Love Life (2020) s01e09 Episode Script

Augie Again

[female narrator] Once the average adult
has gone through their first stream
of failed relationships,
it is only natural for them
to start looking backwards,
to wonder who could've been
the right person
had timing only been on their side.
Perhaps if you had only done
that one thing differently
or not picked that fight,
you would've saved yourself
from an abyss of bad dates.
Many are merely left guessing,
the fantasy of reconnection
never coming to fruition,
but never dying, either.
While others get that second chance
and are able to see for certain
whether timing really was
the impediment in the first place.
But none of this was so for Darby,
who by this point had managed
to block such fantasies
out of her head entirely.
Instead, she had accidentally
distracted herself
with the simple act of living her life.
I'm gonna place more of these pieces.
What? No, you're not.
It's Thanksgiving. Get out of here.
I'm gonna get a jump start.
Come on, come to our place.
I have plans.
I'm supposed to do
a Friendsgiving thing in Jersey.
That's perfect.
The point of Thanksgiving
is to have a great time with your friends
or an awful time with your family.
- Very true.
- Yeah.
["Nothing I'd Rather Be
Than Your Weakness" playing]
[people speaking indistinctly]
- Jim.
- Darby.
- Hi.
- My God. I'm so glad you actually came.
Of course. Happy, um
What did you call it
in the email, Jims-giving?
- Thanks-Jiming.
- It should be Jims-giving.
Yeah, well, maybe.
But it is Thanks-Jiming,
so let's all just stick to that.
Uh, Darby, Laurel. Laurel, Darby.
So glad to finally meet you.
I've heard so much about you.
Oh. You too.
Did you get a seasonal autumnal cocktail?
Thank you.
- Um, I brought these.
- [Laurel] Oh, perfect.
- [Jim] Fantastic. Thank you.
- [Laurel] Thank you so much.
- I'm gonna check on the turkey.
- You don't have to.
The meat thermometer is precise.
Like, I researched the best ones
before pulling the trigger.
- It has Bluetooth.
- [chuckles]
You're so cute, baby,
but I'm gonna check it anyway.
- Okay.
- Okay?
- She seems nice.
- Yeah. Yeah.
I don't think it's serious.
Oh. Okay.
Maybe it's serious. I'm not sure.
All good, all good.
It's weird, right? Having Thanksgiving
without all of our people?
Yeah. Yeah.
Have you, um
Have you heard from her at all?
Uh, not directly, but
I mean, I heard she's in rehab.
- Oh.
- Yeah.
- Wow. Good, good.
- Yeah.
I know, I really want to call her,
but, um, I don't know if I'm ready
and I want to make sure she's settled,
in a better place, and all that.
- [device beeps]
- Right. That's smart.
[Laurel] Jim, I can't figure out
the thermometer. It won't stop beeping.
I think Jim said you have
to use the app or something.
[Jim] Well, I'm gonna go help
and you please help yourself
to these adult-ass hors d'oeuvres.
Will do.
Well, well, well.
Well, well, well.
I, uh I didn't know you were coming.
I didn't know you were coming.
Yeah, Jim invited me.
- Oh, same.
- Yeah.
That is very obvious. [chuckles]
So what did you bring
to this glorious feast?
Uh, that one.
- [Augie] These yams?
- Yep.
Interesting, 'cause
I'm pretty sure I made those.
- Really?
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God. We made the same dish.
- Wow.
- That is crazy.
- Yeah, it is.
Identical. No, I, um
- The shitty store-bought ones are mine.
- Ah.
- Yeah.
- Oof.
Don't yam-shame me.
No, I'm already
in a very vulnerable place.
- They look beautiful. Fantastic.
- Thank you.
[ringing bell] Everyone, everyone. Um
Please gather at the table.
The fuck is up with the bell?
- Like a Pavlovian experiment.
- [giggles]
Um We're gonna sit down here.
I just got back
from teaching English in Korea.
I was saving up some money,
you know, seeing some family.
That's amazing.
Yeah, what about you?
Um Well, I
I finally conned my way
into a pretty cool job.
- Nice.
- Um
I got married and I got divorced.
- Holy shit. But
- [glass clinking]
Oh, my God, we've moved on from the bell.
It's now glassware.
So I thought it could be cool
if we all just went around
and said something
we're grateful for this year.
Who wants to start us off?
[Augie] I'll go.
Honestly, I'm just really grateful
to be at this table right now.
We are living
in some really fucked-up times
and I'm trying to focus more
on moments and spaces
where I see and feel love
and generosity passing between people.
Because, uh, maybe I'm idealistic,
but I really do believe that
if we can open ourselves up
just a little more to empathy and hope,
the world will change.
So thank you, everyone,
for bringing that spirit into this home,
and thank you, Laurel and Jim,
for hosting an absolutely
gorgeous Thanksgiv Thanks-Jiming.
- Eh?
- [laughter]
[all] Cheers.
[Laurel] Wow, um
All right, it's gonna be tough
to follow that.
But, uh, I guess I'll give it a try.
[continues indistinctly]
[whispers] That was
really embarrassing for you.
Thank you.
I rehearsed it for hours last night.
I'm an American citizen, right?
If I don't give a fuck about
protecting our human rights
and our democracy,
then how can I expect anybody else to?
Totally, yeah.
You should run for office or something.
You're like Obama.
- I thought about it.
- Yeah?
Want more of this doob?
I'd have to stop smoking weed, so
- Yeah.
- [Augie] Thank you.
I think there's a last hit here,
- if you want it.
- Yeah.
If I had to sum up
what I've learned in the last decade,
- it's that I don't know anything.
- Yeah, no.
I mean, but you know
some things, obviously.
Sure. But even knowledge is subject
to the context of a certain moment.
You know what I realized is
I should stop worrying about
people thinking about
stupid shit that I say
'cause they're worried about
thinking about the stupid shit they say.
- I am paraphrasing, but
- Mmm.
I haven't been this high
since I had a panic attack
in the Times Square Olive Garden.
Oh, shit.
You don't seem that high, though.
[chuckles softly]
No, I always eat pie
straight out of the tin,
- so we're good. Shh!
- [chuckles]
[whispers] We're good.
["Burbank" by Harriet playing]
I am so sorry,
but I need to unbuckle my pants.
Or unbuckle my belt and unbutton my pants.
And it is not a move.
No, I'm jealous
that you have pants to unbutton.
- [exhales]
- Oh, my gosh.
You're more beautiful than I remember.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah.
Can I tell you something crazy?
Sometimes, I wonder what would've happened
if I hadn't had to leave.
You would've saved us several years
of potential exposure to herpes.
Oh, you didn't have it back then?
[both laugh]
- What the fuck was I thinking?
- I don't know.
- Is that okay?
- Yeah.
Do you want to stay over?
- I do.
- Okay.
We were in love ♪
The cigarette ♪
[Darby] Mmm.
- [groans softly]
- What, what?
- Ugh.
- What happened?
- I'm so full.
- [chuckles]
As in, like, too full?
That's okay. I am, too.
[both exhale]
- This is tragic.
- Mmm.
We're finally reunited
and we're too full to fuck.
Yeah. It's a classic TFTF situation
we got on our hands, you know?
- We're better than this.
- Yeah, you're right. Let's do it.
- We can do anything.
- Second wind, here we go. Okay.
- Turkey, weed, couple orgasms.
- Hmm. [chuckles softly]
I think I might sleep for three days.
I'll see you Sunday.
Yeah, I'll see you Sunday.
We were in love ♪
[Darby] You're never gonna guess
who just left my apartment.
Well, that's a nice holiday surprise.
Yeah, I know.
It was like literally no time had passed.
Oh, that's not always a good thing.
What does that mean?
I'm just saying if the milk is sour,
you don't put it back in the fridge,
you throw it out.
Nothing was ever sour.
Okay, I stand corrected.
So tell me everything.
[narrator] Darby and Augie
wasted no time getting back together.
Augie felt like an old pair of jeans,
a welcome reminder
of some other version of herself.
- Hang on.
- [bell jingles]
Hey, merry Christmas, man.
Ah, merry Christmas to you, young man.
[Augie] I respect what you're doing.
How'd you get into this?
Loving is easy ♪
You had me fucked up ♪
It used to be so hard to see ♪
Yeah, loving is easy
When everything's perfect ♪
Please don't change
A single little thing for me ♪
Listen, girl ♪
[Augie] Figure skating's one of those
bucket list things of mine.
- [laughing] What?
- Yeah.
Isn't that something you're supposed
to start when you're two?
I bet I'd be amazing.
[Darby] Let's go then. No time to waste.
- [Augie] I didn't, uh, warm up today
- Oh.
- so I might pull something.
- [laughs]
He should be pulling up here.
Oh, crap.
Uh, never mind. Sorry. Tree.
[Darby] It's like 20 degrees out here.
Hey, for Augie, right? Great, thank you.
Oh, come on, dude!
[Darby] Hey. For Darby, right?
- [driver] Yup.
- Great.
- Wait. Dude!
- Dude.
- Grab that end. It's only ten blocks.
- It's freezing.
- I believe in you.
- Oh, God.
I love this! [exclaims excitedly]
This is a good assembly line we've set up.
Do you have memories of doing this?
- Put it in your beard.
- Thank you.
- We should do it. Yes!
- We should get a puzzle!
Three, two, one, New York City Transit.
- What?
- [laughs]
I had so many questions immediately.
[Augie] Mmm. It's like fiber.
I think the glitter is like Metamucil.
- Oh, you did it. I'm surprised.
- [vocalizing angelic music]
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
[Augie] Hey, come here.
[Darby sighs]
[Darby] Oh, good, you're here.
Lola wants us to help her set up early.
Babe, babe.
Look what I found
on the subway on the way here.
- Oh, my God.
- Yeah.
- Is it okay?
- I think so.
Some asshole left him to die.
It was about to get kicked on the tracks
in front of the R train.
Oh, no. Jesus.
- But Daddy's here.
- Hi.
Wolfgang, this is Mommy.
You named him? Like, we're gonna keep it?
I can't really have pets in my apartment
so I was hoping he could stay here?
I can't have pets in my apartment.
No, I can't.
Well, your landlord's never here, right?
That's true. I'm not sure
that's a persuasive argument.
I couldn't leave him on the subway,
and I can't take him
to the humane society.
I have to see if I have
any friends in the market
for a stupidly adorable animal
who gives out free kisses all the time.
We'll figure it out.
There's blankets under the sink.
Make him a little bed.
But hurry, we need to go.
- Okay. Thank you.
- We're late.
Wolfgang, I'll show you the digs.
- [hip-hop music playing]
- [indistinct conversations]
This artist makes everything
out of waste he finds in the ocean.
He makes his own plastic-free adhesive
to bond the materials.
Isn't this gonna end up
back in the water table anyway?
What do you mean?
Sure, he's picked up some trash,
but eventually it'll just be trash again.
- Well, it's fine art.
- No, for sure.
- So the point is to sell it.
- Right.
We're not gonna
throw it in the Atlantic next week.
Right. It's just, salvaging
some old newspapers and nylon rope
seems like it's trying to sell us on
the idea that climate change is our fault.
When, just 100 companies
are responsible for more than
70% of global carbon emissions.
Right. So it's a complicated issue
I don't think we should fool ourselves
into thinking that this one guy
is solving the actual problem,
which is corporate greed.
I know, it's wild.
- There's a Shapiro I want to show you.
- Cool. Let's.
[door opens]
- [Augie, sing-song] Wolfgang.
- [door closes]
Hey, buddy.
Wolfgang likes his new bed.
You're mad. I know you're mad.
I just wish you hadn't said
a lot of that stuff to Lola
about the art and the trash
and climate change.
We were having a dialogue.
I was engaging with the art.
It came off a little insulting
and I still answer to her.
I'm really sorry, Darby.
Honestly, I did not mean
to come off that way.
Just, the piece was about climate change.
- Yeah.
- An issue I am very passionate about.
- I know, and I love that.
- [both chuckle softly]
I just feel like context matters
and, you know,
there's a time and place for it
and it was my holiday work party.
Yeah, but, Darby,
no one is gonna blame you for my actions.
And if they do, fuck 'em.
Well, no. Not No.
Not fuck them, because
people's feelings are important, right?
I hear you.
I just think it's a difference of opinion.
We don't have to
see eye-to-eye on everything.
- Mmm.
- It's fucking boring.
No, I mean, no, you're right.
We're both right.
- Yeah, I love being right.
- Me too.
Yeah, no. You're great at being right.
He's helpful and sweet. He's wonderful.
I mean, we're different,
but that's kind of cool.
I always thought I had to be
with my male counterpart,
but I have to accept him for who he is.
There's stuff about me
that drives him crazy.
May I make an observation?
You may.
You sound a little like
you're trying to convince yourself.
That doesn't feel like an observation.
It kind of feels like a judgment.
Could you just be supportive?
Yes, I can.
I support you and I love you
and I can't wait to meet him.
Mom, thank you.
So listen, honey,
I'm at the doctor with Grandma Janet.
What do you know about diverticulitis?
- [fire alarm beeping]
- [Augie gasps]
Where's that smell coming from?
- Oh, shit.
- Oh, shit. Oh, shit!
- Do you have a fire extinguisher?
- Um, I don't think so.
- You should have a fire extinguisher!
- Right now?
- Oh, Jesus!
- [Darby shrieks]
- Okay, uh
- Oh, shit!
- [Augie] Okay, um, hang on!
- [Darby] Shit.
Oh, fuck.
[tree ornaments clattering]
[Augie] Dude.
- Oh, my God. Are you okay?
- Yeah. [exhales]
- Fuck. Nice work.
- Thank you.
- Oh, my God.
- [laughs nervously] Jesus.
What the fuck happened?
- I have no idea.
- [meows]
- Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Wolfgang.
- Oh, hey, bud.
He must've chewed through
the fucking wires.
- That's crazy.
- [laughs incredulously]
- We're safe, though, right?
- Yeah, no.
- We are okay.
- It's Yeah.
- [Wolfgang meows]
- Uh, okay.
Fuckin' thrilling.
- Okay.
- Uh, okay.
[both laugh]
[Augie] Man.
[narrator] Alone with her thoughts
in the darkness of a spin class,
Darby started to wonder.
If Augie felt like an old pair of jeans,
were they too snug?
If she was honest with herself,
the zipper didn't quite
come all the way up
and they were starting to cut off
the circulation to her brain.
[female instructor] Okay, 6:30!
Put another turn on that wheel.
I need you to ride for
whatever it is that's holding you back.
Oh, my God. We had to remove a whole wall.
There was a leak
my aunt didn't know about.
- [laughs]
- Yeah, pretty exciting stuff.
So what's up?
I think you're the first person in my life
to ever ask me for advice.
Oh, um
Right. [sighs]
I think I might break up with Augie.
I might be overreacting. I don't know.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Oh, shit. Okay.
I just
I find him really annoying right now.
No, I totally love the guy, but I get it.
What is it?
Is he doing his holier-than-thou thing?
Yeah. Yeah.
Obviously, his heart is
in the right place, but I don't know.
He does this thing,
- "Let's throw caution to the wind."
- Yeah.
And I'm not always down, man.
I know, and then
that makes you feel uptight.
- Exactly, yes.
- No, I know, I know, I know.
Sara used to do this to me.
Or being with Sara used to do that to me.
[inhales deeply] I don't know,
maybe you and Augie just, like
Maybe you guys want different lives.
Right. Um
Do you smell something weird?
- No, I don't.
- Okay, sorry.
Look, if Augie isn't
bringing out the best in you,
it's possible you aren't
bringing out the best in him.
Which is fine,
doesn't make either of you bad people
It's okay to leave.
If I'm honest with myself,
I don't think I made Sara all that happy.
- Right.
- You know?
That's very good. That's very wise.
Oh, shit. That was good advice?
Yeah, it was good.
It was excellent advice.
- Top notch.
- Thanks.
I'm sorry, you don't
You don't smell something weird?
- You mean this?
- I feel like I'm gonna be sick.
- That's insane, dude.
- Wait.
Holy shit. Are you pregnant?
No, obviously not.
Isn't that a thing, though, like, smells?
My cousin had that.
She couldn't go in the meat aisle.
Jim, this is not funny.
- Okay, I'm sure you're fine.
- Yeah.
You guys are You're careful, right?
Obviously. God.
[breathes deeply]
Yeah, I think I better finish your beer.
[crying softly]
[cell phone buzzing]
Yeah, sorry for all the texts.
I wasn't sure if I was in the right place.
Yeah, I actually didn't get any of them.
I have no reception down here.
- [Darby] Oh.
- [man grunts]
So what'd you want to talk about?
[grunting continues]
Um, do you want to go
in your room or something?
Oh, 'cause of Sid?
No, he's got his headphones on. It's
[Sid continues grunting]
- Yeah, yeah, sure. Of course.
- Okay.
- [Augie] 'Scuse us. Looking good, man.
- [straining]
- [Darby] Oh. This is cozy.
- [Augie] Yeah, it's cool, right?
[blender whirring loudly]
Oh, are you hungry?
Uh, Shavaughn and Edgar
are making moussaka.
- No, I'm good, I'm good.
- Okay.
So what's up?
[whirring stops]
- I have good news and bad news.
- Okay.
Um What do you want first?
Oh. Um
Let's start with the bad.
Right, yes. Uh, okay.
So, um, lately I feel like, um,
things just haven't really felt right.
- [man] Buddy?
- Buddy!
- Hey, man.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- All good. This is Darby.
- Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
- Yeah.
- Hey, moussaka night.
- Moussaka night!
[TV playing indistinctly]
Not a lot of privacy in this joint, huh?
- Yeah, railroad apartment.
- [utensils clatter]
[Darby clears throat]
Uh, anyway, sorry. You were, um
You were saying?
Yeah, no, just Yeah.
Just that I think maybe
you and I are
- just more different than we thought, and
- Mmm-hmm.
this isn't really working
the way that we want it to. You know?
Oh. Wow.
Okay, that, um
I am
actually really glad you said something,
'cause I've been wanting
to say something to you.
- I just had no idea
- Wait, really?
- how to bring it up.
- Like
- What?
- So you're dumping me?
- No, I thought you were dumping me.
- Are you?
No Yes, I am.
- You are breaking up with me?
- I am breaking up with you.
'Cause I don't want to stay together
and end up hating each other.
- In ten, 15 years, you know what I mean?
- Yes.
Absolutely not.
- Because I love who you are
- Yes.
and if you want to go live
in a house on a mountain,
I want that for you.
And if you want to be in bed
every Friday night by 9:00
- for the rest of your life
- I really do.
- let it be so.
- I really do.
You took this well
and I'm feeling really rejected.
- Come on. I'm in shock right now.
- You could pretend to be sad.
I am torn up inside right now.
You don't know how much this
I can tell. I can tell.
[both chuckle]
- [Darby scoffs]
- [smacks lips]
Uh Okay. So that, uh, bad news
wasn't so bad after all.
What's the good news?
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