Remington Steele (1982) s04e21 Episode Script

Steele Alive and Kicking

If I were to bulk up a bit do you suppose I might make out better with the, um, chicks? Guaranteed.
We've got trouble.
Clean living, Weasel.
Does wonders, mate.
We've got trouble.
We got trouble.
So? The tests show no sign of the tumor whatsoever.
No damaged tissue.
No loss of motor skills or mental capacity.
Cut the mumbo jumbo, doc.
By all rights, you should be dead.
Or at the very least brain-damaged.
As I told you before, in an operation as radical as this considering the experimental techniques we used- Doc, you mean to tell me- That's right, Vinnie.
- You're going to live.
- What do you mean, I'm gonna live? Doc! My sister wanted me to take care of the children's pets while they're on vacation.
Charming collection.
Well, I just hope none of them dies on me.
Frances would have a fit.
I suggest you cut back on those flakes, unless you want to see a goldfish explode.
Sorry about your window.
I, uh, tripped.
What were you doing out there? You, uh, dropped your turtle.
Who are you? Vinnie Dowd.
I'm in trouble, and I need your help.
- Wouldn't it have been easier to use the door? - Wait a minute.
Vincent Dowd? The Le Blanc kidnapping? Yeah.
Only I didn't do it.
You gotta believe me.
I thought you were convicted of murder.
Life imprisonment.
- Yeah, but I was framed.
- By whom? - Me.
- You framed yourself? Did a humdinger of a job, huh? No.
Hey, wait, wait, wait.
Just hold it one minute.
- This is just gonna take a minute.
- All right.
Well, since you put it like that, we'll just sit down.
Okay? - Yeah.
Take a load off.
- All right.
Don't worry.
- Here we are.
- Okay.
I'm a school bus driver.
Right? I never been sick a day in my life, and then one day- bang! I black out.
My doctor says I got some sort of terminal brain disease.
So far I'm not surprised.
Well, anyway, you know, that's the breaks.
But at least Nedra- that's my wife- gets my insurance money.
Only we checked the policy, and it doesn't cover that sort of thing.
- How 'bout that, huh? - Oh- We're listening, Mr.
Yeah, well, anyway, then this famous guy this exercise guy, Lance Le Blanc, gets kidnapped.
A couple of days pass, and they find the body.
So his wife offers this, uh, huge reward.
$250,000, wasn't it? Yeah.
In cash.
And I think to myself, holy magnolia! What if I become the kidnap killer and Nedra collects the reward? Wait a minute.
The police would see through that in a minute, considering your medical condition.
That's right.
So I devise this plan.
I plant evidence against myself and then I tip the cops with an anonymous letter, claiming to be my accomplice.
I remember now.
The accomplice was never found, but somehow he got away with the reward money too? Pretty smart, huh? Then the cops bust me and they stake out the P.
box where I set up for the ransom.
Only they don't know I've already arranged to have the mail forwarded to another box in a different town.
Where your wife picked it up.
! And suddenly had a quarter of a million dollars.
Everything was going perfect.
Then a couple of months ago, I was strolling around the prison yard and I started to feel dizzy.
And my head feels like it's gonna spit my eyeballs out or somethin'.
And then- bang! I hit the deck thinkin' "Nedra, this is it, baby.
I'm history.
" And? And then I wake up in the prison ward of a hospital.
Turns out some young, brilliant doctor used me as a guinea pig, and I'm cured.
I'm gonna live behind bars for the rest of my life for something I never did! - So you took a hike? - Yeah, well, I panicked.
This is the most preposterous story I have ever heard.
Now, look, if you don't believe me, here.
Take it.
Go on.
I'm putting my fate into your hands.
You're my only hope.
You gotta find out who killed Lance Le Blanc and get me off the hook! Police.
Open up.
Maybe I better keep my fate in my own hands for a while, huh? - We'll keep in touch.
- Yeah, hey, uh- - Hi, Laura.
- Detective.
Sorry to bother you.
There's an escaped con in the neighborhood.
Guys are going door to door.
- You haven't seen anything suspicious, have you? - Well, as a matter of- We were just wondering what all the commotion was about really.
You remember Mr.
Uh, Detective Zweigenhauer.
We met on the Buxton Sears case about a year ago.
Buxton Sears.
- Oh, yes, of course! Yeah.
How you doing? - Oh, fine, thank you.
What's that? Oh, it was just a little accident.
It's a miracle no one was hurt really.
He's in the alley! Huh.
- Sorry about the turtle.
- Oh! Oh, boy.
Down, Mildred.
- What a waste.
- Lance Le Blanc? Lunch? - A replacement for Phyllis.
- Who's Phyllis? - A turtle.
- What turtle? Fill you in later, Mildred.
Now, Laura, about this case.
Don't tell me you believe that story we heard last night.
Actually, Mildred and I have been going over the case, and I think- Mr.
Steele, the man is a condemned murderer.
Condemned men will go to great lengths to escape their fate.
Laura, Laura, Laura.
You just saw Lance on the video just now.
Do you honestly believe that Vinnie killed him? "With a blow to the head by a blunt object.
" - Of course.
- Lance would've pulverized him just by flexing.
Laura, Laura, Laura.
The man has gone to a lot of trouble to see us.
Now, what if we go over to see Vinnie's wife? If she doesn't confirm the story, then we drop the whole thing, hey? - Promise? - Absolutely.
See that Phyllis has enough water, Mildred.
Ugh! He told you he was cured? Mrs.
Dowd, we'd like to know if your husband is telling the truth.
Oh! Oh, my- Vinnie! Oh, Nedra.
Oh, Nedra.
New skylight, huh? - Caught me by surprise.
- Vinnie, is it true? You're really cured? Yeah, it's true.
It's true.
So, what, did you put this in yourself? I had it done.
The place looks great.
- Must have cost a fortune.
- Well- What are you doing here? We've decided to take the case, Vinnie.
Oh, great! Would you excuse us just a moment? What? Are you aware of the legal ramifications of aiding and abetting an escaped felon? Unless somebody aids and abets him quickly he's gonna slice himself to death by falling through windows.
Why are you so determined to help this man? Let's just say he reminds me of a young man I once knew who was in trouble and on the run.
You really believe he's telling the truth, don't you? Yes.
Yes, I do.
All right.
We'll take the case.
Oh, great.
On one condition: He's got to turn himself in.
Oh, no.
I- I can't do that.
Oh, please, don't make him go back.
Yeah, listen, I can help.
I mean, who knows more about Le Blanc's kidnapping than me? - Presumably, the kidnapper.
- Besides him.
Uh, he has a point, Laura.
What are we going to do with him? Uh, well, he, uh- He can stay at my place.
Great! I don't like this.
Hey, where's my clothes? Well, Vinnie, I didn't think you were coming back.
So you got rid of all my stuff? My bowling ball? Hmm.
Well, I guess I can go like this.
Wait a minute.
There's that bag of clothes for the thrift store.
Maybe there's something in there.
Let's check it out.
Lance Le Blanc was murdered over a year ago.
We have no clues and a cold trail.
Laura, we don't have to solve Lance Le Blanc's kidnapping.
All we have to do is prove that Vinnie didn't do it.
- Too bad he doesn't have an alibi.
- Wait a minute.
I do.
You do? Yeah.
The night Le Blanc was kidnapped, I was bowling with a guy I used to work with.
Get down, Vinnie, will you.
- What guy? - Frank Dunn.
Got on the stand, said I was supposed to meet him bowling, but I never showed up.
Will you get down! He perjured himself for you? Well, what the heck.
I gave the guy a grand.
- Where does he live? - Turn right.
I hope Mildred's taking good care of Phyllis.
You have no idea what I went through to find that particular turtle.
Well, you've seen one, you've seen them all.
- Not if you're a six-year-old.
- Uh-huh.
You okay? Oh.
Uh, me? Yeah, yeah.
I- I- I can't find my car keys.
You got a driver's license? Yes.
Not on me.
But I do have one.
Oh, Frank.
I thought you said your name was Remington Steele.
Yeah, I said that.
Registration says this car belongs to Laura Holt.
Who's she? - My sister.
- I don't think so.
- My aunt.
- Out of the car.
Vinnie! I'm starting to think last night was no coincidence.
Then I say to myself, why would the city's prettiest P.
I a woman who's good enough to run her own shop, be workin' for a guy like Dowd? We're not working for Dowd.
Come on.
The guy in the car matched the description.
Or what? Maybe you just lent him the car.
The car was stolen.
- Uh-huh.
- It happens in this city.
The question is, what happened to you? You never would have pulled a stunt like this at Havenhurst.
Something tells me you've got a point, Zweigenheel.
Hey, I like that.
- Zweigenhoff.
- Oh.
And I do have a point.
Somebody offed that guy in the apartment back there.
I think it was Dowd.
I think maybe you know where he is.
Harboring a fugitive is a felony in this state.
We're aware of that.
Three years is a long time to be away.
Not too good for business either.
Thanks for the friendly reminder.
Hey, I'm a friendly guy, Laura.
Oh, we got trouble.
Sorry about the car.
I- I panicked.
The car can be fixed.
It's your alibi that needs tending to, mate.
What? Frank didn't vouch for me? Frank won't be vouching for anyone anymore.
Frank was murdered.
- Holy magnolia! - Mm-hmm.
- Vinnie.
Frank Dunn is dead.
- I know.
They just told me.
The police came to the house.
They think you killed Frank.
Somehow, proving Vinnie didn't kidnap Le Blanc no longer seems a viable solution, Miss Holt.
You kids have got your work cut out for you.
Us kids? What happened to that team spirit, Mildred? It waned.
Whatever we do, it won't be easy with Zweigenhoffer breathing down our necks.
- Hoff.
- Hoff.
I suggest we sequester Vinnie before he causes any more mayhem.
The question is, where? I think I'm going to regret this but my sister's away on vacation with her family.
Her place is empty.
Great! Ned and I'll camp out there.
- Nedra's going home.
- But why? Well, it's likely the police are still watching your place, Nedra.
It'll only arouse suspicion if you disappear now.
So who's gonna stick with me? Mildred.
Mildred, Mildred.
Welcome back to the team, Mildred.
Ah, excuse me.
Le Blanc? - Yes? - Remington Steele.
- And this is Laura Holt.
- Hello.
- We'd like to ask you a few questions.
- Sure.
No problem.
Are you interested in bulking up or just redefining what you've got? - Uh, actually- - You look like you're in pretty good shape.
A little more bulk wouldn't hurt.
But you, on the other hand, could definitely use a little more bulk.
Oh, uh, I prefer the lean look.
It's easier on my tailor.
Le Blanc, we're private investigators looking into your husband's murder.
The police told me that animal had escaped.
Le Blanc, as impossible as it sounds it's quite possible that "animal" was falsely convicted.
I don't believe that.
Le Blanc, at the risk of sounding impertinent the man who was convicted of kidnapping your husband, if he were innocent is there anyone you can think of who would bear a grudge against Lance? Look, am I supposed to be talking to you? Maybe I should call my attorney.
Uh, Mrs.
Le Blanc, it's important.
You see, a man's life may be at stake here.
It's inconceivable that anyone could have had a grudge against Lance.
He was a star.
Everybody loved him.
The only thing that I can think of is that some sicko got it into his head that he could get rich quick by kidnapping my husband.
Can you think of anything that happened, either before or after the kidnapping that you neglected to tell the police? No.
Not really.
Well, if you do, we'd appreciate it if you'd call us at this number.
- Okay.
- Thanks.
We've got trouble.
According to the newspaper accounts the last person to see Lance Le Blanc was a fella by the name ofTony Petz.
Nice name.
Who is he? Well, he used to work for the Le Blancs.
He's about to open his own gym.
- Just what this city needs: another health club.
- Mmm.
Okay, I'm rowing, right? Just like I can do at any other health club in town.
Now check this out.
It's still got a few bugs, but that's the general idea.
Total environmental experience.
Working out becomes an adventure.
- A fantasy.
- Uh-huh.
But if you don't like the jungle, we've got space.
And if space isn't your cup of tea, we've got Hawaii.
- Great.
- But that's not all.
By this time next month, our circle-vision pool will be completed and you can swim anywhere in the world without leaving this club.
Pretty wild, huh? Mr.
Petz, exactly what does all this have to do with exercise? Exercise? We're not selling exercise here.
We're selling lifestyle.
You want exercise, drop down and give me 30 push-ups.
But if you want to be part of what's happening, you gotta join the Aerobitorium.
Soon as this place catches on, I'm gonna make millions.
Let's hope you put a little something away until then, eh? That's not funny.
This place has gotta make it.
Well, Mr.
Petz, about Lance Le Blanc- He gave me my start.
I was a 98-pound weakling until I met Lance.
Actually, he was the first bodybuilder to break away from the all-brawn, no-brains syndrome.
Chicks loved the guy.
Yes, well, according to his wife every- everybody, uh, loved the guy.
That's just the kind of guy he was.
You were the last person to see Lance on the night that he was kidnapped.
- That's right.
- What happened? Uh, I was working for him at the time.
It was about 5:00 in the evening.
Gym was closed.
He went out.
I guess the poor guy never made it to his car.
Did you see or hear anything unusual? No.
He went out, and I went in and took a shower.
- After you.
- Thank you.
Can you think of anyone, Mr.
Petz, who may have had a reason to kidnap Lance? Nah.
You kiddin'? Lance was a great guy with a killer body.
I think it was just, uh, one of those freak things.
You know? That seems to be the common presumption in this case.
Well, thank you, Mr.
- Mr.
Steele? - Yes, Miss Holt.
Ah, Tony, um-Just a thought.
If, uh- If I were to bulk up a bit do you suppose I might make out better with the, um, chicks? You kiddin'? Guaranteed! You, uh- You guys do pretty well, eh? Oh, man, that's the understatement of the year.
- You think money's the only reason I'm in this business? I guess, uh- I guess Lance didn't know what he was missing then, eh? What do you mean? Well, marriage, uh being tied down, all that kind of thing.
I'll let you in on a little secret.
You know where Lance was supposed to go the night that he was snatched? - Uh-uh.
- Tuttle's.
Tuttle's? A restaurant? A mansion.
A Beverly Hills mansion.
And I don't think he was ordering off of the menu, if you know what I mean.
- Mr.
Steele? - Yes, Miss Holt.
Next time you want to work up an appetite- Ah! Gotcha.
We've got trouble.
Spaghetti for two.
! How could you be jolly in the jam you're in? You gotta remember, I'm supposed to be dead.
At this point, you're not much better off.
At least there's hope.
Needs salt.
- Salt? - Mm-hmm.
Oregano, maybe, but salt, no.
At least that spiced things up a little bit, huh? Hit the deck! Vinnie, run! Ohh! We got trouble.
Good Lord! Wait till Frances see this.
Never mind Frances.
What about Mildred and Vinnie? Oh, my God.
- We have to stop meeting like this.
- Very funny.
Somebody was working on a delicious meal.
It's a shame it had to go to waste.
There are no bodies here.
Nobody was killed.
In fact, there was nobody here at all by the time we got here.
- So you just let yourself in? - Key was under the mat.
- Looks like they had one hell of a party, huh? - Mm-hmm.
Neighbors weren't too happy about it.
They didn't mind the singing.
It was the gunshots that bothered them.
Donald Piper, dentist.
Wife, the former Frances Holt.
That would make her what? Your sister? Could you just please be careful! It's a little late for that, Laura.
Things aren't adding up too good for you and Mr.
I know you're workin' for Dowd.
I know Dowd was here.
I suspect your sister's not gonna be too happy with the way he left the place.
Your boys aren't doing much better.
What I don't understand is why.
Why are you working for this guy? You know how I feel about him.
Glenn Ford, Broderick Crawford.
Columbia, 1950.
Ford plays an innocent man convicted to life imprisonment for a murder he didn't commit.
Ruth Roman played the dame, right? Dorothy Malone actually.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I was in love with her too.
- I take it you guys think Dowd is innocent? - It's possible.
Why don't you come down to the station.
I'll show you the case file.
- I think I'll change your mind.
- Some other time.
Hope I catch up to him before you do.
I wouldn't want to be the guy to put you out of business.
Like you too much.
Lock up when you leave.
Someone must have followed Mildred and Vinnie from the office.
The question is, where are they right now? Mildred? Uh, oh, Frances.
Uh- Uh, yes, she's right here.
What? Hello? Frances? Fr- Frances, look- Frances, stay calm.
Frances- You got a call from a neighbor.
W-Well- No, no, no, no.
It's not that bad.
Uh, couple of thousand maybe.
Five at the most.
Look, Frances, I can't talk right now.
I have to keep this line open.
- Why- - Don't- Franc- Mildred? Mildred, where are you? Where? Unless I'm mistaken, that hunk of scrap metal was your sister's car.
We'd better solve this case before our one-man wrecking crew gets his hands on anything else.
Sorry about your sister's car.
- You panicked.
- Yeah, how'd you know? - Oh- - Gut instinct.
What happened, Mildred? - Some guy tried to put our lights out.
- Did you get a look at him? - Are you kidding? - We were running for our lives.
- Terrific.
- What do we do now? So, what do we do? I've been thinking.
This whole thing just doesn't add up.
Lance Le Blanc is kidnapped in broad daylight, from in front of his own gym and there are no witnesses? Two days later, his wife receives a note demanding the ransom be dropped in a phone booth at a busy intersection? Where it's never picked up.
Meanwhile, no one hears from the kidnappers again.
Now that you mention it, according to the newspaper the coroner determined that Lance was already dead by the time the ransom note was delivered.
What do you think? Could it be that Lance was murdered and his kidnapping was a ruse to hide the murderer's real motive? Holy magnolia! You mean I framed myself for a kidnapping that never happened? What an idiot! So, then whoever did it must've thought they had it made in the shade when I confessed.
He's probably quaking in his boots until you get back behind bars.
- Or dead.
- Don't panic, Vinnie.
We may not have much to go on, but we're ahead of the game.
Mildred, go back to the office, check Lance's insurance records.
Someone must have benefited from his untimely demise.
- What are you gonna do? - Pay a visit on one of Lance's closest friends.
Come on.
I don't know how I can be of any help.
Lance Le Blanc was my coach.
That's all.
I didn't really know him that well.
Tuttle, according to our sources Lance was more than just your coach.
Unzip me.
- I don't have to talk to you people.
- But you are.
Why is that, I wonder? - Perhaps we should speak to your husband about it.
- No! I always heard private detectives were sleazy.
Oh, come now, Mrs.
Tuttle our distinguished colleague here, Mr.
Enriquez, from south of the border has an impeccable reputation.
But it's not his reputation that's on the line now, is it? You were with Lance on the night he disappeared, weren't you, Mrs.
Tuttle? - How much do you want? - Just the truth.
All right.
Yes, I was with Lance that night.
But I didn't have anything to do with his murder.
Did your husband realize the extent to which you and Lance were working out? Of course not.
Lance and I were- Look, it was just a fling, for both of us.
- He was never going to leave his wife.
- How do you know that? Because she was the brains behind his business.
He wanted out, but he said he couldn't afford it.
- Where was Lance going when he left you? - I don't know.
He just said he had a problem to take care of.
I think it might be prudent if we had another talk with Heather Le Blanc.
Don't you agree, Mr.
Enriquez? Hmm? Uh, sí.
- Can you teach me how to pick a lock like that? - Shh.
Oh, my! Holy magnolia! Don't say I didn't warn you.
Guess what.
You're under arrest! Thank you.
Boy, Zweigenhoff must really have it in for you guys.
Bail was pretty steep.
- Mildred, what did you come up with on Lance? - Not much.
No life insurance.
Most of his business holdings was in his wife's name.
He had patents on his exercise equipment, copyrights on his diet program, stuff like that.
- She had a lot of money and no debts.
- Great.
Two people are dead, we've been arrested, Vinnie's on the loose, and we have no suspects.
- Any word from Vinnie? - Not a peep.
Where do you think he is? Ah- Vinnie! Pack up your bags, sweetheart.
- Where are we going? - Mexico! We haven't got time for a game of eight ball, Mr.
- Lance Le Blanc wanted out of his marriage.
Correct? - So? So, he couldn't divorce Heather because the very things that had made him rich and famous were in her name.
Tuttle said the night he left her, he was going off to solve his problem.
I liked it better when you came up with old movie quotes to solve a case.
I don't follow you.
Laura, look, I may be grasping at straws, but I think Lance hired someone to kill his wife.
Then how do you explain the fact that Lance ended up dead? I can't.
But if I had the same problem he did, I'd know who to talk to.
- Hey.
- Steele! How you doin'? Good.
You still hangin' around with Mary Magdalene over here? - Cruella De Vil was busy.
- That's very amusing.
So, what can I do you out of this time, Steele? You remember a bodybuilder by the name of Lance Le Blanc? Sure.
Got whacked out about a year ago.
I think he may have put a hit out on his wife before he was killed.
Nice guy.
We thought you may have heard something.
You must have heard something.
- Lady, it was a long time ago.
- Think! - Hey, what's with you? Is she always like this? - It's part of her charm.
However, now that you mention it I do remember something going around about it at the time.
Any names? Never are.
Six ball.
Corner pocket.
However, Lance had this buddy.
He used to dabble in the area of artificial persuasion.
But I never heard of him erasin' anybody.
What's the name? What's the name? Petz.
Tony Petz.
Let's go.
- May I? - Oh, yeah, Steele.
Go ahead.
Clean living, Weasel.
Does wonders, mate.
Take care.
Hello, Tony.
Let's talk about the contract Lance Le Blanc put out on his wife.
Laura? Ohh.
Remington Steele Investigations.
- Yeah, I just called to say good-bye.
- Good-bye? Where are you going? South of the border.
Nedra says we can live like kings down there.
No, Vinnie, wait.
I don't think you should go anywhere until you talk to Mr.
Too late.
Bus leaves in, uh, 20 minutes.
Tell him I said nice try, and we'll send him a postcard.
Come on.
Vinnie! Vinnie- Detective Zweigenhoff.
Go ahead.
Tap on Steele's phone paid off.
- Dowd's at the bus station.
We're on our way.
- I'm right behind you.
And, Mapes, nobody makes a move till I get there.
If Lance hired Tony to kill his wife, then who killed Lance? - Same person that killed Tony Petz? - Who killed Frank Dunn? - Who killed Heather? - Who's left? Vinnie.
Laura, have a look at this.
"Bodybuilder whips police into shape.
" "Detective Steve Zweigenhoff presents certificate of appreciation to " Tony Petz? Zweigenhoff knew Petz? What does that mean? I don't know, but the skin on the back of my neck is beginning to crawl.
Something tells me we'd better find Vinnie before Zweigenhoff does.
Mildred, have you heard from Vinnie? How long ago? Thanks.
- He's at the bus depot.
- Fred.
- He's inside.
- I'll handle it.
- What? Alone? - The man is armed and dangerous.
I don't want a bloodbath in there.
Vincent Dowd.
What? Run! Take off.
Hey! - Here's your murderer, Sergeant.
- The lieutenant? Zweigenhoff's the killer? Yes, Mildred.
Surprised us too.
He's not the guy that came at us at your sister's.
I thought you said you didn't get a good look at him.
- Good enough to know it wasn't him.
- What? There are two people trying to stop Vinnie? Ohh! Go! Oh, thank you.
- Wolfe? - What? You know him? Yeah, he's- He's my downstairs neighbor.
But what's he- Nedra.
- I'm sorry, Vinnie.
- You and Wolfe? You knew that if Vinnie cleared himself, you'd have to give back the money.
I figured I could always get another husband.
But where could I get another $250,000? She does have a point.
It's really very simple, Mildred, once you get the players straight.
Lance Le Blanc hired Tony Petz to kill his wife.
Tony took the money, but found he couldn't carry out the deed.
So Tony hired his pal Zweigenhoff to kill Heather.
- Only Zweigenhoff fell in love with her.
- Uh-huh.
On the night that Zweigenhoff was gonna kill Heather Lance surprised them, by coming home early.
There was a fight and Zweigenhoff killed him.
That's when Heather and Zweigenhoff concocted the kidnapping plan to cover up their murder.
- It would've worked, too, if it hadn't been for Vinnie.
- Uh-huh.
- You don't seem very interested in any of this.
- Oh, I am, boss.
It's just that Phyllis went AWOL.
- Phyllis? - The turtle.
Maybe I should have gotten her a leash.
Hey, guys, guess what-