Miseducation (2023) s01e05 Episode Script

Episode 5

[male in Xhosa] If it's not load shedding,
it's this fake app that is crashing.
We're in hell in this country.
[lady1 in English]
The server just crashed.
How am I gonna submit my assignment?
[lady 2] Bruh, this actually gives me
more time to finish my assignment.
How are we gonna vote?
[lady 3] Vote?
Varsity servers and the app
crashing on voting day?
It's giving corruption.
[upbeat music playing]
- [door shuts with a bang]
- [panting]
- [student1] This is never gonna work.
- [student2] No, what's the solution?
- [student3] That's all the
- Okay!
- One at a time.
- How does the voting app
crash just like that?
[Nomusa] I have the same question.
Er Vice Chancellor,
the team and I are running diagnostics
to see exactly what happened.
And why exactly must we trust your team?
Agreed. They are agents of the white man
used to infiltrate our phones,
and mine our Black intelligence.
This is exactly why
I only communicate on the dark web.
On your phone?
Huh, no. On my laptop.
But they can track your laptop.
[whispers] Dammit then.
Please we need a few hours to get
everything up and running again. Yes?
Chief, we don't trust your few hours.
Matter of fact, we demand a manual vote.
It's not 1994, bro.
We still stand
in long queues for the national elections.
Exactly, while they take
more and more land for playing rugby.
We can't just change things.
- There are processes.
- Do you really care about the students
or are you just another brown face
for this colonialist institution?
Watch your tone, Mr. Mokoena.
Without people like me,
you wouldn't be here.
This is why we shouldn't have been rushing
the voting in the first place guys.
You're only saying that because
you know that you are going to lose.
- [mocking voice] Uncle Drip!
- [students laughing]
Fuck you, Caesar!
- Hey, gentlemen!
- Gentlemen, come on!
The ball is in your court,
Vice Chancellor.
We will table the matter
for discussion next month.
No. Monday.
And if this is not resolved by then,
then we'll make Fees Must Fall look like
another orientation-week celebration!
Is that a threat, Mr. Mokoena?
[inhales deeply] It is a promise.
[in Zulu] Let's go, Themba.
[theme music playing]
[in English] Was it you?
Did you sabotage me?
No! But whoever did
deserves to get their dick sucked.
- [Jay] Why, you
- [tense music playing]
If I find out that you had
anything to do with this,
I swear, I'll end you, you hear me?
Touch me again,
and I won't shut up next time.
[upbeat music playing]
Fuck you, Caesar.
- You would love to Bitch!
- [upbeat music playing]
[knock on door ]
This is all your fault.
Jay, I am so sorry.
- I was just desperate and
- What are you talking about?
- Wait, what are you talking about?
- Caesar!
If you'd just made me
fucking out the asshole,
he wouldn't be running for president.
Oh, that?
I told you to report
that off-brand Malema.
- What happened?
- Have you not seen?
The voting app crashed
and he thinks I did it.
So what are they going
to do now with the voting?
Oh, well they want us to miraculously
come up with a manual vote by next week.
A manual vote? Like ballots and shit?
Yep, that Nelly M type of freedom shit.
[Jay exhales sharply]
- Okay. We don't have to out Caesar.
- [tense music playing]
But we can definitely stop him
and make Sivu president.
Chances of that happening are lower than
Tristan Thompson being monogamous, babe.
Ah, dude, you have access
to the material of the votes,
you're a genius at photoshopping.
This would be so simple.
No, wait.
You're suggesting that
we rig the election?
Listen, I hate Caesar but this is extreme.
These are extreme times, Jay.
Who knows how many
more men he's gonna hurt?
He needs to be stopped.
You know, my mother
warned me about varsity girls.
And I truly understand what she means now.
Does this mean you won't do it?
Fuck. Let's Ides-of-March,
this motherfucker!
- [Jay sighs]
- It's April.
Just It's okay.
["Home Alone" playing]
- [knock on door]
- [In Xhosa] Dad?
- I'm coming.
- Dad, it's me.
All this elections craze is a circus!
And I know they'll use the
crashing of the app as an excuse
to delay the elections,
whilst we have
to deal with this fee increase.
- Calm down, my child.
- [phone buzzing]
your anxiety will be aggravated.
Caesar's calling us all for a meeting.
My child
Please leave
this political craziness alone
and pay attention to your studies.
Don't roam around, acting like a hero.
You're here to represent your family,
and become the first graduate at home.
Forget about partaking in politics.
Dad, I can't succeed
if I don't play the politics game.
We don't have money
to pay for the tuition fees
- We will find a way.
- How, Dad?
I don't want to live in a backroom.
- [melancholic music playing]
- I'm sorry, Dad.
I know you work very hard for us.
[phone chimes]
I really have to go, Dad.
[knock on door]
[in English] Er, just hold on.
Come in, Dad.
- How'd you know it was me?
- [chuckles]
- Mom doesn't knock.
- Right.
Uh, there's some pizza left.
Are you okay?
Yeah, it's just been
one of those days, you know.
Yeah. Tell me about it. Whoa!
The voting app crashing,
this manual election,
someone breaking into Clint's studio
Sivu and Pearl breaking up.
- What?!
- I know.
He just told us now over dinner.
About, er, Van Heerden's studio, what
Oh yeah, crazy, eh?
They said someone
stole a camera or something.
The police are gonna
sweep the place but, yeah.
Are you
you sure you don't want to talk? Hmm!
Okie dokie. Pizza's in the fridge.
- I took the pineapple off for you, so
- Thanks.
Maybe you can teach Mom some of that
[both giggle]
- I'll
- Yeah.
[dog barking at a distance]
We got a second chance.
Manual election's on Monday.
I'm not doing that.
The sooner these elections are over,
the sooner this nightmare can end.
This is the universe
telling you that you can still win.
I'll put together a rally
- to show you still have support
- Mbali
- What?
- It's bad enough that
Pearl has already
ended things with me, okay?
I can lose these elections on my own.
I'm good.
- [Mbali sighs]
- Hey, you know what you can do though?
How about you campaign for some NikNaks?
I can feel the munchies coming on.
[exhales loudly]
[Caesar laughing mockingly]
You backed the wrong horse.
Shouldn't you be getting
your prostate checked or something?
You could have been
something with me, hey?
Look, now. A little infamy, and poof!
You're gone,
just like another Black DA leader.
- The election isn't over yet, Caesar.
- [Caesar laughs]
[in Sotho] Gents, please excuse us.
- Sure.
- Sure.
[in English] It's not too late
for you to join my side.
With your connections and my reputation
we can take over the world.
- I would rather eat glass.
- [tense music playying]
Bon appétit!
[in Sotho] Let's go, gents!
[Caesar continues his laughter]
[Jay in English] So this is the
final mock up for the ballots.
We just need to print.
How many printouts are we talking?
- A hundred?
- [Jay giggles]
Two hundred?
- Try 3,000.
- The fuck?!
About 6,000 people registered to vote.
We'll need 3,000 ballots voting
for Sivu to swing it in his favor.
But where the hell
are we going to secretly
print out that many ballots?
[upbeat music playing]
Are they dirty?
Hold up! Say what, now?
Do you want to rig this election or not?
Not with my dirty panties, I don't.
I've seen this guy's only fans.
This is the only way.
Plus, bitch, you're a Hadebe.
Dirty laundry is your thing.
Back to the plan.
[soft moan]
How many copies?
Okay so, the voting stations
open from 9:00am to 9:00pm.
Then, the votes are taken to
the election office which is
traditionally the administration building,
- where they're counted.
- Wait,
so, if they're gonna count the
votes that same night,
we need to swap them out that evening.
But how do we get in
and out without getting busted?
We need a distraction.
No. This is dumb,
and we're never gonna pull this off.
[whispers] Let's just get high.
No. We're going to figure this out.
- What if we get caught?
- We won't.
- [door opening]
- Did I See, I told you! I told you
- we're going to get busted while
- Shh!
[Aphiwe in Xhosa]
For Christ sake, Mbali, open the door!
[in English] Go away!
This is my room too.
[in Xhosa] This brat! [grunts]
[in English] Jay has
a massive rash on his penis
and I am rubbing ointment on it.
I think he has an STI.
[in Xhosa] I'll give you 15 minutes.
I hope you washed your hands
before touching this door.
Bloody hell!
- [Mbali sighs]
- [in English] Seriously?!
That's what you
could come up with? Rashy penis?
Well, you made some stranger
sniff my panties, so I guess we're even.
[sighs] Now,
let's move this party to your room.
That was way too close, Jay.
You think?
We're just
[Natalie] Guys, I've got drinks,
and I thought
that we could do this on my list.
Woo! Drunk tattoo?
I'm gonna get one on my butt saying,
"Never Fuck A Van Heerden." Whoa!
You don't have enough ass for that, babe.
And I thought I told you
that we're not chilling tonight.
Yeah, but if this is
about Jay's rashy penis,
you really have no shame
because I get rashes all the time.
- You told her?
- Chill!
Look, he's just really vulnerable
about his little Jay.
- Little?
- You know,
You guys waxed my vagina,
so I just feel like we should
all be open about our parts.
Uh, I'm just not as vulnerable as you.
Okay? And Mbali just has
so much experience handling dick.
Okay, girlfriend.
See you soon. Stay safe.
- [Jay] Love you.
- [Natalie sighs]
- Well, use ointment.
- [Mbali] Mm-hmm!
Little, really?
You just never want me to have sex again?
I feel like I kicked a puppy.
Maybe we should tell her.
- That is a strong no.
- [whispering] Okay.
We can't risk her
telling Sivu. I mean[sighs]
his heart would be broken
if he had to find out that
he only won because we cheated.
- [students chattering indistinctly]
- [upbeat music playing]
Oh no, relax
Come on, man! What are you doing here?
- Ok, I will be chilled.
- No need to do this bruh!
- Hey.
- Piss off!
[lady] Okay. Calm down.
- Relax! I just arrived.
- Hey!
- Kyle!
- What are you doing?
What do you mean, what I am doing?
Bro, bro!
I came here to jol with you!
- You're drunk, man.
- No.
- You need to get out of here.
- I, need to celebrate
'Cause you say you want me to lose.
- Bro, I never wanted you to lose.
- Shh!
You wanted me to win
so I could do things your way.
- That's fucked up.
- You're fucked up!
You're fucked up!
[Sivu laughing hysterically]
[dog barking]
- [door opening]
- Mom, I swear to God if you don't knock
one more time, I'm going
to join a men's Afri-forum group!
It's you.
Just didn't make sense,
spending the night with a gay penis.
Oh No. I've got Jay's car.
So no drinking for me.
- Mbali,
- Hm.
do you prefer hanging
out with Jay more than me?
Do not be weird.
You're both my ride-or-dies. Okay?
Besides, I don't break
into studios with just anyone.
- Yeah, about that
- Mm-hmm.
my parents know
about Van Heerden's camera.
- You told them?
- No, of course not. But
I'm scared that
they going to find out it was me.
and that I took the photos,
and then I slept with him, and God,
I really don't want them
to find out about this
because I don't even
want to know about this.
Hey, this is
a zero-self-slut-shaming zone. Okay?
Van Heerden
can get another camera. [sniggers]
So, what are we scratching off
next from The List?
And I'm not getting a tattoo tonight.
- There is that one thing.
- What?
You know,
I still haven't kissed a girl yet.
Oh honey, I'm strictly dickly.
Are you sure about that?
Because you haven't been
interested in one guy
since you've been here.
- [phone chimes]
- [Mbali] Oh,
Who is it?
Uh, it's um
What's happening tomorrow?
What's going on, Mbali?
Uh, ride request. I'll catch you later.
Well, I guess
I'm the "die" in "ride-or-die."
[Sivu] Just let go of me!
Guys, fuck, man!
- You're going to get out.
- [Sivu grunts]
Fuck you! Actually fuck you cause
You don't have a medal,
you don't have a medal
- I don't know who you are!
- You're going to find out.
But none of you have a medal
so you can suck this.
- Suck.
- [guy] Walk away bro. Walk away.
- [knocking the door]
- What the fuck. Get the fuck out of here.
Let's go, man.
[door closes]
Fuck those guys.
Well, this is not the Sivu I know.
Which Sivu is that?
The guy who fucking defended me
after knowing me for what,
a whole two minutes.
No one has ever done that for me.
Then you must know
some really shitty people, hey?
I'm gonna need to see more of that guy.
So can you please just
fucking cancel this pity party?
Because you definitely don't deserve it.
Dude, you literally started
from the bottom and now you're here.
And this is not
in the Levins. This is all you.
Anyone can fucking row.
You came back with a medal.
And I never like anyone
but here I am busy fighting for you!
Things will be fine.
They'll work out. You'll see.
- If you say so.
- Hmm!
Mbali, cause you like me.
[stops giggling, starts to agitate]
Sivu Levin, if you throw up in this car,
I'll definitely vote for Mubarak!
You better keep that shit in!
["We Go Bos" by Youngsta CPT playing]
I'm so over this election already.
It's all my parents can talk about.
Can we hang out tonight?
I need you to get me away from them!
Jay and I have plans,
I'm going to have to hang out
with my dependable friends.
My cellphone and my shower head.
Hey, please wait one second.
You can go to that one.
- [siren blaring]
- Wake up, sheep!
You're being silenced.
I am your voice. Wake up!
Wake up!
Find your voice!
I am your voice!
You're being silenced!
Don't be misled!
Vote for your one true savior.
Vote for Mubarak!
[upbeat music playing]
[Mubarak's supporters rioting]
Get lost!
Come on!
- Did the flash drive work?
- [Mbali exclaims]
Never do that again
unless you want to get smacked!
- [Mbali sighs]
- What about Natalie?
Did you speak to her?
She's thinking about it.
Oh, I should just talk to her.
Natalie hates desperate guys.
Okay? So you just need to play it cool.
- Really?
- Trust me.
I'll keep working on her,
you just need to stay
far away from her.
- Okay?
- Okay.
So, no calls, no texts,
not even DMs.
I'm talking, no smoke signals. Nothing!
- Promise?
- Promise!
- [Mubarak] What can't live
- Can't die!
- What can live
- Can never die!
- What can't live
- Can't die!
- What can live
- Can never die!
Were you sent here
by the SSA to spy on us?
Everyone knows that this is your spot.
Besides, there's no point spying on
someone who isn't even a contender.
- She's a hater!
- Hater!
- Hater!
- Shh!
Hater? Please.
Everyone knows that
the system is sabotaging you.
And the way
they dragged you out is unjust.
Aren't you Team Sivu?
Why are you talking to us?
Well, I think that
Okay then.
Well I think,
that Caesar chose the manual vote
so he could rig the elections.
Just like the Russians did
with Trump. I mean, can't you see?
Caesar is part of the system.
Getting re-elected every year,
and never graduating.
Open your third eye, my brother.
I knew it!
[in Pedi] I knew it! I told you all.
And that's why you should stop
the counting of the votes tonight.
Save us from Babylon.
[whispers] Babylon!
- What can live
- Can't die!
- What can live
- Can never die!
- What can live
- Can't die!
- What can live
- Can never die!
[upbeat music playing]
War of soldiers ♪
War of guerillas ♪
War of guerillas ♪
Who will strike first ♪
Raenbows, after what has probably
been the most chaotic
election season in GU history,
voting is over. The counting begins.
Who will be our next president?
[footsteps approaching]
How many votes do you think
they've counted by now?
Your distraction plan
is taking way too long.
- Okay? What is happening?
- Any minute now.
You know what? Fine!
You wait, I'm out of here.
Will never die. Can't die!
- What can't live
- Can't die. Will never die.
Mubarak? Really?
[in Zulu] We are tired,
we are tired of these people.
- We are tired.
- Burn them.
[in English] No,
that was not part of the plan.
Not only are we corrupt,
but we're arsonists too!
Free the people!
[in Zulu] Step out!
[in English] Step down!
Free the people!
- [Clint] See what you've done!
- Look.
[people coughing]
Okay. Show time.
Fuck! No!
Remember, this is to stop Caesar.
I should have just slashed
his tires like a normal person.
- [upbeat music continues]
- [both coughing]
- Okay, you take that box.
- [Jay whimpering]
Oh my god!
What are you guys doing?
Can you not see there's a fire?
Natalie, what are you doing here?
I've been following you
all day because clearly,
- you've been lying to me.
- We do not have time for this please.
Are you guys rigging the votes?
I know this looks weird
but we're doing this for Sivu.
They're gonna be here soon!
And you, if you're not going to leave,
can you help us before we get busted?
- But I don't think there's a
- Natalie!
I didn't flinch when you
needed help with Van Heerden
So are you gonna stand there,
or are you gonna be a friend?
- No! In the bag. Bag!
- Yes.
- Please!
- Bag!
[paper rustling]
[siren blaring]
Guys! That's the police!
- The police!
- [Natalie] Shit! Okay. Come!
Come! Slackers!
Shake what your Mama gave you!
Now she turns
into fucking Black Widow. Really?
[window opening]
We shall not stop! Aluta continua!
Shut down, Babylon!
[all panting heavily]
Holy shit! That was insane!
It was so not on my list.
- But it was fucking awesome!
- Can't you be serious?
We could get expelled! Okay?
How are you going
to explain that to your parents?
Or to Sivu.
So you'd better keep
those thin lips of yours shut!
It's not my lips that
have a problem. I get fucking hives.
- Can you
- Please
You will keep this secret. For Sivu.
We did the right thing. Okay?
We're not going to get caught. Trust me.
Now, let's finish this.
Okay. Someone's coming.
- Fire.
- I think someone is coming.
- Ah, Fuck it!
- [fire flames sizzling]
- What the fuck?
- Did you notice only blacks are arrested?
- Let's go.
- What?
Raenbows, this election
has gotten way too hot to handle.
With Mubarak suspended after the fire,
we're down to Sivu and Caesar.
I'm just happy
this election is almost over.
Sounds the call to come together ♪
And united we shall stand ♪
Let us live and strive for freedom ♪
- In South Africa our land. ♪
- [crowd cheering]
After Mubarak's fire, I'm pretty sure
this entire election is cursed.
Okay, it may be
but you aren't. You've got this.
Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen.
This has been a very strange
and difficult election,
but through our collective efforts,
we were able to pull it off.
Without further ado,
I'm happy to announce
that we have a new SRC president.
Sivuyile Levin.
Yes, Sivu!
You did it! You're a winner!
You won!
Yes! Go Sivu!
Go Sivu!
Congratulations, Sivuyile.
- Thank you, ma'am.
- With Caesar being the favorite,
has this win surprised you?
What's your stance on Fees Must Fall?
Will you be leading the fight?
I can answer that.
[students murmuring]
- I Sorry, excuse me.
- Only president-elects
are allowed on stage.
Young lady, you can take a seat,
please we've got it covered.
- Just hold on!
- [Vice chancellor] Go sit down.
- I'm
- Order! Please, take a seat!
I'm sorry VC, but I need
to answer this question.
Good afterno Good afternoon.
My name is Mbali Hadebe,
Sivu's campaign manager,
and I'll be taking questions.
But aren't you scandal-stricken
Brenda Hadebe's daughter?
Yes. That is my mother, but,
I am part of a new generation of politics.
One that fights
for its students, instead of
instead of capitalizing on their problems.
And how will you be doing that?
Well, Sivu and I have been
Sivu and I are already doing it.
We have removed
the symbols of colonization,
we have called for the end of
harmful initiation practices,
and we will fight.
We will fight against
the increase of fees for next year.
[students cheering]
[in Zulu] Get out! Get out!
[in English] Not only that.
Not only that, but we,
we will fight to change
this institution's name
to Makhanda University.
- [in Zulu] Power!
- Is ours!
- Power!
- Is ours!
I demand a recount.
There's no way Sivu Levin beat me fairly.
- You need an appointment.
- [in Sotho] Back off!
- [in Zulu] It's alright, Themba.
- My leader
- [in English] Numbers don't lie.
- Well, I reject those numbers.
The results are final.
Any more scandal around this election
will undermine the process.
Look, the students
have chosen a more diplomatic president.
You can learn a thing or two from him.
You did this!
You helped this errand boy cheat, right?
The race is over.
I look forward
to your graduation, Mr. Mokoena.
This is not over.
[in Sotho] I promise you.
[in English] You'll see.
[shouts] This is not over!
What now?!
Afternoon. [clears throat]
This was found in the server room.
A flash drive. So what?
It has virus software on it.
Powerful enough to bring down the servers.
So, the app didn't just crash?
I'm afraid not.
[upbeat music playing]
Subtitle translation by: Regina Njoku
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