Knight Squad (2018) s01e06 Episode Script

Tonight, Two Knight

1 Okay, when Sir Gareth asked for two volunteers, I thought we'd be fighting dragons, not scraping gum.
I would totally ban the Bubblegum Festival, if it wasn't so delicious.
Ohhh this one has a tooth in it.
You know you're scraping it all wrong.
There's no wrong way to scrape gum.
Please! A monkey could scrape better than you.
Hey! Some monkey quit this job.
That's why we're here.
Just watch what I do and try to be half as good.
Are we about to get into a scrape off? I started two seconds ago.
Princess? Oh, no, my dad.
Time out.
There's no time outs in a scrape off.
Well, good luck winning without your ladder.
What are you? Princess, where are you? Hey, Dad! What's up? [laughing] Fantastic news.
The Wolf Platoon is returning from the battle against Ryker's evil forces, which means My sister is coming to visit! BOTH: Yay! Why are they returning? Did they find the Armor of Astoria? We don't know.
They just said they have news to deliver in person.
I can't wait.
It's been a year since I've seen Eliza.
I miss her so much.
I haven't had anyone to talk to about princess stuff.
But I can talk princess all day.
OMG, your tiara is fire! [snaps fingers] Aw, that's so cute when you try to be a teenaged girl.
So, what are your plans for Eliza's reception? Uh Oh, my goblin, you didn't plan anything? We have to get started.
Hello? You forgot me.
Fine.
I can win the scrape off one handed.
[grunts] Oh! Ahhh! [heavy thud] [groans] [monkey laughing] Stop laughing at me, monkey.
[magic whooshing] What are they doing? Hm, they're practicing for the Tasty Trunk Pixie Pong Tournament.
I know I fell in a gum bucket earlier, but do they know they're playing without a ball? Yeah, I don't ask questions I don't wanna know the answer to.
Sage and Buttercup always beat me because I had the wrong partner.
I lost three years in a row four, if you wanna count past three.
But now he has a secret weapon.
Fizz is skipping the Shark Jousting Festival so he can be my partner.
Is that sharks riding horses or knights riding sharks? Both! [laughing] This is my last chance to win the Pixie Pong Tournament before I'm too old to enter.
Which means this is my last chance to beat you.
Oh, do you remember last year when I made you cry? It was allergy season.
[giggling] My allergies make me sneeze.
[giggling] But I call them nose farts.
Students, as you may have heard, Wolf Platoon is returning from battling Ryker's army.
STUDENTS: Yeah! But you still have class today.
I thought you'd just like to know.
Did you hear that? My sister's coming home.
She's my hero and the whole reason I wanna become a knight.
She sounds awesome unlike you.
What dragon flew up your butt? You never came back.
I fell in your gum bucket and swallowed my gum, and somebody else's gum.
Okay, so, I forgot.
You didn't forget.
You knew I was gonna beat you.
[laughing] In your dreams.
In my dreams, I'm a Yeti who plays professional basketball.
You'd probably lose at that, too.
[gong rings] What is that? That is my get-along gong not to be confused with my you-done-me-wrong gong.
That one has more of a of a country music twang.
Now a little competition is healthy.
But it cannot get in the way of your friendship.
[laughing] See? You're confused.
We're not friends.
Yeah.
We're just two people who have the same color shoulder thingies.
- They're called pauldrons.
- You're a pauldron! Uh! Stop it! Look, squad mates must be friends, otherwise, how can you have each other's backs in battle, hm? Fizz, release the magical friendship bracelets.
A "please" would be nice.
Uh, "please" don't make me fire you.
- Hey! Let go of me! - You let go of me! [laughing] Those bracelets will keep you bound together until you two can learn how to become friends.
What if that never happens? Well, then, you'll be stuck together forever like like Jack and Kira.
You stand your ground, Kira! Don't let her push you around, Jack! Oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Hey! Oh oh oh oh oh Oh oh oh oh Oh oh Hey! Oh, we will be heroes We are the Knight Squad Hey! [footsteps thumping] I cannot believe Sir Gareth thinks we need these stupid friendship bracelets.
This is the worst thing ever.
But, at least I can do this.
Oh! [heavy thud] I wanted to flip just then.
Guys, just friend up.
It's not that hard.
Watch.
Hey, Prudy, wanna come see me win the Pixie Pong Tournament? I've love to! BOTH: Friendship! Or Prudy could use her giant strength to pull these bracelets apart.
Yeah, that does seem a lot easier than trying to teach you two a lesson.
[roaring] [electrical zapping] Ah! Ow! That's strong magic.
If it's magic, make way for the Magic Man.
Releasio, ropey, rope! [magic whooshing] Why did I wear a rope belt today? Well, I guess you guys will just have to stop competing and become friends.
Have fun.
[laughing] Of all the times to get us stuck together, why did you have to do it on the day my sister's coming back? You're the one that left me hanging in the air.
.
I'm not missing my sister's reception.
All right, well, everyone will know your secret if you show up with me.
Oh, I'm not showing up with you.
I'm showing up with Gertrude.
This totally isn't gonna work.
Of course, it will.
I'll just introduce you as my duchess friend from curtsey camp.
Oooh, I'm gonna be a duchess! I mean, I hate this.
Na na na na Na na na na na na - [whistle shrills] - Ha! Ha! Ladies and gentle gnomes, elves of all ages, welcome to the Tasty Trunk Pixie Pong Tournament! ALL: [cheering, applauding] Now, teams, I want a clean competition.
Why is everyone looking at me? Oh, Sage, you've got your cheating device.
[giggling] All right, everyone warm up, and we will begin in ten minutes.
[whistle shrills] Okay, let's see if our pixie's ready to play.
[giggling] It's on like pixie pong.
My friend Warwick! Woo! PIXIE: Whee! Ooh! Oops! I I must have hit a cricket.
Now let's try another one.
PIXIE: Whee! - FIZZ: [grunts] - [paddle thuds] [glass shatters] Man, this game's a lot harder when you add a pixie.
Wait, you've never played with a ball before? I've tried it once, but I'm a lot better without one.
Ahem.
Saw your brother break a window.
Guess terrible runs in your family.
[giggling] Terrible running runs in my family.
[giggling] That's why we skip.
[giggling] Buttercup, we don't skip.
We strut! I just wanted to beat Sage once.
Don't listen to her.
You still have a shot.
Yeah, I'm just gonna have to bring my A-game.
Prudy, will you help me warm up? I've never played before, but, sure, I'll give it a try.
All right, get ready for my screwball.
PIXIE: Corkscrew! Woo-hoo! - PRUDENCE: [grunts] - PIXIE: Look out! That was amazing! Prudy, you're the best player I've ever seen and I've seen me.
- Really? You think so? - Yeah.
If someone had you on their team, they would totally win.
Ahhh especially if their partner cancelled because they had better plans.
Double huh.
You seem like you're gonna work this out with the wall, so, uh, I'll be over here.
[laughs] Exevalo, plucky plucky! [magic whooshing] Bro, I glued the paddle to my hand, so it won't fly away.
Uh-oh.
Now they're both stuck, aren't they? I can make this work.
Listen, I appreciate you wanting to help me win, but I have something I think you'll want even more a ticket to the Shark Jousting Festival.
No way! But, wait, you can't play without a partner.
The important thing is you go see a shark poke another shark with a pointy stick.
Open up.
[muffled] Thank you.
Guess what? Fizz decided to go to the Shark Jousting Festival and I need a new partner.
Ooh, I'd love to play with you.
Let me just finish my fries.
[chomping] Mmmm.
Sorry.
Did you want one? Oh, na na, na na Yeah yeah yeah Princess.
Ah, I didn't know you had a friend in town.
Father, this is Gertrude, the Duchess of Doofus.
Your Ma [clears throat, high-pitch] Majesty! Sorry, I've got a touch of the plague.
A pleasure to meet you, Gertrude.
Oh, um in Doofus, we don't shake, we politely giggle.
Ha.
Ha.
Ha.
Ha.
Yeah, well, I'm just glad my daughter has someone to talk princess with even though I'm fluent.
JK, LOL, hashtag princess goals.
[royal fanfare] The knights are arriving.
I can't wait to see my sister.
ALL: [cheering, applauding] Which one's your sister the frowny one or the angry one? I don't see her.
Your Majesty.
May we speak in private? Princess, can you give us a minute? Certainly, Father.
You can have all the time that you need.
If this is about the chocolate fountain, I wanted it big enough to swim in, but not so big someone wants to join.
Something's wrong.
I need to find out what it is.
Uh, no, Your Majesty.
I'm afraid I have some bad news.
Princess Eliza is missing.
What? My sister's missing? Is that what he said? This wig is blocking my ears.
My daughter is missing? She disappeared.
All she left behind was this scroll.
"I'm not cut out for battle, so I'm going far away.
Please don't follow me.
Eliza.
" Oh, this can't be her.
Uh, the "I" in Eliza is dotted with a heart.
Egads, it is her! tell them Eliza insisted on staying on the battlefield.
A wise decision, Your Majesty.
Eliza is the princess' hero.
If she sees this scroll, it will break her heart.
We'll lock it in the castle vault.
Another equally wise decision, Your Majesty.
Look, I know you're just flattering me.
But it feels good in my time of need! [cape whooshing] This is too much.
I can't be here right now.
[high-pitched] Hold on! I can't run in heels! Ha! Ha! It all comes down to this.
Team Wick is one point away from advancing to the finals against Sage and Buttercup, who is licking her paddle? This lollipop tastes weird.
[giggling] All right, Prudy, let's hit them with the flasher smash.
PIXIE: Whee! Yahoo! Nice shot! Jiminy! Jiminy! All right, enough flash.
Time for the smash.
[grunting] - PIXIE: Whoa! - [objects clattering] - [whistle shrills] - Point! Team Wick advances to the finals.
- BOTH: Yes! - CROWD: [applauding] Just remember second place is first loser.
Paddle me, Buttercup.
Don't listen to them.
With your giant strength and my awesomeness we're definitely gonna win.
I just need to refill my water bottle.
Well, a giant's gotta hydrate.
- Hey, bro.
- Fizz? Uh, what are you doing here? You're missing the Shark Joust.
I remembered it's your last year to win, so, I came back to help you.
You didn't have to do that.
You really, really, really didn't have to do that.
Fizz, you're back.
Just in time to see me and Warwick win.
Oh.
So, you replaced me? See see, what happened was I know what happened.
I chose sharks over family.
You had no choice.
Yeah, let's go with that.
I'm gonna stand over there and cheer you on to victory! Oh, man, I wish I had a little brother like that.
Mine's 30 feet tall.
You're so lucky you have a magic ring to change your clothes.
It took me 20 minutes to get out of that girdle.
How could my sister do this? She's the bravest person I know.
Braver than me? Not the time.
She vowed to find the Armor of Astoria and then she quit? It's like I don't even know who she is.
Well, you know, who knows? Maybe Eliza has some secrets even you don't know about.
Secret? That's it.
I need to look at that scroll.
We're gonna sneak into the vault.
I just got out of a dress.
There's absolutely no way I'm going to that vault with you.
Ow! Ow! Ow! Unless you drag me by my ear.
Okay, the scroll's on the other side of the room.
So, be careful.
This is the most dangerous room in the castle.
Please, I can just walk over there and - [blade whooshing] - die! I can walk over there and die! [blade whooshing] Hey hey hey Okay, we're not gonna make it past this.
[blade whooshing] So, grab my ear and drag me home.
We're getting that scroll.
Shouldn't we discuss other options, like the [blade whooshing] How's that for an option? Okay.
Well, at least the worst is behind us.
Actually, it's in front of us.
[beams zapping] What are those? Motion-activated crystal death beams.
Duh! Any chance the death beams only work on plates? Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh Oh The finals of the Tasty Trunk Pixie Pong Tournament are not for the weak of heart.
Fortunately, my original heart is in a cage guarded by elves.
Ready to take it home? Yeah.
Home.
Dude! You have to want this! Sorry.
It turns out I love sports.
Why are you acting weird? I tricked Fizz into leaving because I knew you would help me win the tournament.
Wow.
But then he came back to support you.
Oh, he's so awesome, and you, well you have a nice haircut.
You can say it.
I'm a horrible person.
Prudy, I'm sorry, but I need to take Fizz back as my partner even if it means losing.
I am proud of you.
You have a giant heart for a normal- sized person.
What's up? Don't you have a game to win? I do, but I need my secret weapon.
Wanna play this final match with me? Does a shark poop in the woods? No.
But I still want you to play with me.
Sir Gareth, I'm swapping out Prudy for Fizz.
You're changing partners? Let me consult the Pixie Pong rulebook.
I can't I can't read that tiny book, so, sure.
You're playing with Fizz? Oh, prepare to get served, and I mean that in the way dancers mean it when they dance-fight! Right, Butter cup? Oh, she left.
I gave her my Shark Jousting ticket.
What? But this is a doubles match.
I need a partner.
Wait, if Sage doesn't have a partner, does that mean we win by default? Well, I thought the rulebook was a cracker, so, I ate it.
So, I'm going to say the Wick brothers are the winners! Yes! ALL: [cheering, applauding] We did it.
[chuckling] Oh, no, my allergies are back.
I've got 'em, too.
Oh na na Na na Yeah yeah yeah Okay, I have an idea.
[beams zapping] If you hate money, just give it to me.
No, look, some of the coins didn't get blasted.
So, those are the safe spots.
Yep.
That's the only way across.
Well it's the only way across for me.
I don't know if you can keep up.
Oh, I can keep up.
Can you keep up? Are we about to have a motion-activated crystal death beam off? - You're on! - [beams zapping] BOTH: Whoa.
That was close.
I think I just got why Sir Gareth put these on us.
Yeah, we need to stop competing and have each other's back.
Okay.
Let's do this.
[dramatic music] We did it! Oh, your hair's a little on fire.
So is yours.
Okay, time to read the scroll.
It's exactly what the king said.
I'm hoping that's not all.
I'm checking for secret messages.
Eliza and I used to do this all the time when we were little.
ARC: Oh.
"Dear sister, I've located the Armor of Astoria and have gone to retrieve it.
" No way.
"Ryker has spies everywhere "so I couldn't tell anyone but you.
Love Eliza.
" Your sister's not a deserter, she's a hero.
My sister's killing it because she's awesome! I'll take your word for it 'Cause I don't know her Thanks for helping.
I know you'd do the same for me.
[magic whooshing] Seriously, bracelets? You couldn't have come off before I flipped through crystal death beams? So, I guess we were becoming real friends.
Oh.
I guess we did.
I'll never let competition get in the way of our friendship ever again.
Either will I.
I said it, first.
Are we about to have a friend off? You'd better hope not, 'cause I will destroy you at friending.
[magic whooshing] Just kidding, bracelets! Go! [dramatic music]