Lost In Space (1965) s03e19 Episode Script

The Promised Planet

Oh, Dr.
Smith, do please try and have some of this broth.
I made it especially for you.
Thank you.
No, madam.
I have no appetite for food.
- Well, he really must be sick.
- Not merely sick, Major but on the brink of the long long journey to that undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns.
Thank you, one and all for standing the deathwatch at my bed.
Smith, no one's standing at deathwatch.
You've just got us all worried.
I mean, you're not that old.
I'm not old at all, William.
I'm ill.
Oh, sadness, oh, sorrow.
Major, I want you to know that I bear you no grudge because of your failure to get us home.
And, madam, please tell your husband for me that I forgive him.
I also bear him no malice.
Dear children, try not to miss me too much.
Just a few tears every day to remember me by.
Penny, dear, surely you're not crying already? Well, not exactly.
It's just what you said sounds awfully icky.
Oh! The insensitiveness of youth.
[ Robot Beeping ] All hands, hear this! My astral calculations indicate that we have a lock - on the star system of the Alpha Centauri! - [ Excited Chatter ] - It can't be.
- [ Judy, Penny Exclaiming ] Did you hear that, Dr.
Smith? Hey, you sat up! Pure reflex-- I was not aware of it.
To think that they'd all go and leave me here alone to die just for a glimpse at some wretched star! But it's Alpha Centauri-- our destination! I've got to see it too! Alpha Centauri, indeed.
Oh, well, I suppose it's better than nothing.
Ooh, the pain, the pain.
Why couldn't it be Earth? "And if our space research is reliable, as we believe it to be "America's first family in space will discover "when they are within direct observational range of the system "that at least two of the planets which attend Alpha Centauri Yes, but not necessarily terrestrial.
Now, that I intend to find out right now.
This is the United States Space Vehicle Jupiter 2 John Robinson commanding.
[ Man ] Jupiter 2? This is Interstellar Relay Station 9, transmitting from planet Delta in the binary star system of Alpha and Proxima Centauri.
Bartholomew speaking.
Do you read me? We read you loud and clear, planet Delta.
Question-- Am I correct in assuming that the planet below contains terrestrial life-forms? - Over.
- There has been terrestrial life on all habitable planets within the system for three years.
Sure glad you finally made it, Jupiter 2! - If we'd known you were coming, we'd have baked a cake.
- They're Americans! We read that.
What did you expect? Centipedes, lizards, six-legged pygmies with bald heads and antenna ears? Seriously now, we've got you on ground control guidance, soft landing guaranteed.
So just sit back and relax, okay? Bartholomew signing off.
Over and out.
Do you remember anyone by the name of Bartholomew at Alpha Control? No.
But they must have quite a community down there if they've been sending families all along.
Which makes me feel a little like Mrs.
Rip Van Winkle.
Look! [ Yelling ] Man the pumps! - All hands to the fire extinguishers! - Relax, Dr.
Our arrival on the planet Delta is being hailed by a spectacular display of electronic pyrotechnics.
Enjoy! Enjoy! [ Bartholomew ] One minute to entry.
Prepare for soft landing.
All right, everybody.
Well, here they come.
Let's go down and meet them.
- Robot, secure all systems.
- Affirmative! Welcome to the planet Delta.
I'm Bartholomew.
So, you were the first family in space in the good old Jupiter 2.
That's quite a survival story.
Earth'll go wild when they hear it.
Uh, you're Professor Robinson, right? - That's right.
- I recognize you all from your photographs.
- Mrs.
- Oh, thank you very much.
They're just lovely.
Major West.
- Judy, I think.
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, thank you.
And Penny.
- Oh! - And Will.
- And who do we have here? - I am-- - Why it's Methuselah.
- Methuselah, indeed! I am Dr.
Zachary Smith, an outstanding exponent of intergalactic environmental psychology.
I came aboard at the last moment under sealed orders.
I believe the professor will attest to that.
Yes, he did come aboard at the last moment.
Oh, he's with you now.
That's all that really matters.
Welcome, Dr.
- We had one left over.
- Why, thank you, young man.
How very nice.
I do like young people with manners.
Now would you excuse me? I shall place these in water - and freshen up to meet your governor.
- Hurry now, Dr.
In a jiffy, young man.
I shall be back in a jiffy.
I, uh, guess you should know that planet Delta's an advance station for new arrivals-- orientation, processing, all that jazz.
Our main colony's on planet Gamma.
We run a shuttle over there twice a week.
Who's in command of this advance station? I might know him.
We have no chain of command here, Professor Robinson.
I just happened to monitor your approach so you were my baby, I guess.
You seem awfully young to be acting as an official greeter.
Well, thank you for the compliment, Mrs.
Uh, there's a buffet supper waiting for you over in Processing also sleeping accommodations.
Tomorrow evening when you're more rested you might start making out individual reports of your flight.
Earth'll be needing them as soon as possible.
The boys'll conduct you to your quarters.
- All right.
- Penny and Will, you'll come with me.
We have separate quarters for the younger arrivals.
- Is that necessary? - It's just one of those Alpha regulations we've been trying to change for a year.
- I'd rather they stay with us.
- Don't tell me they still need tucking in at night.
- They'll be quite safe, you know.
- Dad, don't embarrass me.
I'll be all right, and so will Penny.
I mean, there's nothing wrong in being with kids our own age.
Of course, if you really insist on breaking the regulation-- Well, I'll overlook it this time.
After all, you've been out there for so long you can hardly be expected to know where it's at.
Go ahead with Mommy and Daddy, kiddies.
Uh, just a moment, Bartholomew.
Perhaps you're right.
Maybe we have been out there too long.
- All right, children.
Go with them.
- Thanks, Dad.
- Bye, all.
- Detail, forward, march! Fall in! - Please? - Why not? Thank you.
Forward, march! Wait for me! Wait for me! We don't keep new arrivals here long.
A couple of nights of adjustment, and you'll be on your way to a good life.
Gosh, you sure make it sound exciting.
"Gosh"? Gosh? That's an "in" word! Real in in the squaresville dictionary.
Follow me.
- Uh, you cats tired or hungry? - Uh-uh.
- Not really.
- Then we can get started on your processing and adjustment right away.
Those olders, all they ever think about is eating and sleeping.
- Not all the time.
- You're right.
In their spare time, they're lecturing the youngers.
That's their hang-up.
Step this way.
Hey, Bartholomew's not with us.
We're alone.
## [ Galactic Rock ] - [ Klaxon Blaring ] - ## [ Ends ] [ Male Voice ] Welcome, youngers! This is your chief adjuster speaking.
You are not alone.
There are many of us.
We are your friends--your contemporaries.
Hi, Will Robinson! Hi, Penny! - Hi.
- Hi.
We're all ready for you in Cubicle Z-7, Will.
You're in Cubicle Z-8, Penny.
Get going, kids! The sooner we get started, the sooner you'll be out of here! Oh, it's okay, Penny.
This is just the way they do things now.
I mean, there's nothing to be afraid of.
All right, Will.
Press the operation start switch.
## [ Rock ] - You dig that sound, Will? - No, not exactly.
Soon enough you'll wonder how you ever did without it! - ## [ Blaring ] - Pay attention now! Your pass grade is 90! We'll start with celestial navigation.
The celestial triangle is formed on the celestial sphere by the great circles connecting the elevated pole, zenith of the assumed position of the observer and a celestial body.
Mark your assumed position in the triangle by depressing the correct key.
- You have five seconds.
- I can't even hear myself think! - ## [ Continues ] - Two seconds.
- [ Klaxon Blares ] - You'll have to do much better than that to get through.
- [ Klaxon Blares ] - You'll have to do much better than that to get through.
Next question.
Look at the screen.
Name 10 of the navigation stars you just saw on the screen.
You have ten seconds.
Uh, Canopus, Polaris, uh, Vegus-- It's too fast! I can't remember! I need more time! That's what the olders always say.
[ Chuckles ] "Give me more time.
" You've been around them too long.
Your loyalty's very misguided.
[ Chuckles ] Next question-- [ Female Voice ] And the intensity of the sky's blueness is measured by entropy, geodesy, actinometry.
- Which? - Eh, actinometry? No, Penny.
The answer is cyanometry.
You're rather slow, aren't you? Or are we too fast for you? It's just I'm not used to learning anything this way, that's all.
You'll get used to it very soon, once you're free of former associations.
- I don't understand! - Concentrate on the questions, Penny.
Listen to the sound.
You do want to qualify for the main colony on planet Gamma, don't you? - It's a fun colony.
- Oh, yes! - Good.
- ## [ Continues ] [ Dr.
Smith ] prospect of hurtling through space until the end of time [ Dr.
Smith ] prospect of hurtling through space until the end of time I urged my fellow voyagers to be of good cheer and-- Knock it off, Smith! You've been blabbering into that machine for hours now.
And every hour on the hour you've saved our lives.
Spare me the acidulous asides, Major.
My individual report tells the truth as I see it.
Aw, sure.
Well, as I see it ever since we've arrived here they've fed us by automatic buffet put us to sleep by "Brahms's Lullaby," also automatic.
We haven't seen sunlight nor moonlight for that fact and our only contact's been with a teenager named Bartholomew.
Yes, but he seemed very mature.
You're worried about Will and Penny, aren't you? Well, I'm puzzled.
I mean, why the separation? And-And what's with these tape machines? Why not a regular debriefing as these things are usually done? Were usually done, Dad.
Well, I intend to find out exactly how they're done now.
And by someone a little older than Bartholomew.
[ Female Voice ] Planet Delta Message Center.
Your message, please? This is John Robinson.
I'd like to speak to the commandant.
There is no commandant on planet Delta, Robinson.
All right.
Let me speak to Bartholomew.
I'm sorry.
He's en route to planet Gamma.
Then I'd like to speak to my son, Will, or my daughter, Penny.
I'm sorry, Robinson.
Younger arrivals cannot be interrupted during their adjustment period.
I will hold your call until the period is over.
- You will be called.
- Well, how soon will that be? I asked how soon will that be? - There you are.
- Hmm.
I wonder what they mean by an adjustment period? That can't be part of their processing.
- Well, there's one way to find out.
- John.
Look, we know that there's an American colony here or on planet Gamma.
Now, we've been out there a long time, and this is all new to us.
Maybe they're just giving us time to get used to it.
We mustn't be suspicious.
Well, let's-- let's just say I'm being curious, huh? - Now, may I continue my individual report? - You may.
Just as long as you remember there were a couple of times that we saved your life.
Really? I do not recall any such occasions.
Now, where was I? This is John Robinson from the Earth ship Jupiter 2 transmitting from the planet Delta.
Come in someone! Anyone! [ Computer Voice: Male ] You are transmitting on a prohibited frequency.
- Please disconnect immediately.
- Prohibited or not there's something I have to know.
All right, Will.
Let's go back to your own good old solar system for the next question.
The Great Red Spot is a visible feature of the planet Uranus.
True or false? - You have one second.
- [ Klaxon Blares ] Too bad! I might have been able to push you through if you'd answered that one correctly.
I guess I'm just not good enough to make the passing grade.
I'll go tell my father.
- What's the rush, man? - Who are you? - Edgar.
I was in your honor guard, remember? - Oh, sure.
And now they've elected me to be your guide to the promised land meaning planet Gamma, if, as, and when you make it through adjustment which I very much doubt you will, but I guess I'll have to try.
You mean you're going to help me? Well, that's par for the course with creepy greenhorns like you.
Man, did you foul up on your first go-around.
What kind of education have you been getting from them olders of yours, man? They're strictly "de-crepit.
" You're talking about my family.
Get one thing straight, frosh baby.
On planet Gamma, there's just one family-- us.
Come on.
Let's get over to the local pad I've got here and see if you're sharp enough to take a little private coaching.
But-But Penny.
Look, don't worry about your sister.
She's, uh-- She's doing okay.
## [ Rock ] ## [ Continues ] - ## [ Continues ] - Penny! ## [ Continues ] Penny! Stop it! Penny! I said stop it! [ Klaxon Sounds ] ## [ Stops ] Thanks.
You've messed up the action but good.
I was just beginning to get with it.
Well, get with what, this music, all these lights? Well, certainly, that couldn't have been part of your processing.
Now, what's this all about, Penny? Planet Gamma's what it's all about.
But it's hopeless trying to explain it to olders like you.
You just don't get the vibrations like I do.
You're right.
I don't get them the way you do.
We're going back to the ship, and we're going to stay there until I can contact someone who can tell me what the-- Who can explain what this is all about.
Oh, yes.
There is one other thing.
- Where's Will? - Oh, he's probably on his way to planet Gamma.
On his own? Well, why wasn't I told about that? Oh, cool it, man.
Will's a big boy now, and I'm a big girl.
So why don't you just go back with the rest of the olders and leave us to do our thing.
- You don't belong here.
- You're right.
But you do belong with us, Penny.
Oh, here it comes, that sentimental gush about parents and their children, right? Well, that's for the birds.
Olders are out now.
We're in.
- [ Klaxon Blares ] - ## [ Rock ] Penny! Penny, get down from there! - ## [ Continues ] - Penny! [ Intercom: Male Voice ] This area is off limits to older arrivals.
All older arrivals clear the area immediately.
## [ Continues ] Penny! Penny! ## [ Continues ] And fizz me a phosphate refill.
No ice cream this time.
[ Whirring ] - Help yourself to a jawbreaker.
- Thanks, but no thanks.
Still hung up on the square bit, eh, frosh baby? Still playing the olders' game? Look, I'm not playing anybody's game.
I just can't be any different from what I am.
And if that means I'm not smart enough to make your passing grade-- You're smart enough.
All you have to do is just let go.
- Let go of what? - Mama and Papa, frosh baby.
Just tune out those senior citizens and you'll be able to breeze through your adjustment course.
Olders are out, frosh baby-- permanently and definitely out.
Light up one of these memory cones when you get back in your cubicle.
They, uh, smell like incense.
Gives you instant memory and makes you learn fast.
## [ Continues ] Man, what a pad! It's a gas! Nothing as good as what you've got waiting for you on planet Gamma.
- Did you make the passing grade? - What else? [ Sighs ] So, it appears that this entire colony is meant for youngsters only.
Now they're conditioned to this by being taught that the oldsters-- oldsters, that's us-- are superfluous.
- Superfluous, indeed.
- Where do you think you're going? To deliver these priceless recordings of my space odyssey.
The moment those whippersnappers hear them they'll realize that I, for one, am not superfluous.
- Smith-- - Oh, let him go.
Let him go.
Every room in this place is exactly alike-- - six walls, six doors.
- I happen to admire symmetry.
Stand aside, Major.
Well, now that he's gone, maybe we can get something done.
[ Chuckles ] You know, this is all so bizarre.
Superfluous oldsters-- us? - [ Scoffing Chuckle ] - What if we are? What happens now? Where do we go from here? [ Female Voice ] Planet Delta Message Center.
Your message please.
This is John Robinson.
I want to speak to my son, Will.
- We are still holding your previous call, Robinson.
- I know.
Where is he? Both Will and Penny Robinson are in the final phase of their adjustment period.
You will be called in 30 minutes.
All right.
We'll give them 30 minutes.
Now, if we hear nothing by then we'll go in and get our children by force if necessary.
By force? But they're all children.
Children that are trying to take over our children and convince them that even Judy is obsolete, aren't really children, Maureen.
I don't feel obsolete.
[ Fan Whirring ] [ Male Voice ] Four olders now in suspended state under influence of memory-washing fumes.
Continue treatment until further notice.
Yoo-hoo! Anyone home? Apparently not.
Hello? Nobody here, either.
That seems very strange.
They're probably all out to lunch.
I must say, this entire establishment is very poorly run.
Undoubtedly they could use the services of an efficiency expert.
Unfortunately I do not have the time.
[ Cries Out ] Now, what have we here? Seems to be very interesting.
- I wonder what this button will do? - [ Klaxon Blaring ] Oh, dear.
I've activated some sort of alarm.
## [ Rock ] What is this? Some sort of dance movement? Well, it's ridiculous.
I prefer the old-fashioned waltz - or a lovely two-step.
- ## [ Stops ] [ Male Voice ] The female younger is prepared to cooperate with us.
The male younger is still opposed and negative in his responses.
We are continuing.
This is Bartholomew from Central Control.
Over and out.
Ba-- Bartholomew? Oh, no.
It couldn't be.
It's not possible.
Oh, good heavens.
I've been deceived.
My space odyssey might have fallen into alien hands! [ Cries Out ] Who are you? You-- You cannot be Bartholomew.
You haven't forgotten me already, Smith, have you? I am Bartholomew! Don't you recognize me? Well, you see, I-- - [ Gulps ] - Well, don't you? Yes.
Yes, of course.
I do, now that you mention it.
So good to see you again, dear boy! - For a moment, I thought you were-- - An alien.
Silly of me, wasn't it? I-I mean to say, you look so normal like any other friendly, cheerful American boy.
And you're going to go on believing that, aren't you, Smith? Yes.
Yes, of course, I am.
And you better believe that, Smith from here on out.
And if it should ever occur to you again that this is an alien planet and that Bartholomew is really an alien or if you should consider mentioning it to anyone no Smith.
- You dig? - [ Gulps ] Yes.
Yes, of course, I dig.
And, now, would you excuse me? So frightfully busy, you know.
I must get back to processing.
[ Gasps ] You're through with processing, Smith.
You're one of us now-- a cheerful [ Bartholomew, Smith ] friendly, all-American boy.
- [ Whirring, Thunderous Bang ] - [ Yelps ] You look almost as young as I do now, Smith.
How does it feel? Groovy, man.
Out of sight.
- Where is the action? - [ Bones Creaking ] You'll get all the action you want, Smith, just like all us youngers after you've persuaded Will to drop his hang-ups and make our scene, not his folks'! - You get the idea? - Indeed, I do.
I mean, I dig, man.
I dig.
Just keep remembering that.
Get going! They're in Edgar's pad.
Escort! ## [ Rock ] ## [ Rock ] I've had enough of this, Penny.
We're getting out of here, and I mean now! - Oh, get lost, square.
- Penny, this is all wrong! It's crazy! - [ Door Whirs Open ] - ## [ Continues ] [ Will ] Dr.
Smith, what happened to you? How did you get here? It's, like, freaky, man! Real freaky! We're gonna freak out together! I'm way out, man, like the rest of you cats! - Hey, man, you really groove! - Yeah! And we gotta persuade William to groove with us! I can't stand it! We're getting out of here! Cool it, frosh! Come on! Oh, dear! Come back! Come back! I don't want to lose my youth! [ Groans ] Dad! Mom! Look, I'm not staying in there another minute, neither is Penny! Now, I know I had a hard time getting her to-- Uh, just a minute.
You called me "Dad.
" Is that another one of those expressions that you so freely use down here? Don't you start too.
I've always called you Dad.
Well, it would be all right for you to call me Dad if you were my son.
Dad, I am your son! I'm Will! - This is Penny, your daughter! - We only have one child.
Her name is Judy.
Wait! Sorry, son.
No visitors.
But, Dad, just ask the Robot.
He'll tell you who we are! - Dad, let me just talk to him! - We don't need to ask a robot what's perfectly obvious.
That this is some sort of joke, hmm? Now, when we take off, I want you to stand clear of this area.
- Our thrusters put out an awful lot of heat.
- [ Will ] Wait.
You'll need these more than I will.
- What are they? - Light 'em up and-- and find out.
By that time, it'll be too late.
[ Penny Sobbing ] You and your sister better get home before your parents start worrying about you.
- Dad-- - Go on.
Go ahead.
Oh, no.
Please don't leave them here with these-- Try that again and there will be no Smith.
Let 'em go, kids! They don't know where it's at, the way we youngers do.
Let's go and find some action! Dr.
Smith, you don't know what you're talking about.
[ Thrusters Roaring ] Now that we've given them the brush maybe you cats are ready to pick up on your adjustment courses where you left off.
Oh, we cats are ready, man! Forget it, Bartholomew.
I'm dropping out! - William! - [ Penny ] So am I! All right, maybe I did go along with it for a while but I never would have if I'd known it would have meant getting rid of my folks! Man, what a hang-up! I can see we're gonna have to start you kids all over again, from scratch! And another thing-- dropouts are not allowed.
I dig, man.
I'll work on them for you.
It's you who needs working on, Methuselah.
Forward, march! Professor Robinson, I have a confession to make.
Now, that we are again in flight, I realize that my earlier calculations were erroneous.
The planet we have just left was not in the planetary system of Alpha Centauri.
- Well, I checked your calculations.
- You were misled just as I was by the magnetic impulses directed toward us by the planet Delta.
And another thing.
The life-forms on the planet Delta were not terrestrial.
- They are alien.
- Then we're well out of it.
However, Will and Penny Robinson are not.
Will and Penny, huh? Don't tell me you're in on that gag.
It is no gag, Professor Robinson.
Only now, when I am free of those magnetic impulses am I able to determine what happened.
Your memories of Will and Penny-- not to mention Dr.
Smith-- were blanked out by an alien smoke screen.
What are we gonna do with him? He's slipped his tapes.
Professor Robinson, I detect the presence of a number of chemical cones.
I believe you were told, and I quote: "Light 'em up and find out.
" I suggest Mrs.
Robinson and Miss Judy will want to be present at the lighting.
And they are at this moment on their way now.
John, what is this? I could hear it on the intercom.
We'll find out soon.
[ Cone Sizzling ] [ Will's Voice ] I've always called you Dad.
It'd be all right to call me Dad if I was your father.
[ Will ] Dad, I'm your son! I'm Will! This is Penny, your daughter! Don, full power! We're going back! Jupiter 2, this is Bartholomew.
Your flight is being monitored.
If you value your lives you will abort your attempt to return to planet Delta.
- Now! - We want Will and Penny back, Bartholomew.
- And we're coming back to get them! - All right.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
Here's some music to fly by.
## [ Deafening Rock ] - [ Billiard Balls Clacking ] - Dr.
Smith? Ahhh.
You cats looking for a game? Glad to oblige.
I'm a whiz at this so I'll keep the stakes kind of easy.
What's happening? You two slumming or something? Well, listen to me.
This joint ain't for sightseers! So, on your way, punks! Boy, what have they done to you, Dr.
Smith? Nobody did nothing to me.
I did it all myself, and I like it! I'm tuned in, turned on, and now I got big plans.
Gonna be dropping out in a big way! You can't turn on at your age, Dr.
Unless, they made you into a younger.
Yeah, that's what I am, a younger.
But I'm growing up fast.
Smith, why don't you just knock it off and act your age? Don't get fresh with me, punk! Now split! Both of ya.
Much as we'd like to, we're stuck here, just like you are.
Come on, Penny.
- [ Klaxon Blaring ] - ## [ Rock ] Penny, don't! Don't! Fight it! - You've gotta resist it! - Oh, I'm trying, but it's so hard not to! Penny, if you don't resist it, we'll never get out of here! [ Chief Adjuster ] We're waiting for you in Cubicle Z-7, Will.
[ Female Voice ] We're waiting for you in Cubicle Z-8, Penny.
- I'm not going! - Neither am I! [ Smith ] Cool, man! [ Klaxon Sounds ] ## [ Stops ] Bart, get a load of this backspin.
[ Bartholomew ] Get off my back, punk.
Pitiful, isn't it, when olders insist on being youngers? Course, we had to accommodate him.
He was a very apt student.
If you think anything like that's gonna work with us-- It wouldn't have worked with him if he hadn't gone along with the idea.
He was cooperative.
You're not.
- And we don't intend to be.
- Come with me.
Now, look, Bartholomew.
We're just not going to adjust to what you want.
- And that's final.
- Is it? Look.
They were on their way back here, but they'll never make it unless you cats give up and get with it.
That's your doing, isn't it? I was right.
You are aliens! If you look at it my way, it's you who are the aliens.
They're out of control.
They're going to be killed! - Why are you doing this? What do you want? - Your full cooperation.
All right, you've got it! Anything! Just get them out of there! But what do you want our cooperation for? What good will it do you? We're youngers.
Yeah, but that's all we are! We don't grow up, see? We don't grow up ever! And that's what we want! We want to grow up! We want to grow up! And the only way we can do it is through you and you! It's the only way! All right.
If that's what you want to be able to grow old, to be like the olders why do you always put them down? Because we can't make their scene.
But you're our age.
You re gonna grow older.
That's why you can help us make it.
How do we get them out of trouble? Tell 'em you don't need 'em.
They can reverse course.
You're on their frequency.
Hey, Jupiter.
This is Will.
Do you read me? Will! Are you okay? Is Penny with you? Just relax, Pops! We're okay.
And one thing we don't need is any help from you! So, why don't you just quit making with the hero bit and reverse course.
- Split the scene, man! - Listen to me, Will.
We're coming after you.
Man, are you psyched-out.
If you come any closer, you're just gonna get yourselves killed! And I wouldn't want that to happen not even to a bunch of squares like you.
Let me talk to Penny.
[ Voice Trembling ] Look, man.
We just don't groove to the same vibrations.
Ciao, man.
All right.
We'll reverse course.
- Out.
- Oh, John, you can't.
If you mean reverse course, I don't intend to.
I don't think the children meant what they said.
Neither did I.
We may still be on their monitors.
Reverse course.
- Reverse course, it is.
- [ Thrusters Firing ] In five minutes put us right back on course.
Five minutes.
I got to hand it to you cats.
You really put 'em down.
Ciao, squares.
You can have the rest of the day to yourselves, kids.
- Transfusions can wait till tomorrow.
- Transfusions? How else do you think we can groove without that aging chemistry you've got? Dad didn't even argue with us.
He agreed to change course right away.
But he knew who we were.
So those memory cones I gave him must have worked.
You know what I think, Penny? - I think he just agreed to change course.
- I sure hope you're right.
Now, if he comes back, we're gonna have to make sure that they're not monitoring the Jupiter's approach.
- But how? - I've got a plan.
Come on.
Well, well, well.
The snoopy tourists are back.
Hey, man, how'd you like to pull off a little heist? Groovy.
I'd like it fine.
What's in it for me? - We split three ways.
- Uh-uh.
No dice.
Seventy-five percent for me.
You two split the rest.
[ Clucks Tongue ] You're a hard man.
You're a hard man.
Yeah, I'm a hard man.
Well, all right.
It's a deal.
Here's the layout, see.
Now over there, there's a relay station just loaded with hard-to-get transmission stuff and junk like that.
It'll fetch a big price, you dig? Cool it.
Are you sure this ain't no frame? - Uh-uhh.
- Uh-uhh.
- We're with you all the way, Smitty.
- Watch it, punk.
Don't call me Smitty till we pull off this heist, see? Until then, we're just business partners, dig? - I dig.
- We dig.
You two cats stay here and keep your eyes open while I go case the joint.
[ Blows On Fingers ] I sure hope he doesn't ruin everything.
Are you kidding? I hope he does including their monitoring system.
Loot! Lots of loot! [ Male Computer Voice ] You are transmitting on a prohibited frequency.
- Please disconnect.
- Yeah! - I'll disconnect.
- [ Panel Whirs ] I didn't mean nothing, Bart.
I just happened to be passing by.
- Who put you up to this? - Well, I wouldn't do anything to hurt you, Bart.
Why, you and me, we are brother cats.
Uh, this one goes there.
[ Twittering ] They're on their way back.
We've got to throw up another barrier.
Take care of the console, Edgar.
I'll take care of their kids.
I do hate to disturb you.
But you ain't figuring on rubbing me out, are you? We already figured, Methuselah.
Right on course.
- How long to reentry? - About three minutes.
Danger! Danger! Destruct missiles approaching fast! Evade! Evade! The next one could be right on target.
Correct angle of descent.
We're going straight in! It's tomorrow, cats.
- What do you mean? - The transfusions.
I thought you were really with it until you got Methuselah to mess with our relay station.
Now we'll have to hurry, and it won't be too easy on you squares.
Get 'em ready! I can't tell whether it's working or not.
I haven't got any picture.
Serves you right! Where are they? - Who are you talking about, man? - You know who he's talking about.
You're gonna take us to them.
Come on! - Hey! Hey, watch it! That hurts! - Get going! [ Cries Out ] Oh, dear.
I'm afraid this is all too groovy for me.
Let me out! Let me out! I'm innocent! - Drop it! - Dad! Will and Penny are my children.
Release them, and we'll leave.
- Or what? - I don't use threats on children, Bartholomew.
When I ask them to do something, I expect them to comply.
You olders really think you've got it made, don't you? No, we don't have it made, Bartholomew, not any more than you do.
That's something you'll understand when you're a little older.
They can't get any older, Dad.
That's why they need us.
All I want to do is be able to shave, see? - [ Switch Clicks ] - [ Klaxon Sounds ] ## [ Deafening Rock ] ## [ Continues ] ## [ Continues ] - ## [ Stops Abruptly ] - [ Male Alien Voice ] We have failed, Bartholomew.
We must reconcile ourselves to the fact that we can never grow older that as time takes the Earthlings forward it takes us back-- back to our end.
There'll be others! [ Smith ] Wait for me! William, wait for me! [ Groans ] I've had enough of these dreadful things.
William, how could you! You were going to leave me here with those dreadful cats.
Well, we thought you were really grooving with them, Dr.
Grooving, indeed.
I prefer the minuet.
[ John ] Let's go! - Well, I guess we're in the clear now.
- I hope so.
I wonder what kind of physiology they had that prevented them from growing? Well, it could be their psychology.
Now if their minds would grow up enough for them to accept us, maybe their bodies would too.
I guess we better start our scan for the real Alpha Centauri now.
Real Alpha Centauri, indeed.
From this moment on, the direction of our navigation must be toward one goal and one only-- Earth.
Man, what a hang-up!