Las Vegas s02e13 Episode Script

Sperm Whales and Spearmint Rhinos

Have you seen the new tiger show? No, not yet.
I can't believe it.
What's wrong? The sister girl in the red blazer.
Name's Nina St.
John.
She's beautiful.
Do you know her? She's my college sweetheart.
The one who got away.
The one all other women are measured against.
Wow.
Wait.
Aren't you going to say hello? Oh, no.
I thought maybe I'd go and throw up.
All right.
Are you a man or a wimp? Go and talk to her.
Well, I'm pretty sure she doesn't want to see me.
Come on, you're older, wiser.
Abs of steel.
You may even be able to win her back.
You really think I could get her back? She isn't with anybody.
Wish me luck.
Good luck.
Okay.
Come on Jay Jackson from Oregon.
Go, baby.
It's your lucky day.
Oh, my God, Michael Cannon.
Hi.
You look great, Nina.
You, too.
Wow.
These are my friends Debbie and Rhona.
How's it going? Hi, Michael.
Hello.
So, you staying here? Actually, I work here.
In Surveillance and Security.
Wow.
Okay, I haven't seen an odd number since daybreak.
I'm going with five, nine Well, I just wanted to say hi.
I'll let you get back.
I'm sorry.
We're just on such a roll here.
Well, why don't we grab a drink later? Sure.
Nine.
Unbelievable.
You owe me $864.
What? You order a round of drinks for the house, you pay for them.
House rule.
Look, I was just trying to get laid last night.
Make this chick think that I was loaded.
Yeah.
Doesn't look like your plan worked.
Which is why I didn't pay.
I didn't get what I was paying for.
Anyway, what's the Montecito make a year? Like $18 billion? So what's a round of drinks to you guys? It's theft, Frank.
Theft.
So either you find a way to pay or I can't.
I can't pay.
I blew all my cash down at the tables.
Well, then it's going on your room charge.
And if you can't find a way to pay Well, I know you're not that dumb.
You'll find a way to pay.
Vegas sucks, man.
Well.
Okay.
Sam, it's nice.
Could you just take the earrings out for me? Okay, thanks.
Jenny, excellent.
Lanie, good.
Could I check the nails? Trim those, please.
Sam seems really nervous.
Must be one big whale.
Yep.
Flies in by helicopter, rents out the whole seventh floor.
You're kidding me, right? Go shave.
Now.
Unbelievable.
Nice.
Maybe it's the President.
No.
The whole place would be swarming with Secret Service.
My money's on Prince William.
Ha, you wish.
Yes, I do.
Yeah, you do.
You're both way off.
The high roller's name is Scott Steindorff.
Scott Steindorff.
I've never heard of him.
Me, neither.
The guy's some kind of real estate tycoon.
Pretty much owns Scottsdale.
He's also a germaphobe.
Turned the whole seventh floor into one big sterilized room.
Well, Vegas wouldn't be Vegas without the freak show.
You gotta give the guy an A for effort.
I give him an A for ass.
Are you turning into a man-hater, Delinda? Not at all.
At least three out of 100 are tolerable.
Who's the last guy you found tolerable? Besides you? What's wrong? Whoa.
What is that smell? Hotel Security, are you there? You wait here.
Okay.
Oh, damn.
God.
Oh, my God.
That's him.
Who? The last guy I met who wasn't a jerk.
Lot of good that did him.
I'm gonna puke.
You got it.
Let's put him up.
So, who is the guy? Well, according to this note and the prescription bottle here in the satchel, the name is Peter Greco.
Checked in four days ago under the alias, Richard Jones.
I met him in Cup-A Jo's and we talked about music.
He didn't seem suicidal.
Greco had some outstanding warrants and a lot of debt.
Not anymore he hasn't.
Maybe this was the easy way out.
Yeah.
Daddy, he seemed sort of happy.
Well, when you met him, honey but a lot of times the world sees one thing and the truth is something else.
Danny have the hall secured? Yeah.
You got a clear shot to the freight elevator, shouldn't run into any guests.
Nessa.
Nina wants to have a drink.
Well, that's promising, right? Well, she broke up with me because she thought she can do better.
It's a pity drink.
No.
I didn't see a wedding ring.
And I'm sure you've checked the registry.
Last name's still St.
John, but she could be But nothing.
The woman's still up for grabs, which means she's yours for the taking.
And I can help you get her.
How? All right.
Rule Number 1: Women are attracted to men who are taken.
So from this moment on, you have me.
Okay.
I'm liking this plan.
What's Rule Number 2? When you're having the drink, talk about anything her parents, her career, her favorite color.
But do not ask her about relationships.
You don't care, you've moved on.
You're not invested.
It's blue.
Her favorite color.
Cerulean blue, actually.
Quit being such a woman.
Be forgetful, distracted, detached.
That's what you men do.
And you women find that attractive? Yeah, for some reason we love that.
All right.
The last rule is walk away first.
That, my good friend, is the power move.
When your glass is almost empty, check your watch and get the hell out of there.
You're a very busy man.
Busy's hot? Hot! Trust me.
I think you'll find everything to your satisfaction, Mr.
Steindorff.
Did you just sniffle? Absolutely not.
Whatever happened at the Bellagio, I assure you it will not be happening here at the Montecito.
I don't want to talk about the Bellagio.
Forget I mentioned it.
Mr.
Steindorff? We have a new mattress for you sir.
New pillows, towels, linens.
All of the carpets have been steam cleaned.
Twice.
You know, people don't realize how quickly dust mites can consume a mattress.
Yes.
Well, people are stupid, sir.
They're filthy.
That's what they are.
There's no dust.
You certain? I use a special magnetic cloth.
See? Yes, I do.
Do you know that most dust isn't really dust at all? Is that right? It's primarily dead skin cells.
Hey, Daddy.
Hey, sweetie.
How you feeling? Suspicious.
What's this? Remember I told you I talked to the dead guy? Yeah.
About music or something.
Yeah.
He wrote the name of a CD he thought I'd like.
I found it in my purse.
A Brazil Chill double CD set.
Okay.
I don't get it.
I remembered the suicide note and I had a flash.
I think the handwriting on this is different.
Cops see this? No.
I just remembered I had it.
Daddy, you saw the suicide note.
Don't you think these letters are taller and neater? I couldn't tell you.
Maybe we could get a copy of the suicide note from Luis.
We could compare it.
New cards, new chips.
New felt, just for you.
Did you know that only two people out of every 10 wash their hands after going to the bathroom? Look around you.
Thousands of grubby little hands, all pushing, pulling smearing.
That is a little disgusting.
Yeah.
The only thing better than clean cards are lucky ones.
See, you and the Montecito are meant to be.
You know, Samantha, I have to say I am impressed.
You've impressed me.
Well, thank you, sir.
I just try to do my It's not just your preparatory work, but I can see that you exfoliate.
Excuse me? Yes, your skin.
Oh, my skin.
There's really no excuse for an oily t-zone, blemishes.
They're all just vivid symbols of poor hygiene.
But your skin is relatively flawless.
Oh, thank you.
Sir, can I get you a drink from the bar? After I wash my hands with hot water, of course.
You know, studies have shown that hot water is no more effective than cold water.
As long as you've got a really good anti-bacterial That is Not mine.
Nice kitty.
Mary, why is there a tiger in the hallway? I don't know.
Shouldn't we do something? You go on ahead.
I'm perfectly content just standing here frozen.
Me, too.
Yeah.
There you are, you naughty kitty.
Where have you been, my naughty girl.
Good girl.
Yeah.
Where have you been, huh? We've got a show to put on.
Oh.
Sorry about that.
Somebody left the stage door open.
She must have just walked off.
Good.
Come on.
Let's go.
Time to go to work.
Good girl.
Good.
Come on.
Good tiger.
Come on.
Good girl.
Come on.
Good.
I think I peed myself.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Did you hear that Mike's college sweetheart is here at the Montecito? No.
No, I didn't.
He's trying to win her back.
Oh, that's so sweet.
I'm helping him.
Great.
That's great.
Hey.
Hey.
Who's this? His name is Garvin Beckman.
He's a handwriting analyst.
What's he doing? He's comparing Peter Greco's suicide note to another writing sample.
Didn't the police rule it a suicide? Yeah, well, Delinda had a hunch that it wasn't.
Delinda had a hunch.
You find that funny, do you? Okay, I'm done here, Ed.
What do you got? I think your daughter's right.
There's absolutely no way the same guy wrote both these notes.
Good job, Delinda.
We have the late Peter Greco going into his room for the last time at 8:07 p.
m.
Coroner thought he died between 10:00 and midnight drug overdose, right? I don't see anything that says foul play.
Do you? I mean, he went into his room alone.
Never came out.
That's nothing out of the ordinary.
Could've been drugged somewhere else.
Yes, Sherlock.
That is possible.
Ed, we don't have anything to back that up.
Well, Luis tells me this guy's a real low-life.
Tell you what, why don't we just track his whole stay here.
You know, maybe we find somebody he ran into.
His whole stay? But he checked in last Tuesday.
Yeah, and? Well, that's Okay.
Sure.
Who is Mike's friend? What? She's cute.
Wow.
It's so great seeing you, Michael.
You look just the same.
Tall, handsome, that great smile.
You, too.
So, how are your parents doing? Les and Gail are fine.
They've asked about you 100 times, of course.
I think you were their favorite.
They have good taste.
So, what is it you're doing these days? Internet.
I founded an on-line tracking company in San Francisco.
And the stock went public a few years ago.
So you're a big success.
Sounds like you got it all.
Well, not everything.
There is one thing that's missing.
Hello, darling.
Hey.
Nina St.
John, this is Nessa Holt.
Mike has told me so much about you.
It's a pleasure.
So, you two went to college together.
That's so cute.
So, you two are a couple? Well, for quite a while now.
Oh, he's great.
But I don't need to tell you that, do I? No, you don't.
I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to interrupt your little reunion.
I wanted to remind this one about dinner tonight.
9:00, my place.
I'm cooking your favorite.
I wouldn't miss it.
Nice to meet you, Nessa.
Oh, you, too.
Bye.
Wow, what a woman.
What a woman.
Nina, I would love to sit and chat some more but I am late for a meeting.
Well, maybe we could have dinner.
Oh, right you have dinner plans tonight.
Yeah.
How about coffee tomorrow morning? 9:00 a.
M? Yeah, I could probably do that.
Yeah.
Day number two of his stay, Greco left his room at 9:44 a.
M went straight to Cup-A Jo's for a cup of coffee which is where he ran into you.
Stayed there for a while.
Read the paper.
Then went out to play some roulette for about an hour or so early in the afternoon but never talked to anybody other than the dealer.
After that, he went to the spa, from 3:00 to 4:15.
After that, he went out the main doors.
He said something about going sightseeing.
Now he comes back in the hotel, 7:45.
He plays the slots from 7:50 to 8:22.
Wait a minute.
I got him having a drink at the Bella Sera at 8:10.
Well, that makes no sense.
No.
Mitch, throw both these images up on the split screen.
You got it.
We've got two Peter Grecos.
They do look a lot alike.
I'm gonna run facial recognition on both of them.
I lost Scott Steindorff.
What do you mean, you lost him? He fired me.
There was this loose hair.
And he shuddered.
He's probably packing as we speak.
That's a bummer.
You have really good people skills.
Thank you.
You always smell nice.
I try.
You have good skin.
Genetics.
And you're bald.
Really? You could fill in for me.
He was only freaked out about the hair.
See, he thought it was my hair.
I know my It doesn't matter.
If Steindorff leaves, we lose $10,000 a hand not to mention 96 booked rooms.
You want me to be his casino host? Yes.
Sam, I wouldn't know what to say.
Yes, you would.
You have the fancy degree.
You're gonna be great.
Oh, and then I'll owe you one.
Hey.
I heard about the hair.
I am sorry.
No.
No, it But listen.
What about them? Those three women over there, they've been on a roll all day.
I heard they're up oodles.
Define oodles.
Six figures.
Good enough.
Okay.
Wait.
The one in the red is Mike's college girlfriend.
He's trying to win her back.
How does that help me? Oh, I can work with that.
Come on, Debbie.
I need a new house.
Okay.
Blow.
Come on.
I need a new house, girl.
Eleven! Congratulations.
Thanks.
I'm Samantha Marquez.
I'm a host here at the casino.
A host? There's a casino host talking to us.
Yeah, I heard.
Listen, any friend of Mike Cannon's is a friend of mine.
So, please don't hesitate to ask if you need anything.
I like the sound of that.
You know Mike? Well, of course.
Everybody in Vegas knows Mike.
He's so hot, funny, and smart.
Ms.
Marquez is very apologetic about the unfortunate transgression that took place earlier at the blackjack table.
And she completely understands if you no longer want her to be your casino host.
But since you are here you have this nice suite, a whole disinfected floor, in fact maybe I can be of assistance from this point forward.
You're a host? Well, technically, I'm in surveillance.
But the heavy lifting's done, all right? So, how hard can it be? I'll tell you what will get me to stay here.
The one who cleaned this room Jenny, I think her name was.
Jenny.
Yeah.
Used a magnetic cloth.
Lots of spirit.
You want maid service? No, I want her to be my host.
With all due respect, Jenny doesn't know how to be a casino host.
Yeah.
Well, neither do you.
Now, Mr.
Cannon I appreciate your efforts, and your devout attention to flossing, but unless you can tell me that Jenny is going to be my new host, I'm walking out of here.
You decide.
Then it's settled.
Jenny's your casino host.
So, tell me what a casino host really does? Like for us? You mean things that are legal? Funny.
I can pretty much do anything.
I can get you into any club or restaurant in town.
I can bump you up to a suite.
I can get you front row center seats to any show.
Sounds good.
Let's go out.
Now? What about our streak? I think we should quit while we're ahead.
Craps.
Your friend's smart.
You should listen to her.
Come on, we've been at this table for over 12 hours.
Okay.
There is this club I heard about.
You're coming with us, right? No.
But I'll hook you girls up.
Come on, you're our host.
What kind of host doesn't come to the party? All right.
I'll come for a few minutes.
All right.
And invite them.
Whoa.
Those girls are hot.
I get the blonde.
Did I do something wrong? It's about Mr.
Steindorff.
What about him? He'd like for you to be his casino host.
Just for tonight.
What? I don't know anything about that.
Well, it's really important to us.
And, you can make some pretty good money.
Yeah, good money for one night.
If it's so important to you how about a raise on my everyday job? I'm sure that can be arranged.
And I want a top locker.
Sylvie got one last week and I've been here three months longer.
You're quite the negotiator.
Anything else? How about a new dress? I can't wear this if I'm a casino host.
I'll call Estelle at the boutique.
She'll set you up.
Deal.
It was so sweet of you guys to invite us.
The more the merrier.
More champagne for everybody.
Yeah.
Yes.
Thank you.
These are great.
Are these amethyst? I love your necklace.
I have never been this excited about a Hummer before.
I'm talking about the car.
We haven't had a girls' night out like this in forever.
No, trust me.
We have not.
Please.
If there were men in this car we'd probably end up at the tractor pull.
Or the boat show.
Yeah.
No conversation.
Nachos for dinner.
Then he has the nerve to think I'm so grateful that I'm going to sleep with him.
What is that all about? Food, machinery, and sex.
Men are simple.
Where's the challenge in that? I want complexity.
I want to peel the onion.
I'll tell you where the challenge is.
Getting them to commit, which I have finally given up on.
Cheers to that.
Amen, sister.
I knew you went to the same church.
Didn't I tell you? Oh, me? Oh, no, I haven't been to church in years.
You know, except like for Christmas, of course.
Mary, I think she's talking about all of us being gay.
You know, "same church.
" Mary? Oh.
Mary? Will you help me pour the champagne over here? Sure.
You want some more champagne? That'd be great.
More champagne over here.
You could have told us.
Yeah.
You could have told us.
So what? They're lesbians.
They're perfect gentlemen.
Besides, they were on a winning streak with no end in sight.
I had to figure out a way to get them away from the table.
Okay, so if it comes down to it, I get the one in the gold top.
The guy at the Bella Sera is Peter Albert Greco.
The guy at the slot machines is Richard Jones.
So if Richard Jones checked in using his real name why would he go to all of the trouble of pretending to be someone else when he killed himself? He wouldn't.
Greco stole his identity.
Then he killed him.
Love your work.
Wow.
She's really, really talented, huh? So most of these strippers are gay? Are you kidding me? These men throwing their money away, like idiots, thinking that these girls actually want to be polishing their belt buckles with their asses.
It's enough to turn any girl into a lesbian.
Aren't we throwing our money away, too? Yeah.
Damn it, Sam.
I'm out of fives.
What are you crying about? I'm not the freaking bank.
I'm gonna cut you off after this.
Deb's been gone a really long time.
Do you think she's okay? She looks okay to me.
I've never had a lap dance.
D, I know you've had a boyfriend who took you to a strip club and gave you a lap dance hoping to make you crave a three-way.
No.
No? I did once.
Didn't work.
Everyone deserves one lap dance in their lifetime.
Where's the champagne? Let's go, girlies.
No, no.
I'm cool.
You're coming.
Come on.
Come on.
Thanks.
All right.
You stay here with your friends.
Just the man I was looking for.
Hey, Nessa.
How's the Nina thing going? Oh, you know, it's going.
Failing miserably, huh? Oh, no.
You don't understand.
See, first a man's gotta work his magic recipe.
Oh.
You mix in the secret herbs and spices.
And you gotta give it some time.
Let it simmer.
Percolate.
You know? Then it starts to sink into the bone.
Right.
Clearly this cooking analogy isn't getting you very far.
You know, Nessa, when we were back in Bella Sera doing that whole me, you kissing thing.
And then there was that second me, you kissing thing, which was longer and a lot wetter.
You mean when I slipped you the tongue? Yeah.
That's what I'm talking about.
I know this may sound crazy but it didn't feel like you were just helping out a friend.
Maybe that's not all it was.
So you weren't faking it? Why do men always think that women are faking it? Because you can.
Okay, so what I just happened to run into you in the hallway hundreds of yards from the casino floor? Mike, it's obvious you felt it, too.
Helping you out with Nina was the perfect way for me to make a move without it seeming like I was making a move.
Oh.
See, I knew you weren't faking it.
And, I Wait.
I am all confused and tingly in places.
What about Nina? I talked to Nina.
You can have us both.
Really? In your dreams.
Psych.
That's a good one there, Ness.
Yeah.
You got me.
Richard Jones was a successful investor in Cincinnati.
He had great credit, big savings account.
No record.
And no family either.
Perfect identity-theft victim.
Perfect any-kind-of-victim.
He wasn't even reported missing.
So Greco stumbles across Richard Jones notices they look alike, right? Right.
Targets him.
Kills him assumes his identity, then erases his own.
We can assume that Greco doses Jones' food or drink.
And then lifts his wallet.
It didn't happen here.
We would have seen that on the surveillance tape, right? Okay.
So the guy comes back to the hotel he's unaware, goes up to his room.
Takes a little nap.
Turns out to be the big sleep.
Greco could be anywhere by now.
Hi.
Hey.
So, do you think I should hit or stay? I don't really care.
Twenty-one.
Yeah.
You're my lucky charm, Jenny.
Yeah.
You sure you don't want to play? Oh, no.
I work hard for my money.
I can't afford to risk losing it.
So, you live in Vegas but you don't gamble? Gambling isn't just frivolous it's downright obscene.
And how is everything going here? I'd rather be home, but I can certainly use the extra cash.
See, this is what I like about her.
You just say what you think.
It's very refreshing.
Well, that's no wonder.
You probably have a boardroom full of suck-ups working for you.
There you go.
I'm Delinda.
I'm delighted.
Richard Jones.
Richard Jones? So, Delinda, if you don't work here then I have to assume you're another kind of working girl.
Am I right? No, I'm just out with friends.
At a strip club? Yeah, they're gay.
Oh.
You're gonna break my heart if you tell me you're a lesbo.
No.
I'm so, so sorry.
That's okay.
That's okay.
I'll get you another one.
Thanks.
I'm gonna run to the ladies' room.
Be right back.
I got that from the cab driver.
Oh, yeah.
Cool.
I rechecked all the footage.
Greco and Jones never came in contact.
He was probably casing the guy.
Making sure he hasn't got any company.
Where you going, home? No.
Jillian made a reservation at that Chinese place over at the Venetian.
Well, have fun.
Well, you, too.
Whatever it is you're doing.
This is Ed Deline.
Eave me a message and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.
Thank you.
Daddy, it's me.
Please don't be mad, but I know where Peter Greco is.
He's at the Spearmint Rhino.
You need to call the police right away.
I'll keep him here as long as I can Help! Thank you, God.
Oh, my head.
Oh, my God, I know.
Did you Hi.
Hello.
You don't think that something happened? I can't remember.
So I'm gonna go with wishful thinking and say no.
Well, thanks.
Thanks a lot.
Well, hello, Sam, we're friends.
And PS, neither of us is gay.
Right? Well, I mean, I like to think that you fall for the person, not the sex.
Sam, it's Ed.
Open up.
Hi.
You're all here.
I called up here and nobody answered.
Why? Am I the only one working up here? Where's Delinda? Delinda didn't come back with us.
But I'm sure she's okay.
No, she is not okay.
She left me a message on my cell last night but I left the damn thing on the desk.
Now where is she? I don't She was talking to that hot guy.
Come on.
Come on.
I assumed they hit it off and she left with him.
With him.
Is this him? Yeah, that's him.
Let me out of here! Shut up! You freak! Shut the hell up! Shut up! My father's gonna kick your ass! So, if you're a lesbian does that mean I was your beard? This wasn't something I knew back in college.
You know, it happened later.
It just felt more right.
You know, it's like the difference between color and black and white.
Well, I got news for you.
The classics are in black and white.
So you're not upset? No.
It's a relief actually.
All this time, I thought maybe you found a better apple.
Now I know you wanted an orange instead.
So, I can't be blaming me for that unless I made you gay.
Did I make you gay, Nina? Nobody makes anybody gay.
Well, I'll need a notarized letter saying as such.
I got a buddy, Danny, who's gonna give me so much grief about this.
I'll be happy to explain it to him.
And maybe you could do me a favor in return? Yeah.
Yeah, I've been thinking about this ever since yesterday when I first saw you.
What's that? Remember in the bar, when I said I had almost everything? I want a baby.
You're not thinking what I think you're thinking? Oh, I think I am.
Please.
Come on.
Please! Greco used Jones' credit card at a gas station near Barstow about 20 minutes ago.
Did anybody see Delinda with him? No.
The APB's been issued.
William Five.
Copy your 10-7.
Request on your code has been put through.
Yes, come on.
This is Victor Nine.
I'm in pursuit of a late model Regal.
Nevada license plate number B-L-B-2-6-3.
You wanna run that for me? All right, I got it.
Greco's car's been spotted.
The Highway Patrol's in pursuit.
Thank God.
Let's take Steindorff's helicopter.
Wait a minute, Ed.
You can't just take that.
Are you kidding me? Screw you.
Arrest me.
Pull over! I repeat, pull over! Yes.
Victor Nine, please proceed with caution.
Suspect is Peter Albert Greco, wanted for questioning by as Vegas Metro.
Let me out of here! Mr.
Steindorff, sir.
Hi.
Oh, hi.
I'm so sorry.
I did see the maid service sign on the door, but I didn't know I didn't realize it was this kind of maid service going on.
No.
It's quite all right.
I plan to shout it from the rooftops.
Great.
Well, it's funny that you mention rooftops, sir.
Because the president of our hotel he has a bit of an emergency.
And he was just wondering if it was okay if he just borrowed your helicopter? Sam, I heard it take off five minutes ago.
Which is why I'm hoping you'll just say yes.
Oh, it's okay.
Scott and I aren't taking off until late this afternoon.
Scott and I.
Got it.
Okay.
I'm sorry.
Can I just ask you why you're wearing the hairnets? No, it doesn't matter.
Richard Jones, I don't know what you were running from.
I was just gonna tell you your taillights were out.
What the He's not Richard Jones.
His name is Peter Greco and he has a record.
She's lying.
She's just pissed at me.
The woman you had locked in your trunk is lying? Yeah.
Call Luis Perez at the Las Vegas Police Department.
He'll tell you.
You shut your mouth, you blonde bitch.
You shut up! You need lessons on how to treat a lady.
It's a lover's quarrel.
He kidnapped me.
She's getting back at me.
He murdered the real Richard Jones back in Vegas.
You know how it is, man.
He's a liar.
All right! So she's just trying to get back at you.
And he's a murderer, a kidnapper, and a liar.
Anything else? One more thing.
I think we should take a ride back to my station.
Thanks, but I already have a ride.
Yeah.
Hey, good-looking.
Delinda's okay.
I didn't know she wasn't okay.
Well, it all happened so fast but she and Ed are on their way back.
What happened? I'll tell you about it later.
I have to talk to you about Nina.
She's a lesbian.
I know.
She told me at breakfast.
So why are you so happy? Nina asked me to father her baby.
She thinks that I am the ultimate male specimen.
You're kidding? No, I'm not kidding.
You might as well pick a man who gives you the whole package flawless genetics, MI graduate, gifted athlete as we know, personality plus.
Don't forget this ass.
Did you say yes? I gotta give her an answer soon.
But one last little interlude does sound tempting.
I think the definition of lesbian is no sex with men.
This isn't just sex.
It's creating life.
And you didn't see the way she looked at me.
Put her hand on mine.
So, you're saying yes? Well, if not for you, then for the world.
I mean, think what kind of offspring the two of us will produce.
It'll be like the beginning of a new master race.
Oh.
So we can hook up whenever you're ready.
You know, I'm secure in that because while you might be emotionally more attracted to the ladies you can't deny the physical chemistry we've always had.
Michael I guess some things, you know transcend gender labels.
You know what? I'm sorry.
I should have been more clear.
See my partner, Pam she's the one who's actually going to carry the baby.
Oh.
She doesn't really like Vegas so she didn't come.
But I convinced her to fly in and meet you.
She's coming here? Yeah.
Oh, look.
There she is.
Pam! She's never been with a man, so it's probably better to do intrauterine insemination.
Yeah, much.
Hey.
Hey, Ed can't make it, but he sent this.
No champagne for me ever.
How did the three of you end up at the strip joint together? You really want to know? Yeah.
Give it up.
Every detail.
Listen.
That's not important.
The important thing is the murder never would have been solved if it wasn't for our Delinda.
Thanks, Mike.
Okay.
Since you're dying to know, the high rollers are lesbians.
Including Mike's ex-bird.
Yep.
Whoa, you turned a girl gay? I didn't turn her gay.
Yeah, you did.
And I have a letter from her to back that up.
Whoa.
Wait.
Did you say yes? Yes to what? She wants his sperm.
What? No.
Oh, my God.
And? And, I've decided I'm saving my boys for the girl of my dreams.
Good.
Unless you turn her gay, too.
You get three then I start whupping your ass.
Hey, I want to make a toast to Delinda.
We're glad you're safe.
We're glad you're back.
And I'm glad I've never given you a reason to kick me in the sack.
Ditto on that, sir.
Cheers.
My man.
To Delinda.
To Delinda.
Cheers to Mike's sperm.
Mike's sperm.
Mike's sperm.