Pointless Celebrities (2010) s11e08 Episode Script

Theatre Actors

Thank you very much indeed.
Hello, I'm Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome to this theatrical edition of Pointless Celebrities, the quiz where the more obscure your knowledge, the better your chances of winning.
Let's meet today's Pointless celebrities.
And couple number one.
I'm Rufus Hound and I'm here for a DNA test to prove Gary Wilmot is my real dad! I'm Gary Wilmot.
APPLAUSE And couple number two.
Hello, I'm Louise Dearman and I'm a musical theatre actress and singer.
My name is Wayne Sleep and I used to be with a ballet company but I went commercial! APPLAUSE Couple number three.
Hello, I'm Annette Badland and I'm an actress, apparently! And I'm Neil Dudgeon, and I'm an actor.
APPLAUSE And finally, couple number four.
I'm Anita Harris and I've had many a good old day with my wonderful Roy Hudd next to me.
And I'm Roy Hudd, spinster of this parish! APPLAUSE Thank you very much, all of you.
A very, very warm welcome to Pointless.
It's wonderful to have you with us.
We'll get a chance to chat a lot more throughout the show as it goes along, so that just leaves one more person for me to introduce.
"Darling," he once said to me, "Break a leg, darling.
" It's not the nicest thing to say to someone on a skiing trip! It's my Pointless friend, it's Richard.
Hiya.
Hi, everybody, good evening.
APPLAUSE Good evening to you.
Good evening.
This is quite a line-up, isn't it? It is.
It's the first show we've ever done where there'll be an interval of 15 minutes.
So, if you pre-order your drinks now.
Maybe it'll run to two intervals.
Yes, I would have thought so.
Now, Gary Wilmot has a little bit of history with us in that he got through to a final on his previous appearance.
So he's a pretty good player, and also he's teamed up with Rufus Hound.
Yeah.
And he's got that quizzer look in his eye, Rufus Hound.
You know what I mean? That silent assassin look.
They're going to be tough to beat, aren't they? I think they might be.
I think they might be.
It's going to be close, though, I think.
I think it might be.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Now, today is a celebrity show and because it's a celebrity show, and each of our celebrities is playing for a nominated charity, we're going to start off with a bumper jackpot of ã2,500.
APPLAUSE Right, if everyone's ready, let's play Pointless.
All you have to remember is this.
The pair with the highest score at the end of each round will be eliminated, so, keep your scores as low as you dare, OK? Very, very best of luck to all four pairs.
No conferring, of course, until we get to the head-to-head round.
Our first category this evening is Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second? And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
OK.
And the question concerns Oh, God, you'll do better than me.
Richard.
Yeah, I promise you this is less complicated than it sounds.
We're going to show you a list of seven on each board of a London Tube station and a UK top 40 single.
Now, the last word of the London Tube station is also the first word of that top 40 single, and we've missed that word out.
Can you tell us what it is, please? This is going to be fun, isn't it? OK, so, we are looking for the underground station that supplies the missing word to each of these top 40 singles.
Here is our first board of seven.
And it reads like this.
OK, I will quickly read those again.
There we go.
Now, then, Gary, welcome to Pointless.
Fabulous to have you with us again, Gary.
Um, you, I notice, do a great many touring shows.
Yes.
You do a lot of theatre tours.
Is that just because that's the way it goes or do you have a particular love of being on the road? No, I'm not very good, so I have to keep moving, that's the thing! But, no, yes, I've done a lot of touring.
I've done quite a bit of West End as well, so it mixes up a little bit.
I'm taking a bit of a sideways, I've actually written a play and I'm directing it down at the Alexander Theatre in Bognor Regis.
So, I'm very excited about that.
Very good indeed.
And then you'll be touring it, of course.
Well, yeah, then I'll be back on the road touring again.
Do you have your favourite digs that you always go to in particular places? Do you know, I'm one of those actors that doesn't.
I don't know why, but every time I go to a new city, or a city I've been to a thousand times before, I'm always looking for new digs, I don't know why.
I've never really made that digs list.
There you go.
There you go.
There you go.
Now, Gary, this is a nice board, I think, isn't it? Well, it kind of is.
My station's on the Northern Line.
I don't think any of those are on the Northern Line.
I think I'll have to go .
.
Park Royal.
OK, Park Royal Event.
Park Royal Event, Russ Conway.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Royal.
It is Royal.
It's a good answer.
It's a very good answer.
Look at that, down to 5, Gary.
APPLAUSE Strong.
Well played, yeah.
Park Royal is the Tube station, Royal Event, a number 15 hit from Russ Conway.
Thank you, Richard.
Louise.
Hello.
Welcome to Pointless.
You started musical theatre and singing and dancing and everything at the age of three, I think.
Yeah.
Is that true? That's true.
It was just a hobby to begin with, obviously, at the age of three.
I got my little tutu out and went to my ballet classes, and then, yeah.
Was there ever a time in your life when you weren't destined for musical theatre, then? Never.
I can't do anything else, quite frankly.
I'm really bad at this, for a start.
You say that.
You are, I think, the only actor in the world to have played two different parts in Wicked.
Yes.
Is that true? It's true, I think.
I don't think anyone else has stolen my title yet.
No, I should hope not.
Do you have a favourite part, looking back over your career? Probably Miss Adelaide in Guys And Dolls.
Yeah.
Ah, lovely.
Very good indeed.
Now, Louise.
OK.
Time to face the music.
What are you going to go for? Um, well, every one I can think of is pretty obvious, but I'm going to go with Green Door, Golders Green Door.
Green Door, says Louise.
Let's see how many of our 100 people went for Green Door.
It's right.
Oh.
Look at that, 84.
84 right.
That was a big score.
Better than 100, though.
Green Door, it's the first single I ever bought, Green Door.
Really? Yeah.
Well, I bought that and I bought Swords Of A Thousand Men by Tenpole Tudor.
That's the first I bought.
That's the one I say, because it's a bit cooler than Green Door by Shakin' Stevens.
OK.
Thank you very much indeed.
Annette, welcome to Pointless, lovely to have you here.
Now, you joined the RSC back in 1973.
I should think you must have been pretty much straight out of college.
I was.
I'd worked with The Actors Company before that, with Ian McKellen, and played Mole in Toad Of Toad Hall, which is pretty good, you know.
Women don't usually get to do that.
And then straight into the RSC.
Straight into Audrey in As You Like It and just straight up to Stratford.
I mean, that must have been, it was Stratford stratospheric, I should have thought.
It's where I'd always wanted to be.
It's where I'd gone to see the plays.
I am a Midlander so I'd kind of gone to see matinees and things, so it's where I always wanted to be.
And there I was, straight away.
Anything you look back on and think, "Ah, that was the purple patch"? Or is right now the purple patch? Yeah, well, I'm with Neil in Midsomer at the moment, so It's fabulous.
Very good indeed.
Now, let's get an answer from you on this fabulous board of missing underground stations.
I think Bow Street and Street Of The Poisoned Mind.
Bow Street Of The Poisoned Mind, says Annette.
Let's see if it's right, let's see how many of our 100 people said Bow Street.
Oh! Oh, Annette! Neil, I am so sorry.
I'm so sorry.
That may very well not be the last incorrect answer of the round, so don't worry.
But that was incorrect.
It scores you 100 points.
Yeah, sorry, Annette, I'll give all the correct answers at the end of the pass.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Now, Anita, welcome to Pointless.
Thank you very much.
Lovely to have you here.
Now, you, at the age of 15, you went off to Vegas.
I know.
I've just come back! You were a chorus girl in Vegas at the age of 15.
I was a skater as a young kid, and it took me into the world of dancing.
And, yes, a chorus girl at the age of 16.
How long did you stay out there? We went for three months and stayed for six months.
It was a wonderful learning curve Oh, I'll say.
.
.
discipline, but also to see Nevada, nature at its best as well.
And to be in that atmosphere of incredible performance was a joy.
Were they nice to you, the other chorus girls? A young English girl coming to join? Oh, yes.
One was Aimi MacDonald, my friend now, God bless her.
And I was the other one! Anita, you're the last person to have this board.
Do you want to go through it and fill in all those blanks? Whoa! Seven Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves.
Oxford Street.
Covent Garden.
Er I'm going to go for Seven Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves.
Sisters, says Anita.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Sisters.
She's right.
Sisters scores 75, not bad.
Oh, I'm sorry, not a good score.
Not bad.
Well played, Seven Sisters, and Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves.
Shall we clear up the Bow Street mystery? Yes.
Bow Church, Church Of The Poisoned Mind, by Culture Club.
25 points for that.
Helen Terry.
She sang on that, yeah, absolutely.
It's Oxford Circus, Circus Games, by The Skids.
39 points for that.
Covent Garden, and Garden Party.
93 points for that.
There's some big scorers up there.
And Mill Hill East.
It is East.
East West, and that would have scored you nine points.
So, Royal, Gary Wilmot, the best answer on that board by a mile.
Well played.
Yeah.
Well, there we are.
We're halfway through the round.
Let's take a quick look at those scores.
5, well done, Gary and Rufus.
Then, up to 75, quite a jump, where we find Anita and Roy.
Then up to 84 where we find Louise and Wayne.
And then 100, Annette and Neil.
You're not that far ahead of everyone else, though, that's quite nice.
But, Neil, we need a low score from you in the next pass, so good luck with that.
We're going to come back down the line now.
Can the second players please step up to the podium? OK.
Let's put seven more London Underground stations on the board, with top 40 hits alongside them.
We have got I'll read those again.
There we are.
And remember, we're looking for the missing word that is shared by both these underground stations and UK top 40 hits.
Now then, Roy.
Roy.
You started out, Roy, as a Redcoat.
Yes, I did indeed.
It's where I met most of these people, actually.
And Anita's still got hers on! This is like a family reunion for me here.
Any gathering of actors is, isn't it, generally? Well, she was my wife, was Anita, in Follies, at the Albert Hall, just recently.
Anna was my wife in the BBC Radio 4 series, Home Front.
And he, Wayne, was very nearly my mother in Totnes! And Roy, what would you like to go for, on this brand-new board? We need a low score from you here.
You're on 75 at the moment.
I think Edgware Road Rage.
Road Rage, says Roy.
There is your red line, Roy.
If you can get below that with Road, you are through to Round Two.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Road Rage.
Go on.
Oh, no.
73.
73 takes your total up to 148.
You could have kept yourselves in the game there, I think, Roy.
Absolutely.
We saw lots of big scores in the first round.
I suspect there may be a few more.
It's going to be very interesting coming down that line.
There we are.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now, then, Neil.
Welcome to Pointless.
Thank you.
Now, you started out in weekly rep.
I did, yes.
We don't see a weekly rep any more.
Well, it's still going.
I started in Frinton-on-Sea where there is still a summer theatre.
For people coming out of drama school, you went straight off to rep, didn't you? And you played, how many different roles did you play? While I was there, I did seven plays in seven weeks.
It was a shock, it was a shock.
You're doing a show on the Monday night, and then you learn the play and rehearse the play through the week, and then you open another play the following Monday night.
I mean Yeah! It's a bit quick.
A bit quick, yeah.
And it's all a bit, you're a bit not over-prepared for it.
I like the expression, "a bit not over-prepared.
" I think we can all use that as our motto for how we live our lives, can't we? I find myself a bit not over-prepared for pretty much everything.
Like I feel now! Well, listen, you have got a target, now.
47 or less.
Yes, yes.
47 or less.
Well, we've got to play safe and not go on a punt that might be wrong, and then end up with another 100 points.
I'm going to have to go for Lambeth North.
OK, you are going to go for Lambeth North Country Boy.
Lambeth North.
Here is your red line.
Get below that with North, you are through to Round Two.
How many people said North? It's right.
You've done it.
Oh, you've done it, with room to spare, 9! Neil, very well done indeed.
109 is your total, through you go to Round Two.
Very well played, Neil.
Yeah, it used to be called Kennington Road tube station.
But it's exactly that thing, you knew the first bit of it, and so you can sort of ignore the second bit and take that risk which is exactly what you did.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Wayne, welcome back to Pointless.
Great to have you here.
Thank you.
Your career is quite extraordinary.
It's had so many different high points.
As you say, you started off in classical ballet.
Yes.
And you sort of went from being at the zenith of the highbrow there over at Covent Garden.
Yes.
And then you sort of stepped across to the West End and you dazzled in that arena as well.
I went from the Royal Ballet and I had leave of absence to be invited by Andrew Lloyd Webber to play Mr Mistoffelees in Cats in the first production so I was really thrilled by that.
I kept meaning to go back to the Royal Ballet.
But eventually, after ten years, they took me off the principal list, they just etched me out, because I never went back.
But it was wonderful.
I've had a wonderful time.
You hold the record for being able to do the most something-or-others in the air.
You can jump up and do something before you land.
They're called entrechats.
You can do a million entrechats.
No, six! Six.
It's called an entrechat-douze because each leg counts as one.
From a standing position, you jump in the air, cross your legs six times, and land.
Can you still do that, Wayne? You're joking.
I can do that, you know, a bit of it, but not now, no.
Very, very athletic.
I think the set can just take that.
Now, Wayne, there you are on 84.
If you can possibly score 63 or less, you're into Round Two.
Well, I'm just going for an easy answer, I think, on this.
Don't go too easy, Wayne.
Well I'll go for London Bridge Over Troubled Water.
OK, Bridge Over Troubled Water, says Wayne.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.
Here is your red line.
You have to get below that, with Bridge.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said that.
Oh.
I feared I feared that might happen, Wayne.
That scored you 90, and takes your total up to 174.
Yeah, unlucky.
It's a big old score, but you've made Roy and Anita very happy.
Thanks very much, Richard.
Rufus, welcome to Pointless.
You're looking very well, Rufus.
Thanks very much! You're very kempt.
Well, I've spent all summer being a toad.
That would do it.
At the end of that, I just wanted to shave every part of myself to take the character off and flush him away.
Gary was my badger.
Oh, that's nice.
I say my badger.
I was his toad.
It depends how you want to see it, really.
You started out in comedy.
Comedy was very much your thing.
The theatre thing that, perhaps, I don't know, did you go into that on a whim? Yeah, it's tricky because essentially I'm freelance.
Well, I guess, as are we all.
How I actually feel about it is, there are things I would love to do, and if you get the chance to do them, then why wouldn't you? And it's been amazing, amazing.
I absolutely love it.
Sancho Panza with the RSC.
That was the one, man, that was the joy.
What about that? Yeah, David Threlfall as Don Quixote.
And just basically standing near David Threlfall.
When you say that, you say that was the joy.
You've just been working with Gary for quite a long time on something, but, oh, man, I tell you who's great - David Threlfall.
Oh, working with him, I'd love to do that again.
Now, Rufus, this board is all yours, do you want to go through it and fill in all those blanks for us? I know you'll be able to do that.
Well, I'll also play my hand here, slightly, that I am a massive, massive fan of Pointless.
So it annoys me when people are in this position, they're through to the next round, and they just roll one in.
So, from the top down, it's Hyde Park Corner, Corner Of The Earth, I think.
Clapham Common, Common People.
Baker Street, Street Life, by The Crusaders.
The only one I don't know is Roding something.
But, because I don't know it, I'm assuming that's the only one likely to be a Pointless answer.
And because we're already through, I should take a punt at the one that I don't know the answer to, because we're already through.
Because I love this game, and it bothers me when people don't do this! I absolutely love watching the pair of you in this exact moment when people go, "So I'll play it safe.
" And I can see you going, "Why? "Why are you playing? "That's literally the opposite of what you should be doing now!" I'll tell you what, I'm looking forward to this answer now! Just to point out, though, I don't know the answer I'm about to give! This is going to be a complete guess.
It's as it should be.
So, I don't know, but I will take a punt on .
.
Street Of Tears.
This is the wrong answer but it might be pointless and worth a punt.
It's worth a punt, Rufus.
No red line for you, Rufus, you're through, anyway.
But let's find out.
Is that right? How many people said Street Of tears? Oh.
Well done, though, Rufus very well done.
It scores you 100 points, it takes your total up to 105.
Still the lowest score of the round, by the way.
And we applaud you for taking the risk as well.
Very well done.
I think Annette and Gary both know it, so I'll count to three and they can both give me the answer.
One, two, three.
Valley.
Roding Valley, and Valley Of Tears, by Fats Domino, would have scored you five points if you'd answered it.
It is the best answer on the board.
And you took us through the other ones very nicely.
Hyde Park Corner.
That would have scored you 47 points.
Clapham Common, and Common People would have scored you 51.
And Baker Street and Street Life would have scored you 81.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
So, we are at the end of our first round, and the pair we have to say goodbye to, with their high score of 124.
Us.
I'm sorry, Wayne and Louise.
Ah, mortified.
Never mind.
I'm sorry.
There's nothing wrong with either of your answers.
They were just really popular songs.
We'll just tap our troubles away.
Ah.
Well, it has been lovely having you here.
Thank you so much for coming to play.
Come and play again.
Wayne and Louise, everyone! APPLAUSE But for the remaining three pairs, it's now time for Round Two.
And look at that - cruelly, suddenly cut down to three pairs.
At the end of this round, I can warn you, it's only going to get worse.
We have to lose another pair.
But Gary and Rufus, on the strength of that round, it isn't going to be you.
Best of luck to all three pairs for our next round.
The category for Round Two today is Ah, Rufus, very happy.
Can you all decide in your pairs who's going to go first, who's going to go second? Well, I don't know any words! And whoever's going first, please step up to the podium.
OK, let's find out what the question is.
Here it comes.
We gave 100 people 100 seconds to name as many .
.
words ending R-A-Y as they could.
R-A-Y.
We are looking for any word which has its own entry in the oxforddictionaries.
com's British and world English section, please, that ends R-A-Y.
As always, no hyphenated words, no proper nouns, anything like that.
So, any word ending R-A-Y.
It's a tough one, this one.
It is.
OK, Rufus, we are looking for words that end with the letters R-A-Y.
So, I think I've got a good one, but I don't know for a fact.
And I think, positionally, the right thing to do here is just get a dart on the board.
We can always, at the end of the round, ask you what you would have gone for.
All right.
But don't go for something disappointing now, though.
No.
I think Well, I think the word I'm going to go for is I don't hear people use it very often, so I think it might not be the first one that jumped into people's minds.
Oh, maybe it's my one.
Maybe you've got my one.
It sometimes happens.
OK.
Yeah.
I'm going to go for affray.
You haven't got my one.
Affray, says Rufus.
Let's see how many of our 100 people went for affray.
It's very good, by the way.
It deserves to go a long way down.
And it .
.
sort of does, 11.
11 is not bad, not bad, not bad.
Not bad.
Affray.
It's a very good start to the round, Rufus.
Well played, yeah.
I once appeared with David Threlfall in Who's Affray of Virginia Woolf? Thank you very much, Richard.
Annette.
Betray.
Betray, says Annette.
Let's see how many of our 100 people went for betray.
13 for betray.
Another very good answer, to expose someone or your country to danger treacherously.
Mm.
To betray.
Thank you.
Now, Roy.
I'll go for array.
A-R-R-A-Y.
Thank you.
OK, good.
Oh, that array.
Just in case you're ignorant as I am.
Array, says Roy, let's see how many of our 100 people said array.
It's right.
Well, 13 is the high scorer, 11 is the low.
Nice and close.
Oh.
Oh, Roy! Well done, not bad, not bad.
23 for array.
Yeah, an impressive range of something.
So, if you were at a shop that sold hips, you would have a hip-hip array! Thank you very much, Richard.
We are halfway through the round.
Let's take a quick look at those scores.
11 is the lowest score of the pass.
Very well done indeed, Rufus.
Rufus and Gary once again looking rather clever at this point.
Then up to 13 is where we find Annette and Neil.
And then up to 23 is where we find Roy and Anita.
So, you're not way ahead, but Anita, a nice, low-scoring answer from you wouldn't hurt.
Good luck with that.
We're going to come back down the line now.
Can the second players please step up to the podium? OK, so, Anita, remember, we are looking for words that end with the letters R-A-Y.
OK.
R-A-Y.
And you're the high-scorers.
So, yes, a nice obscure word.
Stingray.
Stingray.
Stingray, says Anita.
Let's see how many of our 100 people went with stingray.
No red line, I'm afraid, for you, as you're our high-scorers, currently.
Oh Oh.
Oh, 40 for stingray.
63 is your total.
Yes, it's a big score, that is.
I wonder if it's because, you think of a ray, you think of the fish immediately, maybe.
It's a good answer, though.
It is a good answer.
Thank you, Richard.
Now then, Neil.
You have a target of 49.
49 or less and you're in the head-to-head.
I assume one can have the word dray, as in dray horse.
Dray.
Doctor Dray! Yes, well.
I like that.
Here is your red line.
If you get below that with dray, you are through to the next round.
Let's see how many of our 100 people went for dray.
It's certainly right.
Oh, and it gets you through, by the way.
Look at that, down it goes, 29.
It's good enough.
42 is your total.
I thought it might have gone further down there.
Well played, Neil.
Yeah, 71 of our 100 forgot about dray.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now then, Gary.
Gary, 51 or less is what you need to score here to remain with us.
I'm struggling with this one, but I'll go for it.
Mantaray.
Mantaray, says Gary.
Mantaray.
OK.
There is your red line, Gary.
Mantaray is what you are going to go for.
Let's see if you can get below that red line, with mantaray.
Is it right? How many people said mantaray? Oh, Gary, I'm sorry.
I should have gone fray.
I'm so sorry, I'm afraid that's an incorrect answer.
It scores you 100 points, takes your total up to 111.
Sorry, Gary, that is tough luck.
It's two words, manta ray, I'm afraid.
Rufus, did you have a risky one you were going to go for? I've often thought that the trick to this round is to think of a short word and then think of a prefix.
So, Roy had array.
I've got a feeling in astronomy you can have a superarray? You're not a million miles off.
You can have a microarray Ah.
.
.
Which would have been a pointless answer.
Superarray would have been wrong.
But given that you've lost anyway, that would have That would have been the way to do it, wouldn't it? Yeah.
But no, it's exactly right.
Have you got a good answer? Misportray.
Oh! Misportray.
Goodness me.
Misportray Yeah.
.
.
is a pointless answer.
Yay.
Well done.
About time.
Very nice.
APPLAUSE Shall we take a look at some more of them? Yes.
Let's take a look at some more pointless answers.
Amscray, which means to go away quickly, is a pointless answer.
Autotray which is Autotray's a great idea.
Isn't it, for the canteen, it'd be amazing.
Imagine if you were sitting at home and you've just got one of those boring, old-fashioned analogue trays.
Autotray would be amazing.
Maray is a pointless answer.
There's microarray.
Misarray, as well.
Overspray is an interesting one.
But you probably wouldn't have risked overspray.
It's one of those ones, isn't it? It just means to spray beyond the area you're supposed to be spraying.
Three more here.
Repray.
Respray is pointless answer, lots of people would have got that.
And unpray is a word.
That means to rescind a request to a deity.
It really does! If you pray and you decide, actually, it's not what I wanted.
Do you know what? On second thoughts On second thoughts, I don't actually like him that much, I wonder if I could ask for that back.
To unpray.
Thank you very much, Richard.
Well, we are at the end of our second round and we have to send one of our pairs home.
This breaks my heart, Gary and Rufus.
I'm so sorry.
Can I unpray now, please? Far too soon to be sending you home.
But please come back and play again.
It's been lovely having you here.
Rufus and Gary, brilliant, brilliant.
APPLAUSE But for our remaining two pairs, it is now time for our head-to-head.
Congratulations, Neil and Annette, Roy and Anita, you are now one step closer to the final, and a chance to play for our jackpot which currently stands at ã2,500.
But this is the bit where we decide who goes through to the final, to play for that jackpot, and we do it by making you go head-to-head.
But the nice news is, from here on in, you can start playing as a pair, So you can chat before you give your answers.
And in this round, the first player to win two questions will be playing for that jackpot.
This is going to be great! We've got Midsomer Murders versus Follies.
Who is going to win in that one? Well, all I know is someone's going to get killed.
That's all I know.
Well, let's find out who.
Let's play the head-to-head.
Here is your first question.
And it concerns .
.
Richard.
I'm going to show you five pictures now of famous double acts, but we've combined their two faces into one face.
Oh.
Can you tell us who the double acts are, please? I know a lot of two-faced people! Thanks very much, Richard.
OK, let's reveal our five double acts in a melange.
Here they are.
We have got John Prescott.
Certainly his tie.
Oh, my goodness.
Danny La Rue.
Yes, I've got them all! There we are.
Five double acts.
Neil and Annette, you have been our low scorers up to this point, so you will go first.
Wow.
Um, OK, I think we've decided which one we'd like to go for.
And which one is that? E.
I think we're going to try for E.
And they are? We think they're Lee and Herring.
Lee and Herring, say Neil and Annette.
Lee and Herring.
We think so.
Roy and Anita, it's over to you.
Talk us through the rest of that board.
I think A.
I thought that might have been Hugh Laurie and Stephen Fry.
Yes.
And who's that with the funny widow's peak, D? It's David Who are you going to go for? I think C.
I think C is Abbott and Costello.
You're going to go for C.
Abbott and Costello is what you are going to say for C.
So, we have Lee and Herring, from Neil and Annette, for E.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people spotted Lee and Herring.
It is Lee and Herring.
It is Lee and Herring, and look at that, down it goes to 6.
That's a fabulous answer.
APPLAUSE And Roy and Anita, meanwhile, have gone for Abbott and Costello for C.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Abbott and Costello.
It's also right.
It's also going to be a low-scoring one, I think.
Is Follies going to do it? Oh, no! It's Midsomer Murders who have won this, I'm afraid.
Very well done indeed, Neil and Annette.
After one question, you are up 1-0.
That's a terrific answer.
Yeah, in fact, both of those answers were the best two answers on the board, so well played, both teams.
You will see the scores for the others.
A is Fry and Laurie.
That would have scored you 38 points.
B is Mel and Sue.
And that's the biggest score up there, 41 points, the lovely Mel and Sue.
Yes.
And D.
Mitchell and Webb.
Mitchell and Webb, yes, David Mitchell and Robert Webb, that would have scored you 24.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
OK, here comes your second question, Roy and Anita.
You get to answer it first, but you have to win it to stay in the game.
So, good luck.
Our second question this evening is all about Richard.
I'm going to play you five clips of music now, all of which feature in the film, Fantasia.
We are looking for the composers of these five pieces.
We're going to give you alternate letters of their names, as you listen to their clips, as well.
So, who are the composers of these five pieces of music? All of the bits of music feature in Fantasia.
Thank you very much indeed.
OK, let's listen to those pieces of music.
Here is A.
MUSIC: Dance Of The Sugar Plum Fairy And the alternate letters of the composer are Here is B.
MUSIC: Pastoral Symphony And the letters alternately are Here is C.
MUSIC: Toccata and Fugue in D Minor And the alternate letters of that composer are Here is D.
MUSIC: The Sorcerer's Apprentice And the alternate letters of that composer are And finally, here is E.
MUSIC: Night On Bald Mountain And the alternate letters of that composer are There we are.
Five excerpts of music from Fantasia.
So, then, Roy and Anita.
You will go first.
Tchaikovsky.
Beethoven.
I know that's the Russian geezer, the E.
Yeah.
That's close enough to it.
I think we'll wave that through.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, I think B will be Beethoven.
OK, you'll say B, Beethoven.
B, Beethoven, say Roy and Anita.
Now, then, Neil and Annette, have a crack at each of them, and then say which one you want to go for.
Tchaikovsky for A.
Beethoven, Bach, Dukas Ah! .
.
and Mussorgsky.
We think it's Dukas might be the lowest.
You're going to go for Dukas, for D.
So, we have Beethoven versus Dukas.
Roy and Anita said Beethoven.
Let's see if that is right for B.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said Beethoven.
Oh, it's very much Beethoven.
There we are.
Oh, sorry.
95 people.
I've always been a popular entertainer.
Now, Neil and Annette have gone for Dukas, for D.
Let's see if that's right.
Let's see how many of our 100 people said it.
Very well done indeed.
That's a great answer.
Right down, right down, right down! Seven.
Very good, indeed.
Seven for Dukas.
And that means, Neil and Annette, after only two questions, you are straight through to the final, 2-0.
That's terrifically done again.
Both of those questions you've got the lowest possible answer you could have done.
Terrific work, well done.
Wonderful.
Let's take a look at the scores for the other ones.
You gave us all of these answers.
Tchaikovsky there .
.
would have scored you 52.
A surprisingly low score for Bach, given what Beethoven scored.
It would have scored you 62.
And E is Mussorgsky, as you say, and he would have scored you 18.
Wow.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Very, very good indeed.
Well APPLAUSE I'm afraid the pair leaving us at the end of the head-to-head round, Roy and Anita, it is you, but it's been a real treat to have you.
It's been our treat.
Thank you so much for coming to play.
Come and play again any time you like.
But Roy and Anita, superb.
APPLAUSE But for Neil and Annette, it is now time for our Pointless final.
Very, very well done indeed, Neil and Annette.
You've seen off all the competition and you've won our coveted Pointless trophy.
You will be leaving here with a Pointless trophy each, so that is great.
Brilliant.
You know, that will be a murder weapon in Midsomer Murders.
Oh! Within days.
And there are two of them, so it's going to be difficult to find out who did it.
Ah, perfect.
We've just written an episode right here.
We have! What about that? Well, listen, you now have a chance to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities.
And at the end of today's show, the jackpot is standing at ã2,500.
There it is.
APPLAUSE Well, brilliant.
Midsomer Murders won out in the end.
So, very, very well done.
It's been a very exciting show.
As always, you get to choose your category for this final round.
Four things will appear on this board, and let's hope one of those appeals to you enough for you to be able to pick it.
Good luck.
Let's see.
We have got Oh.
These are going to be quite sort of baggy titles.
I think they are baggy.
Kings and Queens are not necessarily actual kings and queens of England, say.
It could be kings and queens from Drama, Shakespeare.
Drama, Shakespeare.
Shakespeare! Oh, theatre, theatre! Oh, darling.
It's suddenly come alive! Isn't that wonderful? At last, my Lear.
Here it comes.
Umyou're kind of leaning towards Kings and Queens, aren't you? I am leaning.
Go on.
Kings and Queens.
Kings and Queens it is.
Richard.
OK, very best of luck.
It's about actual kings and queens, for once.
Oh, no! You should have stopped me.
But this is what we're looking for - any of the following, please.
Take any of your answers from any of these categories.
We are looking for simply the names of any British monarch since 1707.
That's not just their regnal name, it can be any name given to them at birth, including middle names.
We're looking for any decade in which a monarch has died, from 1000 to 2000, so any decade in which a monarch died, that monarch being a king or queen ruling over England, Great Britain or the United Kingdom.
Or any monarchs that were never succeeded by their offspring since 1154.
Again, a monarch of England, Great Britain or the United Kingdom.
So Best of luck.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
Now, as always, you've got up to one minute to come up with three answers, and all you need to win that jackpot for your charities is for just one of those answers to be pointless.
Are you ready? We're ready to chat.
We are, we are.
OK.
Well, let's put 60 seconds up on the clock.
There they are.
Your time starts now.
Er We don't know anything, do we? We don't know any of these.
Um George V.
The likelihood of Because the point of this to find that nobody, nobody else will have named them, isn't it? Yes.
So .
.
monarchs who were never succeeded by their offspring.
Elizabeth I.
She didn't have any.
But that's the only one I would think of, so that can't be a Pointless answer.
She's like She's like one of your most famous kings and queens we've ever had.
Yeah, that's why we know about her.
That's why we can say her name.
And decades in which a monarch died, that's quite If you knew one, that would be a really good one to do because I think Ten seconds left.
Names of British monarchs since 1707.
Well, you've got your Charleses, you've got your Georges, you've got your Williams.
William and Mary OK.
That, I'm sorry to say, is your minute up.
I now need your three answers.
What are you going to give me? Name of a British monarch since 1707, William III.
Can we have William III? William III.
This will be embarrassing if I've got this wrong.
Charles I, of course.
1640s.
Do you want to go for that, 1640s? Not really.
I need an answer from you.
He's the only person who has an idea.
You're kind of pressing me here.
Shall we put that in there? Let's go for the 1640s.
OK, let's get a third answer.
Names of a British monarch since 1707 - George III.
We don't need the regnal numbers.
We don't need the regnal numbers.
So we're going to go with George Ah, George is fine.
.
.
William, and we are going to go with 1640s as our decade.
Of those three answers you've given, which do you think is your best shot at a pointless answer? I don't think any of them have got any chance at all! I think Charles.
Oh, Charles.
Oh, I can't OK, so we're going for the 1640s, maybe? Shall we put that last? Yeah, go on.
OK, 1640s goes last.
Least likely to be pointless? George.
Put George, then William in the middle.
Perfect, lovely.
OK.
APPLAUSE OK, well, let's put those answers up on the board in that order, then, and here they are.
We have got These are hopeless.
George, William and the 1640s.
Well, listen, very, very best of luck.
There are three good answers on the board there.
Any one of those could be pointless.
And if one of them is, and wins that jackpot for your charities, which charities are you playing for? Neil, you first.
I am playing for the ITP Support Association to whom I would like to apologise for having said those answers.
But the ITP Support Association.
Very good indeed.
Annette.
The Midland Langar Seva Society who feed the homeless in the Midlands.
Very good indeed.
APPLAUSE Two excellent charities there.
Three good answers on the board.
Let's hope one of these answers wins that jackpot for your charities.
Your first answer was George.
This was the one you thought was probably least likely to be pointless.
Only one of them has to be pointless for you to win the jackpot.
Let's find out for ã2,500 how many of our 100 people named George as one of the names given to a monarch since 1707.
It's right.
I think we knew it was right, but, anyway, let's see how far down the column we go with George.
If it's pointless, it brings you ã2,500.
46 for George.
APPLAUSE So, unfortunately not a pointless answer.
Let's move swiftly on to William, your next answer, in the same category.
If this is pointless, it will win you ã2,500.
How many people said William? Well, again, it's right.
George was absolutely right, took us down to 46.
William takes us down, past 46, down it goes, still down into the 20s, into the teens, at 18 we stop.
APPLAUSE Let's move very swiftly on to your third and final answer.
We were looking for decades in which a monarch died and you have gone for the 1640s, thinking specifically of Charles I.
Let's see how many of our 100 people named the 1640s.
If this is pointless, it wins you ã2,500 for your charities.
It is the 1640s, absolutely right.
Your first answer, George, took us down to 46.
Your second answer, William, took us down to 18.
The 1640s now past both of those, into single figures, down we go, we're still going down, we're still going down Oh! APPLAUSE That is an excellent answer.
I'm afraid, though, you didn't manage to find that all-important pointless answer, so I'm afraid you won't be winning today's jackpot of ã2,500.
However, as it is a celebrity special, all our celebrities are playing for a nominated charity, we're going to donate ã500 to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.
It's been lovely having you on.
You have played so, so well.
Lots of low, low scores across the show, and you get to take home a Pointless trophy, so very well done indeed.
Yeah.
That's absolutely as close as you can get to winning, so very well played.
And you're right, 1649 was Charles I.
But somebody else knew as well, unfortunately.
Let's take a look at the names of British monarchs.
They're none of the names that we're familiar with, all birth names and middle names.
Alexandra, which is the Queen's middle name, our current queen.
Alexandrina, which was Victoria's first name.
Ernest which was one of George V's middle names.
Patrick, which was Edward VIII.
You could have had Andrew, Augustus, Christian, Frederick or Louis as well - all of those would have won you the money.
Well done if you said any of those at home.
Now, the decades in which monarchs died, from 1000 to 2000.
Henry VI died in the 1470s.
James II in the 1700s.
1830s to George IV and William IV.
And Edward VIII, who was no longer king at the time, he died in the '70s.
You could have had the 1010s, the 1030s, the 1040s, the 1130s, the 1180s, the 1190s, the 1270s, the 1320s, the 1370s, the 1400s, the 1410s, the 1420s, the 1620s, 1680s, 1690s, 1710s, 1720s, or 1760s.
All of those were pointless answers.
And monarchs never succeeded by their offspring, there are five answers here.
Edward III, Henry VI, Richard II, Stephen and Richard I.
Those were the pointless answers.
Very, very well done if you got one of those at home.
It's been a terrific performance throughout the show and a terrific end as well.
Sorry it was just not one fewer.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard.
And thank you so much, Neil and Annette.
It's been wonderful having you here.
Neil and Annette, brilliant.
APPLAUSE Join us next time when we'll be putting more obscure knowledge to the test on Pointless.
Meanwhile, it's goodbye from Richard Goodbye.
.
.
and it's goodbye from me.
Goodbye.
APPLAUSE
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