Knight Squad (2018) s02e03 Episode Script

Mid-Knight in the Garden of Good and Evil

1 - [COMBAT YELLING] - Squad.
Squad! Listen up before you hurt each other! [GRUNTS] [LAUGHS] Sorry, all I heard was, "Hurt each other.
" [CHUCKLES] I have a very special quest for you.
This week, you must retrieve an ancient medallion from the hidden garden of gnomes.
Medallions are great.
And these really make our eyes pop.
I wish my eyes would pop so I don't have to see that anymore.
Now, this medallion has the power to turn people into stone garden gnomes.
Cute, but scary.
Aww, cute but scary, just like my Sage.
I was going for terrifying, but I'll take it.
But the real lesson is learning how to work with each other, so I'm forming two groups.
Kripan, Lucky, you will be with Unicorn Squad.
Sage, Buttercup, you will be with - Wolverine Squad.
- Wolverine Squad.
I meant Phoenix Squad.
We can't work with them! And we don't wanna work with them! Oh, see? You're already on the same page.
Please don't put Sage in our group.
She's always trying to sabotage us, she's How can I put this nicely? A Meanie McMeaniepants! I'm so sorry for cursing.
Well, a wise knight once said, "Working with your rivals is the key to survival.
" And that wise knight was me.
Hmmm, I read that in a fortune cookie once.
Couldn't just let me have it, could you? Now, the point is whoever refuses to work with each other will spend the day in my detention cave.
[MAGIC ZAPPING] Aww, it still has my initials carved in it.
Yes.
You spend so much time in there, I should be charging you rent.
Now get to work.
[MAGIC TINKLING] Okay, I'm in charge now, dumb-dumbs.
We're not dumb-dumbs.
That's not what the backs of your shirts say.
What? "I'm a dumb-dumb.
" Ha! I agree.
I wanted to dangle you off a cliff, but Buttercup stopped me.
I didn't want anyone to get hurt.
So I settled for hurting your feelings instead.
[CRYING] Well, it worked! How are we supposed to survive this quest with Sage? Oh, we could insult each other like Sage would, so when she does, it doesn't hurt our feelings.
- Start with me.
- You walk weird.
- Your bow's too big.
- You have beady eyes.
Too mean! Wait, I have a better plan.
Sage has a really bad attitude, so all she needs is an attitude adjustment.
Oh, I hear ya loud and clear.
Um, no, we give her an attitude adjust-mint.
It's a magical breath spray that changes a person's attitude - to the complete opposite.
- Oh, good idea.
Yeah, my mom tried to use that spray to make me less charming, but, uh she never got me.
You sure about that? Too mean! Na-na-na-na-na, oh I just live for food cart Fridays.
I get to use my dipping sauce crown.
Mmm, bacon ranch.
Oh.
[LAUGHS] Mind if I dip? Sure, if you can reach.
[GRUNTS] Can you just Don't move it.
Come on, arms! [LAUGHS] Never gets old.
Excuse me, Mr.
King, why do we have to wear bike helmets? It's messing up my beautiful hair.
Your hair looks normal.
Huh, says the guy with no hair.
The helmet rule's unfair.
I'm sorry, but as king, it is my job to protect my people, and to delight them with my festive crowns.
Mmm, chipotle mayo.
[GROWLS] So close.
Okay, the crowns are pretty cool, but the rules are not.
I made a list of the worst ones.
"You cannot eat cake with every meal.
" Lame.
"You must brush your teeth twice a day.
" Lamer.
"You can't pick your friend's nose.
" What kind of friend would ask you to pick their nose? One with no fingers and a lot of snot.
[SNORTING, GURGLING] Ew, you need to see a doctor.
[GURGLING] Well, lucky for you, today is the annual "King for a Week" raffle.
If you win, you can change whatever rules you want.
Hmm.
King Fizz.
I like the sound of that.
Let's go, Sir Gareth.
- And you can have some dip.
- GARETH: Ooh.
If you can catch me.
Okay, so when Sage and Buttercup get here to discuss the quest, we make sure Sage eats a bunch of food covered in garlic.
Then I'll offer her the attitude adjustment spray once her breath is good and stankin'.
- Any questions? - ARC: Yes.
What if there's no food left by the time they get here? Oh.
[CHUCKLES] Is this for them? - CIARA: Here they come.
- Alright.
Let's make this quick, I don't want people to see me hanging out with you.
That hurts, but it's not the meanest thing I've heard today.
Anyway, we've located the hidden garden of gnomes.
Well, great, since I am your leader, I will take full credit, where did I find it? - Right here.
- [GASPS] Sage, you did it! Before we go, let's have a snack.
Would you like garlic fries, garlic knots, or garlic dipped in garlic? I know why you're trying to get us to eat all this garlic.
- You do? - Yeah, but despite the rumors, Sage is not a vampire.
[SCOFFS] You sleep upside down in one sleepover and now everybody talks.
Wow! Sage, your breath is good and stankin'.
Yeah, what a coinkydink, I just so happen to have breath spray.
Want some? No, if my breath keeps all of you away, I'm good.
- I'll try some.
- [GASPING] - [SPRAYS] - [MAGIC TINKLING] If the spray was gonna turn Sage nice, do you think it'll turn Buttercup evil? - [YELLS] - [CRASH] Clean-up on aisle Dork.
And that answers my question.
ARC: Do you wanna know a secret? CIARA: I'm a princess, whose father won't let her become a knight.
Please let me go to Knight School, Daddy, please, please! So I use a magic ring and secretly train as Ciara.
Yes! ARC: And I'm Arc, a charming thief who has the same dream.
I'm destined to become a knight.
CIARA: But people from outside the kingdom aren't allowed at Knight School.
ARC: So I'm pretending I belong here.
CIARA: Now, we protect each other's secrets.
ARC: So we can achieve our dream of becoming knights.
We are the Knight Squad, hey! Guys, we turned the nicest girl in school evil.
Watching Buttercup being mean is like seeing a baby bunny punch a unicorn.
Aw, look at Coin dancing.
Ooh, yeah! Yeah! I'm gonna go put that elf through a shelf.
Doesn't she mean "on" a shelf? COIN: [YELPS, SCREAMS] Buttercup! [GRUNTS] Nope, she meant "through".
Do you guys know what's wrong with Buttercup? - No idea.
- Seems fine to me.
Did you do something to your hair? Looks lovely.
Tell me what you did to Buttercup! Well, we had a plan to make you nice so we could work with you on the quest.
But then Buttercup used the magic breath spray instead.
[CHUCKLES] Now back to your hair.
Still lovely.
Stop talking about my amazing hair and fix Buttercup.
Guys, it says here all we have to do is get Buttercup to use the spray again and it'll change her back to normal.
Okay, great, let's do it before someone else gets hurt.
Come back here! I'm not finished with my drum solo! Oh-oh-oh, oh-oh Yeah, hey [CHUCKLES] Hear ye, my fellow Astorians.
His Majesty is about to pick the king for a week.
[CHEERING] We have to make sure we win the contest.
Create a distraction.
[BURPS] Aahh! Mega burp! Everybody take cover! [BURPING CONTINUES] Who wants to be a king?! [CHEERING] I can't hear you! [CHEERING] [LAUGHING] This is so exciting! And just a reminder, the winner is not allowed to bathe in my chocolate fountain.
I will know.
Just pick already! I see someone missed nap time.
And the winner is Fizzwick! - [GROANING] - I won?! I am so surprised.
Bring me the "King for a Week" crown.
I now proclaim you, Fizzwick, king of Astoria.
Don't get comfortable.
Since I'm no longer king, I shall go fishing.
Guards! Just call me Regular Joe Citizen as I hike to the place where fish live.
Loyal subjects, I have one or two new rules.
Brushing your teeth is illegal! [CHEERING] - Helmets are outlawed.
- [CHEERING] Anyone can pick their friend's nose! That's gross.
Oops.
[CHUCKLES] Too far.
Candy is now a vegetable! [CHEERING] A little butter on the ladder never hurt anyone.
[GIGGLES] I'll change that.
There's Buttercup.
We can't let her get away again.
Okay, just remember, bad Buttercup likes to give wedgies.
She was so fast.
Buttercup, we have to talk.
Oh, hey, guys.
Aww, how you feeling, Wedgie-wick? I can taste my underwear.
I don't know where the wedgie starts and my best friend ends.
Buttercup, we made a mistake and in order for us to fix it, you've got to use the breath spray again.
Don't worry, Sage told me everything.
Oh, good, 'cause we all want you to go back to normal.
Not all of us.
Hit it, Buttercup.
[MAGIC WHOOSHING] Sir Gareth's detention cave? Sage, why are you doing this? Hmm, you know, at first, having Buttercup be bad was a little weird, but, now I love it.
It's like having an evil sister.
Ha! Aww, our first Ha together.
After this, you're both Meanie McMeaniepants.
Yeah, I cursed again.
We've decided that we don't wanna work with you.
We're gonna get that gnome medallion.
While all of you fail.
Then we'll just tell Sir Gareth what you did.
And about my wedgie.
Are you going to tell him how you tried to change me? Or how you turned Buttercup evil? That is completely accurate but you make it sound a lot worse than it is.
You know what? Forget the truth.
I'll just use my lucky lockpick to get us out of here.
I'll take that.
And put it right here.
Just out of reach.
[GRUNTS] Buttercup, you monster! Ah, oh-oh-oh Na-na-na Mmm, my dinner cake is delicious.
Yes, Your Majesty, just like your breakfast, lunch and second lunch cakes.
Look, he's obeying my no-helmet rule.
And now he's regretting it, just like those people.
New rule, no crashing.
There, I fixed it.
King Fizz, your candy vegetables made our stomachs - do this - [STOMACHS GROWLING] That's just your stomach saying, "We love you, King Fizz.
" And you told us to pick our friends' noses, and now everybody's sick.
[COUGHING, SNEEZING] Plus, thanks to your toothbrush rule, my teeth fell out.
Those teeth were already gone.
Yeah, but theirs weren't.
We're sick of your rules.
- Get him! - ALL: [SCREAMING] Gareth, protect me, I'm your king, hold them back.
I can't, because you made me replace my sword with a slide whistle.
[WHISTLE BLOWING] - Down with King Fizz! - ALL: [SCREAMING] - There's the medallion.
- We're gonna win this quest.
- Not so fast.
- Let's get that medallion.
ALL: [GRUNTING] - I got it! - Evil happy dance.
We're happy, we're evil We're happy, we're evil How come we never get to happy dance? Because you're losers.
We should turn you all into garden gnomes.
Oh, great idea.
[MAGIC ZAPPING] You weren't supposed to actually do it.
- But you said we should.
- Yeah.
And that's when you tell me I've gone too far and we go get ice cream, that's what we do! It's what we used to do.
I'm bad now.
Get into it.
I was just saying we shouldn't have turned them into stone.
- You're right.
- Oh.
I was worried you'd gone off the deep end We should turn the whole kingdom into stone! And there's the deep end.
If you're not on board with my awesome evil plan, then you can join them.
Buttercup, what are you doing? I'm your best friend.
That's why I'm gonna give you ten seconds to run.
[MAGIC ZAPS] I lied.
[GIGGLES] [MAGIC ZAPPING] [GRUNTS] Almost got it.
Almost there.
You've been saying that for a while.
No, I haven't.
Almost got it.
Almost there - Let me try my giant strength.
- Okay.
- [GRUNTS] - Almost got it - [YELLS] - Almost there! [PANTS] Sir Gareth made this thing giant-proof.
But there's no way he made it magic-proof.
- Protegio bendiboom! - [MAGIC ZAPS] Oh, no, it's okay, guys, my medallion saved me.
Well, let's see if this cage is princess-proof.
[MAGIC TINKLING] 'Sup, girl, you look nice.
I am so sorry, old habits.
Anyway, the royal guards are trained to respond as soon as I say the word "help.
" Watch this.
Help! Good call, now just have them push my lockpick a little bit closer and I'll get us out of here.
[MAGIC WHOOSHING] [GASPS] Guys, I did it! Thanks, you can go now.
Pretty cool, right? They also come when I run out of pizza.
Okay, now, let's find Sage and Buttercup.
Okay, but, you should change back into Ciara.
I will, but I just love this dress.
Yeah, it's a great color on you.
I do not disagree.
As your king, I command you to [CRYING] let me go! You're gonna go, alright.
Straight to the moon.
Not the helmet! My beautiful hair! Look, everyone, the guards said I caught this while fishing.
Wait, what's going on here? Fizz changed a bunch of rules, the people suffered, now they wanna catapult him out of the kingdom.
[WHISTLE BLOWING] Sorry, sir, a lot of things happened while you were gone.
This is why I hold the raffle.
To remind the people of Astoria that my rules are good, and helpful.
So, you knew this would go bad? Yes.
And every year, you people do the same thing.
Every year.
It's really starting to worry me.
Can you please be the king again? I'll follow whatever rules you want.
Fine.
[FANFARE MUSIC] Henceforth, no harm shall come to this boy.
Not even a little? No, he has suffered enough.
FIZZ: [SCREAMS] [WOOD BREAKING] Now I get it, helmets are a good thing! Okay, I see Buttercup, but there's no sign of Sage.
I'm right here, dumb-dumbs.
Sneak attack.
Everyone protect your underwear.
Quiet! Buttercup's gone too far.
She turned the other group into gnomes and plans to do it to the whole kingdom.
Then why is she over there having tea? Well, she's evil, but she still loves tea parties.
I asked for a scone, not a stone! Urgh! This would've never happened if you hadn't turned Buttercup evil in the first place.
Yeah, well, we only did that because we decided, and and then you dang it, she's right.
Yeah, as difficult as you are, we should've found a way to work with you instead of trying to change you.
Well, as your leader, I accept your apology.
And I'll stop calling myself your leader.
Hey, maybe we can still work together.
I still have the magic breath spray.
I know exactly what to do.
Follow me, but be quiet.
Hey, Buttercup, I brought you a gift.
Aww, thanks! - No, no! - [MAGIC ZAPS] So, what's the gift? Is it an evil puppy? No, I brought you the Phoenix Squad.
Oh.
Next time go puppy.
Does this mean you decided to come to your senses and join me? Yeah, let's turn the whole kingdom into stone.
But first, let's practice our Has.
Let's hear one.
Ha! Good.
Now this time put some stsnk on it.
- Ha! - [SPRAYS] [MAGIC TINKLING] What what happened? My head feels like it's spinning.
Wee! - You're back.
- [GIGGLING] [MAGIC ZAPS] Whoa.
We were gnomes.
- We finally had facial hair.
- We looked good! I'm not happy you used us as bait, but I'm glad Buttercup is back to normal.
Wee! Normal might be a stretch.
Well, at least our group got the medallion.
Wait, where is it? Happy dance! Let's catch 'em and throw 'em off a cliff.
Or we can just hug them until they apologize! Aww, that's my buddy But.
Let's go.
Hey-ey, eh-eh Hey! Hey! Hey!