Packed to the Rafters (2008) s02e09 Episode Script

Naked Visions

BEN: There are some things in life you should never, ever have to see.
Top of the list - your mother naked.
Mum'? Ben! Oh! What the hell is going on in here?! Get out of here.
Get lost.
Go.
Two - your dad crying.
And three - that awful, life-changing pause that follows the most important question you're ever going to ask.
Well? But I'm getting way ahead of myself.
Rewind.
Shock number one "was Mum in the buff.
BEN: Come here, Doorknob.
Come on! Doorknob! Come here.
Come on! Doorknob! No, no.
To me.
To me.
A treat? That's bribery.
Not treat.
Just likes me more.
Hey, all.
BEN: Hey, Dad.
Here he is.
We've been calling him 'Doorknob'.
Doorknob? Great name.
(BARKS) Ah.
See? He likes it.
Maybe I can take him for a walk.
We won't be long.
OK.
Sure.
Do you want to come for a walk, mate? I think you do.
Come on, Doorknob.
Come on, Doorknob.
(BARKS) OK.
You guys tell me and then we'll all know.
This one looks interesting, but it's a bit out of my target area.
Have you decided where you want to live? Well, I think we agree that the eastern suburbs are out, but anywhere close to Nathan and Sammy suits me fine.
I'll be over borrowing cups of sugar or whatever it is that neighbours do.
Hilarious.
Oh.
Morning, Nathan.
Mum's looking at a place around here.
Isn't that great? Oh, you're looking around this area.
That's, umthat's terrific.
Mmm.
Pity you didn't keep your flat, Dad.
Trish could have moved in.
Oh, you had a flat? Oh, more like a little townhouse.
I sold it a while back, put the money into super.
That sounds very wise.
Well, so I thought at the time.
OK.
Let's go for a drive and look at some places.
Excellent idea.
Can I have the car? If you're good for a lift to the station.
(WHISPERS) OK.
No, no, no.
Now's our chance.
We've got the whole house to ourselves.
Oh, Rachel.
Are you sure about this? Yes, of course.
Now, just seize the moment.
Let yourself be free.
OK.
Stop stressing.
What? Doorknob will be fine.
I'm not worried about Doorknob.
I'm worried about Dad.
He's never been like this before.
Like what? A dog person.
He never let us have one when we were kids and now all of a sudden he's the dog whisperer.
Maybe it's a midlife crisis thing.
No, it's too weird.
He's becoming obsessive.
I reckon there's something else going on.
I'm gonna go talk to Mum.
Anyone home? Mum? Ben! Oh! What the hell is going on in here?! Get out of here.
Get lost.
Go.
BEN: And there we strike number one off the list.
(S H U D D E RS) The terrible, terrible fist.
Ben, I am not running a porn ring.
What sort of idiotic thing is that to say? Well, then what is it? Some sort of adult pay-per-view thing? I'm open-minded.
I can handle it.
I think.
Don't be a moron, Ben.
You know what? You're right.
I can't handle it.
What you do in your own time is your own business.
I'm all ears when someone wants to start talking.
No, it was supposed to be a surprise.
It still can be.
Seriously.
I don't want to know.
Ben, would you just shut up, OK'? I was just taking some photos of Mum.
Oh.
The start of a series.
Yeah.
To celebrate Mum's pregnancy.
And I resent any implications of smut, thank you.
It is art.
(SNORTS) Nudy photos'? Oh! Art that chronicles the amazing changes taking place in Mum's body.
I'm sorry you had to find out this way.
It was meant to be a surprise.
What do you think, Dad? Hmm I think (DOORKNOB PANTS) I think you look absolutely gorgeous.
'Gorgeous'! Shut up, you.
And you've done a good job.
Really great.
Don't you think? Yeah.
Don't you think? Yep.
They're great.
Thanks for walking Doorknob, Dad.
I'll catch you guys later.
Come on.
RACHEL: Philistine! Pervert! Oh.
(CHUCKLES) Oh, I'm glad you approve.
Approve? It should be in an art gallery.
(c005) Forget the Mona Lisa.
You're magnificent.
Oh! (LAUGHS) I'm gonna freshen up.
That was gratifying.
Yeah.
So, umthe Mona Lisa, hey? Oh, no.
I think that's a slight overstatement.
It's the only painting he knows.
Still, he might be onto something.
Listen, I need a favour.
You need to make yourself scarce tomorrow night.
How come? Ben's rostered off.
I want to surprise him and I need somespace.
Ooh.
Like that, is it'? Don't be a grub.
If you want me to get out of my own house as a favour, I'm gonna need some details.
I don't know details.
I still don't know what I'm doing yet.
Give me something.
How long am I supposed to bugger off for'? I'm not sure.
Awhile.
How long's a while? I don't know.
Late.
Very late.
Very late, eh? Justkeep it a secret, OK'? Yeah, no sweat.
(DOORKNOB BARKS) Hey, no dogs in the house! I'm passing through.
What's up with you? I just saw my mum starkers.
Wow! Erwhat? She's doing this photo thing.
Oh, with Rachel.
You know about it? What's going on here? Come on.
Photographs charting the development of Julie's pregnancy.
I think it's really sweet.
Yeah, I agree.
I mean, some hot chick in lingerie - now we're talking.
Classy, not PEFVV- But when it's your mum, no way.
Come on.
Come on.
So, about tomorrow Not a word.
Took your time.
Did I? Yeah, well, I can't stay very long.
I have to go get some photos printed off for Mum.
And you seem to be standing all the way over there.
Mmm.
I seem to be, don't I'? I don't see how we can get anything done if that's the case.
Oh, come on.
There? (SPANNER DROPS) (LAUGHS) I cannot believe I'm 25 years old and I'm about to do it in my dad's shed.
Not too kinky'? No, no, no.
It's just a bit weird, that's all.
Who knows'? Maybe one day we'll take it to the next level and actually do it in a bed.
Are you saying you want to? What, move into the bedroom? If that's what the next level is, yeah.
Why, do you'? Never answer a question with a question.
I've noticed you're being quite evasive yourself.
We're wasting time.
And you're hot.
You right, mate? Not totally scarred for life? Yeah, I'll live.
I'm just knackered.
Work's really full-on at the moment.
Yeah? I was supposed to have tomorrow night off but we've just had a function booked.
Looks like I'll have to work after all.
Maybe you should chuck a sickie.
No way.
Are you serious? Functions are all hands on deck.
(DELIBERATELY) Yeah, but maybe you should chuck a sickie.
What's the matter with you? I can't say.
I can.
You've gone wrong in the head.
No, Mel told me not to spill.
Hello! Mel told me to make myself scarce.
I think she's got a surprise for you.
What kind of surprise? Good or bad'? I don't know.
Good.
Maybe she needs to tell me something.
Mate, just chill, OK'? She wants to surprise you.
Be there.
Mel might not be the only one with a surprise up their sleeve.
Do you reckon you could make yourself scarce tonight as well? No problem.
Want to get in first, eh? Yeah.
Something like that.
I love it.
It's perfect.
I can't wait to move in.
Shh! Don't act too enthused or they'll jack up the price.
Why would they do that'? This isn't a bartering system.
I have rights.
Excuse me.
I have another couple of properties to look at this morning, so let's keep this brief.
I'll need a copy of the floor plan so I can start working out furniture placement, obviously.
Then I'll be in and settled, pronto.
Um, if you've got another copy of the application form, we'd love to grab one.
Sorry for taking up your time.
I know how busy you are.
Oh, I love that tie.
Right.
The agency contact details are overleaf.
Mmm.
Well, how very rude.
Mum, you can't just waltz in there and boss them around.
You're not buying the place.
It's a rental.
You've got to suck up to them.
Oh, it'sit's What do you think? It's great, isn't it? Better than the Mona Lisa.
Well, it's, um Where should we hang it up? big.
Oh, no, not in here.
No.
Why not? Well, it's, um It is you, Mum.
It's womanly and natural.
Gorgeous.
Well, you do have a beautiful eye, you know.
It helps when you've got a beautiful subject.
Oh, darling, no, I'm serious.
You should make a career of this.
Maybe you could try the male form next.
Speaking of male forms, how is your boyfriend? Whoa! Where did that come from? There is someone, though, isn't there? No! There Maybe Ah! (LAUGHS) OK.
Now that you mention it, Jake and I have been getting along quite well.
I knew it.
Those sneaky texts.
I knew something was going on.
Yes, I was actually going to ask you if you'd mind if I asked him over for dinner.
Oh, yeah, I'd love it.
We wouldn't mind if Jake came over for dinner, would we'? Why not? He spends most of his time here anyway.
Yes.
And he is potentially dating our daughter.
What? Mum! Hmm'? When did this start? Uh Dad, nothing's started.
Oh, and that's not the only thing new around here.
Ta-da! Bugger me dead! What the hell's that supposed to be'? Well Wow! Yeah.
That's great.
That's a beautiful, beautiful thing.
Since when did this place become some sort of a nudy commune'? Did you pick that up from that weirdo mothers group of yours? Nine Moons is not a weirdo mothers group.
Honestly, though, the picture's one thing, but to have it blown up so big Not that it's not great.
It'sit is.
Sell tickets and make a fortune, why don't you? Grandad! This is called 'art'.
That's right.
And it's important to Rachel and me.
Oh, yeah.
Of course.
Yeah.
'Art'.
It's great.
It really isgreat.
Oh.
Well, I'm glad you agree, because up it goes! You can bloody well get used to it.
Rachel, can you take down the cricket bat'? Yep_ What?! Fine.
BEN: And now it wasn't just me.
Everyone could see Mum naked, all the time.
(WATER RUNS) (CHOKES) There is a huge naked photo of my mother on the lounge room wall.
I know.
Isn't it gorgeous? Uh, it's something.
Umlisten.
I need to talk to you about Mum's househunting.
I need to talk to you about that photo.
This is important.
What, and this isn't? How did you go? We've got a little bit of a problem.
Mum isn't exactly good at dealing with rental agents.
I think, in her mind, she's about to drop half a mill on a summer house in Venice and the guy should be completely grateful for her business.
She'll get better, Sam.
Don't stress.
Talk to the agent for me.
Ha-ha! No.
No! No way! Please! Come on.
You know how to speak their language.
There's no way the guy would have processed the other applications yet.
Sam, she's got to learn somehow.
She's never done this before in her life! Please! (DOORKNOB BARKS) (GRUMBLES) Shh.
(WHIMPERS) I'm trying to surprise Melissa.
Hello.
Guess who's home.
Mel'? Ben, what are you doing home? I thought you were working.
I, ergave myself an early mark.
What are these? Oh, they're yours.
Oh, they're gorgeous.
There's champagne too.
What? In the fridge.
That's so sweet.
You look nice.
Where have you been? Nowhere.
Just out with a friend.
Which friend? No-one you know.
Just a friend from work.
Ben, I'm really sorry.
I had no idea you were planning anything.
How could you? That's the thing with surprises.
I'll make it up to you, I promise.
Don't worry about it.
I'm just gonna jump in the shower.
Get all this make-up off.
(DOORKNOB BARKS) G'day.
Hope you don't mind.
I grabbed him on the way out.
What? No, of course not.
Yeah, I took a plastic bag.
All disposed of.
Great.
Ben, what are you doing out here? We're just having a chat.
I took the dog out for a walk.
Maybe we could make a regular thing of it.
Sure.
Yeah.
See you later, mate.
Have a good one.
(WHIMPERS) You're right.
Your dad is obsessed with this dog.
What did your mum say the deal was? She didn't.
She's playing up.
Are you alright, mate? Ever heard of knocking? Mate, she's playing up.
(CLEARS THROAT) The morning can be a very sensitive time for a guy.
Melissa's doing the dirty on me.
What? I wanted to surprise her last night, right? Yeah.
Bought the champagne and flowers.
Came home - no-one.
She gets in at midnight, says she's been out with a friend.
So, she was out with a friend.
“No-one you know'? That's the lamest excuse in the book.
Look, Mel wouldn't do anything like that, mate.
She's nuts about you.
She knew you were out.
She thought I was working.
It's the perfect opportunity.
There were two empty wine glasses on the table.
I just don't see it, mate.
OK'? It's not her style.
She had all this make-up on.
She never wears make-up.
Not when she's out meeting a girlfriend.
She was distant You're paranoid! Maybe.
Maybe that's the surprise she's got for me.
Maybe she's gonna give me the old heave-ho.
She can forget it.
I won't be here! Look, can you just take a deep breath and think about your ticker, OK'? Stop being such a freak! Nowcan I get back to a little bit more'me time'? Oh.
Yeah, sure.
Gross.
Come on, guys.
You've got to admit - it's intense.
I don't know, mate.
Just having it up there, it's growing on me.
Oh! Growing on you, is it? You told me you liked it.
I've got to go to work.
On a Sunday'? Yep.
Duty calls.
So, how long have you three been standing here making a mockery of Rachel's beautiful photograph? We're not making a mockery of it.
I honestly thought that if anyone was gonna support me through this journey, it would be my family.
We are supporting you.
Yeah.
Wejust think you should take it down.
We're right behind you, Jules.
It's just Justwhat? Well, it's just Jake.
What about Jake? (SCOFFS) Well, he's coming for dinner and don't you think it'll be a bit full-on for him to have toyou know'? Don't be ridiculous.
Jake is a grown man.
He'll appreciate that for what it is - a subtle, tasteful piece of art.
Exactly, instead of behaving like hysterical schoolboys, which is what I'm getting from you two.
This isn't hysteria.
Well, what is it, then? Ted? What is it? Creative feedback.
(BOTH SCOFF) Yeah.
Now I'm really disappointed in you two.
Oh, come on.
Be reasonable, Jules.
No.
It's a beautiful photograph, it makes me feel good about myself, and it stays.
You two can just grow up.
(GROANS) Are you losing it? Because I am seriously losing it.
Can I be a pain and get you to take on the Sandcastle reps? If we're each talking, we can knock it off quicker and get out the door late instead of really late.
Sure.
Thank you so much.
First drink's on me.
I thought they were free.
Well, either way, you're an angel.
Hey, Jake.
Didn't think we had a job on.
Uh, we don't.
Oh, that's right.
You're here for dinner.
I forgot.
Sorry.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So You and Rachel, eh? Look, mate, maybe I should have said something.
You think? Maybe? Well, it wasn't planned.
It Just happened? Yeah.
And I want you to know that You really, really respect her? I do, mate, yeah.
I'd never do anything to hurt her.
(LAUGHS) Mate! It's cool.
Of course you do.
You wouldn't be here for dinner otherwise.
You wouldn't be here at all.
Nah.
(LAUGHS) Sorry.
I brought wine.
I thought you were more of a beer drinker.
Yeah, but this is different.
The guy at the bottlo said it'll go with anything.
I guess I should give it to Julie.
I mean, Mrs Rafter.
Actually, on that point, there's just one thing Dad, leave the guy alone.
HeV- Hey- What were you two talking about? Nothing.
I'm just rolling up the hose.
Oh, hey.
I thought I heard voices.
Hello, Mrs Rafter.
Hi.
Oh, no, no, no.
Julie, please.
No need to be formal.
OK.
Julie.
He brought wine.
Oh! Lovely.
Not that I'll be drinking any.
Come inside.
Oh, yeah, and, Jake, you're into photography, right? Rachel.
Mum and I have something to show you.
So, Jake, you been training this weekend? Nah.
It's the off-season.
Oh.
I go for a run every now and then.
Yeah, it's a good idea.
Pre-season will be on before you know it.
How's your lamb? It's really nice, thank you.
Would you like a top-up of wine'? Uh, no, thanks.
I'm driving.
Jake, you can't help but have noticed our latest artistic acquisition.
(CLEARS THROAT) Yeah.
Julie showed me when I came in.
Dad.
It's not like we can't talk about it.
Well, actually, we've already talked about it.
You just got here late.
Mmm, yes, and Jake actually approved.
What else could he do? Grandad's idea of art is a still-life of a fruit bowl.
(JULIE LAUGHS) At least a fruit bowl wouldn't put me off my food.
What'?! Nudity in its place, Jules.
Oh, and where's that, Dad? Oh, for goodness' sake.
Actually, uml really like it.
Aww.
I reckon it's a great shot.
Rachel's a good photographer.
TED: Mmm.
(CLEARS THROAT) Can I have some more gravy? Yes.
Rachel, thanks.
Of course.
My pleasure.
Thank you.
(QUIET ROCK MUSIC PLAYS) (PHONE RINGS) Just the man I was thinking about.
Are you far off'? I thought you said you got out of it.
Well, can't you get someone else to run the function? Right.
Um No, no, no.
Nothing special.
Just, um, try not to be too late.
OK.
Bye.
So I saw you talking to Jackson Cade.
He was the one with the receding hairline? Uh, no, no, no.
The fauxhawk.
Tubby Fatts is the one with the receding hairline.
Oh, that one that was trying to get into your pants.
Yeah, and next time you see him do that “call me, babe" thing, please interrupt immediately.
What's wrong'? This phone call I was supposed to make.
I completely forgot.
Honey, do not worry about it, OK'? Just call them tomorrow and explain you had a function and got held up.
No, it's a personal call.
It's for Sammy's mum.
She's applying for this house and I was supposed to Hi.
Hi.
My name's Nathan Rafter.
I know it's really late to call, but I'm just calling in regards to the property on Shanahan Street.
I was W8 gone? Yep.
Um, OK.
Here's the deal.
Hey.
How was work? Busy.
What's this? Snap.
It was supposed to be for you.
Right.
I had this whole thing worked out just like you did last night, and I was going to try and surprise you, but I guess we both know surprises don't always work out the way we planned.
Surprise? But I thought What? Nothing.
Rachel took it.
I know it's a little bit cheesy, but you said you like pictures of girls in their lingerie as long as it's not your mum.
Rachel took this photo? When? Last night.
That's where I really was.
So that (GROANS) God, I get it.
Get what? Well, I mean, you've got to admit that it might have looked a bit bad.
What are you talking about? Well, last night when you were out and you came home so late and you were wearing all this make-up, I thought Thought what? (SIGHS) Nothing.
It doesn't matter.
I'm an idiot.
That I was cheating on you? Yes.
No.
Yes.
Come on.
It did look kind of suss.
Suss.
Well, I just thought You know, “Out with a friend from work.
" “No-one you know.
" After everything we've been through, after we just got back together, you really think that I would You know what? You are still the same immature, judgemental Melissa I don't believe this.
I said I was sorry! Well, maybe 'sorry' is not gonna cut it this time.
What's that supposed to mean? Il don't know.
I justl need to take a walk.
Please, please.
Tell me what I can do to make it up to you.
Please, I'll do anything.
Just say anything.
What does this say about us'? That you don't even look for an explanation, you just jump to the worst possible assumption you can make? (LAUGHTER) JAKE: Well, thank you for a great night.
JULIE: Oh, you're welcome.
Thanks for the vote of confidence.
Oh, no worries.
Can't wait for the rest of the series.
(LAUGHS) Rest of the series? Bring it on.
Well, see you, then.
Yeah.
Might see you tomorrow, yeah? Yeah.
Oh, go on.
Kiss her, for God's sake.
We're not prudes in this family.
Well, some of us, anyway.
Jake, I'll walk you to the car.
Dad.
To talk about work.
I swear to God, if you search his wallet for condoms It's alright.
Come on, Jake.
Early start.
Where's your wallet? Dad! (LAUGHS) Kidding! I like him.
A lot.
I think I do too.
He's a lovely, broad-minded young man.
Yes, he is, isn't he? Plus, he's helped prove one thing.
Mmm, what's that'? Much as I love your photo, its work here is done.
For what it's worth, that can't have been easy.
It's not every night you get to sit down in front of an art shot of your boss's wife.
If you're cool, I'm cool.
Cool? I don't think so.
But thanks for handling it so well.
It's tricky - keeping work and this stuff separate.
Yeah.
No worries, boss.
After hours, it's 'Dave'.
Sweet.
See you, Dave.
Thanks, mate.
See you, mate.
(WHINES) (WHINES, BARKS) (BARKS) No! (TYRES SQU EAL) (THUMP!) Hold the door, Ben.
Ben, hold the door.
He just ran across the road.
The car wasn't travelling very fast, but It's OK, mate.
It's alright.
(WHINES) We didn't see where he got hit exactly, but he couldn't walk properly afterwards.
Alright.
Shh.
Take it easy.
Take it easy.
Let's take a look at it.
OK.
It's OK, mate.
It's OK.
It's OK.
Shh.
Just relax.
It's OK.
Are you OK'? BEN: Here it is.
The second of those things you should never have to see.
Yeah, it's just It's OK.
It looks like his pelvis is broken.
We can operate, but it's not a simple procedure.
Don't worry about the cost.
Just do what you can.
Hey, can I ask you something? Yeah, sure.
What's the deal with Doorknob? What's going on? I've been remembering stuff.
From when I was a kid.
You never said much about your childhood.
We knew not to go there.
It's all about a dog.
Not him.
Another dog.
And it won't go away.
And, uhto be honest, I don't really I don't really want it to, because it's like he's a connection to all that.
To when I was a kid.
I've never had that before.
In the end, it's hard to say what was scarier - Mum's naked flesh or Dad's naked emotion.
Hi.
Thank you.
For what? Mum's already started shopping for the apartment.
Please tell me you sorted it.
What did he say? Did she get it? Calm down.
She got it.
Oh, yes! Thank you so much.
That's OK.
No, really.
You've really come through right when I needed you and it means a lot.
You're welcome.
Mmm.
(SQUEAKS) Where are you going'? To tell Mum the news.
Don't you think it's a bit late for that'? Hey, Mum! Nathan did it.
You got it.
You were gone a while.
Yeah.
Sorry about that.
If you're trying to make a point, some stupid tit-for-tat thing Doorknob got run over.
Oh, my God.
How'? He ran out after Dad.
Well, is he OK'? The, uh, vet's operating now.
Not sure about Dad, though.
He's a wreck.
Oh, God.
That's awful.
Poor guy.
How did he get out? Did I leave the gate open? Oh, it's not your fault.
I should have been watching him.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
I'm sorry too, I really am.
Hey, it's OK.
No, it's not.
I've been going over and over everything in my head and I've been a complete idiot.
I don't want to be an idiot anymore.
I love you.
Come here.
You disapprove.
No.
It's all over your face.
What should I say? That I did the right thing.
Of course I want the dog to live.
Good, then.
But $2,000'? It's a lot of money, I know.
No, it's a big lot of money, Dave.
I owe him, Jules.
I know it sounds weird, but that dog helped put me back in touch with things from my past.
I just couldn't let him die.
Hi.
Yeah, it's Dave Rafter again.
I understand that.
I just Yep.
You will let me know if there's any news? TRISH: No-no.
If that's what was discussed, then that's fine.
I mean, I just wasn't sure that we'd agreed on that particular amount.
No-no-no, no, of course.
I still want it, yes.
Yes, that's great.
Alright, I'll see you then.
Thank you.
Bye.
All good? When can you pick up the key? This morning.
Oh, that's exciting.
Wonderful.
Then what's wrong'? Well, it seems in order to secure the lease, there may have been some negotiations.
But why'? You know she's on a budget.
I had no choice.
We never discussed giving more money for the apartment.
I was on the spot.
What do you want? You said she should get the place.
Not for $50 a week more! That $50,000 she got from Dad is all she's got until she gets a job.
God knows how long that will be.
I thought you wanted her out of your hair.
On her terms, Nathan, not as a matter of convenience! I couldn't do that, could I'? Why not? Because the apmapartment had already gone.
What? So soon? The agent said to me it wasn't gonna be going for a while.
I got caught up at work, Sam, and I forgot to call.
But I rang later and the place was gone, but then I made an offer and he said yes.
I'm sorry.
Don't be upset with Nathan.
You know, he was only doing what he had to do.
Putting work before everything else.
Yeah, it happens.
You know, it's men and their careers.
Like Dad and his? OK, maybe Nathan's not like your father after all.
You're lucky to have him.
He can't make work an excuse for everything.
I learnt that from you and Dad.
You're right.
I mean, I spent our whole life together playing second fiddle.
There's a lesson learned the hard way.
Don't always be the one to compromise.
Be happy for me, darling.
Oh, I am.
(SIGHS) And don't be a stranger.
You're really lucky having Nathan.
All the Rafters - I mean that.
Hey, what's so important it can't wait till after work? Um There's something you need to know about me.
Oh, you've got insomnia.
Alright, OK.
What's wrong'? If there's ever gonna be anything between us There is something between us.
No, just listen, OK'? Anything long-lasting.
There's something you have to know about me.
And last night proved that you might be able to handle it.
Handle what? My ex-boyfriend sent out an email of us having sex.
It didn't leave much to the imagination.
I'm not gonna hide from it, OK, but it is always gonna be out there.
And if we want to know each other, then we need to be honest.
(PHONE RINGS) Hey.
Ben Rafter.
Dog'? Have we found a dog? (NARRATES) I only considered lying about Doorknob for the tiniest, tiniest moment.
You saw the posters? Yep, that sounds like him.
Wow.
He's a long way from home.
Yeah.
Yeah, you can come pick him up.
Only, you're gonna have to call the vet.
Yeah, he's OK, but there's been a bit of an accident.
I've spoken to his owner.
She's on her way right now to see him.
Thanks for everything.
Anytime.
I'm gonna wait in the car.
(WHIMPERS) Time to go back to your mum, eh? I probably sound like a real wuss but I won't forget you, mate.
I don't know exactly what you started here, but Take care, eh? How are you feeling? Oh, pretty average.
It's unbelievable, the things that knock you for a six.
Yeah, a picture of a gorgeous naked woman on your lounge room wall will do that to you every day.
Well, maybe this will help take your mind off things.
Just arrived.
From Births, Death and Marriages.
My birth certificate.
Hi.
Hey.
Let me guess - you're not here for Dad.
No.
It's messed with your head, hasn't it? Rachel No, no, it's OK.
Just tell me, OK'? I'm a big girl.
I can handle it.
Actually, I figured, well, since you're confessing stuff, I may as well come clean too.
Oh.
I mean, that's fair, right? Both of us putting everything on the table.
Yeah.
OK.
Well, I've also done yoga nudists and ice-addicted psychopaths, so if you want to top that Rachel.
Can you let me speak? Can you let me speak? OK, sorry.
Sorry.
Well, it's just this one time, I was seeing this girl, right? She was really nice and really pretty, but I just wasn't that into it, you know'? Anyway, I, uh, didn't wanna hurt her feelings, so I got my mate Micko to give her the flick for me.
I couldn't face her after that.
It's been eating me up ever since.
OK.
That'sthat's not that bad.
Still, it's pretty dodgy.
I mean, she ended up going to a different high school.
I never saw her again.
I never got round to saying sorry.
Hang on a minute - how old were you when this happened? That does not excuse my shocking behaviour.
Right? However I'll consider forgiving you if you consider forgiving me.
I don't know.
That's a pretty tough ask.
I think it traumatised Micko too.
So am I forgiven? Do we have a deal? Yes, we have a deal.
(CH UCKLES) Hey.
Hey.
How was the flat? Umshe'll get there.
Sam, I just want to It's OK.
You got her in there, effective immediately.
The place was empty.
You got her in there.
Are you OK'? Yeah, I'm good.
(SIGHS) And I've decided to do that TAFE course after all.
What, journalism? Yeah, features writing.
Mum's sorted, you've got your new job, and I think it's my turn now.
Do you want to quit your job? No, no need.
It's not full-time, but it is something that I really want to do.
OK.
It's not cheap, but I know we can find the money.
I justl don't want to be that wife who sits around getting bitter and twisted waiting for her man to come home.
And you'll have your focus, I'll have mine, and we're both moving forward.
What do you think? Go for it.
(CH UCKLES) It's not gonna open by itself.
It's amazing something so life-changing could come in such an ordinary envelope.
Mmm.
You know, on today of all days, the day that the dog goes.
I think the universe is trying to tell me something.
So let it.
Dave, open it.
My hands haven't shaken this much since I put that ring on your finger.
Well? My mother's name is Rachel.
My God, you're kidding me! You chose Rachel.
You pushed for the name.
Not so sure about the surname.
Warne.
Rachel Wa Warne? God, don't tell me we're related to Warnie.
No, don't even go there.
(CHUCKLES) Father unknown.
How do you feel? Excited, scared.
Freaked out.
The door was open, Jules.
Where's it gonna lead? Maybe we should send a card.
Uh, I'm not sure they make a card for “We hope your dog, who we were looking after and secretly wanted to steal, gets better soon.
" (CHUCKLES) Hey.
What's wrong'? Come here.
What are you doing? BEN: (NARRATES) And here we are.
Remember moment three? The moment you ask the big question and hope against hope that you get the right answer.
Melissa, will you marry me? And then, worse than a wrong answer, there's that pause.
Well? I-I-I don't know what to say.
How about yes? How about not just yet'? Whoo-hoo! (CH UCKLES) Whoo-hoo'? Really? Yeah, absolutely.
At least you didn't say no.
“Not just yet" means that one day there might be a yes, and that's almost a yes, and that'll do me for now, Stay here tonight.
Sometimes there's only one thing scarier than naked flesh or naked emotion, and that's naked optimism, because that can set you up for a really big fall.