Kiff (2021) s01e04 Episode Script
The Five Pigeons of the Acapellapocalypse/Leave a Little Juice
1
Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff
Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff ♪
Kiff! ♪
(giggles)
(both laugh)
ANNOUNCER: Brought to you
by Foxhole Productions.
Ooh, don't you collect these?
Eh, I already have
the whole set.
(gasps)
How about these?
Eh, I don't collect
those anymore.
Oh.
Anything?
Eh. Nah.
Heh, look at this.
(chuckling)
Who would buy that?
Trust me,
let sleeping pigeons lie.
Ugh! Can't today.
I'm having a garage sale.
My shows took a dip
in the ratings last month,
so I decided to play it safe
and sell a bunch of junk.
The phone isn't for sale.
(chuckles)
So dumb.
Oh. Find anything?
(laughs)
What?
There's just something about it.
I mean, where did it come from?
Why's he wearing
this little hat?
And what are these?
Loafers?
(gasp) Wait, there's a number 4
on his necklace.
Does that mean
there's more of them?
Is this a part of a set?
Are you asking me?
Because--
To the collectorium!
Oh!
(gasps)
KIFF:
No manufacturer, no date.
(sniffs, gasps)
-Smell that?
-(sniffs)
Oh. Smells like birthday cake.
This was made out of a material
called Hennepin,
which was only produced
between 1908 and 1911.
Barry, we got a lead.
To the library!
(Kiff gasps)
There's five of them, Barry.
Each one,
a personality of their own.
This one must be Mystery Lad.
(giggling)
-Kiff?
-We got to get all five!
(both laughing)
Ooh, we're only missing
number one.
And then the collection
will be complete.
And that's why
I never get distracted.
(cell phone rings)
Hello?
It's my manager!
(gasps)
(gasps)
HELEN: And did they
guarantee me a trailer?
I have
(gasps)
Barry! It's number one!
We got them all!
What now?
This is it.
This is collecting.
(thunder crashing)
I can play 16.
(explosions)
Oh, no. Mom, I'll call you back.
(gasps)
(both whimpering)
-(electricity crackles)
-(gasps)
Thank you for freeing us ♪
Thank you for freeing us
Thanks ♪
-(all laugh)
-(dance music blares)
(excited chatter)
(laughing)
-(air horn blows)
-Whoo-hoo!
You fools.
You've brought back
the Five Pigeons
of the Acapella-pocalypse.
The what?
(dance music blaring)
(screaming)
(screaming)
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
(snickering)
(laughing)
Whoa!
-(music stops)
-Excuse me.
No, wait.
What is all of this about?
(dance music blaring)
(laughing)
Help!
We got to help him!
(all laughing)
Hey, hey, hey!
(music stops)
(scatting)
We flip the tables ♪
Oh, we flip the tables
So good ♪
-Ha-ha!
-(screams)
(dance music blaring)
(all screaming)
(strumming)
(police sirens
blaring distantly)
(Helen groans)
Helen, wait.
(whimpering)
What is going on?
Those five pigeons
are ancient
cosmic crumb bags
from an unknown time.
My great-great-great-
grandmother
helped curse them
into toy form.
They were then scattered
to the far corners of Table Town
for good reason.
KIFF: Then why would they
put out an ad for them?
It's not an ad.
It's a PSA seeking
five secure locations
to keep these cursed toys
separate.
See? There's my
great-great-great granny.
The only way
to reverse the curse
is to separate the pigeons
before sunset.
Simple enough.
Come on.
Let's go separate them.
Are you nuts? No.
The pigeons
are way too powerful.
-You're stealing a car?
-What? No, this is my car.
Bye.
Why couldn't I leave
that pigeon toy alone?
Why did I need
to collect them all?
There's got to be something
we can do.
(Kiff gasps)
I have an idea.
(distant screams)
(moaning)
We are the ghost of your
great-great-great-grandmother.
We command you to help us
stop the pigeons.
You're not the ghost of my
great-great-great-grandmother.
How do you know?
Because she's over there.
-Hello.
-(both scream)
The five pigeons are back?
Helen, why aren't you
helping these two?
Your mom and gran
and great-great-gran
would be ashamed of you.
The daddies too.
Okay, okay.
I guess I am
kind of the chosen one.
(snaps fingers)
Let's separate those pigeons.
Yeah!
-(distant police sirens)
-This is good.
They're tired.
Let's go.
(giggling)
(exclaims and laughs)
If something
That seems hard to do ♪
We got a shot
If it's one plus two ♪
It's a team-up ♪
Oh, yeah ♪
The fate of the world
Is on the line ♪
Combine our skills ♪
As we align ♪
We'll split 'em up ♪
All right ♪
Because these birds
Are the worst ♪
They're so annoying ♪
The Five Pigeons
Of the Acapella-pocalypse ♪
Is one worth destroying ♪
Well, that was a mouthful ♪
So many syllables ♪
If we can stuff all that
In these lyrics ♪
Then we can do anything ♪
Including destroy them! ♪
(distant police sirens wailing)
-(giggling)
-We did it!
(helicopter flying overhead)
HELEN:
And just in time too.
(all sigh)
(car horn honks)
Wah, wah ♪
-(honking horn rhythmically)
-Wah, wah ♪
He's so lonely.
Boo-hoo ♪
Oh, jeez.
(beatboxing)
They all are.
(wailing)
(all crooning)
This is the saddest thing
I've ever seen.
This is wrong.
We got to reunite them.
What? No. Are you insane?
But you were crying.
Uh, I think I'll get over it.
Those pigeons
are the worst.
(groans)
Got to get back on top.
(gasps)
Helen! Please!
I have an idea!
If you do it
I'll give you this candy.
Okay.
(high-pitched howl)
(pigeons crooning)
Wah-wah ♪
Wah-wah, wah-wah ♪
Wah-wah ♪
Wah ♪
(all singing angelically)
-(dance music blaring)
-(all cheer)
This idea better be
really good.
-Oh, it's reality good.
-What?
ANNOUNCER: Fox Hole Productions
proudly presents,
the newest hit show from
visionary producer Roy Fox.
It's The 5 Jerks.
If you thought you hated them
in real life,
you're gonna love them
in their new reality show.
BOTH:
Whoo! Yeah!
So at first I was thinking
I was more of a Nice Guy,
but now I think
I'm more of a Mystery Lad.
safely sealed off
from the outside world
in their own deluxe mansion.
(beatboxing)
Oh, we're not annoying ♪
No, we are not annoying
On TV ♪
(explosion)
BOTH: (stammering)
How do they--
BARRY:
Oh, I don't know.
ANNOUNCER: Brought to you
by Delfman's Dry Bread:
Want moisture?
Go jump in a lake.
We're freaking bread!
Toast, toast ♪
I've made some
Extra burnt toast ♪
I should have
Watched the toaster ♪
Instead of writing a song ♪
(giggles)
Mm.
(coughs)
You know what
this special food needs?
A little sippy of OJ.
Hey, who drank all the juice
and just left
an empty container?
BERYL: Hmm, if I had to guess?
A certain pal of Kiff's,
has two big bunny ears,
rhymes with "shmerry."
Who? Barry?
I know you're not talking
about my boy Barry
behind his back right now.
Sweetie, we love Barry.
It's just, well,
that bunny loves his juice.
My juice.
(grunts)
Kiff, the next time
you have Barry over,
just ask him not to finish
all of our orange juice, okay?
What? I do that?
I'm in charge
of telling him that?
You can handle it.
Oh, look! Our neighbor
got a new garden gnome.
-What?
-Wait!
What exactly do I say to Barry?
Is he trying
to out-gnome us?
I never agreed to this!
(Barry laughing)
Okay, so I says
to Miss Deer Teacher:
Pop quiz?
How about some popcorn?
(laughs)
We got to keep
this laugh train going.
Want to come over?
You know I do.
Mm. Oh.
(smacks lips)
Hmm, I'm suddenly
a little thirsty.
Wait, I feel like there was
something I was supposed to do.
Yup, a cold glass
of something fruity
sure sounds good.
Oh, what drink
am I thinking of, though?
Made out of fruit--
No, no, no.
Hang on, I was trying
to remember something first.
Oh, well,
probably wasn't important.
Oh! Orange juice!
Man, that was driving me crazy.
(Barry laughs)
I was like,
"Come on, brain!"
-(laughs)
-Hey, Barry.
I've got to talk to you
about something
before we get
to my house.
Ooh, fun. Lay it on me.
-Uh
-Hey, Billiam.
I've got to talk to you
about something.
It's no big deal,
but my dad said
you need to start taking
your muddy shoes off
before you come
into our house.
What? Are you serious?
(groans)
Mud?
Our friendship
is forever blemished!
BARRY:
Yoo-hoo!
What did you have
to talk to me about?
KIFF:
Oh, Barry. I can't do this.
He's just a delicate
little flower.
(both sobbing)
You're perfect.
Don't change a thing.
Oh! Oh, thank you for saying.
Oh, I regret everything!
(both sobbing)
(lawn mower whirring)
(lips smacking)
You know what
we never do anymore?
Hide-and-seek.
I'll hide.
You stay right here
with your eyes closed
and count to the highest number
you can think of.
-Okay, go.
-One, two
This is tough.
Whew! We have a whole fresh jug.
Even on his thirstiest days,
Barry never finishes
a whole jug.
Now I can put off
the awkward convo.
-Found you!
-Ah!
Barry! What happened,
uh, to the counting?
Oh, it's such a gorgeous day.
I couldn't think past 12.
Ooh! OJ.
May I?
Go for it, Bar.
Have a glass.
One should be enough, right?
We're just kids, after all,
with kid stomachs.
Beautifully put.
Wait, this feels kind of rude.
Drinking your family's juice
like this.
It it does?
So you're aware?
Kiff, it's glaringly obvious.
You should be having
a glass with me!
Oh. Uh, no.
I don't need to waste--
Uh, taste any juice.
I insist.
-Say when.
-When!
Now, Barry, please drink
your one glass of juice
so we can move on
and both stop thinking about it.
Alrighty. Here I go.
Whoops.
Juice fingers.
These things happen, right?
Take two!
Jug's, uh, mostly full.
I've just got to make sure Barry
actually drinks it this time.
Uh, what you doing
over there, Bar?
-(lawn mower whirring)
-That cool ponytail guy out there
is just mowing the lawn
in the hot sun.
-Doesn't he look thirsty?
-Who, the Pone?
(gasps)
Nah, he's always sweating
and wiping his forehead
and smacking his lips--
-Excuse me!
-Barry, no!
The Pone? Would you care
for a refreshing glass of juice?
Uh, you don't want
our sour old juice.
(laughs nervously)
How about a delicious cup
of room-temp water
from the pitcher my mom
keeps out on the counter?
Someone say
sour old juice?
That's the Pone's favorite.
-Load me up.
-Here you go, my man.
Courtesy of your neighbors,
the Chatterleys.
Hey, these things happen.
I just did the same thing.
(laughing)
How about that?
(both laugh)
(giggling)
(all laughing)
-These things happen!
-These things happen!
(both laugh)
(both scream)
-(sighs)
-What was wrong with those?
Oh, it's bad luck
to drink an over-poured glass.
I'm superstitious.
(laughs)
(screams)
(flies buzzing)
Let's pour one out for those
who have to go without juice.
What?
Protecting that jug of juice
is hard work.
(sighs)
Oh, no!
What an afternoon
we're having.
But this'll definitely
be the last glass.
-Ah!
-We forgot the glass.
Ugh, this is a disaster.
Kiff, cheer up.
Juice grows on trees.
-Well, fruit, anyway.
-(car approaching)
My mom's already home from work.
That means it's dinnertime.
It's the third Thursday
of the month: BLT night!
Dad's definitely gonna want
a glass of OJ with his BLT.
And when he finds the empty jug,
they'll know I didn't have
the talk with Barry.
(birds tweeting)
(doorknob jiggling)
Barry, go stall--
I mean, greet my parents
at the door!
Okay.
(panting)
Hi! Welcome home.
I hope you party people
are ready for BLT night.
Yeah!
(gasps)
Nice and full.
Hey, I thought we drank
all the--
(coughs)
I could get used to this.
(whispering)
Thank you.
-What the?
-Juice settles, hon.
It probably
just needs a shake.
(liquid sloshes)
More, Dad.
Shake it more.
(liquid sloshing)
How long am I supposed
to keep shaking?
Uh, nothing crazy.
Just until Barry and I
are away at college.
MARTIN:
That's it.
I'm going down
to that con artist
of a grocery store
and giving them
a piece of my mind.
Come on, everybody.
Toss your BLTs.
We won't be eating dinner
tonight.
-Yeah!
-This is way more important.
Wait!
Uh, Dad, a quick word?
Barry drank
all the juice again.
Oh, man.
But your mother said--
I couldn't do it,
all right?
I couldn't tell him not to.
Look at that delicate face.
As a kid, I had a part-time job
at a grocery store,
and let me tell you, Barry,
you would not believe
Oh, my gosh, you're right.
Barry can't take
that kind of criticism.
He'd wilt like
the delicate flower he is.
And what if it shamed him
out of never coming over again?
You were right
to not tell him, Kiff.
Don't worry,
I got your back.
You know,
they water down the juice
and then they hike up
the prices.
It is not right, Beryl.
It is not right.
MARTIN:
On second thought,
even grocery stores
make mistakes.
Let's forget about it
and enjoy some of Beryl's
room-temp pitcher water.
You hate my room-temp
pitcher water.
I'm guessing Kiff
didn't get a chance
to talk to you, Barry.
What about?
Well
in the future,
when you come over
-No!
-No!
can you not drink
so much juice?
Oh.
Oh, I see.
Sure thing, Beryl!
Thanks for being so direct.
I love you.
But-but Barry, I--
I thought you'd be upset.
I tried so many ways
to get out of telling you today,
because I was worried
it might make you feel weird,
or make you feel bad.
I love it when people
tell it to me like it is.
The truth sets you free, baby.
Oh, Barry, you're not
a delicate flower at all.
You're a mighty tree.
You inspire me.
Oh! Oh, my gosh!
OJ?
"Orange juice."
I just got that!
Okay.
Here goes.
How bad can BLTs with water be?
Dad, you're so weird
about water.
-Just drink it.
-(doorbell rings)
Oh, thank goodness!
I'll get it!
Top o' the evening to you,
Chatterley crew.
Chat Junior
and her compadre here
were kind enough
to squeeze me a glass
of the old
liquid citrus earlier,
and I was so touched,
I couldn't chill till I returned
with an epic repayment.
I brought you a brand-new
carton of ju--
What? I don't like that guy.
(ending theme)
Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff, Kiff, Kiff
Kiff, Kiff ♪
Kiff ♪
Kiff! ♪
(giggles)
(both laugh)
ANNOUNCER: Brought to you
by Foxhole Productions.
Ooh, don't you collect these?
Eh, I already have
the whole set.
(gasps)
How about these?
Eh, I don't collect
those anymore.
Oh.
Anything?
Eh. Nah.
Heh, look at this.
(chuckling)
Who would buy that?
Trust me,
let sleeping pigeons lie.
Ugh! Can't today.
I'm having a garage sale.
My shows took a dip
in the ratings last month,
so I decided to play it safe
and sell a bunch of junk.
The phone isn't for sale.
(chuckles)
So dumb.
Oh. Find anything?
(laughs)
What?
There's just something about it.
I mean, where did it come from?
Why's he wearing
this little hat?
And what are these?
Loafers?
(gasp) Wait, there's a number 4
on his necklace.
Does that mean
there's more of them?
Is this a part of a set?
Are you asking me?
Because--
To the collectorium!
Oh!
(gasps)
KIFF:
No manufacturer, no date.
(sniffs, gasps)
-Smell that?
-(sniffs)
Oh. Smells like birthday cake.
This was made out of a material
called Hennepin,
which was only produced
between 1908 and 1911.
Barry, we got a lead.
To the library!
(Kiff gasps)
There's five of them, Barry.
Each one,
a personality of their own.
This one must be Mystery Lad.
(giggling)
-Kiff?
-We got to get all five!
(both laughing)
Ooh, we're only missing
number one.
And then the collection
will be complete.
And that's why
I never get distracted.
(cell phone rings)
Hello?
It's my manager!
(gasps)
(gasps)
HELEN: And did they
guarantee me a trailer?
I have
(gasps)
Barry! It's number one!
We got them all!
What now?
This is it.
This is collecting.
(thunder crashing)
I can play 16.
(explosions)
Oh, no. Mom, I'll call you back.
(gasps)
(both whimpering)
-(electricity crackles)
-(gasps)
Thank you for freeing us ♪
Thank you for freeing us
Thanks ♪
-(all laugh)
-(dance music blares)
(excited chatter)
(laughing)
-(air horn blows)
-Whoo-hoo!
You fools.
You've brought back
the Five Pigeons
of the Acapella-pocalypse.
The what?
(dance music blaring)
(screaming)
(screaming)
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
(snickering)
(laughing)
Whoa!
-(music stops)
-Excuse me.
No, wait.
What is all of this about?
(dance music blaring)
(laughing)
Help!
We got to help him!
(all laughing)
Hey, hey, hey!
(music stops)
(scatting)
We flip the tables ♪
Oh, we flip the tables
So good ♪
-Ha-ha!
-(screams)
(dance music blaring)
(all screaming)
(strumming)
(police sirens
blaring distantly)
(Helen groans)
Helen, wait.
(whimpering)
What is going on?
Those five pigeons
are ancient
cosmic crumb bags
from an unknown time.
My great-great-great-
grandmother
helped curse them
into toy form.
They were then scattered
to the far corners of Table Town
for good reason.
KIFF: Then why would they
put out an ad for them?
It's not an ad.
It's a PSA seeking
five secure locations
to keep these cursed toys
separate.
See? There's my
great-great-great granny.
The only way
to reverse the curse
is to separate the pigeons
before sunset.
Simple enough.
Come on.
Let's go separate them.
Are you nuts? No.
The pigeons
are way too powerful.
-You're stealing a car?
-What? No, this is my car.
Bye.
Why couldn't I leave
that pigeon toy alone?
Why did I need
to collect them all?
There's got to be something
we can do.
(Kiff gasps)
I have an idea.
(distant screams)
(moaning)
We are the ghost of your
great-great-great-grandmother.
We command you to help us
stop the pigeons.
You're not the ghost of my
great-great-great-grandmother.
How do you know?
Because she's over there.
-Hello.
-(both scream)
The five pigeons are back?
Helen, why aren't you
helping these two?
Your mom and gran
and great-great-gran
would be ashamed of you.
The daddies too.
Okay, okay.
I guess I am
kind of the chosen one.
(snaps fingers)
Let's separate those pigeons.
Yeah!
-(distant police sirens)
-This is good.
They're tired.
Let's go.
(giggling)
(exclaims and laughs)
If something
That seems hard to do ♪
We got a shot
If it's one plus two ♪
It's a team-up ♪
Oh, yeah ♪
The fate of the world
Is on the line ♪
Combine our skills ♪
As we align ♪
We'll split 'em up ♪
All right ♪
Because these birds
Are the worst ♪
They're so annoying ♪
The Five Pigeons
Of the Acapella-pocalypse ♪
Is one worth destroying ♪
Well, that was a mouthful ♪
So many syllables ♪
If we can stuff all that
In these lyrics ♪
Then we can do anything ♪
Including destroy them! ♪
(distant police sirens wailing)
-(giggling)
-We did it!
(helicopter flying overhead)
HELEN:
And just in time too.
(all sigh)
(car horn honks)
Wah, wah ♪
-(honking horn rhythmically)
-Wah, wah ♪
He's so lonely.
Boo-hoo ♪
Oh, jeez.
(beatboxing)
They all are.
(wailing)
(all crooning)
This is the saddest thing
I've ever seen.
This is wrong.
We got to reunite them.
What? No. Are you insane?
But you were crying.
Uh, I think I'll get over it.
Those pigeons
are the worst.
(groans)
Got to get back on top.
(gasps)
Helen! Please!
I have an idea!
If you do it
I'll give you this candy.
Okay.
(high-pitched howl)
(pigeons crooning)
Wah-wah ♪
Wah-wah, wah-wah ♪
Wah-wah ♪
Wah ♪
(all singing angelically)
-(dance music blaring)
-(all cheer)
This idea better be
really good.
-Oh, it's reality good.
-What?
ANNOUNCER: Fox Hole Productions
proudly presents,
the newest hit show from
visionary producer Roy Fox.
It's The 5 Jerks.
If you thought you hated them
in real life,
you're gonna love them
in their new reality show.
BOTH:
Whoo! Yeah!
So at first I was thinking
I was more of a Nice Guy,
but now I think
I'm more of a Mystery Lad.
safely sealed off
from the outside world
in their own deluxe mansion.
(beatboxing)
Oh, we're not annoying ♪
No, we are not annoying
On TV ♪
(explosion)
BOTH: (stammering)
How do they--
BARRY:
Oh, I don't know.
ANNOUNCER: Brought to you
by Delfman's Dry Bread:
Want moisture?
Go jump in a lake.
We're freaking bread!
Toast, toast ♪
I've made some
Extra burnt toast ♪
I should have
Watched the toaster ♪
Instead of writing a song ♪
(giggles)
Mm.
(coughs)
You know what
this special food needs?
A little sippy of OJ.
Hey, who drank all the juice
and just left
an empty container?
BERYL: Hmm, if I had to guess?
A certain pal of Kiff's,
has two big bunny ears,
rhymes with "shmerry."
Who? Barry?
I know you're not talking
about my boy Barry
behind his back right now.
Sweetie, we love Barry.
It's just, well,
that bunny loves his juice.
My juice.
(grunts)
Kiff, the next time
you have Barry over,
just ask him not to finish
all of our orange juice, okay?
What? I do that?
I'm in charge
of telling him that?
You can handle it.
Oh, look! Our neighbor
got a new garden gnome.
-What?
-Wait!
What exactly do I say to Barry?
Is he trying
to out-gnome us?
I never agreed to this!
(Barry laughing)
Okay, so I says
to Miss Deer Teacher:
Pop quiz?
How about some popcorn?
(laughs)
We got to keep
this laugh train going.
Want to come over?
You know I do.
Mm. Oh.
(smacks lips)
Hmm, I'm suddenly
a little thirsty.
Wait, I feel like there was
something I was supposed to do.
Yup, a cold glass
of something fruity
sure sounds good.
Oh, what drink
am I thinking of, though?
Made out of fruit--
No, no, no.
Hang on, I was trying
to remember something first.
Oh, well,
probably wasn't important.
Oh! Orange juice!
Man, that was driving me crazy.
(Barry laughs)
I was like,
"Come on, brain!"
-(laughs)
-Hey, Barry.
I've got to talk to you
about something
before we get
to my house.
Ooh, fun. Lay it on me.
-Uh
-Hey, Billiam.
I've got to talk to you
about something.
It's no big deal,
but my dad said
you need to start taking
your muddy shoes off
before you come
into our house.
What? Are you serious?
(groans)
Mud?
Our friendship
is forever blemished!
BARRY:
Yoo-hoo!
What did you have
to talk to me about?
KIFF:
Oh, Barry. I can't do this.
He's just a delicate
little flower.
(both sobbing)
You're perfect.
Don't change a thing.
Oh! Oh, thank you for saying.
Oh, I regret everything!
(both sobbing)
(lawn mower whirring)
(lips smacking)
You know what
we never do anymore?
Hide-and-seek.
I'll hide.
You stay right here
with your eyes closed
and count to the highest number
you can think of.
-Okay, go.
-One, two
This is tough.
Whew! We have a whole fresh jug.
Even on his thirstiest days,
Barry never finishes
a whole jug.
Now I can put off
the awkward convo.
-Found you!
-Ah!
Barry! What happened,
uh, to the counting?
Oh, it's such a gorgeous day.
I couldn't think past 12.
Ooh! OJ.
May I?
Go for it, Bar.
Have a glass.
One should be enough, right?
We're just kids, after all,
with kid stomachs.
Beautifully put.
Wait, this feels kind of rude.
Drinking your family's juice
like this.
It it does?
So you're aware?
Kiff, it's glaringly obvious.
You should be having
a glass with me!
Oh. Uh, no.
I don't need to waste--
Uh, taste any juice.
I insist.
-Say when.
-When!
Now, Barry, please drink
your one glass of juice
so we can move on
and both stop thinking about it.
Alrighty. Here I go.
Whoops.
Juice fingers.
These things happen, right?
Take two!
Jug's, uh, mostly full.
I've just got to make sure Barry
actually drinks it this time.
Uh, what you doing
over there, Bar?
-(lawn mower whirring)
-That cool ponytail guy out there
is just mowing the lawn
in the hot sun.
-Doesn't he look thirsty?
-Who, the Pone?
(gasps)
Nah, he's always sweating
and wiping his forehead
and smacking his lips--
-Excuse me!
-Barry, no!
The Pone? Would you care
for a refreshing glass of juice?
Uh, you don't want
our sour old juice.
(laughs nervously)
How about a delicious cup
of room-temp water
from the pitcher my mom
keeps out on the counter?
Someone say
sour old juice?
That's the Pone's favorite.
-Load me up.
-Here you go, my man.
Courtesy of your neighbors,
the Chatterleys.
Hey, these things happen.
I just did the same thing.
(laughing)
How about that?
(both laugh)
(giggling)
(all laughing)
-These things happen!
-These things happen!
(both laugh)
(both scream)
-(sighs)
-What was wrong with those?
Oh, it's bad luck
to drink an over-poured glass.
I'm superstitious.
(laughs)
(screams)
(flies buzzing)
Let's pour one out for those
who have to go without juice.
What?
Protecting that jug of juice
is hard work.
(sighs)
Oh, no!
What an afternoon
we're having.
But this'll definitely
be the last glass.
-Ah!
-We forgot the glass.
Ugh, this is a disaster.
Kiff, cheer up.
Juice grows on trees.
-Well, fruit, anyway.
-(car approaching)
My mom's already home from work.
That means it's dinnertime.
It's the third Thursday
of the month: BLT night!
Dad's definitely gonna want
a glass of OJ with his BLT.
And when he finds the empty jug,
they'll know I didn't have
the talk with Barry.
(birds tweeting)
(doorknob jiggling)
Barry, go stall--
I mean, greet my parents
at the door!
Okay.
(panting)
Hi! Welcome home.
I hope you party people
are ready for BLT night.
Yeah!
(gasps)
Nice and full.
Hey, I thought we drank
all the--
(coughs)
I could get used to this.
(whispering)
Thank you.
-What the?
-Juice settles, hon.
It probably
just needs a shake.
(liquid sloshes)
More, Dad.
Shake it more.
(liquid sloshing)
How long am I supposed
to keep shaking?
Uh, nothing crazy.
Just until Barry and I
are away at college.
MARTIN:
That's it.
I'm going down
to that con artist
of a grocery store
and giving them
a piece of my mind.
Come on, everybody.
Toss your BLTs.
We won't be eating dinner
tonight.
-Yeah!
-This is way more important.
Wait!
Uh, Dad, a quick word?
Barry drank
all the juice again.
Oh, man.
But your mother said--
I couldn't do it,
all right?
I couldn't tell him not to.
Look at that delicate face.
As a kid, I had a part-time job
at a grocery store,
and let me tell you, Barry,
you would not believe
Oh, my gosh, you're right.
Barry can't take
that kind of criticism.
He'd wilt like
the delicate flower he is.
And what if it shamed him
out of never coming over again?
You were right
to not tell him, Kiff.
Don't worry,
I got your back.
You know,
they water down the juice
and then they hike up
the prices.
It is not right, Beryl.
It is not right.
MARTIN:
On second thought,
even grocery stores
make mistakes.
Let's forget about it
and enjoy some of Beryl's
room-temp pitcher water.
You hate my room-temp
pitcher water.
I'm guessing Kiff
didn't get a chance
to talk to you, Barry.
What about?
Well
in the future,
when you come over
-No!
-No!
can you not drink
so much juice?
Oh.
Oh, I see.
Sure thing, Beryl!
Thanks for being so direct.
I love you.
But-but Barry, I--
I thought you'd be upset.
I tried so many ways
to get out of telling you today,
because I was worried
it might make you feel weird,
or make you feel bad.
I love it when people
tell it to me like it is.
The truth sets you free, baby.
Oh, Barry, you're not
a delicate flower at all.
You're a mighty tree.
You inspire me.
Oh! Oh, my gosh!
OJ?
"Orange juice."
I just got that!
Okay.
Here goes.
How bad can BLTs with water be?
Dad, you're so weird
about water.
-Just drink it.
-(doorbell rings)
Oh, thank goodness!
I'll get it!
Top o' the evening to you,
Chatterley crew.
Chat Junior
and her compadre here
were kind enough
to squeeze me a glass
of the old
liquid citrus earlier,
and I was so touched,
I couldn't chill till I returned
with an epic repayment.
I brought you a brand-new
carton of ju--
What? I don't like that guy.
(ending theme)