Minx (2022) s02e06 Episode Script

This Is Our Zig

[SHELLY] Tonight, Bella
LaRouche has chosen a theme.
Ladies choose their partners.
Bella started her journey through
some other neighborhoods, too,
ones with more
experimental architecture.
Where do you come up with that stuff?
[TINA] Are you shooting food porn?
[RICHIE] I need a creative outlet, okay?
You know that I haven't been
feeling fulfilled lately.
[BAMBI] I'm looking
for my next gig here.
Just waiting for the stars to align.
You'll be fine. Everyone loves you.
What do you say we drive up the coast
get lost where no one can reach us?
[JOYCE] You brought Constance in,
you pitched her the global vision,
and now, you're about to make it happen.
- You should run the thing.
- Yeah.
Why don't you make us a cocktail,
and we'll have a little chat
about this company's future?
- And yours.
- If we get on the cover of Rolling Stone,
it'll launch us to outer fucking space.

Oh, sorry. I, uh, thought you'd be gone.
Flight's not for a couple hours.
Two full days in the office
between trips, Joycie?
Careful, somebody might
think you work here.
Vassar is thanking me for endowing
the new Fellowship for Women in Print.
Whole English department will be there.
How much is that gonna cost ya?
It's not about the money, Doug.
It's about smoothing the path
for the women who follow me.
- Hey! That is my wall!
- What are you
- Yeah, it used to be mine.
Oh, my God, please do
not be a murder weapon.
No, no, no. I put this
here for safekeeping
after I got out over my skis
with a waitress at Trader Vic's.
[JOYCE GASPS] Oh, my God.
You're proposing to Tina?
Yeah, the timing's right.
I can't go to Europe without that woman.
There's a time difference.
You know, and then
the and then the cost
of international calls
is is through the roof.
Okay, couple notes.
Um, how heavily do logistics
feature in this proposal?
Ah, don't worry, Joycie.
This isn't my first time
around the marriage block.
Maybe don't mention that, either.
It's her mother's big retirement thing,
so I'm just gonna slide in
there as we're getting ready
and I'm gonna tell her that, um
just gonna tell her that
she's the first person
I want to tell my news to, you know?
Good or bad.
And that my life does not
doesn't make any sense without her.
And when I met her,
everything just kind of
changed for me for the better.
You know, something like that.
I think of you two as
only existing at work,
but you have this whole other life
that is just so beautiful.
Jeez, Prigger. I never
took you for a sap.
Marriage is still a patriarchal prison
akin to indentured servitude.
And there she is.
That better be fixed when I
get back from Poughkeepsie.

[MAXINE] All around the
world I'd rather be a fly ♪
I'd light on my baby ♪
[JOYCE] Of course it's
free. It's included.
- Hello.
- [ATTENDANT] Here you are.
- And for you.
- [SHELLY] Oh!
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Ah!
[SHELLY] When was the last time we
had a moment alone, you and me?
And listen,
it's been a whirlwind
at the Lambert house.
- Lots to report.
I cannot wait to show you campus.
It's gonna be great.
I just I have to do
this one little speech,
and then it's just gonna be you and me.
Oh, I wanna see all the stuff
you used to write home about,
like the the Rose Parlor?
And the strawberry scones, yes.
And you'll get to meet Professor Merrim.
Oh! The famous Professor Merrim.
She's where it all started!
I you know
I could barely string a sentence
together when I got to Vassar.
Oh, that's not true.
On your sixth-grade report card,
it said, "aggressive with words."
I was flailing compared to
the boarding school girls.
But she she saw something
I don't know special in me, you know?
I remember she sat me down and she said,
"Stop worrying about
what other people hear
and fall in love with
your own unique voice."
- Gosh. I like her already.
- Yeah.
She's the only person I can imagine
writing the prologue for my book.
Bringing it full-circle.
I mean, there's poetry in that, Joycie.

Who wants melon?
It's Saturday. Why are you here?
I knew you'd be here working,
so I brought you brunch.
- [RICHIE] Oh.
- Bellini?
Oh, no. I can't.
My new agent wants an updated portfolio,
including a self-portrait
that shows the real me,
- whoever that is.
You ready?
- Old headshot's not cutting it.
I forgot you came to LA to act!
- And dance.
- [RICHIE] Mm.
- Oh, I thought you'd sip it.
What did you do?
It's from NASA.
What's from NASA?
The pill I cut into quarters, ground up,
and muddled into the peach juice.
It's called M-D-M
something. Letters don't matter.
Bambi, we talked about this.
I know. I just
I wanted to talk about our feelings
and go on a healing journey, you know?
The work will figure itself out.
Drugs are great for inspiration.
I know.
That's why I'm already on them.
I took two purple nurples
the second I got off the freeway.
I guess the only
responsible thing to do is
give me two of those so
we're on the same ride.
What kind of ride?
I'm guessing a fast one?

[DOUG] Hey, good-lookin'.
Oh, no! Now I have to start over!
You know how my mom is
about my makeup, my hair.
Yeah, your everything.
Hey, can I get a minute
to chat with you before the party?
I forgot to tell you
you're off the hook tonight.
Trust me.
It's the last place you wanna be.
What are you talking about?
Mom retiring?
Marvin taking over the stationery store?
It's gonna be intense.
Those are more reasons
why I should be there as
somebody who's more than your
My family doesn't know
that we're back together.
Are you kidding me?
You didn't tell them?
They weren't thrilled the first time.
- Then we broke up
- Okay.
Then you married someone else.
And they were actually
happy about that, but
- Okay.
- The second time?
Okay, okay, okay. Tins, look.
We have had a lot of zags,
but this is different.
This is our zig. Okay?
So call your mother
and tell her we are back together
and let me handle the rest, okay?
Oh, that's, uh
that's where Persephone Rising gathered
- to celebrate the equinox.
- Oh!
Well, it sounded silly
when you told me about it,
but now that we're here,
I kind of wanna throw on a white dress
and a flower crown.
That's Cushing House,
home of The Miscellany.
And where's the Rose Parlor?
I could really go for some scones.
Um, we already took our break.
What, when I peed at New Rochelle?
And we lost five minutes? Yes.
I had to wash my hands.
I don't mean to be so rigid.
We're all just very
excited to have an icon
of sexual liberation back among us.
Never apologize for
complimenting me to my face.
It's an honor to be back,
reaching out a hand to
lift up the next generation.
That's from my speech. Too much?
Almost not enough.


- Oh, look at this, Joycie.
You think Jackie O got this turnout
when she came back?
Well, yeah, but her
husband had just died.
Where's, uh, Professor Merrim?
Uh, office hours.
But she'll be here for the event.
Of course. Great, no.
I would never wanna steal her away
from shaping the minds of tomorrow.
That's where she gave me
my first sip of whiskey.
Oh, I wouldn't mind a
drink. Should we find a bar?
Actually, Joyce has President
Simpson right now for ten.
- Um
- Go, go. I'm a big girl.
- You sure?
- Yes, yes!
Okay, great. Bye! [CHUCKLES]

- [BAMBI] Just pick a genre!
Everything's good!
No, it's not right.
There's a perfect song,
and I'm gonna find it.
It's not the song that
matters, it's who you jam with.
When I listen to music with family,
everything sounds right.
We're not family.
We're friends who work together.
That is so mean.
It's not. I-it's a statement of fact.
Why do you wanna hurt me?
I don't! I love you!
[SCREAMING] Then why are you screaming?
You're in Joyce's office.
And you're in Doug's.
- Bad vibes!
- [BAMBI] Oh, my God!
[RICHIE] Ah! Go, go, go, go, go, go!
Did you at least tell your
mom that I'm driving a Rolls?
I feel like you should've led with that.
We didn't discuss what
you're currently driving.
[DOUG] I feel like she
might've been impressed.
[CHUCKLING] Hey, hey. You tickled me.
That's my that's my ticklish spot.
Since when are you ticklish?
Oh, you get older, you
can't drink as much,
you can't run as fast,
and you get ticklish.
[CHUCKLING] What do you want me to say?
How you feeling? You
feeling ready for this?
- This is a big night.
- Are you ready?
- Don't worry about me.
- Call my mom Mrs. Lewis, not Evelyn.
- Okay, of course.
- The silent guy with the captain's hat
is not her boyfriend, he's
her bachelor companion.
- And the hat is not for show.
- The man is a hero.
Whatever you do, don't mention Midway.
[SIGHS] You brought this sack of shit?
Hey, Ruby. Good to see ya.
I thought you said that
your sister liked me the
best out of everybody.
[CHEERFULLY] She does.
It's an honor to be back.
And I have one request.
Don't just surprise me.
Surprise yourselves.
[LAUGHING] Thank you, thank you.
Thank you, Ms. Prigger.
One of our most accomplished
and generous alumni.
And now, in your honor, the Night Owls.
All the leaves are brown ♪
And the sky is gray ♪
I've been for a walk ♪
On a winter's day ♪
You want this to be mom's
retirement and her funeral?
I knew this was a bad idea.
I'm here to help, not be a problem.
Too late. Let's just get this over with.
Mama, congratulations!
Ah! You're late.
Hey, my man.
[EVELYN] Mwah.
- Where's Doug sitting?
- I'm good to sit right here next to my
Sorry, man. No room.
Don't slap your brother.
He's a sensitive boy.
You called so late, I
couldn't get a bigger table.
But don't worry.
We'll find a spot for your supervisor.
Listen, if my eldest
would just ejaculate
into one dedicated sock
instead of anything
that was close at hand,
I tell you, I would
save years on laundry.
- Years!
The point is, that stain
will come out, no problem.
Club soda, salt.
- Soak, yes.
Oh, Joycie! Oh, you were great.
Let me introduce you to
my new friend, Doreen.
We met at the bar, but we
bonded over petit fours.
Professor Merrim!
Wait, you're Professor Merrim?
- You can call me Doreen now.
- Okay.
[LAUGHING] Hi, Doreen.
I can't This is Professor Merrim.
I know!
- You're quite the success.
- [JOYCE] Oh!
Your magazine is everywhere,
and you're not far behind.
- We are having a bit of a moment.
- [SHELLY] Yes.
And I hear you're writing a book.
Yes, and I have been dying
to talk to you about it.
So okay.
I'm actually thinking of using my thesis
as the jumping-off point.
So that makes you the
perfect person to ask to
I can't wait to read it.
You'll have to sign a copy for me.
And what about you?
Did you stay out West for school?
Well, I, um I started at Berkeley.
What? No, you married Lenny
right out of high school.
No, I did a semester at Cal.
Then Mom left and-and
somebody needed to come
home and-and help Dad.
Certainly wasn't gonna raise
an eight-year-old on his own,
so I dropped out.
[DOREEN] Sisters forced to navigate
the gender revolution without a mother.
Now that's a book I would read.
Not sure anyone cares about no.
It's more, um, ideas
that I'm interested in.
Sociopolitical commentary
Uh, you know, Shelly is a writer, too.
Oh, that makes sense.
- A natural raconteur.
What's your genre?
- Well, I
- Oh, it's so fun.
Her voice really reminds
me of Djuna Barnes.
Do you remember Cora from seminar,
and she could never say Djuna Barnes?
She would always say D-Juna. Remember?
And then she drove down with
us to the city to see that play,
the-the all-female
Hamlet in Central Park?
[CHUCKLING] I recall
seeing that production.
- Turgid.
- Well, you know,
obviously, you're not gonna
remember every single student.
You remember me, though.
Yes! How could I forget
your, uh, recontextualization
of Sor Juana de la Cruz?
Yeah, that got thesis of the year,
but, um, my friend Maggie wrote that.
Uh, Joycie did the Brontes.
Of course. I'm so sorry.
Oh, it's fine. [CHUCKLES]
I obviously don't remember
all of my professors.
Well, and now you brought
the Brontes to life.
Two sisters, two formidable writers.
Well, mine are just scribbles.
Don't diminish your talent like that.
The key is to stop worrying
about what other people hear
and fall in love with
your own unique voice.
There's nothing like it.
Well, thank you.
Are you all right, dear?
Joyce. My name is Joyce.
I need some air.
[CHILD] Meatball?
Oh, yeah.
Mm! Needs a little bit more sauce.
[CHILD] I licked it off.
So you sell magazines
about vaginas, huh?
About vaginas?
No, we're mostly in the, uh
- in the in the penis business now, actually.
- Mm.
So Benji, you've been with
this family longer than me.
How do I get from
this table to that one?
What's in it for me?
Helping me out. What do you mean?
What do you want, cash?
Minx subscription.
Full year, plus back issues.
- You're too young. How old are you, kid?
- [BENJAMIN] 13.
- You are 13?
- [BENJAMIN] Yeah.
- You got a place to store it?
- Yeah.
'Cause I used to keep mine, you know,
ladies underwear
catalogue, under a mattress.
- Where are you keeping yours?
- Amateur.
That's the first place they look.
I got a spot under the
floorboard of the kitchen.
There's still moonshine in there.
All right.
All right, fuck it.
You got a deal. Let's do this.
Grandma likes him best
'cause he needs her most.
That is really insightful stuff, man.
[CHILD] Do you want my spaghetti?
Oh, no thank you.
Thank you, though, for the offer.
It's so funny.
I can hear the colors.
And this one's screaming.
- [RICHIE] More taupe, please.
- No.
[WHISPERS] You're perfect.
How gorgeous are you?
I can see it now.
Why you have to leave our family.
You have so much more
to give this world.
Not a family. Just a workplace.
And you have more to give, too.
You're-you're so good
at loving and nurturing.
You have a real gift, Bambi.
[SINGER] Waiting for
someone to come on home ♪

Drugs are amazing.
- What? What is it?
We should do more.
Benji said you like a white Russian.
Mind if I sit down?
Well, thank you.
I gotta ask you, Marvin,
why do you hate me so much?
Why does everybody hate me?
Is it 'cause I was Tina's boss?
Is that it?
Nobody cares about that, man.
How do you think my dad
got together with my mom?
Then what is it?
'Cause I'm really
trying to make this work.
There's a chance you and I
are gonna be brothers one day.
Mm, I don't see that happening for us.
The store was Tina's.
That was always the plan.
Then you come along and hire her away.
Dad dies, Mom steps in.
Now it's my turn. You did all that.
Look, I've done a lot of
questionable things in my life,
but offering a talented woman a job
I don't see as one of them.
She loves her family.
She would never have just walked away.
You hypnotized her.
There was always a fire within her.
Maybe I fanned the flames
a little bit, but that's it.
- Nah.
- [DOUG] Yeah.
You talked her into it.
Hey, what did you even say, anyway?
I just told her the truth.
Judy, you'd be fascinated
by what Shelly's been working on.
Shelly, how would you describe it?
Oh, uh, I don't know.
Um, I guess I'd say, uh
I take Madame Bovary, uh,
a touch of the Marquis de Sade,
mix in a little Donna Reed [CHUCKLES]
and then use it all to explore
America's suburban anxiety.
Fuck, that sounds good.
She's been publishing at Minx.
I'm teaching a seminar next semester
on the modern erotic.
This sounds exactly
like the type of thing
I should include on the syllabus.
You remember Jared from First Baptist?
- Mm-hmm.
- He has four sons now.
I bet he's a great dad.
You could give him a call
since you love married men.
Happy retirement!
Oh, my goodness.
It's the day that
Your daddy took over
the store from Grampy.
- Oh, baby!
- I'm glad you like it.
- Thank you.
[TINA] Now listen, Mama.
About Doug.
Don't you think it's time that we
Hey, let's bring it in, everybody.
My lovely family, one
second, one second.
I know we're all gathered here today
to celebrate Mama's retirement
and the next generation
taking over Lewis Stationers.
Hey, hey!
Now, I had a nice conversation
with my brother, Doug Renetti.
Smart man.
Now, he convinced me that
I gotta start living my dreams,
and that means becoming
a long-haul trucker
and exploring the highways
and byways of this great land.
[WHISPERING] Jesus Christ.
To Doug!
[SINGER] Don't little
raindrops fall from the sky? ♪
Are there not
mountains ever so high? ♪
Does a candle flame bring light? ♪
Do I love you? ♪
Shel, you up?
Oh, oh, God!
Oh, God.
Oh, God.

Snake charmer!
[DOUG] I didn't tell him to leave!
I just told him what I told Tina!
- That's it!
- Confidence man!
- Mama, stop it!
It's not Doug's fault
nobody wants to work at
the damn stationery store.
If he hadn't come along,
I would've found another way to escape.
Hell, Ruby married the first guy she met
to get out of running the store.
- Hey, hey, hey. Hold up.
- [TINA] Sorry, Dave. Love you.
And Marvin, since when
are you into trucks?
The road calls. Always has.
- The road calls because you
- Because you killed his father.
- Mama, you gotta stop that.
You know Daddy died of emphysema.
After you left the store!
If anything killed Daddy,
other than emphysema,
it was the store,
which he hated more than any of us.
- Not more than me!
- Then sell it!
Don't pass it along like
a haunted hot potato.
I would never turn my back
on what this family built.
I understand duty,
unlike you,
who threw it all away to be secretary
to a twice-divorced, philandering
white pornographer!
- [SOFTLY] Yeah.
I haven't been a secretary
for more than a year.
And as a matter of fact,
I was just promoted.
I'm going to be running
the entire Minx international division.
Eight editions, four continents.
And I get to move to Europe!
So what exactly did I throw away?
What was that?
What were you doing in there?
And would you please
put a sock on the door?
Okay, I'm sure that was a lot.
Since when are you a you know
with Professor Merrim?
Oh, God. Just call her Doreen already.
I don't want to, Shelly.
This is-this is a
What about Lenny?
Well, Lenny and I have a
sophisticated relationship.
We're, you know
Holy shit. You're Bella LaRouche.
Light dawns on Marblehead.
This is just out of nowhere, Shel.
I've been trying to talk to you.
This trip is about my fellowship
and asking Professor
Doreen if she would
if she would write my
prologue, and now you've just
you've just twisted it into
your sexual exploration.
Jesus, Joyce. This
isn't about you for once.
- What does that mean?
- [SHELLY] What?
It-it means just that I am sick of you
paying zero attention to
anyone other than Joyce Prigger.
I mean, for Chrissake,
you didn't even remember
I went to college?
Oh, come on. Shel, I
was eight years old.
And I was, you know,
a bit distracted by the
fact that Mom had left.
What do you want from me?
Well, for starters, how
about some gratitude, okay?
I let go of my dreams
to take care of you.
You've gotten to be whoever you wanted.
Why can't it be my turn?
It can. It can, Shel, it-it's just
Just why here? Why now?
Joyce, I know you
wanted to come back here
so the world could gather at your feet
and tell you how brilliant you are,
but I am sick of putting my life on hold
to talk about yours.
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I've been promised the
full Vassar experience,
and I don't want to keep her waiting.
- Okay.
This is a sock.
I'm putting it on the
doorknob just so we're clear.
Did I just do that?
I can't believe I just did that.
I slapped her finger!
- Nobody stands up to my mom.
- You did.
I'm so glad you were
there and you saw that!
- Yeah.
- It was a real breakthrough moment.
- It was.
Hey, why didn't you tell me
about Minx International, Tins?
I'm a little confused.
Well, it happened
while you were in Vegas.
Constance made me promise
not to tell anybody, so
Well, I'm not anybody, right?
I know it was your idea.
So the fuck what?
You've kinda had a bad run.
Well, I'm happy for you.
This is a big deal for you.
But you didn't tell me
about business school.
You didn't tell me about this. I
I guess I didn't know how you'd take it.
You're the first person I
wanna share my news with,
good and bad.
I want to be that for you.
I want that, too.

Apology scones.
- Thanks.

I will be the first to admit
that we both said things we didn't mean.
I meant every word.

- Really?
- I regret yelling.
Okay, well, we can talk more
about it in the car, I guess.
Doreen invited me to breakfast.
I-I've decided to extend my stay.
For how long?
I-I I don't know.
[JOYCE] What?
Shel, what about the kids?
Oh, Lenny's more than
capable of handling them.
And hey, a flight alone?
You can work on your book.
There's not much to go on,
really. It's just a title.
Well, if you spend
some time with yourself
rather than seeking out
other people's praise,
maybe you'll know where to start.

Hey. We'll be good, okay?
[SINGER] Will things work out? ♪
I don't know any more ♪
There's, uh, an apple
orchard up Route 9.
Have Doreen take you.
[SINGER] That doing my
best never gave me ♪
[SOFTLY] Okay.


[TINA SIGHS] We're gonna be late.
Ten more minutes.

[SINGER] Try again, trying
to tell you something ♪
Words got stuck in my mind again ♪
Smile at you, hoping
you see me coming up ♪
Won't turn your back on
me ♪
Maybe this time ♪
[SINGER] Try again, trying
to tell you something ♪
Words got stuck in my mind again ♪


Excuse me.
- Are you
- Yes, I'm her.
I appreciate the interest,
but I'm very busy.
in 2A?
- Oh.
- I think you're in my seat.
- [CHUCKLING] Sorry.
- [TRAVELER] Okay.
[SIGHS] Rough morning.
- Um
- Oops.
- Squeeze by.
- Ooh, um, yeah.
[TRAVELER] Oh, shit!
Oh, wow. [CHUCKLES]
You really know what you're doing.
Thank you.
I mean, you're Joyce Prigger.
You know who I am?
Yeah. Doesn't everybody?
Would you mind signing this for me?
- [JOYCE] Uh
Ah, the guys in the
office are gonna freak out.
[SIGHS] Ooh.

All the leaves are brown ♪
And the sky is gray ♪
I've been for a walk ♪
On a winter's day ♪
I'd be safe and warm ♪
If I was in LA ♪
California dreamin' ♪
On such a winter's day ♪
Stopped into a church ♪
I passed along the way ♪
Well, I got down on my knees ♪
And I pretend to pray ♪
You know the preacher like the cold ♪
He knows I'm gonna stay ♪
California dreamin' ♪
On such a winter's day ♪

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