Pinky and the Brain (1995) s03e06 Episode Script

All You Need Is Narf

Gee, brain, What do you want to do tonight? The same thing we do every night, pinky, Try to take over the world.
they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain one is a genius the other's insane they're laboratory mice their genes have been spliced they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain before each night is done their plan will be unfurled by the dawning of the sun they'll take over the world they're pinky and the brain yes, pinky and the brain their twilight campaign is easy to explain to prove their mousey worth they'll overthrow the earth they're dinky they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain brain, brain, brain, brain Narf! by warner bros.
Radio: * i am tall and you are small * and we are plaid and i am uncle vanya you are the doorknob he is the milkman i am the cheesebag boop-Boop-A-Doop! Grr.
I can't hear myself think, pinky.
Turn down those hooting caterwaulers.
Oh, they're not the hooting caterwaulers, brain.
They're the feebles.
liverpudlian mop-Tops Who've taken the world by storm.
Merely a group of dissonant amateurs, pinky.
Taking the world by storm requires precision planning And technical innovation of the highest caliber, Such as that displayed in my latest creation.
Oooh! Zort! Would that be electric tie-Dyed lollipops? A colorful suggestion, pinky, but no.
I call my new invention the lava lamp.
People will be infatuated By the colorful lava-Like matter it spews.
As they look on in stupefied awe, Every room will fill with our ersatz lava, Which will then harden and trap the public.
With the masses unable to move, I will step in and take over the world.
Oh, brain.
You are the cheesebag.
But in order to carry out my plan, We need to find massive quantities of sandalroot, An aromatic herb normally used as incense, That grows only in india.
It is the catalyst which causes the fake lava in the lamp to overflow.
Oooh! I can't wait, brain! Zort! Oh, but, no, no.
What if we go all the way to india And all they have is ink? Then people wouldn't get stuck in the lava, They'd just get horribly, horribly stained.
Pinky, i believe the contemporary counterculture Has infested the petri dish of your mind.
Oooh! Ha ha ha.
Narf out! My point exactly, pinky.
And now, as the kids would say, We're about to take a groovy trip to india By the fastest conveyance available.
A yellow submarine? No, pinky.
We shall mail ourselves to acme labs in new delhi.
Oooh! Just like that feebles' song, The mystical majesty trip.
climb in climb in to the mystical box Waaa! Unh.
Brain: why are we making so many stops? I should have paid the extra 79 cents for express handling.
Pinky: relax, brain.
Have some more of these delicious airline peanuts.
Those are styrofoam packing peanuts, pinky.
Oooh! Aah! Aah! Aah! Oooh! Oooh.
That was a groovy trip.
Yes no.
It's a pity the trip wasn't longer.
A few of my bones are still intact.
Man: spices.
Spices for sale.
Spices! I must have sandalroot for the guru.
So many people are going to see the guru, But i have but one packet left.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Did you hear that, pinky? The local guru has all the sandalroot.
This man will lead us to him.
Great maharishi.
At last i have--Huh? "Out to meditate"? My, my.
This is a great disaster.
I have come all this way, And now i shall not have the answer to my question.
Poit! What question? Why are we here? Oh, well.
I don't know about you, But i always find myself in the strangest places When brain wants to take over the world.
Pinky, be quiet.
Yes, of course.
Why did i not see this? The brain in its vanity Transports us to many planes of existence.
Oooh! Nooo! Brain didn't transport us in a plane.
We came in a box.
A mystical majesty box.
Ha ha.
This is a great truth.
The brain is like a mystical box That closes us inside ourselves.
[Words of agreement] You are wise beyond your stature, o guru.
Guru? Narf! Where? Such modesty.
Please let us bow before you.
Ah, that will not be necessary.
The, uh, guru asks only for your sandalroot.
[Expressions of thanks] Pinky, are you pondering what i'm pondering? I think so, brain.
But if we give peas a chance, Won't the lima beans feel left out? For some unfathomable reason, These people actually think that you possess wisdom.
Pinky, from this moment on, You will assume the role of-- Mean mr.
Ketchup? No, pinky.
The guru mouse-Arishi.
Just keep dispensing your blockheaded banalities, And before long we'll have all the sandalroot we need To take over the world.
I'll do my best.
Troz! Please, i need to see the mouse-Arishi immediately.
The mouse-Arishi is awaiting his 9:00.
Perhaps we could squeeze you in around 3:00.
I'll give you 12 bags of sandalroot.
My, look at the time.
Thank you.
Thank you.
I simply must hear the mouse-Arishi's great wisdom.
Back at home, i have a lollipop i talk to.
Oh, yes.
Sometimes, when i feel all giggly-Wiggly, I sing him a little song.
Zort! Right on! Far out! This is walter concrete with the evening news.
In india, a tiny guru, the mouse-Arishi, Has become the spiritual leader Of the self-Proclaimed flower power generation.
Celebrities, jet-Setters, and just plain folk Have come from around the world to visit the mouse-Arishi.
You are one coo-Coo cat.
Me? (Laughs] Oh, no, mr.
Narf! I'm a mouse.
That is some cool and groovy wisdom You're layin' on the world, My hep little friend.
Concrete: even the feebles, Those 4 fresh-Faced liverpudlian mop-Tops Who have taken the world by storm, Have laid their sandalroot before the mouse-Arishi.
all you eat is lunch all you drink is punch you don't have time to munch brunch all you eat is lunch Ok, feebles, your time is up.
Pinky, you have to keep seeing new clients.
We have almost enough sandalroot.
But, brain, i can't see any more clients For the next 6 months.
What? Isn't it wonderful? We're going to have a 6-Month sing-In So that everyone in the world Will learn to love each other And brush their teeth.
These tranquil mountains are the perfect place to show the world The power of love and dental hygiene.
Yeah, man, it's good to get away From all those screaming girls.
It's so peaceful here.
Yes, peaceful.
Bongo: it's so quiet.
There's no screaming.
I'm ruined.
You look so sad.
I will sing you my happy song.
eeee-Ooww! ee-Yow-Eeee! Whoareyou? I have come to see the guru And sing my beautiful song.
eeee-Oowww! eeee-Oowww! eee-Yow-Eeee! Go away.
The guru isn't seeing anybody.
Then i will sing my sad song.
eee-Owowo-Eee ooowwww-Ee On second thought eee-Owow-Ee ooowwww-Eee She's awful.
She's terrible.
She can't sing.
I love her.
Yoyo nono, meet the feebles.
I will sing my love song.
eee-Owoooo! Eee-Oowww-Yee! The music world was stunned today By the announcement that the feebles, Those 4 fresh-Faced liverpudlian mop-Tops Who've taken the world by storm, will be disbanding.
It seems that jim, the lonely feeble, Has run off to marry performance artist And really bad singer, yoyo nono.
Angry fans stormed the retreat of the guru mouse-Arishi, Whom they blame for introducing the couple.
The mouse-Arishi and his assistant Were forced to flee for their lives.
[Angry shouts] Well, pinky, At least we have 2 1/2 tons of sandalroot.
When this all blows over, We can go back and get it.
I don't think so, brain.
Jim and yoyo took it all back to england For yoyo's latest performance piece.
What? what we are singing is take off your pants Walter concrete: here in a small haberdasher's in london, Former feeble jim lemmon and his bride yoyo nono Are holding a demonstration To teach the world to live without pants, Like their teacher, the mouse-Arishi.
Pants are oppressive, man! Yoyo's sandalroot sculpture Symbolizes the freedom of living pants-Less.
eee-Yeee-Owwww Brain: turn off that tv, pinky.
We have to mail ourselves back to acme labs, u.
, And prepare to take advantage of the next youth fad.
Why, brain? What are we going to do during the next youth fad? The same thing we do during every youth fad, pinky.
Try to take over the world.
Feebles: * they're dinky * they're pinky and the brain yeah, yeah, yeah yeah Pinky: i have blisters on me fingers! Ooooh! Narf! Ooh.
[Panting] Ooh! Ohoh, brain.
I thought i was having a nightmare.
But it's just you working out in a purple tank top.
Brain in a tank top! Aaah! Thank you for that shriek of encouragement, pinky.
You're welcome.
Poit! I'm trying to slow the aging process.
Do you know what today is? Um the day we spackle the cracks in my brain with spam? That would be a waste of good spam.
Today is the day That marks my arrival into this world.
Brain! It's your birthday? Oooh, you're one-- Um what comes after one, brain? I'm 2 years old today.
Starting to get that middle-Age, flabby, saggy, baggy, Wiggly-Jiggly, paunchy thingy, eh, brain? Uh, ha ha ha ha.
Well, what a jolly, fun summation Of my corporeal decay.
Look at this! A raisin! I found it this morning Hiding under one of my jowls.
It's probably been there for months.
Um are you going to eat that? No, i'm on a diet.
My whole face is bulging and drooping.
How does this make me look? Lovely, brain! Zort.
Sort of nouveau hello kitty.
That tears it, pinky.
We'll hear nothing more about birthdays.
Does that mean no presents, brain? Yes.
I still haven't found a use For this half a button you gave me last year.
Oh, it's such a pretty, shiny button, brain.
Don't you like it? I appreciate the thought, pinky.
But the only thing i want in the world is the world! Egad.
I don't know where to get that, brain.
Besides, how would i wrap it up? Then let me finish suffering through my workout in peace.
What'll i do for the rest of the day? I don't care, pinky.
Just surprise me and stay out of trouble.
Surprise you? Oh, that's brilliant, brain! Troz! Um, are you pondering what i'm pondering? What did you say, pinky? Oh, nothing, brain.
Ha ha ha ha.
Now i'm starting to hear things, too.
"Where: chunky cheezey.
" Zort! Oh, brain will like that.
Ooooh, i've never thrown a surprise party before.
I've never thrown anything except food pellets.
And where will i find happy party hats? Hmmm.
Brain! Unh.
Sorry, brain.
There was aum fly on your head.
Sorry, pinky.
There was a, um stupid look on your face.
What are you doing at my chalkboard? Uh, uh i was, um, tracing my hand, brain.
Yeah, you know, drawing, Um, um, hands.
Ha ha ha.
Um, by the way, brain, what is your hat size? Pinky, if you're going to act sillier than usual, Which in itself is a feat, Do it quietly.
I'm going to meditate.
Rightio, brain.
Poit! Now to invite all the world leaders.
Let's see-- The national inquisitor.
[Phone rings] woman: hello? All-Night party? Toast our brain? Is this roger? Forget it, buster.
Oh, well, his loss.
Narf! Now, who's next? "Yassir arafat.
" No! Nyet! No, eh? There's going to be plastic balls and chocolate cake-- Man: no! Oh, too bad.
Bye, mr.
Sonny bono.
Oh, dear.
Nobody can come to brain's party.
Narf! I'm a failure.
How come i never get any important messages? Party at chunky cheezey tonight? I'm there.
He's going to a party tonight? Well, if he's going, i'm going.
Chunky cheezey? Whoa, anywhere food goes, boris goes.
What do you think, pinky? Does this make me look younger? Hmm? Turn this way.
You know, actually, brain, it makes you look A little like richard simmons.
Troz! That's it! I'm canceling my membership In the hair club for mice.
[Knock on door] Now what? Who is it? Oof! Hey, hey! Ho, ho! "Mr.
Pinky, mr.
Pinky, mr.
Pinky, mr.
" These are all for mr.
Oh, that would be me.
I mean, i'm mr.
Zort! I mean, you know, it's probably just junk mail, brain.
Narf! I'll get rid of it right away.
Bwaaah! Ha ha ha ha.
Oh, joy.
What lovely luck.
Troz! These heads of state are coming to brain's party, after all.
I do hope they bring their bodies of state.
[Knock on door] brain: pinky? Pinky! I know you're in there.
I demand to know what's going on.
Umjust having a little chat with the cleaning products.
Be out in a jiff, brain.
Brain? Hmm "who:" World leaders.
"World leaders.
Chunky cheezey? Tonight? My best friend is out to betray me.
Pinky taking over the world? Without me? Et tu, pinkus? Brain: how could this happen? My only friend about to betray me.
Just when you think you know someone, He tries to take over the world Right under your nose! Ha! Over my rapidly improving, Still nubile body.
If pinky thinks he can steal my destiny, He's wrong.
Here, brain.
When you're done talking to yourself, Why don't you meet me at this address at 7 p.
Don't come before 7:00 or you'll spoil the plan.
Poit! Ha ha ha.
Oh, i won't show up before 7:00.
But a certain mr.
Richard simmons will.
Crowd: bubba! Bubba! Bubba! [Cheering] Top that, boris.
[Belches] Boris yeltsin: not now, billy-Boy bubba.
I'm too busy doing my wacky dance.
Oh, you world leaders are so much fun.
Zort! I can't wait for another game of pin the maple leaf On brian mulrooney.
Ha ha ha.
[Laughter] Now everybody boris? Thank you.
If i could just have your attention for a moment, please.
I'd like to tell you about my friend, the brain.
He has them in the palm of his hand.
What machiavellian self-Promotion could he be feeding them? Then he found a raisin under his jowl.
And he gave it to me! [Sobbing] [Muttering] And that is my selfless, smart, pudgy friend, the brain.
And it would mean so much to him if today, On his birthday, You would hand over your countries to him.
Narf! As a gift.
Like it says on my refrigerator, "Love is dot dot dot.
" Hmm.
I do not know.
A country's kind of an important thing, eh? Oooh, but he's really, really smart.
Think of all he can do for the world.
Think of the children.
Think of the puppies.
Think of sally struthers.
[Crying] He sounds like the cream of the borscht.
Counting me in.
Hooray! Yeah! I say here are the keys to my country.
Your brain fellow sounds like a jolly good chap.
Yeah, and besides, that pizza was tasty.
[Murmuring in agreement] Poit! Brain will be so grateful.
Everyone, meet brain.
Looks more like richard simmons to me.
Have you people lost your minds? You fools! Can't any of you multinational dolts see that this so-Called Mr.
Pinky is pulling a fast one on you? He's a devious traitor.
He's been plotting behind my back, Planning this whole-- Birthday party? Birthday party.
Birthday party? Oh, yes, brain.
And your gift is the world.
Surprise! Narf.
Pinky, you did all this for me? And now the world is mine? This is not puppy-Loving genius you tell us about! I'll jolly well not turn my country over to richard simmons.
Yeah! Yeah! I'm not richard simmons.
I'm the brain.
You are too richard simmons.
Hey, i knew all along that thing was a wig.
I'm an idiot.
Ha ha ha ha.
So am i.
Troz! Want some cake? I don't deserve a friend like you, pinky.
Ha ha ha ha.
Narf! What do you want to do for your birthday next year, brain? Same thing i do every birthday, pinky.
Try to take over the world! Chorus: * they're dinky * they're pinky and the brain brain, brain, brain, brain, brain warner bros.
Captioned by the national --Www.