Magnum P.I. (2018) s01e07 Episode Script

The Cat Who Cried Wolf

1 Kumu? It's just me, Magnum, go back to sleep.
What are you doing? Looking for a piece of your clothing for Miss Higgins, preferably one that hasn't been washed.
(SNIFFS) (CHUCKLES) Why? No idea.
Just doing her a favor.
Sweet dreams.
(CHUCKLES) Hey, that's my shirt.
Good morning, Magnum.
What are you doing? The lads are having a refresher course on obedience training with Klaus, and well, they respond better to things they don't like.
Like my scent? Well (CELL PHONE RINGING) - Good.
Thomas Magnum.
Of course I could meet.
I can be there in an hour.
You owe me a new shirt.
Of course.
Rest assured, it shall be replaced.
I liked that shirt.
The life of a P.
is either feast or famine, and lately, it's been a little too much famine.
But that's the job.
It's hand-to-mouth, waiting for the phone to ring.
Sure, it's rough, but I also know that when that call finally comes, there's always a welcome challenge and a little pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.
So you want me to find your cat? Yes, please.
His name is Mittens.
He's nine pounds, kind of orange with white paws, just like mittens, and freckles on his belly.
Mm He's been missing for four days, and he's not at any of the animal shelters.
Right Oh, and I can pay you.
(SNEEZES) Bless you.
How much do you cost? (CHUCKLES) Ooh, well, I'm, uh, I'm actually kind of expensive.
25 cents a day.
But, you know what, don't give me a dime until I bring Mittens home.
Deal? (MOUTHING WORDS) Can I ask you some questions? Yes.
Um, has-has Mittens ever run away before? Never.
Does Mittens have any, uh, favorite spots outside where he likes to hang out? He likes to sit on the front porch and wait for me to come home from school.
I see.
Uh, the day he disappeared, did Mittens do anything strange or do anything different? Yes.
He ate my Doritos.
Regular or Cool Ranch? Cool Ranch.
Cool Ranch, very interesting.
You know, this is, this is all very helpful.
Um, so, yeah, I think I have something to work with here.
You'll find Mittens, won't you, Mr.
Magnum? Absolutely.
(WHISPERING): This good? Here is my number if you need to text me or call.
Feel free, anytime.
(MOUTHING): Thank you.
(WHISPERING): You're welcome.
(SNEEZES) MAGNUM: When you break it down, this job's no different than any missing persons case, except this one's smaller, not a person, covered in fur that I'm severely allergic to, and there's no payday at the end, but, yeah, otherwise, it's no different at all.
(ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYS) MAGNUM: When you're searching for a missing person, you try to get into their mindset.
You don't just look at the places they've been, you try to figure out where they might go, how they think, what's their psychology.
I need to do the same thing here, but with a cat.
- (SNEEZES) - KUMU: Ola.
Let me guess.
You're getting a cat so the Dobermans will chase it instead of you.
No, but that's a good idea.
Actually, a little girl lost her cat; - she hired me to find him.
- Aw, look at you.
You're a pet private eye.
No, I am a pet private detective.
Maybe I can help.
My cousin Halia has a cat who has wanderlust and only three legs.
- Really? - Little fur ball goes MIA every other week.
But Halia's got a trick to get him to come home.
- Oh, yeah? What's that? - Get yourself a large bowl of sardines mixed with rice, heat it up on high, and then leave it outside the house between dusk and dawn.
Your missing kitty should be able to smell it and come back.
Kumu what would I do without you? - Not find that cat, for one thing.
- (CHUCKLES) I'm gonna find that kitty now.
Good luck.
(SIGHS) Oh, my God.
(CHUCKLES) (DOOR CLOSES) What's this? - It's some cookies? - Yeah.
For me? Thank you.
I'll be sure to eat every last one of them.
- Good night.
- Good night.
(PHONE CHIMES) Oh, come on.
Coffee and the world's greatest chocolate chip cookies.
That's my kind of stakeout.
I think Cecilia has a crush on you.
Well, at least somebody does.
- Please.
- (CHUCKLES) So, uh just you two, huh? And Mittens.
We adopted him after Cecilia's dad and I split.
That cat helped her through a very difficult time.
So thank you.
You didn't have to do this.
(PHONE CHIMES) (BOTH LAUGH) Oh, she's probably spying on us.
Yeah, she really needs to get to bed.
And I should do the same.
Do you need anything else? No, I have, uh, caffeine and sugar; I think I'm all set.
Well, uh, this is good night, then, I guess.
I guess so.
I'll see you in the morning.
Hopefully with Mittens.
- Thank you.
Get out of here.
You're kidding me.
Get out of here.
Oh, come on.
Come on.
Hey! Get out of here.
Is that you, buddy? (CHUCKLES) (MEOWS) Hey, Mittens.
What's u No freckles.
You're not Mittens.
What's this? Blood.
You okay, buddy? - That's not your blood, is it? - (MEOWS) In every case, there's always that moment where it throws you a curveball.
I think it's safe to say this is that moment.
Which leaves me with two questions.
Whose blood is this, and where is the person it belongs to? Let's go for a ride.
I don't want to work I want to bang on the drum all day Hello? (MAGNUM SNEEZES) Hey, can you c-come over, please? (SNEEZES) (HANGS UP) (SNIFFLES) What's the matter you ill? Um, no, I just recently found out that I am, uh, allergic.
- To what? - (SNEEZES) (MEOWS) - Oh, my God.
You know there are no animals allowed on the property without my - Is that blood? - Yeah.
I was on a stakeout looking for this little girl's missing cat, and this guy showed up and I saw the blood on his feet, - figured his - Stakeout for a missing cat? owner might be seriously injured.
You know what? Uh, mock me all you want later, but right now, all I care about is-is following this cat home, using this tracking collar (SNEEZES) but I can't seem to get it to pair.
Could you help me, please? Fine.
Anything for a lost cat.
Let's go.
You stay there These are for you.
(CAR DOOR OPENS) What are you doing? (SNEEZES) Anaphylaxis is a serious allergic reaction.
I'm saving you from the humiliation of dying from a cat allergy, Magnum.
Really? So you're not the least bit intrigued by this cat mystery? Not in the least.
Also, if you die, someone will undoubtedly remove your puffy-eyed, rash-covered corpse and steal the Ferrari.
MAGNUM: This is where I found the cat.
Okay, I'll let him out.
(SNEEZES) (MEOWS) (LAUGHS) Look, it actually works.
Okay, kitty, show us where you live.
Hey, uh, just a reminder: you still owe me a shirt.
And you shall have it.
I am a woman of my word.
MAGNUM: Oh, and there's something I've been meaning to ask you What's that? If you could train those dogs to attack, why can't you train them to like me? They're animals, Magnum.
There's only so much they can do.
Magnum, we've been tracking this cat for over an hour.
This is absurd.
Higgins, when tailing a subject, it requires patience.
Magnum, please tell me you consulted a veterinarian as to whether your furry friend had a microchip implant.
Microchip? HIGGINS: They place them underneath the skin of the animal to identify the owner.
You knew that.
- Didn't you? - Oh check it out this could be the place.
(MEOWS) Hello? Anybody home? We found your cat.
Oh, God.
Not necessary, Magnum.
He could still be alive.
Not a chap that perforated.
It's three broken ribs Man up.
Can you give us a minute, please? Thank you.
Just so you know, the woman who was driving the car is traumatized.
They had to sedate her.
Oh, no, thanks for your concern, but really, I'm fine.
- So, what's this about a homicide? - Well, me and Higgins were surveilling a house for a case, and, uh, came across a dead body.
Where? House in Waianae.
Somebody was fleeing the scene, I went after him, and that's when I got tagged.
Get yourself discharged, then you're gonna take me to this body.
You have got to be kidding me.
Sure you got the right place? Without question.
Well, then, congratulations, Magnum.
You found a really clean house.
Let's talk about the guy you chased down.
What'd he look like? (SIGHS) White male.
Uh, dark hair.
Unfortunately, we only really saw him from behind.
And you said you were working a case.
How exactly did you end up here? Uh, well, I was, uh I was hired to find a cat, and (LAUGHS): I-I'm sorry, a cat? Is he serious? Sadly, yes.
Anyway, I found the cat.
It was the wrong one.
This one had blood on it.
We tracked the cat back here, we found the body.
Figured the cat came in contact with the body at some point.
And where's your furry witness now? Oh, um It's a few miles away from here.
MAGNUM: I'll ask Rick and TC to pick it up.
- (PHONE RINGS) - (SIGHS) Katsumoto.
All right.
All right.
So, the house is owned by a company on the mainland, used by employees when they're on vacation.
But, according to them, it's supposed to be empty.
Wasn't a couple hours ago.
Maybe you stumbled onto a thief robbing the place.
That could be the person you chased.
What about the body? Somebody came in here and scrubbed the crime scene.
That is the only explanation.
Get someone down here to tape it up.
It's now a crime scene.
I'll get CSU to process when they can.
But do me a favor, Magnum the next time you see a dead body on the ground, take a picture of it.
Or maybe he could just drop it on your desk.
You'll keep us in the loop, right? Don't you have a cat to find? Just do your job.
Let us do ours.
And don't go back in there or I'll arrest you for trespassing.
(CAR DOOR OPENS, CLOSES) (ENGINE STARTS) Didn't you hear what he just said? Did you hear what I just said? Can't just sit back and do nothing.
The police are on it, Magnum.
Yeah, without a body, evidence or a suspect, this case is not going to the top of the pile.
Come on.
You know you want to.
(SIGHS) What's wrong with this house? Uh, besides the hideous decor and the fact the dead body is gone I could go on.
But I believe you're about to make a point? Look around.
No water bowl, no food bowl, no kitty litter.
Plus, I'm not sneezing or scratching.
You're saying that cat didn't live here? No.
But it had obviously been here.
Perhaps it belonged to the victim? That's what I'm thinking, too.
Well, if that's the case, then the victim didn't live here, either.
He didn't live here.
Who was he and what was he doing in this house? Anything? Negatory.
Maybe the tracking collar's out of juice.
I just think the cell phone service out here is jack.
Maybe we can circle back to where we were about two hours ago? Start over again? This is stupid.
Thomas doesn't even know if that cat is chipped.
Plus, there's no guarantee if we find it that it's gonna tell us who the owner was.
(SIGHS) Plus, I can't believe you didn't bring me a poke bowl.
My bad.
You know, you could at least share.
Dude, you're driving.
How you gonna use chopsticks and steer at the same time? You could feed me.
- Let me find a nice one for you.
- Thank you.
That ain't happening.
What you up to? I am in the process of bruting the Honolulu County property appraiser's database.
I have no idea what that means.
I'm launching a series of brute-force attacks in order to access confidential property records.
Still lost.
I need some background on a house.
- That's the Waianae area.
- Yes.
You know, that used to be home to several members of The Company.
Do you mean the Hawaiian Syndicate? They controlled criminal activities in the state from the late '60s to the mid '90s.
That area's coming around, though.
Corporations are buying up property, homes are being torn down and rebuilt.
It's becoming desirable again.
It's still overpatrolled by the HPD, so the riffraff tend to stay away.
Thank you, Kumu.
No problem.
What'd I do? You may have given me a lead.
MAGNUM: While I was waiting for Rick and TC to track down the cat with blood on it, I decided to check in with my client.
So, we have, uh, some promising leads on Mittens.
But, in the meantime, I wanted to give you this.
What do you say? Thank you.
You're welcome.
Cecilia, you know, um, when I was a kid, my uncle had this parrot.
And his name was Buddy.
And I-I loved this bird.
Anyway, Buddy used to sit on my uncle's shoulder, like, every morning when he read the paper, like kind of like he was reading, too.
And then one day, Buddy flew out the kitchen window, and-and we were all heartbroken.
We thought Buddy was definitely gone for good.
And then one morning, he flew back in the kitchen window, landed on my uncle's shoulder like-like he never left.
What I'm saying is that Buddy, you know, he wanted to get out there and see the world, explore.
But at the end of the day, Buddy knew where his home was.
And I know that Mittens knows where his home is.
And I'm telling you, he's gonna be back.
'Kay? I have to say, you're a natural with kids.
You ever think of having one of your own? I came close, once, to finding someone I wanted to have kids with.
But, uh didn't work out.
What happened? If-if you don't mind me asking.
It's complicated.
She just, uh You know, she wasn't wasn't the person I thought she was.
I got to take this.
Can you tell Cecilia I'll text her later? - Okay.
- Thank you.
Got some information on the house where we found the body.
It seems it was once owned by the mob, until it was seized by the feds back in the day.
The title is now held by what I believe to be an FBI shell company, which leads me to think it could very well be a safe house.
Well, if you're right, then it could be a hit, and maybe the dead guy's an informant or a-a witness in a case.
And the fact that the house was sanitized less than two hours after the murder means we're dealing with something very high-stakes.
- (BEEPING) - Hey, Higgins, I Hang on.
I got Rick and TC calling in.
- (BEEP) - Hey, guys.
We got Higgins on the line.
What's up? - (YOWLING) - We found your cat.
- Which one? - TC: The one not named Mittens.
Calling this one Satan.
Damn thing's swiping at me like Floyd Mayweather.
Actually, his real name's Max.
How do you know his name? How do you think? We took him to the vet and had his chip scanned.
Got his address, too.
Wait, hang on you guys both knew you can chip an animal? - Of course.
- Doesn't everybody know that? Uh, Magnum didn't.
Uh, whatever.
Just send us the address.
You know, I think I'm actually getting pretty good at this.
Once I figured out how to apply the right amount of pressure to the tension wrench Patio door was open.
(MEOWS) That's our dead guy.
And he is definitely the owner of Max the cat.
Looks like our victim's name is Colin Francis.
- Mm.
- Anything on there? It's password-protected.
Can you get us in? I can't do it with you breathing down my neck.
Shoo, Magnum.
I need to focus.
What do you want me to do? Oh, I don't know.
You're a private investigator.
Investigate? I'm not done yet.
Looks like you were right about that place being a safe house.
He was FBI.
I think he was the agent assigned to look after the safe house.
How you doing with the computer? I'm in.
We got to find out who Colin was holding in the safe house.
There's got to be some case logs or files.
You think whoever he was protecting might've killed him, and that's who ran from us? - Possibly.
- Mm.
This appears to be the only active case file.
COLIN: All right, Robert.
Whenever you're ready.
(CLEARS THROAT) My name is Robert Fraser.
Until three weeks ago, I was a CPA for Devlin-Fairburn, uh, an accounting firm in O-Orange County, California.
I'd been working there about 18 months when I noticed a number of suspicious transactions while reviewing some corporate tax returns.
Eventually, I uncovered a large money laundering and tax evasion scheme that was being perpetrated by the Vasiliev Clan, a Los Angeles-based crime syndicate.
I reported my findings to the federal authorities, who then proceeded to COLIN: Robert? I'm sorry.
My-my wife and my kids they're okay, right? COLIN: Yes.
We've moved them to a secure location.
They're being monitored 24/7.
Let's just get through this, okay? Then we'll record a message for them.
I'm gonna guess that's Agent Francis offscreen.
And I think it's fair to assume that Mr.
Fraser is not the man who ran from us.
What-what is that? Hive.
Uh, it's a service that monitors motion from surveillance cameras and uploads the clips.
Must be how Agent Francis was keeping tabs on the place when he wasn't there.
- (DOOR SLAMS ONSCREEN) - COLIN: Robert! - What? What's going on? - We got to move.
- Wh-What are you talking about? - My computer at work it was breached.
And I don't think it was done remotely.
We got to go.
Don't take anything.
Just go.
Wait, where's the rest of it? The program only uploads 16 seconds at a time.
Robert, run! Go, go! (GRUNTING) (GUNSHOTS) Well, we got the shooter's face.
That's something.
Why is he hanging around? Why isn't he going after Fraser? He's realizing that his DNA is all over the body.
Therefore, his priority is to scrub the crime scene and dispose of the victim.
At this point, that's more important than the witness who he knows he can track.
(MAX MEOWS ONSCREEN) And there's Max the cat.
What now? We have to show this to Katsumoto and make sure we keep the FBI in the dark.
If what Colin says in the clip is true and his computer was breached, then they have a compromised agent.
(SCOFFS) You know him? That's Carl Nadella.
He's a federal agent.
We served on a joint gang task force a few years back.
So the syndicate contracted one of the FBI's own to kill Fraser before he could testify against them.
KATSUMOTO: Yeah, and now we have to find him before Nadella fulfills that contract.
I'm gonna ping Nadella's phone, have HPD pick him up.
What? Nadella's a sharp agent.
Tons of experience.
He'll know that there's cops in the area.
You thinking of going alone? Just stay here.
(DOOR CLOSES) (FERRARI REVS) (ENGINE REVS LOUDLY) Are you trying to get spotted? Uh, no.
I'm trying not to lose him.
HIGGINS: (SIGHS) Perhaps I should drive.
(CHUCKLES) Relax, okay? I got this.
(PHONE RINGS) Thomas Magnum.
Why you following me? Uh Word of advice: if you want to tail someone, don't do it in a red Ferrari.
Look, we brought this thing to you, okay? This is kind of our deal.
Nadella's cell signal's coming from the old industrial area near Ala Wai Harbor.
He has a boat nearby in the marina.
That's where I'm headed.
Stay here, stay on your phones.
If you see Carl, you call me.
No hero moves.
I'll go this way, you go that way.
Wait! Whoa.
Whoa, whoa, please please don't kill me.
Easy, Robert.
I'm unarmed.
Who are you? How-how do you know my name? My name is Juliet.
I'm here with the HPD.
I know all about you and what happened.
It's okay.
You're safe.
But we have to move now.
No, no, I-I'm supposed to meet another agent here, a friend of Colin's.
Carl, right? Yes.
How do you know? He's the one who killed Colin.
He has lured you here to do the same to you.
(PHONE DINGS) (GUN COCKS) You were at the house.
Who are you? Just a guy hired to find a cat.
Well, you should have stuck to your job.
You've reached Thomas Magnum, private investigator, - please leave a message.
- Magnum, where are you? Call me when you get this.
Nadella's car was picked up by cameras at the Ala Wai Boat Harbor.
His gate card was used to access the parking lot, his slip is empty.
He must have run into Magnum and now they're both on Nadella's boat.
If Magnum's still alive.
Tell me something, Carl.
You flying solo on this? Did you approach the Vasiliev Clan or did they approach you? Who was that woman I saw you with today? Why do you want to know you want to kill her too? You know what's strange? You've left a trail of bodies behind you, but not the one you were hired to kill.
No trail.
Been cleaning up after myself.
Oh, you're now dumping Colin, huh? And then you.
You might want to rethink things.
You weren't hired to kill an FBI agent and a P.
I'm guessing the crime syndicate who hired you to take out that witness is not gonna be too happy.
I'm thinking, after this little cruise on the ocean, you're gonna get a bullet in you.
Shut up and drive.
(PHONE RINGS) Higgins? - What's up? - It's Magnum.
He's in trouble.
All right.
Slow her down, drop anchor.
- (ENGINE REVS) - (GRUNTING) (GROANS) - (GUNSHOT) (MUFFLED GRUNTING) (GUNSHOT) (GASPS) (GRUNTS) We're gonna find him, right? You're damn right we will.
Coast guard's on it, too.
(MUFFLED GRUNTING) (PANTING) (GRUNTING) Why didn't you just throw me overboard? You do something stupid, and I just might.
(ALARM BEEPING) We have bingo fuel.
We got to take this bird back.
There! It's them! I knew it, baby.
This man is a survivor, always.
Katsumoto, we found him.
Looks like I'm going for a swim.
Get it, Rick.
(GRUNTS) TC's out of fuel.
Coast guard's 20 minutes out.
(GRUNTS) You okay? (SIGHS) Yeah.
The hardest part of my work is telling someone you couldn't finish the job.
Now, try telling that to a little girl who lost her pet.
It worked.
(STAMMERS) What worked? Leaving the window open.
- Mittens came back.
- (LAUGHS) 50 cents for two days work.
Thank you very much.
(MITTENS MEOWS) Thank you for being so gracious.
Well, you know, it's easy, with a client like that.
Plus, I got, uh got paid in full, which doesn't always happen.
Uh do want to grab coffee sometime, maybe? I'd love to.
But Oh, not the "but.
" I would really love to, Thomas.
I think there's someone you need to get over first.
I'm working on that.
Well, just know when you feel the time is right, call me.
I'll do that.
Good-bye, Isabelle.
Oh Look out! - (GROWLING) - That's enough, lads.
Magnum, you ever play 'ula maika? - Can't say that I have.
- You are welcome to join us.
No, I've actually got big plans.
I'm going to bed.
Since you woke me up two days ago, I've barely had any sleep.
- E kala mai I aúu.
That was my fault.
- No, no.
It was me who asked Kumu to get your shirt.
Oh, um, - on that note - Yes, Magnum.
I promised you a replacement.
I haven't forgotten.
Is that why you're here? No.
I actually wanted to say that I appreciate your help today.
Is that all? Girl, they broke the mold after they made you.
- Is there anything else? - Well, I saved your life.
(LAUGHING): Technically, I saved my own life.
Yes, but technically, you'd still be out at sea, dehydrated and delirious from sunstroke had I not called your friends.
I should wear a referee whistle when I'm with you two.
Okay, thank you, Higgins, for calling TC and finding me before the coast guard did.
Enjoy your game.
Pleasant dreams, Magnum.
Hope you win, Kumu.
Captioned by access.
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