Marvel's Guardians Of The Galaxy (2015) s03e13 Episode Script

You Don't Own Me

You stand accused for the crime of theft, for which you have been convicted, as well as fleeing Kree justice, - and now attacking a Kree vessel.
- Incorrect.
The one who forced our ship to attack is right behind you.
The Collector's ship? He was telling the truth? Hala my home world.
Nooo! - Where's my Quantum Sword? - Easy, Phyla.
We're sort of using it to power our ship right now.
You what?! I need my Quantum Sword.
The Collector must answer for the destruction of my planet, Hala! I am Groot.
Good point, bud.
Today is her lucky day, 'cause we're headed right for the Collector's ship.
To investigate, Rocket, not charge in with no plan and start fighting.
- But those are my two finest skills.
- Quill's right, Drax.
We don't know the Collector destroyed Hala.
Exactly, Gamora.
Look, he's called the Collector, not the Blower-Upper.
That's why we're heading in cloaked and sneaking aboard his ship.
Truth before vengeance.
It's the difference between being a Guardian and being an Accuser.
I know the truth.
I saw the Collector destroy my planet, which means I'm going to end him slowly.
Hey! I get you're angry, Phyla, but something about this just doesn't add up.
So if you want our help getting the Collector, you're doing it our way.
I will do it the way that best serves my vengeance.
- You lost her at "hey.
" - And we just lost our cloak! Okay, new plan.
We're making this up as we go.
As per flargin' usual! We've got just enough power left from Phyla's sword to make it to the main hangar.
I'm going in.
Would that not require the door to be open? He's got a point, Quill.
Whoo-hoo! Yeah! Can't find a door? Make a door! - Toughest ship in the galaxy! - It was! I'd say the Collector's warm little welcome proves his guilt.
Now, let's move.
Can you just hold the revenge for a krutackin' second? We don't have a krutackin' second.
You'll have a lot more to mourn if you don't get out of there now! Greetings, Guardians.
How may we destroy you today? Don't worry.
I've dealt with these gronkahs before.
They do not appear intimidated.
They should be.
On my signal Okay.
Points for enthusiasm.
But now we need to find the Collector and get some answers.
He destroyed my planet! What answers do I need? How about why would a guy who devoted his entire life to collecting stuff wanna blow up a whole planet full of stuff? To make the Kree items he already possesses more valuable.
Not helping.
Maybe the Collector used that Kree thing he framed us for stealing - to hide your planet somehow.
- I am Groot? How should I know how you hide a whole planet? - Ask the genius.
- Well, don't know "how," but I got a sneaking suspicion on "why.
" Any good thief knows the best way to steal something is to make people think it doesn't exist.
The device you stole from the Kree was used to destroy Hala.
How can you be so sure? Because that's what it was designed to do.
It's a black hole generator.
But that tech is illegal.
Which is why we kept it secret.
Even if the Collector did blow up Hala, you're with the Guardians now, and Guardians don't execute people on sight! Hm.
You're right.
I need to make him suffer first.
By destroying the only thing he loves his collection.
This ship and everything on it officially stands accused.
- Well, that's kind of a win.
- Not if she blows up the whole ship.
You guys find another way outta here.
I'll try to talk some sense into her.
Aah! Will you watch where you're throwing the priceless artifacts?! Worthless trinkets, and likely stolen to begin with! Look, I get it.
Vengeance feels good.
But it doesn't help us find out what happened to Hala.
I know what happened to Hala! You should be more concerned about what will happen to you if you don't stay out of my way! Seriously? The Collector collects snow globes? Wait That's not a snow globe.
Phyla! I I think this is Hala.
The real Hala.
It's just really little.
If you want to stop me with a lie, Quill, pick a better one.
No, Phyla, this is real! No, it isn't! My home world is gone.
That's just another shiny trinket the Collector won't get to keep! - I'm trying to help you! - Then give me the globe.
Not until you promise not to smash your own planet.
Hey, what's that? - That is not my planet! - Is too! Let us keep this in mint condition, shall we? You monster! Phyla, wait! Your planet is perfectly safe, Phyla-Vell.
But I advise you not to tempt me.
- Then that's really Hala? - Oh, so him you believe! - How? How did you even do this? - Quite easily.
I converted your black hole generator into a molecular compression engine.
Because certain simpletons kept destroying my collection, I needed a faster method of replacement.
With my new compressor, I can now collect entire planets in one fell swoop.
Well, that is a pretty good plan, Collector.
After all, it's gotta be hard to replace things like I don't know like this? No, no! It does not matter.
I own the entire Kree civilization now, - and soon the entire galaxy.
- Exactly.
So, I mean, one piece of art doesn't matter.
I mean - Please don't - Whoops.
Oh, stepped on it with my foot.
Or two, or Ooh! Did you hear the sound that made? It was like a tinkle-crinkle kind of thing.
Oh, there's the third one! My bad.
I am Groot! Yeah, that's enough stalling for now.
Flarg, Quill! If you wanted a souvenir, you could've picked something nicer.
It's Hala, thank you very much.
The Collector shrunk it.
And now he'll pay for those crimes.
Whoa, Phyla! Why don't we figure out how to restore your world before you slice up the guy who shrank it? We're Guardians, remember? Fine! But first let me show you how an Accuser handles things.
Where's the generator?! Weapons vault.
Two lefts and a right.
It's true, I swear! - Ouch - Thank you for your cooperation.
- She is very effective at her job.
- Maybe Quill should take notes.
This room holds the deadliest weapons in the entire galaxy.
Groot, we're home.
Don't touch anything.
Thanos spoke of many of these weapons.
They're as dangerous to their masters as they are to their victims.
You ever think he just wanted to keep the fun stuff - for himself? Huh? - Over here! Hey, if I don't get to blast things, you don't get to primp in front of some weird-looking mirror.
Move it! - There's the generator.
- Well, then, let's flip the reverse switch and get Hala all big again.
I mean, how hard can that be? Am I right? So, which is the reverse switch? The generator's definitely being routed through a stabilizing matrix here.
- If we reverse its magnetic - Pfft! That ain't no stabilizing matrix.
Don't you know a souped-up compression relay when you see one? You reverse anything on that, the whole thing will explode.
Not that there's anything wrong with explosions, but the one thing you wanna avoid above all is electrocution.
What is it with you and buttons? - Didn't you grow out of this yet? - I am Groot.
Well, you mostly just flarged us.
You overloaded the relay! - The matrix.
- Whatever! The point is, your planet's getting bigger inside a very less-than-planet-sized spaceship.
And thanks to Groot, I can't shrink it back! I am Groot.
We have to get this thing off the ship, fast! Then stop your yammering and lift.
Who would've thought a planet would be so heavy? Me, for a start.
Now put my planet down carefully.
It's my planet! And you should know better than to bring a glove to a sword fight! That's not a glove.
It's the Tactigon! It creates the perfect weapon to defeat any opponent.
Drax is a perfect weapon.
I am Groot! It is the perfect defense and offense.
Okay, anyone who knows how to counter the perfect weapon, - now's the time to speak up.
- Simple.
Find a better one.
Oh, now she wants us to touch 'em.
I am Groot, I am Groot, I am Groot! I am Groot! What the flarg kind of element blaster is this? An Element of Surprise Blaster.
Yeah? Well, surprise this! You really think a toy could defeat the Tactigon? Guess the Tactigon thought it was a toy too.
No one escapes Kree justice.
You want justice? Here is my justice.
Computer, self-destruct activation Taneleer 001.
Ha! Yeah, right.
We know you'd never destroy your priceless collection.
You mean the collection that you have already destroyed? The only priceless thing now is knowing none of you will make it out of here alive.
Self-destruct initiated.
Commencing countdown.
Self-destruct initiated.
Commencing countdown.
Self-destruct initiated.
Commencing countdown.
Okay, I know I said it before, but we need to get Hala off this ship, fast.
Anybody seen it? Tiny planet, excessive justice system? Yeah.
But it ain't so tiny no more.
- I am Groot! - Everyone grab a side.
We have to get this to the hangar before it expands even further.
- Watch it.
- New plan.
- I saw a loading door that way.
- Which way? - I can't see anything.
- I am Groot.
I am Groot.
He said, "Go right.
" - I am Groot! - Then say, "My right"! - I am Groot! - Hey, you wanna switch? Be my guest! Don't worry.
We're almost there.
It's right there Oh, it's just another The hangar seemed much closer when we were not carrying a planet.
Self-destruct in nine minutes.
- You trust me, right? - Not even a little.
Well, time to start.
As we say on Earth, let's roll! We still won't get Hala through that door in time.
Heh! What door? Self-destruct in seven minutes.
Flarg! We won't get Hala away from the blast radius in time.
Then we'll have to get the blast radius away from Hala.
Phyla, push your planet outta here.
We'll lock the ship's course in the other direction and run.
Thank you for showing this Accuser what it means to be a Guardian.
She could've done that the whole time? You wanna blow up?! Don't just stand there.
Get to the bridge! Self-destruct in six minutes.
Controls are locked.
I can't change course! I got this.
Flarg! The resistor relay's overloaded.
The only way to get this tub moving without shorting out the engine is to regulate the power manually till I get the auxiliary relay back up.
It means do what I say, and we might might make it out of this.
Groot, reroute steering controls and get this thing pointed in the right direction.
- I am Groot.
- You two, dump any power spikes into non-primary systems.
- Um, not that I don't know - If a light turns red, pull its cord and move it to a green light.
Drax, throw the primary override and hold it there.
As with buttons, so too will Drax defeat all levers! Let's just hope I ain't defeated by the Collector's shoddy wiring.
Guardians, I don't see any escape pods.
Lock controls and evacuate.
Evacuate? Huh! Why would I do that when I can just stay here and explode?! Rocket, I'm all for a dramatic exit, but hurry up! Huh? - What happened? - The d'ast thing overloaded! Yeah, we saw that part, but how do you fix it in four minutes? Self-destruct in three minutes.
Three minutes.
We We don't.
We either leave now and maybe make it, - or stay and make sure Hala does.
- You are sure of this? No, I just felt like adding drama to the situation.
Of course I'm sure! The Kree better name, like, seven high schools after me for this.
"After us," you mean.
- Then we stay.
- I am Groot.
On the bright side, I owe a lot of jerks units that I won't have to pay back no more.
Self-destruct in two minutes.