Mike Tyson Mysteries (2014) s02e14 Episode Script
Yves Klein Blues
1
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, hey, mate. How's it going?
-Hey.
-Terry.
Terry? Oh, yes, Terry.
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
It's already been a week, huh?
Yep, time goes by fast.
(LAUGHS)
Really does.
Yeah, really.
Really does, doesn't it?
The, uh Yep.
So, what's, uh,
what's the good word?
Uh, what?
What's going on, you know?
What you been up to?
Fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Nice. You know, you've got it
figured out, man.
Man, I thought
I had it figured out,
but you,
you're the figure-outer.
Look at you. You spend all day
living with the champ,
hanging out. (LAUGHS)
Whoo, I bet
you get the girls, eh?
Few of the old, uh, ladies?
I was telling my friend
about you, actually.
You know, he goes,
"There's no such thing
as a talking bird."
(LAUGHS) And I was like,
"Oh, really? Really?
"What do you call a parrot,
you dickhead?"
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, he was
pretty quiet after that.
Oh, yeah? Hey, Terry,
I might not be able
to hear you.
On the account of
I am listening to music
on my headphones now.
All right. Sorry, I didn't see
the, uh, see the headphones.
Are they new ones, are they?
Are they little,
little tiny ones,
the modern ones.
They're getting smaller,
aren't they?
They're put on right inside
of the ear, are they?
No, he can't hear me.
It's weird how
he was hearing me.
(HUMMING)
Come outside and sit with me.
Mmm, after
the pool guy's gone.
He's so weird.
Uh, every time he sees me,
he tells me I should put
sun block on.
And every time,
I tell him I'm a ghost.
And then the next time
I see him,
(MIMICKING TERRY)
"You better put some
sun block on."
He's not even good at his job.
He puts way too much
chlorine in.
Your father can't bear to
fire anybody.
He hates confrontation.
Oh, damn,
is that the pool guy?
Yung, go out there
and tell that guy
not to put so much
(BLEEP) damn
chlorine in there.
It hurts my eyes.
Dad, you tell him.
Yung, you know I'm not good
with those type of situations.
They escalate, you know.
They get all escalated,
and before you know it, bam!
I'm (BLEEP) knocking
the pool guy out.
Heavens to Beatrice,
I'll do it.
Now, who the (BLEEP)
is this Beatrice?
(PHONE RINGING)
Hi, Terry, will you not put
so much chlorine in this time?
Okay, but only if you put
some sun block on. All right?
(LAUGHS)
You should tell your buddy
to wear sun block.
I know he wears a hat,
but he's really white.
Oh, right, he's got this,
got the head phones on,
hasn't he?
What are you talkin' about?
I don't want no track suit
in another blue.
It's gotta be the same blue,
Yves Klein Blue.
Yeah. Yes.
Yes, I want you to
check again.
Wait a second,
this is Yves Klein Blue?
(BLEEP) Yeah, it is.
Or it used to be.
I washed it once before
and there was a little bleach
in there and it faded it.
What's Yves Klein Blue?
Ugh. I keep forgetting
you're home-schooled.
Yves Klein Blue is a unique
and rather intense
shade of blue
created by the famous
French artist Yves Klein.
Wow! Is there anything special
about the color
of my tracksuit?
No, it's just regular pink.
Because you're a girl.
And girls like pink.
-I don't like pink.
-Well, maybe you're
transgendered.
-Okay.
-Hey, champ,
mind if I use your pisser?
I gotta squeeze the venom
out of me lizard.
You know, drain the main vein.
Need your toilet.
What do you mean
some guy bought
all the Yves Klein Blue?
Oop, you're on the phone.
No worries.
(WHISPERING)
I'll, uh, I'll find it, mate.
Why does he need
another tracksuit?
Yes, I will hold.
I wanna get one with shorts
and a jacket with no sleeves,
you know, for the summer.
False alarm. (LAUGHS)
Often happens.
Yes, I'm still here.
Hey, you mind if I get
a drink of, uh, of water?
-Glass of water?
-Well, how long then?
-Glasses in here?
-Oh, my God.
So, who the (BLEEP)
bought it all?
-Here.
-Oh, thank you.
Oh, anyone mind
if I grab that orange fizzy?
Looks like that might be
the last one.
Here you go, friend.
Somebody else talk
to this (BLEEP), please?
-What?
-It's getting all escalated.
I don't need confrontation.
Here, Marquess,
you talk to him.
I don't want to talk to him.
I'll talk to him.
Hi, this is Terry.
-(SINGING)
-Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
Who took the last
(BLEEP) orange drink?
Oh. Oh, excellent.
Thanks for your help.
-Yeah, you, too.
-(LINE DISCONNECTS)
Okay, here's the situation.
Now they say that
Oh, you might wanna take
your headphones off
to hear this.
Eh? Oh, yeah.
Let me take 'em out.
They're out.
Okay. So the champ's tailor
tells me
that he can't get any more
of the specific pigment,
he wants to make
the summer track suit.
You see, they'd have to wait
until they can manufacture
more of the pigment.
The, uh, Yves Klein Blue,
I believe it's called.
But, because it's an intensive
process to make the pigment,
he doesn't think that
they can get their hands
on any of it till next year,
which, obviously, would be
too late for the champ
to wear this summer.
So, we're at a bit of a loss.
Then, he suggested we contact
the person who bought
the current supply
and see if we can persuade him
to sell some of the pigment
directly to us,
which of course, we could then
give to the tailor
to make the summer track suit.
Mmm, that raises
an interesting question,
why are you in our house?
I came in to use the restroom.
So, who is this person
that bought it all?
Great question, young man.
The tailor suggested asking
the people who produce
the actual pigment.
He says they are
in Paris, France.
Well, team, pack your (BLEEP)
It looks like
we gotta go to Paris.
To ask a question?
Couldn't we just call them?
None of us speak
French, Marquess.
And everybody knows
90% of communication
is non-verbal.
When you're face to face,
you can really make
the gestures with your hands
and use your facial
expressions, you know.
Like here,
guess what I'm saying?
-Uh, you're, you're hungry.
-And you're mad.
Oh! You're mad because
you're so hungry.
What? First of all, I'm happy.
And I'm asking
where the post office is
because I'm writing a letter
and I need to know
where the mail it.
Jesus Christ, you Americans
are so (BLEEP) dumb.
I need to know who bought
all the Yves Klein blue,
so I could purchase some
directly from him.
Oh, I speak English.
Oh, damn, I guess
I could've called.
I don't have a name,
but I have a shipping address.
It's in Brazil. Here you are.
Thank you.
All right, team,
pack your (BLEEP) again.
We're going to Brazil.
-Brazil?
-Great!
I've always wanted to
go to Brazil.
Okay, I'll get the cab
back to the hotel.
Wait a second.
Why is he coming
to Brazil with us?
Why did he even
come to Paris with us?
I told you I'm not good
with confrontation.
He asked me
if he could come
and I said, um
I didn't think that would be
a good idea.
And then he said please,
and I could
feel it escalating.
So, I'd either say yes
or beat the living shit
out of him.
Come on, guys, the cab's here!
Brazil awaits.
I'll tell him he's not going.
I got no problem
with confrontation.
Well, guys, I guess
this is good bye.
Got to say, this was
the best trip I've ever taken.
Probably made the best
memories I've ever made.
You know, I'm hesitant to
call you the best friends
I've ever had,
because to me,
it goes beyond that.
You guys, you're family.
Yeah? Tsk.
I guess all good things
must come to an end.
Why? Why? Who came up with
that phrase, you know?
But it's true, I guess.
I gotta follow
the laws of life.
Hmm.
(SIGHING) Oh, well.
Champ.
Whitey.
Oh, my God.
-Little guy.
-Oh, don't, don't touch me.
Bird. Talking bird.
Oh, I'll kick myself
if I didn't try at least
one last time.
-Champ, can I please
come with you to Brazil?
-Sure.
-Oh, my
-Ugh.
Jesus Christ.
Are you sure this is
the right address?
That's the one she gave me.
But this is the
Palacio da Alvorada.
This is, like,
the White House,
but for the
President of Brazil.
What the (BLEEP) does
the President of Brazil want
with my Yves Klein Blue?
Well, as you know,
Brazil is hosting
the upcoming
Olympic Games in Rio,
and many events will
take place in Guanabara Bay,
which unfortunately is filthy.
It's thick with garbage,
fecal matter, toxic chemicals,
you know.
Just a bunch
of shit everywhere.
So?
You were going to dump a bunch
of blue pigment in the water
to try and make it look clean?
I know. It's a (BLEEP) joke.
The whole Olympics
is a (BLEEP) nightmare.
The transportation
isn't ready.
The housing
is behind schedule.
The truck for the runners
keeps bubbling up.
It's got some (BLEEP) problem.
The place for
the bicycle races
The velodrome?
Yes, the (BLEEP) velodrome.
It's not even built yet.
So, yes, Mike Tyson,
you can have
some blue pigment.
You can have it all.
Oh, I only need a little bit.
Enough for my tailor
to make me a summer suit.
Well, why didn't you say so?
I will have a suit
made for you.
Brazilian style.
After all, you were always
my favorite boxer.
Well, you and Gerry Cooney,
and Pernell Whitaker.
Sweet Pea Whitaker.
You are in my
top five for sure.
Oh, remember
Julio Cesar Chavez?
And Duran? I love
the Mexican fighters.
You are for sure
in my top 10.
MIKE: Hey, team,
we've got a new mystery.
Come on to the Mystery Mobile.
Dad, no one's going anywhere
with you dressed like that.
Wait for me. I'm coming!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(MAN SPEAKING)
Yeah, the very small picture,
8' by 10'.
Yeah.
I thought it would be massive,
it's a little 8' by 10'.
Oh, you're not getting close
to that, dude.
No way, Jose.
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh, hey, mate. How's it going?
-Hey.
-Terry.
Terry? Oh, yes, Terry.
Yeah. (LAUGHS)
It's already been a week, huh?
Yep, time goes by fast.
(LAUGHS)
Really does.
Yeah, really.
Really does, doesn't it?
The, uh Yep.
So, what's, uh,
what's the good word?
Uh, what?
What's going on, you know?
What you been up to?
Fine, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Nice. You know, you've got it
figured out, man.
Man, I thought
I had it figured out,
but you,
you're the figure-outer.
Look at you. You spend all day
living with the champ,
hanging out. (LAUGHS)
Whoo, I bet
you get the girls, eh?
Few of the old, uh, ladies?
I was telling my friend
about you, actually.
You know, he goes,
"There's no such thing
as a talking bird."
(LAUGHS) And I was like,
"Oh, really? Really?
"What do you call a parrot,
you dickhead?"
(LAUGHS)
Yeah, he was
pretty quiet after that.
Oh, yeah? Hey, Terry,
I might not be able
to hear you.
On the account of
I am listening to music
on my headphones now.
All right. Sorry, I didn't see
the, uh, see the headphones.
Are they new ones, are they?
Are they little,
little tiny ones,
the modern ones.
They're getting smaller,
aren't they?
They're put on right inside
of the ear, are they?
No, he can't hear me.
It's weird how
he was hearing me.
(HUMMING)
Come outside and sit with me.
Mmm, after
the pool guy's gone.
He's so weird.
Uh, every time he sees me,
he tells me I should put
sun block on.
And every time,
I tell him I'm a ghost.
And then the next time
I see him,
(MIMICKING TERRY)
"You better put some
sun block on."
He's not even good at his job.
He puts way too much
chlorine in.
Your father can't bear to
fire anybody.
He hates confrontation.
Oh, damn,
is that the pool guy?
Yung, go out there
and tell that guy
not to put so much
(BLEEP) damn
chlorine in there.
It hurts my eyes.
Dad, you tell him.
Yung, you know I'm not good
with those type of situations.
They escalate, you know.
They get all escalated,
and before you know it, bam!
I'm (BLEEP) knocking
the pool guy out.
Heavens to Beatrice,
I'll do it.
Now, who the (BLEEP)
is this Beatrice?
(PHONE RINGING)
Hi, Terry, will you not put
so much chlorine in this time?
Okay, but only if you put
some sun block on. All right?
(LAUGHS)
You should tell your buddy
to wear sun block.
I know he wears a hat,
but he's really white.
Oh, right, he's got this,
got the head phones on,
hasn't he?
What are you talkin' about?
I don't want no track suit
in another blue.
It's gotta be the same blue,
Yves Klein Blue.
Yeah. Yes.
Yes, I want you to
check again.
Wait a second,
this is Yves Klein Blue?
(BLEEP) Yeah, it is.
Or it used to be.
I washed it once before
and there was a little bleach
in there and it faded it.
What's Yves Klein Blue?
Ugh. I keep forgetting
you're home-schooled.
Yves Klein Blue is a unique
and rather intense
shade of blue
created by the famous
French artist Yves Klein.
Wow! Is there anything special
about the color
of my tracksuit?
No, it's just regular pink.
Because you're a girl.
And girls like pink.
-I don't like pink.
-Well, maybe you're
transgendered.
-Okay.
-Hey, champ,
mind if I use your pisser?
I gotta squeeze the venom
out of me lizard.
You know, drain the main vein.
Need your toilet.
What do you mean
some guy bought
all the Yves Klein Blue?
Oop, you're on the phone.
No worries.
(WHISPERING)
I'll, uh, I'll find it, mate.
Why does he need
another tracksuit?
Yes, I will hold.
I wanna get one with shorts
and a jacket with no sleeves,
you know, for the summer.
False alarm. (LAUGHS)
Often happens.
Yes, I'm still here.
Hey, you mind if I get
a drink of, uh, of water?
-Glass of water?
-Well, how long then?
-Glasses in here?
-Oh, my God.
So, who the (BLEEP)
bought it all?
-Here.
-Oh, thank you.
Oh, anyone mind
if I grab that orange fizzy?
Looks like that might be
the last one.
Here you go, friend.
Somebody else talk
to this (BLEEP), please?
-What?
-It's getting all escalated.
I don't need confrontation.
Here, Marquess,
you talk to him.
I don't want to talk to him.
I'll talk to him.
Hi, this is Terry.
-(SINGING)
-Mmm-hmm. Yeah.
Who took the last
(BLEEP) orange drink?
Oh. Oh, excellent.
Thanks for your help.
-Yeah, you, too.
-(LINE DISCONNECTS)
Okay, here's the situation.
Now they say that
Oh, you might wanna take
your headphones off
to hear this.
Eh? Oh, yeah.
Let me take 'em out.
They're out.
Okay. So the champ's tailor
tells me
that he can't get any more
of the specific pigment,
he wants to make
the summer track suit.
You see, they'd have to wait
until they can manufacture
more of the pigment.
The, uh, Yves Klein Blue,
I believe it's called.
But, because it's an intensive
process to make the pigment,
he doesn't think that
they can get their hands
on any of it till next year,
which, obviously, would be
too late for the champ
to wear this summer.
So, we're at a bit of a loss.
Then, he suggested we contact
the person who bought
the current supply
and see if we can persuade him
to sell some of the pigment
directly to us,
which of course, we could then
give to the tailor
to make the summer track suit.
Mmm, that raises
an interesting question,
why are you in our house?
I came in to use the restroom.
So, who is this person
that bought it all?
Great question, young man.
The tailor suggested asking
the people who produce
the actual pigment.
He says they are
in Paris, France.
Well, team, pack your (BLEEP)
It looks like
we gotta go to Paris.
To ask a question?
Couldn't we just call them?
None of us speak
French, Marquess.
And everybody knows
90% of communication
is non-verbal.
When you're face to face,
you can really make
the gestures with your hands
and use your facial
expressions, you know.
Like here,
guess what I'm saying?
-Uh, you're, you're hungry.
-And you're mad.
Oh! You're mad because
you're so hungry.
What? First of all, I'm happy.
And I'm asking
where the post office is
because I'm writing a letter
and I need to know
where the mail it.
Jesus Christ, you Americans
are so (BLEEP) dumb.
I need to know who bought
all the Yves Klein blue,
so I could purchase some
directly from him.
Oh, I speak English.
Oh, damn, I guess
I could've called.
I don't have a name,
but I have a shipping address.
It's in Brazil. Here you are.
Thank you.
All right, team,
pack your (BLEEP) again.
We're going to Brazil.
-Brazil?
-Great!
I've always wanted to
go to Brazil.
Okay, I'll get the cab
back to the hotel.
Wait a second.
Why is he coming
to Brazil with us?
Why did he even
come to Paris with us?
I told you I'm not good
with confrontation.
He asked me
if he could come
and I said, um
I didn't think that would be
a good idea.
And then he said please,
and I could
feel it escalating.
So, I'd either say yes
or beat the living shit
out of him.
Come on, guys, the cab's here!
Brazil awaits.
I'll tell him he's not going.
I got no problem
with confrontation.
Well, guys, I guess
this is good bye.
Got to say, this was
the best trip I've ever taken.
Probably made the best
memories I've ever made.
You know, I'm hesitant to
call you the best friends
I've ever had,
because to me,
it goes beyond that.
You guys, you're family.
Yeah? Tsk.
I guess all good things
must come to an end.
Why? Why? Who came up with
that phrase, you know?
But it's true, I guess.
I gotta follow
the laws of life.
Hmm.
(SIGHING) Oh, well.
Champ.
Whitey.
Oh, my God.
-Little guy.
-Oh, don't, don't touch me.
Bird. Talking bird.
Oh, I'll kick myself
if I didn't try at least
one last time.
-Champ, can I please
come with you to Brazil?
-Sure.
-Oh, my
-Ugh.
Jesus Christ.
Are you sure this is
the right address?
That's the one she gave me.
But this is the
Palacio da Alvorada.
This is, like,
the White House,
but for the
President of Brazil.
What the (BLEEP) does
the President of Brazil want
with my Yves Klein Blue?
Well, as you know,
Brazil is hosting
the upcoming
Olympic Games in Rio,
and many events will
take place in Guanabara Bay,
which unfortunately is filthy.
It's thick with garbage,
fecal matter, toxic chemicals,
you know.
Just a bunch
of shit everywhere.
So?
You were going to dump a bunch
of blue pigment in the water
to try and make it look clean?
I know. It's a (BLEEP) joke.
The whole Olympics
is a (BLEEP) nightmare.
The transportation
isn't ready.
The housing
is behind schedule.
The truck for the runners
keeps bubbling up.
It's got some (BLEEP) problem.
The place for
the bicycle races
The velodrome?
Yes, the (BLEEP) velodrome.
It's not even built yet.
So, yes, Mike Tyson,
you can have
some blue pigment.
You can have it all.
Oh, I only need a little bit.
Enough for my tailor
to make me a summer suit.
Well, why didn't you say so?
I will have a suit
made for you.
Brazilian style.
After all, you were always
my favorite boxer.
Well, you and Gerry Cooney,
and Pernell Whitaker.
Sweet Pea Whitaker.
You are in my
top five for sure.
Oh, remember
Julio Cesar Chavez?
And Duran? I love
the Mexican fighters.
You are for sure
in my top 10.
MIKE: Hey, team,
we've got a new mystery.
Come on to the Mystery Mobile.
Dad, no one's going anywhere
with you dressed like that.
Wait for me. I'm coming!
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
(MAN SPEAKING)
Yeah, the very small picture,
8' by 10'.
Yeah.
I thought it would be massive,
it's a little 8' by 10'.
Oh, you're not getting close
to that, dude.
No way, Jose.