Lego City Adventures (2019) s03e07 Episode Script
Wylde Wex
1
[theme music]
[explosion]
[siren blaring]
[tires screeching]
[helicopter whirring]
[siren blaring]
[Wexler] Look at them, laughing, playing,
enjoying each other's company,
actually having someone there to hear them
bitterly judge others out loud
"Friendship." Who needs it?
I have science
to keep me company.
-[doorbell dings]
-Ooh! A friend!
Guten tag, Mark,
my dear neighbor from down the hall
I normally try to avoid.
Just in time
for some partial differential
equation fluid mechanics.
It'll be off the hook!
Uh, thanks, Dr. Wexler,
but isn't what you said
just totally incomprehensible, to me?
Yeah, right, well, thank you
for stopping by
to remind me
how my startling genius is adrift
in an endless ocean
of gnat brains.
Actually, I'm here to invite you
to my birthday party.
Birthday party?
Ah, yes, a silly ritual
celebrating the dumb luck
of surviving another revolution
around the sun.
Right? It freaks me out so much,
it takes me a full year
to calm down
and wrap my brain around it
being one year later.
That's why each year I celebrate
last years' birthday.
"Come celebrate Mark's birthday.
Party like it's one year ago!"
Now this is definitely something
I won't immediately throw away
once I close the door.
What was I thinking,
Bunsen burner?
I'll never find a companion
who shares my burning passion
for emotionally detached logic.
In other really
coincidentally-timed news,
today marks
the one-year anniversary
of noted anthropologist,
Dr. Barnaby Wylde's,
mysterious disappearance
on an Arctic expedition
to search
for prehistoric human life.
Barnaby
If anyone has information
on the disappearance of Dr. Wylde,
you should probably
say something.
I mean, it's been a year,
what are you waiting for?
Don't you see?
This is why I feel so alone.
It's been a year since I lost
my best friend, Dr. Wylde.
Besties since science preschool.
Oh, what fun we had.
They called us "Wylde-Wex!"
Look at us dressed
as carbon monoxide,
a carbon atom,
und an oxygen atom
ionically bonded in friendship.
[sighs]
Some fresh air
und exercise should help.
Hello, Dr. Wexler! Why so glum?
You wouldn't understand.
I mean, the proper explanation,
the brain's limbic system,
the amygdala, blah, blah.
It's all way over your head.
Hey, do you know
what always turns
my sad, frowny face upside down?
I don't,
but you must seek emergency
medical treatment for it.
I'm talking about ice cream.
I added a frozen food section
to my produce stand!
Sure, it's way too big,
but, at least,
it was outrageously expensive
"Iced cream," eh?
That sounds like something
a mother would say,
therefore scientifically sound.
[quivering]
The ice cream's dextrose
should stimulate
the brain's gustatory cortex,
inducing a pleasure response,
but the missing variable
is the correct flavor.
Chocolate, chocolate-watermelon,
watermelon-salmon,
watermelon-different watermelon
A perfectly preserved,
frozen prehistoric man!
Oh, Wylde should be here to see this.
Wylde! My friend!
Also frozen
und perfectly preserved.
In fact, wow,
hypothermia suits you!
[Wexler]
To reverse the cryogenics,
I must meticulously
regulate pH levels
while warming each cell
in precise increments.
One miscalculation und all is lost.
That's when the blizzard hit
and I got separated
from my party.
Unfortunately,
it was a dance party
so they failed
to notice I was gone.
The snow was so heavy
I was unable to see my hand
in front of my face,
which, in hindsight,
might be why I got lost
to begin with.
Then, suddenly, I stumbled upon
this pristine Paleolithic man.
Grog.
I knew I had to document
the event for science,
but I kept making, like, this
weird face in all the selfies,
so I kept snapping pics until
Well, you know the rest.
A great moment
of scientific discovery
preserved for posterity!
Uh, nope. I blinked. Delete.
But you have a living caveman!
Look, I ran some tests and
Where's the tool bar?
Uh, it's just here on this side.
So, it appears, while you were
frozen for exactly one year,
Grog was on ice
for 200,000 years.
[Wylde] The drop-down menu!
It just opened
when I moved my finger over it!
I didn't even tap it!
Oh, it's the new
Version 2 tablet,
upgraded from last year's.
It even alerts me
when someone dares disagree
with something I post online.
[screeching]
Okay.
The thawing process
must have disoriented you.
[gasps]
I know, we should go enjoy
some of our patent-pending
Wylde-Wex shenanigans!
-What about Grog?
-[man] Winner! High score!
Grog cool.
[Wexler] I know!
Let's use a super magnet
to pull down satellites,
alter their data,
then re-launch them!
That's always a hoot!
Ooh, I do love space fishing
Oh, no! Those buildings
crashed together!
We have to alert the authorities
and run in panic!
No, no,
that's the Fendrich-Sinclair Arch!
See, there was this contest
for an official city landmark
and Harl had this Grog?
-Where are you going?
-Investor meeting.
Then Grog go buy
and flip property.
[screams]
We're under attack
by a giant anthropomorphic
lion cub!
[Wexler] It's just a balloon
from a promotional stunt
that went horribly wrong
last year.
[sighs]
It appears you are having
an incredibly difficult time
adapting to this strange new,
modern, one-year-later world.
But not to worry!
Your best, genius friend is here
to help you get through this
using the scientific method!
[shrieks]
The undead walk the streets!
Everything so different.
A whole year? It's too much.
Expired dairy products
I'll accidentally be writing
the date from two years ago
on all my paperwork.
Nein! We are Wylde-Wex!
We can solve
any problem together!
It's just an equation.
You plus X
equals us having fun again!
Go on, solve for X!
Wait, I know, the night
before I left on my expedition,
I got up the nerve
to ask Gwen out to dinner.
Oh, we talked molecules, pipettes,
half-lives of artichokes.
[chuckles]
And she said the funniest thing
about the second law
of thermodynamics!
[chuckles]
Seeing Gwen
could be a grounding influence
on me.
Ravenhurst? Well, it is
my peer-reviewed opinion
that she is yucky!
You don't need Ravenhurst!
You have me!
I am much less yucky than her.
It was just a thought.
I just can't wrap my brain
around it
being one year later.
"Wrap my brain around it
being one year later"
Why does that sound
conveniently familiar?
"Come celebrate Mark's birthday.
Party like it's one year ago!"
This is the answer!
Dr. Wexler!
I'm so glad you made it.
Isn't this great, to me?
Everything is exactly,
authentically, one year ago.
[Mark] Last year's calendar,
a year-old jury summons,
and look how everyone's
dressed so last year!
It's so great how everyone
got into the spirit of it.
And this music!
Boy, that really takes me back
12 months.
This is the loud song ♪
Hey, I know this tune!
I mean, I hate it,
I listen exclusively
to whale song,
but this is fantastic!
Oh, I finally feel
like I'm home.
See? I told you
we don't need icky,
not-me Ravenhurst!
Wait here, I'll grab us
some stale, year-old pizza.
The loud song, the loud song ♪
Turn it up, up, up ♪
The loud song ♪
It's totally distracting ♪
But none of this is real.
Wylde-Wex is back in action!
Wylde? Wylde?
[Wexler] Oh, no.
Wexler! What are you doing here?
I figured you'd return here,
plus, I forgot the ice cream
last time.
Just leave me be!
I'm a man out of time,
365 days out of time!
Don't do it, Wylde!
You have so much
to be thawed for!
No! I don't belong
in this topsy-turvy,
alien, one-year-later world.
My only hope
is to re-freeze myself
for 200,000 years like Grog.
He adapted fine!
I heard he just sold
a movie pitch
based on his ear infection.
Goodbye, old friend.
So, what, you're just gonna
stand there posed like
What are you even pointing at?
Toaster waffles.
That's a good price.
If I'm frozen here,
I may as well alert people
to good bargains!
There's nothing you can say
to change my mind.
What about me?
Gwen? You're here?
Yeah, Wexy asked me to meet him
in the back
of Produce's freezer.
Not the strangest conversation
I've had with him.
Yes, I'm sorry, Wylde.
Our friendship
is ionically bonded,
but I guess I missed it so much,
I forgot to actually
be a good friend.
Uh, it's like
50 below in here,
so if we could move this along.
I have to tell you,
my last thoughts before I froze
-were of you and our date.
-"Date?"
Uh, wow, I didn't know
that was a date, huh.
Honestly, I didn't even realize
you'd been missing
for the last year.
Okay, awkward.
But maybe we could
go to dinner again,
you know,
this time make it a real date.
Yeah, well, sorry,
I'm kind of seeing someone
Good. Grog find Gwen.
Helicopter wait for take us
to exclusive club.
Ooh, fancy shmancy!
Ciao!
-That went poorly.
-Ah, It's okay.
You know, just talking to Gwen
and getting closure
really helped resolved things.
Why I feel like my old year-ago,
self again!
-Thank you.
-Of course, old friend.
So it looks like
Wylde-Wex is back in action!
What d'you say, pour baking soda
into a real volcano?
Sneak into
a high school science class
and rearrange
the periodic table?
[laughs]
Wylde?
[sighs]
Uh, Herr Produce, any chance
you have a hairdryer?
[theme music]
[theme music]
[explosion]
[siren blaring]
[tires screeching]
[helicopter whirring]
[siren blaring]
[Wexler] Look at them, laughing, playing,
enjoying each other's company,
actually having someone there to hear them
bitterly judge others out loud
"Friendship." Who needs it?
I have science
to keep me company.
-[doorbell dings]
-Ooh! A friend!
Guten tag, Mark,
my dear neighbor from down the hall
I normally try to avoid.
Just in time
for some partial differential
equation fluid mechanics.
It'll be off the hook!
Uh, thanks, Dr. Wexler,
but isn't what you said
just totally incomprehensible, to me?
Yeah, right, well, thank you
for stopping by
to remind me
how my startling genius is adrift
in an endless ocean
of gnat brains.
Actually, I'm here to invite you
to my birthday party.
Birthday party?
Ah, yes, a silly ritual
celebrating the dumb luck
of surviving another revolution
around the sun.
Right? It freaks me out so much,
it takes me a full year
to calm down
and wrap my brain around it
being one year later.
That's why each year I celebrate
last years' birthday.
"Come celebrate Mark's birthday.
Party like it's one year ago!"
Now this is definitely something
I won't immediately throw away
once I close the door.
What was I thinking,
Bunsen burner?
I'll never find a companion
who shares my burning passion
for emotionally detached logic.
In other really
coincidentally-timed news,
today marks
the one-year anniversary
of noted anthropologist,
Dr. Barnaby Wylde's,
mysterious disappearance
on an Arctic expedition
to search
for prehistoric human life.
Barnaby
If anyone has information
on the disappearance of Dr. Wylde,
you should probably
say something.
I mean, it's been a year,
what are you waiting for?
Don't you see?
This is why I feel so alone.
It's been a year since I lost
my best friend, Dr. Wylde.
Besties since science preschool.
Oh, what fun we had.
They called us "Wylde-Wex!"
Look at us dressed
as carbon monoxide,
a carbon atom,
und an oxygen atom
ionically bonded in friendship.
[sighs]
Some fresh air
und exercise should help.
Hello, Dr. Wexler! Why so glum?
You wouldn't understand.
I mean, the proper explanation,
the brain's limbic system,
the amygdala, blah, blah.
It's all way over your head.
Hey, do you know
what always turns
my sad, frowny face upside down?
I don't,
but you must seek emergency
medical treatment for it.
I'm talking about ice cream.
I added a frozen food section
to my produce stand!
Sure, it's way too big,
but, at least,
it was outrageously expensive
"Iced cream," eh?
That sounds like something
a mother would say,
therefore scientifically sound.
[quivering]
The ice cream's dextrose
should stimulate
the brain's gustatory cortex,
inducing a pleasure response,
but the missing variable
is the correct flavor.
Chocolate, chocolate-watermelon,
watermelon-salmon,
watermelon-different watermelon
A perfectly preserved,
frozen prehistoric man!
Oh, Wylde should be here to see this.
Wylde! My friend!
Also frozen
und perfectly preserved.
In fact, wow,
hypothermia suits you!
[Wexler]
To reverse the cryogenics,
I must meticulously
regulate pH levels
while warming each cell
in precise increments.
One miscalculation und all is lost.
That's when the blizzard hit
and I got separated
from my party.
Unfortunately,
it was a dance party
so they failed
to notice I was gone.
The snow was so heavy
I was unable to see my hand
in front of my face,
which, in hindsight,
might be why I got lost
to begin with.
Then, suddenly, I stumbled upon
this pristine Paleolithic man.
Grog.
I knew I had to document
the event for science,
but I kept making, like, this
weird face in all the selfies,
so I kept snapping pics until
Well, you know the rest.
A great moment
of scientific discovery
preserved for posterity!
Uh, nope. I blinked. Delete.
But you have a living caveman!
Look, I ran some tests and
Where's the tool bar?
Uh, it's just here on this side.
So, it appears, while you were
frozen for exactly one year,
Grog was on ice
for 200,000 years.
[Wylde] The drop-down menu!
It just opened
when I moved my finger over it!
I didn't even tap it!
Oh, it's the new
Version 2 tablet,
upgraded from last year's.
It even alerts me
when someone dares disagree
with something I post online.
[screeching]
Okay.
The thawing process
must have disoriented you.
[gasps]
I know, we should go enjoy
some of our patent-pending
Wylde-Wex shenanigans!
-What about Grog?
-[man] Winner! High score!
Grog cool.
[Wexler] I know!
Let's use a super magnet
to pull down satellites,
alter their data,
then re-launch them!
That's always a hoot!
Ooh, I do love space fishing
Oh, no! Those buildings
crashed together!
We have to alert the authorities
and run in panic!
No, no,
that's the Fendrich-Sinclair Arch!
See, there was this contest
for an official city landmark
and Harl had this Grog?
-Where are you going?
-Investor meeting.
Then Grog go buy
and flip property.
[screams]
We're under attack
by a giant anthropomorphic
lion cub!
[Wexler] It's just a balloon
from a promotional stunt
that went horribly wrong
last year.
[sighs]
It appears you are having
an incredibly difficult time
adapting to this strange new,
modern, one-year-later world.
But not to worry!
Your best, genius friend is here
to help you get through this
using the scientific method!
[shrieks]
The undead walk the streets!
Everything so different.
A whole year? It's too much.
Expired dairy products
I'll accidentally be writing
the date from two years ago
on all my paperwork.
Nein! We are Wylde-Wex!
We can solve
any problem together!
It's just an equation.
You plus X
equals us having fun again!
Go on, solve for X!
Wait, I know, the night
before I left on my expedition,
I got up the nerve
to ask Gwen out to dinner.
Oh, we talked molecules, pipettes,
half-lives of artichokes.
[chuckles]
And she said the funniest thing
about the second law
of thermodynamics!
[chuckles]
Seeing Gwen
could be a grounding influence
on me.
Ravenhurst? Well, it is
my peer-reviewed opinion
that she is yucky!
You don't need Ravenhurst!
You have me!
I am much less yucky than her.
It was just a thought.
I just can't wrap my brain
around it
being one year later.
"Wrap my brain around it
being one year later"
Why does that sound
conveniently familiar?
"Come celebrate Mark's birthday.
Party like it's one year ago!"
This is the answer!
Dr. Wexler!
I'm so glad you made it.
Isn't this great, to me?
Everything is exactly,
authentically, one year ago.
[Mark] Last year's calendar,
a year-old jury summons,
and look how everyone's
dressed so last year!
It's so great how everyone
got into the spirit of it.
And this music!
Boy, that really takes me back
12 months.
This is the loud song ♪
Hey, I know this tune!
I mean, I hate it,
I listen exclusively
to whale song,
but this is fantastic!
Oh, I finally feel
like I'm home.
See? I told you
we don't need icky,
not-me Ravenhurst!
Wait here, I'll grab us
some stale, year-old pizza.
The loud song, the loud song ♪
Turn it up, up, up ♪
The loud song ♪
It's totally distracting ♪
But none of this is real.
Wylde-Wex is back in action!
Wylde? Wylde?
[Wexler] Oh, no.
Wexler! What are you doing here?
I figured you'd return here,
plus, I forgot the ice cream
last time.
Just leave me be!
I'm a man out of time,
365 days out of time!
Don't do it, Wylde!
You have so much
to be thawed for!
No! I don't belong
in this topsy-turvy,
alien, one-year-later world.
My only hope
is to re-freeze myself
for 200,000 years like Grog.
He adapted fine!
I heard he just sold
a movie pitch
based on his ear infection.
Goodbye, old friend.
So, what, you're just gonna
stand there posed like
What are you even pointing at?
Toaster waffles.
That's a good price.
If I'm frozen here,
I may as well alert people
to good bargains!
There's nothing you can say
to change my mind.
What about me?
Gwen? You're here?
Yeah, Wexy asked me to meet him
in the back
of Produce's freezer.
Not the strangest conversation
I've had with him.
Yes, I'm sorry, Wylde.
Our friendship
is ionically bonded,
but I guess I missed it so much,
I forgot to actually
be a good friend.
Uh, it's like
50 below in here,
so if we could move this along.
I have to tell you,
my last thoughts before I froze
-were of you and our date.
-"Date?"
Uh, wow, I didn't know
that was a date, huh.
Honestly, I didn't even realize
you'd been missing
for the last year.
Okay, awkward.
But maybe we could
go to dinner again,
you know,
this time make it a real date.
Yeah, well, sorry,
I'm kind of seeing someone
Good. Grog find Gwen.
Helicopter wait for take us
to exclusive club.
Ooh, fancy shmancy!
Ciao!
-That went poorly.
-Ah, It's okay.
You know, just talking to Gwen
and getting closure
really helped resolved things.
Why I feel like my old year-ago,
self again!
-Thank you.
-Of course, old friend.
So it looks like
Wylde-Wex is back in action!
What d'you say, pour baking soda
into a real volcano?
Sneak into
a high school science class
and rearrange
the periodic table?
[laughs]
Wylde?
[sighs]
Uh, Herr Produce, any chance
you have a hairdryer?
[theme music]