Life's a Glitch with Julien Bam (2021) s01e03 Episode Script

Back to School

Faster. Come on.
Move it, Joon.
Joon? Joon!
This fucking ankle monitor! Help me!
- Hold still!
- Okay. Okay.
Careful! And
You got the wrong foot, you bastard!
Shit, man. I told you to hold still!
- I can't!
- Hold still!
- [screaming]
- [grunting]
- [ankle monitor beeps]
- [panting]
Give me that shit.
Help me up!
Fucking dickhead.
[Julien] Get up!
You're heavy, dude.
Hey, what was that all about?
Wait, there's something here.
[creature growling]
- [whimpers]
- [growling]
[both scream]
Run! Run! Run!
Ju. Fuck!
[in English] Fucking aliens! [screams]
[in German] and that's
how we lost our wallet.
[in English] True story.
But, we'll pay you in gold.
It's a much better currency.
Safe from crises.
[upbeat music playing]
[Julien] Hey, the last time we met
was kind of weird.
You're so different,
I almost didn't recognize you.
Hey you.
- [Julien] Not only were we stranded
- [man] Leave me alone!
but our other selves
were also trapped in our dimension.
How do I delete this stuff?
[Julien] And my other self
was just about to ruin my life.
This slimy bastard Diego
began hitting on Clara in the meantime.
But even though I hate him,
in this dimension,
he gave us an important clue.
Joon, I think there's some real shit
happening in our world right now.
We kind of switched or something.
Here, look.
- What?
- I don't see anything.
There was a glow.
It started to glow like the 5G mast!
It doesn't glow!
I just connected to the Internet
from our dimension!
We came into this parallel dimension,
so there has to be a way out as well.
Do you remember the video
of the scientist that Diego showed us?
Our universe divides into parallel ones
with every decision we make
Main man, that woman.
- Google that! Quick!
- It's "goggle."
- What's your problem?
- You're my fucking problem! Just do it.
In my opinion,
the most elegant interpretation
of quantum physics is this:
With each interaction, our universe
gets split into new parallel universes
Take us to Werner Heisenberg University.
[Julien] Dr. Lia Sillberg.
She can get us home.
We just need to find her,
build a relationship
and convince her to help us.
And don't act weird while doing it.
Are you sure she can help us?
But unfortunately, Joon began
to draw too much attention once again.
[whispering] Isn't he
that fucked-up rapper?
We don't fit here at all.
Who gives a shit?
If we don't want to stand out,
we should blend in better.
Especially you.
Look at this one, for example.
Denim jeans, cardigan,
polo shirt, cheesy haircut.
The average mechanical engineering
student. "Mechi" for short.
Here. Dr. Martens, Fjällräven backpack,
MacBook Pro, Caro shirt.
The average architecture student.
[laughing] Dude, look!
Stop it, Joon, you can't do that.
I didn't stop time. This time freeze
is for demonstration purposes only.
What the fuck?
Joon. Run.
Excuse me.
There was this guy walking around.
He grabbed me between the legs.
I have an idea. Give me your clothes.
- What? No.
- Just trust me.
- I don't want to be naked here.
- You have a better idea?
- No, I don't.
- Trust me, then.
Know how cold it is?
There are people everywhere!
- Who cares? We need to get in!
- No. Absolutely not!
Give me five minutes.
Or give me your grills as well.
Let me give you a hand.
Oh, my God!
- Is that a tooth?
- No
- Did you just pull out a fucking tooth?
- Just put it back.
[gasps in pain]
I've got prostheses.
I guess. You also have
a huge tattoo on your back.
- What tattoo?
- It's huge!
What tattoo?
- A portrait of your sister!
- Don't fuck with me!
Thomas, I need support. I got a 1263 here.
Yes, a grabber.
Joon! Joon! Here!
What kind of shit is that?
- My coat was worth 20,000 euros.
- It doesn't matter!
Oh, no, I'm not wearing that.
Never! No! No! No!
[funky music playing]
[Julien] And so, Joon and I ended up
in university after all,
just like our mothers always wanted.
Hostile territory.
But luckily we could blend in.
Why am I wearing
this son of a bitch outfit?
You're wearing the best outfit, man.
I would wear it, but it's too big for me.
Come on, you son of a bitch.
Here hangs a real son of a bitch.
Exactly, you need to go that way
and then turn right.
- Thanks.
- No worries.
Mr. Bam. Joining us again today?
Excuse me?
We didn't expect to see you today.
Shall I sign you up for the study again?
"You too can make money fast"?
Looks like shit. What a crappy mustache.
- [guard 1] I think that's him.
- [guard 2] You sure?
Yeah, the dick grabber.
As if I'd join something like this
without my buddy Joon.
Ready when you are.
- Both of you?
- Yes.
Great. Follow me, then.
[teacher] You're familiar
with this, Mr. Bam.
This is where you enter
your condition every ten minutes.
Yes, sure. Good.
Hey, Ju! Hey, man!
You all right again, mate?
Yeah, under the circumstances. Why?
Last weekend was too much.
I was worried about the accident.
Here and here.
[Julien] Clinical trial?
Hi, I'm Olek.
[Julien] The Julien from this dimension
is annoying me more and more.
And then I swallowed this pill.
Shitty muscle memory!
Tell me, Olek,
um, for how long have we been
doing this clinical trial?
[in English] Are you shitting me?
[in German] Easy money and free coffee.
Dude, your words.
[chuckling] Yeah, sure.
Are you leaving?
I just wanted to check out
this physics lecture.
I thought we'd chill for a bit,
like the good old times.
Can you help me with the numbers?
- I can't figure them out.
- Give it to me.
- That's your friend from this dimension?
- Shut it!
- [laughs]
- This world's Julien is a proper weirdo.
I just want to get away [echoes]
Did you just hear that?
Yes, because you made that sound.
What kind of pills were those anyway?
I don't know, I threw them away.
I'm not taking that.
- [warbling]
- Wow! What are all these colors?
Do you see all the colors here?
My fingers are so long.
Are yours that long too?
Yours are rather thick.
Like worms.
Did I just say that out loud?
Why did I just say that out loud?
"For introverts" Fuck.
"Intensified verbal expression."
- "Not suitable for extroverts."
- Joon!
- Yes, I can hear you!
- Not so loud!
- These pills are
- Hot! Not that I'm hot. I'm awesome.
But this feeling
Talking, letting it all out.
Everything's twisted.
Joon? You need these pills too.
You need these pills. They're so good.
I'll get you some.
- No. No, Ju.
- Yes. Yes, Joon.
I talk, therefore I am.
[in English] Fuck you! Fuck you too!
[in German] Your outfit is ugly.
Do we look like that? Don't touch me.
Joon! Joon, we need
to find Dr. Sillberg, right?
- They have the same haircut.
- May we see your student IDs
No problem.
That's what ID cards are for, right?
Identification is important.
Security is important.
Security for President! You like your job?
You don't look like you enjoy it.
- Not that that's bad.
- Shut the fuck up! Okay.
Well, we're both students here,
and my friend is a bit out of it today.
For most people, student life
is the happiest time of their lives.
Did you know that?
This was revealed by a study.
Same thing with Joon.
He was interviewed.
Joon. I suggest we split up.
I'll make my way to the scientist
and you stop these two assholes.
Nothing personal.
[grunts] Hey!
Stop! Get him!
Little shit! We're coming for you!
Fuck, sorry! Looked great, though!
[guard 1] Come on, come on!
- There he is!
- I'm the fastest. Am I the fastest?
I don't know.
Am I even fast?
[rock song playing]
We'll get him!
He has to be here somewhere.
How can a short fat boy be this fast?
- Just like bumblebees!
- What bumblebees?
They are super fat and can fly super fast.
Try and focus, please!
They defy the laws of physics
by taking off.
- I told you to focus.
- There he is!
[guard 1] You can't get out.
It's a dead end. [laughing]
I've got you!
[door opens]
Friends! Is everything all right with you?
I'm good, I'm very good actually!
Thanks for asking!
Nice place you have here.
I'm out of breath
because I've been running.
Like running?
We might have a shared interest.
I don't want to interrupt!
You in the middle of something?
Deep learning mode. 100% concentration.
Except that guy. He's sleeping.
Dude, fucking pills, dude!
I hate extroverts. You guys too?
I don't know. It doesn't matter.
Where did he go?
[Joon panting] How come the
old men are so fast?
I'm gonna sit down for a minute.
And you know what?
I'm going to sit down for a lot longer.
Is this seat taken?
Is this seat taken?
[sniffing] I can still smell him.
[Julien] Okay, sorry. I'm sitting.
We can start. I'm totally focused!
Fuck! Who's been talking?
I can't focus at all.
Did we have homework?
Excuse me, do you have something to say?
Or do you want to take over from here?
Wasn't I just here?
The crazy thing about quantum physics
is the superposition.
That's exactly what we need! Joon. Joon!
Okay, let's make a deal.
You let me pass and I'll let you pass,
then we'll pretend
we've never met before, okay?
Let's see how you like this!
Schrödinger's cat is in the box,
both alive and dead.
Science, dude! Science, exactly.
Which means that the act
of opening the box and looking inside
- will determine whether
- Parallel worlds.
the cat is actually alive or dead.
Which cat?
Quantum physics dictates that
two electrons are connected to each other
even if they are at different positions
in the universe.
That's quite similar to Mr. Bam and me.
quite similar to Mr. Bam and me.
- Do you know the double-slit experiment?
- Can you explain it to me?
Why are we talking about slits?
Please stand up.
Sit down!
Why isn't Is this not working?
Please, let me pass.
[Lia] How do we come to the conclusion
that the quantification of energy
is to be ascertained
as a characteristic of the matter itself
and not as a characteristic of light?
- Let's have a look at the
- [fire alarm]
Yeah, fuck off. [laughs]
Did I do that?
Quiet, please! Calm down! Don't panic!
Dr. Sillberg!
Sillberg, Sillberg, please! Listen to me.
Please, listen to me!
One minute, ten seconds, one second.
Just listen to me for a second.
Please, I need your help!
You're listening already. Perfect!
Sorry for interrupting your lecture.
Apology accepted. Yes! Thank you!
Your theories during the lecture were
interesting. So I might've been loud.
I participated in a medical study.
That's why I'm not myself.
But also because I am not from here.
Not from this world.
Not from this dimension. I don't know
what's going on, but I need your help.
And Joon does too.
And somehow I got reception
from our dimension on my mobile phone.
There was this giant 5G mast.
We simply crashed into it.
And suddenly we're here.
I don't know why.
But we have to get back somehow.
And that's why we need your help!
I would be happy to help you.
You seem very confused.
Maybe it would help
if you never attended another
quantum physics lecture ever again.
[whispering] Dr. Sillberg.
Filthy rat.
Okay, okay.
- [whimpers]
- [squeaking]
You filthy
- [rat squeals]
- [Joon yells]
What have you done with your life?
You loser.
Where have you been?
I've been looking for you.
Had to do it all by myself.
Dude, what happened?
If you stare into the abyss long enough,
eventually the abyss will stare back.
Well, I found this Lia.
She's a semi.
I overheard.
I broke into her office
and signed us up for a science pitch.
She's in the jury tomorrow.
We have a new mission.
[Julien] Joon did a good job.
But I know one thing for sure.
If you want to win a pitch,
you must deliver.
Luckily I had an idea Joon found amazing.
That's a dumb idea!
You can't just steal my sister's tools.
Joon, nobody is stealing here!
We borrow! It stays in the family.
Now give me a hand!
Can't we just go to this science pitch
and you talk them up
like your advertising clients?
They believe everything you say.
Joon, what we need is a great idea.
A kick-ass visualization!
Imagine Back to the Future
without the DeLorean.
You see it, don't you? Doesn't work.
It doesn't make sense.
What if Hana comes back?
If Hana does, easy. You apologize
to her and things will be fine.
- How?
- [Julien] Here.
- Perfect.
- A flower?
But no kissing, Joon!
[door opens, closes]
- Are you stealing from me again?
- For you.
A flower, Joon?
[in English] Really?
[Hana in German] Pathetic!
The fact that you still have to do this,
given your status, is sad, Joon.
But some things never change.
But I'm different.
- Give me a chance, I'll prove it to you.
- [Hana] Save it!
- [Joon] No!
- [Hana] Yes!
- No!
- [Hana] Yes!
- No!
- Okay.
[Joon] No!
First of all, I'm really sorry!
For everything! I really am.
Whatever happened between you and me.
That you haven't been in touch for years
and now you show up out of nowhere?
- Seems I haven't been the best brother.
- Guys, my phone! Look.
But the thing is
I am not really your brother.
- You're high, aren't you?
- What? No!
- I've never been high before!
- Why do I even ask?
[Julien] This microwave.
Ever since you turned it on,
my phone's been going crazy.
I upgraded it a bit.
The deep fryer is broken.
Come on, guys, don't ignore me.
I'm getting messages here!
[both] Shut up!
So, this will probably be a shock to you,
but the truth is I'm not from around here.
Me and Ju, we got in an accident
and then we woke up here.
And your brother, who I'm not,
he's probably in my dimension.
Probably in my body as well.
I believe so at least. And I am in his!
That explains a lot.
It explains
you thinking I'm absolutely stupid.
What? No!
Still not grown up at all!
There's a scientist we need to talk to,
and she can explain it much better.
- How stupid!
- What's stupid about that?
- Everything?
- [whispering] Joon! Tools!
That for a moment I believed it was
a good thing you showed your face again.
- Tools!
- Okay, we need your tools.
- Then I can prove it to you, all right?
- Exactly!
- You swine, kiss my ass!
- No, you kiss my ass!
That's too much. You're siblings.
[both] Shut up!
[in English] Sorry.
[in German] Just leave me alone.
I do have a sister
in this parallel dimension.
[chuckling] And for some reason,
she hates me.
Yeah. You're right, man.
But, Joon
We'll be home soon.
Screw this world.
You're in the body
of some fucked-up rapper
who has no real teeth
and has stolen urinal cakes.
I'm a medicine junkie
who causes accidents.
It's a fucking parallel dimension, man.
I know that this is not our world.
Nevertheless, it hurts
when you hear something like that.
Wait here.
- Hana.
- Piss off.
I know what you've said is true,
or was true, but Joon has changed.
Or would the old Joon
be sitting outside crying?
You are all he has and he needs your help.
We need your help.
And your microwave.
I need my microwave myself.
And Joon needs his sister.
Oh, all of a sudden?
Do you know the story of
the Very Hungry Caterpillar?
She is small and fat, nobody likes her.
And suddenly she becomes a butterfly
and everyone thinks she's great.
Because everyone
suddenly recognizes her beauty.
The same thing happened with Joon,
he has changed too.
Except he still looks
a bit like a caterpillar.
I'll help you. But under one condition.
You make sure
that Joon doesn't run off again
and not get in touch for years.
I don't give a fuck if he's famous,
a rapper or a fucking caterpillar, okay?
And I want him to hand out flyers
wearing our pig mascot costume.
One million flyers.
He will! Easy!
- Promise!
- I promise.
- Swear!
- I swear.
[whimsical music plays]
So how did you manage
to get my sister to help us anyway?
I told you I'd handle it.
- That's it?
- Yes.
So you need to help out a bit more
at the Yangpa, hand out some flyers.
And be a little nicer to her.
There we go.
So, smile.
Next we see
the dimensional travel science project
by Bulien Jam and Koon Jim.
You know what?
You look a lot like
this famous rapper guy.
Tonight we bang, oh, yeah ♪
- J Dollar Dollar N.
- Wait, what? No.
People often mistake me for him.
That's a little bit like
Schrödinger's cat
May I introduce to you,
- Joon.
- Koon!
And Bulien. That's me.
It was Magellan's dream
to sail around the world.
It was the Wright brothers' dream to fly.
It is Elon Musk's dream to travel to Mars.
The tennis player?
But the greatest secrets are not on Mars.
They are right next to us.
And that is why we move on to our dream.
Here is our research project
on traveling through other dimensions.
- What is that?
- I'll explain briefly, okay?
Is that broccoli?
[Julien] Well, this is me and this is Koon
in the parallel dimension
from which we arrived.
This is a 5G mast and this is a car.
Our car, Knight Rider.
Nobody knows anyway
Here we see a tiny award
I won the day of the accident.
- Personality of the Year. Whoo-hoo!
- Personality of the Year?
- Joon starts singing super loud, then
- [whispering] That's not true.
- What not true?
- I didn't sing!
- Can you get to the point?
- [Julien] Yes, of course.
The day of the accident,
we crash the car into the 5G mast.
I slam through the windscreen
into another dimension.
That's bullshit!
And what is this thing underneath?
The radiation from the 5G mast is the same
as from our upgraded microwave.
And this has something to do with this!
[static warbling]
[judge] Chicos, chicos!
You guys are creative.
I can feel your passion.
But what you are telling me
is science fiction.
Much more fiction than science.
I'm sorry. Lo siento!
- What a load of bollocks!
- Bollocks?
Yes. Yes, exactly. "What bollocks."
That's what the Catholic Church said
when Galileo claimed
the Earth revolved around the sun.
The guitar player?
And "bollocks,"
said the Academy of Sciences
when Marie Curie
first pitched radioactivity.
[Lia] Seriously?
Well, good luck getting back.
Next, please.
You have to listen. We can't go back!
- Yeah, we can't go back.
- Thank you. Next group please.
Hey, are you okay?
Let me help you with that.
No, no, no!
I thought your project
was really exciting!
Don't let them discourage you, okay?
No, not at all, no.
Roads were made for journeys.
What doesn't kill you
makes you stronger, et cetera.
Uh, we need a minute to ourselves.
- Okay.
- Take care.
[Julien, in English] Strange.
- [Joon] Now what?
- [Julien] No idea.
She was our only chance.
We screwed it up.
"We"? You fucked up!
"I slammed through the windscreen."
- Who believes shit like that?
- You fucked up!
At least I showed some passion.
Your performance was super whack!
Looks like we have to stay here.
I mean, things are going well
for me in this world.
- [male student] Joon!
- What's up?
Super honorless move!
[in English] Yeah, man!
Shame on you, Joon!
[in German] Mehmet destroyed you, dude!
Damn, he did!
I swear,
J$$N and his bodyguard came to my house,
threatened me,
stole my data and beat me up.
Goes to show that J$$N
can't accept criticism.
- That really wasn't cool.
- Well?
Still want to stay here?
Stealing Mehmet's stuff.
That was your idea, man!
You're the one who locked him in a trunk!
Shut up!
Don't you have any other family members
you need to hit on?
Yes, I do!
[grunts] Your mother!
Joon, wait!
At least take the microwave.
[man through speaker] Everything's okay.
You don't have any problems.
Don't think of your mother.
Think of a citrus.
[mobile vibrating]
Now take a deep breath.
Nothing can make you angry.
[audio stops]
I used to be a fan,
but all I see now is a narcissistic child.
I bet he doesn't even
write his own lyrics.
- And the thing with his sister?
- [exhales]
- Dude, family is everything!
- Fuck!
[Julien] Fuck.
First time I saw Joon that angry
was when I kicked him in the nuts
in first grade.
And now I was stuck here.
Is that what they mean by karma?
[bike bell jingles]
- Hey.
- Dr. Sillberg!
You're either the biggest dorks,
or you really are dimensional travelers.
Probably both, though.
[Lia] Shoes off!
Sorry I kicked you out, but in front
of those long-established colleagues
My research has been
made fun of enough as it is.
But I've never seen
anything like your phone.
With that you can prove it to everyone.
Can I see it again?
Yes. By the way,
this is actually not my phone.
It belongs to the other me
from this world.
- I am not liable for the photos.
- Of course. I know.
But you're still looking at the photos.
I can see that you're scrolling.
Turtles and feet.
[Julien] Wait, let me
show you something. Look!
That's me.
This is where I am from.
You know the Federal Chancellor.
And who is that?
The reason I want to go back.
Anyway, the microwave
has just the right radiation
for the mobile phone
to build up this mini-bridge.
Is this your work?
No, that's Hana's.
Joon's Koon's "sister."
- And what's she researching at the moment?
- Best cooking time for ramen?
[in English] Julien, by the way.
[in German]
Bulien was just an undercover name.
And you're a traveler too?
Not yet. But I was able
to prove the existence of matter
and energy in a parallel dimension.
But it hasn't been enough
for a direct exchange between dimensions.
By the way, your car crash into the mast
unlocked a transition
between the dimensions,
which only came about because
the other versions of Julien and Joon
must have crashed at the same moment
in the same place here.
This is how the masts, at the same time,
became transmitters and receivers.
And therefore,
your consciousness changed bodies.
Which is why it didn't work
last time we tried.
We tried to crash
into the mast with a car.
But without our fake versions
Well, without our fake selves
doing the same thing.
You guys must actually be
a little tired of life, right?
But there might be an alternative
without a crash.
But how at the same time?
I mean, I can no longer
send messages to my world.
No messages, no calls, nothing.
Let me try something.
I'll help you.
But if I get you back to your world,
you leave me the phone, okay?
[mobile beeping]
[closing theme music playing]
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