Rap Sh!t (2022) s02e01 Episode Script


Okay, he right back in it
like it's crack ♪
'Cause once you fuck
with Reign ♪
You ain't never going back ♪
I tell that sucka
put his tongue in it ♪
And be done with it,
put his tongue in it ♪
Shawna, uh, uh,
put the flour in the pot.
Like a, like a bad bitch.
You just mad 'cause ya man ♪
CHASTITY: It's supposed to
be baking soda, not flour.
Grab the spoon and stir the pot.
CHASTITY: Mm, mm-mm.
That is not how you cook crack.
Have any of y'all been to a crack house?
Look, the focus is ass crack,
not crack-crack.
If people are looking at the
stove, then we got bigger problems.
We good? Any notes?
- No notes.
Uh, Shawna and Mia,
can you get closer to Reina
and stand on both sides of her?
Come on, y'all, let's make a Oreo.
Bitch, you stupid.
- Real stupid.
DIRECTOR: Love that tongue, Reina.
I need more bad bitch, Shawna.
Can you get down low with Reina?
Yeah, drop it low.
Yeah, yeah, you're doing great.
Just a little bit more into it.
Yeah, that's good.
Alright, alright, alright.
Got it. Take five, everyone.
REINA: That was amazing.
- Oh, thank you.
MIA: See, that's why I fuck with you,
because you always thinkin' of me.
Of course. Oreo?
Yo, Shawna, what's up?
So a white woman in a trap house?
- That's like super groundbreaking.
- Thank you.
Take that shit to a
festival or some shit.
- Stop, stop.
- Okay.
We're not doing this shit again.
- Okay.
- Alright.
I'm just saying, maybe
what we're doing is offensive
to the people who cook crack
to support their families.
Right? And it's also kind of stupid.
Offensive to the
crack-cooking community?
The crack-cooking
Like, Jeezy and them.
You know what outrage marketing is?
That's this. We're doing
outrage marketing.
Okay? By any means necessary.
Do not quote Malcolm X right now.
This is the wrong time to bring him up.
What about Martin? "I have a scheme."
I'ma spend his cream ♪
Put his face in that crack
like fiends ♪
Put a arch in your back
then leave ♪
I'ma show you
how to run these schemes ♪
Say my name in it,
go insane in it ♪
Say this pussy too wild
no tamin' it ♪
Like ha-ha-ha-ha
if he ain't got change ♪
If he do, then I'm straight
to the bank wit' it ♪
I'ma spend his cream ♪
Secure and scheme ♪
ADAM: Think this gonna be
ready before the sun goes down?
RUBI: If you let me cook.
ADAM: I'm gonna go outside. I'm hungry,
and I wanna go outside
for a little while.
- RUBI: (SCOFFS) Adam!
- Come on then, feed me then.
- I think it needs more salt.
ADAM: Yeah.
Mm. Smells really good in here.
ADAM: Hey, look who it is.
We don't have any money, Shawna.
- SADE: Hey, Sha'Carri!
- That's why she's here.
That's not why I came.
Shh, stop, stop. Shut the fuck up.
Hi. Hi.
Why are you wearing
my OutKast sweatshirt?
- I look better in it. Ow.
- Get out of my face.
- ADAM: What's going on, Shawna?
- Not much.
Um, I just came to tell you guys
that they're doing
an investigation at the Plymouth,
and they're questioning everybody.
It's not a big deal, though,
but they did question me,
and I wanted you guys to know
before you found out about it
in the "Miami New Times."
Find out what?
I don't know. I think fraud.
- Who questioned you?
- (SINGING) Seduce and scheme ♪
The police questioned me.
- Are you involved somehow?
- SADE: Damn.
I'm a person of interest.
Shawna, what did you do?
I haven't been charged with anything.
Oh, great. You hear that?
She hasn't been charged.
A college dropout.
A rapping motel clerk. A derelict.
Every decision you have made is stupid.
Things are actually going really well.
I'm gonna go on tour with Lord AK.
- Like the rifle?
- Shut up, Sade!
I won't continue to watch you
make the wrong decisions.
If you go on that tour,
then don't bother coming here again.
- Ruby, listen
- I mean it, Adam!
MIA: What y'all think about this?
It's giving.
Period, poo!
I ain't mad at it.
That is cute.
- What's the budget again?
- MIA: Budget?
- Oh, we don't speak those.
Uh, you spoke it just fine a week ago
when you were shopping at Forever 21.
Now you think 30 racks
is a lot of money.
I'm telling you, that shit can go fast.
I'm just sayin'.
Well, Miss Know-It-All,
I already paid my rent up
for six months.
I paid for my baby tuition.
And guess what, bitch? I
got all the streaming services.
Well, hell, what's your log in?
Because I don't even
remember whose I'm using.
Mine, bitch.
NELLY: Well, bitch, why you keep
changing the password?
And in the next few days,
we finna open up for Lord AK.
And once he cosign us,
it's gon' open so many doors.
- I heard that.
- Mm.
Girl, I can't wait to go
to the Breakfast Club
so I can replace Angela Yee.
Now, how is this gonna work
if Lauryn Steal go to prison?
- MIA: Fuck her.
She said she weren't going to jail.
Either way, I'ma get this money.
That's all it need to be.
Girl, she going to jail.
NELLY: You think?
- Ooh.
- ALEESIA: That's the one.
- That's it.
- ALEESIA: Mm-hmm.
That's giving "rich bitch."
- NELLY: Milky.
- ALEESIA: Yeah.
Mom, can I have this?
Let me see.
Girl, who you think you is, Blue Ivy?
Friend, put that back.
Don't even touch it.
D-don't touch it too hard.
- Don't do her like that.
- Thank you.
Oh, by the way,
they changed my work schedule,
so I can only take Melissa
the second week now.
- What you mean?
- NELLY: I know. I'm sorry.
Can't your mama just take her
for the other two weeks
and then I just go get her when I can?
MIA: No, I don't want
her over there that long.
She be drinking and yelling,
and I don't want Melissa
to be around that
all the time like that.
I mean, I know he not fucking
with you right now,
but she does have a daddy
that's not touring
nowhere but his grandma's kitchen.
So, call that nigga and make friends.
'Cause I'm not keeping nobody's kids.
She don't stop at red lights ♪
Freak bitch,
then she give me brandy ♪
Get my hair right ♪
Country nigga,
I eat fish and grits ♪
You should tread light ♪
That shit better than a bitch.
Alright now, thanks for being patient.
My man Freddie.
Got somethin' for me?
(CHUCKLES) My girl.
You all set for tonight?
Yeah. I'ma get ready
at the hotel, though.
So, um, who gon' keep the dust
off these hoes while you gone?
I give Jazmin two days
before she outside ashy.
I'm working on it with Calvin. Why?
'Cause you know Bugs been around.
- Around who?
- He stepped to me.
So he probably been sniffing
around these musty hoes, too.
(SUCKS TEETH) Snake-ass nigga.
And I know Calvin's
your uncle, Chastity,
but all his bitches is worn out.
And all Bugs needs is
a reason to catch you slipping.
One thing I know is,
if you give a pressed nigga
an opportunity to fuck you,
he'll take it.
So what this got to do with you?
Let me handle business while you gone.
What the fuck you gon' do
if Bugs run up on you?
- CALVIN: Hey! Hey!
- Hell no.
Heel, hoes! What the fuck
wrong with y'all?
I can't stand these broke, dirty hoes.
CALVIN: You messin' up
my money, goddammit!
Drive, please.
But you left my love
like summer ♪
Bruised me in the worst way ♪
You straight?
Mia, what you want?
Damn, it's like that?
Okay, So look, (SIGHS)
with this tour,
it's coming together real fast.
It's gon' be a month.
Nelly said she was gon' help me,
but now she's saying she can't watch her
the whole time.
And you know how my mama is,
so that's why I'm here.
So why you ain't think
to come to me first?
Because I thought you was mad.
You ain't never cared about
my feelings before. Why now?
So that's how you wanna be?
We back here now?
This what you wanted.
No, it's not, and you know that.
I ain't want this.
Look, I don't wanna fight
with nobody else.
I got a chance at some shit,
and I just need you on my side, Lamont.
(SIGHS) Look, I'm on
my daughter's side, alright?
If she need me, I'll be there.
Thank you.
Stop playing with 'em, Riot ♪
How can I lose
if I'm already chose? ♪
Like, if she feeling hot,
then I make that bitch froze ♪
And I get a bitch tight
every time ♪
FRANCOIS: Have a seat.
Okay, so I got some really good news
about the tour.
As of right now,
we are almost sold out.
We got 20,000 pre-sale tickets already.
- Shit! Shit.
- Run it up. Yes!
So right now, what we're gonna do
is finish the "Tongue" remix.
Then we're gonna rehearse with Reina.
After that, we're gonna do some press,
and then we'll do the cover art.
Oh, bet. And y'all
probably should rehearse,
um, "Seduce and Scheme"
and "Nann Badder."
Don't worry about it,
I'ma set that up. We good.
Uh, that is not on the set list.
And we really
only got room for "Tongue."
Why? They can't give us 10
minutes? We have two songs.
(CHUCKLES) It's more
complicated than that.
It's not just about the time.
Man, we doing numbers right now.
They gon' bring the fans out.
They gon' perform they ass off.
We gotta have our own set.
And the first song we drop,
almost got a million streams
right now on Spotify.
It's 700,000.
- I did the numbers.
- I rounded up. I rounded up.
they do not have a history
of ticket sales in these markets.
They got two songs out,
and analytics show
that they really don't have that much
of a fan base outside of Miami.
So all that and you want
me to go and ask for more?
This is already a favor.
Well, every time I get
on my timeline, I see them.
So what that mean?
That means you need
to follow more people.
That's what that means.
Look, we go on the tour,
run up the fans, record an EP,
walk into that label, we will get
a million-dollar deal, easy.
- One million?
- SHAWNA: Are you serious?
I mean, it's really up to y'all.
We already wasted a bunch
of time with this legal shit
I could be texting
Ice Spice right now
No, do not text Ice Spice.
How much they getting paid?
Right now, it's an investment.
I need a minute with my artists.
Shawna, what are we doing?

Just one minute. Just one minute.
We're gonna figure this out. Come on.

I think that we should take this deal
because they're about to leave
in, like, a few days.
They're gonna go on tour without us.
What are you talkin' about?
You don't take the first offer.
That's the first rule in business.
First offer? This is our only offer.
Guys, this is how it goes.
Like, you don't just make money
from the beginning.
That's why it's called
being a starving artist.
I ain't finna starve.
Look, at the minimum, y'all should
be able to perform your own songs.
We're gonna get there, but for now,
Francois is giving us
a huge opportunity.
So you trust him now?
I Yeah, I d I do.
Let me manage this, my nigga.
- We can haggle.
- SHAWNA: Haggle?
We're not buying
nameplate earrings, Chastity.
We're trying to go on tour with Lord AK.
Why do you want to blow that? For what?
Mia, what do you think?
I mean,
he did say it could turn
into a million-dollar deal.
And I mean, I'm, I'm down
to play the game for a check, so
Now is the time to make demands.
I want y'all to get
something out of this!
He didn't promise us a set,
just like he not promising us
a million dollars.
SHAWNA: Okay, you
watch too much "Empire,"
and I think we should go.
- A'ight.
- SHAWNA: Okay.
It's settled then. Cool.
- We're in.
- FRANCOIS: Alright.
Let's get to work. We
leave in three days. Let's go.
Ayy, Big Chant got
so much stamina ♪
I love fuckin' on camera ♪
I'm smokin' on some
shit called Pastry ♪
My bitch look like Angela ♪
Any nigga play with me ♪
I promise I'ma handle him ♪
I ain't ready yet,
I'm slippin' on ♪
Shenellica, baby, let me get
another one of them Pink Panties.
Oh, I got you. We about
to make a toast anyway.
NELLY: Everybody got a glass?
So you just not gon' speak to Gerard?
For what? That's your man.
Everybody make sure you thank Gerard.
He was the one who provided
all of the rib tips.
I got my whole rib right here.
- He a man of God, y'all.
- GERARD: Yeah, you bet.
Dink-dink-dink! (LAUGHS)
Okay. The alcohol (SIGHS)
- Oh, don't do this.
- Bitch, I love you.
Oh, my God, don't do this.
(SIGHS) You gon' make
me mess up my makeup.
We've been ridin' forever.
Like, I don't know, last year,
you were just on the pole,
and then now you're on the bus
going state to state!
- Now you look like money.
- Well.
NELLY: You smell like money,
- and these bitches could never.
- Never.
You was born to do this.
Let everybody else
say something different.
I'll beat they ass.
What you gonna do, friend?
I'd I'd tap it right there
like beep, beep
- Beep, beep, beep.
- Ooh. You remember that one bitch?
Alright. Come on.
Let a bitch run up if she want to,
'cause I don't play 'bout you.
And that's forever.
- Ever-ever?
- Yes.
I love you, friend!
I love you too!
- Pretty girls only.
- Only!
- Ugly bitches? Never!
- Never. Ever.
- Never-ever. Ever-ever.
- MIA: Ever-ever.
Well, bestie, you know
we been manifesting this
- since we was kids and
- Oh, my God.
Alright, I want to say something.
Hoo. Okay. (CHUCKLES)
Look, Mia, I had to raise you by myself.
And you might think otherwise,
but I did the best I could.
GERARD: You did that, baby.
I busted my ass
to give you what you had.
And now, I might not have been perfect,
but I'm proud of everything
that you turned out to be, you know?
Getting to do all the things,
and go all the places
that I never even thought I could go.
So, you judge me all you want to,
but clearly I didn't do too bad.
GERARD: You didn't be at that, baby.
- That's a good woman.
- ROBYN: Thank you.
How the hell he know?
What is wrong with her?
She mad 'cause I asked Lamont
to keep Melissa instead of her.
ROBYN: Gerard, let me get another drink.
Thank y'all so much.
(LAUGHS) I love y'all.
SHAWNA: Never have I ever
gotten head from a nigga
- on a moving vehicle.
Yep. Put it down. Take a drink.
Go ahead. Go ahead. (LAUGHS)
FRANCOIS: Never have I ever
had sex with my boyfriend in the library
when my best friend was standing outside
- and really had to pee
- Oh, shit.
and had been keeping watch.
You have resentment,
and you need to get over that.
- You need to get over that.
- FRANCOIS: I'm just
- Okay.
I'm just trying to get you
to play the game.
You ain't got no fuckin' fingers down.
Damn, you got your dick sucked
in public transit.
See, this is the Shawna that I miss.
This is the Shawna that I miss.
Mm. Cliff's ass ruined everything.
- What are you talking about?
- Yeah.
I never liked that nigga, so
Why you ain't tell me that
till right now?
I was You were in love!
What was I supposed to say?
It just sucked because before that,
we were so we were so tight.
Like, I used to call you
when something good happens,
I'll call you
when something bad happens.
Like, there were days where I would be
so fucking depressed and
you would be the thing that
got me out of bed in the morning.
I got it in my head that
Cliff would make me better.
Like, he would make me a better
woman or something. Like, just better.
- What?
- Yeah.
What are you fucking talking about?
You are the prize, Shawna.
I'm so serious. You are.
It's funny because you don't even know
how big you're about to be.
Like, by the end of this tour,
there won't be anything
you haven't done.
What you really need is to start doing
what you want to do.
Mmm, never have I ever
jumped in a mansion pool.
Let's go.
Alright. Alright. Lay it on me.
Catwalk, catwalk, catwalk.
And, ooh. Ow!
(CHUCKLES) Alright.
Okay! Oh!
Alright, hold up. I'm coming.
I'm coming. I'm coming.
Come on, nigga! Woo!
Hey, Lamont.
- This for you.
For me?
Throat Coat?
You coming here being nasty?
No. It's for the vocal cords, man.
Yeah, I bet.
LAMONT: I don't want
your voice to be cracking
when you're on stage.
- Where Lissy at?
- What's wrong with her?
- She ain't want me to leave.
She been acting like this all day.
Lissy, get out from under that table.
- Girl!
One, two
Look, I'ma only be gone
for a little while.
Okay? We can get a calendar.
Mark it off every day until I come back.
And we can FaceTime every day.
I don't want to go to Grandma's house.
It smells bad.
She don't have no channels.
Well, that's what you got a iPad for.
It doesn't work over there.
But, baby, you can use my hotspot.
It's slow, Daddy!
Who you yelling at?
Why do you have to leave?
Look, I got some
exciting stuff going on.
Okay? Can you just be
happy for me tonight, please?
- I'll get her.
- ROBYN: Mm-hmm.
Now you see how she acting, right?
She don't act like that with me.
- Melissa.
- Robyn, why are you even down here?
You gon' get up from under there
and stop showing out,
or do you want me to get you
- Come on now! Look what you did!
- Mom!
What? No, look what you did.
- Give me my damn drink back.
- She done.
No more pink thongs.
She needs some water.
I don't need no damn water.
- Yes, you do.
- Uh, you don't run me.
GERARD: I was running you last night.
- Keep that to yourself.
That ain't for everybody to hear.
That ain't everybody business.
Okay, cover your ears. Come on.
MIA: Um, Lamont, take, take Melissa.
- Nelly, give me the water.
- Okay.
Nelly, don't you bring
that water over here.
- Nelly, the water.
- Don't bring that water over here
- or it's gon' be something.
- Nelly, let me get the water.
Bring the water over here. Watch.
- You gon' be wet.
- Give me the water!
Nelly, give me the water.
That's what I thought. Look, y'all
ain't finna be treating me like this.
- I could be home.
- Okay, so go home.
So that's how you talk to me?
You got a bad attitude, little girl.
Okay, look at you.
You ain't no better example.
- Look at me!
- Yeah, I'm looking.
- You drunk as fuck!
- Look at me. Look at me.
Look at me. The fuck?
Look, I don't know what your problem is.
I don't know what your problem is,
(CHUCKLING) but you not finna
keep blaming me for it.
Give me the damn keys. I'm gone.
- Shit.
- MIA: Mom.
ROBYN: Come on. G
- MIA: Mom.
- Give me the keys.
Call you a Uber with your drunk ass.

you ghost me till you hungry?
Whose leftovers am I eating?
I cooked this earlier.
I was gonna have this
for dinner tomorrow.
You didn't cook this shit.
You ordered it from somewhere.
- Ah, shit, here we go.
- But I feel bad.
I'ma still eat it, but I feel bad.
So, um
how come I ain't hear from you?
I thought you was gonna hit me.
Oh, yeah, I I just slipped up.
I went to my parents' crib,
and then it was a whole thing.
- You told them what happened?
- No.
I'm not about
to tell anybody what happened.
Shit, then we gon' be okay.
'Cause, look, as long
as we on the same page,
then we gon' be alright.
You can trust me.
I got you.
Your plants are dry as shit.
Just telling you. Just letting you know.
Oh, my God.
This isn't you. This is you?
Why didn't you tell me
you was this cute?
Yo, you seen my cute ass every weekday.
What's the difference?
I feel like you still fit this jersey.
You wanna see?
I got 'em in a closet right now.
- I'm just saying.
- Fuck all that. Listen.
This is to you.
You going on your first
fuckin' world tour.
No, Maurice, it's domestic.
No, no, no, no, no. Fuck all that.
You going on your first world tour.
You ain't never fuckin' gave up.
You out here still living your dream.
You fine as fuck.
- Thank you.
Hope you understand ♪
We won't go as fast ♪
Hold me while you can ♪
I'll still be your friend ♪
You'll come back again ♪
It's gonna be alright.
MIA: Maybe I shouldn't go.
LAMONT: Nah, you got to.
I ain't doing this with you.
But I'm here for you, though.
- Excuse me.
I'll be right back.
- What's up?
- So what happened?
- She's solid, bro.
- How you know that?
- She ain't said shit.
So we just supposed
to take her word for it?
Yo, I told you not to trust this bitch.
You know, none of this shit
started happening
until you started fuckin' with her.
Now they want to question me.
STANLEY: I'm going in tomorrow morning.
If it comes down to me or her,
you know what it is.
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