Mirzapur (2018) s02e05 Episode Script

Langda

1
Sunglasses, watches,
shoes and purses.
We'll quit this business if you
can identify which ones are fake.
Tell me, what would you like us
to push along with our goods?
How extensive is your network?
Four neighborhoods.
And a shop at the city square.
Housewives swear by us.
Four neighborhoods?
Housewives?
What's the area you
would like us to cover?
Much more than
four neighborhoods.
Why don't you give us a chance?
Ma'am
she
doesn't like to repeat herself.
After a point her gun will do the talking.
Don't worry.
But that's it.
You may leave.
This is not for me
it's for my mom.
She just had a
cataract operation.
Look
Please, I hope you understand.
Come on.
May God bless you.
I'll call you.
Is "Robin" even your real name?
Or is that fake as well?
And you change your mother every time?
Really?
I must have changed her
story at least 30 times.
But it doesn't make a difference to her.
She's a star, up there, in the sky.
That's the kind of
bullshit I was fed as a kid.
How does this look?
Would you like some tea?
I need a bigger distributor, Robin.
If we strike a deal,
you'll be earning as well.
I need someone who could
scare the shit out of
crooks like you.
The guy you met the other day.
The one from Bihar.
Introduce us.
Tyagi.
Tyagi.
Okay then.
Yeah?
Munna got away yet again, right?
Have you lost it?
You came here for
the deal all by yourself?
You didn't inform me either.
I'm planning something big.
And here you are pulling
off these idiotic stunts.
Do you realize how risky this was?
It felt good, Golu!
Strangling his scrawny
little neck felt so satisfying!
It made me feel
incredibly powerful!
Guddu Pandit is back.
And he's here to stay.
The enemy won't get away,
the next time I get my hands on him.
Whose decision was it?
It was mine, uncle.
You don't have to lie.
I'm not a child,
to allow others to make decisions for me.
It was my decision.
It was my decision at the meeting,
and so was this.
Pulling the trigger was
all you did at the meeting.
The decision was mine.
I haven't handed over
the reins of Mirzapur yet.
That was just a verbal announcement.
Elections are around the corner.
The violence needs to stop.
I had categorically
asked you to stay away.
Why did you go?
Because I didn't want to repeat
the mistake you once made.
That's the reason we went.
We would've had another
Rati Shankar in our life!
If you don't deal with
your enemy, in time
they become a painful tumor!
And you know that.
And since you're omniscient,
you must know
that Babar is now on Guddu's team.
The second stage of
election rallies begins today.
Go and handle the rallies.
And calm the fuck down.
You misbehaved with
the CM's daughter last time.
Behave yourself this time.
Go. Leave.
Bauji
I expected better from you.
Leave.
Fabulous mansion.
Doesn't look like it belongs to you.
Does it matter?
So, it's not yours.
You're one hell of a crook.
First, you forced your
way into my home.
And now you're in
a fucking mansion.
How the fuck
do you pull these things off?
It comes naturally.
I called you over
to help me exercise.
Yeah, my fees would
be 300 rupees per hour.
I've worked my ass
off to become a doctor.
I won't do it for free.
And you--
You haven't paid for
any of our previous sessions.
Let's settle the old accounts first.
Shall we begin?
18
19
One more.
Eventually, we'll get to 50.
That's our final goal.
Stand up.
Easy.
Walk.
Initially, you'll need help.
Okay?
Okay.
I'll help him.
You must do it twice a day, without fail.
Alright.
That's all for today.
Shabnam.
There's money in the cupboard.
Please pay him.
Thank you.
Please bring your
family along next time.
I'll get to meet Lippi.
Of course.
They would love to see the mansion.
Babar will take you home.
Okay.
Would you like to go
out with me some day?
It's been a long time since I've gone out.
I thought I should ask you.
Well
I won't be able to drive--
I'll drive.
I'll take you out.
Munna is here.
I was trying to call you.
So?
Ma'am was waiting.
If ma'am was waiting,
ma'am should've called.
Who the fuck are you?
Fuck off.
Did someone beat you up?
You want to win the elections, right?
Focus on the slogans.
-Long live
-Lok Swaraj Party!
-Long live
-Lok Swaraj Party!
-Long live
-Lok Swaraj Party!
Sorry.
Why don't you come
sit on my lap, asshole?
I lost my balance.
Papa has asked me to
behave with your ma'am.
I'll crush your balls and
throw you out of the jeep.
Fucking moron.
-Crime free
-Uttar Pradesh!
-Crime free
-Uttar Pradesh!
-Crime free
-Uttar Pradesh!
-Crime free
-Uttar Pradesh!
What does the report say?
Did you go see the doctor?
Everything is fine.
Beena
my feet haven't been
massaged for a long time.
It won't be right for her
in this condition, Bauji.
Radhiya will do it instead.
Not Radhiya.
I need her with me all the time.
Raja will do it.
Yes, ma'am.
I'll do it.
I was thinking
of visiting my parents this week.
Of course.
Lucknow's weather
will be good for the baby.
My mom wanted to
host a puja for me.
It doesn't matter.
You'll be blessed with a boy anyway.
The Tripathi seed is strong.
Our family only gives birth to boys.
I'll go get some rest.
Kaleen Bhaiya's family
is similar to ours.
In both households,
father and son don't see eye to eye.
The relationships in Kaleen Bhaiya's
family are very fragile.
And I can see it very clearly.
Guddu Bhaiya and Papa
Today Guddu Bhaiya and
Sweety went out on a date.
I was forced to accompany him
as his sidekick.
There I met
Sweety's sidekick, her sister.
Gajgamini.
I think I should tell Golu
how I feel
about her.
-No, I haven't
-No, I haven't said it yet.
We've only just met.
She's a bright shining star.
And, I, a pale shadow.
But maybe, one day,
we'll sip on some tea
nestled deep in a meadow.
For that day, I pine
The day I can finally call her mine.
Yeah, that's right.
Keep going.
-Come on.
-You're not teaching me properly.
I am scared.
There's no need to be scared.
Don't be scared. Go straight.
Come on.
-Right. Right--
-You're not teaching me properly.
Get the gear!
Where's the gear?
This is the gear.
First one's down and the rest is up.
And this
is the clutch.
Hold it like this.
Hold it like this,
and release it slowly.
By the way
in our family
girls never ask the guys out.
Guys usually do.
I hope that I haven't
forced you to come with me.
You asked me out,
because you wanted to.
I came along,
because I wanted to.
Shall I take you on a long drive?
I hope you're not getting late.
Hurry up, Mr. Pandey!
We're running out of time.
Bhaiyaji
we'll finish loading the
consignment for Bihar in an hour.
Maqbool
I want more security
at Beena's house.
I want complete protection
for the next few months.
And
deal with Babar as well.
I've a Dasheri mango as well.
Have a look.
-Would you like--
-No, I prefer Langda.
-How much?
-50 rupees for a pair.
Give me two kilos.
Hey, mister!
Stop honking or else I
will shove it up your ass!
Move it!
Raise the window.
Raja.
Ma'am has sent some mutton for you.
Bablu was right.
Kaleen Bhaiya's family
is the chink in his armor.
We will have to take advantage of that.
That is the only way!
But until then,
we must strengthen ourselves.
Introduce me to your senior officer.
Golu.
Yes?
Did you talk to Guddu?
I did.
But they are yet to meet.
See you, dear.
Money is important to everyone.
That's how we will get along.
Let me fix this city.
You can reap the rewards.
The government will give you medals
and I'll give you cash.
You mean, I have to do nothing.
Just give you the details of
all the criminals in the city.
Every last detail.
Done.
COMPLAINT REGISTER
Sir
I beg you!
My son will pay
you when he returns.
-Hey!
-Hey!
Get back!
Motherfucker!
Gajanand Chauhan.
Why are you hitting me?
What have I done?
Who are you?
Come here, auntie.
You manhandled her, right?
You could have just told me
that your son is a bloody hulk!
He is not my son.
Go on, auntie.
He had been harassing me for months.
Sir!
Why the hell are you thrashing me?
Who are you?
Guddu Pandit.
Say it.
Guddu Pandit.
If anyone of you
is harassed by
him
or men like him
I am here for you!
What's my name?
-Guddu Pandit!
-Guddu Pandit!
-Guddu Pandit!
-Guddu Pandit!
-Guddu Pandit!
-Guddu Pandit!
-Guddu Pandit!
-Guddu Pandit!
That's more like it!
-Guddu Pandit!
-Guddu Pandit!
Guddu got away
and Akhanda now thinks
I'm a failure.
It's an age-old rivalry, Sharad.
You will get another opportunity.
But this time
you made a serious mistake.
I listened to my heart
instead of using my mind.
And I paid the price.
I shouldn't have
put myself on the line.
Babar betrayed my trust, Mother.
He must be punished.
The biryani's been
cooked over a slow flame.
Yes, uncle.
Enjoy it.
Yes, uncle.
Are you alright?
Yes, uncle.
-Is Guddu alright?
-Yes, uncle.
Babar
did you forget where
your loyalties lie?
How can I forget, uncle?
You've taught me well.
My loyalties lie with Guddu.
And mine with Kaleen Bhaiya.
Loyalty is a bitch, uncle.
I'm doing my job.
You can do yours.
Come in, whoever you are!
Do you have some more
stuff?
No, I don't.
Papa has asked me to
stay away from you.
He will fuck me over.
I really hate your language, Munna.
I am roaming around
with guns in my jeep.
Together we're screwing the public
with our election campaign.
You're asking me if I've some "stuff".
And my language is the only
thing you have a problem with?
You're weird.
I've never seen anyone like you.
Because there is no one like me.
God made me
and it scared
the shit out of him.
He thought there would be
chaos if he made another.
You wanted to know
if I've had sex for the past year?
I haven't.
Take it off.
I've always hated it!
What else do you hate?
I hate clothes.
Are you planning on hurting me?
You see, JP?
That's how you get support.
Tripathi
has got us the funds and
has mobilized votes as well.
And his son, Munna has also
been working overtime with Madhuri.
Tripathi is a great guy.
I'm inviting him for
the final election rally.
In politics, it is not the
person that matters,
but what the person can do for you!
I have the information about the truck.
Junior will handle it.
Alright.
THE STATE OF BIHAR
WELCOMES YOU
Get down, assholes.
Welcome to Bihar.
Stop squirming around, dipshit.
I'll blow your brains out.
Your information was bang on.
I'm taking the guns and the truck.
Goodbye.
Munna Bhaiya,
the truck we sent to Bihar
has been seized
by some local gang.
Fuck!
Can't even fuck in peace.
Answer the phone.
Yeah, Munna?
Yeah, Sharad.
One of our consignments
has been hijacked in Bihar.
Papa is already in a bad mood.
He'll flip out if he finds out.
I didn't know who I could call,
so I called you.
Bihar?
Do you have any connections?
Maybe, I can help.
Please do.
I'll try.
The Tyagis have seized your consignment.
They have complete control
over the UP-Bihar border.
I know them.
Bharat Tyagi
he's a friend.
Can you get our consignment back?
You expect better from me, right?
I won't disappoint you.
Munna
Tyagis are clearly more powerful
than the guys we're dealing with in Bihar.
I'm assuming they have a
higher purchasing capacity.
So, instead of just getting
our consignment back
try striking a deal.
-Right?
-Of course.
They definitely have a
much higher capacity, uncle.
Dadda Tyagi is a big man.
Tyagi.
Calm down!
Everyone will be rewarded.
Dadda has always kept his word.
Where the hell is Raghu?
With your blessings, Dadda.
Please, come.
Sorry, Dadda.
I was running a little late.
I was having lunch.
It's alright, Raghu, mistakes happen.
Yes.
Come on, let's get started.
Ramdas!
Yes, sir!
He stole three hatchbacks.
Okay.
Thank you, Dadda.
Go on, enjoy
Sohan!
Coming, sir.
He stole two
minivans and a sedan.
Really?
Greetings, Dadda.
Need your blessings, Dadda.
Iqlakh!
Coming, sir.
Where are you?
We have entered Siwan,
will be there in half an hour.
Okay. I am waiting.
Dadda
remember, I had talked to
you about this guy, Mr. Kamani?
He's here.
Alright.
Ramvachan!
We have an established business
of second-hand cars in the West.
And now
the company wants me
to work my magic in Bihar.
Your company's taken a good decision.
You see, Mr. Tyagi, in order
to expand our business,
I need the same
piece of land as you do.
Let's keep the bidding fair
for all our sakes.
You're a well-respected
businessman in Siwan
but don't expect me
to bow down to your ways.
Yes, you're
absolutely right.
That's how business should be done.
No one needs to bow down.
Please come.
You might have to bow down a bit.
Have a seat.
In Bihar, if you wait for too long,
you'll lose your seat.
Please, have a seat.
Sit.
Well, the thing is
I don't understand
this concept of bidding.
What do you mean?
It's pretty simple.
Well, no one dares to bid against me.
Are you
threatening me?
There's no network in here!
Of course there isn't!
You'll only get
my provider's network here.
He's installed a special tower for me.
We've all arrived, Dadda!
Give us the order.
What the hell is this nonsense?
Don't worry, Mr. Kamani.
The land belongs to these people.
That's the reason I've invited them.
Why don't you guys
discuss this and sort it out?
What the hell are you doing?
Leave me! Let me go!
He's the guy who wants to
take your land, your home!
-Wait!
-Foreign multinational company
We can talk.
Finish him!
Alcohol is banned in Bihar.
But thanks to Dadda Tyagi,
our business is booming
in that region.
He's running the show in Bihar.
Great.
Let's see what your "big man"
Mr. Dadda Tyagi has to offer.
Why the hell have you
hired this deaf bastard?
He can handle himself,
handle a gun,
and is loyal as well.
That's it.
Dadda
the gun consignment we
had captured belongs to them.
He's a friend of Sharad.
He says they would like
to do business with us.
It's a trivial issue, Bharat.
You decide.
That's Dadda?
Where's the rest of him?
It's done.
Shall we begin?
Great.
Would you like some tea or some juice?
We'd like an advance, Mr. Bharat.
That's how the arms business works.
Fair enough.
Wanna see a magic trick, Ginni?
Magic!
Magic!
Abracadabra!
What card is it?
Can I guess it?
Ace of Spades.
-Show me.
-Ace of Spades.
Do you want to join the circus?
With your blessing, Dadda.
-Have a seat, Saloni.
-Sure.
Where's brother?
I am here, Junior.
If we don't have dinner together,
then Dadda will kill us.
Here.
Uncle, why do you always
wait for Papa to start first?
That's because I am five
minutes older than him.
That's the reason I am Senior Tyagi
and your uncle is Junior Tyagi.
Get it?
Dadda
have you given my
proposal a thought?
If you could help me start a garage,
I could be my own boss.
Money doesn't grow on trees.
-No, I--
-We'll do it when the time's right.
Bharat
we were supposed to get
the new stock today, right?
Stop it.
You guys are always discussing business.
No talking shop at the dinner table.
-Geeta--
-I've said it!
You can eat outside
if you don't like it.
There's no need to have dinner together.
Mom
you're the only one these men fear.
You keep them in check.
You should learn this, Saloni.
It will come in handy.
Junior
when are you settling down?
Come on, Mom!
Why don't you find me
someone just like Saloni?
If you find someone decent,
I'll say yes immediately.
Really?
He's gonna say yes immediately.
He's in a hurry!
Munna has gone the distance
with the CM's daughter.
I thought you should know.
Confirmed?
Yes.
I'll take your leave, bhaiyaji.
Goodbye.
Bauji!
Oh, God!
Shit.
I'm really tired, Bauji.
It was a long drive.
Papa!
Have you ever tried wine?
This stuff is for amateurs.
That is the real deal.
Always
keep your tongue
and your dick in control.
You're a penis masquerading
as a human being!
I had told you to stay away
from the CM's daughter!
And you screwed her?
There's nothing wrong
with screwing a woman, Akhanda.
He is a Tripathi.
Tripathis can set the bed on fire
in their seventies as well!
But, Bauji, her father is
the fucking chief minister!
Relationships in politics are
shaped by personal interests.
That is all that matters.
You know that, right?
Have you read history?
Relationships that are forged and
bound by matrimony are difficult to break.
I hope you've at least
seen Hrithik's film?
King Akbar and the Rajputs
settled their differences
through Jodha Bai.
Bauji, we're brahmins
and they are yadavs.
Yaduvanshi.
How is it possible?
Do you know why the
caste system was established?
It was established so that the we
brahmins could retain all the power.
This relationship
will achieve the same goal.
Turn this copulation into a union.
That's it.
Why the hell do you want to
turn this copulation into a union?
Papa, I--
Bauji!
This is unfair!
This is my decision to make.
I'm telling you I won't do it!
This--
And I don't want to be Hrithik Roshan!
It was a long wait,
but finally, your daughter
has given us some good news.
Kaleen Bhaiya is an arms dealer.
His guns were bound to fire!
You're going to be a mother!
Make sure you're calm and
happy at all times, Beena.
I'm always calm, Mom.
I am Kaleen Bhaiya's wife after all.
I can get the people who provoke
me buried deep in the ground.
You must pray every day.
Chant this mantra 108 times every day.
You'll be blessed with a son.
I will, auntie.
I need to give birth to a boy
at any cost.
Yeah, I'll be in Lucknow tomorrow.
Alright.
Where's Babar?
He isn't answering my calls.
Munna!
This is an important rally.
Be careful.
The media will be watching.
Okay.
Maqbool
did you deal with Babar?
Yes, bhaiyaji.
I will keep my end of the deal
and you keep yours.
Would you like some eggs?
The factory is working
overtime mass-producing guns.
And the security is low.
Kaleen Bhaiya has
deployed most of them here.
I didn't see anyone outside.
I sent them to the market
since you two were coming.
But Kaleen Bhaiya is still in Mirzapur.
The CM has personally invited him
and Munna.
This is the final rally
before the elections.
Confirm?
Hundred percent.
You can see it on TV.
-Crime-free Uttar Pradesh!
-Crime-free Uttar Pradesh!
-Crime-free Uttar Pradesh!
-Crime-free Uttar Pradesh!
-Crime-free Uttar Pradesh!
-Crime-free Uttar Pradesh!
MIRZAPUR 50 KILOMETERS
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