Knight Squad (2018) s02e06 Episode Script

Knight of the Living Dead

1 Hey, hey, hey, oh, oh Welcome to the Phoenix Squad study and snack sesh.
Warlock, can I get a chili dog? [MAGIC TINKLING] Next time, you should tell him to hold the "chilly.
" Let's get to work.
We need to pick someone we respect and admire to do our presentation on.
Sir Gareth said it's worth our entire history grade.
If we don't ace it, we'll have to go summer Knight School.
Oh, man, then I'd have to miss magic camp.
They were gonna teach me how to turn a toad into a canoe! How about we do our project on Sir Angus Macchio? Yes! Right! Perfect! You don't know who that is, do you? Not a clue.
He was the first teacher of Knight School 1,000 years ago.
I just wish we didn't have to spend all day working on our project.
It's the opening day of jousting season.
Oh, that's right.
The Astoria Moat Monsters versus the Seagate Slugs.
Go Slugs! That sounds amazing, but unfortunately, we have to get this project done.
Okay, well, I can't think on an empty stomach.
[CLANKING] In three hours, this is going to be delicious.
You know what I hate about this project? Everything.
Sir Gareth is one kooky teacher.
It's like he expects us to learn or something.
There's just so few people I respect and/or admire.
Really? You-you can't think of anyone you respect and admire? Maybe someone you're lucky enough to-to know personally? Oh, my wallet's in my other robe.
- Sorry! - [POOF] Since I'm someone that people respect and admire, I will pay his bill for him.
[CHUCKLES] Oh, choo, choo, choo, that's gonna hurt.
You know what? There is someone that comes to mind.
Happy to help.
And I promise that I will grade your project the same as the other squads.
And I promise to stop swallowing ladybugs.
[GULPS] Starting now.
Guess what? Kraken's doing their project on little old me.
Oh! We're doing ours on Sir Angus Macchio.
We're calling it "Sir Macchio Project" by Arc the Magnificent and these people.
Yeah, we're not doing that.
Well, your project's not due until the end of the week, so come up with a better title.
I'll take this out of your way while you work.
- Ooh! That's cold! - I was eating that! No, you're not.
You know, Sir Gareth has a point.
We have all week to do our project.
Maybe we can hit that jousting match.
Yeah, I mean, why are we working on this already? My motto has always been, "Why do homework" That's it.
That's my motto.
I don't know, guys.
We have work to do.
Don't worry about the project.
We'll do it tomorrow.
Oh, man, I can't stop thinking about that jousting match.
We won! In your face, Slugs! Ooh, we should go to Giant Beach today.
- What about our project? - Oh, we'll do it tomorrow.
That was a great beach day yesterday.
Well, today's gonna be even better because we're playing crossbow paintball.
It's paintball with crossbows.
[SPLAT] Oh, you're going down! Wait! What about our project? Uh, we'll do it tomorrow.
[SIGHS] This spa day is just what we needed.
Shouldn't we be working on our project? We'll do it tomorrow.
Okay, we're going sledding on Yeti Mountain, but we should definitely work on our project tomorrow.
Phoenix Squad, I can't wait for your presentation tonight.
Tonight?! Oh, no.
We've run out of tomorrows.
Hey ah! - Wanna know a secret? - I'm a princess whose father won't let her become a knight.
Please let me go to Knight School, Daddy! Please, please, please, please, please?! So I use a magic ring and secretly train as Ciara.
- Yes! - ARC: And I'm Arc, a charming thief who has the same dream.
I'm destined to become a knight.
CIARA: But people from outside the kingdom aren't allowed in Knight School.
ARC: So I'm pretending I belong here.
CIARA: Now we protect each other's secrets.
ARC: So we can achieve our dream of becoming knights.
We are the Knight Squad hey! Na, na, nana, hey Okay, we had a week to finish our presentation, and now it's due tonight! Why did we blow off our homework? Now we're gonna fail history and go to summer Knight School.
Summer's for fun, not for learning! Guys, relax.
We're the Phoenix Squad.
We don't panic.
We have a giant, a wizard, a princess, and a guy who says "Wazow!" - Wazow! - See? Ciara's right.
Let's get to work.
[SIGHS] Bookshelf, give us everything you have about Sir Angus Macchio.
[WHIZZING, THUDDING] [GROANING] Knowledge hurts! I know this looks bad, but if we each read five books every five minutes, we can do this! Maybe I'm a speed reader.
Well, what did you learn? That I am not a speed reader.
I know I said we don't panic, but I am starting to panic! If only we knew someone who'd blown off tons of homework, he could come up with a super-sneaky plan to get us out of this mess.
Yes, I can, okay? Because saying "Wazow!" isn't the only thing I'm good at.
Oh, by the way, wazow.
He is good at that.
Oh, hey, hey Hello, Kraken Squad.
I'm excited to hear your report tonight.
I'm excited to hear anything! I had carrots stuck in my ears for three years! Since you're finishing up your presentation, now might be a good time to interview me.
Okay, so, when you and Wizard Hogancross were trapped on that island, what spell did Hogancross use - to keep you guys alive? - Uh, he hid in the sand while a starfish monster tried to lay eggs in me.
Is it true that in the '90s, Hogancross released a hip-hop album and called himself Poof Daddy? Uh, yes, but why are you so interested in that wizard? [POOF] Because they're doing their report on me.
- On you?! - Yes! And I suggest you wear comfortable pants, because you'll be sitting on the edge of your seat.
Oh, no! Did you think we were doing our project on you? [STUTTERS] No! Of course not.
[IMITATES PHONE RINGING] I'm sorry, I really I have to, uh have to take this.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Hello, Unicorn Squad? Oh, you want to interview me for your project? How can they interview you when they're over there interviewing Slobwick? [CHATTERS] [FARTS] Oh, look, a ghost knocked over that tray! [CLANKING] Oh Arc's text was pretty vague.
It's just, "Training yard, pronto.
" And he misspelled "yard".
We only have a couple hours before we have to give our report.
Do you think he came up with a sneaky plan? ARC: He's a Sneaky man He's got a sneaky plan Sneaking around in a sneaky land He's a sneak, a sneaky man You are so talented, bro.
Behold! The final resting place of Sir Angus Macchio.
That's your plan? A tombstone we already knew about? I know, but this time, I invited a special guest.
Resurrection dust? That can bring things back from the dead.
Guys, with this dust, we can hear Sir Macchio's story straight from the zombie's mouth.
Oh, I really hope he still has a mouth.
Arc, this is a bad idea! Would it help if I sang the song again? - No.
- Yes.
You are not sprinkling this resurrection dust.
Of course.
I won't.
Because I did before you got here.
[MAGIC TINKLING] - Aah! - Zombie! Aaaaa've been laying down for a thousand years! Gotta stretch out the hammies.
Oh, yeah.
That's good.
Hey hey, hey Hey, hey, hey When did they turn me Knight School into a daycare for wee babies? It's still Knight School, Sir Macchio.
Well, where are the pillars of fire? There should be spikes everywhere.
And why aren't the students weeping in fear? Next time you think about bringing someone back from the dead, don't! Come on, alright? He is harmless.
What are ye looking at, rock? [GRUNTS] [CLANK] Oh, he killed my sitting rock! We need a week's worth of research by tonight.
He knows everything about Sir Macchio because he is Sir Macchio.
He's also a super-scary zombie.
Although I love his battle skirt.
Hmm, you there! Goldilocks with the tight pants! Don't look at me.
He's talking to you, Goldilocks.
Why did you bring me back from the dead? Are you looking for a fight? Huh? Ow.
No, uh, we're doing our history project on you, and you're gonna laugh because we kind of put off doing the research until the last minute.
[NERVOUS GIGGLING] They make you do history projects in Knight School? [SPITS] Books cannae help you fight unless you throw 'em at people! Zombie or not, this man is a genius.
Knight School's changed, Sir Macchio.
We don't attack each other for no reason.
Attacking each other is the reason! And look what you've done! You filled in me pit of bubbling acid.
Did you use that to destroy monsters? Nae! It was for the students! Catch you late to class? Into the pit.
See you chewing gum? Into the pit.
Complain about the pit? Into the pit.
Okay, uh, let's ask him some research questions quick before he starts using us as target practice.
[CLANK] Why you look so scared? You need me to change your poo-poo pee-pee pants? I'm cool now, but maybe later.
Um, so Sir Macchio, how would you describe yourself as a teacher? Mm, I was 50% warrior, 50% savage, and just a dash of crazy to keep it fun.
What was Knight School like back then? Knight School forged the greatest warriors that Astoria has ever seen.
Then they kicked me out.
Now Crybaby City.
Population, you.
Uh, let's continue this interview somewhere Sir Gareth won't find out his students raised a zombie.
I'd love to help you out, but I just remembered something I have to do.
Oh, is it brush your zombie teeth? Because your breath smells like worms.
Nae! It's find me enemy and get revenge! Revenge on who? You'll see when the sun goes down! [LAUGHS GLEEFULLY] Revenge! [GIGGLES] Anyway, there we were, lost at sea with only a crate of love potions.
I so enjoyed my time on the love boat.
You know what this story needs? - Ice cream.
- Then ice cream you shall have! [POOF] This is why we respect and admire you! Oh, excuse me! Coming through with a box ooh! Full of my trophies! - [CLANKING] - Oh, oops! I-I spilled my-my many accomplishments.
Whoa! Sir Gareth, you sure do have a lot of trophies.
Yep! Unlike Hogancross, I have so many awards, I'm not sure where to put them all.
I'll tell you where you can put them.
Bring it, weird beard.
Well, this project's getting good.
No, it's not! Sir Gareth, you're ruining our interview? Well, fortunately this interview won't take long.
Hogancross only has one move.
First sign of danger and he poofs away.
Not pie! I'm gluten free! [POOF] [SPLAT] Ha! Sir Gareth, I'm really starting to think you wanted us to do our project on you.
Of course I did! I mean, look at these trophies! Knight of the Year.
Bravest Knight.
King's Choice Award.
And if there was an award for best stink eye, I'd win that, too.
Watch! That is a pretty good stink eye! Na, na, nana, na Oh, man, I can't believe Sir Macchio got away from us.
He's in really good shape for a dead guy.
He said he's gonna attack when the sun goes down.
We have to figure out who he wants to get revenge on.
There is one way we can do that.
Mm, I gotcha.
We raise someone from the dead who can read those books to us.
No, we actually have to study.
This day is a nightmare.
There is nothing about revenge in here.
It says here, "If Sir Macchio caught students "gossiping about him, "he attacked them with his signature move The Macchio Charge.
" At least he didn't throw 'em in the pit.
"And then he'd throw them in the pit.
" Listen to this.
"Sir Macchio was kicked out of Knight School by another teacher "who said his teaching methods were too harsh.
"Sir Macchio vowed revenge on that teacher's family for eternity.
" Whoever's related to that teacher's in danger.
And we know him.
"That knight's great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great" [INHALES DEEPLY] " great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great" Spit it out! " great grandson is Sir Gareth.
" Sir Macchio's going after him.
This is not great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great great You get the idea.
Hey, hey, hey Na, na, nana, na Ah, Sir Gareth! The presentation is just about to start, so sit down so you can hear all about how fabulous I am.
Sir Gareth? We thought about it and we want to do our project on you.
What?! Eat that, Wizard! [LAUGHS] May I ask why? We picked Hogancross because he can poof us ice cream.
But now the ice cream's gone, and so is our respect for him.
We looked at some of the trophies you left behind and realized you are the person we [MUMBLES INCOHERENTLY] Tell him, Sage.
[STIFFLY] You're the person we respect and admire.
See, I said it.
Now I feel gross.
Well, then, let's hear that report.
[CHUCKLES] Now who has starfish monster eggs in him? Still me, but I win anyway.
[CLEARING THROATS] You can replace the hand, but you can't replace the man.
His heart may be fake, but his love for teaching is real.
His name is Sir Gareth and this is his story.
Aah! I can't listen to this "gar-bahge.
" - Poof Daddy out! - [POOF] You made Hogancross leave.
Best project ever.
- Kraken Squad gets an A.
- [WHOOPING] I told you all we had to do is write the introduction.
[GIGGLES] School's a lot easier when you don't do it.
Oh, good.
Sir Macchio isn't here yet.
Phoenix Squad, what's going on? Sir Gareth, something horrible has happened.
We procrastinated on our history project.
Oh, that sounds like a you problem.
Then we brought Sir Macchio back to life and he wants to get revenge on you.
That sounds like a me problem.
Why does he want revenge? Sir Macchio was kicked out of Knight School by your ancestor, Lady Garethina.
She thought his teaching methods were too harsh.
Now Sir Macchio's back for revenge and it's all our fault.
You brought him back to life, Arc.
Um, I feel like that was a squad decision.
If I survive this, you guys are in very big trouble.
We've gotta get you out of here before Sir Macchio tries a surprise attack.
Ha, ha! Surprise attack! Hello! Me name is Sir Macchio.
Your ancestor stole me Knight School.
Prepare to cry.
Get to safety! Protect yourselves! Oh, no! The Phoenix Squad isn't leaving! They could get hurt! Don't make promises you can't keep.
Go! - [GRUNTING] - [CLANKING] You're a powerful warrior, Sir Macchio, but you can't defeat me if you can't breathe.
Aah! Gotcha, Garreth! I don't breathe! I'm a zombie! [LAUGHS] [YELLS] [GRUNTS] You're soft, Gareth! Just like your students.
[LAUGHS] Sir Gareth made us tough enough to challenge you.
I taught them everything I know.
So it'd be like I'm fighting you, but I'll be over there popping my hip back in.
Alright, I accept your challenge.
[SCOTTISH MUSIC PLAYS] - What's he doing? - That's the dance he does to get himself psyched up before a big battle.
Hey, I learned something! Wait, we all just read tons of stuff about Sir Macchio.
Let's use that against him.
I have an idea.
We gotta make him mad.
[WHISPERING] What are y'all whispering about? We're just gossiping about you.
If you've got something to say, say it to me face! Oh, now you're gonna get me signature move The Macchio Charge.
[YELLS] - [GRUNTING] - [CLANKING] Wazow! Who needs axes when I've got me punching fists? Time to take you for a spin.
[GRUNTS] [THUD] I'm about to lose me thousand-year-old lunch! Macchio, you need to learn to relax.
Here, let me help.
[RECITES MAGIC SPELL] What are you Ooh, oh, ah, oh! That hit the spot right there.
You know what else hits the spot? Me.
[YELPS] I'm stuck like a bear in a honey pot.
Let me go! Not unless you promise no more revenge.
[SIGHS] I promise.
Are your fingers crossed? Aye.
Fine, you bested me.
And I suppose you're not the wee babies I made you out to be.
[GRUNTS] Which means my ancestors and I did not turn Knight School soft.
[CLANK] Now I just stabbed myself again.
Well, it's getting late.
I should get back to the afterlife.
Goodbye, Goldilocks.
You're not so bad after all.
Really? Nae, you're the worst! [LAUGHS] [MAGIC TINKLING] Oh, good! Sir Macchio's gone - and the Phoenix Squad is safe! - Ugh, they always survive! Phoenix Squad, that was the most unique presentation I've ever seen.
Does this mean we get an A on our project? Well, on the one hand, you rasied a zombie.
But on the other hand, I only have one hand, so I will see you at summer Knight School.
Ha! Hey, if it means anything, you really are a good teacher.
Huh, good teacher? I'm a great teacher and I can prove it.
- Kraken Squad? - Hm? Continue your report about how awesome I am.
Um, Sir Gareth, a man who was born a baby.
Who grew up to do interesting stuff.
Then-then lost a bunch of body parts and Oh, you're all going to summer Knight School! Na, na, nana, hey Hey Hey Hey