Rap Sh!t (2022) s02e02 Episode Script

Heavy Traffic

Automated voice:
Welcome to our tour, bitches.
Tell a bad bitch to
tell another bad bitch
to meet us there.
- Mwah.
- See ya.
Check out our tour bus.
I heard a lot of y'all motherfuckers
still taking Ubers to y'all shows,
coming to y'all's
shows in fucking Jettas.
We ain't on that shit. You
see what the fuck we on.
Y'all, look at y'all new home!
So this is where it all goes down.
- It goes down!
- And then it goes down.
Okay, bitch! Kiss my ass, please!
Hungry ninja eating everything.
Do y'all got your own bus driver?
- Ooh!
- Ay!
It's the Duke of Miami.
We outside on the bus.
Big bus vibe!
The glamorous life.
We got a fridge bigger
than y'all apartments!
Y'all broke ass.
And we have Bella Reina Reign.
Yes, that's my bitch.
Yeah, it's about to rain on you hoes'
motherfucking parade, bitch!
Taking over the game
with your best friend.
Hey, from the shuttle
bus to the tour bus.
It's our first tour stop, they
couldn't even be bothered
to put our names on the marquee?
It's like nine letters and a ampersand.
Well, you get what you negotiate for.
But what do I know?
Well, I'm ready.
This is fucked up.
Whatever, at least we
get to meet Lord AK.
Yep, I'm working on it.
Y'all just kill it on stage.
Hello, everyone. Look
at my dressing room.
You see we in here.
We about to open up for Lord AK.
Thank you.
No, we haven't met Lord AK yet,
but I have a plan, and
we're gonna see him.
He's gonna fall in love with me.
Or us. He's gonna fall in love with us.
No, no, the apron is a costuming choice.
We're all wearing them.
It's part of our aesthetic.
And you know what?
How 'bout just wait? Tune in.
Wait till we come to your city,
you gon' find out.
Damn. Okay. Y'all
coming for my whole shit.
Okay, first of all, I am an artist,
and that means changes.
And how I express that changes.
Okay? I make music that
makes people feel good
and I'm really proud
of how far I've come.
I'm on a tour with my peers,
like my peers.
And I respect all of
the artists on this tour.
Me and Mia don't hate each other.
We are good. Mia is somewhere. She's
She's practicing. I see her right now.
She's over there dancing.
And we're just getting ready.
We're super we're super excited about
blowing the top off Portland, Oregon.
This to Mr. Underground,
Country Grammar ♪
Came through with a bunch of manners ♪
Write that off for
seventy and west flows ♪
And more than just a bunch of banter ♪
Bantu knots and a .38 ♪
Make the world revolve around you ♪
- Y'all okay?
- Mm-hmm.
Good, 'cause I just walked
past Reina dressing room,
and she had on a custom leotard.
Wait, so she don't got on her apron?
I ain't see no apron. I seen Gucci.
Wait, so she got on
Gucci, and we got on
This is officially racist.
This whole shit is racist.
Now, can I go say something?
Please, yeah.
We look like her help.
Is Francois here?
Hey, Francois.
What up? What up? Can
I holla at you for a minute?
- What's up?
- Yeah, so the girls,
they don't wanna wear
them aprons on stage.
Oh, my God. Why?
Black women don't really feel sexy
when they got to dress like Aunt Jemima.
Shawna sent you.
Okay, tell Shawna
y'all are here to assist Reina's set.
No, we're here to elevate Reina's set.
Okay, sure. Whatever you gotta tell 'em.
Man. Come on. Look, my thing is
Oh, my God. Are we still talking?
I'm just trying to figure
out what you're here for,
but, mm, clearly you're
as confused as I am.
Ayy, V, light 'em up ♪
Skinny jeans, white
tee, G Nikes, Glock ♪
Wanna meet Jesus? Be my opp ♪
She don't speak
English, she speak gawk ♪
Said she wasn't
hungry, still ate my cock ♪
Yo. Sorry, I forgot that she
was getting out early today.
How you doing, bro?
- You good?
- Mm-hmm.
Think I'm gonna go back
there now. You ready?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get to it.
Could you load this up for me?
Got you. Alright.
Can I have a snack?
What, baby, they ain't
feed you at school?
We didn't have lunch
today because we left early.
Right. Damn. Uh, I'll just
order you some nuggets.
- How long will it take?
- I don't know, baby.
Probably like 40 minutes.
Forty minutes? Come on. Now!
- Oh, okay. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
- Come on!
Hey, listen, li I got you, alright?
Just give me a minute, alright?
You never feed me on time.
- I'm always hungry when I'm with you.
- Uh
Mom never does this to me.
Melissa, hey, do not
make me start counting.
Nuggets, nuggets, nuggets
- One
- nuggets, nuggets!
- two, three
- Nuggets!
Four, five, six!
I can go to Wendy's.
That would be good.
Yeah, I'm okay with that.
Code Pink!
Break it down.
Oh, no, motherfucker, not today!
Assume the position.
Yo, I know you
heard about this pussy ♪

It's Reina Reign, bitches ♪
Okay, he right back
in it like it's crack ♪
'Cause once you fuck with Reign ♪
You ain't never going back ♪
I tell that sucka
put his tongue in it ♪
And be done with it ♪
Put his tongue in it and be done ♪
Light-skin with a pretty face ♪
You just mad cause ya
man love my skinny waist ♪
If he don't, then he
blind or he might be gay ♪
And I don't fuck with no broke boys ♪
Hold on, hold on, hold on!
Hey, I brought some bad
bitches from the 305 with me,
'cause three pussies is wetter than one.
Real Dade county shit.
You all already know it's Mia.
It's Shawna, bitch.
Okay, he right back in it ♪
Like a dope fiend ♪
'Cause that good pussy blind him ♪
Like a smoke screen ♪
Swear Shawna caught a RICO ♪
I be selling hoes dreams ♪
If these bitches wanna act up ♪
I can make a whole scene ♪
Oh, you mad 'cause ya nigga ♪
Got his nose in it ♪
Hating 'cause you
home with your rose bitch ♪
Oh, shit, call that boy Titanic ♪
Drippin' when he goin' down ♪
I don't save these niggas ♪
You could call me Rose, bitch ♪
Ask ya baby daddy who
he really callin' mama ♪
Told him he can eat me up
but please don't be a Dahmer ♪
Bitches hatin' on me
'cause the pussy prima donna ♪
His tongue be doin' tricks ♪
Like a stripper out on Collins ♪
Okay, he right back ♪
In it like it's crack ♪
'Cause once you fuck with Reign ♪
You ain't never goin' back ♪
I tell that sucka
put his tongue in it ♪
- Tongue ♪
- And be done with it ♪
- Fun - Put his
tongue in it and be done ♪
I sat it on his tongue,
now he sprung ♪
But I might be too ♪
Wet and sweet when he drink it up ♪
It might be juice ♪
Legs cracked, face down ♪
Make me curl my toes ♪
But we keep it on the low ♪
'Cause I don't trust these hoes ♪
I don't ♪
Get the head, move along ♪
Black beauty Mia long ♪
If it ain't about a check ♪
Fuck nigga leave me 'lone ♪
Two-seater Benz ♪
Put my Birkin in the passenger ♪
Mia wit da hellcat can't
nobody challenge her ♪
Okay, he right back
in it like it's crack ♪
'Cause Mia got that water
like it's comin' out a tap ♪
I let that nigga
put his tongue in it ♪
Now he sprung in
it put his tongue in it ♪
Now he runnin', runnin', runnin' ♪
Right back in it like it's crack ♪
'Cause Mia got that water
like it's comin' out a tap ♪
I let that nigga
put his tongue in it ♪
Have my fun wit'
him put his tongue in it ♪
N-n-now I'm done ♪
Hey, yo, give it up for my girls,
Shawna and Mia.
Mia. Mia.
We looked crazy out there.
Girl, what's the problem now?
The problem is we
didn't look like a group.
You think that was group activities?
Oh, now you see how it feels.
Okay, cool, that was payback.
Okay, fine. You got it out. Whatever.
But just please, from now on,
we have to look like a group.
Sound like to me you need to step it up.
I left my baby to be here.
So every night, I'ma bring it.
Okay, clearly you're not listening,
so do whatever the
fuck you wanna do, Mia.
Okay. Ain't nobody
come to see you, Otis!
plot thick but this bitch thicker ♪
The lifestyles of a real nigga, yeah ♪
Growin' up, I never had a limit ♪
They let me down
bad, but I'm still livin' ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
They let me down
bad, but I'm still livin' ♪
Yeah. Hey, look, that
shit was fire, alright?
That was fire. On this one,
let's do something different.
Let's, uh, um, like, be more
animated. You feel me?
On your voice. Like,
be on your Kendrick shit.
Let's try it. I could do
that for you. Let's do it.
Alright, bet. Let me get you right here.
- Yeah, baby?
- Daddy, can we go now?
Um, j-just give me a second, okay?
- I'm still working.
- It's been millions of seconds.
I'm ready to go now!
O-okay. Just go play
with your iPad, okay?
- It died!
- Yo, 'Mont, you ready?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm 'bout
I'm 'bout to punch you in.
Growin' up, I never had a limit ♪
They let me ♪
Oh, what the fuck? What the fuck?
No, no, Lissa!
I told you to wait! Look
what you done done!
Baby, I'm, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Come here. Come here, Mama.
What's going on, my man?
That shit crazy, bro. We good?
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. We got it, though.
We, uh, we just got
to sort this out. I'm
My bad, man. I'm sorry, baby.
Hey, yo. Just got off the
stage from our first show.
You know, we
absolutely killed that shit.
Me and Mia ate.
Whew! One show down,
so many more shows to go.
I might be a little different now, okay?
I ain't poppin' out at parties,
you got to book me for a show.
I'ma go ahead and take
these little credentials
and go watch Lord AK perform.
Bye, y'all. See you. Nice to catch up.
Hey. Where Melissa?
In the bed.
It's 11:30 over here.
Oh, damn. I forgot the time difference.
How y'all doing?
Oh, did you remember the half day?
Yes. Yeah, of course, I did.
How was your first show?
Whew, I honestly don't even remember.
I just know people were screaming.
It felt like I was high,
and I don't even know
who I was up there,
but they was eating that shit up.
And now my knees hurt.
Knees hurt. Loss of memory.
Yeah. It sound like
they got to meet Miyaki.
I forgot about her. I
ain't seen her in a minute.
Me either, but I ain't forget about her.
So, how'd the session go?
Man, I had to take Lissa with me
'cause Grandmama and your mama was busy.
Dawg, I ain't gonna lie,
I ain't gonna hold you,
that girl is a lot.
Damn, I see why you be tired.
I told you. You think I be trippin'.
- I told you.
- Fo' sure.
Yo, and I tried that
the, the counting thing.
What happen when you get to 10?
Oh, baby, I don't even get to three.
Okay. Oh, oh, I seen, uh,
I seen that Courtney
Luke done joined y'all tour.
Yeah, that's dope. Look,
I-I been following his sound
and also trying to
send him shit for a while.
Mm. For real? I ain't
never heard of him.
Yeah, he next up.
So if you get to meet him,
plug me in, big dawg, you know?
Well, if you be nice to me
- I'll think about it.
- Alright, alright.
I appreciate you, Mama.
Tell Miyaki I said good night.
Man, get off my line.
It's time, yo! Get ready!
That's right. We comin' out ready.
Lord AK!
'Cause I'm likin' the way
I'm gettin' to these checks ♪
Niggas talkin' tough, but
I swear y'all ain't no threat ♪
Remix the Sprite with that tec ♪
Get this bitch loose off a Percocet ♪
Haters mad let me get 'em more upset ♪
Heard these niggas mad
let me get 'em more upset ♪
I'm a loner, dolo flights on the jet ♪
Ever since I got on ♪
I hear they're starting to let
people in Lord AK green room.
Let's go before it fill up.
Ooh! We finna be VIP.
When y'all come in, come see me.
Goddamn, y'all look good.
- Who you with?
- Oh, I manage Shawna and Mia.
- They the opening act.
- The white girl?
Nah, the group. Lord AK is a big fan.
Man, he personally requested them.
Well, that's none of my business.
But they got all-access badges, so
- Right.
- they can come on in,
but you can't.
You got a staff badge.
What the fuck? What you mean?
- It's not the badge.
- I'm they representation.
I got to make sure they
good back there, okay?
We appreciate you so much, sir.
Thank you. Um, what do you want to do?
Call Francois. He'll get you in.
- Yeah.
- Call him.
Alright. Well, shit,
let them in right now,
and then I'll just be back later.
Since you wanna do the most, nigga.
Fuck, you act like you
get commission, nigga.
Come on, y'all.
Yo, yo! Hey, hey, hey, P, take
they phones, man. Come on.
Open your heart, open your mind,
embrace the experience,
and let's make this
a night to remember.
What up, Anaconda?
How you feeling? How
Ooh, with the roll on it.
Unh! That's one.
That's two. That's three.
Get your ass up in here. Hey!
Okay, this is exactly what I expected.
So are we supposed to just
wait for Lord AK to get here?
I don't know.
Maybe just, like, network or something.
We just got to get past
all these little groupie hoes.
I'm sure there's somebody
here that knows Lord AK
or is maybe on the tour or something.
Well, the only one I recognize is Gat,
and he ain't had a hit
since Kodak got out of jail.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
- Yeah.
- I mean, it doesn't matter.
These niggas are all opportunities.
That's Lord AK's friend,
Smacc. I'ma go talk to him.
Smacc. Hi.
Hey, Smacc. How's your day going?
Every day the day dies.
Okay, I see why you're
sitting here by yourself.
Niggas copy the sauce like
they don't mind bein' clones ♪
Too much shit that
be all up on my dome ♪
Pop a Perc, let that
get me in my zone ♪
Macaulay Culkin, she
tell me she home alone ♪
Pull up on her, get
straight to it, set the tone ♪
Since a kid I was ♪
I got them. Hey, they with me.
Hey. Y'all wanna party backstage?
Come on. You with me. Come down.
She for sure get to go. Come on.
You're really gon' make
me repeat myself, huh?
I just brought the finest females
in the building back here
for Lord AK and his squad.
And his squad!
I'll be right back.
And you gon' tell Lord AK that you
turned around four bad bitches?
'Cause I can tell him myself.
Hey, nigga, what you doing?
My nigga P!
It's good to see you, baby.
Hey, look, I got some bad bitches.
Listen, all of 'em.
Hey! Ah!
See, we trying to party
with y'all. What's up?
God damn! Hell, yeah!
Hey, bring all your
thick asses up in here!
- Come on.
- Watch out, nigga.
One, two, three, four.
Ooh, cinco, siete!
Ha, ha! Nigga, you mad.
Peanut: La-dee-da-dee-da ♪
New batch of hoes ♪
Ha! Good looking out. What?
What's up, fool?
Hey, hey, hey! We turning up or what?
Hell yeah, we are!
That's what I like. Open wide.
That's what I'm talkin'
'bout. Woo! Fuck it up!
Hey, yo, all y'all motherfuckers
better get this shit lit
before AK get back, you feel me?
Shit, I could help you with
that. You trying to match one?
Oh, no, I'm good.
Hey, well, look, though,
I got whatever you want.
Hey, listen, shorty
you ain't got shit I want.
Hey, I'm fucking
with you. I'm fucking
- Hey, let me get that bag.
- You had me.
- Let me get that bag.
- Yeah, I got everything.
Hey, yo, niggas mixing
random drugs, bro?
After Brixx?
Fuck, man.
Trippin', bro.
- Hey, take this with me.
- Huh?
Hey, this right here. Little bump.
- Come on.
- Yeah.
Let's go. Let's go.
Woo! Shit!
Hey, we lit, y'all!
Are these drinks free?
Guess who made it in
even though y'all tried
to leave a bitch behind?
- Ha!
- Tity.
We needed you.
And I'm here for y'all.
Lord AK got about three,
four more songs to go.
And then he gonna come back here,
and then I got y'all.
Damn, bitch. Why
y'all shoulders rocking?
What shoulders? Y'all in
line? What y'all getting?
A rum and Coke. You're hurting me.
Uh, tequila and pineapple.
- Hey, I got y'all.
- Uh!
I don't know if y'all
realize, but this our time.
This a live action vision board.
This is success.
You see that nigga hairline right there?
Straight from Turkey. That's success.
Look at that BBL right there.
Look at the ass-to-thigh ratio.
Goddamn, that's money.
I'm thinking Colombia.
I want to bite it.
Listen, here's my thing.
Anytime you see this many groupies,
there gotta be some money around.
You just got to follow the groupies.
You just got to follow the groupies
like you following a-a pot of gold
to the end of the end of the rainbow.
You just got to follow, follow, follow.
I got to pee.
I got to pee.
I'll be back.
What was up with her?
Whatever she drinking,
I don't want none of that shit.
What the fuck?
Alright, alright. Come
on, y'all. We got this.
We can't lose again.
- What y'all playing?
- It's flip cup.
You trying to get in?
We finna play again.
I don't know how to play.
What, you gon' teach me?
Yeah, stand right here.
You gon' be the anchor.
Alright, y'all ready?
Yeah, let's do it!
Hey, hey. I know you.
Oh, really? You were in the crowd.
Nah. I seent you in my dreams.
Oh, my God. Okay.
- Mm.
- Oh, two times?
Okay, that's weird.
Okay, I'm gonna go see my friend.
Have a good night.
Hey, hey, bring her over here, too!
Ooh, that was you up there tonight!
Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Yes.
Girl, you was talking your shit.
You kind of give me Rapsody vibes.
- Really?
- If she was a hoe.
Yep. Yeah. Yeah, r-right.
Yeah. Th-that's pretty accurate. Um
Like, I ain't really into dogs.
You know, I never was a
fan of bound responsibility.
I'm more of an ant farm
type of person, you know?
'Cause they do they own thing.
They-they-they stay focused.
They just be walking, walking, walking.
Formation, formation,
like on they Beyoncé shit
Hey, you.
- I heard you manage.
- Yeah.
- You got talent?
- Yeah, you wanna see?
Hold this.
I got you.
What you still doing in Portland?
Girl, you cool as hell.
I know that.
What's your name?
Mm, you can call me Miyaki.
- Miyaki.
- Mm-hmm, Miyaki.
Courtney Luke.
Mia. Where you at? I miss you.
You supposed to be right here.
Come see me. Just say the word.
- You ready?
- Duh.
Hey, Gat.
- Um, I am a huge fan.
- Oh, yeah?
"Who Got the Gat" is, uh,
is one of my favorite songs.
Oh, word. Word. Yeah.
I'm a performer, too. I'm
My name's Shawna. I'm in a group
Okay, yeah, hold that
thought. Hey, yo, Smacc.
Smacc, get up, bro. We about to start.
I'm good, bro.
I'm good.
Hey, yo. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me. Hey.
First off, I just wanna pour
one out for our brother Brixx.
We miss you.
- Big Brixx!
- Mm-hmm.
And we love you, nigga.
Love you, man.
- Yeah.
- We miss you, baby.
- It's all day!
- So sad.
R.I.P. Brixx.
Alright, now, now we gon' play a game.
Alright, everybody, come in, come in.
We gon' play a game.
And whoever's left
at the end of this game
gets to come on Lord AK's tour bus!
Yeah, y'all like that?
Alright, so we got
some trivia for y'all.
Y'all ready?
We gon' start with you, actually.
Can you tell me
what's the name of
Lord AK's first mixtape?
Really easy.
- "Darkness"?
- Hoo, that's right!
Ding, ding! Open wide.
It's "Sounds of Percocet."
Hoo, careful, careful, baby.
There we go.
Who next? Ooh.
Hmm. You.
What's the square root of 92?
- Nine point
- Wrong answers.
Losers got to go. Kick rocks.
- Bye.
- Ooh.
Just go. I'll see you at the house.
Goddamn. Let's see, let's see.
- Really hard question.
- Oh.
Hi, cutie. Check this out.
I need you to tell me
how many letters in the alphabet.
- 24.
- Ooh, close enough, baby girl.
Come on. Mm.
- Oh, you gotta be kidding me.
- You know what?
I've been, I've been going
a little hard on y'all, huh?
My bad, my bad. I'ma go easy on you.
You should definitely know this.
- Okay.
- How many countries in Africa?
- Shit.
- Hold up.
Oh, hell no!
You know, I'ma help you out right now.
Gravy, escort this Nubian queen
out the door for me, please.
Thank you.
Yeah. You see this? You see this?
This don't piss you off?
Bitch, relax. I'm just
trying to have fun.
Let's see.
Oh. What's up, shorty? How you feeling?
You know, I want you to
complete this phrase for me, alright?
"Head, shoulders, knees, and"
- Toes.
- Hoo-hoo!
That's right, baby. Come on, now.
Alright, cool, give her the
children's nursery song.
Yeah, that makes sense. Sis,
you see what's happening, right?
- Mm-mm.
- Oh. Okay.
What about you? You want a turn?
Who shot Biggie?
Ooh, damn.
It's a trick question. It's unsolved.
I don't know, man. I'm just saying
maybe the game should be fair.
Could you please just shut the fuck up?
Come on, tick-tock.
Bye, dreadlocks!
This is fucked up.
Little Miss Know-It-All.
Let's see.
- Alright, check this out, Shirley.
- It's Shawna.
I want you to name all
the members of Wu-Tang.
Ooh, shit!
- That's hard.
- Huh?
Nigga, I see what you're doing.
You wanna quit? The door right there.
Rza, Gza, Method Man,
Ghostface Killa,
Inspectah Deck, Raekwon,
U-God, Masta Killah, DJ
Symphony, Mathematics,
Cappadonna, and
my personal favorite Ol' Dirty Bastard.
She missin' one.
So what's up? You gonna ask the
white girl over here what color the
Aw, you ain't got to get upset, shorty.
Come on. It's a game!
Does that mean she's out?
Yeah. She gone, baby. Hey,
hey, hey! Charity, Charity.
Where you going? Come on, leave the bag.
Y'all are wild.
- You already know how we do.
- You got Instagram?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
"@GataTatTat" everywhere.
Instagram, Twitter,
TikTok. Blow that shit up.
- Got it.
- Hey, I'ma fuck with you.
So, you gettin' on this bus?
Are you okay?
I'ma get you a towel.
Did you say something to them?
What? Are you serious?
Look, you gotta watch
how you move, Shawna.
You can't keep complaining
about everything.
Damn. "This racist. This misogynistic."
You're around a bunch
of rap niggas, Shawna.
You could keep acting like
you all special and above niggas,
or you could play a role
and keep it pushin' like everybody else.
- Hmm.
- Sorry your hair got messed up.
I'ma meet y'all in the next city.
Ca$h wanna fly me out.
I mean,
we got a long drive,
and it's already cramped on here,
so I'ma just fly.
Best opening night ever!
Why didn't you bitches come to dinner?
I know y'all not going to sleep.
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