Knight Squad (2018) s02e04 Episode Script

In the Gill of the Knight

1 [COMBAT YELLING.]
And that is how the First Knight of Astoria defeated the evil shadow army, ensuring peace among the five kingdoms.
- Yeah! - [CHEERING.]
- For Astoria! - For Astoria! I've never said this before, but can you teach us more? Yeah, can you tell us about the first king of Astoria? Uh, yeah, we don't talk about Boomer.
For Boomer! I just said we don't talk about him.
Now, according to legend, everyone in Astoria is descended from the Great Dragon.
That's what makes us all dragonbloods.
Oh, why can't non-dragonbloods train at Knight School? I'm asking for a friend, because I'm totally from Astoria.
Dragonbloods carry the fire of the dragon in their blood, therefore, we make the best knights.
But doesn't that also make us sweatier? Yes, yes, it does, that's why I cram [GRUNTING.]
towels in my pits.
[SWEAT DRIPPING.]
Class dismissed.
Wish he would've dismissed us before he did that.
Okay, Sage, today is the big day.
We finally get to shrink Phoenix Squad and put them down an ant hole? - That's Thursday.
- Oh.
Today you're supposed to get your horse driver's license! - I am? - Yeah! I signed you up right after your birthday.
Once you get your license, we'll finally have total freedom.
Your horse can take us to the mall, or concerts, or the drive-through horse-wash! Hmm, that does sound fun.
- So, what are you waiting for? - Nothing.
I am gonna walk down there and take my test right now.
Why walk, when you can gallop like a horse? Moo! [GIGGLES.]
That's not that's not Never mind.
Hey, man, don't worry about what Sir Gareth said, you may not be a dragonblood, but you're still gonna be a great knight.
Oh, I'm not worried, I'm proud of being from Seagate.
You are? I mean yeah, you should be! Seagate has lots of great qualities, like and such as Prudie! You've been there! Oh, well, the public restrooms have signs reminding you to wash your hands.
It's very helpful.
That cut the incidence of pinkeye down by 75%.
Seagate's history is just as cool as Astoria's.
Well, except for the curse.
- What curse? - Oh, we were founded by thieves who stole the mermaids' treasure, so those mermaids put a curse on Seagate.
Once a year we get fish-like qualities - off and on for a day.
- Really? Well, that explains why you make fish lips when you take selfies.
Oh, that's not the curse, that's my model pose.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICK.]
So, you're gonna turn part fish? Okay, I so need to see that.
No way.
People will know I'm not a dragonblood if they see me with gills.
[GASPS.]
If that happens, can we call you Gilly? - No.
- Gilbert.
- No.
- Gilligan? I'll allow it.
Luckily, Mermaid Curse Day isn't until the 43rd of Sharktober.
Arc, the Astorian calendar doesn't have Sharktober.
You have Crabuary, though, right? - No.
- Wait, if my math is right, the curse is today.
Well, don't worry, your math is never right.
- [MAGIC TINKLING.]
- [YELPS.]
Whoa.
Just get me out of here before somebody sees my tail! Come on, guys, let's try to pick him up.
Whoa! Sorry, bro, you're just super slimy.
Oh, na-na, na-na, hey, hey, hey How's that, Arc? Are you comfortable? I am fin-tastic.
Are bad fish jokes a part of the curse? Sadly, yes.
By the way, you're gonna see me go through a lot of weird fish stuff today.
More than just the stinky fishtail? Sorry, no, it's adorable.
No, my cousin once turned into an oyster.
On the bright side, he kept pooping out pearls.
I'm gonna need you guys to cover for me while I hide in here all day.
Oh, this is so cool.
It's the first time Prudie and I are helping protect your secret.
You're right! This is a special moment.
- We need to take a picture.
- No! [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICK.]
Oh, wait, like you guys are yelling "No" in this picture.
Guess we gotta do it again.
I know you guys are new at this, but the first rule of keeping secrets is don't take pictures of those secrets.
Yeah, we wake up every day wondering how to keep people from finding out the truth about us.
Relax! We'll delete it.
No one is going to see Arc like this.
SIR GARETH: Phoenix Squad, I'm coming down.
- Is that Sir Gareth?! - Hide me! Hey, Sir Gareth, what brings you by? And more importantly, when are you leaving? Right after I figure out what you're hiding.
- ARC: Wanna know a secret? - CIARA: I'm a princess, whose father won't let her become a knight.
Please let me go to Knight School, Daddy, please, please! So I use a magic ring and secretly train as Ciara.
Yes! ARC: And I'm Arc, a charming thief who has the same dream.
I'm destined to become a knight.
CIARA: But people from outside the kingdom aren't allowed at Knight School.
ARC: So I'm pretending I belong here.
CIARA: Now, we protect each other's secrets.
ARC: So we can achieve our dream of becoming knights.
We are the Knight Squad, hey! Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na, eh I'm doing surprise inspections of all the Squad rooms.
What's behind you? Nothing.
Are you sure? Yeah.
Just hanging out shoulder to shoulder like friends do.
Well, in that case I guess I'll just be leaving to go finish filling out your report cards.
Oh, Ciara, you got an F.
That F better stand for Fabulous, because I do not fail.
Oh, you just did.
A-ha! Illegal hot tub.
Yeap, you caught us.
After a hard day of training I like a little bit of bubble time.
Just to be clear, I still have an A, right? Hot tubs are on the top of my list of banned items, right after man-buns.
Okay, I tried something once, it was clearly a mistake, can you stop bringing it up? - Out.
Out you go.
- No, wait! I have legs.
He he's only saying that because we were playing a game called "Truth or legs.
" And he always picks legs.
[WATER SPLASHING.]
For breaking the hot tub rule, you all must report to the training yard for your punishment.
Oh, but first, Prudie, will you carry the evidence to my house? Your house? There's no rule against me having a hot tub.
There she is! My bestie passed her test! Clap for her, people! [APPLAUSE.]
Thanks, Buddy But.
So, where should we ride your horse to first? Well, I was thinking the movies.
Or ice cream.
Or um ah I didn't get my license, okay? Get off my back! Oh, no, you failed the test? [SIGHS.]
I didn't even take the test.
Why not? We've been looking forward to this day forever.
You have.
I've secretly been dreading it because I'm ah - [WHISPERS.]
I'm afraid of horses.
- What? [WHISPERS.]
I'm afraid of horses.
- You're afraid of horses?! - Shh! I tried to ride one when I was a kid, but I It did not go well.
Cinnamon? What kind of stupid name is that for a horse? [HORSE GRUNTS.]
Giddy-up, dummy.
- [HORSE NEIGHS.]
- YOUNG SAGE: [SCREAMS.]
[CRASH.]
You win, Cinnamon.
After that, I vowed to never get on a horse again.
Then how are we going to do all the fun stuff we've always talked about? - Ooh, maybe you can ride a zebra.
- Hmm, one bit me.
- What about a moose? - One kicked me.
- What about a unicorn? - One kicked me, then bit me.
Just face it, I'm never gonna get my license.
Yes, you are.
Because I'm gonna help you get back on that horse! Clap for me now, people! [APPLAUSE.]
Ah-ah, oh-oh Move faster, Arc.
You missed a leaf, Ciara.
You call that weeding, Prudie? And Warwick.
I don't even know what you're doing.
Yeah, I was just trying to look busy, I I hope you learned from this punishment.
If you think I liked taking away your hot tub, well well, you're right, it's life-changing.
Phew, that was close.
Luckily I didn't do any weird fish stuff while he was here.
[CHUCKLES.]
Although I do feel a blowhole forming at the top of my head.
Huh? I do not wanna see that.
- I really wanna see that! - Me too.
We promise not to take a picture of it.
Oh, that reminds me, you guys deleted the other picture, right? - Warwick deleted it.
- I thought you deleted it.
Wait, if you didn't delete it and I didn't delete it, then who deleted it?! Stop saying "Delete it" and delete it.
Oh, here it is.
Aww, guys, look at us.
We were so much younger then.
- It was a simpler time.
- That was two hours ago.
A-ha! Caught you goofing off.
But only for a second.
Can I get my magic mirror back? You'll get it back when you graduate.
And if your report card is anything like Ciara's, that'll never happen.
Wait.
You keep saying that, but I still have an A, right? Right?! Get back to work.
When Sir Gareth looks at that picture, I'm gonna get kicked out of Knight School.
I'm so angry at you guys, I'm about to blow! [WATER BLOWING.]
Oh, look, I did.
Eh-eh-eh Na-na-na-na, na Because of you, Sir Gareth has Prudie's mirror and he's gonna see a picture of me as a fish.
How could you be this irresponsible?! We are so disappointed in you for being careless.
And for making us talk to you like parents.
I could get kicked out of Knight School.
- I know, we're sorry.
- We're more than sorry, just just please don't shoot your blowhole at us again.
"We're sorry" is not gonna help.
We thought we could trust you, but clearly you're not ready to protect our secrets.
Well, we wanna make this right.
Tell us what we can do.
You've done enough.
Ciara and I are gonna sneak into Sir Gareth's house and get that mirror back all by ourselves.
[DOLPHIN NOISES.]
Now you've got me cursing in dolphin.
Trust me, Sage, this horse-riding coach is going to help you love horses like you love me.
Oh, I'm not the one with the problem.
Someone needs to teach those horses to not be such jerks.
This trainer is the best in the kingdom.
I pulled some strings and managed to get you an appointment.
[GIGGLES.]
- [HORSE NEIGHING.]
- Ugh.
Here he comes now.
FIZZ: Yee-haw! [TIRES SCREECHING.]
[LAUGHS.]
So Fizz is the trainer.
Trust me, he's a horse expert.
Eat up, girl.
He's feeding a carrot to his bike, I'm out.
But what about all the things we have planned?! I even got us an air freshener.
[GIGGLES.]
It's new horse scent.
Yeap, smells like horse, just not a new one.
Well, the only way you'll get your license is if you train with Fizz.
And don't worry, I can teach you without putting you on a horse.
That sounds great to me, but how do you teach horseback riding without a horse? The horses in front of you are kicking up leaves! Look out for the branch! - Watch out for that beehive! - I hate bees! - Keep running! - Make it stop! Oh, we're just getting started.
[YELLING.]
You picked that lock in seven seconds.
I know, I'm off my game.
Wow, I can't believe we're in Sir Gareth's house.
You know, I'm gonna say, I was expecting more cats.
Okay, Sir Gareth is at the gym, let's find that mirror quick.
- [GASPS.]
Found it! - The magic mirror?! No, Sir Gareth's grade book.
Oh, see, I knew he was lying, I have A's for days.
We wouldn't even be in this mess if Prudie and Warwick had just deleted that photo.
[BUBBLES GURGLING.]
There are bubbles coming out of your mouth.
Yeah, that's what fish do when they're angry.
Also when they're happy, but I'm angry.
SIR GARETH: Mom, I always have time to talk.
Sir Gareth's home early? Why is he home early?! MOM: Baby, I thought you were gonna work out with your friends.
- Yes, I left the gym early.
- MOM: How come, sweetie? Well, you don't have to do much when you have pythons like these.
MOM: So what's the muscle man gonna do now? I think I'm just gonna stay home for the rest of the night.
[WHISPERING.]
We're stuck here.
[BUBBLES GURGLING.]
[WHISPERING.]
Where are those bubbles coming from? [WHISPERING.]
Don't ask.
Oh, eh, eh Eh-eh, eh Yeah, Mom, I'm doing super good.
In fact, my students love me so much they they bought me a hot tub.
Oh, my baby's got a hot tub.
We're gonna get caught, it's all Prudie and Warwick's fault.
Yeah, I know, those kids have no respect for us.
Oh, man, we're talking like parents again.
Mom, you know I'd love to talk with you all night, but I'm getting a call on my second mirror.
Hot tubs, mirrors Look at you, Sir Big Time! - [CHUCKLES.]
I love you, Momma.
- MOM: Love you, baby.
- Okay, gotta go.
[SMOOCH.]
- Okay, bye-bye.
CIARA: There's Prudie's mirror.
Okay, this is our chance to grab it.
[GRUNTING.]
Oh, sorry, guys.
I told Prudie to push me through the window, not throw me like a frisbee! You're talking to a giant, you say "Push," I push.
What are you doing here? This is on us, so we wanted to come and fix it.
We're going to swap my mirror with a duplicate one.
It's my grandma's.
She doesn't know how to use it.
Great, let's switch it and get out of here.
[METALLIC CLANKING.]
Do you think he heard that? SIR GARETH: Is someone out there? - Oh, he heard it.
- The closet, go, go, go! [YELLING.]
Oh, someone knocked over my decorative spears.
Show yourself, intruder.
Everyone be quiet, or we'll get caught.
[MAGIC TINKLING.]
[WHISPERING.]
It's like my body knows.
Oh-oh-oh, hey, oh, hey! Ugh, do I have to wear this? No, but since you're not paying me, I need to have some fun.
Okay, Sage, you trained hard.
Now, hop on that horse and and I actually don't know what happens in the test.
My parents won't let me get my license after I took our donkey out for a joy ride.
Oh, look, there's the examiner.
Hi, I'm here for my horse driving exam.
Nice outfit, is the rodeo in town? Hmm, are you going to test me or insult me? Oh, I think I can do both.
Here's the horse you'll be riding.
Name's Cinnamon.
Hmm.
Wait, Cinnamon? [WESTERN MUSIC.]
[HORSE NEIGHS.]
Buttercup, it's the same horse, I can't do this.
- Sage, wait.
- I'm not getting on that horse.
Well, I'm not going to let you quit.
You're the bravest person I know.
You never back down from a challenge, right? I I guess that's true.
Then get on that horse and show it you're not horsing around! Okay, okay, Buttercup, I can do this.
Trust your training, Sage.
[YELLS.]
[GRUNTS.]
You're ready.
Listen up, Cinnamon.
I'm in charge now.
Yeah, last time we met, you threw me, but not this time.
No, 'cause I've had a half day of training from a ten-year-old.
[GRUNTS.]
Buttercup, Buttercup, I'm doing it! Ha! I'm gonna pass this test.
I own this horse.
Giddy-up, dummy.
- [HORSE NEIGHS.]
- SAGE: [SCREAMING.]
[COUGHING.]
In case it wasn't obvious, you failed.
Sage! Are you okay? I am not okay.
I am great! What what do you mean? You didn't pass the test.
[LAUGHS.]
No, but I did something much better, I got back on that horse! Aww, you did! And then you got off of it really quick.
I'm sorry, Buttercup.
I know how much you really wanted me to get my license.
That doesn't matter to me.
I'm just proud of you for not quitting.
It's been a pleasure, ladies.
My work here is done.
Let's ride.
[SLOW WESTERN MUSIC.]
Where's that music coming from? I think it's coming from my outfit.
Intruder it's me.
Another intruder.
Come out and and we can intrude together.
It's only a matter of time before Sir Gareth checks his closet.
Looks like this fish is getting kicked out of school.
It's not me, guys, it's the curse.
All this happened because we were careless with your secret.
We're so sorry.
Yeah, we got you into this mess, we're gonna get you out.
Luckily, I just came up with a plan.
Are you gonna say the plan with the helmet on or is the helmet part of the plan? Either way, I'm not feeling good.
Just watch.
Aah! I'm the intruder! Stop! My mom bought me that helmet! - Okay, I got the magic mirror.
- I got the magic fish boy.
- Let's put this slime to use.
- Let's go.
[GRUNTS.]
ARC: [GRUNTS.]
[MAGIC TINKLING.]
Ow, my knees! Hey, I have knees! [GROWLING.]
Keep running! [GRUNTS.]
I can do this all day.
I go to the gym.
[GRUNTS.]
- We have to help him.
- How? [GASPS.]
With the Prudie quake! [GROWLING.]
- [RUMBLING.]
- [ITEMS RATTLING.]
[SCREAMS.]
I'm getting out of this thing and oh.
Well, that's nice, I'm I'm never getting out of this thing.
We're safe.
You two really stepped up.
Yeah, I guess you guys are ready to protect our secrets.
Yeah, from now on, you can count on us.
Thanks, guys.
I'm so happy I could blow.
[WATER BLOWING.]
Okay, where does the water come from? Nobody knows.
Hey! Hey Hey! Hey! Hey!
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