Lego City Adventures (2019) s03e10 Episode Script

Lights!, Camera!, Grizzled!

[theme music]
[siren blaring]
[tires screeching]
[siren blaring]
[Todd] Sure we got rid
of that pesky rookie cop?
Oh, he ain't gonna be
a problem no more.
Not after the ninjas, the sharks,
the ninja-sharks,
the ninjas dressed as sharks
that vicious free-style rap battle
against ninjas and sharks.
Come on, let's grab the thing
and get outta here.
We're way behind schedule.
But we finished you!
Wrong, Crook Number Two,
I'm just getting started.
Okay, time to send this newbie cop
-crying back home to his mama.
-[toy squeaks]
Gift shop. For my nephew.
Onward to victory!
-[Todd grunts]
-[both gasp]
Take that, worthy foe. And that!
-[bell rings]
Thank you for that, Todd!
It was perfect up until
the point I said, "Action!"
Matt, baby, I love what you're doing,
but you and your mustache
are not on the same page.
Your mustache has to lay back
on the subtext and just play the scene.
Chester, I know this Grizzled character
and this whole climax is all wrong!
Matty, honey, we'll fix it.
Where's my film consultant
slash acting student
slash arresting officer?
-[Chester] Grizzled?
[groans] What now?
Detective, this is your story,
so come use your knowledge and experience
to agree with whatever our star says.
What's the problem?
The problem is Matt Finish fans,
or Fanishes, as I call ourselves,
expect more than me just standing around
making one-liners.
Okay, picture this,
as the smoke clears, Grizzled
starts the Hot Potato or the Robot,
to not only show he's unbeaten,
but that the actor playing him is starring
in an upcoming episode
of Celebrity Dance Time Machine!
Young audiences always
relate to pandering adults
appropriating hip trends and phrases.
It'll be so on fleek!
I've never danced in my life,
or in anyone else's.
I've been a cop 35 years.
The food is bad, the chairs
have no lumbar support,
it's all chasing people
and paperwork about chasing people
then you're retired
and spend the rest of your days
plagued by regret and bad feet.
I think I understand Sam Grizzled
a little better than you do.
Grizzy-bear, work with me.
I'm trying to tell your true story here
by completely changing it
into an action extravaganza
with wild chases, gratuitous explosions,
and now, dance fighting!
See? Good talk.
Oh! This is so exciting!
Matt Finish starring in a movie
about how my partner
single-handedly marched into danger
and foiled the biggest
art heist in history.
All right here at this museum!
Growing up, all I dreamed of
was being a veterinarian
for poor, sick animals.
Then I heard your incredible story
and decided, right then and there,
I had to be a police officer!
Poor, sick animals?
Yeah, when I think of all the sad
little kitties I could have helped,
the only reason I can sleep at night
is knowing that, one day, I too,
might get a chance
to recklessly endanger myself
and become a legendary hero,
just like you!
You don't wanna be like me. Trust me.
Are you kidding?
I asked to work security on set
just to soak in all the inspiring heroics.
It's not like you ever talk about it.
It's a shame they never found out
who was behind the museum heist.
I bet when that poor sap finds out
they're making a movie about it,
he won't be very happy.
[Fendrich] I'm not very happy!
They're making a movie about my
botched museum heist 35 years ago!
It was my first big job as boss and now
the criminal world will be reminded
of my first, mortifying failure!
What were you supposed to steal, anyway?
A priceless painting? A rare statue?
No. A stick.
See, when my family founded this city
It's true, Sinclair!
My ancestor, Ole Fendrich,
was a carpenter.
One day, he saw a child
playing with a stick, his only toy.
Ole was so moved,
he decided to create
the ultimate child's toy!
He spent years studying how children play
and asking them detailed,
toy-related questions.
And what did he learn?
Three things. Kids don't like
being studied while they play,
kids hate being asked
lots of detailed questions,
and, finally, kids like playing
with sticks.
Armed with his research,
Ole made his first toy,
a piece of imported Dalbergia wood
painstakingly crafted to look
like a small, normal tree branch
anyone could find
just laying on the ground.
[Fendrich] He called it "Stick."
It was an immediate sensation
and the Fendrich fortune grew from there.
So, uh, Stick is still in the museum
where they're shooting this movie?
Wait, that's it. The ultimate do-over!
I'll steal Stick while they film a movie
about how I failed to steal Stick!
-The irony is almost ironic!
-[all laugh]
No snickering! I am the only snickerer!
But instead of handing over the Stick,
you use it to fight your way out,
like this.
Whoa! You're not using the real Stick!
Of course! Authenticity is the key!
Great filmmaking
is all about authenticity!
If he fights off those Martians
with an obvious prop Stick,
the audience will never buy it.
Stick is one of a kind!
Okay, Mr. Teagle, we cleared
the path for the escape scene.
We just had to move
all these random branches
laying everywhere on the ground.
Perfect! This will be the biggest
action finale of all time!
I'm just waiting for the studio to call
-and approve the extra money.
-[phone rings]
-[phone beeps]
-[man blabbering over phone]
Money grows on trees?
[Chester] Sure, we're a tiny,
little 400% over budget,
but if you could just send
one blank large,
-novelty sweepstakes check, I'd
-[line disconnects]
Hello? Hello? Oh, this is a nightmare!
Mr. Teagle, I see you're making a movie.
Totally coincidentally,
my accountant has advised me
to invest an obscene amount of money
in something completely incoherent.
Yes! That's my movie!
[both grunting]
Then I bust out this move [grunts]
And just seeing my dance skills
makes you pass out.
Ugh. Ridiculous!
You defeated the crooks
by the dungeon wall
and used the chains to secure them.
That's what really happened, right?
[Chester] Listen, everyone!
Mr. Fendrich has agreed
to finance my brilliant artistic vision.
All he asks is to change
my brilliant artistic vision.
Everyone out! It's magic time!
My stunt crew here, will set up
our brand-new surprise,
happy, to me, ending!
Oh, sounds very Cinéma Vérité!
I'll shoot it, myself, shaky cam style.
Great! Anything would be more exciting
than the true story where the crooks
were goofing around and
accidentally locked themselves
in the dungeon display
and a rookie cop just stumbled
across the poor helpless dopes.
-[Fendrich laughs]
[Rooky] That makes it sound like
you didn't do anything heroic at all!
I am gonna go arrest him for slander.
Be right back.
No, look, Rooky,
it's time I told you the truth.
I never raced into danger,
fought off crooks,
or saved a treasured artifact.
I was just walking by the museum
and only went in to use the restroom.
The crooks were already chained
to the dungeon wall.
The next day,
everyone's telling this big, crazy story
and hailing me a hero.
The more I corrected them,
the bigger and crazier the story got!
Eventually, I just gave up.
So, I became a police officer
instead of helping kitties
because of a lie?
I'm no hero. Never was.
But how would Fendrich know unless he
Rooky! Eyes open. Something's going down.
-Going down?
-[Chester] And, action!
I gotcha! [grunts]
Hey! Stop! What are you doing?
My mustache does all its own stunts!
[panting, giggling]
[chuckles, groans]
I got Stick!
Go! Go! Go!
[siren wailing]
Boss, the copter feels sluggish,
like, two extra guys sluggish.
It's Grizzled. Shake him off!
What are you doing up here?
Acting! Don't worry,
they do all this with special effects,
green screens, safety harnesses,
it's perfectly safe.
[cat meowing]
[tires screeching]
So, you were behind the museum robbery!
And you were the lucky cop
who became a big hero for doing nothing!
Not this time. It's over, Fendrich.
Stick is a Fendrich family heirloom!
It's safer with me!
I have the perfect spot for it at home,
on top of my log and kindling holder
next to the fireplace!
[Grizzled] Well, maybe in 35 years
you'll get another chance at it
when you're outta jail.
Mustache wrangler!
Grizzled, that was amazing!
Just doing my job.
I'm sorry you gave up your dream
of helping animals
because of me.
Actually, I saved
this little guy and Matt Finish
because I am a police officer.
Maybe you weren't
a legendary hero 35 years ago,
but you are now.
What you just did proves
I can still be one too, in time.
[Chester pants] I got the whole thing!
This will be the greatest
action movie of all time!
Should this lens cap be off?
Yes, that's what it is!
All part of a movie!
What an ending! Flying lances!
Helicopter chases!
Ooh! And that scene where
I confessed to stealing Stick?
Wow, it felt so real it would
almost be admissible in court!
[laughs] Good thing it was all pretend,
which can be verified
by an entire movie crew full of witnesses!
You know, for 35 years, I had to live
with not being that guy in the story,
but, I guess, somewhere along the way,
I actually became that guy.
Meanwhile, you failed
to steal a stick. Twice.
Now, that I can live with, can you?
Oops. Sorry. Reflex.
She's obviously not Yeah.
Sorry about that. I'm good.
Well, partner, you'll always be
the hero of my movie.
Can I get an autograph?
No. I hate paperwork.
[theme music]
Previous EpisodeNext Episode