Phineas and Ferb s02e25 Episode Script

Okay.
Well, we finished the superstructure, but what we really need now is a tool that would fuse wood and metal out of a molecular level.
Technology like that is twenty years away.
You will need a time machine.
Luckily, I have been working on a design.
I have not filled about all the quantum physics yet, but if you give me a couple of days– Or we could just use the one at the museum.
There is a time machine at the museum? Yeah, we took it back to the Mesozoic Era.
You got to hang out with dinosaurs? Yeah, earlier this summer.
Hmm.
Well, thank you for inviting me.
Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today.
Or I should say, I know what we're gonna do twenty years from today.
Hey, guys! What'cha doin'? We're time-traveling.
Can I come? Why not? Yes, Stacy.
They're building something out there.
But I decided the problem is, I always jump the gun.
So I'm gonna wait 'til just the right moment to– Hello? Hello? They're on the move! I'll bust them now! I'll bust them now! Twenty years forward, and away we go! So, that's it! They're time-traveling again! And the best part is, they have to return to this exact spot.
And I'll be standing right here with Mom to bust them when they do.
Actually, right over here.
I'll be, uh crushed by the machine if I was standing there.
And I'm talking to nobody.
Here we are! Twenty years in the future.
Isabella, wait.
You're the only one who we can trust to watch the machine.
He trusts me Oops! Yeah, I hate cleaning that thing anyway.
Hey.
I see the museum finally had that new wing.
And would you look how Danville's changed.
Hey, mobile homes! Flying cars! Jet packs! Hey, look at that! That looks like It is! It's Candace twenty years older! I almost didn't recognize her.
She looks so relaxed.
And those must be her kids in the yard.
I can't believe you, Xavier and Fred.
You two are so lazy.
It's summer vacation and you're wasting it! You guys never do anything! I'm sitting under this digital tree.
I'm sitting next to him.
Do you see your two sons out there doing nothing? They never do anything! Oh, honey, don't exaggerate.
I wish you would just get along.
Your uncles, Phineas and Ferb and I were great friends as children.
The future.
Hi, guys.
What'cha doin'? I'm sitting under this digital tree.
I'm sitting next to him.
Oh, Stacy, every job has its problems.
But there's gotta be an upside to being president of Uruguay.
No, huh.
Me? I'm fine, the kids are fine.
Xavier and Fred are in the backyard with the young Phineas and Ferb.
Young Phineas and Ferb?! Gotta go, Stacy.
Good luck with that llama legislation.
and yesterday, I was sitting on the left.
And I was sitting next to him on the right.
We like to mix it up.
It is them! I bet they traveled here from the past.
Aw, look how cute and bustable they look.
Wait.
Isn't this just a digital tree? Hey, Mom.
Hi, Candace.
I'm telling Mom! Hey, that reminds me.
Where's Perry? I finally got you, Perry the Platypus.
The end game is finally here.
Oh, wait.
I-I moved in one piece.
I'll just put it back.
So, what spectacular adventures have you got lined up for this summer? I'm sitting under this digital tree.
And I'm sitting next to him.
That's it? But it's summer vacation! And you're free to do anything! Yeah, but this is the future and everything's already been done.
The Stone Age was once the future, as was the Middle Ages.
Creativity and invention never end! There's a whole bunch of stuff you can do this summer.
(Song: Today is Gonna Be a Great Day) Like maybe Crossing the tundra or building a rollercoaster Skiing down a mountain of beans Devising a system for remembering everything Or synchronizing submarines! Racing chariots Taming tiger sharks, constructing a portal to Mars! Building a time machine Stretching a rubber tree, or wailing away on guitars! (Oh, man) This could possibly be the best day ever! (This could possibly be the best day ever) And the forecast says that tomorrow will likely be a million and six times better! So make every minute count, jump up, jump in and seize the day! And let's make sure that in every single possible way Today is gonna be a great day! Thanks a lot, guys.
No prob.
We appreciate the gig.
Bowling for Soup.
Eh, before their time.
So, what are you guys gonna make this summer? How about, uh Bumper cars that move in five dimensions? Oh, yeah.
Okay.
We'll do that.
Fun! We'd love to stay and help, but we've gotta find a wood-and-steel-fusing tool.
Fred's got one.
I'm sitting on it.
I'm sitting next to it.
Fantastic.
Thanks, guys! Have a good future! I like that kid.
I like the kid standing next to him! Mom, you gotta come with me right now.
I can't right now, dear.
I'm getting ready for my tour.
It's my comeback, comeback, comeback Mom.
comeback Ma.
comeback, comeback Are you finished? Wait.
comeback tour.
Two more comeback tours and I get a free pie.
Come on.
That's funny.
What happened to the– Isabella, I thought I said to stay in the time machine.
I did.
It's the time machine that moved.
I brought back a woolly mammoth's tusk, a viking helmet, and smallpox.
And the vaccine.
Cool.
Let's make like a banana and burn our molecules to the space time continuum.
They weren’t at my house so they must be here.
Honey, I can't move as fast as I used to.
There! No! Wait! We're too late.
Mom! I've always loved this old bone.
Mom! You never saw them and you still never see them! It's unfair! It's unfair! It's unfair! Candace, you're a grown woman.
I really thought you had finally moved past all this nonsense.
Come on, Mom.
Hurry! This is great Candace, really.
But I have lots to do today.
In here, see? The time machine is gone! Mom? Oh, hi, Candace.
Mom! Mom! Look, Candace.
They're putting a new bone on display.
Oh, you missed it again! Hi, Mom! Oh, hi, boys.
Wow, imagine the size of the creature that bone came from.
I know, huh? No, can't you see? They're time-traveling! This obsession with the boys has gone on too long.
You need to stop.
I won't stop! Never, never, never! And I was so close to busting them.
Great Bertha's bloomers, I've done it! I, Professor Onassis, have invented a time machine! Excuse me, future female of the species, have corn dogs been invented yet? Yes.
Hot dog.
I'm stayin'.
Okay, so Sharron's internet feed calls out right in the middle of math class.
Wait, my mom's calling.
Hi, Mom.
What's the fuzz? Amanda, I'm taking a short trip today.
While I'm away, you're in charge.
I'm in charge! Wait, what are you doing? Nothing! I knew it! You never do anything! Now where do I go? More importantly, when? I know! I'll set it for a day I know I can bust the boys.
Back to the first day of that summer.
The day they built the rollercoaster.
Sometimes it's here, sometimes it's not.
Why do I care? Phineas and Ferb got a rollercoaster? You think we could get a discount if we bring the flier? Maybe we better take it.
Here! Look, look, look, see? I told you I'm not crazy! I told you! And you're not crazy because? The poster's missing, right? Follow me.
Oh, my stars! Phineas and Ferb made that?! It's horribly unsafe and dangerous! Hello! Police?! Fire department?! Army?! Air force?! Marines?! Anyone?! Save my sons! It's no use! It's no use, we are doomed! This is Base to Chopper One, some kids built a rollercoaster through downtown.
Roger that.
I'm alive! Roger, got the kids, bringing 'em down now.
Phineas! Ferb! You two are in so much trouble! Yes! Yes! My work here is done.
Back to the future.
The first day on the job, and I'm already seeing things.
Oh, thank goodness.
It's great to be back home? Welcome to Danville? Uh-oh.
I can't believe this is Danville.
Hello? What happened to the museum? Didn't you get the new ShmirtzMail? It's the new doofen-law.
Law number six million and seven.
"All museums that aren't about Doofenshmirtz are to be dismantled.
" Hey, why aren't you wearing your lab coat? Uh I've gotta go see my children.
Children? There are no children allowed anymore.
How long have I been away? That's strange.
Joe's, Joe's, Joe's, Joe's Hi, Joe.
Hello, Joe.
Pardon me, Joe.
You haven't seen my wife Joe, or my friends Joe and Joe? Uh No? Thanks anyway, Joe.
Why is everyone named Joe? Why else? So Emperor Doofenshmirtz need not bother remembering names.
And who is– I said too much.
I said too much! Who the heck is Doofenshmirtz?! That's odd.
I've got to find out what happened in the last twenty years.
Our glorious dystrophy began one summer afternoon when two local boys were caught building and riding a dangerous rollercoaster.
The rightful reaction by concerned parents groups was to stop all creativity in young people before someone got hurt.
Everything fun and unique was gleefully banned! Dangerous swing sets were re-made into dismal hospital beds.
Coloring books were colored in ahead of time.
And inside the lines.
Eventually children themselves were child-proof and stored away until adulthood.
Yes, oppressive beauty and happiness were gratefully replaced by the glimmering cesspool we wallow in today.
A demoralized Tri-State Area cried out to be oppressed, and that cry was answered by one hero Emperor Doofenshmirtz! Ugh, get back to work! So this is all my fault! I've got to stop this.
Excuse me, Joe.
Lab coats must be worn at all times.
Sir, excuse, I– A woman just ran past your statue there without basking in your awful glory.
Oh, Joe, you're such a tattletale.
Well, yeah.
That's my job description.
Tattletale.
Quiet! I need to address the populous.
Attention, underlings! People often ask me, "Doof, how does it feel to wield such absolute power?" Well, I'll tell ya.
(Song: Charmed Life) It's been a charmed life Got all I ever wanted And I'm not too shy to flaunt it, you see! It's been a sweet ride Everyone is genuflectin' And erecting giant statues of me! It's like a great lunch With all you can eat And I can leave my wallet at home And everyone pays for me Because it's compulsory Or into the stockade they're thrown Still, I'm a nice guy How many emperors would always remember your name? How ya doing, Joe? I must admit, I May take quite a lot But I'll always give you plenty of blame It's been a sweet ride Life's a bowl of cherries, and nobody's merrier than me Because, everyone else is the proletariat And baby, I'm the bourgeoisie Look it up, Joe! Baby! I'm the bourgeoisie! Oh, yeah! Agent P, another failed mission.
It's gotten really hard to defeat Doofenshmirtz ever since we swore that oath to obey him.
Major Monogram, I've detected a temporal anomaly in quadrant four which means a time machine was recently used there.
That's it! Agent P, you've got to get to that time machine and go back to the past, right before that giant tin foil ball put you in a full body cast for eighteen months.
That's when Doofenshmirtz got the upper hand and it's been downhill ever since.
This is our chance to fix it.
Oh, wait! Perry the Platypus.
Change of plans.
Instead of doing that, DON'T! All right, see you later.
Remember the oath! Curse that oath! What? Where's the time machine? Excuse me, where's everything from the museum? It's all at the city dump, Joe.
Let's go.
Back to the past, back to the past, back to the past! Looks like this good a spot as any to start a dump.
Yeah, works for me.
W-Wait– What? W-Wai– What? Are you me? But I have to bust– Change of plans! Come on, I'll explain later.
We can't let Candace see us.
But I'm Candace! So am I.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh! Mom? Mom?! Aw, I was so cute.
Why did you stop me? I was just about to bust the boys! No, that's just it.
I'm from the future where we did bust the boys.
Really? How was it? Was it great? No, it was awful.
The future gets all messed up– Oh, look! So, that's how that happened.
Get down! Look, look, look! See?! Okay, I give up.
What am I supposed to be looking at? No! It's not possible! I'm gonna go get the cart.
It was right here, and it was huge! Mom! Wow, that future sounds horrible! Time to go, I've got frozen.
It was, trust me.
Okay, but coming from anybody but myself, I wouldn't listen.
They're gone! Let's get back to the time machine and get out of here.
Curse you, Perry the Platypus! Okay, that was weird.
Well this machine is shot.
How do we get back? Phineas and Ferb.
Okay, we're here.
Are you happy now, Candace? Yes! See, Mom! I told you they weren't there! Oh, hi, boys.
Hi, Mom.
Come on, Candace, help me with the groceries.
But-but-but-but-but-but-but-but Let's go.
But-but-but-but-but But-but-but Hey Phineas, that was great.
Way too cool.
That was awesome! Can we do it again? Sorry, only one ride per customer.
That was great, Phineas.
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
Remember? Three, two, one.
Wait! Candace! You're grown up, and there's two of you! Phineas, we're from the future.
Two alternative futures.
One that's good and one that's terrible.
Someone should really fix that.
We did.
So the bad future no longer exists? Right.
Well if it doesn't exist, shouldn't the Candace from the bad future cease to exist too? Oh, darn.
Guys, I need your help.
The time machine I arrived in is smashed to pieces.
I'm stuck here unless you guys can build me one.
Ferb, isn't there an old time machine in the Museum of National History? Yes, that's the one you'll fix later this summer when we go to the museum.
It's the one I took back from the future but now it's destroyed.
Okay.
So the future time machine gets destroyed, that means the one here in the present is rarin' to go! We'll fix it, take you to the future, bring back the time machine, and unfix it again.
So it'll be ready to be fixed when we go to the museum next time.
Phineas, I'm a fully grown woman and I didn't understand any of that.
Just trust me.
Come on! Wow.
Rollercoaster ride, now this.
Bonus.
Wait a minute.
You sure you can fix this time machine? Don't worry, Candace.
We're almost done.
Candace? Time machine? Aha! Candace, meet Candace.
Awesome! I finally have proof! I'll take my older self, bring her to Mom, Mom will see the boys have invented some kind of time machine, and they'll be busted! Oh! I love you, me! Come on! Let's go! Let's go see Mom! Come on! Wow.
Was I always this nuts? Candace, honey, get a hold of yourself.
I have no interest in busting the boys anymore.
What?! But you're me! You have to want to bust them, because I'm never gonna stop wanting to bust them! You know, sometimes getting what you want isn't what you need.
You'll find out as you mature.
Ready? "You'll find out as you mature".
Candace, just relax.
Everything works out.
Twenty years into the future, here we come! Ugh! Aha! If you won't show my mom what's going on, I'll show your mom! I'm all the proof I need! Candace! We better go and get her.
You know that whole space time continuum thing.
Mom and Dad's antique store.
Yes, it's still here! Ooh, future.
Mom! It's me, Candace from the past! I came here in the time machine that Phineas and Ferb borrowed from the museum.
You gotta bust them! Honey, what are you talking– Candace! You're so young! Mom! You're so ooollll.
Don't say it.
oooollllllddd.
You don't have to say that word.
I mean it! ddddd.
Mom! You're so old! Hi, boys.
Aren't you a little young to be time-travelers? Yes.
Yes, we are.
A time machine.
Does this mean that all those times you told me the boys were up to something, they really were? Yes! Yes, yes! Oh, honey.
I am so sorry I didn't believe you.
Woo-hoo! I finally caught them! Hello? What? Aren't you going to bust them? Candace, my Phineas and Ferb are thirty years old now.
Well, I suppose I could call them, but Phineas is in Switzerland for the award ceremony, and Ferb's still at Camp David for the– Bust them.
Young Phineas and Ferb! I don't think I have jurisdiction over these guys anymore.
Ugh! Okay.
But officially, on record, they are busted.
Right? Sure, Candace.
They're busted.
Yes! Guys, we've seen how time travel can mess things up big time.
So, promise me you won't go into the future again.
Yeah.
Maybe it is a bad idea.
Just think, it's all started because we needed that steel-and-wood fusing tool.
Hey, Candace, you never told us.
How do Ferb and I turn out? Fantastic.
Just keep doing what you're doing, and be nice to your sister.
Yeah.
Be nice to your sister.
You guys coming or what? Where'd you get that? So, that's Uncle Phineas and Ferb as kids? That's right.
And that girl looks like Aunt Isabella.
Did you hear that? Aunt Isabella! That means I'm gonna marry Phineas.
Or Ferb.
Let's go.
Bye! Looks like everything is back to normal.
Wow, Mom, your brothers are so cool.
Meanwhile, I'm stuck with– Hey! Where'd they go? Xavier and Fred, what are you doing? Nothing? See, Mom? They never do anything! Give it a rest, Amanda.
Ah, memories.
I know, huh? Oh, man! In twenty years you guys are so busted! I guess that's a hollow victory.
But it proves you can be busted.
So, I'm never gonna give up! Never, never, never! Did I say, "never?!" Yes, I did! Never, never, never! Never! Never! Never! Well, at least we know she mellows with age.
You got to hang out with dinosaurs? Yeah, earlier this summer.
Hmm.
Well, thank you for inviting me.
Ferb, I know what we we're gonna do today.
No, you don't.
Here's the wood-and-steel fusing tool you need.
Thanks.
Hey, you want a soda? Thanks.
Well, looks like we don't have to go to the future after all! Some other time, perhaps.
I'm watching you!