Rugrats (2021) s02e04 Episode Script

Tot Springs Showdown

[cheerful electronic music]


[frog ribbits]
[frog croaks]
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

[car horn honks]
[toy meows]
- Ah!
- Ugh.
Whoa! Ah!
- [chuckles]
- Aww.

[acoustic guitar music]
Her pounding hooves,
the flowing mane ♪
Galloping across
the golden plain ♪
Sparkle Horse,
so self-possessed ♪
She's wild,
as wild as the West ♪
[phone buzzes]
Tell me again why I'm
meeting you at your father's.
I know why, Mommy.
Oh, we're just
dropping off Angelica
so we can get a head start
on your birthday weekend.
Drew, I loathe surprises.
I can barely
tolerate uncertainty.
But sometimes it's nice
to give up control, right?
I'm here, I'm just
pondering the absurdity
of that question.
See you both soon. Kisses.
What do you know
about Drew's surprise?
Three days off.
No calls, no texts,
and no driving by my house.
- Deal.
- According to Angelica,
you're going somewhere,
her words, "very fancy,"
called Hot Springs.
Thank goodness.
I was worried Drew would
throw some silly party just
because it's a milestone year.
- [gasps]
- Did I say milestone?
I meant hot stone, as in
spa weekend, here I come!
[upbeat music]
My daddy says there are
cowboys and horsies,
and we have to be careful
we don't step in cow poop,
especially you, Tommy,
since you don't have any shoes.
Oh, I'll be careful.
Not me.
Bring on the poop!
Do you think this is the
year we'll finally find out
how old Charlotte really is?
Hah. We have a better chance
of stumbling into a pit
of friendly rattlesnakes.
Snake bite kit.
She's here!
Enjoy your birthday.
And remember our deal.
all: Surprise!
[tires screech]
Take me with you!
Mommy said she
doesn't like surprises.
[horse neighs]
- Welcome to Tot Springs,
where everyone's a cowpoke.
This former mining town
has been re-imagined
to bring the fun back into
the Wild West.
And if you're here celebrating
your little buckaroo's
birthday, you're in
for a rootin' tootin' treat--
a bouncing bunny
birthday cake.
Cake and bunnies?
Cynthia, I think I flied
and gone to heaven.
Ugh, won't there be
bunny fuzz in the cake?
Only if we're lucky.
Listen up, this whole weekend
is for my mommy's birthday.
So the cake and the bunnies
are only for peoples
related to me.
Tough love, babies.
But Tommy's your cousin.
That counts.
Shows what you know,
Susie Carmichael.
Cousins aren't real relatives.
Even I know that's not true.
Fine, then only
Tommy can have
a piece of cake,
but no bunny!
- No fair!
- But bunny cake!
I'll share with you guys.
Ugh, always
the goody-no-shoes.
[banjo music]

- Ooh.
- Ooh, a fire pit.
- Wow, look at this.
- How quaint.
A lot of the pioneers
didn't actually make it--
Y'all fixing to
have a good time?
Yippy kay yay, we are.
Howdy, folks.
I'm Miss Mellie.
Welcome to Tot Springs.
Now let's get these little
cowpokes gussied right up.
- [chuckles]
- We better get our wiggle on.
No sense piddling was
so much fun to be had.
- No ma'am.
- Piddling?
Right behind you.
I'm not sure I like
being a cow bloke.
This hat smells funny.
But it looks great, Chuckie.
Do you think
ghosts live here?
Definitely ghosts cows.
Which means ghost cow poo.
I know this is
a lot to take in,
but I have one more surprise.
Your mother flew
in from London.
- [rooster crows]
- Drew, what were you thinking?
I've avoided my mother
for nearly a decade.
Angelica has never
even met her.
And you know she'll
delight in telling everyone
I'm turning 40!
Birthday gal, we've got
a special treat just for you.
[chicken clucking]
[sheep bleating]
Do it and I'll
chew off your hands.
Trail mix?
I think that's for the sheep.
Ooh, snackies.
[munching happily]
Y'all ready for some good
old-fashioned mutton bustin'?
[rings bell]
[children laughing]
[sheep bleating]
Be brave, Chuckie.
Tenacity, Angelica.
Don't let that sheep
get the best of you.
Guess who?
- Hello, Mo--
- Judith.
And please explain why you're
wearing a flowered sack.
Not here.
Darling, fabulous news.
I've gotten married.
[camera shutter clicks]
- Is this husband
number four or five?
I've lost count.
Math was never
your strong suit.
His name is Julian.
[camera shutter clicks]
And I can't wait
for you to meet him.
Oh, but there's
one little thing.
He thinks I'm 50, not 70.
[camera shutter clicks]
Why would anyone
hide their true age?
I didn't hide it.
He just never asked.
Apparently, taking fabulous
care of myself paid off.
Anyway, I've told Julian that
you are my younger sister.
Try to look the part.
Don't frown, sweetie.
It makes lines.
[camera shutter clicks]

Lovey, Simon and I have been
searching everywhere for you.
Hello, I'm Julian.
You must be Charlotte, the,
uh--birthday buckaroo.
[chuckling] You're getting
the bunny cake.
Aren't you A little bit old?
Yes, lucky me.
Judith, you didn't
tell me you got a bonus child
with your new marriage?
Because I know
you love surprises.
Julian, Simon,
this is Charlotte,
my precious baby sister.
I'm your auntie Judith.
So that means Simon
is your cousin.
I bet you'll be best friends.
I have a new cousin?
Isn't that exciting?
Why don't you and Simon
play with the babies
while I introduce my
sister to everyone?
Babies, this is Simon,
my long-losted cousin.
That's Tommy, my baby cousin,
and his drooly friends,
Chuckie, Susie, Phil, and Lil.
Hiya, Simon.
What's that thing?
A yo-yo.
It's not for babies.
You're speaking my
language, cousin.
Hey, how old are you, anyway?
Four and 1/4.
Exact same as me.
You're not four and 1/4.
Pay no attention to
anything those babies say.
Their brains haven't
enveloped yet.
You know what
would be hilarious?
Let's open up this gate
and let out all the sheep!
[sheep bleating]
- Wild sheep!
- That's a lot of wool.
- Wild sheep!
- Whoa!
[both laughing]
Did you two unhitch
this here gate?
Certainly not.
The babies did it.
Miss Mellie,
we tried to stop them,
but they don't know words yet.
Naughty cow pokes
around these parts end up
in that little tot time-out.
[sheep bleating]
It's like having
two Angelicas,
only one is wearing pants.
Oh, maybe they
letted the sheep out
and blameded us on accident.
Angelica's never
bad on accident.
[cow moos]
[pigeon coos]
Oh, isn't this charming?
[gasps] Char-Char, do you
remember that Christmas
train ride where you threw up
all over Mother's
white suede skirt?
Mother should never have fed
foie gras to a five-year-old.
So how many years are
there between you two?
- 15.
- 10.
We're going to need y'all
to be junior deputies.
You never know what rascally
outlaws we might encounter
on this here train ride.
A badge and a new cousin?
My mommy's birthday keeps
getting better and better!
[piano playing]
Told you ghosts live here.
[train whistle toots]
Is anyone else sick
from that trail mix?
- Uhh, uhh.
- Hm? Um--
Honey, you OK?
I'm fine.
Maybe a little ginger ale
would help.
at the end of the car,
along with fresh squeezed
cactus juice.
You all follow me, partners.
The cactus juice is on me.
[stomach lurches]
- Oh, oh, ah.
[piano playing continues]
I'm going to be sick!
The engineer
is stalling the train.
Look out, everyone!
There's been a report of
bandits in these parts.
Wow, it's like the real deal.
Hyep, yep.
Y'all stay calm and we
will skedaddle right quick.
Now, empty your pockets
in this here hat.
I think the piano's too fast.
It's making those
cowboys be bad.
Maybe I can make it stop.
Hurry, Tommy.
They've got ropes
and pointy boots!
Um, guys, I'm stuckted.
Angelica, we need your help!
[sighs] They always need me.
Forget those
beastly children.
We're deputies.
Come on!
- Huh?
Take that,
you amateur train robbers.
Uh-oh, Beans,
it's the junior deputies!
We're outnumbered, Hank.
What are we gonna do?
[piano playing]
[piano stops]
Uhh--the music stopped, so--
Uh, lucky for you,
we have another train to rob!
[all laughing]
Looks like there's
a new deputy in town.
- [gasps]
- The grownups can't resist
a baby with a toy.
You'll get used to it.
- No.
No, I won't.
Unlike you, Angelica,
I will not stand for this.
[toilet flushing]
Ooh, what'd I miss?
Here y'all go,
rattlesnake stew.
Bon appetite.
Huh. Says here that
in the Old West,
this was a delicious
common meal.
Well, I've never been more
grateful to be a modern man.
[chickens clucking]
Time to gallop on out of
this dusty old town, Cynthia,
and live your dream
of being the first
astronaut cowgirl superstar.
Your doll-play bores me.
I'm going to have
some real fun.
- [laughing]
Hi, Simon.
Wanna play chase the chicken?
Bad chicken, bad chicken,
bad chicken!
Actually, I'd much rather
a game of nick the ice lolly.
That sounds fun.
How do you play?
- I win.
Hey, give me
back my icy plop!
Oh, I would, but that's
not how the game works.
- But you already have one.
Well, I want two.
Here, Tommy,
you can have mine.
I don't want any trouble.
Give it back,
or I'm gonna tell Angelica.
Tell Angelica what?
Your cousin took-ted Tommy's
plop and won't give it back.
So, he's just playing around.
But you never let
anyone take our stuff
on account of that's your job.
Very well.
Here you go.
Uhh! Ahh! Ahh!
Come on, cousin.
Hey, wait for me!
I guess Angelica cares
more about her new cousin
than she cares
about her old one.
He said no texts
or calls,
but he never mentioned pigeons.
"Jonathan, comma,
I need you to come
save me from this whole
pioneer family nightmare."
230 Olive Avenue.
Look for a well-groomed
man with a penchant
for cheap cologne.
[pigeon cooing]
- Young lady--
- Ah!
You wanna leave your
own birthday weekend?
- Yes, I do, Judith!
I was brought here
under false pretenses.
And I'm completely
exhausted by having
to perpetuate this
sisterhood charade of yours.
Judy, I'm on to you.
- Julian.
- You said I'd love
a folksy American experience,
and you were right.
Look what I found
in my rattlesnake stew.
A fang!
Oh, it's so nice to see you two
sisters having quality time.
[banjo music]
And that is how
you pan for gold.
Who knows?
Y'all might get lucky
and find some genuine
gold nuggets.
Here's something
for you, Philip.
Better than gold.
I founded one!
Sorry, that's mine.
It just fell out
of my pan, actually.
Now, if you don't mind.
- Wait.
You weren't even looking
for gold, was he Angelica?
Tommy's right.
Come on, Simon.
Let's look over there.
- No need, thanks.
[all gasp]
Hey, at least when I do
something to the babies,
they kinda sorta deserve it.
You do it because
they're littler than you
and can't fight back.
You don't get it, do you?
That's what being bad
is all about.
Oh, piffle.
Why do I bother explaining
to one who's so nice?
I am not nice!
I'm bad!
A bajillion times
badder than you!
He's up to something, Cynthia.
And I should know, 'cause I'm
the one usually up to stuff.

Sparkle Horse so
self-possessed, she's wild ♪
As wild as the West ♪

No other horse
could move as fast ♪
Her equine beauty
is unsurpassed ♪
But the one trait
that must be stressed ♪
She's wild,
as wild as the West ♪
Hey, ohh, whoa ♪
Sparkle Horse,
mystifying Sparkle Horse ♪
Sparkle Horse,
electrifying, Sparkle Horse ♪
There's no denying
she won't rest ♪
You'll never know
what's coming next ♪
As wild as the West ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
As wild as the West ♪
Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
There's no denying
she won't rest ♪
You'll never know
what's coming next ♪
As wild as the West ♪
A hoedown?
I specifically said no dancing.
This is her big birthday.
Oh, I better find
Charlotte to warn her.
Uh, you all heard him, right?
It's her 4-0.
Are we sure?
Wouldn't Charlotte
have told us?
[old timey piano music playing]
I'm taking over your land.
There's oil under
here and I want it.
[laughs] You're a scoundrel,
Durk Snively.
I saw you sneaking around.
What's in the bag?
Maybe this is for you and
now you've ruined the surprise.
- It's for me?
- Shh!
Don't be ridiculous.
This is for the
bunny birthday cake.
What fun are bunnies when
you can have reptiles? [laughs]
But that's my mommy's cake.
You'll wreck it.
It's a horrible thing to do.
You really aren't very
good at being bad, are you?
If being bad is
ruining birthdays
with slimy lizards
instead of floppy bunnies,
then I don't wanna be bad!
This is big.
I'm your cousin, too.
And I think we
should stop Simon.
I don't know
about this, Tommy.
Yeah, we could end up in
that scary time-out place.
A cow baby gotta do what
a cow baby's gotta do.
[mischievous music]

What are you doing back here?
No kids allowed near the cake.
Oh, I was just going
to tell you that I saw
some bunnies running loose.
There must be
a hole in the pen.
No one's gonna
miss a few rabbits.
Mr. Train Robber Chef,
that's my mommy's cake.
And if there aren't
the 'zac right number
of baby bunnies inside,
she will shut this place down.
'Cause she's got the
powers of the peoples.
I'm not just bad,
I'm super bad.
I'll keep a lookout
while you get
those lizards into the cake.
Brilliant. There might be
hope for you after all.
Babies, now!
[sheep bleating]
Nice try, but I've
learned a few tricks
in my four and 1/4 years.
[banjo music]
- Ahh!
- Oh, no!
What's the big idea?
It won't open.
Now we're stuck to the cake.
No fair.
All the frosting's on
the outside, not the inside.
At least there's no lizards.
- Just this one.
- Phil!
[playing upbeat
one-man-band music]

Well, howdy!
What say we get the
birthday gal up here?
- Giddy up.
- Go birthday girl.
- Come one, Charlotte.
- Giddy up.
Hello, Daddy, Judith.
[dramatic banjo music]

Now be sure to
make a wish 'fore you
blow out those candles.
[children's muffled voices]
Our babies are
inside the cake!
I heard Tommy!
It's all right.
There are air holes.
The little tykes are
fine and we'll get
that cake open right quick.
Birthday gal, now would be a
good time for a little speech.
Thank you Miss Mellie.
Family, friends,
I would like to express
my heartfelt gratitude
to you for indulging me.
I have been evasive
long enough.
Today I turn 40 years old!
There, it's out.
I hope you'll still
regard me as part of
your generational demographic.
What an inspiration.
Now I can bring
my truth to light.
I am proud to say that I
am not Charlotte's sister,
but I am her
fun-loving young aunt.
- [clears throat]
Uhh, sure.
Oh, let's go all the way.
I am Charlotte's mother.
You're my nana?
Technically, yes, darling.
But we'll come up with
a name for me that
doesn't scream grandmother.
[stomach gurgles]
Whoa. Here.
Dede, what's wrong?
You've been sick
the whole time.
Stu, I'm not sick.
I'm pregnant.
We're gonna
have another baby?
- I knew it!
- You're having another baby!
It wasn't the sheep feed,
after all. [laughs]
Well, that's good timing.
Everyone will be so
absorbed in Didi's big news
that they will forget
what we just confessed.
Won't they?
Oh, one can only hope.
But happy birthday,
my dearest only daughter.
[upbeat acoustic music playing]
Come on, darling.
Work that pioneer dress.
- Hee-hoo!
- Yee-haw!

Hurrah, a lucky win for
a most unimpressive baddie.
I'm just glad you're
not my cousin anymore,
'cause I already got
the best there is,
even if he is bald
and toothless.

Simon! Now!
Oh, I had a little talk
with my new Nana and Grandpa
and told them
everything you did.
It was hilarious.
Thanks, Angelica.
I guess we're
the onliest cousins again.
Yep, just and me.
Now, let's get some cake.
But only small pieces
for you babies.
And I get all
the frosted flowers!
And the bunnies!
Don't touch the bunnies!

[upbeat music]

Klasky Csupo.

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