Normally, I'm the guy
in charge of the sausages,
but this time Bill cooked them.
-It smells of gas in here.
-Of gas?
What is that?
What is that!
-The smoke detector.
-Turn it off, Tom.
-I didn't turn it on. Is it the sausage?
Yes, delicious. I don't think I've ever
slaved over a stove for that long.
It's true.
-Did you turn everything off?
-I smell like sausages.
-Did you turn everything off?
-I think so.
-Aren't my decorations nice?
-Let me see.
I think the camper looks like,
"Don't mess with us."
Like we take camping
really seriously, yeah.
Bill and I always make it nice.
No matter where we are,
if we have a few candles,
a bit of atmosphere,
and a nice glass of wine,
it's cozy anywhere.
It's nice. When was the last time
we went somewhere together?
It's been a long time, hasn't it?
-Just for work.
Yeah, only for work. To work.
To work.
Let's say
-Slaving away.
-Into the mines
It must have been years ago.
Five years at least.
-No time.
-No time.
As ugly as this campsite is,
this is the kind of thing you remember.
-The shitty things especially.
That's true. You always remember
all the things that went wrong.
-Do we have napkins?
-No paper towels?
Dibs on the big bed.
You're sleeping on the cot.
Tom and I have an old rule from childhood
that we still apply now, at 34.
It works like this.
The person who says it first gets it.
As easy as, "Not doing the dishes,
not cooking the pasta,
not opening the wine."
"I'm sleeping in the master bedroom!"
So I get to.
We have to put this weird
What's it called again?
That's the deodorizer block.
I think you flush it down, don't you?
Flush it once.
Oh, so it goes into the tank.
Yeah. Now you can do your business.
This bed is so disgusting!
Oh no, Tom, I don't think it has a cover.
Or does it?
No. Is this supposed to be a cover?
-What is that woolen blanket?
-I think we have to sleep with that.
-With a woolen blanket?
-Yes, we have to cover it.
I see. Are you doing it?
-No. Not for
-For both of us?
You cooked a nice meal.
Tom, I can't even get
my cosmetics case out in here.
-You brought a cosmetics case?
-Yeah, I don't need much.
How do you do this with a blanket?
Woolen blankets are so unhygienic.
How do you cover it?
Okay, it's bearable this way.
It's really cramped up here.
I'm too lazy to look for my pajamas.
Thanks so much
for the lovely birthday present.
What's that supposed to mean?
It's been fun so far.
I made you some lentil soup.
-Cooked some sausages.
Yes. I hope the campsite tomorrow
is a bit nicer.
Me too.
-Sleep well!
-Good night, Mouse.
My back hurts.
The night was restless.
I slept like I was camping.
That's how I slept. Not for very long.
I could've slept a bit longer.
I slept badly.
I had bad dreams. Nightmares.
But it's nice out,
people are walking their dogs.
The sun is rising here at Sunrise.
-The shower is good, right?
-Yeah, it's okay.
-The water is itchy as hell.
-Because it's probably really old.
-You were gonna brush your teeth with it.
-I think I did.
-You did?
-I think so.
Well, have fun on the toilet.
The highway's right behind you.
Off at last.
Heading towards the Grand Canyon.
What are we doing today?
Wait and find out
Of course, I spared no expense or effort
in making this road trip unforgettable.
We might be going up
in a hot air balloon today.
Not a chance.
-Oh, I'd love to do that.
Tom hates surprises,
but he hates flying even more.
Now you have the stress
And we have the fun
What is it?
We're losing water.
People were signaling to us, saying,
"Pull over,
there's something wrong with your RV."
We pulled over, and water was spraying
out of our water tank the whole time.
That is really bad.
The water tank should always be full.
It's all broken.
Why did we get such a shitty caravan?
Lesley gave us a lemon.
This always happens to us.
We get the shitty RV that's about to die.
Just typical.
I think it's time for us
to hitch a ride with someone else.
-Do this.
I had to tape it up. Nothing else worked.
I turned and turned it,
it wouldn't tighten.
I just put gaffer tape over it.
It looks really ugly.
But, in a way,
now we look even more like campers.
Such shit.
-Check it out!
-Oh, yeah.
-Amazing, right?
-Beautiful, yeah.
This is the first time
we've seen the Grand Canyon.
We do these things so rarely.
If Bill hadn't suggested
this trip with the RV,
I don't think we would have done it
for many, many years, if at all.
It's so pretty
with the clouds, isn't it? Look.
Wow, it's pretty.
Wow. Amazing, huh?
Yes, we've just been constantly working
since our birthday, haven't we?
-Just working.
-No quality time at all.
-Right? No.
-Just one thing after another.
-Project after project.
Yes. Well, it's nice
to have a bit of nature.
-Beautiful. Cool, huh?
The little parking lot camp was worth it.
Lovely. Something we'll never forget.
We're sharing the moment.
Something neither of us have seen before.
Moments that aren't perfect
or that are as breathtaking as this view,
or things that go wrong,
or things you end up lacking,
or things you laugh about,
those turn into great memories.
-Does the air feel good to you?
No, right?
-It's not like being in a forest.
-It's a bit dusty.
-Dusty, yeah.
We've seen a bit of nature. Now back
to poisoning our bodies once again.
Naturally, I have a little surprise
for Tom in my luggage.
I suspected it was something to annoy me.
I wanted
to get him out of his shell a bit.
He didn't really want it
to be a good surprise.
-Zip lines are life-threatening.
-They are not.
For him, it's less about
experiencing something together
and more about proving to himself
that I'm the boring one.
Come on, let's go have a nice beer
in the saloon.
We can do that afterwards.
I thought maybe
Tom could surprise me for once
and not be as fun hating as he usually is.
The perfect day to risk your life.
This kind of shit is how you die.
Nothing's ever happened,
or they would've closed.
Or maybe they keep it quiet.
They sweep it under the rug.
-I'm scared too, but come on.
-It is too high. Are you crazy?
-I'm also Come on.
-I won't do it.
These are really very small screws.
-Come on, Tom.
The screws, right? They look so loose.
But they have to be.
Even the ones with the rollers on them.
I feel a bit sick now too. Oh my God!
I wondered whether
it was really serviced regularly.
Is it checked even during the off-season?
We're in the off-season right now.
Tom, come on!
-Oh, no, I don't think so, no.
I just thought
about the moment when I actually go.
-I don't think so.
-Man. Okay.
I hesitated too, thinking,
"If Tom isn't going to do it,
why would I do it on my own?"
The answer is, I like fun.
I'll try everything. I thought,
"Come on, screw it."
I'll fly down on my own.
Marc! If something happens to me,
don't forget me.
I sent a little goodbye message to Marc.
I wanted to show him how cool I am.
Oh my God.
I loved it.
It was just totally liberating.
It wasn't nearly as bad as you'd think.
It wasn't actually that fast.
It was fun.
-You could have come. That was really fun.
It wasn't bad.
I don't regret not doing it.
I've already skydived.
It would have been
a nice memory, but okay.
We're nearly out of gas,
and we're gonna have a flat.
-How much gas do we have?
-Less than a quarter tank.
-Do you think we'll be stranded?
-I wonder where the next gas station is.
It's getting a bit dangerous.
I really thought our RV
was going to fall apart.
The RV had a good two, three,
four years on the road.
-Ah, yes.
-She's expecting us.
At the end of the dirt road,
we arrived at Slow Me Down Ranch.
Straight. And now turn in.
There was nothing there. There were
just some shrubs, a few mountains.
Yes, that's good.
It's a bit like a date on Raya
or Tinder or something, isn't it?
The pictures online always look so nice,
and then you meet them and think
We're really in the wilderness now.
Yes. Be careful,
or the coyotes will get you.
I guess there's no Wi-Fi here.
There was no phone reception,
no electricity,
no water connection, nothing.
Yeah. It could be quite a night.
It's probably
not going to be full service.
The Slow Me Down Ranch
was exactly what the name promised.
You really get slowed down.
All the way to a stop.
What do we do now?
Make ourselves comfortable.
I kept wondering
how we were going to survive the night.
We hadn't even said goodbye.
I need to at least send a text
or something, to say I'm okay.
We can't just disappear
for twelve hours without reception.
It's scary.
I can't remember the last time
I haven't been reachable on Instagram.
I don't care about Instagram.
I just want to send a message to my wife.
The worst thing for me is Instagram
and TikTok. What do I do in bed?
Well, you can spend some time
with yourself.
Shit, Tom! That wasn't the plan.
I just want to say we're in the desert,
and I have no reception.
Right. And send a quick dick pic.
No, you can't send a photo, Mouse.
-I think we'll have to hike up there.
-No, I'm not doing that.
-With flashlights.
-I refuse to hike a mountain in the dark.
We'll stay here where it's safe
and make a small fire.
We'll keep on trying to see if maybe
Oh, I've got a bar.
-I've got nothing.
-Oh, no, now it's gone!
I'm back here.
Come back!
This is just how horror movies go.
They always split up,
and the viewer sits there thinking,
"Why are they splitting up now?
Stay together!"
-I have some signal.
-You do?
Yes, but now I can't send anything out.
Searching for signal.
No, I don't worry.
Not when my husband is there.
My husband can do everything.
Let's light a fire.
That's a small fire.
It's a bit spooky.
It stinks really bad.
Man, be careful
with your good cashmere sweater.
You'll never get the stain out.
Do you want to do something?
I've already organized
this whole fantastic trip.
-Not bad. The kind of fire Dad made.
-Only with a lighter.
-So what? You'd have tried for hours.
-Of course not.
I just didn't want to.
The fire was burning bright,
we opened another bottle of wine,
and the mood improved a bit.
-To life.
-To life and quality time.
Let's call the coyotes.
Oh, I saw a shooting star.
No, it was a bat.
-Think carefully about your wish.
Yes, hang on.
Maybe something
like health for your family.
No, you're healthy enough.
-What was it?
-I'm not telling you.
-What I thought.
-Yes, what you thought.
"I want him to love me
as much as I love him."
He's a nice guy, but
Is he the one?
Do you know?
He doesn't have to be, though.
You can just have a good time for now.
-Don't be so skeptical.
-I'm not skeptical.
I'm not skeptical. I'm just saying,
enjoy yourself first, and then
We'll see what happens.
-The star will take care of the rest.
-The universe will take care of it.
I'm just glad that there's someone
in Bill's life whom he likes.
Someone he wants to get to know better,
to date, to fall in love with.
That makes me happy for him.
He hasn't had that for many years.
Oh, it's nice up here, huh?
-Very nice.
Look how peaceful it is.
Yes, now I have signal!
-Me too. I only have a bar.
-One bar, wait.
Are you getting anything?
-I don't know. It says, "not delivered."
-Then it's not sending.
Heidi hasn't texted you?
-I didn't get anything, no.
Oh, signal! Cell phone signal!
Sadly, I've only received
unpleasant messages.
What unpleasant messages?
-I got a message I don't like.
Because I made plans for Christmas,
but they're not turning out
the way I imagined.
And now I'll probably
have to spend it alone.
No, Mouse.
I got a message from Marc
that made me a bit sad.
When I like someone,
and I'm a bit in love,
I'm thinking about seeing them again.
But I think it was a bit one-sided.
He wasn't quite as excited as I was.
I saw it coming, of course.
Yes. I saw it coming.
But I promised I wouldn't be pessimistic,
I wouldn't speak negatively.
That's why I'm holding back.
But yes, I suspected it.
We'll celebrate Christmas in advance.
Yeah, but on the 24th, I'll be alone.
But it won't be so bad
if we've already celebrated.
You know me.
When I'm alone on the holidays
Things get dark.
Really dark.
I drown my worries in alcohol.
Stop it, man.
-No, I'll do something. I'll
-If you feel alone, come with us.
I told him, "If you don't want to be alone
on the 24th, you can come with us."
We'll be on vacation, in the warmth.
You can join us instead of being alone.
Evidently, lots of people
are happy to spend Christmas with me,
which means my plans change quickly.
I'm going to go on vacation
with my friend Sara,
and we're going to look for boys.
This is nice.
Here's a camping ground I like.
We'll get full service here.
Time to show off.
Who's got the biggest car?
Who's got the biggest car here?
Bye, dear camper. It was nice.
Our camping trip came to an end
at the Four Seasons Hotel.
It was really nice
after two days of sleeping on a board.
-Nothing is as good as my lentil soup.
-No, it's hard to top.
Do I prefer camping to a hotel suite?
Always a hotel suite.
-To the road trip. What a nice ending.
What did we get out of the road trip?
Unforgettable memories.
-Moments we'll remember forever.
-Yes, you're right.
If we had known beforehand
that we wouldn't have full service,
we wouldn't have internet,
we wouldn't have cell reception,
we wouldn't have agreed to go.
I think all of that is old.
These are tasty.
Expiration date, December.
Today I woke up drenched in sweat.
Me too. What were you dreaming about?
-I can't tell you.
The worst thing that could happen
was all kind of packed
into one dream last night.
We talk in the morning
and tell each other how we slept.
It's always the same.
"I had a horrible night." "Me too."
Every morning, "Oh, I didn't sleep well."
-"I woke up at five o'clock."
-"I'm tired."
"I couldn't go back to sleep."
"I had nightmares."
Everyone's like, "It's just a nightmare."
But if you don't sleep well
and have nightmares,
your battery is never fully charged.
I woke up soaking wet.
My hair I didn't look like myself at all.
I thought, "I won't get through the day."
I woke up at five.
I remember when we were really young,
we had the same nightmare.
It was about an evil witch.
We wanted to fight this evil witch.
We had a creel with lots of toys.
Building blocks and
toy cars. And
-A what?
-A creel.
A toy creel. Is that what you call it?
Yes, toy
Behind the toy What do you call it?
Like a basket.
A creel. Isn't that what you call it?
Is that not a real word?
Wait, toy basket. Behind our toy basket.
It was under our desk.
We dreamed about the evil witch
who lived in there.
She brutally murdered our parents.
With a what do you call the
With a hose like this.
Strangled them with a shower hose.
In the bath.
I'd like to have a few nights
where I don't dream at all.
Me too.
You're just an old dreamer.
I thought I would like
a little dream interpretation,
so I booked us a session.
We're going there today so we can
investigate what's wrong with us.
She's going to say,
"You feel attacked,
and you're under too much stress."
Then we'll leave.
We won't dare. We know ourselves.
We're too nice. We'll just sit there.
Then stand up. Be brave!
Be the new Tom who says,
"I'm going now, this is stupid."
No, I don't do that.
We can act all surprised and say
Tom would never have booked a session.
Talking to a stranger,
and letting them into his head
He'll hate me afterwards.
I'm excited, actually.
I don't think dreams mean anything.
They're just strings
of images and information
that your brain just farts
into your dream tube.
I do find the fact that we both dream
so much to be strange.
I don't even have to look at him.
He has no desire to write down his dream.
Write down the whole dream?
It'll take a while.
The task is turning out
to be very difficult
because Tom isn't good
at this sort of thing.
He doesn't like to write.
That's why I wrote a book, and he didn't.
I'm very good at writing. I like it.
I also write all our song lyrics.
I'm a bestselling author.
How much more will you write?
-I think I'm done.
-Me too.
-Did you only write one page?
Writing something down
by hand, a whole essay,
Then having to present it
I also think Brooke
is a typical psychologist.
She has such a suspicious look
that says, "You can't fool me."
"I know you have problems,
and we're going to look into them."
What am I feeling? I dunno.
She asked questions
that I couldn't answer that quickly.
I wasn't even sure I was ready
to open up to Brooke like that.
It was the first time we'd met.
Well, I felt like we were both sweating.
I thought it was getting
a bit warm in there.
I want to do better than Tom.
Time to show off my author skills.
I can do a lot of things,
but boxing is not one of them.
I hope dreams don't have meanings,
because then I'd really have to worry.
She looks straight at you, and you get
a little scared, thinking, "What?"
"What does she want?" She's so serious.
I think, "Yeah, it's not that bad."
That was pretty intimate, I thought.
-Didn't you think so?
She's really a therapist.
-She might be a good therapist for you.
I don't know. I have the feeling
there's a time for therapists in life.
And I feel like it's not my time yet.
It was challenging
But the main realization is
that we don't self-reflect.
-That's why we dream so much.
But it will stay that way.
I think time is the big issue.
Taking time for ourselves and stuff.
I always ignore everything.
I ignore signals from my body,
I ignore negative feelings.
Because, well, I don't have time.
But I also hate it
when people say "me time."
Hearing it makes me sick.
Oh God, how much more?
The same we've been doing all year,
but condensed.
-Yeah, all over again.
Subtitle translation by: M. C.
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