P-Valley (2020) s01e05 Episode Script


1 PATRICE WOODBINE: Previously on P-Valley Montavious Hill? WOMAN [OVER PHONE.]
: Oh, FEMA doesn't have anyone on record with that name having been identified yet.
- Hands where I can see them.
- Hey, bitch! Bitch, what the hell? MERCEDES: What'd I say? Hands where I can see 'em.
There might be one small, little, tiny problem with the owner of The Pynk.
The owner may have found out about the casino.
I'm still paying off a debt I took up on this place.
- Can you get me the down payment by tomorrow? - Tomorrow? You made the withdrawal from the church account yet? What you need it for? What your little ass gonna do with it? I'm sorry, baby, but another buyer's done already swooped in and got it.
Fuck you, bitch! CLIFFORD: Where's this bitch at? All right, now, which one of y'all heifers gon' go on for Beyoncé? KEYSHAWN: I'll do it.
LIL MURDA: That's my song.
That's my song! You know that shit about you, right? [BOTH BREATHING HEAVILY.]
DJ NEVA SCARED: Miss M I crooked letter crooked letter I crooked letter crooked letter I humpback-humpback I-I-I! [CROWD SHOUTING.]
That's right! Miss Mississippi in a minute! Let's run that bop back one more 'gain one time for the one-time r-r-rewind! LAUREN: She almost better than Mercedes.
WOMAN: Ooh, Lordy, don't you be blaspheming up in here.
- LAUREN: Over love.
I usually choose the money over love ♪ Yeah, you can have it, I don't give a fuck ♪ Tonight she got me 'bout to give it up ♪ - Every buck, all because ♪ - WOMAN: All because.
Which one of y'all the new divorcée? Right here, and I'm spending this whole divorce settlement tonight, bitches! WOMAN: Hey! To new motherfucking beginnings! WOMAN: To new motherfucking beginnings! You want a queen, you got a queen ♪ I held it down, didn't need a crown ♪ Cheated on, still fuck around ♪ Was cheatin' then and cheatin' now ♪ Used to smile, but it's all frowns ♪ I hate when you come around ♪ But love when you put it down ♪ Gobble-gobble, meow-meow ♪ You know the feelin', you love the sound ♪ Outside pussy gotta look like clown ♪ [RAPPING CONTINUES INDISTINCTLY.]
♪♪ Feelin' some type of way ♪ Got a lyin'-ass nigga ♪ Might lie today ♪ He might try today, and I'ma catch a case ♪ And I'ma beat the case ♪ And I know the bae, wanna play, let's play ♪ Okay, okay ♪ You are truly the most beautiful woman I ever seen.
And you smell like a baby.
♪♪ He just left me! [CONTINUES SOBBING.]
Oh, well, he ain't deserve a generous and genuine woman like you.
You ain't have to drop half your divorce settlement on me, and, like, yet you did.
Somebody gonna snatch you up soon enough.
No, they won't.
I don't wanna go back to that big old empty house by myself.
I don't wanna go.
I don't wanna go! [SOBBING.]
I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go! I don't wanna go! Hey, hey, God can't give you your blessings if you up there holding a bag of shit.
You gon' have to release that doo-doo and take your blessings to go, boo.
GIDGET: Now, that's something we all can learn from.
- Gidget! - GIDGET: Hmm? If you don't get your ass out of my face I'm talking to the lady, and you jokin' and shit, and [BODY THUDS.]
Let's get this bag.
GIDGET: Ha-ha! Don't do it ♪ Don't don't do it ♪ Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha ♪ [TENSE MUSIC.]
Down in the valley ♪ Where the girls get naked ♪ If you throwin' bands ♪ Then you know she gon' shake it ♪ One, two, break 'em ♪ Three, four, rake 'em ♪ These niggas grind hard ♪ But these bitches grind harder ♪ Climbing up the pole just to get out the bottom ♪ The crowd below ♪ Stay ready for the show ♪ The pimps, the dough ♪ Don't let it take your soul ♪ We make fallin' on the sky look easy ♪ Look at my bitches ♪ Gangsta walking on the ceiling ♪ Green on the flo' ♪ Money talk, can you hear me? ♪ This world is so addicting ♪ But dreams is expensive, keep spending ♪ Work hard for the top, can't fall now ♪ But whatever goes up must fall down ♪ What you do when the power out? ♪ Kids hungry, can't do nothin' but scream and shout ♪ We all choose to live but it's different routes ♪ Take the shit with shine, gotta make it count ♪ When you live and die by the paper route ♪ You spend a dime just to make it out, yeah ♪ Down in the valley ♪ Where the girls get naked ♪ If you throwin' bands ♪ Then you know she gon' shake it ♪ One, two, break 'em ♪ Three, four, rake 'em ♪ ♪♪ [SOMBER MUSIC.]
♪♪ LAUREN: Over love ♪ I usually choose the money ♪ Over love, yeah ♪ Yeah, you can have it ♪ I don't give a fuck ♪ She got me 'bout to give it up ♪ - [GASPS.]
- CLIFFORD: All done.
All done.
♪♪ I told Uncle Clifford this shit wasn't long for the world.
Pynk being 'closed on? For real? How long you done know about this, man? [KEYSHAWN SQUEALING, LAUGHING.]
Well, look who laughing at a funeral.
Oh, well, this sad and all, but look.
Somebody done posted a video of me from last night.
This shit done got, like, 10,386 views.
- WOMAN: Oh! - WOMAN: How I'ma finish paying for nursing school? What I'm finna do, y'all? What we all gonna do? [DOOR CLANKS OPEN.]
: Over love! Yeah, you can over love - WOMAN: Watch it! - LAUREN: I usually choose the money - over love.
What y'all standing lollygagging for? Oh, Lord, don't tell me Mercedes dead.
She dead.
Mercedes dead! - WOMAN: Look.
- WOMAN: Uh-huh.
- Foreclosure? - Hmm.
14 days till auction? [DRAMATIC MUSIC.]
Wh oh! NEWSCASTER: Last night, a local pastor was attacked by an exotic dancer - in front of the club - [KEYS CLACKING.]
CLERK: Your account is frozen.
AUTUMN: Uh, what does that mean? CLERK: That means that you're not allowed to do any more transfers.
What do you mean I'm not allowed any more transfers? Apologies, Miss Savage, but our records show that you've done over ten in the past few days.
Yeah, that's because y'all allow unlimited transfers as long as the amount is under $9,000.
- Well, things have changed.
- W-why? The only reason we had that policy in place was because we knew folks was trying to get back on their feet - after the flood.
- [SIGHS.]
We wanted to help folks wire money to their families, but as of today, it stops.
So y'all just think, in two months, we can all just pull our lives back together Look, Miss Savage, it was a courtesy, which, quite frankly, folks should be grateful for.
Mm, seems like your family has been very, very generous.
But as of today, the policy is changed.
- Look, is there anything What the hell? Lord, have mercy! Oh, Jesus, take the wheel! [BOTH PANTING.]
CLERK: Thank you, Jesus.
Her own bag, I don't need to save her.
Rolling in ass papers.
The stage and naughty by nature.
I need me a bitch that's doin' it major.
MERCEDES: I'm just saying, y'all done had me sitting up here all night, and I still ain't got my phone call yet.
- Pay phone broke.
- I need to call my lawyers, - Bufford and Bienvenue.
- Yeah, you and every other nigga up in here.
Yeah, you can have it ♪ I don't give a fuck ♪ Who-who-who sing that song? Lil Murda.
- Lil Murda? - Well, keep it that way.
Look, I can't be hemmed up in the 201 over the whole weekend, now Well, you should've been thinking about that before you beat your mama's ass last night.
You don't know Patrice Woodbine.
She stole from me.
Pluckin' and finessin' must run in the family since I have yet to get my wallet returned back to me.
- Jesse? - [CAMERA BEEPS.]
I usually choose the money over love ♪ [INDISTINCT CHATTER.]
Yeah, you can have it ♪ I don't give a fuck ♪ Tonight she got me 'bout to give it up ♪ All because ♪ [BUZZER BLARES.]
MAN: Show me that ass! Yeah! Come on! - [SHOUTS ECHOING.]
- NINEVEH: Jesse! - MAN: Talking shit.
- NINEVEH: Jesse! Jesse! Jesse, will you please honor my request to be moved to the ladies' cell? - JESSE: It's not my call.
God's call.
- NINEVEH: Come on, man.
I would let you ring Him up, but the pay phone's broke.
Hey, let me peep that.
Don't you Oh, my God, what the fuck? JESSE: Y'all put that phone up and get back to work.
♪♪ [YELLS.]
Get this heifer off of me! Good Lord, maybe I am better off over here.
MERCEDES: You fucking bitch! You wanna add murder in the first to assault, disorderly behavior, and resisting arrest? That officer ran into my fist.
Just like your mama did, huh? Your mama? Wait, this her mama? I don't care what she do.
You don't raise a hand to your mama.
JESSE: Yeah, I'd split these two up, but we got a sewage backup in number three, and number four won't lock, so y'all gon' have to go along to get along, you hear me? You stay over there in that corner, and you aah stay over there, huh? You make sure these heifers don't cross this 50-yard line, you hear? Uh-uh, these folks like two tornadoes in the alley, and you want us to stay in here with them? Well, you wanna go over there and join Nineveh, huh? I ain't think so.
Now, I hear one more peep out of y'all, and I'm stacking up everybody charges! - WOMAN 1: Uh-uh! - WOMAN 2: Uh-uh! I didn't do shit! - Can he do that? - [DOOR SLAMS.]
ALL: Mm-hmm.
Jesse can do anything he wanna.
Round here, he's the boss.
WOMAN: Children now-a-days ain't got no respect for they elders.
Ain't that a shame? - Yeah, it's all right, baby.
- [SOBS.]
It's all right.
OFFICER: You say what, now? My wife went missing the day Hurricane Drake hit.
- Mm-hmm.
- Afterwards, I couldn't get the Houston police to do anything, so Well, I can only imagine how overwhelmed they was.
So she been missing for two months now? Yeah.
Ever since the flood.
Well, son, Chucalissa's two worlds away from Houston.
Guess that's how far hope's carried me.
I visited every town along the river, thinking maybe, maybe [SOMBER MUSIC.]
I lost so much, sir.
I lost everything.
♪♪ [SIGHS.]
Well, look, um [SNIFFS.]
I'll tell you what.
If you have a picture you can email us, I'll get my deputies to put up some flyers around town quick-fast, all right? Thank you kindly, sir.
Now, hold on.
I can't-I can't read that.
What is it? Who should I ask for if I get word back? Montavious.
Montavious Hill.
♪♪ - CLIFFORD: Oop! - OFFICER: Sheriff Bailey, I tried to hem him up at the gate.
How can I help you, Clifford? Mm-hmm.
"If the owner does not vacate the said premises in 14 days by date of auction, the Sheriff's Office of Nonconnah County will evict said owner from the property"? Oh, mm-mm-mm.
Now, don't do that with your nails.
T All right, come on.
Alex, let her back.
The devil stay busy, don't he? BAILEY: [SIGHS.]
It wasn't me that rode down there and put that on your door.
- That was one of my deputies.
- Mm-hmm.
I was busy cleaning up your right-awful mess.
A mess made by me? Pray, do tell.
I had to pull over a lady so lit, I thought she was a fuckin' firecracker.
Thank God I seen her when I did.
Don't know how many folks she would've killed last night swerving backward down Main Street like she on 40 going north.
Look, now, me and you [SIGHS.]
I thought we had come to an understanding.
- I pay you, don't I? - Shh, shh.
That you do, but you can't let folks get so lubricated, they start acting a damn fool.
You'd best tell Yoli to stop being so damn heavy-handed.
- Mm-mm-mm.
- No pfft! This little arrangement 'tween us gon' soon come to an end, you keep pushing past the limit.
You'd really forgo our little arrangement? Look, I-I don't really like Ruffin's new law.
- Okay! - [STAMMERS.]
Look, I don't mind letting folks get a little liquored.
All laws ain't right, but some rights is wrong.
Hmm? R-run that back, Emmitt Smith.
All I'm saying is, even if you had the right to put tequila with your titties, think about what the Bible say.
Oh, child.
Now, you lucky a foreclosure notice all you got last night.
Why so short, hmm? 14 days? Well, you best talk to your boy Ruffin.
- My boy? - Yeah.
Welcome to Bailey's Plantation, y'all.
Y'all folks so goddamn sensitive.
That ain't what I meant.
Ruffin seem like he your boy.
He got you doing his dirty work.
Look, the mayor's office can expedite a foreclosure in the case of properties that they consider - a community blight.
- Community blight? Do you know how many hoes I done put through school? Well, that little community service you done provided over the years just ain't gonna override all the code violations you done racked up.
Mayor Ruffin say The Pynk's gots to go.
Is this shit even legal? Well, this Mississippi.
It legal enough.
Now, if you don't mind, I got shit to do.
The jail's so full, the bars about to bend to breaking.
Hell, even one of your dancers got all lost up in the sauce last night.
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, one of my-one of my girls? Yeah, wha uh, Lexus or something.
- Mercedes? - Yeah.
Wait, she up in here? Yeah, she up in here.
So's her mama.
Cutting up outside the Kroger like it was a damn barbershop.
Let me see her.
Let me see her.
No, pff, you will see her when she post bail.
Sheriff Bailey, that girl is like a daughter my ass can't ever have.
You let me see Mercedes.
I needs my phone call.
- Excuse me, I needs - Mm-mm.
MAN: What up, baby? Hey, hey, baby, look over here.
Look over here.
You see that? You see that right there? Ahh! You like that? - LAUREN: [CONTINUES SINGING.]
Come on, step to the right and let me get a good look at you.
Hey, told you I ain't have no dick.
MAN: Hey, boy.
Cut that shit out! WOMAN: I wonder if I put a quarter in her mouth, would she sing some Aretha? You gon' have to put more than a quarter in this mouth, you want some Aretha.
You don't know what you mean ♪ Glad you know what it's worth.
This ain't the club.
Oh, are you Mercedes? Did I die and go to heaven? - No, bitch, this hell.
- Mercedes! Oh, I came all the way down from Tchulahoma to see your last dance.
I heard about it, and I knew that's what I wanted to do for my divorce party, but they had some other girl go on for you instead.
Somebody danced in my place? Yeah, they called her M-I- crooked letter crooked letter - Oh! - BAILEY: Hold it down.
- You have two minutes.
Hey, girl, hey! - Hey - MERCEDES: Uncle Clifford! You let Keyshawn go on for me? Mercedes, what the hell was I supposed to do, huh? Let the niggas tear the club up? I mean, I like it when folks get crunk, but Lord knows I needs me a building standin'.
Well, how'd she do? Girl, she she was all right.
I need you to get me out of here.
Oh, baby girl, come on.
I'ma put some stacks on your bail.
Yep, foreclosure be damned.
Hold up.
Foreclosure? The Pynk about to be auctioned? Woke up this mornin' to this sign.
That's the only reason I'm down here.
Then I found out about you and old BA-trice.
I bet you better keep my name out your mouth.
Don't you come unless I send for you, girl.
Ugh, God, a funny-ass bitch, but damn.
Sheriff Bailey know he need to be ashamed of hisself, keeping both of y'all in the same cage.
Let me pull my little pennies together from my pocketbook - Keep it.
- 'Cedes, we made some stacks.
Keep it.
Don't you owe 55K? You need to put every penny you got down on The Pynk.
BAILEY: Clifford, time's up.
Let me go see if I can get this runaway train - turned round.
- Mm-hmm.
Hey, come on.
Stay strong.
Stay strong, hmm? Yeah.
♪♪ And don't beat her ass again.
You leave that to me.
Well, ain't that nice? A visit from your pimp.
I got your pimp.
- What? - MERCEDES: My pimp? You should be the one to talk.
That woman done done more for me in the last seven years than you done done in a whole lifetime.
So that thing been a better mother to you than me? Damn right! At least she ain't steal all my shit and make herself a goddamn church! You wanna talk about pimps? You need to be talking about your damn self.
I was just three and already had a gas bill and Dillard's card.
Mm-hmm, my mama did that to me too.
They say Jesus come like a thief in the night? Well, they ain't met them no Patrice Woodbine.
God forgave me for that.
You gon' have to forgive me for that too.
It looks like y'all in luck.
Pay phone's back in business.
Now, who got some family they wanna call? [PEOPLE SHOUTING.]
♪♪ WOMAN: Gidget? - Gidget! - Almost done, Ma.
- MAN 1: We have a collect call from the MAN 2: Chucalissa jail facility.
- MAN 1: From - MERCEDES: Come on.
You know your number the only number I got memorized.
MAN 1: To accept charges, press one.
GIDGET: Now, why in the world would you get to scrapping with your mama on the night of your last dance? Wait, how the hell you know? Playing it on the news all morning.
They had to blur out certain parts.
WOMAN: Gidget, where's my motherfucking smoothie? Ma, give me a motherfucking minute.
- How Deanna doing? - What you want, Mercedes? MERCEDES: I ain't gonna make it through the weekend.
These folks done hemmed me up in a cage with Patrice.
I'ma need you to bail me out.
- With what? - A shovel.
What the fuck you think? Well, ain't you been the one stacking your paper.
Should be able to bail your own self out.
She took it all, Gidget.
All the money I had stashed up in the church building fund, she used it for her own fucking church.
And the killing part about it, she took the space that was gon' be mine.
MAN 1: This collect call from the MAN 2: Chucalissa jail facility MAN 1: Will disconnect in 15 seconds.
- How much you need? - Processing said 2K.
- Shit, 'Cedes.
- Can you get it, Gidge? That's gon' be like getting blood from a turnip.
I'll take whatever, even a turnip.
MAN 1: Five seconds.
Well, let me see what I can do.
Love you.
♪♪ Here.
No, I'm good.
Take it.
That cage is cold.
WOMAN 1: Mississippi don't need no nother church.
It need another gun range.
See, if it had been one round the corner from my house, I wouldn't have shot my husband in his ass.
But see, there, that's what he get.
And next time, it won't be no BB gun, 'cause it's illegal to shoot a BB gun in the city limits of Chucalissa.
WOMAN 2: And shoot heroin too, apparently.
WOMAN 1: Jesse done gave her a gift.
Must be nice to have a booty like that.
No, it bring burdens too.
You really is trying it.
There come a time when you must humble yourself before the eyes of the Lord, unload your trespasses, and forgive those who trespass against you.
Bitch, do you know how far your little stunt done set me behind? If you invest in the Lord, blessings will rain down upon you, Mercedes.
Well, while I was investin', you was busy finessin'.
You probably been planning to take my shit ever since you first started holding it for me.
Oh, Mercedes, you know, when God send His finger down from heaven to tap you on the shoulder and say, "You it" twice I done felt the slap of a angel wing 'cross my face, and twice I done had to pull a feather out my own eye.
Just what the hell you yapping 'bout? I been called, Mercedes, called to do what them niggas over at Delta Valley Missionary Baptist won't let me do: preach.
And what about what I been called to do? Unless you teaching these little heifers how to twerk for Jesus, I don't see the purpose.
What if I told you it was the only way I could get Terricka back? What would you say then? You need to leave Terricka right where she at, with 'Chelle.
The judge say I got a better chance of getting custody if I can prove I got a steady job, that I'm a fit mother.
And you think that judge gon' snatch Terricka up out that big, pretty house and let her come live with you on the corner of Thugs and Thots? I thinks not.
Terricka's my daughter.
No, baby, she 'Chelle's.
Bless a woman twofold who took on the responsibility of raising another woman's child.
Must have been hard lookin' in the face of that man's infidelity every day, but that's what make a woman godly.
She know how to forgive.
You could learn something from her.
'Chelle's not her mama.
I am.
Are you really ready for that responsibility, the sacrifice? Well, if given the chance to raise my daughter myself, I'd never be a mama like you.
Damn, Flaw, this what I been prayin' for.
Uh, uh, uh, bad bitch alert ♪ I'm a walkin' money bag ♪ Get a nigga for his bands, then I go and pop tags ♪ We some boss-ass bitches, wrap our hair in Louis rags ♪ Still wearin' pack hair ♪ Bitch, that's a gag ♪ [PRINTER WHIRRING.]
- Ah.
- Mm mm-mm.
Gidge, look.
My views done went up, like, 272,683.
YOLI: Let me see that shit.
- I just cannot believe.
- Ooh! Your vajayjay done went viral, girl.
This ain't porn, Jupiter.
It's, like, clatchy.
Look, y'all should have stayed at home if you wanted to go on a date with your fuckin' phones.
Us stay at home? And where else you gon' find 2K for the bill? [DOOR BELLS JINGLE.]
- Who the hell invited her? - All right, all right, all right, all right.
Got the lowdown on Miss Mercedes Woodbine.
First thing there's gonna be the 2K.
Yep, we got that.
Pony up, bitches.
MAN: Hold your horses, now.
That's just the base.
Now, there are some outstanding parking tickets for Mercedes Woodbine in our system.
That on top of several moving violations that have rolled into several pending warrants, top that off with the new processing fees, the excise tax on top of that, the total total totals - $5,358.
- Oh! - Oh, hell no.
- This must be some sort of mistake.
Mercedes said they told her it was 2K.
MAN: That must have been before processing, but now that's what's in the system.
- GIDGET: You sure? - I'm as sure as sure can be.
Sure as them legs is pretty.
Look, we're just trying to get our girlfriend out of jail.
MAN: Well, I'm trying to get her out too.
Wonder if she is as fine as all y'all.
- Hey, y'all, let's go.
- GIDGET: It's fucking men like you that make hell so full.
I'm just trying to give you bitches a compliment.
- What, bitch? - We don't need nothing from you! I know you need to get out of my motherfucking office if you ain't got the money to pay the fucking bail.
Seem like the only way you heifers are gonna get her out is if you put your house down as collateral or your pussy.
GIDGET: You know what? Fuck you! Bitch.
GIDGET: So now what we gonna do? We ain't got it! Man, it about to be the first of the month.
We got bills on top of bills.
And with The Pynk 'bout to close, I don't think not na'an one of us got nothing extra to spare.
- JUPITER: What you said.
- Right? - KEYSHAWN: Well, y'all - YOLI: Nah, uh-uh.
- AUTUMN: Guys - YOLI: Nah, uh-uh.
Well, Mercedes would never do that to you.
To any of us.
YOLI: Maybe, maybe not, but that tab she got with Chucalissa on her, not us.
Come on, Valerie.
Bye, y'all.
They right.
I'm sorry, Gidge.
We tried.
Wait up, y'all! [FOOTSTEPS DEPARTING.]
Would she really have done it for them? [EXHALES DEEPLY.]
Hell no.
Her mama took all her stacks.
What would you do if somebody took all your money? Kill 'em.
♪♪ God's a bitch.
And She got jokes tonight.
PATRICE: He said, "I'll make you a fisher of men".
This girl up here trying to move on with her life and do right by her child, and you up here messing her up.
Yeah, I mean, is you any damn good at preachin'? Nah, she just a pimp tryin' to be a pastor.
- WOMAN 1: Oh, damn.
- WOMAN 2: Ooh, child.
♪♪ My daughter's right, though.
Wouldn't know it to look at me now and figure that that's where I started where I began, in the muck, in the valley, but won't God do it? I tell you, gals, you can r-i-i-ise up out of it.
WOMAN: Yes, you can.
We're just lilies ♪ In the valley ♪ Bright as the mornin' star ♪ [WOMEN MURMURING.]
What? PATRICE: Oh, lily ♪ In the valley ♪ Bright as the mornin' star ♪ Oh, lily ♪ In the valley ♪ BOTH: Bright as the mornin' star ♪ - LAUREN: Amen ♪ - PATRICE: Amen ♪ - LAUREN: Amen ♪ - PATRICE: Amen, hey ♪ - WOMEN: Amen ♪ - [RHYTHMIC CLAPPING.]
Oh, we're just lilies ♪ - ALL: In the valley ♪ - PATRICE: Oh, yeah.
ALL: Bright as the mornin' star ♪ Oh, lily ♪ In the valley ♪ Bright as the mornin' star ♪ ALL: Oh, lily ♪ In the valley ♪ Bright as the mornin' star ♪ - Amen, amen ♪ - PATRICE: Hey, hey, hey ♪ ALL: Amen ♪ Who ready to be saved tonight? [WOMEN HUMMING, CLAPPING.]
When you been filled with the Holy Spirit, ooh, it feel like the best orgasm in the world, joy like no man or vibrator can give.
- WOMAN 1: Ooh! - WOMAN 2: All right.
PATRICE: You talk about how I was a pimp, but I started lower than that, - on my knees.
- WOMAN: Oh, yeah.
PATRICE: And God knows I weren't down there to pray.
I got on my knees so you wouldn't have to.
So don't think you gon' sit up there and judge me.
WOMAN: Amen! PATRICE: I've been made to feel so low, lookin' up it feel like lookin' down.
- WOMAN: Oh, yeah! - But God ain't judge me.
- WOMAN: Mm-mm.
- PATRICE: He forgives.
- He forgives us all! - [RAPID CLAPPING.]
- WOMAN: Hallelujah! - PATRICE: What done brought you to the valley today? ♪ What you in here for? ♪ Nuh-uh, you ain't 'posed to ask somebody in jail - what they in there for.
- Child, this ain't jail.
This God's house now! What about you? What you in here for? I had an ounce of weed on me, and I had to put it in my baby's diaper.
- And you? - I slit somebody neck.
Ooh! Oh.
- Mm-mm, mm-mm.
- I got a DUI.
- Oh, that ain't so bad.
- After I cheated on my husband with his with his mama.
- WOMAN: Oh! - What the fuck? "Judge not, ye shall not be judged".
- LAUREN: Forgive me, Lord.
- Although she need to be judged.
- PATRICE: All sins can be forgiven, all scars healed, all bridges mended, every soul saved 'cause my God is a God of second chances.
See, there, 'Cedes? This is God's plan.
You have to let Him use you.
- Bow to His will.
Join hands with me at the Breath of Life Full Gospel Baptist Tabernacle.
Come, my daughters.
Forgive me.
Forgive me, Lord.
Forgive me.
♪♪ PATRICE: Forgive me.
Mama you dead to me.
JESSE: Mercedes Woodbine.
- You made bail.
♪♪ Where Gidget? Keyshawn? Get in.
Where to? Anywhere but here.
- He said, "Y'all, if you wanna survive, you gotta go mm-hmm".
He says, "Well, I'ma go mm-hmm".
He said, "You gonna go mm-hmm?" He said, "I don't know about it".
So the big silverback jumped up and said, "Mm-hmm", and Bill said, "Okay".
Boy, white folks tell some strange stories, man.
Jonah, now, you know what you gotta do.
Look, all right, give my godson the Chucalissa chop, all right? That line gotta be so tight, now, for the Cotton Harvest ball tonight.
Let's take this picture now.
- Chucalissa chop.
- That's right.
And I'm taking all my nephews and nieces down there next week to the new Tydell Ruffin Park.
You better, 'cause I'm gonna have a bounce house down there and everything to celebrate [INDISTINCT.]
Look, I done told y'all I was gonna turn this city around as soon as I got elected.
Keep my promises.
Shouldn't you be at the beauty shop? [CHUCKLES.]
I'm right where I needs to be, 'cause it's about to be a chop right here.
Now, Mayor Ruffin, you know I loves to decorate my fine establishment in the color pink, hmm? But this notice right here 'bout to find itself - wiping my ass.
Ain't my fault you can't run no business.
Forcin' deserving folk off they property is not a way to run a city.
Your establishment is a blight on this town.
A community blight, hmm? That's why you forced a foreclosure? [SOFTLY.]
I been a help to this city.
- Mm-hmm.
Chucalissa is gon' be walking into a new day, and some places just gots to join hands with history.
You trying to erase folk.
Well, look, some niggas need to be erased.
♪♪ Ooh.
You know, I wonder if Jonah, Jonah Jenkins like to know that the Promised Land Equity is offering his barbershop half of what they offering them white folks for they barbershop over on Kalb Avenue.
And how you privy to that? [CHUCKLES.]
♪♪ Land appraisal chart right here.
If you think that any of us gon' care about what this he-she-it freak show got to say, don't fool yourself.
Auction is only two weeks away, and your ass gon' be on the block.
♪♪ Are you gon' buy it, or is it gon' be Andre? [GIGGLES.]
'Cause I heard he don't never pay for it.
Ain't that right, Andre? You are a tumor in this town, and I am just counting the motherfucking minutes till I can cut you the fuck out.
Now, you can tell Eloise the rest of your complaint, and I'll make sure the mayor's office get right on it.
Hmm! Hmm.
♪♪ I bet it will.
Bitch nigga, bitch nigga, snitch nigga ♪ Hoe nigga, bitch nigga ♪ Bitch nigga, snitch nigga ♪ Hoe nigga, bitch nigga ♪ Bitch nigga, snitch nigga ♪ Hoe nigga, bitch nigga ♪ Bitch nigga, snitch nigga ♪ Hoe nigga, bitch nigga ♪ How in the hell did that thing get a confidential land appraisal chart, hmm? Is you fuckin' Uncle Clifford? - No! - Well, somebody done slid up in more than just your DMs to get this.
Somebody must have slid up on your dick.
- I ain't fuck anybody.
- Well, look, you know what? Whatever you done is you and your wife's bidness.
I just wanna know how you gon' let something like this out of your sight, boy? I think I may have left it somewhere in The Pynk.
Look, now, I done been in a whole lot of hole-in-the-walls, but I ain't never lost no paperwork up in no coochie.
The only reason I was even in that place, that's where people here wanna do business.
Corbin Ky Just spare me the motherfucking bullshit.
Now, Uncle Clifford done fucked you and probably fucked the whole deal.
- ELOISE: Mayor Ruffin? - Unh? We've arrived.
Now, you close that Kyle farm deal.
And I gotta go up in here in this fucking Cotton Harvest Ball kiki with these motherfucking crackers to get this fucking casino done.
Me and you don't do the do, this casino deal ain't gonna happen.
Now, you finish it 'fore I do.
RUFFIN: Hey, now, all right.
Let's get on in here, now.
Walk in the club with a couple of friends ♪ I see a baddie, I'm paying her rent ♪ Look like an angel, yeah, she heaven-sent ♪ Takin' her with me 100% ♪ Run to the stage, they hittin' the sprint ♪ Breakin' the bank, I might need a splint ♪ Throwin' her bands and throwin' her hints ♪ Think I'm in love with her man, I'm convinced ♪ Baby girl twerkin' like she wanna be my wife ♪ Getting to the bag on a Monday night ♪ Know I got the Benz parked waiting outside ♪ Finger and her neck, I'ma put it on ice ♪ DJ NEVA SCARED: Ooh! I see you, Mississippi.
Climb to the top, drop down, split it, she moving that thing ♪ Got a nigga so over love, over love ♪ I usually choose the money over love, over love ♪ Yeah, you can have it, I don't give a fuck, give a fuck ♪ Tonight she got me 'bout to give it up ♪ Give it up ♪ Fallin', fallin', fallin', fallin' ♪ I'm fallin', fallin' ♪ Fallin' like the money in the club ♪ I'm fallin', fallin', fallin', fallin' ♪ I'm fallin', fallin' ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE.]
DJ NEVA SCARED: Y'all give it up for our girl Miss Mississippi, man.
She gone be the next Black Chyna, y'all.
Fallin', fallin' ♪ CLIFFORD: You mean you can't move some more money round? I've been robbing Peter to pay Paul, man, but these books are a mess.
Well, you best rob Peter to pay Pamesha, 'cause we ain't gonna go down [KNOCK AT DOOR.]
♪♪ Now, how little nigga know how to get back here? Ain't it about time for your break? [LAUGHS.]
I ain't had a break since 1999.
Can I help you with something? I got another complaint.
Well, the complaint box is by the exit, but since you back here, I guess I can make a note for management.
So that's how it's gon' be, huh? Just gon' act like nothing happened last night? Look, I I just got kind of carried away.
I saw.
So did I.
I wanted to do it again, but when I woke up on that couch, you was gone.
I got too much on my plate for any kind of I heard.
You know, word on the street's y'all is closing.
I gotta find a way to plug up this boat.
Cliff, my nigga, you look pressed? Need to let somebody take you on up out this office for a minute.
You know, maybe take you, uh, somewhere.
Child, now, you know good and goddamn well that me and you ain't meant for the outside.
So that's how it's always gon' be? We just gon' suck and fuck in the dark? Where you wanna take me to, Lil' Murda? LaMarques.
Where we going? Do you wanna go on a romantic walk down by the river? If that's what you want.
Okay, well, the last two faggots did that found theyselves floating up in it.
You wanna take me over to the Hot Wing Castle for that lemon pepper wet? The last two dykes did that found their booty holes turnt out by a train of truckers.
- That ain't gon - LaMarques where you gonna take me? ♪♪ I advise you to take me nowhere.
Just tell me where you wanna go.
I don't do dates.
There's a first time for everything.
♪♪ Hey, they playing your song again, okay.
WOMAN: Oh, my goodness.
This dude all up in my DM asking if my coochie is shaved.
I'm like, "Nigga, where they do that at?" I'm a grown woman, and I stay with a little landing strip.
My, my, how things change.
Did you say something, Toy? I was just remarking on your glow-up, Keyshawn.
Look good on you.
Mm, thanks.
I get, like, 50 likes a minute.
This joker gone more than viral.
I bet aliens even looking at it.
Keyshawn, Diamond said Derrick out there with the baby.
Derrick done seen that video yet? If the aliens done seen it, I'm sure he's seen it.
♪♪ DERRICK: Keyshawn why you coming out looking all naked? I was running out here real quick to get Regal.
♪♪ You know, now that I'm back at the shop, you don't have to work here no more.
I mean, you could you could stay at home.
I don't wanna stay at home, Derrick.
Fuck, Keyshawn.
Why won't you just let me take care of you? Pays the bills, Derrick, that's it.
♪♪ You sure that's it? That's it.
I see why you blowing up, though the video.
♪♪ You you look beautiful.
Who watch Regal when you dance? Everybody do.
♪♪ [SIGHS.]
Oh, fuck.
Okay, it's okay.
Hey, hey, I'ma go talk to her.
- I'll go to talk to her.
- Let me handle her.
- Okay.
♪♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ [MAN RAPPING IN SPANISH.]
♪♪ What you getting drunk off of now? Your favorite Kool-Aid.
Bitch, this just purdee sugar.
Better sugar than alcohol.
Cold turkey, huh? Same way you stop stripping.
One day, you wake up, and it's time.
I ain't going back.
Once upon a time, I ran out of a door, and I never looked back.
Thought I had the ultimate plan.
But I took a wrong turn.
And the waters overtook me.
♪♪ I tried to grab her.
♪♪ But God had other plans.
♪♪ I searched for her for three days and three nights.
♪♪ I wanted to die, Mercedes.
I deserved to die.
♪♪ But then this suitcase came riding in.
♪♪ And inside it was a new life.
♪♪ Life is just a long day's journey into tomorrow.
♪♪ You just gotta make it through the long, dark nights.
They say God is a God of second chances.
I'm gon' pay you back that bail money.
You don't need to pay me back 'cause I got more where that came from.
Bitch, why the fuck you stripping, you got all this scrilla? [CHUCKLES.]
'Cause I like it.
I can run you ten stacks by the end of the week.
Ten stacks? Okay, and then I'm out, 'cause I know better enough than to deal with finessin' ass hoes for long.
It ain't a scam.
It's retribution.
What I gotta do? [DRAMATIC HIP-HOP MUSIC.]
♪♪ MERCEDES: Bitch, unh-uh.
You bets put down my stripper name.
What? Mercedes ain't your stripper name? Like Uncle Clifford say, what's the last thing you ate and the color of your underwear? ♪♪ Uh, we gon' need IDs.
I know this man named Mane that can hook us up.
- You trust him? - He ain't no snitch.
Why you think he steady stay in jail? How many you need? Ten.
Crystal S.
Flowers? So you ate a crystal? Bitch, don't tell me you been in Chucalissa and you ain't been to Krystal's yet? [LAUGHS.]
Mm, mm, mm.
♪♪ - Yeah ♪ - I'm guappin', guappin', guappin', guappin' ♪ - Guappin' ♪ - Yeah ♪ I'm guappin', guappin', guappin', guappin' ♪ - Guappin' ♪ - Yeah ♪ Dyin' broke just ain't an option ♪ I'm guappin', guappin', guappin', guappin' ♪ Guappin' ♪ I'm way too poppin' to hear 'em talkin' ♪ All these bitches is my sons that's in adoption ♪ Yeah, I'm guappin', guappin', guappin', guappin' ♪ I'm guappin', guappin', guappin', guappin' ♪ ♪♪ Guappin', guappin', guappin' ♪ I'm guappin', guappin', guappin', guappin' ♪ Guappin', guappin' ♪ Guappin', guappin', guappin' ♪ ♪♪
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