Moonlighting s05e06 Episode Script

Take My Wife, For Example

Be a good boy, huh? Okay, Buster.
Okay, Buster.
Okay, Buster.
it's all right.
You've had a chance to look this over.
May I suggest we get down to business? I think you'll see that our proposal is reasonable and fair.
More than fair.
Now, we've given you your division of the community property.
We've given you the Tebonn portfolio.
Full title to the foreign real estate.
And you get the parrots.
Now, my client wants this settlement to be amicable as possible.
Then don't jerk us around on the alimony.
How's Lydia supposed to maintain her lifestyle on this figure? I don't care about the money.
She can have anything she wants.
I just wanna make sure that we're doing the right thing here.
Have we really tried everything? -Nathan, this was your idea.
Maybe I'm having second thoughts.
Oh, this is not a counselling session.
Oldest story in the book.
Your client pleads irreconcilable differences until he sees the alimony figure on the paper and suddenly my client's little annoying habits aren't so annoying after all.
He doesn't want you back, he wants a discount, right? -Don't bully my client.
-Don't insult us with the offer.
Lydia, can I talk to you alone? I do not want you to talk to her at all.
You talk to me.
-It wouldn't do any harm if I spoke-- -Please, trust me.
I've seen this a thousand times.
He'll do or say just anything -to soften the financial blow.
-All I want is a chance to try to-- -I know what you want and-- -Why don't you shut up? Why don't we reconvene when your client has control of himself? Is this the way you represent my wife's interests by driving a wedge between us? If you need to blame me for your inadequacies as a husband, fine.
-Where did you dig up this bulldog? -Oh, now just stop it.
I have to request the absence of your client.
Don't pull that routine on me.
Who do you think you are, ordering me around like that? -My marriage counsellor-- -Now, the offer is fair.
-I see what you're doing.
-You stuff your offer! And I don't like it.
Oh, my God.
Nathan, call an ambulance.
Right away.
We got a rhythm, but she's shooting PVCs.
Okay, let's give her a bolus, Give me one amp sodium bicarb, stat.
-BP, 5010.
No pulse.
-Defib, 400-watt seconds.
Let's go.
Ready? Clear.
Let's go again.
A-- David, our meeting was supposed to start at 8:30.
-Big hand's on 6, little hand on 8.
-A pyjama shirt? -Yes, it's the latest rage for the fall.
-Scoff at a big retainer.
Steady flow of casework, contacts, referrals, profits.
The client is late.
We have time to figure out how we're gonna handle this.
Look at this.
I'm not some kind of machine you can turn on.
I need a cup of joe.
A trip to the little boy's room, a glance at the Sports page.
If you'd show up earlier .
It used to be, "Get here on time.
" Now you want earlier? Maybe you should set up housekeeping here in the office.
This would make a nice master bedroom.
The truth is I would've been on time if my cab hadn't got in a wreck.
The dog ate your homework.
Cabs don't get in wrecks.
That's what I kept telling this guy.
"You can't shave and drive.
" But did he listen? No.
The hood ornament on his car is going to the D on a diaper truck.
-Why were you in a cab? -You ever try handling a rickshaw? What happened to your car? it's been in the shop since I met you-- I don't think I recall ever seeing your car.
Because it's so fast.
-Where is it? -What? Why don't you drive it? -You don't drive a car like that.
-Why not? It kind of belongs to somebody else.
-You kind of sold it? -The shop did.
The repair shop sold your car out from under you? Well, it wasn't a repair shop exactly.
It was more along the lines of a pawnshop.
-A pawnshop? -Honest Ethan's.
When it comes to finances, you're a nitwit.
This from Ms.
Chapter 11.
-I don't throw money around.
-Neither do I.
Well, I wouldn't call hooking your car a sound business.
-I got overhead.
-Such as? Well, let me see, there's-- Well.
A mortgage? Life-insurance premiums? Supporting a family? What do you have to show for piddling away your salary? See this smile? -I couldn't live like that.
-Well, that's your problem.
One of many, I might add.
See, the problem with you is you do not know how to enjoy the fruits of your labour.
That's not true.
I indulge in the occasional luxury.
I like to know that I have a little salted away for a rainy day.
Hey, when I'm lying there, tubes in my nose, can't move my face what good's a nest egg gonna do me? Tubes aren't free and you'd feel better if you were financially secure.
Incontinent but financially secure? No, thanks.
I'll take a head full of memories to the grave.
If we can close this deal, it'll mean something extra for both of us.
-Please, take your share and invest it.
-You're right.
I should probably upgrade my sound system.
T-bills, bonds, a money-market fund.
Something where you'll earn some interest.
If my life gets any more interesting, they'll have to chain me and give tours.
-Betty Russell's here.
-Show her in.
Betty Russell? Betty Russell.
An attorney, the one I told you about.
She wants to put us on retainer to do the PI work for her firm.
Betty "Barracuda" Russell, esquire.
Homewrecker extraordinaire.
She gets on wifey's team and hubby goes to the poorhouse.
My reputation proceeds me.
I guess I should have knocked.
That's okay, we have no secrets.
I'm Betty Russell, known in some circles as the Barracuda.
-I'm sorry.
-Oh, don't be.
I earned my title.
-I admire your candour, Mister? -Addison.
David Addison.
-Private investigator extraordinaire.
-I'm Maddie Hayes.
Nice to meet you.
A lot of people take a very dim view of my profession and in that I'm good at what I do, they take an even dimmer view of me.
-But I do hope that you'll hear me out.
Betty, will you excuse us for just a moment, please? -Of course.
-Have a seat or something.
Before we take a job crowbarring relationships, we should talk.
If you'd get here early-- I'm working on that, but I'm here now.
Watching people divide up their record collections-- -We've had divorce work before.
-Not on a retainer.
Day in, day out, slip and slide and sneak and peep and-- I'm not one to talk but does this have something to do with your marriage? Yeah.
I see.
Well, I'm glad to see we can handle this like two mature rational adults.
-I understand you.
And you have to understand mine.
The Russell account is important to this firm, businesswise.
I understand.
I don't agree, but I understand.
Let's try something we've never done.
-You get to be the boy? -We'll compromise.
We'll hear her out.
You don't wanna work on the account, don't.
-What's the catch? -No catch.
You'll do something else.
-No arguing? -No complaining.
-No insults.
-No slamming of doors? No making up? -Maybe we're rushing into this thing.
-Let's see what she has to say.
Am I nuts? I earn my living by breaking up marriages.
Well, that's not entirely true.
They're pretty much broken by the time they get to me.
I'm not so much the executioner as I am the undertaker for the sacrament of matrimony.
A while back, I had an unexpected vacation.
A heart attack.
While I was lying in ICU I took the proverbial hard long look at my life and what I saw didn't hold up.
If I had died, I would have left behind some assets a reputation and very little else.
I've never painted a painting, never written a song no husband, no kids.
All I can point to is a few hundred broken homes that I helped to create.
Not much of a legacy.
I'd like you to help me change that.
I'm not sure I understand how.
There's a husband and wife, after 17 years of marriage their divorce is about to become final.
I'm the attorney for the wife, Lydia Kraft.
Early on, there was a chance for a reconciliation.
I know that now.
But in the heat of battle, I guess I chose not to notice.
I want you to help me put that marriage back together.
t'd be like squeezing toothpaste back into the tube.
In this case, I'm not so sure.
Last week, I had a meeting with my client's husband, Nathan Kraft to go over some last-minute paperwork.
That was when I met Joleen, his 21-year-old receptionist who will be the next Mrs.
Kraft once the divorce is final.
If I ever saw a disaster in the making .
I mean, he's older, a man of the world.
She's a child whose idea of elegance is lavender nail polish.
I want you to find out if Nathan and this girl are really in love.
Is that all? If we could judge this new relationship-- -A big if.
-How's that gonna save the marriage? My guess is that given the opportunity Nathan will break with Joleen in a hot minute and go back to his wife.
The man's involved with another woman.
How do you know his wife will take him back? I think I can pave the way to a reconciliation.
But before I get my client's hopes up I have to know how he really feels about this other woman.
What if Mr.
Kraft's favourite colour is lavender? They'll have my blessings and I will have to live with the knowledge that I've destroyed a marriage that could've worked out had Lydia Kraft not made the unfortunate decision to hire me.
Maybe Mr.
Kraft's being stood up? Well, dating's a lot like war mostly waiting.
-Give it a few more minutes.
-See? This case isn't so bad.
It's kind of romantic actually, playing Cupid.
Yeah, right.
I don't look half bad in a diaper, either.
It must be hard for him dating after all these years of not dating.
-Well, I guess it is.
-At least we have a nice place to wait.
-We've waited in worse.
-So, what's up with you lately? The usual stuff.
Eating, sleeping, exfoliating.
I mean the rest of your life.
I hope to retire next year and spend a lot of time working on my ant farm.
No, David, I mean now.
You know, I only see the part at the office.
-I know there is a rest of your life.
-I have no life outside the office.
-Come on, David.
Meeting any people? -Here and there.
-Seeing any of them? -Seeing what? -Dating.
-Am I going out with anyone? -David.
-Your table's ready.
-If you don't wanna talk about this-- -I don't mind.
After everything, I wanna know we can talk to each other.
We can talk to each other, talk is good.
Are you seeing anybody? -Me? -Yeah.
Mostly I'm busy at the office, but every now and then.
-Anyone interesting? -No one you'd know.
You want me to set you up? -Thanks, but no thanks.
-Well, I'm just offering.
-So you didn't answer my question.
-Which question? Are you seeing anyone? Women, mostly.
David, is that her? She's young for him.
-Doesn't mean they're not in love.
-Or in lust.
-He's pulling out her chair.
That's a good sign.
-So? -He's letting her know he's well-bred.
Yeah, close.
I think he's letting her know he wants to breed.
Nothing like a few phoney manners to get girls doing back flips for you.
-I think it's sweet.
-I think it's phoney.
David, you've pulled chairs out for me.
See? Works like a charm.
She's got it bad, all right.
-What? -Look at her.
The way she's staring at his face, hanging on his every word.
-So what? -She finds him interesting compe ing, magnetic.
It's also the best place to look when you're not listening.
He's trying to lavish luxury on her -impress her.
-He's trying to get her hammered.
-Loosen up her inhibitions.
-He wants to show her a good time.
Yeah, as soon as possible.
-Not talking.
-They have nothing in common.
-Or everything.
-They're bored.
Because they're not screaming like most couples--? They should be able to communicate.
Maybe they communicate somewhere else? That's your trouble, David.
You think hot sex cures everything.
Well, it is an effective treatment for localised high blood pressure in males.
-Have we decided? -So far it's a toss up.
You're in the way.
-I always wanted a string of pearls.
-You'd look great in a pearl necklace.
Mother said you're not a woman until you have your own.
As your investment counsellor take your half of the retainer and buy them.
-I can't buy them.
-Better than shoplifting.
That's how you and I are different.
You see something, you buy it.
That's why you're always broke.
Jeez louise, get a load of that watch, will you? She's getting paid more than we are.
Maybe that's it, maybe she's a gold digger.
A man buys a gift to show his appreciation and it's the woman's fault? Yeah, you're right.
She's probably not a gold digger.
No, go ahead, I'd like to hear you explain.
And wind up doing one of those scenes where we disagree and talk fast? No way.
No overlapping dialog today.
We haven't found out a lot.
What are we gonna tell Betty Russell? It's gonna take more time.
Something we don't have a lot of before the divorce is final.
She can't expect us to trail and follow one couple on one date and know everything.
Guess you're right.
Of course I'm right.
The whole point of dating is disinformation.
Do everything you can to make the other person think sex is the farthest thing from your mind.
Sex is the only thing on your mind.
l'm trying to say these two are still in the early stages of lovey-dove-ism.
They're opening doors, trying to pretend that looks aren't everything.
But someday, some morning, they're gonna wake up look each other in the eye and they might realise they hate each other's guts.
You're a good judge of character.
You can tell everything about a person first time you meet.
I had you figured out first time I met you.
Loud, lewd-- -Irresponsible? -Thank you.
-No surprises.
-None, an open book.
Then I must not be a very good judge of character because when I first met you there were a few surprises.
Obviously, you have something on your mind.
I'd like to hear it.
-Let me see.
You'll just get mad at me.
-I won't get mad.
-Never mind.
Well, I didn't know you had such a problem being generous.
I have a problem? I am one of the most generous people I know.
-I knew you'd get mad.
-I'm not mad.
I'd like know what reason you have for thinking I'm not generous.
No reason.
There has to be or you wouldn't have said it.
-Ain't like you gave me presents.
-I've given you tons.
-Tons? -Lots.
Name one.
-I'm thinking.
-Yeah, right, I can hear it.
These kids know how to waste an afternoon.
There's a green sweater, with suede elbow patches.
-I gave it for your birthday.
-My birthday? -April 9th.
-November 27th, me and Jimi Hendrix.
And I ain't got no green sweater.
Must've been some other partner.
I know I gave you a sweater.
No sweater.
No book.
No pen-and-pencil set.
Well, I didn't think you'd like presents.
-Who doesn't like presents? -You never gave me a present, either.
Well, I didn't wanna embarrass you.
-I would've if you'd given me one.
Okay, maybe I'm not the most generous person in the world.
-You have your foibles too, David.
-Yeah, I heard about them.
I'm messy, I'm irresponsible, I'm: There's a few I didn't quite bargain for.
Well, I thought my life was an open book, but go ahead.
No, David.
It's fair.
I took my shot at the free-throw line.
Now take your shot at me.
I know what it is.
-My singing in the shower.
-I like your singing in the shower.
-That toilet-seat thing again? -No.
-Lots of other men have that hang-up.
-What? What is it? You read some book, some woman's book -tells you I'm not a good lover.
-You're an okay lover.
You must mean okay like A-OK, right? No, I mean, you're a fantastic lover in just about every category.
Maybe it is my fault but six or seven times a night for a man my age is damn good.
I'm sure that a lot of women don't mind being kissed hard.
Wait a minute, are you telling me I kiss hard? Past tense.
'm not saying you kiss hard I'm just saying you never let me kiss back.
David, I'm not saying you kiss badly.
I know what you're saying.
Just expressing a preference.
That's right, a preference, not a criticism.
No criticism taken.
Well, at least she won't get any bruises.
-David, I'm really sorry.
-About what? The kissing.
I was talking off the top of my head.
No big deal.
It's the furthest thing from a no big deal, it's trivial.
Really, it isn't that important how somebody kisses.
-Well, I don't know about that.
-It doesn't mean anything.
You were saying? I've asked you volunteers to sign these waivers holding Blue Moon and myself completely blameless from any unforeseen side effects of this experiment.
I'm sure I don't have to tell you that this project is highly classified.
You're brave subjects.
I want you to apply your highest critical standards.
Evaluate the experimental stimuli with complete clinical objectivity.
The future of scientific method may hang in the balance.
Are you ready? There is nothing more stimulating than the pursuit of knowledge.
Miss Lamont, would you characterise that as a duo-directional Iipus-Iockus? There's nothing more deadly than a duo-directional Iipus-Iockus.
-Please don't beg me.
-I need to speak to you.
Nothing's more important than Blue Moon.
If it's more paper clips you need, more paper clips you'll get, right? Paper clips? Absolutely.
Ladies, back to work now.
Thank you for your input and your output.
Love those kids.
I'm glad to see you taking an interest in the employees.
I care deeply about our staff and that's not just lip service.
I called Betty's office.
She's stuck in court.
We should go there, give her the news about Kraft's girl.
-What's that on your mouth? Graffiti? Those darn kids.
Spray paint ought to be illegal, no one's safe.
We have a little time.
I have errands to run.
Run away.
Don't mind watching the store at all.
David, are you all right? Yeah, sure, nothing a little turpentine won't fix.
Send in the control group.
He's difficult to shop for, not that I've shopped for him.
He has everything only he doesn't have anything.
I'm not sure what kind of present to buy him.
-How about a watch? -He has a watch.
This one's gold.
It's beautiful.
But I'm not sure he's a pocket watch kind of guy.
-This one is 12.
-Thousand? He's definitely not a pocket watch kind of guy.
Addison, you gotta do something.
-How's this? -it's Herbert and l'UlacGilicuddy.
-No, it's not Herbert and MacGi -- -They're at it again.
Another brouhaha, huh? This is noand if you don't hurry, this is gonna be a: Well, peace is my middle name.
-What are they doing this time? -In the underground parking garage.
I left them rolling around in the grease.
Well, maybe their hands will be too slippery to tear flesh.
-Hi, David.
-Hi, Maddie.
Miss Di Pesto, do we know why we're grinning at each other like a bunch of drooling jack-o'-lanterns? Some of us do.
Surprise! Tada! What is going on? -For you.
-For me? -This car? -This car.
Well, I can't accept this car.
I mean, for no good reason.
It's not for no good reason, there are lots of reasons.
Well, I mean, I-- You shouldn't have done this.
I can't-- You guys really shouldn't have done-- I can't accept this.
Well, think of it as the company car, then.
Your company car.
It's a real sweetheart of a chariot, sir.
Great mileage.
Bet it goes like a bat out of hell.
It is pretty peppy.
Yeah, I can't wait for the chase scene.
Well, do you like it? Do I like it? I have never had anything like this.
-Hop in.
-Yeah, come on, sir, try it on for size.
Vinyl dash.
Look of real wood.
Even got an AM radio.
Let's hear it for Mr.
Addison and his new car.
Do you think he knew? I don't think he knew.
Well, Maddie, for the first time in my life, I'm speechless.
If I'd known, I would've done this along time ago.
This isn't really" This isn't about what I said, is it? I mean-- Oh, well, maybe it made me think a little.
I wanted to get you something you could use.
Something you needed.
Something you could be proud of.
Do you really like it? Maybe you only wanted to be seen in something sporty.
One of those road-hogging, gas-guzzling mileage busters? No way.
This is much more -practical.
This is very sweet of you.
Thank you very much.
-Betty Russell, I forgot.
-Let's take the Beemer.
We want to break this pup in real slow.
No, I can talk to Betty.
You should take a spin in your new toy.
-Go ahead.
-Business first.
I'll see you later.
Just drive carefully.
But, but-- Yo, Burt.
Did a pretty good little job acting up there in the office.
You should consider show biz.
I came to California to be an actress.
Really? I didn't know that.
Yeah, but my personality dominated all the characters I played.
Agnes, you're too healthy a human for the acting game.
You lack the essential nothingness that all truly great performers possess.
I was allergic to the grease paint too.
Burt, could I talk to you for a minute? See you upstairs.
Burt, I've had my eye on you for some time.
Unless I miss my guess, you're ready to graduate.
Graduate? Ready to make the move to the varsity? Varsity.
-Say the word, sir.
I've got a case, a big case.
Been working on it for a while.
I've left Miss Hayes out because the risk could frighten her.
-We're men, right? -Indeed we are, sir.
Take this key.
Get in.
I want you to go to the corner of 23rd and Del Fuego.
You're not scared, are you? No, sir, of course not.
Who cares if 23rd and Del Fuego is the most crime-ridden piece of real estate in the entire metropolitan jungle? I'm a little concerned about your new car.
-Why don't we go back and get mine? -You're disappointing me.
As an employee of Blue Moon, your wheels would be recognised by every two-bit operator in this burg.
This roadster on the other hand-- -Unsullied, unknown.
-A virgin.
I'm sorry, sir, I wasn't thinking.
Keep up with me here.
Flash your lights three times.
-Why? -Just do it.
Now honk the horn twice.
All right, that should do it.
Excuse me for asking, sir, but exactly what did that do? Letting our operative know we'd made it out of Sector 4.
-You're heading for The Last Roundup.
-I was afraid of that.
The bar on the corner of 23rd and Del Fuego.
-I thought the police shut that down.
-Reopened under new management.
Some investors from Sicily.
-Keep driving, eyes straight.
-What? -Just hope he didn't spot me.
-Who? The man from the grassy knoll.
Oh, my God.
Once you get to the bar, go to the pay phone in the back.
The phone will ring twice, stop, then ring again.
Answer it and say, "The cheese stands a one.
" -Say it back to me.
-The cheese stands alone.
-Got it? -Got it.
Oh, I'm forgetting something.
Leave the car in the alley behind the bar with the keys in it, running.
-In that neighbourhood? Are you crazy? -it's not my idea.
It's the signal for our Contact who'll give the instructions.
But what happens if the car is vandalized or stolen? That's why God created insurance companies.
-Drop me at the corner.
-Where are you going? You want me to tell you that so they can cut it out of you? Welcome to the majors, Burt.
I'd like to call Mrs.
Lydia Kraft to the stand, please.
Calling Lydia Kraft to the stand.
-Am I late? -Just started.
Pappas wants to beat up on Lydia a little before we talk dollars.
Raise your right hand.
You swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, so help you God? -I do.
-Be seated.
-State your full name for the record.
-Lydia Boudreau Kraft.
-How we doing? -Good news.
Turns out Nathan Kraft isn't the only name on Jo een's dance card.
I hope she took a shower before she came here.
-How long were you married? -Seventeen years.
How many of them were happy? Fourteen, maybe.
We'll let this windbag do his dance.
I'll ask for a recess and then we'll talk to Nathan.
You charged your husband with mental cruelty, Mrs.
Kraft, is that correct? -Yes.
-Based on what? Nathan is a very cold man.
He would ignore me and act as if I weren't there.
I could deal with that, but then he'd turn on me.
Out of nowhere-- I could be in a restaurant, I could be at home.
Didn't matter, he'd blow up.
And everything was my fault.
Understandable behaviour, perhaps, given the circumstances.
What do you think drove your husband to grow so cold towards you? I don't know.
Was he aware you were sleeping with his friend -and partner, William Raymond? -Objection, Your Honour.
Assuming facts not in evidence.
There's no foundation for this line of questioning.
it's argumentative, insulting and humiliating for my client who is not on trial here.
Your Honour, I'll rephrase the question.
Are you sleeping with your husband's partner? Remember, you're under oath, Mrs.
No further questions.
Not a dime.
Not a dime, do you hear me? You slut.
Bailiff, please restrain Mr.
You slut! You--! Get your hands off me.
Take this-- -Order.
-Damn you.
-Damn Bill Raymond.
-Stop it.
Get your hands off.
Get your hands off.
Your Honour, we request a 20-minute recess.
Kraft, sit down.
Bill Raymond.
Take your hands off me.
You get your hands off me.
Get your hands off me.
I'm sorry.
Well, so much for my good intentions.
Spit and slide under.
Nice pecs.
I realise that this isn't exactly Blue Moon dress code, sir.
But I had a situation at 23rd and Del Fuego.
-Looks like they cleaned you out.
-They got everything.
-Everything? -My wallet, sport coat, my Florsheims.
I had to get down on my knees and beg to keep my trousers.
Well, don't worry about it.
Sit down, please.
Thank you, sir, I'd rather stand.
What's a little stolen property between colleagues? Take this money, get a new wardrobe courtesy of Blue Moon.
And here-- -Here's for the cab.
-What cab? You didn't walk back from 23rd and Del Fuego? No, I drove.
You don't think that I would let a band of zip-gun toting hooligans make off with your new car, sir? They didn't steal the car? The truth, Burt.
I can't lie to you, sir.
You of all people deserve to know the truth.
Your car is safe and sound, though through no valour on my part.
I tried to trade Miss Hayes' gift to you for my Florsheims.
-They didn't take the deal? -Thank God.
Apparently, fuel efficiency isn't a big priority with the Crips.
Well, I-- I understand if you feel the need to terminate my employment.
Hold on a minute.
Here, put this on.
it's chilly in here and it's not polite to point.
Nice pecs.
-How'd it go in court? -It didn't.
Turns out that Mr.
Kraft's partner and Mrs.
Kraft have been conducting business of their own.
Of all the low-down, two-timing slimy things to do.
-His own partner.
-His own partner.
Kraft must be built like a brick.
Hold that tirade.
Yeah, hello? What? Okay, yeah, let me call you back.
-Betty Russell.
-She wants to prorate our fee because the case didn't have a happy ending? You wanted to go into business with the Barracuda.
Business seems to be picking up.
She wanted to offer us a raise.
Nathan Kraft just iced his partner.
Cops can't find him.
Betty Russell thinks her client needs a bodyguard.
I wouldn't wanna trade places with Lydia.
In that limo, feeling responsible.
I wouldn't wanna trade places with that partner, feeling dead.
-How does it feel? -Clammy, I hope.
-I mean the car.
-Oh, fine.
-Corners well.
I bet if I put the pedal to the place, it would blow the doors off that limo.
-You don't like it? -I didn't say that.
You didn't have to.
David, I know it's not the car of your dreams.
-But it'll get you there and back.
-I like this car.
- t's a terrific car, really.
-Really? It was incredibly sweet of you to buy if for me.
The second sweetest thing you've ever done.
Other time was about a year ago, windy day, you forgot to wear undies.
David, when are you gonna get tired of doing underwear jokes? Never.
This is all my fault.
Oh, Lydia, don't blame yourself.
I might as well have pulled the trigger myself.
Oh, God.
I know what kind of a man Nathan is.
I know how jealous he is.
I know what his temper is like.
Just Friday afternoon I met Bill out at the beach house.
We were making love and I became scared of what would happen if Nathan found out about us.
He just laughed.
He said that I was worth dying over.
-Well, he was wrong.
-Oh, Lydia.
Please, stop doing this to yourself.
I won't be doing it for long.
My husband will be getting me next.
David, look.
We should get the number of his makeup man.
David, I swear I know that man.
Yeah, you two should stay in touch.
He probably don't kiss too hard.
We come together in this place today to honour and remember William Raymond.
Why Bill was taken from us in such a sudden and tragic way none of us will ever know.
Only the good Lord in his infinite wisdom understands the purpose of what seems to us so purposeless.
-But even in our moment of sorrow-- -David, I know I know that man.
Bill's life enriched our own.
We remember Bill for many things.
I know I know that man.
We remember his kindness, his warmth, his generosity.
He was a hard kisser.
-His love of the outdoors.
-In the hotel with that girl.
-What girl? -The receptionist.
What? -The gold digger.
-What? -What was her name? -Genevive.
-Jeannie? -Joleen.
A blue water view and the fireplace he loved so much.
Hey, didn't you say you were with the deceased Friday afternoon? Mr.
Addison, can't this wait? She couldn't have been with Raymond.
We saw him with Joleen At the hotel.
Now there's a receptionist who takes her job seriously.
Obviously, you're mistaken.
And, obviously, you have no respect for the dead.
By the shore of Gitche Gumee By the shining Big-Sea-Water Lydia, why did you lie to us? What are you talking about? What reason would I have to lie? To frame Nathan for murder.
With him in prison and the partner dead you get the company.
You're crazy.
Why settle for alimony when you can have everything? Burning, singing in the sunshine The big mistake you made was crossing the Barracuda.
How could you leave the keys in your new car? How could I be so careless? I'm so ashamed.
-Come on.
-Why? It's called a chase because that's what we're supposed to do, is chase.
Rest in peace.
You know, Maddie a part of me died with that car.
Come on.
I think this will settle accounts.
Working with a professional of your stature is reward unto itself, but this don't hurt either.
We're looking forward to working with you again.
That might not be for a while.
I'm chucking my legal briefs and getting into poodles.
Nothing to be ashamed about.
Certain West African tribes practise ritual-- -You're leaving the legal profession? -Finally.
I thought about going into other aspects of jurisprudence.
Advocacy, public defence.
Someplace where I could make a difference.
But you know what? I realised that this world has too many lawyers and not enough poodles.
Presidents have been elected on flimsier platforms.
Well, I've always loved dogs and I'm gonna close my practise.
Nathan and I are gonna open a kennel.
-Nathan? -Nathan? -Nathan.
-Nathan Detroit? -Kraft.
-Divorce can make strange bedfellows.
And he is one terrific guy.
Well, he's certainly getting a terrific gal.
Well, I have to go.
He wants me to check out toy purebreds.
They're cute, but hard to breed.
Very neurotic.
Please, keep in touch.
I will.
I'm in the market for a French pet myself.
-Don't that beat all? -Doesn't strike as the poodle type.
Well, David, you have to admire her.
She's going after what she wants.
And just what do you want, Madelyn Hayes? Nothing, really.
-Everything, really? -No.
Well, of course, there a few things.
Now, what the--? -David.
-Holy cow, how did that get back there? David, you didn't.
David, you can't.
I mean, how did you pay for these? None of your beeswax.
You promised me that you were gonna save your money from now on.
Yeah, my money.
I didn't say the insurance money I got for the teeny mobile.
Well, it is more blessed to give than receive and since I am the blessed one around here .
Thank you.
Not bad.
You've been practising.
Thank the girls for me.